Honey Mustard And Onion Only

Any other flavor is irrelevant

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[monsterboyjunction]

Saw a post and decided to fix it ^^

[weevilwoodpecker]

i always reblog pro wasp propaganda to spite my phobia

[the-haiku-bot]

i always reblog

pro wasp propaganda to

spite my phobia

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[nyancrimew]

y'all remember this game? just pure goonbait it's crazy i was allowed to play it at all bro 😭

[msmaev]

Once you know all the logic tricks to play minesweeper, you end up in a state of exercised mastery. The goal is not to solve individuals puzzles but to tease out more and more from her while denying her every chance to explode, every chance to deny you your total dominance over her.

In short, mastery over minesweeper is mastery over edging the program.

[masterspider5]

We have GOT to get regular porn back on this website.

[nyancrimew]

what do you think this is

[artsyleninade]

'let me go i have to blow him'

[kingfucko]

i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck

[justafanaticalhuman]

Porcelain Prosthetics for SJ

Inspo photos below cutline

[witnessings]

happy last day of pride to the gay snails who hug and kiss for hours without mating

[brick3621]

[need-him-pregnant-poll]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT *SEASON 2* GROUP FOUR *FINALS

TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?

Yue Qingyuan/Yue Qi (The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System)

Howl Jenkins Pendragon (Howl’s Moving Castle)

Voting ended onJun 27

*The winner of this matchup will represent their bracket in the inter-group finale poll(s).

PROPAGANDA:

[Yue Qingyuan]

"The Sect Leader should get pregnant because the Sect Leader should be the picture of fertility and virility both, boost the usage of male child-bearing pills, and because the whole Sect would go crazy trying to find out who's the baby daddy. I think Yue Qingyuan could benefit from having to raise a child of his own instead of managing disciples, because Yue Qingyuan no longer has a family of his own and deserves one, and this way, perhaps he'd be forced to care about another person again. His strong and qi-rich body would also have an easy pregnancy and have a strong and happy child."

[Howl]

"Because he would be SUCH a wet cat about it. And if he's with Sophie, he should do his share since she already cleans so much."

[i-am-a-fish]

Visit Original Link

I want to upload this reading of our new head chef Barbeque Pistol but NOTHING IS WORKIING it won't upload I want it to be a reblog on the original post aaaaaa

[chocogummigoodness]

Why is the cover art bald Markiplier

[i-am-a-fish]

that's barbecue pistol

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Your partner came back from the dead after being missing for decades. Every one of their friends who they went with ended up dying a horrible death.

Now, somehow, their entire mental health is based on the continued life and happiness of this fairground goldfish that they picked up.

Neither of you know the first thing about how to care for even a healthy fish. This fish has been poorly cared for, has multiple diseases and the person who handed it over explicitly didn't expect it to live nearly as long as it already has.

You're frantically googling how to set up a fish tank, where to buy fish food, can you even take a fish to the vet? Your partner wants you to know that they're happy they made it home and survived their horrific ordeal, but also that if anything happens to the fish then they're going to kill everyone on this planet and then themself.

You're honestly wondering if you're even helping the fish, or just prolonging its suffering, but your partner will only accept medical help for their many injuries or engage in basic self-care once they're confident that the fish is being looked after.

So you get a tank. You set up a filter and all that stuff. You learn way more than you ever wanted to know about water temperature and ph and nitrate levels. The fish is safe. You start to develop some affection for the little guy. Your partner begins to recover. The fish begins to recover.

Which is when you learn that in its 'healthy' state, the fish regularly refuses to sleep when tired, keeps begging for food that is obviously unhealthy for it (and struggling to eat the food that you do provide because “it tastes gross”), and continually tries to persuade your partner to take it out of its nice safe tank so it can go explore the wonderful world of Outside, where the slightest mishap will kill it instantly.

Your name is Adrian, and you kind of wants to strangle this fucking fish, statement.

[binghespeerlesscucumber]

WQW: I’m telling you he’s not possessed!

QQQ: What are you talking about?! We can literally see a whole group of ghosts clinging to him with the bare eye!

WQW: I tested him with every sword, he’s not—

LQG: Well if he’s not possessed then what is this?

YQY: Don’t worry Xiao-Jiu, I’m sure we’ll figure out how to fix this….

SQQ: Do NOT call me—

MQF: Hey hey hey let’s all stay calm… please…

SQQ: I am calm.

MQF: Shen shixiong—

YQY: Xiao-Jiu—

QQQ: And what’s up with you, ah? You can barely keep your babbling mouth shut most of the time and all of a sudden you’re quiet as a mouse.

All eyes turned to Shang Qinghua. All of them carried expectant gazes like he could magically fix this bizarre situation. A very strange group of ghosts had made their way onto Cang Qiong Mountain. They were neither malicious nor resentful; actually they didn’t really do anything but stick to Shen Qingqiu. It was truly a strange sight to behold. They were almost entirely white in color, faces distorted or gone entirely, bodies far too small and dressed in the simplest of garments.

They looked like children who had died before they even understood the concepts of life and death and their identities. Well, they looked like that because that’s exactly what they were.

SQQ: You do know something don’t you? Spit it out already, you rat!

SQH: Ah— that— so I— Shen Shixiong, they’re harmless I promise!

YQY: Shang shidi, if you know how to resolve this…

SQH: Oh no. No no no. Let’s just— let’s just wait and see? They really are harmless so—

SQQ: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Just wait and see?

MQF: Shang shidi, please.

SQH: how about we don’t…

LQG, QQQ & SQQ: Shang Qinghua!

SQH: Okay, look. You won’t like what I know about them and it doesn’t really help to get rid of them anyway so how about we—

SQQ: Spit. It. Out.

SQH: Okay okay okay but you gotta promise to not kill me!

SQQ: …

SQH: Promise!

SQQ: Urgh I promise. Now talk.

SQH: Well, okay, so… I can’t— I don’t really remember what they’re called right now but… I have actually, unfortunately encountered them before. They really are harmless. These ghosts they… stem from children who died very young. Like really young. Usually in slow, brutal ways… torture, assault, those things…. All they really do is cling to each other for comfort and flow from place to place.

The room stayed quiet for a moment.

SQQ: And? Why are they sticking to me?

SQH: That— I— You really don’t want me to say it, Shixiong…

If a gaze could kill.

SQH: Allright, fine. Don’t blame me. Sometimes… they’ll consider living people one of their own and kling to them. Only difference being, the living person survived the kinds of things that killed them…

[sunderwight]

Scenario where Shen Qingqiu forlornly confesses to having "turned Binghe gay" and Luo Binghe i n s t a n t l y develops a corruption kink about it.

Yes Shizun tell him more about how you and your wiles are the sole reason for Binghe being consumed with lust. How you've ensnared him and seduced him away from potentially hundreds of beautiful women and instead made him your obedient housewife and sex toy and love slave and--

[confuzing]

After the visit from Bingge Bingmei's just like 'holy shit Shizun really did just turn me gay! And it made me a better person somehow?!? I didn't have a chance that other Binghe was falling for him too and it had only been a few hours!!! Shizun is so powerful... 😳'

[allpiesforourown]

Shen yuan who's always had a weak body and looked up to big buff men with lots of muscle and has a whole complex about how he's not enough of a man because he's so thin and one day when it's been a little too long since he went to the barber so he gets hit on by a guy who thinks he's a girl. the guy tells shen yuan he's really cute and shen yuan blushes because he's never really received male validation before so he buys a wig and some women's clothes and wears it in public and he's so flustered by the crazy amount of men who ask him out.

There's big strong gym bros telling they've always wanted a pretty delicate girlfriend like him and when he admits he's a little sickly they just croon about how theyd love to protect and take care of a girl like shen yuan and for the first time in his life shen yuan is getting positive attention for his insecurities so he starts crossdressing more and more often until he runs into Luo binghe aka the kid he used to tutor who's all grown up now.

Shen yuan is terrified of being recognized because binghe was always a bright child but binghe just smiles and asks him to coffee. shen yuan tries to say no but he can't think of a good enough excuse to leave (no woman would turn down someone as perfect as binghe) so he hesitantly ends up agreeing to go on a date with binghe and they have a lovely time and binghe kisses shen yuan goodbye at his door and shen yuan is so shocked and starts feeling guilty that he made poor binghe kiss a man and abruptly says goodnight and slams the door closed. Binghe goes home to his wall full of secretly taken pictures of shen yuan and stares at it for 30 minutes like a normal person

[sonoftheria]

✴︎ BETRAYED STRAYS ✴︎

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[thesweetestsupervillains]

It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.

We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.

[ao3cassandraic]

I'm uh.

Just going to point out that this happened, and then go into hiding (with, I hope, somewhat improved opsec) before somebody puts a horse head in my bed.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Huh.

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful