Ngl I really do feel a scathing amount of ire towards the popular âtransfeministsâ of this platform, especially because theyâre all complacent in promoting anti trans bigotry against trans men, and they know theyâre doing it and yet they just donât care, and if anything, are glad it is happening because they just hate trans men that much.
They *know* that trans men face misogyny, they *know* trans men arenât âmisgendering themselvesâ talking about it. It used to be a common feminist saying that yes even cis men are impacted by misogyny. But itâs just a way to divert the argument and get trans men to shut up, itâs a way to distract from the points being made so everyone wastes their time bc they want trans men to exhaust themselves explaining the same shit to the same people over and over again who just do not care.
They *know* that âtransandrophobiaâ actually refers to specifically the bigotry/aversion to trans men, hence the fucking âTransâ in the name. They know it doesnât actually posit that misandry exists on a systemic level like that of misogyny. They know that it specifically refers to the mix of transphobia and misogyny faced by trans men, combined with using/targeting the trans manâs masculinity (or his supposed lack of such) as a cudgel against him. These âtransfeministsâ donât care. Theyâve seen what it means, theyâve had it explained to them a hundred times over. Their ignorance is totally feigned so they can continue bashing trans men with impunity. Itâs just a way to divert the conversation, and then complain about âtMRAsâ when folks come in to correct this believed misconception.
And the fixation on this in particular is exactly the point. Itâs more complicated to explain that despite being men, trans men arenât seen or classed as men by patriarchy. It takes more time to explain how âno, if trans men werenât trans that wouldnât make them cis men. That hypothetical is literally impossible and you know it, so itâs worthless to use as a frameworkâ, and thatâs precisely the point. It gets you wasting your time explaining something complex to someone who just hates you, because the truth can only be so simple before it stops being true, but at no point can you make a lie so simple itâs no longer a lie. The goal is to prime their audience to tell themselves a story that all this âtransandrophobiaâ complexity is just some stupid âmini Hitler bro bullshitâ because if they can just get trans men to shut up then their views can remain simple and unexamined. Every time they say trans men donât face erasure, or that theyâre lucky to be invisible, they actually know that trans men are being actively erased and theyâre hoping for it because they donât want to share space with them or even think about them as anything more than a punching bag who takes it and doesnât complain.
Like you can explain everything that people concerned with transandrophobia have been saying for years and in response they will stare you dead in the eye right after and just say âmisandry isnât a systemic forceâ as if youâve said nothing at all. Itâs just a short quippy and wrong thought terminating cliche so that they donât have to think about it, and more importantly it signals to their audience that they donât have to think about it either. Like. Itâs definitely transphobia, but itâs also just saving themselves from having to think too hard about why theyâre constantly targeting trans men, and it absolves them from ever having to reconcile with what theyâve said and perhaps even done to trans men. âBecause trans men are men, and theyâre annoying, so they deserve it.â Itâs an extremely simple idea, and a simple worldview, with a simple conclusion, that doesnât require them to reflect on their behaviors or beliefs at all. The whole âTMEsâ thing posits trans men as being on similar levels of privilege to cis people, and itâs used most oftenly as a derogatory term rather than a descriptor. Itâs completely evident in the vocabulary too, itâs never âpeople who are TME/TME peopleâ or similar, because even that would be far too humanizing. So as long as trans men are basically like cis people in terms of privilege, then they donât need to be helped, they can be freely mocked without it being considered dragging a minority, and most importantly, these âtransfeministsâ donât have to change or reflect on their behavior at all. See? Simple!
But the truth about how trans men are affected by the same oppression just in different ways, facing unique injustices, to the point where trans men as a class genuinely do not hold privilege above trans women, nor act as their oppressors, is a nightmarishly uncomfortable truth to someone who hates trans men and just wants to keep bashing them with a winding diatribe of reactionary rhetoric dressed up with feminist vocabulary. Were that true, it means thereâs a problem that requires action. Not only does it mean on an individual level theyâd need to reassess their individual biases and behaviors, but much more broadly it means that thereâs a problem that needs to be addressed on a big picture social scale.
Like. A common derogatory phrase that gets slung around is shit like âmen want to be oppressed so badâ (they always have to remove the âtransâ part, ever notice that?) and like. I think most trans men would actually be somewhat reluctantly relieved if it was the case that trans men as a class didnât struggle as much. Like those who are spreading awareness about misinformation about and general lack of resources surrounding DIY T and bringing attention to the rampant sexual abuse of trans men for instance arenât doing it because they think this is some fun and silly oppression Olympics game. They want more awareness of these debilitating social issues that go unaddressed and ignored, and every minute âtransfeministsâ argue about the validity of the terms trans men use to describe this phenomenon is time deliberately wasted because they just hate trans men. We need to stop giving them the benefit of the doubt and start treating them like the reactionaries they are.
Their approach to trans men and specifically trans men simply advocating for themselves is fundamentally authoritarian in nature. And I genuinely am coming to the realization that itâs pointless trying to convince people who have this mindset. Itâs a waste of time and if you prove them wrong they donât care, because they know everything youâre saying, because theyâve heard it before. And itâs not going to get them to adapt and adjust their arguments, theyâre just going to keep posting the same âtransandrophobia is wrong because misandry isnât realâ takes even knowing what the term actually means. Their mindset is simply not one which revolves around actual material analysis, itâs just what they wish the truth was, and they wish that trans men stayed silent and just took the abuse, because they need a way to hurt men and theyâre not gonna risk it with the cis men who actually have power over them. The fact that itâs this constant fixation with trans men and not cis men is fully evidence of this.
They keep saying (well some of the less vitriolic ones at least) âweâre not opposed to you creating your own terms, just make them betterâ but like, honestly the biggest evidence that you canât change their minds is their insistence that you can with the right discussion. The argument isnât supposed to end, itâs supposed to continue indefinitely until trans men back down and be quiet again, and in the meantime, theyâll keep bashing trans men and gleefully contribute to their erasure.
I know I am beating a dead horse at this point but I really need this to sink in. People who are in support of trans men will enter these eventual flamewars with the implied understanding that if they can simply explain the validity of transandrophobia to whichever âtransfeministâ in question, theyâll change their views and start supporting trans men in their advocacy. But like, what exactly are the incentives for them to do so? They *want* to hate on trans men (evidenced by the litany of insults all specifically drummed up about them in volumes which I have never seen by the side in support of trans men), and meanwhile, you donât want them to hate on trans men and deny their experiences, *but theyâre already doing that right now.* These âtransfeministsâ are not pausing their actions and waiting upon the outcome of this debate to reevaluate whether or not they should continue, they will actively deny deny deny trans menâs experiences and their right to self identity their hardships the entire fucking time. They already got what they want, and what they want is to bully trans men. Thatâs why all of their arguments against trans men are so shit and easily debunkable given the time and sources. They donât *need* the arguments to be good (if anything itâs not a bug itâs a feature, bad arguments draw you in like bait for a trap to waste your time), they donât *need* to win you over to their side. Like, sure, theyâd appreciate another attack dog if it gets other trans men to shut up, but overwhelmingly what they want is for trans men to be silenced. Itâs no coincidence that one of the biggest adjectives used to describe trans men by these âtransfeministsâ is âwhineyâ.
Letâs also not forget that most of this debate shit is online AF. And theyâve staked their entire online presence in service of disagreeing with those in support of trans men. Conceding any point would cost their entire presence, and would get their followers to turn on them now that theyâve been primed to vehemently disavow anyone who breaks rank.
They insist that trans men just need to invent better language, and then theyâll respect and understand it, but in the meantime, theyâre not pausing any of their current rhetoric or trying to find ways to include trans men in a broader framework. No, theyâre continuing with the frankly transphobic insistence that trans men donât face any unique vulnerabilities and donât need support because as long as trans women are supported then all of their needs will be met. And as weâve seen with the constant rejection of every term trans men have come up with (âthereâs no such thing as misandry, so trans misandry is a bad term. Thereâs no such thing as androphobia, so transandrophobia is a bad term. Thereâs no such thing as anti masculinity, patriarchy rewards masculinity, so anti transmasculinity is a bad term. Oh and isomisogyny? Wow way to paint yourselves as the real victims of misogyny.â), like, this is deliberate.
When people in support of trans men do their own work, get their studies and sources in a row, these âtransfeministsâ constantly say, âthis isnât good enough, you need more research and you need to do better work.â And like. Being people who act in good faith, we keep believing them? When theyâve demonstrated at every possible opportunity and metric that theyâre not acting in good faith? We fall for it every time because we want to act genuinely and these âtransfeministâ bloggers are happy to weaponize that good faith to their advantage. They keep dangling this fucking proverbial carrot in front of us and say âyou know weâre just like this because your theory is incorrect. If you havenât convinced us then youâre just not well read enough, you havenât structured a good enough argument and really you need to try harder if youâre going to get anywhere.â There is no collaboration, only animosity.
So my message to any person whoâs pro trans men reading is that you should just focus on spreading awareness and keep posting without taking them into account, and donât get into pointless arguments because wasting your time is their ultimate end goal. This is just their newest culture war bit, piggybacking off of the ace discourse, and the bi discourse, and the mspec discourse. Because itâs just reactionary bullshit yet again. If you change the environment then theyâll change even quicker than you, and then later act like they never did anything to hurt trans men or maybe even supported them.
The biggest indicator that youâll never get a foothold with these âtransfeministsâ, is their insistence that, âactually you can, just keep doing better work.â Because that provides us ample distraction, and gives them ample time to keep freely bashing trans men in the meantime. Hell, the biggest indicator that reporting their explicitly hateful posts, blocking their blogs, and archiving their shit takes actually works, is their insistence that itâs âsocial murderâ (great job appropriating the term btw) to show anything less than full and total uncritical and unconditional support.
