Zeus: We need to talk about Percy Jackson's love life.
Aphrodite: I SWEAR I BARELY CONSIDERED MAKING THALIA FALL FOR HIM AND IT WAS FOR THE LOLZ—
Poseidon: We're not here about his straight love life, we're here about his gay one.
Aphrodite: Oh! What about it?
Poseidon: Your aware that Percy happens to share an uncanny resemblance to our mother correct?
Aphrodite: Everyone's aware of that.
Zeus: You keep making him fall for men who look like Kronos and it needs to fucking stop.
Aphrodite: I do not!
Poseidon: Oh really! What about his bi awakening? Luke Castellan?
Aphrodite: ...That's just one—
Zeus: My son, Jason?
Aphrodite: I'd describe what they've got going on as more of a bromance—?
Poseidon: Fucking Apollo?
Aphrodite: Okay that's all on cow boy! You can't pin Sunny D's flirting on me!
Poseidon: Don't worry, I've had a "talk" with him too!
Zeus: What do you mean by—?
Poseidon: Off topic! There was also that mortal from the coffee shop!
Aphrodite: Oh that was just a puppy crush!
Zeus: Doesn't matter! You keep setting up our mother's mini me with Kronos' mini mes and it's gotta stop! Do you know how disturbing that shit is!?
Poseidon: Plus I don't want my son fucking a tiny version of my father! Our family tree may be a wreath but there are some lines that don't need to be crossed!
Aphrodite: Fine! I'll try to stop setting him up with Kronos clones! It's gonna be really hard though—that boy has a thing for tall blonde men!
i could (and am) write an entire thesis on blanc's mommy issues, stemming from two lines that are never brought up again in one family friendly whodunit.
"my mother is - was very, very religious" and (in response to "were you close with her") "no. when i was a boy, we - but it's... complicated."
these are load bearing sentences. the trip up over the is vs was is perhaps the most obvious, or the most talked about that i've seen; implying she recently passed. obviously this, coupled with the fact that she was religious and blanc is currently standing in a church and talking to a priest, would bring up a lot of emotions.
then the fact that he was close with his mother when he was a child, but their relationship got complicated as he grew older and, in all likelihood, became an atheist and rejected her religion. so, as he stands in a church, talking to a priest, those emotions that are brought up are likely very complicated as well.
you can infer so much from this very short snippet of a conversation. like was his mother okay with him being queer? probably not, at least to start, she would have probably found out sometime in the 80s or 90s and was a religious woman from the south. not known for their progressive beliefs. when did he declare his atheism? his queer identity? was he still living at home? how were these taken? did his mother kick him out?
i would guess that either a) she started out disapproving of his "lifestyle" but eventually came around to the fact that it wasn't going to change, if nothing else or b) the complication comes from happy childhood memories tinged with the bitterness of knowing she disapproved of him once he started being his own person.
i would like to pick daniel craig's brain about this bit because i know he's thought about it unlike that bastard rian
thinking about how a pretty core aspect of jud and blanc's relationship, at least in the movie, is that they have to potential to catastrophically hurt each other.
blanc could decide that jud isn't innocent after all. blanc knows that he won't because he knows jud is innocent, but jud doesn't have any real reason to believe blanc will stay this determined to prove his innocence. he could simply give up, tell geraldine that jud did it, and nobody would question it. however, jud "former street kid/murderer/addict/possibly sex worker" duplenticy is probably used to being viewed as A Bad Kid and blanc is so thoroughly sure that jud is not A Bad Kid that jud can't help but trust him and put his faith in him.
meanwhile, jud knocks blanc so off-kilter with his disarming personality and his painful earnestness that blanc can't keep him at arm's length. blanc cares about jud, and if jud turns out to be hostile to blanc's queerness or his godlessness or what have you it would be genuinely painful for blanc no matter how much he wants to pretend it wouldn't be. because at this point in his life he's probably managed to extricate himself from everybody who would take issue with his identity, but now he's fallen in with someone who works for Taking Issue With His Identity Central. and yet, jud never seems to be anything but kind and welcoming, and blanc eventually relaxes into that. jud never ends up rejecting blanc for anything about him.
they're both simultaneously putting their hearts in each other's hands and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
no one understands me when I talk about how much I miss my favorite tv show but no I cannot just rewatch it because I can’t look at the characters without my heart exploding out of my chest okay
for @percicomicrofic | prompt: tease | words: 602 | tags: smut, nico pining as it's me and i can't help myself, 'what if nico shadow travelling made percy cum' the microfic
"Nico."
He'd do anything, Nico would do anything, to produce the sound of his own name from those lips. A new addiction, instantly hooked, grasping tighter onto that piece of his chest that had held on since he'd first laid eyes on the man under his attention.
His own lips parted, forming a groan muffled into the warm skin, lost to a pull of teeth as blunt fingernails dug grooves into his lower back under his shirt.
How he'd got here, with Percy Jackson pushed against the back wall of Camp Half-Blood's Infirmary, Nico did not know. Well, he did but he was yet to process it. Didn't want to. That could be left, pushed so far down deep, only to be unearthed once Percy's body was no longer finally in his grasp.
Addiction didn't care for the aftermath of regret, only its next hit.
A roll of hips met with a gasp, a suck of skin releasing a curse to the Gods, hands that travelled lower, breached the boarder of shorts to produce a needy beg.
Not enough. He needed more, a craving not yet discovered its satisfaction.
Anything.
Hands reached higher, the warm touch grasping, pushing Nico's shirt higher as his own lips continued to trail lower until they met orange cotton.
Not enough.
As if their connection of bodies had connected their minds too, Percy's voice spoke above him, breathless and barely a whisper.
"If you continue I'm gonna-" Percy cut himself off as his head dropped and Nico caught the ocean in his gaze, "Your cabin or mine?"
Bait dangled in front of him and, with a forceful grasp of Percy's ass, a combined groan mixing between them at the contact, Nico scummed to his hunger with a familiar tug of his stomach.
A choked out gasp flooded his ears, the nails on his back grasped their hold, clinging on if Nico was a lifeline, and weight landed on his shoulder when Percy's forehead made contact as they materialized into darkness.
"Nico. Oh Gods- You-" The body in Nico's hold trembling into weakness. "Fuuckk. Nico."
That itching buzz settled, the gnawing need finally sedated and he allowed himself to fall. His back hit the door with a thud, Percy's weight following him, landing with a hiss from the other man.
An experimental roll, a repeat hiss and-
Damp.
"When I shadow travelled us, you-?"
"Shut up," a weak grumble muttered into his neck.
Oh.
He was expanding, overwhelm filling every pore of Nico's self. He needed control. He needed to plug it up before it spread around his heart and poisoned his emotions.
"Is that going to be a problem for our next Capture the Flag game?" Nico found his voice, surprisingly calm for the turmoil that rocked inside of him. "I'm not losing to Artemis' shitty Hunters because you can't control yourself."
Percy groaned then mumbled, "It was your fault."
Nico would deny the heat that flushed into his face at the sound of Percy's wrecked voice combined with the fact he'd been the one to cause it.
Weight slumped downwards, Nico's hands leaving their soft warmth as Percy dropped to his knees. The sea glazed over as Percy looked up through his lashes — such a pretty sight for a heart as weak as Nico's — before his head dipped forwards, nose nuzzling the outline of Nico's interested body.
The itch returned, a new hit to be discovered, a need he would would drown in until he submitted himself to the addiction of the man below him.
Eyelashes fluttered, the ocean behind them ready to drag him under.
It’s very important to me that people recognise that Jason Grace is a dork. He is the kind of person who thinks that dad jokes are hilarious and would fall over wheezing at a bad pun. He would attend a knitting group so he could get advice on how to knit the best jumper for his big sister. He exclusively hangs out with the outcasts. He doesn’t like to be in charge but people keep fucking shit up and he’s unfortunately one of the only sane people around. He would go to the ends of the earth to fulfil a pinkie promise.
Loling over the fact that all of botl Percy thought that Nico was searching for him and that he would be the sacrifice to bring Bianca back . and then is kinda offended when Nico is like fuck you you are not my sacrifice
i think it's very funny that when jud starts imitating blanc and being angry and assertive and defending his boundaries in the second act blanc is so pleased abt it like YES that's my boy that's my watson look at him go finally not letting ppl walk all over him y'all tremble before our combined investigative power!! and then jud turns around and stands up to BLANC and gets angry at BLANC and blanc is like ...uhhhh??? what is happening right now i am feeling attacked?? would you look at me when i'm talking to you?! is this clicker broken?!
I do love how the characters in wake up dead man are a lot more subtle with how awful they are. They're not the cartoonish evils of Glass Onion or the loud and chaotic old money evils of the first movie (which fit the vibe of their own movie). But the evil was more grounded. They were normal people that were radicalized by a man who used their bad sides to secure their undying loyalty. The incel behaviour is played for laughs, but it's also a sobering moment of ah, fuck these were just normal people before. They weren't rich. They weren't powerful. They were vulnerable. And easily manipulated.
something something glass onion being set on a greek island, andi's full name being cassandra, like the trojan princess who prophesied the fall of troy, but whom no one ever listened to, and her sister being named helen, like the greek princess who actually ignited the war and brought about the fall of troy in the end
10/10 best part of nico's narration is when he talks about the first time he met percy, and he makes it sound like percy was really confident and brave and knew what he was doing in those scenes, but then you reread the same scenes from percy's perspective and see that. that boy was an Anxious fucking Mess. "but percy came out of the shadows and saved me & my sister!!! 🤩" Percy forgot to tell the rest of his questmates where he was going, spent the entire time fretting about how he was going to get yelled at by thalia after this, almost dropped his weapon, insulted the monster attacking you and your sister like 3 times in one sentence, and tried to convince you guys to jump into the ocean with him in a last-minute escape attempt because he forgot you guys didn't know he was a half-blood and would obviously assume he was trying to get you killed. he really had no idea what he was doing, bless his heart my favorite fumbling eighth grader ever