[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

[alettertofutureme]

History is not done with us yet my friend

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

[krismasdreemurr00]

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

please reblog this until i find my true love. i am so alone

[tables-but-with-a-very-long-name]

Made it poly friendly

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

oh hell yeah even better

[courtjester69420]

Made one for aromantic trans people 👍

[queen-mihai]

Reblogging for poly people, mono people, and people who need their keys

[sassyphantomkoala]

Thank you for reminding me of my privilege, by helping me remember that as an allo person I never lost my keys.

[kosmogrl]

[dailynarnia]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[helloitsbees]

happy pride month to this post specifically

[ororium-z]

Happy Pride!

[rootbeergoddess]

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

[thesaltofcarthage]

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

[sunderwight]

There's an AU in my head where Shen Yuan reads MDZS instead of PIDW (he doesn't realize it's danmei at first, or frankly until way later into it than most people would have), and ends up transmigrating into Madam Yu when he dies.

And like, he definitely hated Madam Yu just as much as he hated Shen Qingqiu on first read, but whereas Shen Yuan found Yue Qingyuan to be a reasonably cool guy, he thinks Jiang Fengmian is a major loser. With Yue Qingyuan there was some ambiguity as to why he let Shen Qingqiu run roughshod over him, plus he was a legendarily cool Sword Guy who famously sealed away the last demon emperor, even if PIDW never really gave him a chance to show off his skills in the story itself. But with Jiang Fengmian, he's just letting his wife terrorize everyone out of guilt over an old flame? Like not even a major transgression? Just that he liked someone else before he married her? And he's not even a strong cultivator!

Shen Yuan doesn't hate him or anything, but he's not interested in mending fences when he transmigrates either. He's perfectly happy to live in Madam Yu's separate house in the same compound, and immediately focus efforts on trying not to fuck those kids up so bad and also prevent his character's horrifying death. His chief annoyance is that he didn't transmigrate in sooner -- Wei Wuxian has already been brought into the family! And mistreated by the madam for a few years! Plus, Shen Yuan has to break the stupid OOC lock before he can stop outwardly treating that kid like trash.

But eventually he gets a mission to take the kids on a night hunt. He takes both boys plus Yanli along, because his system doesn't specify which kids, and having been a chronically ill kid in his past life he feels like it would just be mean to exclude Yanli if she's not having an actual flare up.

The skinner demon quest is actually pretty much the same as in PIDW. There's a rash of mysterious murders, and the cause turns out to be a malevolent ghost that has been possessing young women and wearing out their bodies with resentful energy until they literally fall apart. The main difference is that the skinner demon doesn't monologue, and the end confrontation is a lot more harrowing, and nobody gets tied up in fanservice ropes. Wei Wuxian helps Yu Ziyuan rescue Jiang Yanli, and Shen Yuan unlocks OOC mode and is finally able to start being nice to the protagonist.

He's also able to start doing things like change the training regimes for the Jiang sect disciples, offer constructive criticism (instead of just berating them), throw out all of the disciple whips, and dole out head pats and even the occasional hug (these kids are seriously touch-starved).

Further thoughts:

-He's gonna accidentally mess Jiang Cheng up worse in some respects, I think. Like in canon Jiang Cheng could at least console himself that even if his father didn't like him, his mother definitely preferred him to Wei Wuxian. Shen "blatantly picks favorites" Yuan is not going to offer that anymore, even if he is still going to be nice to and fond of Jiang Cheng.

-SY's internalized homophobia will manifest in whatever way is funniest, as per the laws governing his existence. I think he'd decide that he was going to be a helpful and tolerant Responsible Authority Figure about Wei Wuxian's unavoidable gayness. Thinking to himself, well, at least Lan Wangji's a respectable young man and pretty enough to be a woman. But given his own bad experiences with his sister's hardcore yaoi, plus wangxian's canonical cnc kink, he'd probably make it his mission to protect Wei Wuxian's dignity as the protagonist and health & safety as his own precious disciple by trying to encourage him to be a top. But like. Without ever actually mentioning sex either.

-Lots of metaphors that only convince Wei Wuxian that Madam Yu is worried he'll let himself get stabbed for some reason? Meanwhile everyone else in the sect is increasingly convinced that part of the continuing marital discord between the sect leader and his wife is due to Jiang Fengmian sucking in bed.

-The plot gets further derailed when Shen Yuan interferes in the death of Sect Leader Nie (Mingjue and Huaisang's dad). I'm not sure if we have a concrete chronological time for that death, but if we do I'm changing it to happen around when Wei Wuxian is like 13/14. Shen Yuan attends the event where Wen Ruohan provokes Sect Leader Nie into a qi deviation by accident, and kind of considers it a tactical blunder on his part (Sect Leader Nie's death is part of what pushes the Nie sect immediately into the confrontation with the Wen -- if it doesn't happen, will they hold off longer? Will the sunshot campaign be more difficult to organize?), but he can't just sit there and watch this guy qi deviate to death either. He's been planning to try and do something about the Nie sabres anyway, so he decides to consider it a test run and intervenes.

-Nie Mingjue's dad is basically Liu Qingge. Nie Qingge? Anyway, Team Steal Madam Yu From Her Loser Husband gains its first active member!

-Shen Yuan also accidentally wifebeams Wen Ruohan. Second member.

[smolcaptainamericabobble]

I keep making these someone stop me

[anukfilli]

i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and

[therosielord]

This is exactly what trying to do normal stuff while having a depressive episode feels like

[cursedpossums]

unrestrained summer fun

[cursedpossums]

every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event

[obimomkenobi-deactivated2020062]

[kitchikishangout]

MY NAME, IS FRICKIN MOON MOON. I’D BE THE MOST IDIOTIC WOLF. ‘OH SHIT WHO BROUGHT FUCKING MOON MOON ALONG?’

[warmfigure]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[unlettered-heathen]

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[null-and-void-and-gone]

me when my disabilities disable me:

[fractally]

It is making me fucking crazy guys we literally went directly from “Shane is the girl he’s an anxious baby who cleans all the time” to “Ilya is the girl he’s a femme queen who says yaaaaaas”

Neither! Of! Them! Are! The! Girl!

That is the entire point!!!!!!!

[myshangel]

anyway i do think shane experiences his first depressive episode after the honeymoon. everything just sort of settles in him, the weight of it all and the voyageurs and the decade-long relationships he's lost, the fact that people are burning his jersey outside the arena, the loss of privacy and choice and agency. and suddenly he's just so heavy, and he can't eat and he can't sleep but at the same time he's not getting out of bed. he shakes like a leaf and has nightmares and doesn't even want to open the curtains because the light, he says, gives him a headache.

ilya is so fucking worried about him, because he still doesn't quite believe that depression can get anyone. in his mind, he's lazy and lacks self control and deserves the ugly, awful feelings that pin him to the mattress every other month. but shane is discipline personified, so structured and controlled that the fact he hasn't gotten out of bed for three days is enough to have ilya calling his parents and the team doctor and rose.

and then he crawls into bed with him at the end of the fourth day and kisses his shoulder and says please, sweetheart, why are you crying, what's wrong? what can I do? and for a second he thinks maybe, because shane rolls over to face him, cheeks all splotchy and eyes swollen and he looks so fucking sad, but at least he's looking at him.

but then shane says "I think you've made a really huge mistake," and Ilya's stomach drops through the fucking floor, because-- what? what mistake, what is he talking about?

shanes face crumples and he's sobbing again, words spilling out about how I've ruined your life, Ilya, you can never go home, you're tied to me now and I'm clearly fucking cursed or something, your career, everything, and soon you're gonna realise that and I don't know if I can take it, I've lost so much already, Ilya, they just threw me away. they were so happy that I was leaving. I built that fucking team.

and ilya doesn't interrupt, because he's never seen shane like this, and clearly he needs to get it off his chest. but he does pull him as close as possible and squeeze him and kiss his head and say it's okay, sweetheart, you could never ruin me, they did not deserve you, I love you, I love you, it'll be okay, you can cry, sweetheart, it's so much and you are so strong until his breaths even out and the sobbing subsides

and shane finally gets a full night of sleep, tucked up in his husband's arms, with promises that tomorrow they'll speak to terry together, and that things will be okay

[should-be-sleeping]

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌

[should-be-sleeping]

Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.

[should-be-sleeping]

I mean this with all due respect:

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.

You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.

[joanthreatt]

Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer

[slutdge]

"make an account to-"