the penguins made me do it @ultimate-penguin - Tumblr Blog

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”

lolodapsycho-deactivated2017030

HOLY SHIT

mamoru

one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself.

my classmates went dead silent and after the sub’s laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me

silver-rayn123-deactivated20181

I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done.

Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my ‘fear of public speaking’ and how she’s heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don’t really member them). By then im in tears and on the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he’d never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and I couldn’t help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him. The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn’t teaching anymore. Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn’t really speak. We’ve been best friends for 8 years and i’ll be his best woman at his wedding next year. The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn’t scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life.

quixylvre

When I was thirteen, I had to have spinal surgery. When my doctor said I was allowed to attend school again, he said I had to use a wheelchair when on school grounds. My first day back at school, my special-ed teacher had put up a banner in her classroom that read, “There is no elevator to success. You must take the stairs.” I asked what that meant regarding my wheelchair, and she gave me detention for “disrespecting her authority”. The next week she gave us a homework assignment to design a poster that could potentially be used as a Public Service Advertisement. On the due-date, I handed this in.

My special-ed teacher was fucking OUTRAGED. She wanted me expelled for ridiculing her authority in front of the other students. The principal proclaimed my work to be “a masterpiece of satirical genius” and vetoed the special-ed teacher’s attempt to expel me.

chaotic-carnifex

Reblogging this post yet again, this time for the masterpiece of satirical genius. Hope the teacher got in trouble.

monstermonger

Spring omen.

celinethefeline

justcatposts

Stray cat breaks into Lynx’s enclosure at zoo

(Source)

cathartidae

while the stray cat story may have circulated in 2020 and 2022, this story is actually from the Leningrad Zoo in 2014. (here's the original russian article as well.)

these two felines were introduced at 6 weeks old in order to give more enrichment for the lynx and for education purposes, however they got along fantastically from the start and were eventually moved to permanently live with one another.

a much less exciting story, but a much cuter one as well.

(source, source)

kazama-yuno-deactivated20241119

Elisabeth & Der Tod Takarazuka Revue, 1996 | Vienna, 1992 (inspo)

datarep

Average from a million frames of Last Week Tonight

daggers-drawn

John Oliver trying to communicate through my dreams to warn me about the oncoming apocalypse.

blamensir

bacchanal linocut dec2023

demilypyro

Ok wait let her speak

dontbeanass-deactivated20240801

Please give evidence beyond “I hate them” or “I like sleeping in” or “I have to get up early”, none of which is actual evidence

Signed

an actual morning person

princecharmingtobe

Night person who needs to see a doctor/get your car worked on/go to the bank/buy groceries, etc? You're gonna have to sacrifice sleep for it. Because for some reason it was decided that most places of business should open in the morning and close in the evening. Fewer and fewer places are 24/7. Wanna go for a nice stroll in the park? Tough shit, they close at sundown. Hell, want to just go for a walk in general? Fair chance of being harassed by the cops because being out and about in the dark is "suspicious" behavior. Want something that's not fast food and don't want to/can't cook for yourself? Best we can do is a diner like Denny's or IHOP. Got a loved one in the hospital you want to visit between work and sleep? Either gotta get up early or stay up late to meet visiting hours.

And let's not forget, no matter how little you actually sleep and how much you actually get done, if you're not awake during certain hours it means you're a lazy good-for-nothing. Express a desire for more places open 24/7? Selfish and entitled. Complain about how noisy your neighbors are during your sleep hours? Well you can't expect the world to tiptoe around you. But also you'd better keep it down at night because other people are sleeping!

But don't worry! There are plenty of guides on how to "fix" your sleep schedule out there! You just have to follow a strict, often disruptive routine that you can never stray from even a little or else you'll fall back to your natural sleep schedule lazy, undisciplined ways.

doomhamster

And at that, good luck finding a job that doesn't expect you to be in by 9 AM at the latest. Which means getting up at 7:30 AM at the latest, earlier if you have a commute. Which means getting to bed at 11:30 PM at the latest.

Which means night owls have a straight choice between self-employment/freelance work, with all its insecurities, or constant self-torture. (Oh yeah, sleep deprivation does count as torture, per the UN.)

cerasifera

elisabeth!

writing-prompt-s

Your father planted a tree and said, ‘As long as this tree is alive and healthy, so is my son.’ That was 200 years ago. Today, the tree still stands, defying time, but what of the son?

mazamba

Tips to Fatherly Wizards: When binding the soul of a child to a tree, PLEASE don’t pick a redwood.

At two hundred years old, the stupid tree is now at less than a tenth of its lifespan. Thanks to the binding, so am I.

I was a baby for decades, and have been a child for over a century. Do you know how humiliating it is to need diapers in your twenties? It’s not fun.

Obviously dating is out of the question. I may look like a child, and it could be argued that my mind matches, but I’m still older than most of the town.

Besides, girls are icky.

The silver lining, if you can call it that, is the house. My Father’s house maintains itself and the various golems and homunculi that manage the property take care of the grounds.

It can get lonely though.

I’m pretty sure my slang is a little outdated too, or at least that’s the impression I got when no one knew what “fetch” meant last time I went outside.

It’s a lonely 23rd century.