Oreo @oreo-writes - Tumblr Blog

Vigilante Tommy? Amazing. But lemme tell you something y’all are sleeping on:

Tommy’s a hero in training. Or perhaps he’s a brand new hero. Either way, he has two goals. One, to protect and help as many people as he can, and two, to be the one to discover, catch, and turn in the city’s top vigilantes: Crow, Siren and The Blade. (The names could be better, I know)

Okay. Maybe the second goal is more important to him, but shhhh, no one but Tubbo needs to know that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little glory, right?

So, cue the shenanigans that ensue. Aka a wild game of cat and mouse where Tommy goes irl manhunt, minus the murder of the three vigilantes, of course. Well, what happens if by the time he does catch them, he doesn’t have the heart to turn them in?

There are so many things that could happen based on this. Like, with Ranboo alone. For example, he could already be part of Tommy and Tubbo’s team, join them eventually to help them with hero work or maybe... Now hear me out. Ranboo’s close with Techno and Philza, right? So what if they send Ranboo to keep an eye on Tommy. To cover their tracks and to distract the teens if they get too close to finding out who the vigilantes really are. This could happen before or after the trio of vigilantes grow attached to Tommy. And depending on their opinion of him, Ranboo’s goal could be completely different. If the three are worried about him but hesitant to expose their true identities, maybe they simply send Ranboo to make sure Tommy stays safe. After all, it’s hard enough for them to do so without the boy practically lunging for them.

Or, perhaps Tommy is a simple civilian who dreams of being a hero. And one day, he stumbles upon the three vigilantes unmasked. It’d be a one way ticket to being called a hero, so, he snaps a picture. Oh, goddammit, he forgot to turn the flash off. With quick thinking he’s able to save and send the photo to Tubbo before the vigilantes destroy the phone. And now? The vigilantes are stuck doing everything they can to get this loud mouthed annoying teen to shut up and not spill the beans. Tommy never thought he’d grow to care for the vigilantes he now had under his thumb, and the vigilantes sure as hell never thought they’d get attached to him but, well, things don’t always go as planned. Sure, having people doing anything you ask them to is nice, but it quickly begins to rub Tommy the wrong way. And he’s stuck with an internal war because goddammit he doesn’t trust vigilantes, but, these guys...they aren’t so bad.

It doesn’t take long for other vigilantes, villains, and the heroes themselves to notice that the “big three” have been sticking around a specific kid quite often. And when it becomes blatantly obvious, Tommy learns the truth about heroes and how corrupted the hero system is. It isn’t always the hero’s fault. Some are just following orders. But some? They choose to act this way. And now he has no choice but to trust the three vigilantes to come and help him.

Feel free to use these ideas if you’re inspired! I don’t want to be that person, but credit me with an @ if you do! That way I can make a post with any fics and include my own if I get around to it.

papayafromtv

when jason died, they buried him with the possessions that he carried on him all the time. there was a pocket knife tucked into his sock, the bracelet on his wrist from catherine that he never took off, a tangled pair of earbuds in his back pocket, and, in the top pocket of his jacket, the cellphone that bruce bought for him after he was adopted.

that cellphone stayed with jason in his grave. went with him when he dug his way out. somehow stayed on his person when he was taken by the league, and he managed to convince talia to let him keep it throughout all his training.

he doesn’t know why, maybe as a grief thing or maybe just because bruce forgot and it’s not like the bill effected him in any way, but he never stopped paying jason’s phone bill. his number’s still active, still working after all this time. even weirder, but dick started adopting the tradition of adding his dead brother’s phone number to each and every family group chat any of them created after ethiopia. again, jason doesn’t know why. maybe it was dick’s way of carrying his memory with them; including him in family conversations even if they all thought the number was connected to a long buried phone in the pocket of a long dead boy.

the point is that jason wasn’t dead any more. and all throughout his time at the league, he gets to watch the family chats. the mission statuses, the arguments, the rapid spiral every chat went through where they started off using it as a serious bat communication centre only for dick or tim to send a meme and instantly spiral into nothing but chaos that bruce would neither take part in or attempt to stop. jason spectates it all, always fingering the keypad but never actually typing out a message. he came close when there was a heated debate between steph and dick about the best donut types and he knew they were both absolutely fucking wrong, but luckily tim came in to educate them on the right choice last second and jason was saved from having to reveal himself.

the closest call was when little damian got a hold of his phone, attracted to the bright colours of the block game jason had been absently playing out of boredom while ra’s droned on about whatever had pissed him off that day. he’d let the kid play, sat on his lap and eagerly jabbing at the screen, and jason had only looked away for at most a minute before he’d turned back to find the screen open on the family chat, damian having accidentally clicked on the camera button and taken a selfie of the two that he’d been about to send through. luckily, jason deleted it in time, but he became much more careful about letting the kid play with his shit after that.

this is all just a long winded explanation and backstory for and au i think would be funny where jason’s reveal is literally just him deciding to fuck with his family by randomly dropping in through text like:

-in the chat-

bruce: status report.

dick: hungry :( but good!

steph: seconded, im fine

tim: drug bust went to plan, on way back to cave uninjured

cass: ^ same answer

babs: everything seems calm from what i can tell

jason: a little claustrophobic but the coffin’s kinda homely so ig no complaints from me

several people are typing…

dustinthestarz

jason: why are you looking at me like that?

damian, age 4, wondering why jason looks white if he's his brother: you're colored wrong

jason: what the fuck?

ideas-ideasideasideas

Batman gives each of his Robins a different code to use when they’re in trouble and need immediate extraction. He promises that when they call, he’ll drop everything just to get to them, come hell or high water.

Jason, during his time with the League, shares his code with Damian, to be used “only in the direst of circumstances, when you have exhausted all other options.” He doesn’t know if Bruce will answer, given how fractured their relationship was before he died, but it is better than nothing. Every tool counts when they live such dangerous lives.

Damian uses it exactly once, and Bruce, who still feels the loss of his son like a yawning chasm in his chest, responds to it even though he knows it can’t be Jason because Jason’s dead. What he finds, instead of Jason, is a boy in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-small feet, with a face that Bruce sees himself and Talia in, requesting asylum from a grandfather who wishes to possess his body. Bruce doesn’t question how this boy who is so clearly his son knew the code. Talia al Ghul is resourceful and places family above all; the code is not beyond her abilities to discover, and she is not above using Bruce’s desperate love for his dead son to ensure that hers does not meet the same fate.

Bruce takes Damian in, because of course he does, and since Jason is dead he allows Damian to keep using the code. After all, it’s not like Jason is alive to use it, right? If someone uses the code, there’s no one it could be but Damian, right?

The next time the code is used, Bruce traces the location to Gotham even though Damian was supposed to be in Bludhaven visiting Dick. But whatever happened that resulted in Damian being in Gotham can wait, because he has already failed one son and he will not fail another, his son is in trouble and he needs to get to him, he needs to—

What he finds, instead of Damian, is a boy (just eighteen, too young, but also too old, but also he will always be a boy to him) in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-large feet (when had he gotten so big), wearing the face of his dead son.

(Who, maybe, just maybe, may no longer be so dead.)

secretsdcblog

The Wayne family decide to do a 24 hour charity livestream. It quickly descends into chaos and so many new memes are born.

The highlights include:

- Everyone painting along to a Bob Ross video - Steph's painting somehow catches fire (it was Damian).

- Damian challenges his brothers to a lightsaber duel

- All the kids vs Tim at Call of Duty. Tim wins.

- Dick kicking everyone's asses at Twister

- Dick and Jason try the milk gallon challenge. It does not end well.

- Tim tasers Jason. They get a paramedic to supervise. It takes both Bruce and Dick to hold Jason steady. Tim is grinning evilly the entire time.

- They try to play Werewolf but for some reason they let Stephanie be the "overseer" - goes about as well as you'd think.

- Bruce killing is at karaoke

- They read fanfiction of themselves. Jason gives constructive criticism.

- The most chaotic game of Cards Against Humanity to ever happen

- Superman makes a guest appearance to read some bedtime stories

- Damian has school the next day so he can't stay the whole time but he does introduce all his animals before he heads off to bed. There are about four new ones Bruce didn't know about.

- Bruce shows off all his kids' baby photos. No one knows where he got them from.

- There is a "Wheel of Destiny". They spin it every hour and whatever it lands on, everyone has to complete that task.

- Barbara is there mostly to monitor the livestream and donations and also tell embarrassing stories about the Wayne kids

- Just Dance Rasputin

- Cass tries to teach her dad and brothers ballet. Dick and Tim do pretty well, but Jason tries a pirouette and lands on his ass.

- Tim does drag to Like A Prayer by Madonna. This is how his siblings find out about Caroline Hill.

- Duke reads some of his poetry. It makes Dick cry.

vampyrochor

Bruce Wayne as a dad, but he doesn't try to reprimand his kids, he just acts like everything is his 13th reason:

"Jason, if you throw that guy off the cliff, i am also jumping off after him."

"Dick, if you don't get down from there, I will stand under the chandelier when it falls down."

"Damian, if you cut that head off, i will walk into your sword."

papayafromtv

the funniest thing to come out of those batfam twitter au’s is the repeated gag of people getting mad at various batkids for insensitively ‘making fun’ of their dead brother by interacting with a ‘jason todd parody account’, and the kids don’t even try to defend themselves like ‘he’s dead idgaf’ while Totally Alive Jason Todd is in the replies like ‘i died just to get away from you’ and nobody ever mentions it outside of twitter. i think one day bruce is doing an interview when a reporter finally brings it up and he’s like ‘the kids are interacting with a what now’ and when he’s shown the tweets he just blinks a few times before going like ‘we all grieve in different ways,’ and then he pauses and squints at the screen before saying in a genuinely offended tone ‘does jason not follow me on twitter-!?’ and the reporter spends the next ten minutes trying to explain that it’s not jason because jason is dead while bruce completely ignores them just devastated that the parody account of his dead son isn’t following him on social media

papayafromtv

no you know what you guys are right. reverse league son reveal. Jason comes back to Gotham and does his crime lord thing before tentatively starting a truce and returning to the batfam and one day Dick asks who Bruce’s favourite child is.

Bruce: i love all three of my sons equally.

Jason, without thinking: three? what about Damian?

Bruce:

Tim: who the fuck is Damian

Jason, freezing:

Jason:

Bruce: *carefully* Jay, who is Damian?

Jason: I have to leave.

Jason, on the phone with Damian: so i ALMOST blew it-

Damian: ?! BUT I AM NOT READY FOR FATHER TO KNOW ABOUT ME YET-

Jason: shut the fuck up i’m older than you- and i said ALMOST. i told them that Damian was the name of my imaginary twin back when i was a kid and that i’d just gotten muddled up after the resurrection.

Jason: so you’re in the clear but when we finally do introduce you, we’re gonna have to say that Talia let me name you and i named you after my imaginary twin.

Damian:

Damian: Ahki please do not tell them that.

Jason: no im gonna. you called me a twat last week. so im gonna.

Damian: god forbid a boy try to expand his vocabulary

ineveryfandom

bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.

Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again

Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce: that’s for calling me old

Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!

Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?

Tim: you don’t wanna know

Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?

Tim, gravely: yes

Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!

Duke:

Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*

Bruce: dick did it

Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there

Cass: fuck!

Bruce: language

Steph: let my girl say fuck

Bruce: language.

TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—

Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER

Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS

Cass:

Cass: not fair >:[

In a restaurant

Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt

Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:

Barbara: dick? dick. dick!

Bruce: ill get it

Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*

Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*

Bruce:

Dick:

Barbara:

Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos

Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*

Bruce: ...?

Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*

Bruce: can i help you??

Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*

Bruce: please do that in your own room

Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*

Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there

Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*

Bruce:

Damian, also in the room:

Damian, in realization: jason got it from him

ultimate-marysue

It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.

Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".

Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.

Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.

Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.

papayafromtv

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

papayafromtv

i’ve been on a damian-jason brotherhood kick lately but specifically like. weirdly close damian and jason. codependent to the point where it’s starting to get on the rest of the family’s nerves. they’re used to relying on each other in the league and now that they’re in gotham together they just revert back to their oddly dependant ways and everybody else just watches them coexist in slightly jealous fascination.

-jason tastes every piece of food damian is given to check for poison. even if alfred makes it. its not even a belief that damian could be poisoned, it’s just second nature and damian’s used to handing over a small bite and waiting for the nod to go ahead and eat.

-damian uses jason’s body like a climbing frame whenever he feels like it. they don’t exchange words half the time, he just decides he wants to sit on jason’s shoulders so that’s where he puts himself. jason’s used to being halfway through making himself a coffee and suddenly having to readjust his weight, or hold out an arm so damian can use it as a branch to climb up with. they don’t even notice they do it.

-jason picks damian up from school every day. they go out afterwards just the two of them and never bother inviting the others to eat with them. dick has literally ran into them when they by chance ended up in the same cafe and he watched the two pick a booth as far away from him as possible.

-when people are checking for if jason is around the manor they don’t even bother calling for him, they just ask if damian’s home or not, because if damian isn’t home then jason won’t be either.

-damian knows how to cook exactly one dish and it’s jason’s comfort food.

-one time damian crashed the fuck out at school and refused to come out from under a table, and when the teachers eventually gave up and called his guardian to help handle him, bruce just sighed and said ‘you want his brother’s number, i’ll email you it.’

-damian only ever falls asleep on jason. one time after he fell asleep next to jason on the couch, jason got up to grab a drink and when he got back tim had taken his spot, so he sat on an armchair instead. seven seconds later damian woke up, kicked tim in the side like a rabbit, moved to the armchair with jason, and fell asleep again.

-duke once saw jason tie damian’s shoelaces because damian didn’t want to pause reading a case file to do them himself

-Damian: can somebody help me reach this shelf?

Dick: sure i can-!

Damian: no.

Dick:

Damian: *stares at Jason pointedly*

Jason: ……yeah ok. coming.

Dick:

-one time alfred asked if anyone needed anything from the store and damian declared ‘todd needs new socks.’ and jason just went ‘oh do i?’ and when damian nodded he said to alfred ‘yeah i could do with a pack of socks?’

-jason has kept all of damian’s baby teeth. they’re in a tin kept under his ammo stash.

just those two having a connection that continuously baffles yet resigns the family to the fact that they have to deal with those two codependent idiots 24/7