okay i loved scavengers reign

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okay i loved scavengers reign
what if on Taskmaster one of the contestants died in the middle of filming a task but after doing enough of the task for it to be deemed complete so since there was nothing in the rules to say you had to be alive throughout they allowed it. & then all the other contestants bombed so badly that the dead person won the task and in the studio Greg was there like 'wow you all managed to do worse than Christine and she was dead for most of it'
they don't sub in a replacement contestant for the studio shows so one of the chairs is just empty and sometimes when contestants are arguing their case on something they're like 'I think if Christine was still with us she'd take my side' and Greg would be like 'for fuck's sake stop bringing up Christine'
also everyone (Greg included) would dunk on Alex for 'killing Christine' with the task and Alex would keep nervously laughing it off and be like 'legally speaking we weren't responsible for what happened to Christine'
the interstitials for the season occasionally feature randomly inserted shots of Christine's lifeless body lying on the ground
obviously it would already have been announced that Christine died filming Taskmaster but during the show they wouldn't say which task it happened in so every time there's a Christine segment it'd be like is this the one where she died 🤔 let's watch and find out
It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.
Time for the annual Pride Month reblog of Freddie Mercury and his fabulous cats!
As a Greek, in response to the current controversy about Matt Damon being cast as Odysseus, I'd just like to share that one of the moments that changed my brain chemistry as a kid was reading a novelized version of the Odyssey and coming across the following description of Odysseus when Circe sees him for the first time and thinks he's hot: "his hair curled like a clematis and his eyes were very brown".
So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:
Excuse me???
you are right and you should say it.
Is this the face of a man who would put his own infant in front of a plow to avoid going to war?
Absolutely not
You know who would try that shit?
Is this the face of a man who would defy the very gods to get home to his wife?
You know who would defy the gods just to show he could get away with it?
The last thing Penelope's suitors ever see:
AND HE'S GREEK!!!!
it really is fucking pathetic that a country with more guns than people can't hit one guy
if this is how you found out there was an active shooter at the White House yesterday I'm sorry
Me: oh it's this post again. Wait. Why does it say "posted 37 minutes ago"
Also, in my ideal Arthurian legend TV show, Merlin continues his literary tradition of appearing as a man of any age. Some episodes he is the traditional bearded wizard and some episodes he is an edgy middle school aged kid. Sometimes he’s an animal. Same guy, just likes to mix things up with his corporal form to piss everyone off. Also, he periodically lets out an ominous maniacal cackle, often triggered by something ironic that will foreshadow later events.
"Merlin, are you a kid that shifts into an old man, an old man tha shifts into animals, or an animal that shifts into a kid?"
Arthur accidentally lets it slip Merlin is actually middle aged and he picks between his wizened elderly wizard and smart ass kid forms depending on how he’s feeling. Everyone has been assuming he’s old because he looks old or old because wizards age backwards and he looks young. He’s not. He was younger than Uther. He’s like 47.
when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.
this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine
"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."
#you gotta be more specific man#Hobbits are specifically famous for two Really Long Walks
Long Walks Georgs were outliers adn should not have been counted
A beautiful first of May to you all!
Please disregard any hunting horns, unearthly voices, or inexplicable feelings of yearning coming from the nearby woods~
Me, a forest-loving Margaret:
Janet: Yeah, so I went to pick roses in the woods and was seduced by a changeling fairy knight and he got me pregnant, but I told him I sure as hell wasn’t having his baby without him around to care for it. So I stole him from the Fairy Queen and married him.
Margaret: I wandered into faerie woods too! Ended up bespelled by an elf lord and had seven children with him. But eventually the oldest freed me from my trance, so I ran back home with them and had my father burn the woodland down.
Isabel: Good on you! I was charmed away from home by an elf knight blowing on his horn, but he tried to kill me. So I tricked him and stabbed him to death with his own dagger.
Janet: …so Tam Lin and me are still looking for godparents for our second and third, how about it?
The farmer watched the baker put the finishing touches to her beautiful chalk calligraphy on the blackboard sign outside her shop:
Freshly baked rolls from fairy-husked spelt
“They’re not fairies though,” she pointed out. “They’re mice.”
The baker looked askance at her. “they’re mice with wings, which is basically the same thing.”
“It is not,” she protested, but she was pointedly ignored.
“There,” the baker said contentedly, wiping her hands and adding some chalk stains to the floury handprints on her apron. “Mark my words, they’ll be sold out before the morning’s over. They always are.”
“Of course they will,” the farmer said disapprovingly. “But your bread is too good for you to have to stoop to false advertising.”
This was a complicated piece of accusatory flattery and there was a brief silence before the baker replied:
“It is not false advertising.”
“It is too! And why say anything about the husking at all? It doesn't say ‘kelpie-ploughed field’ either does it?”
“No,” the baker replied dryly. “Because that would give rise to question about animal welfare.”
The farmer scrunched up her nose. “He knows what he did. When his year and a day are up I'll let him go.”
The baker rolled her eyes and made no further comment, but she immediately regretted it, because all she gained was an immediate return to the argument.
“But why not just take it away instead of being inaccurate?” the farmer insisted.
“Because I’ve been advertising them this way from the start! It would look odd if I changed it now, not to say suspicious.”
“Well then—”
“Did you or did you not win these magical mice from the queen of Faerie?” the baker interrupted, in a tone she perhaps ought not to take with her best supplier.
“Yes…” was the reluctant answer.
“Then they are fairies,” she snapped.
“No,” the farmer snapped back, because that was exactly the sort of tone she did think she got to take with her best and oldest customer. “They are fairyland mice, so why not just call them that?”
“Because my customers won't want to eat bread made by mice!” the baker burst out.
The farmer stood looking at her for a moment with her arms crossed, before giving a dignified huff and resolutely turning her back on the blackboard. “Your customers are wrong.”
evil great lakes
lake inferior
lake normal
lake offtario
lake hurton
lake michigan
Welcome to the theatre! Tonight, I will be performing for you various solo staged excerpts of Finnegans Wake by James Joyce. It’ll be great, you’ll see. It’ll—I wouldn’t do that, if I were you, sir. That door is locked very securely, and even if you got through, the sniper would get you instantly. That’s it, sit right back down. Good man. riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay…
harry peglar’s corpse be like
what's up gamers. i took a potion from a cackling witch and have become an even-toed ungulate
I love when a meme gets so many steps away from its source material that it would be completely incomprehensible if I didn't know what today's date was
just got kicked out of the omelas DEI office for asking why there are no former torture kids on the board
they told me they had a "lived experience" subcommittee but it was just the torture kids' parents. tf.