[bicth69]

when ur son is about to run into a hedge

[uncle-whisky-deactivated2018081]

So, I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car,” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn, wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was

“Ah, my fart cone.”

So anyway

[rynnay]

This was a thrill from start to finish

[hotvampireadjacent]

[entertheaardvark-deactivated202]

that time walter cronkite died and the chicago tribune decided to refer to him as mr. cronkite in their obituary as a show of respect so they ran a program that replaced every instance of “cronkite” with “mr. cronkite” and do you see where i’m going with this

[still-intrepid]

i love this.

reported here: “an editor must have used search-and-replace to make “Cronkite” into “Mr. Cronkite.“  There was some collateral damage.”

see also

Reuters style apparently avoids mentions of “the Queen”, instead favoring the full name “Queen Elizabeth.” [x] and once in this article about bees do you see where i’m going with this

and

the time American Family Association’s news site, who apparently aim to combat The Homosexual Agenda by removing all instances of the word ‘gay’…… reported on sprinter Tyson Gay’s victory….

[the-movemnt-deactivated20170912]

[multeafandumb]

I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS

[mdtwn]

happy election eve!! make sure u leave milk and cookies out for anderson cooper tonight or he’ll stand outside ur window and squint

[spacecrygirl]

[evilspice]

[dirudo]

she looks like a final fantasy boss i swear to god she about to use meteor or something

[knightofzer0]

Oh my god yes

[bodyglitter]

me: protect the bees!!!

bee: [comes near me]

me:

[peteyotterloop]

[ayungbiochemist]

He sucked his cats dick

[tillerboomin]

[bricesander]

[versaceslut]

how little willam cared throughout this episode gives me life

[kalesbug]

Trying to find something to motivate myself and I found this little line from Van Gogh

[micdotcom]

[sparklesandchalk]

In 2008, Joseph Schooling met his childhood hero Michael Phelps. 

In 2016, Joseph beat Michael for Olympic Gold.

[theseprezelsaremakingmethirsty]

Oh my god that’s incredible

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

lush is fine and they have nice soap but going in there is like a minefield of bohemia like if one of the employees doesnt lunge at me asking me if i wanna sample goat lotion or whatever the shit i end up wheeling into some woman dressed in five blankets and knocking the pot of mud out of her hands onto the floor which causes her to scream at an operatic high c for several minutes

[alexander]

She got so mad she wrote song lyrics and edited a video and everything omg

[thesilverhammer]

Living.

[bravodelta9-deactivated20210218]

This is my new jam.

[teegzz-deactivated20170105]

If anyone has ever waited tables or worked in food service, this makes sense

[smatter-deactivated20220909]

Put this in the MOMA

[beautyhasmanyforms-deactivated2]

This is exactly what food service is like