ampersand

& i should be doing actual work rn but whoops

[dankmemeuniversity]

[monasticcellphone]

[bakwaaas]

someone said ‘the version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility’ and wow

[scorpioetry]

male fragility

[scorpioetry]

bonus:

[kristina100000]

[emma-d-klutz]

She’s right though. Soir means night

[butchflirt]

Shut the fuck up his mom just died

[sunwukxng]

Probably out of embarrassment over him messing up bonsoir

[wizardshark]

men be like my mom just died time to go on a dating app

[backpackfullofplums]

In case you aren’t familiar, Michael Scott Moore and David Rohde are both journalists. Moore was held by Somali pirates for 977 days. Rohde was held captive by the Taliban for 7 months after being abducted in Afghanistan.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the only valid corporate twitter account is merriam-webster

[catgirlnailpolish]

And sparknotes. Don’t forget sparknotes.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

give us some sparknotes screenshots then

[pixelenchanter]

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses here are just a few

[drinking-tea-at-midnight-deacti]

[beckofthewoods]

yeah but what are they selling though? their free website w minimal ads that helps to make classic literature more accessible?? their books with modern English translations of that classic literature next to the original text that make such literature even more accessible??? god forbid!!!

[penny-anna]

Concept: Sam finds out elves can die of sadness, gets very concerned, starts doing his best to make sure Mr Legolas is happy all the time just in case

[penny-anna]

This causes a terrible dilemma when Legolas expresses that he’d prefer not to be addressed as Mr Legolas and Sam doesn’t want to risk upsetting him but also that goes against everything he knows.

[enide-s-dear]

‘Mr Highness Greenleaf sir’

[penny-anna]

Mr Greenleaf, sir? Mr Green? Mr Leaf?

[sheofthetea]

*Legolas and Gimli fighting, as usual* 

Sam: Stop! STOP! You leave Mr L- Elf alone, Mr Gimli!

Legolas: Why, thank you, Sam. You see, Gimli? Your dwarven rudeness has even upset Sam-

Sam, sobbing: He can’t take such a talking to, Mr Gimli! He’s such a sensitive soul. Much more of that and he’ll be dead by morn!

Legolas: 

[penny-anna]

Aragorn: Sam, don’t worry. it takes a lot more sorrow than that to kill an elf

Sam: but these are really sad times

Aragorn: excuse me

Sam: we’re all very upset all the time because of the quest. what if something small is what pushes him over the edge

Aragorn: it doesn’t work like that-

Legolas, genuinely panicked: what if it works like that??

Aragorn: I’m sure it doesn’t

Legolas: he had a point I AM very upset all the time

Gandalf: Legolas I assure you no elf has ever died like that

Legolas: NOT YET THEY HAVEN’T

Legolas & Sam: *both panicking*

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

HEY I JUST GOT HOME AND THE WOMAN IM ENTING MY ROOM FROM ANWERED THE DOOR IN A FULL VELVET CAPE AND SEVED ME WINE AS SOON AS I CAME IN AND SHE’S WACHING THE BLADE MOVIES SO WHEN I SAID THIS HOUSE IS SAFE FROM VAMPIRES I THINK THAT’S THE MOST WRONG IVE EVER BEEN

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I REALLY did NOT know how to cope I said “I like your cape” (which is true it’s a great cape) and she said “here, have some wine” and I said “I need to study” and she said “not at all” and poured me like 1/3 of the bottle and I said “that’s a LOT of wine” and she said “it really isn’t” and sent me to my room with it.

[carebewear]

Op is your landlady single

[gravehop187]

[forfawkssake]

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

[jonmoxleys]

sometimes it just ends up being something like

[onlyhereforthedrama]

ITS BACK

[dontleavemydreams-deactivated20]

lord 

[uhmgilinsky]

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

[forfawkssake]

Please stop reblogging this post

[myterribletwenties]

This post made my water break

[myterribletwenties]

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

[forfawkssake]

WHAT

[thecommonchick]

OMG! 😂

[discreetwithabellyring-deactiva]

The plane while I suck his dick in the bathroom:

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

STOP Asgdhdkkskfkff

[j-velle]

W……..wow………

[nicoleclowes]

twuuu looove feat. ROUS pals Buy prints here: https://society6.com/product/twuuu-looove_print

[thedorseyshawexperience]

[jennytrout]

This is the only story about a haunted sword where the haunted sword is the least interesting part of the story.

[pantoupantou]

@fabfemme-inist @horsestoe

[zentropista]

[egregiousderp]

Nobody has a more peak college experience than Gimli Gloinsson.

Like.

He goes on this great study abroad deal, his parents are proud, he’s already so cultured and has such a way with words-

And here their perfect son, with the golden tongue, and the classic dwarven beauty comes home with this skinny elven redneck on his arm and three hairs in a special locket on his jacket like “so I decided to major in Elven Studies and this is my boyfriend Greenleaf Greenleaf. We’re moving close to a forest so we can look at the stars together.” While Gloin sobs LADDIE NO and wonders where he went wrong.

[ohbellamy]

#same energy

[hanfugallery]

Chinese hanfu by 李梦鱼