The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (via holinessblog)
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Kiana Khansmith

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art blog(derogatory)

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Three Goblin Art
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Claire Keane

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@paludosa
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (via holinessblog)
too much love inside me disorder
O, I AM FORTUNE'S FOOL!
i. hereditary (2018) / ii. ophelia / iii. the oresteia / iv. wolf in white van / v. antigone / vi. romeo + juliet (1996) by @rocktheholygrail / vii. rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead / viii. hereditary (2018) / iv. hadestown (2019)
Darkest waters
Did you forget? Love is patient!
— Rainer Maria Rilke
Snape is so physically non violent it's honestly kind of weird, considering how nasty he can be verbally. He's by some distance the nastiest Hogwarts teacher in the classroom (I'm ignoring some of the DADA outliers), but at the same time he's by far the most responsible in terms of student safety and appropriate punishments. He's one of the very few who never endangers them in some manner, and the one who most goes out of his way to protect them. I wonder why that is. With Harry it's fairly simple to see why, given that he sees him as James yet has promised to protect him. With other students it isn't so simple.
He's surprisingly non-violent in other respects as well. This suggests that his non-violence (or rather, his aversion to physical violence) is a personality characteristic, not just something he intentionally strives for as a “responsible” adult (/sarcasm).
He could have been a notorious Death Eater with his skill in dueling and spell-creation, but he wasn't. Sirius didn't know he was a DE, Karkaroff didn't accuse him of any specific violent crime, Bellatrix accuses him of deliberately avoiding the action, and he didn’t kill anyone before Dumbledore. He was relegated to being a spy at Hogwarts by Voldemort, which meant he probably had a relatively clean record (and imo, I don't think Snape revealed the full extents of his talents to Voldemort in the First War).
In PoA, he restrains Lupin without physically hurting him in the Shack, despite thinking he's working with Sirius. He threatens to give Lupin and Sirius to the Dementors, but when given the chance to do that when Sirius is unconscious, he takes him and the Trio back to Hogwarts (he does want Sirius Kissed, but he also wants Dumbledore's and the Minister's approval). Compare that with Sirius and Remus, who were going to kill Peter in cold blood in front of three teenagers, even though Peter's testimony could clear Sirius.
In OOtP, when he and Sirius are arguing, Sirius draws his wand out first.
IIRC, there are only three times we see Snape using magic to hurt someone potentially seriously. 1) During SWM when he cuts James's cheek. This was self-defense after he'd already been ganged up on, hung upside-down, and choked with soap. SWM also happened after the Prank, so he thought Sirius (and James) meant to kill him. 2) Avada to kill Dumbledore. This was a mercy kill. 3) Sectumsempra, aimed at a DE but accidently hit Fred. This was him trying to protect Lupin. Dropping the branch on Petunia was accidental magic, he only used Expelliarmus (as opposed to something nasty) to knock down Lockheart, he only gives Harry a magical bitch-slap when Harry's stupidly chasing after him and the other DEs in HBP, and during his fight with McGonagall he was trying not to hurt her.
He's not just non-violent, he's non-violent compared to other "good" characters even when he has the ample opportunity (and probably the desire) to be violent. He invented hexes as a teenager, but no one (not Lily, James, Sirius, or Remus) ever accuses him of hexing people for fun like James does, and he's not on the detention cards either. He probably did use his hexes against the Marauders, but as self-defense when they attacked him first.
He was the victim of extreme physical bullying courtesy of the Marauders, his dad likely physically abused him and his mother, and he's surrounded by DEs who get tortured as punishment by Voldemort and also torture/murder their victims.
As others have said on this post, I think on some level he might be averse to physical violence because of his experiences. This doesn't necessarily have to be as a moral viewpoint (although that's probably part of it), but witnessing physical violence might have a triggering effect on him. He's also indirectly responsible for getting James and Lily killed and was a Death Eater, so he knows the guilt that comes from that. It could be that he doesn't want to knowingly endanger/seriously physically hurt anyone else and have that on his conscience as well.
This is an excellent addition.
He teaches Harry (and everyone at the dueling club) the ultimate nonviolent spell - Expelliarmus.
I remember noticing immediately that in his brief duel with McGonagall in Deathly Hallows he is specifically portrayed as fighting defensively. He uses spells she can easily manage but which keep her busy long enough for him to escape.
It's also worth noting that although he personally developed sectumsempra as an incredibly violent spell, he doesn't appear to have shared it with anyone else and only canonically uses it once with the intention of hitting a DE.
He is capable of incredible violence, and perhaps an urge toward it is what led him to the DE in the first place and also inspired him to invent sectumsempra. But despite his capability for it and the evident temptation, he chooses non-violence.
It says a lot about his inner character IMO.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.
“Appropriate enrichment and husbandry” is also available if you’re animal rather than machine inclined.
― Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous
“I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Madman
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own
“All freedom is relative—you know too well—and sometimes it’s no freedom at all, but simply the cage widening far away from you, the bars abstracted with distance but still there, as when they “free” wild animals into nature preserves only to contain them yet again by larger borders. But I took it anyway, that widening. Because sometimes not seeing the bars is enough”
― Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous
― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”
― Toni Morrison, Beloved
― Jean-Paul Sartre
The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom.
― Maya Angelou, The Complete Collected Poems
― Franz Kafka, Amerika
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
― Viktor E. Frankl
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
“Freedom is the will to be responsible for ourselves.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols
― E.B. White, The Trumpet of the Swan
“This tremendous world I have inside of me. How to free myself, and this world, without tearing myself to pieces. And rather tear myself to a thousand pieces than be buried with this world within me.”
― Kafka Franz, Diaries, 1910-1923
― John Fowles, The French Lieutenant’s Woman
“And I want to be held down. I don’t know what to do with the horrifying freedom that can destroy me.”
― Clarice Lispector, The Passion According to G.H.
― Franz Kafka
honestly my experience as a trans man who doesn’t pass (and probably never will tbh) has very much been one of falling through the cracks. oftentimes i’ll be dealing with large mainly cis organizations with deeply ingrained transphobia who don’t see me as a man at all but as a woman who is failing at being a woman. naturally they aren’t thrilled about this so i deal with a lot of misogyny for that reason. but then i go to activist/advocacy orgs for support dealing with that kind of treatment and in a weird attempt to affirm my gender they’re like “actually you’re a man so you don’t deal with gendered discrimination”. this specific situation - powerful institutions seeing me as “confused woman” vs. activist communities seeing me as “privileged man” creates this catch 22 where i am never properly supported by either of them and left to fend for myself. this is also why the whole “women and nonbinary people” thing weirds me out so much because it implies that if i just IDed as nonbinary rather than as a trans man and kept everything else the exact same suddenly this discrimination would be gender based.
anyway. oppression is a nuanced thing and i think it’s important to listen to trans men about our experiences.
tbh i hate the whole “women and nonbinary people” thing bc it feels like a way of saying that we are just “women lite” if we’re neutral/feminine. if we’re masculine + nonbinary the experience is closer to binary trans men in these situations
Yeah, the “women and nonbinary people” thing is jucky. I’ve also found that can create spaces where non-binary people and trans women who are currently perceived by society as cis men are not welcome either or where people with ‘masculine’ looking bodies are pressured to perform femininity to prove that they belong.
About the original post: I know more than one trans man - often someone who either could not pass or did not want the physical changes required to pass - who felt pressure to start identifying as non-binary just so the trans community would accept that their experiences of sexism and misogyny are real experiences. And that’s really not right.
Favourite works of literary theory?
“Against Interpretation” by Susan Sontag
“Against Decoration” by Mary Karr
“The System and the Speaking Subject” by Julia Kristeva
“Word, Dialogue, and Novel” by Julia Kristeva
“Walter Pater’s Eucharist” by Benjamin Taylor
Conclusion to The Renaissance, Walter Pater
“On Beauty and Being Just” Elaine Scarry
“Transmission & the Individual Remix” by Tom McCarthy
“The Laugh of the Medusa” by Helene Cixous
“Sesame: Of Kings’ Treasuries” by John Ruskin
“The Nature of the Gothic” by John Ruskin
“Tradition and Individual Talent” by T.S. Eliot
“Days of Reading” by Marcel Proust
“E Unibus Pluram: Television and US Fiction” by David Foster Wallace
“The Art of Fiction” by Henry James
The Pound Era by Hugh Kenner
Real Presences by George Steiner
The Art of the Novel by Milan Kundera
The Art of Recklessness: Poetry as Assertive Force and Contradiction
Heroines by Kate Zambreno
Literary Women by Ellen Moers
she guessed my favorite color first try..
but between me and u……. i didnt even have a favorite color until she yelled out yellow!! she was hella excited n smiling like a little kid. so i told her she was right and i havent seen yellow the same since, its in everything. i could probably live in it now.
thinking of when vincent van gogh said that “poverty stops the best minds in their tracks” and how art would see a new era if we funded struggling independent artists instead of hiring talentless nepotism babies.
Gratitude - Tidying Up With Marie Kondo (2019)
I know people make a lot of fun of Marie Kondo, but I felt like her book was the first organizational guide I’ve ever read that acknowledged people having an emotional attachment to possessions as natural and healthy, instead of telling you you’re an awful person for feeling sad over objects.