Master of the Subservient Arts

40£ a year is not enough to deal with all this drama.

[cinematech]

[ratfuck]

the american government enlists me for a special mission and they tie me to a giant bullseye target on the ground and starts airdropping tons upon tons of cheese right into my screaming mouth

[bogleech]

There’s a comparison graphic

[bogleech]

1 like = 1 prayer for the huge cheese to turn around and eat the government

[butchflirt]

Pac Man

[parker-the-butler]

I'll Give You 3 Seconds to Keep Scrolling...

[memeguy-com]

[deepseathoughts]

These two books contain the sum total of all human knowledge

[kuttithevangu]

Honestly the mere fact that some people refer to Daddy Long Legs as “harvestmen” is creepier than 90% of all deliberately created horror but like the worst part is that the alternative is calling them Daddy Long Legs

[pipistrellus]

#WHAT ARE THEY HARVESTING #I AM HAUNTED AND VEXED

[apinchofsanity]

They are harvesting our sorrows

[sweaterweathercub]

True harvestmen, and not cellar spiders which are the other Daddy Long Legs, are truly omnivorous- known to eat everything from spiders, to fecal matter, to leaves and fungus… But one of the singularly most interesting habits of a particular European species is their almost symbiotic relationship with beehives– particularly man-made beehives. When a bee dies inside the hives, workers will remove the the corpse to just outside the hive just before dark. And the harvestmen? Well, they live up to their name.

[feynites]

So what you’re saying is that they are the grim reaper for bees.

[morrithal]

The grim beeper

[bromojumbo]

I can’t wait to go to Italy this summer so I can meet the Pope and propose some new ideas:

Baptism water park

Everybody gets a glass of wine instead of a sip

Extreme Confessions (where you confess your sins and then have to battle with one of the priests in order to be forgiven)

Buff Jesus

Every choir song is replaced with “Smooth” by Carlos Santana

A 15 min period where we try to summon Satan in order to defeat him once and for all

[razzledazzy]

someone: repeating things that reinforce a negative self view and world outlook such as the oh so popular tumblr niche of nihilistic ‘i want to die and everything is awful’ “jokes” me, in recovery, trying not to get dragged into that with them:

[eggerlandmystery]

[daenerys-stormborn]

- It was dreamlike. - Nightmarish.  - Not always. Sometimes it was beautiful.

Annihilation (2018) dir. Alex Garland

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

why did Apple have to chose this photo of radiohead that makes them look like they just got arrested for running the skeeziest meth lab in all of the Deep South for their artist profile

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

they all simultaneously look like how I felt after staying awake for three days

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

this is the band that wrote motion picture soundtrack and no surprises and true love waits and they look like the kind of people I would avoid making eye contact with at a rural chevron at 3 in the morning for fear of my life

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

it’s as if their publicist asked them what kind of visual aesthetic they wanted to go with for their new press photos to coincide with a moon shaped pool and thom yorke showed them the machinist

[trancefem-deactivated20170319]

they look like they just barely survived the waco seige

[parker-the-butler]

Thom Yorke looks like a man that got run over by two cars in every photo

[skarchomp]

oh here’s another one

-short tempered but has a soft side

-becomes extremely powerful and dangerous when he loses control 

-constantly overshadowed by but refuses to give up against his near godlike rival 

-will team up with said rival against a common foe

[skarchomp]

[skarchomp]

[whenharrymetsallys]

[supersaiyansadie]

thIS IS THE BEST PUN EVER AND IF YOU DON’T AGREE GET OUT

[stability]

i literally can’t stop thinking about this video and i lose it every time

[zamzamafterzina]

Lmfao

[noneeyewithleftyork]

okay everything about this video is absolute gold:

the fact that the guy argues via the puppet the entire time

the music

“let’s discuss the contradiction”

the overuse of the word “camera”

the way the puppet goes from trying to placate the guy to actively arguing against the guy and like turning it around on the guy

“youre consciously making a conscious choice”

the fact that by the end the puppet is basically screaming and the music is just. so loud.

“YOURE BREAKING THE CAMERA” as the video abruptly ends

[hemlockes-key]

for anyone who wants to see more stuff like this, you can probably find clips of it on YouTube. it came from a show called “Wonder Showzen” and it’s responsible for these gems, too:

[awwcutepets]

On the train and saw this friendly face

[necessaryephemera]

Cr: ExpandMyKnowledge

[manila-automat]

[meremalice]

[slumdundermifflinaire]

AVENGE ME HAMLET FOR I WAS KILLED BY YOUR UNCLE, AND MY BROTHER 

[carmenacterror]

Worth another reblog

[kitaspholais]

I know that shade of pond water

I live here

I might have even broken up a fight between these 2 when I was like 8

[thesandbeneathmytoes]

i know that shade of pond water