I’m here…

if i look back, i am lost

JVL

gracie abrams
we're not kids anymore.

#extradirty

Love Begins
trying on a metaphor
Keni

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bliss lane
Today's Document

tannertan36
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
wallacepolsom
Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
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tumblr dot com
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Sade Olutola
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@pappykins
I’m here…
WIP Whenever
I'm still getting in the habit of writing consistently again, so I wanted to share more of my werewolf!Stiles fic, Entry Wound.
-
"Hi," Stiles says, his hands twisting in the hem of his shirt. "Are you eighty years old, or what?" When Derek frowns up at him, he jerks his chin at the newspaper.
"Not everything gets posted online; small, inconsequential things get published here -" Derek taps the newspaper "-first, before they blow up into something bigger. It's how we knew the Alpha pack was headed our way."
"But not the Darach."
Derek swallows. "No, not the Darach."
A spark of satisfaction, pink lips curling into a smirk. Yes, Stiles and Scott saw what he could not. Her touch, the smell of her, had been soothing, borderline opium. The fire inside had been extinguished, replaced with a craving for respite. He never had a better night's sleep than after he fucked Jennifer or Julia, whatever her true name was. Magick - real magick, not just mountain ash cast with intention - has coated her lips, the imprint sinking into his skin, etching itself into his bones.
If Stiles wasn't turning then Derek would point out the absurdity, the hypocrisy, and Stiles' own cowardice. None of this would have happened if Derek had his pack, if Stiles had confessed about what happened in Gerard's basement. Derek could have saved them. Fuck, maybe Stiles could have tried to save them, bleed for Derek for once. Erica wouldn't have died, her small, broken body left where it fell. Boyd wouldn't have died on Derek's own claws, in this very loft.
Stiles' face spasms, the colour draining from his cheeks. "I'm - I don't know why I said that."
"I do." Derek flips back to the sports section. "You're changing. I can smell it already."
He covers his face with his hands. "I can't handle this without coffee. And food. Can I…?"
Derek waves a hand. At this point, the food is bound to be cold but that doesn't stop Stiles from piling bacon and eggs onto a paper plate. Derek leaves him to it, content to read about what teams are headed for the Super Bowl. Once Stiles has filled his belly, they can talk about what comes next.
Of course, Stiles has other plans.
"So," he says around a mouthful of eggs. He swallows, takes another swig of coffee. "I'm going through werewolf puberty and you can smell it. That's not freaky or anything."
Derek inhales carefully. There it is - crisp and bright, on the edge of feverish. In a few hours, it'll thicken into something musky and wet. New fur damp with afterbirth.
"Yeah," he says. He flips the page, skimming to double check that he hasn't missed anything preternatural headed their way before folding the paper up. "Have you spoken to Scott?"
"I was hoping for more information," Stiles says peevishly. Still hunched over the counter, he shoves a piece of bacon into his mouth. "Not just yeah. What the fuck?"
"You've been through this with Scott," Derek points out. "The first symptoms are mood swings and increased appetite. Your senses will heighten, becoming stronger and -"
Stiles pushes away from the counter and begins to pace, hands waving as he says, "But when will I know? Am I gonna grow a tail or - or poison claws? And what about -"
This again. "You're not a kanima," Derek says firmly. "By this point, Jackson was leaking black shit from his nose and mouth and ears. Is that happening to you? No, because you're normal."
He wrings his hands, still pacing, eyes glassy and wild. "I don't feel normal, I'm - I'm…" Stiles pauses next to the shabby table, his face going slack. "I just keep thinking about…"
Slowly, Derek stands. When Stiles doesn't react, he takes a careful step towards him, then another and another until they're close enough to touch. Stiles' eyes are distant, chest heaving. In another hour or so, he'll begin to feel the physical effects. How it'll manifest first, Derek can only guess.
Isaac had jealously guarded his food and possessions. Erica had lashed out violently and at times sexually, scouring flesh with her claws and teeth. Without the influence of the moon, Boyd had been almost docile, suffering instead from overstimulation and migraines; he'd lock himself in a dark room for hours and hours on end. Scott? Had become fixated on his girlfriend, despite the danger.
Stiles is loyal to a fault, clever, irritatingly stubborn. He could become a nightmare. A pit of dread forms in Derek's stomach. Admiral traits in a human can become twisted or magnified as they transform. A dark reflection of who they were. This is why sane Alphas don't roam around, turning people without cause: there's no guarantee that it won't go bad.
Quietly, Derek asks, "Can you feel him?"
Like a rusted automaton, Stiles shakes his head. No pack bond then. Stiles is an omega; once again, they're on the same playing field. Alone together. No, that's not right. Stiles will have Scott and Isaac.
"Peter," Stiles croaks out. He shakes his head again, as if he's just waking up. "He, uh. He made Scott do things, feel things."
Instinct demands that he touch and comfort, press their bodies together. Skin on skin, fur against fur. At his sides, Derek's fists clench. "Peter was actively courting Scott. That can't - won't happen to you. You're safe here."
A noise akin to a laugh bubbles from Stiles' throat. His eyes shift, gaze landing on the spot where Boyd died. "Yeah," he says. "Sure."
-
low pressure tags!! @crownofstardustandbone @whimsicalmeerkat @renmackree @mylifestiles and anyone else who wants to join in, I'm soo out of the loop on who is writing lmao
my life with ADHD
This is very true and a great post.
But low key makes me think about how people with adhd have been raised their whole lives to value a day based on what they accomplished vs what they experienced
I think your point is excellent. But also consider:
That list might say things like “Paint a picture. Go birdwatching. Finish that great novel I started reading. Call my grandma. Learn to bake a cake. Visit my sister. Play piano.”
For me at least, the good/fun things are harder without meds too. I can have the best intentions, but following through is hard.
This addition is so important.
Yeah. I once made a post in which I complained about being frustrated at my brain, and one of the things I said was:
“I should not be struggling this much to do things that I want to do and have the time, space, energy, and skills to do. Actually, when I list it all out like that, I should not be struggling at all to do those kinds of tasks.”
And I STILL somehow got a rant about capitalism in the comments. And I do understand where it’s coming from, yes, but goddamn did I not make myself clear? Did I not say Things That I Want To Do???
oh fuck... the adderall has hit my system... the change, it's happening... grRRRGH...!! get away from me, before it's too late...!!
(flails on the ground, then stands up and does the dishes)
Did Stiles post this.
*I got really good at escaping the tower.Just never at staying escaped.*
It was @anarchycox's birthday, and I thought the best gift would be a young Stiles with Noah!
STETER ¦ brat tamer peter
DEREK HALE
Teen Wolf (2011—2017 ) Season 2, Episode 8
many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think
WIP Whenever
I've been in a weird place writing wise, soo I decided to take something off the backburner to fiddle with. I feel like I already shared some of this before buuut if I did it was like 2 years ago, so fuck it!
Here's a snip of Entry Wound, my fic where Stiles becomes a werewolf.
-
There's no sign of Stiles outside the depot. Derek steps out of the car cautiously. He can't smell anything truly dangerous - there's no gun oil or wolfsbane. But there - hanging in the air, sweet miasma, is blood. Stiles' blood. He follows it into the depot, wrinkling his nose when the dual scents of motor oil and grease threaten to overwhelm him, past the abandoned train cars and into the office area.
One of the doors reads Manager in a fading script. Derek pauses by it, listening. He turns the knob and finds it unlocked. Of course Stiles would hide in the office Derek used to sleep in. "Stiles?"
The mattress is piled high with blankets that move when Derek steps inside. Stiles pokes his head out from beneath them, his little face is splotchy, tear-stained. "Hi," he croaks out.
Derek wants to rip the blankets off and carry Stiles home. He wants to grab Stiles and demand to know what happened. He does neither. "Are you hurt?"
Stiles sits up. The blankets slip down, revealing his bare shoulders and collarbone. Derek clenches his jaw. Patches of red and purple blood across Stiles' fair skin. Love-bites.
He can't help it; he rushes across the room, falling to his knees besides the bed. He only means to look, needing to confirm his worst fears, but Stiles reacts like it's a precursor to an attack. The boy jerks back, pressing himself against the concrete wall, clutching a threadbare quilt to his chest.
Derek freezes with one hand outstretched. "Stiles?"
"I don't..." Stiles swallows. His gaze is vacant, focused on something over Derek's shoulder. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's fine, I'm fine." Slowly, his fingers unclench and the quilt falls away.
Stiles' chest is dotted with more hickeys. They're lurid, obscene against his pale skin. "You don't look fine, Stiles," Derek says, as gently as he can. "Did someone..." He can't bring himself to ask. Stiles smells of another man, semen, saliva. Derek can put the pieces together.
But Stiles shakes his head vehemently. "That's - it didn't happen like that. I said yes, and he just -"
"You don't have to tell me," Derek says firmly. He makes eye contact with Stiles. "Okay? You don't have to say anything, not until you're ready."
That earns him a watery smile. "I wish that was true, big guy. Just - just let me show you, okay?"
Horror spreads through him, but he nods. Stiles takes a deep breath, gearing himself up for it, and then he scoots down the bed, closer to Derek. Shaking like a fly-bitten creature, Stiles rolls onto his stomach.
For a moment, Derek isn't sure what he's supposed to see. Stiles is only wearing a pair of briefs, and he wants to avert his eyes, wants to wrap Stiles back up in the blankets. But then he sees it: the bite mark. It's high on Stiles' back, close to his spine. It's livid, filthy red and sluggishly bleeding. There's overlaying gashes, like the man kept biting while Stiles struggled beneath him.
"He didn't tell me he was a werewolf," Stiles says in a small voice. "He - I met him at Jungle and he was nice, so I went back to his car. After... Um. Afterwards, I was just lying in the backseat, talking, you know? It was about a movie; I was telling him about a movie we could see, and then he -"
Derek leans over Stiles, needing to get a better look. Stiles' breath hitches and his shoulders tense. He makes a move like he's going to squirm away, but Derek presses him down against the mattress with one hand. Stiles whimpers, turns his face away, as Derek sniffs at the wound.
Alpha. An Alpha werewolf attacked Stiles.
"Am I going to die?"
"No," Derek growls. The wound is bleeding, but he can already see it starting to close up. Instinct demands that he help, and so he does. He laps at the bites, chasing away the scent and taste of the Alpha who mauled Stiles. He laves at the wound, running his tongue against the grooves, until saliva runs down Stiles' side.
"This is weird," Stiles says, voice thick. "And gross."
It's not weird. The only thing unnatural about this at all is that the Alpha didn't do this. It's supposed to foster a pack bond between Alpha and the new beta, as well as reducing the likelihood of bite rejection. It's tradition. But this one attacked Stiles, ruining what should have been a tender moment between them, and then abandoned him. An unwanted omega wolf.
Stiles is in good company.
"Stop, Derek, please."
Derek lifts his head, licking his lips. The bite is healing nicely now, with no trace of the black pus that indicates a rejection. Stiles will be okay. "You didn't want this." Derek is still holding Stiles in place. "So why...?"
Stiles' throat clicks as he swallows. "He said... he said that I was asking for it by running around with so many wolves." The next words come out in as a whisper. "He said I was a tease."
"Stiles..."
"It's fine," Stiles insists. His eyes are still closed. "Just - just get off me, okay?"
Derek obeys but doesn't go far. The last thing Stiles needs is someone hovering over him, but he's hurt and reeks of sex and shame. Derek never wanted that for him, never. He knew it would happen eventually: teenagers want sex, it's natural. But it should have been good for Stiles. It never should have been tainted by violence and fear.
It should have been with Derek.
He pushes that ugly, possessive thought away. Bitter jealously isn't attractive coming from an adult man. "Do you want to go home?"
Stiles doesn't move. He's still spread out, face pressed against the mattress. There's more dark marks staining the milk-white skin of his thighs. This Alpha hadn't been gentle, even before the biting. "When will I know?"
"You're not going to die."
"That's not what I mean," Stiles snaps. He sits up with a grimace, pulling the quilt up to his chest. "When will I know what I'm going to be?"
As always, Stiles' mind is going down paths Derek didn't anticipate. "You're not going to turn into a kanima," he says firmly, willing it to be true. "They're incredibly rare and, Stiles, you know yourself."
The words are not as reassuring as he'd have hoped. Stiles draws his knees up to his chest, curling in on himself. "If..." He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. "If I'm not a werewolf, and I'm... something, I need you to -"
Derek clenches his jaw. No matter what, he's not killing Stiles. He doesn't have that in him. But a comforting lie works better than the truth sometimes. "I'll take care of you," he says, resisting the urge to curl his hand around Stiles' ankle. "Now come on, you'll feel better after you get some sleep."
Stiles' laugh is bitter, but he slides off the bed all the same. He keeps a hold of the quilt, wrapping it around him like a shawl. Can Stiles smell him on it? The residual alpha musk could be a comfort if Stiles' senses are already enhancing.
"Here," Derek says, snagging a forgotten cellphone from the mess of blankets. When Stiles takes it from him, their fingers brush. Normally, this would make Stiles' heart race with excitement, but now he jerks away, keeping his eyes averted.
"Sorry, I don't know why..." Stiles trails off, but Derek knows what he was going to say. The stench of fear is thick in the air.
"It's okay," Derek says, because it is. He stays on his knees, trying to appeal to any new instincts Stiles might be feeling. He ignores his own desire to nuzzle Stiles' soft belly. Touch can be a comfort, but not here, not so soon. "Let me take you home."
-
low pressure tags!! @nixeleth @renmackree @meggie-stardust @like-lazarus @punchedbymarkesmith
@lucky-bishop @the-bar-sinister and also anyone who wants to do this!! genuinely, i have no idea who is fighting for their lives with a WIP rn
DEREK HALE 4.06, Orphaned
i miss my beautiful wife joann fabrics it feels as if eons have passed since i last saw her. this guy michael keeps waving her visage in front of me and saying she’s living in his house but he is lying to me. i know this because i went into his house and found only fragments and memories of my beautiful wife joann and pictures of her shadowed face labeled “online only”. michael won’t even let me order swatches from him
as derek is driving home from work, his phone starts buzzing like crazy on the passenger seat.
he figures he's like two minutes from home, he'll answer when he pulls into the driveway. he can feel his stomach start to twist because if that's stiles or eli... he shakes his head, he won't be any help to them if he crashes while texting and driving.
as he pulls into the neighbourhood, he can see it. his heart stops.
a black plume of smoke rising into the air.
he almost swerves into a light post, steps on the gas and rights the steering wheel.
please not his house. please not his family. not again. he won't survive.
the car has barely stopped and derek is leaping out, running full speed towards his home. whats left of it.
STILES! ELI! STILES!
he isn't moving, why isn't he moving?
arms around him. claws come out.
Derek!
Dad!
derek whips his head around, sees stiles and eli sitting in the open door of an ambulance, blankets around their shoulders, plastic masks on their faces. sees stiles stand up.
the arms holding him back release (was it john? he hopes it was john)
he sprints to them, slipping a bit on the wet grass, and crashes into stiles, almost knocking him over.
he pulls eli into their embrace, almost as tall as both of them now and growing every day.
we're okay baby, we got out in time
dad...
its okay der, breathe, breathe us in, its okay, we're okay
derek focuses on their heartbeats, his husband and son, his whole world.
the roar of the flames, the crash of the water, the sirens, shouts... he lets it all wash over him. too familiar.
but this time he has his family. this time they got out. this time it wasn't his fault.
he doesn't even realise he's crying, not until eli uses the edge of his blanket to wipe at his fathers face.
breathe derek
was he not? of course not. he breathes in and out, following stiles' instructions
he pulls both of them back into his arms. he can't let go.
a paramedic asks them to put the mask back on, they inhaled too much smoke. suggests them to go to the hospital.
stiles open his mouth to argue (for himself. eli is definitely going.) but shuts it right away at the look on dereks face.
there is no argument. derek is making sure they are both checked out and okay.
they are deemed well enough by the paramedic to be driven by derek to the hospital instead of riding in the ambulance.
john appears (it was him) and insists on driving. you're a mess kid, you aren't driving like this
the aftermath will be hell. tomorrow will be bad. but they will deal with it together.
this time, derek won't have to do it alone.
Finally, an explanation for where they go.
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