Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out?

Pine Tree Name !!may contain spoilers!! not always great about tagging

[miseria-fortes-viros]

your weird obsession with moral purity is degrading your critical thinking skills and poisoning your ability to empathize with other people btw

[lanotteviene]

my best friend linen my brother in arms cotton my partner wool my beautiful sister silk

[lanotteviene]

our sick deranged enemy polyester....

[threeture]

the demon lord, prince of lies, "Vegan Leather"...

[theartofmadeline]

yeah i'm wlw (wench loving wench)

[ladybracknellssherry]

if any of us had written the good omens finale, our betas would've taken one look at that doc and deleted it

[the-oxrib-and-oyster]

… oh. it had.. no beta. we died like… …

[ladybracknellssherry]

gonna tell my betas all those frivolous commas and ellipses they criticized are actually symbolic representations of my emotional support cosmic dust

[segamascott]

[alexanderwales]

Here's a legal PSA:

If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...

YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.

Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.

If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".

Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.

YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.

Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.

Know your rights. Don't let eccentric detectives put you away.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

I have a very rough idea in my head that I don't think I can clearly articulate beyond "And that concludes tonight's reports on German air forc—WHAT'S THIS? IT'S KING ARTHUR WITH A STEEL CHAIR"

[the-writers-wrench]

IDK what this is about, but I want to know more.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

This isn't exactly the same idea but it could be but there is more rattling around in here so:

The Blitz here manages to qualify as Britain's Darkest Hour, thus triggering the return of Arthur from the Realm Avalon.

He does not speak a lick of modern English. He speaks an unholy mishmash of Brittonic and Late Classical Latin.

(Honestly I can see the latter becoming a plot point if they manage to get their hands on a Roman Catholic priest to act as a translator. It wouldn't be a perfect arrangement, but probably better than anything else.)

Truthfully he probably gets mistaken for a madman.

Somehow manages to steal a Spitfire out from under the RAF's nose, proceeds to use it to bring down like half an enemy squadron on his own, then lands in a field in the middle of nowhere.

Police and RAF converge on his location on account of the whole "stealing a plane" thing. They eventually overwhelm him with sheer numbers, but he manages to knock out an impressive number of them in the process. I mean, come on. It's Arthur.

[leseigneurdufeu]

"a catholic priest" i mean yeah sure why not but JRRTOLKIEN himself was alive and a teacher at the time so go big or go home.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

You know what sure why not let's just make literal real-life JRRT himself a character in this Arthurian return story, he deserves it.

[chainsawsdreamer]

@seajr DUDE

[famouspainterwombat]

[voidfishersong]

#i HAVE to include context as a classical musician who is *almost*in these spaces #this is from the schleswig-holstein music festival #(presumably faculty????) #which is probably The most selective classical music festival in the goddamn world #these people are some of the best you will ever hear on their respective instruments #this was literally posted originally by the goddamn schleswig-holstein music festival #these are their dudes #classical musician me is being shocked by seeing them on tumblr #y’all don’t even know how insane this is #y’all are just enjoying chickens playing saxophone and cornet (via @clockworkouroboros )

[iamoutofideas]

meowth voice: today I’m takin james to da clinic to get an aboition

[strawbunni-shortcake]

obsessed with these sausage dogs in leather kink gear

[storm-of-feathers]

yeah yeah rainbow capitalism is bad and whatever but like. when I was a child, being pro gay was not the popular or lucrative choice. I'm happy that times have changed.

[storm-of-feathers]

I miss rainbow capitalism. I do. I miss when it felt like public opinion was still pro gay. I understand it was always an empty gesture, but it mattered in a sense of knowing how socially acceptable being queer is. If that makes sense.

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[corrucyst]

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

[exitwound]

mutuals

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

Which is prev?

Unmarried girl

Apologist

Craftsman who works with a wheel

Archivist

Dying person

Educator

Girl

Jurist

Knife sharpener

Lawyer

Librarian

Remaining time: 4 days 15 hours

[shubbabang]

[dark-wizard-guy-fieri]

context (via @mellorocket)

[chimthecappy]

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

[artistefish]

Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:

And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:

And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗

(Comment compilation from this Twitter)

[aqueerkettleofish]

I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.

"So, boss... I may have messed up."

"What did you do, Ray?"

"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"

"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."

"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."

"Oh."

"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."

"Get the others."

[shu-of-the-wind]

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

[anna-neko]

and important addition

Source: instagram

[adiabat]

you’ll be a teenager in the early 2010s watching with fascinated horror the rise of gamergate and r/mensrights and be like “wow this is fucked up, good thing it’s just online” and then it will turn into the entirety of mainstream politics for the rest of your life

[politijohn]

Source

Insane what a 5% wealth tax on the country’s 1,000 billionaires could do

[quasi-normalcy]

The fact that you can get $4.4 TRILLION dollars from taxing these wankers 5% more tells you that they have too much money.