My Organized Thoughts

°All the thoughts from my mind organized into poems that only I may understand° •Breathe easily• «Don't be afraid to converse» Random

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

Have you seen the way her eyes are brighter when you’re around? You wouldn’t know it, but you’re her only hope in this world of ambiguity.

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

With You in Chicago

I fell more in love with you in Chicago Than I ever had before Our shadows tall and slender reminders It was only us in The Windy City I fell more in love with you in Chicago Our temporary lives surrounded by concrete Never letting go of your hand The city never felt as warm  I fell more in love with you in Chicago When we set foot in our quaint hotel room Our eyes getting a glimpse into our future And the uninhibited awareness of our physicality I fell more in love with you in Chicago

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

It’s not what I wanted

It’s not what I wanted

My voice cannot be heard

My face cannot be seen

It’s not what I wanted

My tears cannot be touched

The tears that stain crimson red

Cannot be touched

Cannot be seen

Do you know what I mean

Please

Someone intervene

There’s too much space between

The sky above you

And the grass beneath me

I’m dowsed in kerosene

Please see me

Hear me

Touch me

While my pride hangs

Beneath the guillotine

Its lungs filled with nicotine

I’m here

Behind a box made of glass

I see what I’m made of

In the reflection

And it’s not what I wanted

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

I have

You

I have

The unadulterated feeling of love that permeates my bones

I have

The agonizing pain of a heart break not yet to happen

And never will

I have

A complete bookshelf in my brain that is all about you

No not just a bookshelf

A room you consume

No not just a room

You envelope every thought, phrase, utterance I speak

You are in everything I do

And I don't know what to do

Without you

When you’re gone

But

I can say

I will say

I need to say

I have

A love that has penetrated my daily life since the day I saw you

That day I saw you

Oh Lord when I saw you

Everything changed

I have

Changed

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

PSA

Hey everyone! If you are interested in knowing about my long distance relationship, I just created a tumblr about it. Check it out! 

across-the-atlantic.tumblr.com

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

Nothing was every solely mine Every utterance was just a script Every page worn out from excessive use  How can I sit here and feel special When everything said is only a hand-me-down

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

I can't seem to fathom the right words anymore Even “I’m sorry” expels out of my mouth like broken glass I suppose it’s the result of feeling like I can’t reach expectations I’m deprived of letting myself utter how I feel without altercation But the pain of today is not the absence of tomorrow

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

I mess things up by feeling like I'm messing things up

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

I love him more than I have ever loved myself

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

October 30, 2016

I’m so in love with you It’s as if I am standing  On splitting ground  During an earthquake While a tsunami prepares  To hit me with full force

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

You're what it's like to dream with my eyes open

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

All the Things You Do

My love, I ache for you My heart breaks for you Because I can’t take being so far away from you  So come here, let me make love to you Let’s make the ground shake beneath me and you An earthquake for two Just to wake up next to you  All of these feelings I can’t fake for you You’ve wrapped me like a present and made me brand new Showed me things I never thought I could feel or do Inked your name on my skin like a tattoo And can I just say you are a spectacular view I see my future in your eyes like a list of things to do  And you are all of them You are all of them

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

Your Side of the Bed

I keep your side of the bed empty Sometimes I wake up believing you’re there I roll over to see your slumbering face But the empty space stares back at me I keep your side of the bed empty  Sometimes I can feel you next to me  I shift over to feel your body next to mine But the empty space stares back at me 

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

Don’t Get Me Wrong

Every time you go out I worry about you Don’t get me wrong, I trust you But the knowledge of your past left a residue I’ve gotten used to the smell of it Only does it sometimes bother me But don’t get me wrong, I trust you Every time you go out its hard for me to rest Don’t get me wrong, I trust you I imagine the faint stain of others upon your lips like wine Where I have never explored and traveled But where countless girls planted their flag I know your lips taste like my favorite wine Because I can smell it on your breath And the stain of the past will fade overtime  But what if that is someone else’s favorite wine But don’t get me wrong, I trust you Every time you go out I get a knot in my stomach Don’t get me wrong, I trust you But I know how you used to leave your fingerprints behind So people could recognize that you have already been there And just so the police could find you  When you accidentally took her heart with you  The only difference between her and I Is that your fingerprints are not on my body Your fingerprints are on my heart and mind A place that archeologists have to dig to find And sometimes I fear that you’ll leave your fingerprints On another girl’s heart and mind Another place they have to dig to find  A place more beautiful than mine Not to say that I think mine is beautiful at all But don’t get me wrong, I trust you Don’t misunderstand this poem I’m not saying you are not worth my time Or that I cannot handle what your past has to say Or that the ocean I fell in love with is only a puddle now This poem is not about you as much as you want to believe This poem is my inability to trust no matter how much I want to  It’s about the consequences of another man’s manipulation The endless frustration  I can’t pinpoint the exact causation But please don’t make this a miscommunication Of how much I want to be next to you Because I really want to be next to you Don’t get me wrong, I trust you

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

A Letter to a Younger Me

When you are 18 years old You will meet your person He will be charming  And nothing less than  Extraordinary

He will arrive at the most Unexpected time He will make you feel  As if you’re flying When all you wanted is To be swept off your feet

He will have a past that  Troubles you somedays  But you will grow to love  Every bit of him  And love every flaw

He will drive you insane And make you laugh He will comfort you  And even frustrate you  To the point of tears But he will never  Give up on you 

Some days will be  Harder than others It will be hard to find time  For each other But you will make time

Yes there will be boys Before him But they are only temporary Learning lessons And they will lead you to The finest man  You’ll ever love

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

One day, I will tell our children that I loved you from the moment I first saw you

m.b.

[organizedwordsfrommymind]

.

Some days, it’s hard to breathe. There isn’t anything stealing my air. Except my own broken lungs. Some days, it’s hard to stand. My legs seem too heavy to carry. The only thing weighing me down is me. Some days, I’m exhausted. Like I’ve been running in place. Pushing against a brick wall.

m.b.