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The part that's missing from a lot of tumblr-centric discourse on transmisogyny is really that stuff like "medical transition is conformist" didn't come from here, it's all runoffs from weird cis people in academia imagining a version of transness to get mad at.
The archetypal "transandrobro" is literally just saying shit transmisogynists in queer theory have been saying for decades but dressing it up in more fandom-digestible language. It's not new. They're not innovating.
It happens occasionally that some major trans public figure will hear about the Tumblr manifestation of this issue and say something like "this seems unimportant," causing a lot of controversy.
A lot of people will rightly argue that these attitudes don't just show up online, that transmisogyny in queer spaces is a real issue.
The public figure has accurately pointed out that the random transmisogynists on tumblr are not a priority target for real heavy-hitters to take on, because they are not the source of these ideas, and not the ones empowered to make an impact with these ideas. They are downstream of bigger, more important targets.
Transfeminism defined in opposition to a specific, niche manifestation of transmisogyny will inevitably end up ineffective, because it expends a lot of effort fighting a symptom rather than the disease itself.
season 3 opens. baran al-hashimi is in a coma from the car crash she was in on her way home after season 2. victoria javadi comes down alongside caleb jefferson for a psych consult. he asks her three question and she answers all of them wrong. trinity santos suspects all her patients are abuse victims and is proven wrong every single time. mel and trinity communicate perfectly without a single misunderstanding. dennis whitaker is a senior resident for some reason. perlah and princess, it's explained in one line by james ogilvie who's the new ed intern, both quit. jack abbot is in every single episode because they needed a second attending for the shift after baran fell into that pesky coma. in the last episode he changes into his streetwear. he's wearing a blue lives matter shirt. frank langdon accidentally shuts down pittsburgh's electrical grid because he was trying to turn down the lights for an autistic patient. cassie mckay's every line starts with, "my son." parker ellis spends the whole season looking directly into the camera and explaining what characters really meant when they said that thing and don't worry, they all love each other.
To all of my peeps in California, Iām rlly wishing yāall the best with this primary in the governorās race. Iām praying the Republican candidate stays off the ballot & the race in November will be against two Democrats. I personally donāt like any of the candidates unfortunately & know Xavier Becerra is essentially a big corporate Dem sellout so we donāt want him in general, but geez there had to be another better candidate. Legit what happened in California? :( Also considering now that Gavin Newsom canāt run again for Governor, heād absolutely prepping to run for President in 2028 (if we make it that far), and I also donāt like that. Godspeed California. š«”
(no seriously someone pls tell me like did something fr happen in terms of the optics & candidates?? No democratic socialist? Nothing?)
Iām not trying to start anything nor do I want to keep bringing stuff up, but Iāll just say one thing and keep it pushing because thatās all you can do.
Over the years of being on online especially on my page, Iāve had a long history of being reactionary, of sticking my nose where it didnāt belong and being loud and wrong about many things. That, I can admit to. Iāve fucked up a handful of times, gotten jumped several other times, my inbox flooded in response to saying certain things or calling people out I had no business of talking about and being too impulsive with what Iāve said. Itās something that Iāve been practicing to unlearn by building better boundaries online & processing it all in therapy, which I have been doing since the summer of last year.
I know what Iāve said in the past, where, and to who. Iāve made apologies, both publicly and privately to the best of my ability, and Iāve received the proper response to things Iāve done or said when it wasnāt my place. Iāve hurt people. Iāve disrespected and disappointed others. Iāve been insensitive and downright cruel at times. I know that, Iām very well aware of that. Iāve acknowledged what Iāve done & handled things to the best of my ability, and all you can do sometimes is try to be better.
One of the hardest things Iāve had to learn & realize over the past year-ish is that it is easy to fall into the cycle of reactionary behavior & cyberstalking online when it comes to thinking youāre morally superior. Itās an addiction to the dopamine rush of trying to find something that would give you a reason to dislike another person. The psychology behind snark pages is really just the hive mind of finding community in hating the same people who you donāt know. Iāve both participated in that & had it happen to me. Itās really not until I got a little older (meaning hit 25) and really processed how harmful and hurtful it is, I didnāt realize how much it changes your brain & how you become damn near obsessed (like a compulsion) about fulfilling this fantasy of one-upping a literal stranger online in the name of āaccountabilityā. Itās not healthy behavior. Itās insane and itās toxic. I didnāt like who I turned into when I started doing that, I was the worst version of myself and I know that. All I can do is acknowledge that and unlearn those behaviors, and one way of doing that is knowing when to shut the fuck up and mind the business that pays me. The internet is a very cruel place, itās easy to get sucked into that with the way fandom & stan culture operates nowadays, and Iāve unfortunately been both a perpetrator and a victim of that.
So truthfully, now that I understand that, I donāt get why people continue to watch my every move and have been doing so for more than a year from a fandom community Iām not longer a part of. I get thereās a handful of you who donāt like me, which is fine and well within your right online, but I know that no matter what I say or what I do on my own page despite me blocking you, my words will get twisted around & it will never satisfy this need you have to punish me for things Iāve already acknowledged or addressed in my own way. I donāt have to take accountability about certain situations in a way YOU personally want me to when you donāt fucking know me. Youāre the same group of people calling me a literal pedophile or pedophile apologist for liking daddy kink and continuously micro-analyzing every interaction and post I have on my page to confirm an assumption youāve already made about me in your own head.
Seriously, what else do you want from me? To get on my hands and knees and beg for forgiveness from strangers who think Iām a creep in the name of appeasing you? You guys donāt think thatās a bit ridiculous? Itās damned if you do, damned if you donāt. I can give you hundreds of explanations and nothing I say or do will be good enough because you canāt fully monitor my behavior online. You canāt see the changes from your āaccountabilityā in action when you donāt see me in person. And why put yourselves into such a position of importance and say YOU are the ones that need to tell me what to do, how to respond, how to act, etc.
There has to be something better for you to do than to make me the topic of conversation for weeks when you find something new to use until you find the next person you want to dogpile. Do something else & keep me out of it. Please, just leave me alone.
When changing yourself is terrifying and hard and change means destroying your current self so you want to stay the same and the person who is meant to help change you says you can but never changing is only remembering worse and worse each time and it destroys you in a different way
do not forget the patron saint of these weeks that we celebrate ourselves proudly and openly in the streets
her name was Marsha P Johnson, and we have her to thank for so much.
remember, the first Pride was a riot, and she was one of the brave souls who endured it to help carve the path which so many of us walk today. she helped found several activist groups regarding LGBT safety and wellbeing. and she was absolutely radiant, too.
