Untitled

[oneday-dream0o]

summer is right around the corner!

[paneraissoyum]

day 4

hey guys sorry for not typing my day away yesterday. i was so tired. though i relapsed again ugh and my crush was so close to me omg when he walks hes like scraping ur side and omg when he wants to tell u somth he gets so close and whispera in ur ear. ugh hes so cute. anyways, today someone got him the valintines day grams and he was asking if i got it for him i said no cuz obviously not im too scared and we still dont know who got it for him. we think its this girl that solder than us and she rejected him twice so idk who gave him the rose we asked EVERYONE. omg anywasys my friend felt sick and left early so i was taking my etst without that hoe. jkjk i love her shes my bsff. Omg that crappy old orchestra teacher FINALLY left but my original one is such a melenial BAHAH its so funny she takes pictures of her daighter with filters and make her stick her toung out. so cute. omg tmrw thsre is an ice protest but its in 1st persiod which is my heart direction day so i cant go. sorry guys im jut so ecited to disect a heart. ik i sound INSANE but its so funfufufnffufn but im scared cuz we need to pull our sleeves or wear a t-shirt AND i dont want others to see my arms cuz obviously i have friends in that class who are really loud and an overly caring teacher. i also had after school rehersal for orchestra but idk if i said that already. anyways peace guys

[paneraissoyum]

Helo Helloooo what is up guys day 2 over here!!! uhm so i kinda failed my bio unretakable quiz but like its okayyyy cuz im good and then i have flipping Bio med so i go there and my dumb ahh teacher is never here. guys we are supposed to be disecting a heart by Friday like common get it together. anyways but like all if good cuz i interacted with my crush so much today like yeyeyyeayayyaay and then my friend got mad at me cuz "i talk too much" like damn girl im sorry. okay but tehn i go to my orchestrq class. last day of the annoying sub that came for my teachers maternity leave. like i kove her and all but she just so rude for like no reason like today in class she was like "does she ever be quiet" like dang girl im sorry. like i dont even mean to talk alot i just want to get stuff off my mind. people call me loud. and say i talk allt but a few years back i wouldnt talk to anyone. i was so lonely. but then again no one acctulaly listens to me. like ik i talk too much its an insicurity that yall dont have to keep pushing. and we were walking to the class and my friend that twas already mad at me i was trying to mkae her happy and smile cuz yk thats what i like to do and i was joking and say that like imma become depressed and stop talking to everyone. which isnt a joke dont come for me im sorry but to the grup thats how we joke. anyways i laugh and she goes "yeah cut yourself again too" my jaw dropped and i laughed but it took so much of me to not burst out crying because i had just relaped the day before. ig no one knows what your going through all the time. it makes me so mad but like i said before i interacted with the guy ive liked sinse forever. him and i are really close and hes so cute and sweet. and he has been raised so right. i do talk alot omg im so sorry im lokey basing this diary just on my brain like im genuenly typing what is comming to my brain. okay then after school i went to wegmans finished my work then got bord. i was looking through hair products then i reach the horrid razpr section. im tryng to walk past cuz i never find good blades and then i see it 1:99 for a dubble sided razor blade with 10 inside. i look at it then look at other things but then i whip back and take it. then i go get an energy drink cuz awkward asf if a 15 year old girl goes to a guy working their not much older and probably goes to my school seeing me buy blades. OH MY GOD then thatnk GOD i found an older lady checking people out and i dont think she noticed or anything seh was so sweet. i wrote sm omg please i love yall follow and like my blog! i sound like a youtuber from lik e2016 lmaooo

[ultimatelustforlife]

𐙚⋆.˚

[paneraissoyum]

Hello

so ig its nice to introduce myself before getting into my day. my name is Ayat I am 15 years old and I am so bord with my life so im going to start blogging online because each time i journal my father and mum find it and read through it. they dont know about tumblr soo... heres my day

hey guys so i lokey relapsed after like 47 days i believe? i relapsed yesterday and i diddnt mean to usually when i want to cut but dont want to leave a mark i take my blade and then i press rlly hard on my arm. but ig this time the blade i used was too sharp and it cut my arm. Im so mad cuz im supposed to wear a dress in a week and its like a uniform and people will see. and people at school think of me like someone to come and vent to and i enjoy helping others because i want to be a therapist when i grow older so like i dont want my friends to stop venting because i need help. Also, i cannot wait to start fasting cuz im finally going to loose the weight. And i dont want to go to school tmrw litterally just kms. anyways imma treat tthis like a personal diary so yea! i also made dubi chocolate for the fisrt time and its acctually not that bad. anyways i need to go study for my tests that are tmrw cuz i desided to procatinate. hopefully i dont relapse again! bye guys!!!

[ims0scared]

How it feels to cut youself while your parents are not ignorant/abusive or controlling but actually sweethearts and u have an amazing realtionship so i dom't really understand what's my fucking problem

[hadalpelagiic]

m.....getme a razor blade..... and/..... a boxcutter.....mm.......,.,,an.d..... gget me some bandaids.....a nd... a monster..... and... cute thigh highs..... and ..... some other things too ....

[flowersfromunderground]

[ribb0ngirl]

creds: alli_xoxo4444

[cinamqnr0ll]

[hofthehollywoodsign]

second semester core

[diaryofarottingirl]