shane on his knees sucking ilyaâs cock and coming in his pants before he can make ilya comeâŠ.. pathetic and whiney and ilya makes fun of him for being selfish :(
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shane on his knees sucking ilyaâs cock and coming in his pants before he can make ilya comeâŠ.. pathetic and whiney and ilya makes fun of him for being selfish :(
shane and jj rating the racist shit they hear on the ice. 6/10 okay that genuinely pissed me off. 1/10 yelling a slur takes no creativity no effort no pizzazz. booooo boring!!! 8/10 i broke a finger on your face for that one so i guess i have to give you points but also points off for being fucking evil. 4/10 okay i had to go to wikipedia for this one man, i actually didnt know that was a slur that existed??? damn
rookie and his captain
When Luca finds out Cliff's full name is Heathcliff, his brain is already spinning
After sex, in a similar fashion to Shane waking Ilya up at the cottage, Luca wakes Cliff up and is like
"Babe, babe, I have the perfect idea" and Cliff, still 90% asleep just "Hmm? Yeah, mhm's" his way through the whole conversation. He's trying to listen, but that man is a bear when he's asleep. Just hibernating.
A few days later, Luca excitedly is like "I found everything we'll need, they're gonna be perfect." and Cliff is confused and admits he was trying to listen to Luca that night, but he was still pretty asleep.
So while Luca is going through the explanation again with the biggest grin on his face, especially when he explains that Cliff should be Patrick because that was Heath's role and technically Cliff is Heath, Cliff can't help the massive smile and lifting his boyfriend on to the counter. "I'd love to be Patrick and Kat for Halloween."
At Bood's party, they walk in dressed in perfect replicas of the paintball scene (with the after clothes underneath). They even have the paint colours on the exact or closest to the exact spots on the clothes, their skin, their hair.
Eventually, when the jumpsuits come off and the party is hitting the karaoke hour, everyone assumes Cliff is drunk when he starts doing a as perfect (without being on a sports field) as he can replication of the "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" serenading scene.
However, Ilya, having been the recipient to many sober Cliff serenades is watching with a huge grin on his face. Shane, having heard Ilya's serenading stories is laughing at his husband having such a dork for one of his best friends. And Luca, having lived through many serenades at home from Cliff is just having the best time watching the love of his life.
Everyone sees a post-retirement Shane meltdown coming a mile away unless they find something to fill the hockey shaped hole in his brain, and someone casually throws out Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Shane figures well why not, canât hurt to go to one class and see how it feels
He goes in and immediately, day one, gets his ass absolutely handed to him. Slammed to the ground, choked out, beat to shit, no rest no mercy the entire time and he LOVES it. Getting pushed and tested, needing to figure out strategy, fully working his muscles and getting thrown around. He comes home bruised and sore and canât wait to go back
Ilya isnât super sure at first about his husband getting recreationally beat up, especially after going to a practice early on and getting nauseous from watching people choking Shane and purposely putting him in so much pain heâs forced to tap out. The spouse of another person at the gym says to wait a few months before trying to watch again
But after a while he starts regularly hearing Shane laughing and Anya happy barking from other parts of the house, and walking in to find the two playfully wrestling around. Or when they watch the Pike kids they all want turns to get flipped around and wrestled by uncle Shane
And then of course one day Shane texts Ilya saying he wants Ilya to help him learn a triangle submission, and he adds a winky face and Ilya is just ??? Ok? I guess? But then he looks one up and well. That sure. Uh. That sure would be his husbands big strong sweaty thighs locked around his head and you know maybe he shouldnât be too hasty to judge this hobby
Very soon Ilya is looking up moves for them to âpracticeâ and he starts to see the appeal of his big strong husband being able to manhandle him and also anyone else. When he finally goes to watch another practice he sees Shane taking down guys six inches taller and fifty pounds heavier with ease and no actually so sorry they canât go out to eat with everyone afterwards he needs to get his hot sweaty husband home immediately
The hockey world struggles to hide how pissed they are the first time Shane wins a tournament because of course he canât retire normally and had to go and become the best at something else, specifically something that means he could beat the shit out of any of them if he wanted
shane very frustrated after losing his first game after he joined the cens. it wasnât a big loss but still stings. he wanted to win all, he needed to win all. he canât let people think less of him after he left the montreal metros in such a disappointing way, practically thrown away from a team he worked his ass off for a decade. he was walking through the tunnel towards the locker room, carrying his helmet in his hand, face down. muttering to himself already thinking about everything he done wrong and can work it out to become better later. then he hit something solid and bounce back a little and then look up and he came face to face with his husband. he pauses and it hits him, heâs not going home by himself anymore after losing a game, ilya is right there. he says with his voice choked up âoh you are really hereâ and ilya just opens his arms and shane just collapses right into them and ilya coos âitâs okay sweetheart weâre together now, yes?â stroking his hair and shane tries to nod against his husbandâs neck and just tightens his arms around him. losing just doesnât hurt that bad anymore, he has ilya.
harris goes around filming the centaurs and asking if they would fight a teammate for him and everyone says yes immediately and he says what if it was luca haas and theyâre like oohâŠ.. no. expect troy probably. troy would be like i would Kill anyone on this team for you. â€ïž
yuna is surprised by all the photos.
"what do you think, mom?" shane sounds anxious on the other side of the line.
"shane, it's the all-star weekend in tampa bay, not paris fashion week," says yuna after scrolling through the outfit inspirations and mood boards of very fashionable clothes that shane has never worn before. (when did he even have the time to make these?)
"i know, but i want to look nice," shane says.
after shane sends over a third batch of photos for yuna's opinions, she hires a stylist for him. shane thanks her again and again after coming back from florida.
yuna is just glad that shane is happy.
Ilyaâs altar đ«
in a different world where hollander is out before his relationship with ilya is heâd be dodging dms from players who are NOT up to Shane Hollander standards so much heâd eventually put out a statement that is a very professional and kind version of âcan you 3rd rate LOSERS get OFF MY DICK oh my GOD you fucking people are ridiculous, i would rather kill myself than touch your dick, let alone DATE you. EVERYONE STOP SLIDING INTO MY DMS, the chances you are good enough to meet my standards are so so so so soooo fucking low you might as well just assume you dont meet them no matter who you are. also i have a boyfriend.â
Shane Hollander was not a blushing maiden, darning socks, waiting for their betrothed to return from war (hooking up with randos from the club). He hooked up with other people sometimes, too! Men and women. It's in the book and the show. It just wasn't a priority for him bc he considered all that sex he had "bad" sex. Maybe it was, but also very possible he's biased! But he did consider the sex with Ilya "good" and that's why he made their hookups, and later relationship, a priority. Shane is very focused. Shane likes sex, but would not have considered bad sex a priority for other things he cared about more, like hockey or his career. In conclusion, Shane Hollander fucks, he just has very particular, high standards!!
what do you mean my childhood affected me
i have terrible news
i like the idea of the centaurs having a rival team too, but itâs completely one sided and they just sort of decided that they donât like them a really long time ago and now no one really knows why.
ilya finds it fucking hilarious when he joins and is happy to join in with the mean spiritedness when they play against them. of course, the fact that heâs joined finally alerts this giant team of ottawaâs inexplicable hatred towards them, and they are so baffled like why is ilya rozanov tweeting about how much he hates us??
when shane joins he thinks itâs kinda silly and dumb and he just chalks it down to an inside joke he doesnât really get but then, kinda out of nowhere, he develops genuine feelings about it.
they travel to the city to play a game against the team, he sees mugs with the team logo on and his lip curls in disgust. every time they score it infuriates him more than usual, and totally boils his blood. when they win he feels this bone deep satisfaction kind of like he feels when they win against montreal but without the heavy baggage. and he realizes that he genuinely, seriously hates that fucking team.
all of a sudden heâs the no. 1 rivalry enforcer. no we will not be going out tonight, weâre playing against [x team] in three weeks. are you wearing fucking green? as in [x teamâs] color? are you fucking insane? no, ilya, we canât name our kid that thatâs the name of [x teamâs] centerâs daughter.
obviously ilya finds this hilarious, but itâs even funnier when shane gets out onto the ice, giving every single player on that team the most terrifying icy glare anyoneâs ever received and theyâre all just baffled bc wtf did we do?
ilya thrusting into shane with all his might. then shane comes and ilya follows not long after and shane says panting âyouâre not lasting as long anymoreâ and ilya leans on top of his husband, holding him close and says âi donât know whatâs happening to me, i have to concentrate so hard to not come before you, why do you feel so good, huh?â and he kisses shaneâs ear âyou feel insane the moment iâm inside you, do you know how hard it is to not come at the first thrust?â and shane snorts and then looks at him all smug and says âthatâs love, ilyaâ and ilya snuggles into his husband and says with his voice muffled âno, youâre some kind of wizard who casted some kind of spell on me, and now every time we have sex i get more obsessedâ and shane just cackles.
Hollanova Au where Lilya is a middle school teacher and she is very sweet and always wears floral dresses and she has long blonde curls and Jane is a butch PE teacher and they have beef with each other because both are the kids favorites.
Outside school Lilya plays bass in a metal band and Jane is a ballet dancer. Jane is invited to a show by her best friend Hayley Pike and guess who's band is playing? Lilya's.
âwhat do you guys do in your free time?â bood asks shane and ilya. theyâre at monkâs, at least most of the team, after a home game and sitting together in a booth. and ilya opens his mouth to answer but shane cuts him off saying âplease give a normal answerâ and ilya looks at him fake annoyed and says to bood âwhen weâre here we just go on hikes, play some football or video games. at least for an hour when weâre not doing anythingâ he chuckles and bood asks âyou guys only have an hour to yourselves?â and ilyaâs like âoh no is cus we spend doing others activitiesâ and bood asks âwhat are those?â and ilya smirks mischievously and bood looks at shane and says âi walked right into that didnât i?â and shane shrugs taking a sip of his beer
ilya is fingering shane. all their moans echoing through the bathroom. ilya is moaning as if heâs the one being fingered, he genuinely loves to pleasure his husband, he loves so much heâs about to come only hearing shaneâs whimpering in his ear. then he says âthat wonât doâ and shane asks âwhat?â and ilya goes âi want to fuck youâ and shaneâs like âjust fuck me thenâ and ilya says âi canât fuck you here, weâre not young anymore, if we fall we canât play tomorrowâ and shane cackles and says âdonât let scott hunter hear thatâ and ilyaâs like âwhy the fuck youâre talking about geriatric hunter? now iâm softâ and shane laughs and then he drops on his knees and asks âyou sure?â and ilya goes âwell thereâs no way i can keep soft with you looking like this right?â as he hold onto shaneâs hair