all fic recommendations posted here are separated by fandom! i hope you guys enjoy reading these pieces as much as i did! big props to all these amazing writers, as i strive to write as beautiful as all of you!
(if you have a request for a specific fandom recommendation, send me an ask!)
key - a: angst || f: fluff || s: smut || sb: slow burn || c: comfort
ā¼ Stray Kids ā¼
ĖŹā”ÉĖ fuck it, guess we both ain't shit! | chan x reader | S
being fwb with someone you have feelings for is hard, even harder when he's a douchebag who doesn't even bother introducing you as a friend, like where is the friends in friends with benefits? well, it's none existent now, because you're about to be more than friends, he just needed a little wake up call.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ unlucky girl syndrome | jisung x reader | SB
for three years, your relationship with han jisung was defined by thirty-six inches of distance, sharp-edged insults, and a mutual vow to never stand each other. but when a broken-down truck and a costal road trip strip away the noise of the city, the silence between you starts to feel less like a battlefield and more like home. it turns out, hating him was easy - it was the falling in love that was inevitable.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ louder | chan x reader | S
in which chan's obsessed with one thing: hearing you moan his name. what starts slow and sweet quickly turns into rough, relentless pleasure as he pushes you through orgasm after orgasm just to hear those pretty sounds spill from your lips.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ camera-shy | hyunjin x reader | F
it drove hyunjin crazy that you wouldn't let him capture you on camera.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ delirium | chan x reader | F, C
for once, you get to take care of the one who takes care of everyone.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ baby's first time | jeongin x reader | S
after months of endless teasing, jeongin finally lets go of his restraint. in a heated night alone in the dorm, the usually shy maknae discovers a deep, possessive hunger within himself. for the first time, he takes full control - claiming you with rough passion, strong hands around your throat, and an overwhelming need to mark and fill you until you're completely his.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ the aftershow | chan x reader | S
after seeing chris performing at the govball, he got you pretty worked up as he knew exactly what he was doing. so back in the hotel room you decided to let him know how much he really got you worked up.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ surprise visits and silent tears | ot8 x reader | C, F
finding their s/o crying
ĖŹā”ÉĖ ruined for anyone else | chan x reader | F
"if we ever broke up, i think you ruined me for anyone else."
ĖŹā”ÉĖ beneath the midnight stars | chan x reader | F
"i didn't want to date but now you're the one thing holding everything together."
ĖŹā”ÉĖ chasing yesterday | chan x reader | F
years after splitting paths, he didn't expect a text to bring an old friend - and old feelings - back into his life.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ handle with care: dilf inside | jisung x reader | S
dilf!jisung who just can't help but want to fuck his son's babysitter
ĖŹā”ÉĖ vision board | chan x reader | F
wedding planner!reader
ā¼ BTS ā¼
ĖŹā”ÉĖ comeover | taehyung x reader | S (by @jeonkive )
your brother's best friend is off limits. or so you thought.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ canvas hearts | jungkook x reader | F, SB, C, S ( by @luvvjjk )
y/n has no tme for distractions - especially not charming art majors with paint-streaked smiles. her life has been the same since high school, with a set routine that almost no one can hinder : eat, sleep, study, repeat. until a fundraiser mishap pairs her up with campus heartthrob and chaos incarnate, jeon jungkook, she falls in a loop of endless splotches of paint that mark a different path in her life.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ bf!jungkook | headcannon | F, S (by @stlllle )
ĖŹā”ÉĖ i got ways | jungkook x reader | S (by @jungkakes )
you know how to leave jeongguk. you just don't know how to stay away.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ bound by vows | jungkook x reader | F, SB, C, S (by @gukcnt )
your world crumbles when you're forced into a marriage with jeon jungkook, a man whose commanding presence terrifies you, reminding you of your father's cruelty. yet, beneath his coldness, jungkook's unexpected kindness stirs a spark of hope, making you question everything you fear. your life together starts - an emotional journey of two hearts seeking comfort, healing, and a chance at love.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ joyride | jungkook x reader | S (by @foliexaxdeux )
your car breaks down in a rural town during a solo road trip and you barely manage to make it to the nearest repair shop. jungkook, trusty mechanic and sweetheart, takes a look at your car and brings you to a - very icky - motel, where he can't bring himself to let you stay the night on your own..
ĖŹā”ÉĖ destination, you | jungkook x reader | F (by @femme11fatale )
jungkook has spent months planning the perfect proposal, but he forgot to account for one thing - you.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ until he can call you his | jungkook x reader | F ( by @vinylopall )
in which jungkook shows up every friday for six months to ask your father for permission to marry you, and gets rejected every time. still, he returns each week with flowers, pastries, and stubborn determination. meanwhile, you have no idea your boyfriend has been secretly trying to "apply" for the role of your husband behind your back.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ when the lights go out | jungkook x reader | S (by @pinkpantherbby )
an unexpected collaboration with jungkook was the last thing yuo wanted. he's frustrating, impossible to read, and somehow always finds a way to get under your skin. but as your resentment slowly transforms into something far more dangerous, you begin to realize there's more to him than you've ever been able to understand.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ video game lover | jungkook x reader | S (by @gguksval )
jungkook is somehow transported into a video game, in which he has an unhealthy obsession with the main character - you.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ start over | jungkook x reader | A (by @sweetonejk )
don't leave, i don't wanna start over (based on "start over" by 5sos)
ĖŹā”ÉĖ something like courage | jungkook x reader | F (by @koosette )
you have never wanted children. at least, that's what you told yourself - until you watched your husband feed your niece ice cream like she hung the moon, and something you thought you'd buried a long time ago quietly came back to life.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ right side of my neck | jungkook x reader | F (by @scarletjvliae )
spring arrives softly your junior year. suddenly, the flowers are blooming, the weather is warm again, and your quiet childhood friend next door - jeon jungkook - is tutoring you in calculus every saturday afternoon. you hadn't realized how much you'd drifted apart until now. unfortunately for your grades and your heart, he's far sweeter than you remembered.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ battle of the bands | jungkook x reader | F, S (by @fkingl0ser )
to the public, you had an infamous rivalry with the stoner emo kid jungkook, and everyone knew it, but behind closed doors, you had been in a strong relationship for months. when both your bands sign up for the school showcase, both teams are determined to beat the other, and the teasing, pranks, and late-night invasions only get worse. but how far is too far when one prank might just ruin everything?
ĖŹā”ÉĖ ride | jungkook x reader | S (by @wethemess )
spotting jungkook's weight session in your home gym. harmless, right?
ĖŹā”ÉĖ five days late | jungkook x reader | F, C (by @femme11fatale )
accompanying jungkook on tour has felt like living in a dream. stolen moments between cities, trying to make a relationship work in the middle of chaos. but when your period is late, the dream starts spiraling into panic as you try to find out if you're right without raising suspicion, and contemplate how you are going to break the news to your very famous, busy boyfriend...
ĖŹā”ÉĖ seven days a week | jungkook x reader | F, A (by @tarathetic )
in which a hardworking student breaks things off with her reckless boyfriend jeon jungkook after one dangerous night too many. brokenhearted but completely determined, jungkook sets out to prove he can change his entire life to flirt into her future - one day at a time.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ boyfriend headcannons | namjoon x reader | F (by @chwrrybby )
ĖŹā”ÉĖ ducati | jungkook x reader | S (by @jiminsdolly )
song playing: touchin' me - chandler leighton
ĖŹā”ÉĖ lonely night | jungkook x reader | A, S (by @spideyjimin )
after a heartbreaking and devastating breakup, you've never truly left jungkook's mind. never once did he stop thinking about you, wondering who you've become and wishing he could have you back. but one night, years later, you unexpectetly meet again. you realize that even in new relationships, you've never stopped searching for each other.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ made of honor | jungkook x reader x namjoon | A, S, F (by @kookooluvr )
you gained a lot from university; a law degree catching dust in your attic, countless arguments with your roommate about laundry schedules, and a best friend whose biggest fear in life is committment. in essence, jungkook's world gets flipped upside down when you take a trip to london and he finally realizes his feelings for you .. only to find out you've come back with a fiance.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ (she's) perfect | jungkook x reader | A (by @jjkarmy091 )
different inflection, when you say my name. kiss me, but your kiss don't feel the same.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ everytime we almost | jungkook x reader | SB (by @sweetonejk )
"you never hesitate." "i do." "when?" "when it matters."
ĖŹā”ÉĖ grease | jungkook x reader | S (by @cherrygkoo )
the one where you bring your bike in for a noise that keeps returning, and discover the only thing getting properly turned on is you.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ even now | taehyung x reader | S, A (by @bangtanfanfiction )
five years after their breakup, y/n is exhausted, overworked, and doing everything she can to keep her son happy. unfortunately for her, river has decided the solution to all of their problems is tracking down her famous ex-boyfriend and ambushing him in the middle of BTS practice.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ all to myself | jungkook x reader | S (by @wethemess )
wanting tipsy jk all to yourself after an album release party.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ bound by blood | taehyung x reader | F, S (by @ctrlhope )
a servant to the state since birth, forced to work for the royal family until you die. these are the conditions that have granted you life, yet they are the same ones that can take everything away. he can take everything away. but he would never, for you are his future, his eternity.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ what do you do when you have just been cheated on? | taehyung x reader | F, S (by @1luvtae )
what do you do when you have found out that your long-term boyfriend has been cheating on you? well, contacting his (may i mention, very, very hot) best friend tae is definitely an option.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ always the bridesmaid | taehyung x reader | A, F, S (by @kookingtae )
when you first meet kim taehyung, you're determined to find every reason to hate him - or maybe he's just looking for ways to get on your last nerve. but when a turn of events has the two of you working the wedding of the man you're hopelessly in love with, you're too late to realize the real reason to hate kim taehyung is because of the latest column he's secretly writing: 'always the bridesmaid, never the bride', and it's all about you.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ one more night | jungkook x reader | F, S (by @wintrbears )
you and jeongguk have had the same arrangement for years, that whenever he's back home in busan, he gets to recover from stardom in your arms. it allows you to act out your deepest fantasies without any strings attached, but maybe it doesn't have to remain a fantasy forever.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ warm linen | jungkook x reader | F, C (by @koofarie1 )
when a sudden, heavy downpour washes away your grand weekend plans in seoul, you expect a boring afternoon indoors. instead, jungkook turns his living room into a fortress of comfort. wrapped in his oversized clothes and insulated by a massive blanket fort lit by fairy lights, the chaos of his idol life completely fades away. it's a quiet afternoon, filled with spilled hot chocolate, playful tickle wars, and soft middle-of-the-night confessions that prove no matter how loud the world gets outside, you will always be each other's safe harbor.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ one shot, two shots, three shots.. | jungkook x reader | S (by @lostvenuss )
ā¼ Steve Harrington ā¼
ĖŹā”ÉĖ girl of the week | harrington x reader | S (by @alcottsangel )
steve's sex life sucks. he's not exactly sure why he doesn't want to fuck the girls he dates anymore, but it's certainly becoming a problem. when you listen to him complain yet again during your shared shift at Family Video you decide to make an offer. do you wanna fuck?
ĖŹā”ÉĖ running back to you | harrington x reader | F (by "deactivated user")
ĖŹā”ÉĖ i want you more than any stupid song could ever say | harrington x reader | F (by @swirledyouintoallmypoems )
steve wants to tell you how he feels, but he can't find the right words. robin gives him the idea to dedicate a song to you on the wsqk radio station, but not a single stupid song can explain just how he feels about you.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ steve harrington needs you, so bad. | harrington x reader | S (by @gardenias-on-the-tile )
ĖŹā”ÉĖ situationship vibes | harrington x reader | F, A (by @lizzygrantforever )
you and steve have been in a situationship for a while. you want way more with him, but you feel like he's not over nancy yet.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ slut era interlude | harrington x reader | F, A (by @djolemodel )
you get stuck in a constant loop that you think is going to be a short-term type of thing, but what you're missing is real communication.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ the back porch | harrington x reader | A, F (by @gardenias-on-the-tile )
when steve sees you at a party, he starts to go insane. so what if you broke up? he still loves you, and his mind can't seem to stop the thoughts that maybe, just maybe, he can win you back.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ your side of the bed | harrington x reader | A (by @harringtonsugar )
your breakup with steve has been rough, and it only gets worse at night without him next to you.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ hell & heaven | harrington x reader | S, F (by @catherinnn )
you can't stand steve harrington and his cocky attitude. unfortunately, hatred comes with a surprising amount of passion, and passion has a way of turning into feelings.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ high confessions | harrington x reader | F (by @djolemodel )
season 3 bathroom scene
ĖŹā”ÉĖ always ready to be left out in the cold | harrington x reader | S, A, F (by @thecreelhouse )
getting stuck with steve in the van on crawl nights fucking sucks. getting stranded in a snowstorm, forced to cuddle up next to the one person you cannot stand, all to share warmth and hopefully survive the night? you're almost certain you'd rather freeze to death. almost.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ crayons, shoelaces and love | harrington x reader | F (by @underoospeterparker )
despite telling himself he doesn't need love, single dad steve harrington finds himself falling for his seven year-old daughter's primary school teacher (aka you)
ĖŹā”ÉĖ drop dead | harrington x reader (by @maysileesweets )
ĖŹā”ÉĖ you're a catch | harrington x reader | ongoing (by @sighmaii )
after a rather unfortunate one-night stand, you're left scrambling to get you and your 3rd grade son to his new little league baseball meeting, and even more scrambled when you see that the man who'd given you the best night since you'd moved from chicago is, in fact, his coach. his really, really attractive coach.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ you can always reconsider | harrington x reader | (by @snapesuntouchedshampoo )
in which steve "the hair" harrington finds he can't leave you alone... even though you're sworn enemies.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ between the aisles | harrington x reader | S, F (by @thelastcitysposts )
during a sweltering summer in 1986, the slow shifts at family video become an unexpected battleground when steve and an old classmate of robin's keep running into each other. old grudges, sharp banter, and unresolved history turn every encounter into a tense stand-off, but the more time they're forced to share the same space, the harder it becomes to ignore the shifts happening beneath the surface. between late-night conversations, lingering glances, and the weight of who they used to be, something begins to change - whether either of them is ready for it or not.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ the vanishing of dustin henderson | harrington x reader | F, A (by @djoyful )
nobody has seen dustin henderson for days. not eddie. not mike. and defnitely not steve, who is on the verge of a mental breakdown. but did anyone think to check on commerce street?
ĖŹā”ÉĖ my man on willpower | harrington x reader | A, F (by @swirledyouintoallmypoems )
steve harrington used to be literally obsessed with you, but you're suddenly the least sought after girl in the land - or at least in hawkins.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ go go juice | harrington x reader | A, F (by @trizharrington )
a week after you broke up with steve, he gets wasted at a party and calls you drunk, begging you to come back.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ tame that jungle | harrington x reader | S, F (by @trizharrington )
what begins as teasing over steve's chest hair quickly turns into something far less innocent.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ the shape of home | harrington x reader | A, F, SB (by @rafecameronsbabygirl7 )
eighteen months after everything ended, you return to hawkins for the party's graduation - and find that some things never really stayed behind. between grief, familiarity, and the pull of what was never said, something fragile begins to surface.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ iloveitiloveitiloveit | harrington x diva!reader | S (by @mariasont )
he's your director. you're his researcher. and the two of you just got locked in a room with an active sex drug of your own design.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ stars in his eyes | harrington x reader | F (by @earth2starkey )
steve harrington should be listening while his friends are talking. instead, he's watching you from across the room, curled up with a book, like he hasn't been in love with you for years already.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ nettles | harrington x reader | A (by @levanterhaze )
you've known about the prophecy since the day you were born. the cuse of the older sister. ever since you and el were raised together in that sterile, white hell - shaped into weapons of war - you knew your life wasn't yours. dying wasn't brave. it wasn't noble. it was simply the inevitable conclusion you had been walking toward since birth.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ i won't let you go, please don't ask me to | harrington x reader | A (by @sasaririri )
she's his everything, and he was an idiot to make her feel otherwise. nearly losing each other forces them to confront what really matters.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ ice packs, almosts and the space in between | harrington x reader | F (by @keerymehome )
you're finally starting to feel like your life is moving forward, a decent job that you've learned to love. however, the new teacher at school seems to be living in your office with an army of injured children.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ caught in the game | harrington x reader | F (by @libraryafterdark )
being a single mom isn't easy, especially when your daughter loves baseball more than anything. and when steve harrington, the new middle school baseball coach, constantly irritates you, you're not sure wether to roll your eyes or secretly enjoys his attention. what starts as conflict over your daughter's love for the game slowly turns into something neither of you expected.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ good old fashioned lover boy | harrington x reader | F (by @rimtrbl )
3 times steve harrington couldn't keep his hands off you, and the 1 time everyone called him out on it
ĖŹā”ÉĖ what is love? (baby don't hurt me) | harrington x reader | F (by @cielasolana )
steve wants to feel needed. y/n needs someone. so in an insomnia-induced stupor, she decides to call him in the middle of the night. and steve is.. a bit too ready to come over.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ a chance at a future | harrington x reader | F (by @canyon-saturn )
you and your boyfriend steve had never spoken about the future, as you both knew it wasn't a promise. but now, as the end of this chaos seems near, you both begin to explore what a normal life could entail. but you have to defeat vecna first, a task that has clearly proven to be nearly impossible thus far.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ daydreaming | harrington x reader | F (by @moleculeofme )
a trip to the mall ends with you meeting someone new.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ reflexes | harrington x reader | C (by @jetblack4real )
as billy's twin, things tend to come with a fight. you're used to protecting yourself or your step-sister, but when things get rough between your brother and steve, you realize your reflexes may be protecting someone else too.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ pocketed time | harrington x reader | C (by @g0ldendesiree )
after saving steve's life, he realizes the things he almost left unsaid to the girl who's always been there for him.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ confetti on the floor | harrington x reader | F, S (by @mcrdvcks )
steve's new year resolution is to finally tell you how he really feels about you, because being friends with benefits isn't enough for him.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ beauty marks | harrington x reader | F (by @dottedluv )
waking up on steve's chest has you noticing things when you didn't think you could love him more
ĖŹā”ÉĖ movie night | harrington x reader | F (by @earth2starkey )
a quiet movie night at steve's turns into something more when robin and dustin notice just how much she's made herself at home. steve can't hide his pride, she can't hide her blush, and everyone quietly observes as their soft, teasing, and cozy dynamic unfolds.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ haunted staircase | harrington x reader | A (by @matchamegs )
in the upside down, you encounter steve right after his fight with dustin, and together you navigate grief, regret, and the tension of surviving in a world that keeps testing you.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ better boyfriend than him | harrington x reader | S (by @aloracreel )
you accidentally let it slip that your boyfriend hasn't fucked you in months, so what can steve do but make you feel good?
ĖŹā”ÉĖ sucker for a good cliche | harrington x reader | F, A (by @bibigo-lover )
you and steve have to fake-date after an awkward dinner at the wheeler-byers household - all while you're sure that he still wants nancy.
ā¼ Evan Buckley ā¼
ĖŹā”ÉĖ don't make trouble | buckley x reader | A (by @megalony )
y/n is so much happier working at the 118 rather than her previous station. but her work life shifts when a ghost from her past turns up and begins to make life horrible for her. and she doesn't want to tell evan for fear of upsetting him.
ā¼ Din Djarin ā¼
ĖŹā”ÉĖ yours to tame | djarin x reader | F, S (by @604to647 )
worried, din goes after you amidst a rainstorm.
ĖŹā”ÉĖ it feels like love | djarin x reader | S (by @withmyloveasyourgarden )
din rents a cottage to give you both and the kid a much needed break, but whilst there, he realizes that maybe the no strings attached arrangement you have isn't working for him anymore.
warnings: multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, creampies, oral (m and f), fingering, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy
synopsis: after 6 years of being away from the village you grew up in, you're finally visiting your grandparents. you're excited to spend time with them, but your heart beats faster at the thought of seeing your first love.
A long exhale left your parted lips, right as you pressed your forehead against the cold window of the car, shutting your eyes tightly.
'Get it together, y/n!', you thought to yourself.
But how could you get it together when you were currently driving towards the place you left almost 6 years ago, the place you haven't even stepped foot in while you finished college and tried to build the career you always wanted in the city?
How could you get it together when you couldn't stop replaying the song that once brought you happy memories that were now just a part of your past, filling you up with melancholy?
How could you get it together when you know he still lives there and it's inevitable that you will run into him? Your heart skipped a beat the moment you thought of that.
How would he react? Would he ignore you as if he never knew you? Would he run into your arms, like you knew you'd feel the urge to do as soon as your eyes land on his? Would he just greet you politely, like you haven't already exchanged your breaths, your innocence, whispers of love, tangled your tongues and your hearts?
Did he move on?
You wouldn't blame him if he did, after all, you were the one who left him when you had promised to always stay by his side.
You called your grandparents earlier to let them know you'll be visiting, finally after so many years, you had to be there to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, you wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. They practically raised you while your parents worked out of the village and you always admired the tender love they had for each other, spending so many years together and going through so much that just made their bond stronger.
You were tempted to ask your grandmother about Hyunjin, what he was doing now or if he had a significant other. But, you had bitten your tongue, too scared to find out the answer to your question.
You only hoped he didn't hate you.
Hyunjin. The boy that smiled shyly at you when you were just five years old, when his mother had brought him to your house for a play date while the parents have some 'grown up time'. You returned the shy smile, playing with the fabric of your nice dress, the one your mom made you wear, saying something about a 'good impression'. The awkwardness between you disappeared pretty quickly, as soon as you showed him your favorite toys, the two of you started playing together in your yard, between all the dirt and the flowers. Your mother had scolded you later for ruining your dress but your grandmother calmed her down, telling her how the dress paled in comparison to having a good time with a new friend.
Hyunjin and you had at least two play dates a week which turned into three, then four, soon you became inseparable; especially when you started going to school together. Both of you were pretty frightened about that change, standing in front of the school gate so Hyunjin reached out to hold your hand, squeezing it reassuringly as your little cheeks became rosy.
He was your best friend, your first and last crush.
Years of being by his side, watching him grow and growing with him, you couldn't imagine your life without him. Hyunjin knew almost everything about you as you did with him and when both of you started high school, something changed.
He was growing up, he was different than before and you started looking at him differently. Before, you were used to the feeling you got when he touched your hand but now it seemed more electrifying. Hyunjin felt the same, suddenly becoming a stuttering mess next to you, staring at you with shiny eyes and a dumb smile on his face while you'd come home from school every day with butterflies in your stomach and a new diary entry to write.
You noticed how pretty his smile was, how gentle his voice sounded when he spoke your name, how his eyes were trained on your lips one too many times. Hyunjin noticed how your silky hair fell over your shoulders, the way you'd flip it back when he called out to you, how you'd smile at him with rosy cheeks.
Then one night while you were sleeping, Hyunjin couldn't hold back anymore. He sneaked out of his room, stalking down the road quietly to your house, you were only a few minutes away from his place. He stood beneath your window, his palms clammy, heart pounding against his chest, his throat completely dry. There was no going back now. You were awakened by the sounds of little stones hitting your window and confusedly you sat up, squinting towards the direction where the sound was coming from.
"What the-" you started as you stood up. You quietly walked over to your window and peeked down.
"Hyunjin?" you wondered to yourself before opening the window abruptly just as he lifted his hand up and threw another little rock, almost hitting you straight in the face but you dodged with a gasp as it landed behind you.
"Bunny! I'm so sorry!" he panicked immediately, flailing his long arms, the nickname he always used for you making your stomach flutter.
"What are you doing here? It's 2am." you asked confusedly.
"Let me come up please. I need to talk to you." Hyunjin looked nervous, shifting from one foot to the other, chewing on his lip and playing with his fingers.
"Can't this wait until the morning?" your brain was still half asleep and the chilly air from the outside made you shiver in the little nightgown you had on.
"I mean... I guess it can. It's just I don't know if I will have courage tomorrow." he mumbled, looking down and kicking around the little rocks with his foot.
"Fine. Come on up." you said and Hyunjin climbed quickly even though you scolded him, reminding him to be careful and quiet.
"Sorry." he sheepishly smiled at you when you grabbed his wrists and pulled him inside, but his foot got stuck which ended in you falling backwards on your butt and him sprawled on the floor on his hands and knees, hovering over you.
"Hyunjin!" you grunted in pain. "If my grandparents find you here-"
"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" he whispered and the two of you just sat there quietly, trying to hear if there was any indication that someone was coming to your door.
But it was dead quiet, except for the crickets outside of your house and the loud thumping of your heart so both of you let out a breath of relief.
"What did you need to tell me?" you asked after the two of you sat down, you on your bed and Hyunjin on the chair. He stood up abruptly, a shaky breath leaving his lips. Hyunjin rubbed his hands together as he looked away from you. You were suddenly worried, knowing he rarely gets this serious.
"I've been hiding this from you for a while but I can't hold it back anymore, even if you don't feel the same about me I need you to know how I feel because otherwise my chest will burst." he babbled, looking at you nervously.
"Jinnie, what are you talking about?" you asked with brows furrowed, your heartbeat picking up speed.
"I like you. More than friends. As in I'd like to kiss you and hold your hand and have it mean something more than just 'best friends'. I want to be your boyfriend." he blurted out, heart wilding in his chest as he scanned your face, looking for a reaction.
Your lips parted as you stared at him quietly for a moment, trying to process what he was saying. Your dear, sweet Jinnie who you were in love with for years was confessing to you? Looking so nervous and adorable, telling you he wants to kiss you and be yours?
You wished you could scream. So, you did just that. You grabbed your pillow and muffled your excited scream with it as Hyunjin stared at you with wide eyes.
"Um. Are you okay?" he chuckled awkwardly.
"Not really." you shook your head. "Sorry, it's just... I like you too, Jinnie. And I'd love to kiss you and be yours."
"Oh." he stood awkwardly in place like he wasn't expecting a positive answer.
"Are you gonna kiss me now?" you asked sheepishly after a moment of silence.
"Can I?" he looked excited and nervous as he came closer to you and you stood up slowly, nodding at him.
"I- You know I've never kissed anyone before." he said quietly.
"Me neither. It's okay." you gently took his hand in yours and Hyunjin felt the familiar comfort you always gave to him, reaching into his soul even now.
You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, letting the dust settle and the reality sink in, smiles creeping up on your faces as you slowly leaned in. Lips against lips pressed together and your eyes fluttered shut, your entire body buzzing.
Hyunjin squeezed your hand, his other hand tentatively touching the side of your waist as you placed your hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat underneath your fingers.
Everything fell into place then, you were his and he was yours-
"Miss? Miss, we're here." you snapped out of your reminiscing session as the driver pulled up to your grandparents house. You almost forgot how tiny the village is, how cozy and familiar all of it is. The dirt roads you walked on, mostly with Hyunjin by your side, the little forest that led to a clearing you used for picnic dates and stargazing, your grandmother's colorful garden, the porch she always sat on, admiring the flowers she helped grow. Even the air smelled familiar and it was almost as if you had never left.
"Let me help with your bags." the man said as you walked out of the car, taking a deep breath of fresh air into your lungs.
"Thank you." you said as he pulled out your suitcase. "Careful with those, please!" you added as the driver struggled, finally managing to put both of your suitcases down.
You missed the annoyed look he gave you while you put on your lipgloss, making sure your lips were nice and plump as you checked yourself out in the little pocket mirror.
"Oh, right." you remembered. "Here." you opened your wallet and grabbed some bills, paying the driver and leaving him a nice tip.
Before you could close your wallet, something caught your eye. A little picture of you and Hyunjin, where he was holding you from behind, both of your faces rosy with big smiles as you were chuckling together. You sighed and closed your wallet quickly, shoving it into your bag.
"Thanks for the tip, miss. Have a nice day." the man rounded his car.
"You too." you waved and he turned on his car while you stepped back as the screeching tires lifted up the dirt.
"Ugh." you made a disgusted face, turning around to pull your suitcases with you. After a struggle with the luggage, you managed to finally make the little wheels roll as you walked into the driveway of your childhood home.
"Shit!" your heart leaped out of your chest when your foot got stuck and you pulled, gasping once again when you realized your heel broke.
"Great. Just what I need." you rolled your eyes. Not a good beginning to this visit, you thought.
"Oh, she's here!" you heard the warm, familiar voice belonging to your grandma.
"Nana!" you called out to your grandma as she made her way to you, surprisingly agile for her age. "Oh!" you gasped when she gave you a bone crushing hug.
"Oh, how I missed you my child!" she was already pinching your cheeks as you groaned, noticing your grandfather had just walked out on the porch.
"There's my favorite grandchild." he said with a wink and you shook your, chuckling.
"Of course I'm your favorite when I'm the only one." you laughed quietly and grandma shushed you.
"Don't ruin his jokes, it makes him happy." she nudged you with a wink and you nodded.
"Come here." your grandpa kissed your cheeks, taking a moment to look at you.
"You look all serious and business-y." he said and you chuckled, looking down at your attire.
You were still wearing the suit you'd usually wear to work and the heels that were now broken.
"My heel broke." you remembered and you grandma started laughing.
"Honey, you can forget about heels here. I hope you brought some comfortable shoes that are dirt friendly." she joked as your grandpa helped with your luggage.
As soon as you walked into the house, you were hit with an even bigger wave of nostalgia than the one slowly building in your soul while you drove towards the village. They haven't changed almost anything, all the decoration was the same, everything smelled the same and familiar, like the home you grew up in never changed.
Like you never changed.
"Are you hungry, my child?"
"Oh yes." you nodded at your grandma eagerly, happy to be eating her home-cooked food.
"Good, wash your hands and join us for dinner."
She gave you some house slippers as you threw your poor broken heels aside and after washing your hands, you joined them at the table.
"So, how is the big city treating you?" your grandpa asked and you caught them up on your work, friends, your apartment, anything about the city you thought was worth mentioning.
"How are things here?" you asked after they listened to you, interested in your new experiences.
"Oh, you know. There is always something to do here. We have the house, the garden, the chickens, the goats. We are not as young and strong as we were once before but we are used to working. Plus, someone always comes to help out." nana explained.
"Like who?" you asked absentmindedly, chewing on the salad.
"Well, do you remember Chan? He was always a nice boy, that one. He got married recently but he still comes to help out with some repairs the house needs."
"Chan got married? Wow." you chuckled, it made sense. He had the same girlfriend for years and he was older than you so you weren't that surprised.
"And of course, Hyunjin." you grandma gave you a knowing smile as your entire body froze and you almost choked on your salad.
"Hyunjin got married?!" you spat out and your grandma gasped and then started laughing.
"No, dear, no." she chuckled at your reaction. "I meant Hyunjin comes here to help a lot. He repainted the entire kitchen and living room. Helps out with the animals and the garden when he isn't working on his farm. Or working around with other people, helping them build their houses and things like that."
"Oh..." you swallowed. "So, you see him a lot?"
"Yeah, almost every day!" grandpa chuckled. "He even joined us for breakfast this morning."
You suddenly felt a knot forming in your stomach. Hyunjin spent more time in your home, with your family than you did.
"Does he... does he have someone? You know. A partner." your voice broke a little as you blinked your tears away. You hated how you always cried easily, especially when it's about Hyunjin.
"No, he only works." your grandma frowned. "That boy never stops from early in the morning until late night hours. He just works and works his days away."
Somehow, that made you feel a little more at ease even though your heart still hurt.
"He asks about you, you know." grandma added.
You almost choked on your food again.
"He does?" you swallowed quickly, deciding that your appetite is now gone.
"Yeah. He asks if you're healthy, if you're doing good."
"Oh."
The weight of your grandma's words settled in your heart, heavy like a rock even as you tried to distract yourself with washing dishes and helping her clean up.
"Your room is the same as it was always. We never touched or removed anything." your grandma smiled at you, her hand gentle on your cheek.
"You should go see Hyunjin." she added.
"I- Maybe later." your throat dried up and you needed a moment to yourself, a moment to gather your thoughts. You walked up the stairs to your room as soon as you finished cleaning up, pulling your suitcases up with you. When the door creaked open, you were greeted by your past.
Your grandparents really left everything intact.
You stopped in your tracks after closing the door, too scared to move so you wouldn't disrupt the memories you were witnessing in your mind. Countless times Hyunjin and you spent here, ever since you were kids all the way up to the end of high school and the summer before you left for good. He was everywhere in that room. He sat on your windowsill, he paced around the floor, he swayed backwards on your chair (falling on his butt one too many times), he laid on your bed, kissing you and telling you how much he loves you.
There were polaroid pictures of you on the left side of your table, the drawings he gave you as a gift, your favorite teddy bear he got you for your one year anniversary still propped up against your pillows... You opened your drawer and found your diaries, his name scribbled on the pages, on your heart. You picked up one of the polaroids as your other hand automatically went to your chest. The couple necklaces you shared, one half of a heart was still around your neck, hidden under your shirt and close to your heart, the other one was still with him or maybe it wasn't. Maybe he threw it away after you left and never came back, not even returning his calls or texts.
"Hyunjin..." you whispered as you smiled at the picture, him with his hair over his eyes trying to make a scary face and you in the back, your hands on his shoulders as you stood on your tippy toes and put your tongue out, making a silly face.
Suddenly, you were overcome by emotions and tears spilled from your eyes. You loved him your entire life. And even if you tried to escape that feeling, you never really could. Hyunjin grew roots inside your heart and he wasn't going anywhere any time soon. You let yourself cry for a moment, hugging the teddy bear as you sat on your bed.
Should you go see him?
He has every right to be mad at you and you were scared of him turning a cold shoulder. But then again, your grandma said he asks for you. Maybe he is just curious?
Either way, you weren't ready to face him yet.
You decided to unpack and shower, change into something more comfortable and hopefully catch up on sleep.
But as soon as you got into your bed, sleep wouldn't come to you, no matter how quiet and peaceful the village was in comparison to the city and how comfortable your old bed was. Your mind drifted off to that night when Hyunjin snuck in, right before your prom.
Six years ago
"Hey, little bunny." Hyunjin had climbed through the window that you left open for him, knocking down one of your books from the shelf next to it in the process.
"Hyun!" you scolded him with a chuckle.
"I know, I know. I'm trying to be quiet." he whispered, lifting his arms up in defeat.
"Come here, clumsy." you giggled and he practically skipped to you, his long arms wrapping around your smaller frame and pulling you into him.
"I'm so excited for tomorrow." your voice was muffled by his chest and he chuckled.
"Me too. I hope I don't step on your toes." he grimaced and you looked up at him, your fingers tangled in his long dark hair.
"You won't. You're a great dancer and we practiced a lot." you smiled, caressing the back of his neck and Hyunjin melted, his arms tightening around you.
"Yes, but when I'm nervous I can't control my body." he whined with a pout. "There will be other people there, looking at us and-"
"You'll do fine, trust me." you interrupted his nervous babbling. "Just imagine it's the two of us, like right now." you swayed slowly and he followed you, exhaling and pressing his forehead against yours.
"I love you, little bunny." he whispered.
"I love you too, Jinnie." you whispered back and his lips were on yours instantly. Hands explored awkwardly as you were backed into your bed, falling down with Hyunjin on top of you. You had messed around like this before, his hands under your nightgown, fingers dipping into your underwear, your hand wrapped around his length.
"H-Hyunjin?" you whimpered as he slowly pumped his fingers inside you, kissing your neck.
"Yes, doll?" he whispered back, the nickname giving you shivers.
"I'm ready. For... you know. I wanna go all the way with you." you bit on your lip as his eyes widened.
"Are you- are you sure? I can wait for you for however long you need. You don't have to feel pressured." he shook his head, pulling his fingers out.
"No, no. I am sure. I love you and I want to be yours completely." you gripped at his shoulders and Hyunjin's heart leaped out of his chest as he smiled sweetly at you.
"I want to be yours completely too. Be your first and your last. And you mine."
"Jinnie." you almost started crying from the overwhelming feelings, your lips quickly finding his. Hyunjin was a little awkward, unsure of himself and scared that he'll hurt you or do something wrong but he was still gentle, trying to put you first even though he was more excited than ever to have you like this and be connected with you.
"I have condoms in the drawer." you pointed at the nightstand and he narrowed his eyes at you.
"You were planning this?" his face became as red as a tomato.
"I mean, yeah." you nodded, the color of your cheeks matching his. "I've wanted this with you for some time but I was nervous to tell you." you admitted.
"You're so cute, bunny." Hyunjin giggled, caressing your cheek gently with his knuckles.
"Ugh." you groaned in embarrassment while he kept chuckling, reaching for the drawer.
The moment he started pushing in, the world around you disappeared and you were concentrated only on him.
"Does it hurt?" Hyunjin asked as he kept filling you up gently.
"A little." you gasped, it was definitely a bigger stretch than his fingers.
"I'm sorry." he looked guilty immediately. "Do you want me to stop?"
"N-no. Keep going." you whispered, holding onto his upper back.
Hyunjin's eyes fluttered shut when he bottomed out inside you, his entire body was buzzing, his heart was beating fast and he was trying to gather all the mental and physical strength not to finish too quickly.
"Y/n." he gasped when he finally opened his eyes and looked at you, a sweet lovestruck expression on your face, your eyes sparkling, all for him, all his.
"Hyunjin." you moaned at the way he felt inside you and the way he looked at you, like you hung all the stars in the sky just for him.
"I adore you, bunny." Hyunjin said gently and your heart bursted right then and there.
"I adore you too." you whispered back.
He slowly started moving inside you, whispering words of love and praise the entire time as you clutched onto him and returned his praises.
You've never felt like that before, completely and utterly loved by him, connected with him.
Which made it harder for you to give him the news you were supposed to tomorrow after prom.
Present time
You were rudely awakened at 5am when the rooster in your nana's backyard started crowing loudly.
"Ugh!" you forgot about all the charms of living in a village as you grabbed the pillow and put it over your face, a muffled 'shut up' pressed into it. You waited for a few moments, throwing the pillow aside and turning to your left, coming face to face with the teddy bear Hyunjin gave you, which of course you named 'Jinnie' back then, making your boyfriend laugh adoringly at you.
"Good morning, Jinnie." you said to the teddy, pulling the plushie closer to you as you hugged it and sighed. "Guess I should get up." you added with a shrug before stretching and then getting up.
You opened up your wardrobe, choosing to wear a red dress with a dainty floral print on it and got ready in your room, listening to music just like you did every day before school or a date with your boyfriend years ago. You opened up another drawer in your table and gasped when you saw the corsage that Hyunjin gave to you when he came to pick you up before prom.
You clutched it in your hand and thought back to that night, when Hyunjin came to pick you up.
Six years ago
To say Hyunjin was nervous was an understatement. He felt as if every atom of his being was about to burst into little pieces when he rang your doorbell. He was a wreck as he kept wiping his sweaty palms against his jacket, annoyed at the fact that no matter how many deep breaths he took, his heart was still hammering against his chest, ready to burst. Why was he so nervous? It was just you, his little bunny.
Oh, but he wasn't ready and he was right to be so nervous because as soon as your grandma opened the door with a smile, ushering him in, his eyes landed on you and they widened. Hyunjin felt as if the world stopped spinning, all the clocks stopped ticking, his heart quit beating and his breath got stuck in his throat. You became the only center of gravity, pulling him in towards you and nothing else around the two of you mattered.
He was completely and utterly floored and whipped for you.
Hyunjin finally understood the meaning of the word 'breathtaking' because that was the only thing that came to mind as you smiled at him so beautifully, so in love, so happy, wearing the most gorgeous dress he'd ever seen you in.
"Y/n." was the only thing he managed to say and you chuckled, your heart swelling at his reaction.
It was your turn to gawk as he came closer to you, you'd never seen him wearing a suit before and he looked even more handsome than he ever did. Your knees buckled when he stood close to you, the smell of his cologne was intoxicating but his lovestruck smile was even more mesmerizing.
Your grandparents smiled lovingly at the two of you before glancing at each other knowingly as Hyunjin gave you your corsage, gently putting it on your wrist. So many pictures were taken before you had to rush out so you wouldn't be late to the dance.
The night was magical and everything seemed possible under the fairy lights as Hyunjin and you swayed to the gentle melody of the familiar song coming from the speakers.
"Do you want to slip out after our song?" Hyunjin's plump lips brushed against your ear as he pulled you tighter into his heated body.
"Won't the chaperones notice?" you asked as you looked up at him only to find him smirking.
"We'll be stealthy." he said and you giggled.
"Right, stealthy."
"Yes, see I didn't even step on your foot!"
"Not yet." you teased him and Hyunjin pouted, whining and burying his face in your shoulder.
"Mean bunny." he tickled your sides, making you squirm and squeal.
"Fine, sorry." you giggled, knowing he wasn't actually offended. "You did a great job." you added and Hyunjin looked up at you with a sweet smile, his cheeks rosy.
"Thank you, doll. You did too." he smirked, brushing his lips against yours.
You managed to sneak out somehow while everyone was dancing to a quicker beat and you knew exactly where you were going; to your favorite spot with Hyunjin, the path to it so familiar that you could walk through it blind, the soil remembering all your footsteps.
"Hyune, um... I'm wearing heels." you whispered as he shined the path ahead with a little pocket flashlight.
"Oh, right." he thought for a moment before kneeling down. "Get on my back, doll."
"Are you sure?" you asked and he chuckled.
"Of course." he nodded eagerly and you climbed up on his back, feeling light and happy, giggles spilling from both of your lips. "Hold this." Hyunjin gave you the light and you shined it ahead as he gripped the back of your thighs and carried you.
Being a little tease, Hyunjin pretended he was going to drop you a few times only to have you almost scream as your arms wrapped tighter around him.
"Stop that!" you whined.
"Sorry, sorry bunny. I'll stop. You're just so cute." he smirked.
"If you weren't carrying me right now, you'd be in big trouble." you scolded and Hyunjin let out a laugh, your favorite tree coming into view.
"Yes, I know. Biiiig trouble." he kept chuckling and you were this close to biting his shoulder.
"Here we are, bunny." he gently put you down and wrapped his arm around you as the two of you stared at the carving in the trunk.
Hyunjin + Y/n.
Both of you laughed then, you had carved your names in when you were barely 16 and seeing it now was equally as embarrassing as it was sweet.
"Y/n?"
"Yeah?" you looked up at Hyunjin and he smiled sweetly at you.
"I promise I'll love you forever." he whispered, lifting his pinky and you giggled.
"I promise I'll love you forever too, my sweet Jinnie." you whispered back, your pinky curling around his.
Hyunjin chuckled in delight and pulled you into a sweet kiss.
You didn't have the heart to tell him you got into uni and would be leaving the village in September.
Present time
You had to go visit the tree.
"Fuck." you cursed, angrily wiping your tears away, before putting the corsage back into the drawer and slamming it shut.
Too many memories.
You quickly made your way downstairs where your nana was already serving breakfast.
"Oh, I thought you'd be sleeping more, dear." she lifted her brows in surprise.
"I thought so too." you joked, giving her a pointed look and she laughed.
"I see you forgot how it is here." nana shook her head. "When you haven't been around for so long."
"I'm sorry." you grimaced, sitting down to eat with her. "I know I should've visited more. I got caught up in studies and work and-"
"Breathe, dear." your grandma squeezed your hand with a chuckle. "It's not me who you should be explaining this to."
You gulped, knowing she was referring to Hyunjin.
"Where's grandpa?" you asked.
"He's out back, working."
"I was thinking of going for a walk before lunch. I'll make sure to come back though to help out."
"Sure, dear. You haven't been here for so long, you should catch up with the place and the people." grandma nodded with a wink and that was exactly what you planned to do.
It was around 7am when you finally walked out of the house, inhaling the fresh air you were deprived of in the big city. It was a bit chilly in the morning so you draped a light jacket over your shoulders and let your legs lead you through the familiar streets.
You still didn't want to see Hyunjin so you went the opposite direction of his house, trying to stick to the shadows for now, just to have a little more peace to yourself and mentally prepare for the inevitable encounters of everyone you grew up with.
It was painful. Walking all the familiar paths you walked through before with him, it was as if you could hear his laughter echoing down the street. Your heart squeezed in your chest when you realized just where your legs had taken you.
The tree.
It was still there, as tall as ever, its branches familiar as you and Hyunjin had laid under them multiple times, kissing, talking, laughing, holding each other close. You walked closer, your eyes brimming with tears when you saw the carving. Hyunjin + Y/n. Forever.
The word you had added that night after prom.
You cursed yourself mentally for crying again and being so overcome with emotions. You couldn't stand there for too long and were about to leave when something caught your eye. Another carving, smaller and almost unnoticeable on the right side of yours. You leaned in closer to inspect it and your heart almost stopped.
Hyunjin.
Nothing else, just his name was carved into the wood and you felt fresh tears forming in your eyes. Leaving was definitely a mistake, maybe the biggest mistake you ever made, especially after the let down you experienced in the city. You wiped your tears away again and decided to leave the tree be, your heart hurting at the thought of Hyunjin sitting under the branches alone, carving his name and wondering why you had never called back or came to see him. You walked away, back down the path and into the village, deep in your thoughts. Lost in the memories of what once was you didn't even realize where you came, as your legs walked on autopilot.
Only when the familiar light blue house came into view, you snapped from your thoughts, eyes wide and heart dropping into your stomach.
"Shit!" you whisper-yelled. This was the only house you wanted to avoid and yet you were standing right in front of it. As far as you knew, Hyunjin's parents didn't live there anymore, he was living in the big house completely alone, his only companions his animals.
Your knees almost gave out as you stared, before getting spooked when you heard barking. A big black dog ran to the fence, barking at you in warning. You had never seen it before so Hyunjin must've gotten it after you went to the city. You backed away as the dog kept barking at you in a not-so-friendly manner. You turned and started walking away, hoping Hyunjin didn't hear that or wasn't home because you still weren't ready to see him let alone talk to him.
Then, you heard a familiar voice.
"Easy girl, easy." you assumed he was talking to the dog as the barking subsided immediately and you stopped in your tracks.
"Well, well." you heard then. "If it isn't little bunny."
Your heart leaped out of your chest. You hadn't heard that nickname in years.
"Don't even wanna say hi?" Hyunjin continued and you heard the sound of the little fence door opening. Slowly, you turned around and basically almost fainted.
This wasn't your sweet, shy and little Jinnie. You almost didn't recognize him as you stared at him with eyes wide and mouth agape.
His long hair was gone, replaced by a neat buzzcut that was also bleached, he had piercings on his ears, his arms were big and muscular, a few tattoos here and there, visible in the tanktop he wore. He looked taller, bigger, more manly. Your knees buckled and the more you looked at him the more you felt lightheaded.
Hyunjin smirked, noticing how you were salivating and a little chuckle escaped his lips.
"Gonna catch flies like that." he teased and you closed your mouth, attempting to compose yourself as you stood up straighter. His eyes then traveled all over your frame, the teasing glint inside them turning into something softer until they fell on the necklace and he felt as if the ground underneath his feet almost gave out.
You were still wearing it. Just like he was, his half heart hidden under his top.
"Hi." you said quietly. "You look different."
"A lot can change in six years." he stated, still keeping a good distance away from you.
"It can." you stepped back, feeling suffocated by his presence as you tried to read his face and tone of voice. Was there anger? Regret? Did he resent you?
"You're different too." a small smile appeared on his lips.
"How so?" you tilted your head to the left, thinking how you pretty much looked the same since the end of high school.
"You've gotten even more beautiful." Hyunjin said like it was nothing and you were sure you were having a heart attack in that moment.
"I- That- Thank you." you had no idea what to say. "I have to go... Help nana with lunch. And stuff."
Hyunjin smiled wider.
"I'll see you later then, bunny."
"Sure." you turned around so quickly that you almost snapped your neck. Hyunjin watched with bathed breath as you scurried away from him.
You finally came back.
-
"Did you see Hyunjin?" nana asked as you helped her clean around the kitchen after lunch.
"Accidentally, yes." you said and she chuckled.
"I never understood why you broke up, you two are made for each other." she said and you almost dropped the plate you were holding.
"We didn't... actually break up. I just left."
"I thought you were still together back then, I was wondering why he never went to visit you or you him. I only realized you weren't together once he asked me if I knew where you lived in the city. Which I forgot the address, dear, so I hope I didn't do anything wrong by not telling him."
"No, no, nana. You did nothing wrong. It was my fault. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I'm not so sure anymore." your eyes welled up with tears as you clutched onto the counter.
"Oh, honey." your grandma was instantly by your side.
"I told him I would come back. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me now and wanted nothing to do with me." you sniffled as nana wiped your tears away.
"Oh dear, Hyunjin doesn't hate you. He talks very fondly of you always. That boy still loves you."
"He- He does?" you thought back to your encounter today.
"A love like that doesn't disappear overnight. Or over the span of six years." your grandma teased, making you chuckle through your tears.
"If you say so."
"Talk to him. He is coming to dinner tonight anyways." she announced.
"He is what?!" you almost yelled.
"He usually joins us for dinner. At least a few days in the week."
You panicked immediately.
"I have to go get ready then!"
Nana bursted into laughter as she watched you frantically run up the stairs.
"What was that about?" grandpa came in, looking up at the metaphorical dust that you left behind after running.
"Oh you know. Love." grandma winked at him and he shook his head with a smile.
Shit.
Hyunjin is coming over for dinner. You had to look your best.
You've gotten even more beautiful.
His words rang in your head and your cheeks became red instantly, heart beating hard in your chest. You quickly opened your wardrobe and began throwing clothes everywhere, your room soon looking as if a tornado had passed through it. You tried on multiple outfits but with every single one you found something wrong. The color was too bright, the shirt was too big, the pants looked weird...
So you settled on another dress, a pretty and white flowy one with yellow flowers on it, the shape of it accentuating your frame, your bare legs on display. You decided to wear heels too and put on some makeup. You were so nervous as if you hadn't already been his.
While you were doing your hair, you stared into your reflection and remembered that warm summer night when you told Hyunjin you were leaving.
Six years ago
Hyunjin and you sat on a blanket, staring up at the stars shimmering in the dark sky.
"Jinnie." you swallowed nervously.
"Yes, bunny?" he smiled, playing with your fingers.
"I have something to tell you."
"Oh? Okay." he nodded, sitting up.
"Um. It's been weighing on me since prom."
"You sound serious." Hyunjin's expression turned into one of worry.
"It is serious. And I didn't tell you earlier because I was afraid of how you'd react." your heart started beating fast. "I got into my uni of choice."
"Bunny! You did?" he smiled wide. "Why didn't you tell me that? You know I support you and I'm proud of you."
"I know. It's just that... I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be back." you said. "We talked about this briefly before but... I don't want to stay in the village. There is nothing for me here, I mean career wise. Meanwhile... You decided to work with your father and build your life here."
Hyunjin's smile dropped.
"What are you saying?" his voice sounded strained.
"Are we... Are we breaking up?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes.
"No. No. I don't want to. I don't know." you bit your lip and looked away from him.
"Y/n. Please, don't do this. I've known no one but you my whole life. You're the one I love and the one I promised forever to. We even talked about building a life together, getting married, having kids."
"I know, I know. You're my first love, Jinnie. And those were all nice daydreams but there comes a time when you need to grow up."
"Daydreams? Bunny. Those were plans." his bottom lip trembled and he frowned. "This really sounds like you're breaking up with me."
"No, no." tears started spilling down your cheeks when you saw the hurt in his eyes and realized how harsh your words sounded. "Just... I'm confused. I don't know what to do." you put your hands over your face, a sob escaping your lips.
Hyunjin's eyes softened and he put his hand on your upper back, gently caressing you.
"Hey, look. I know you're scared now, this is a big change. But, we'll figure it out together. You go finish your studies, do what you always wanted to. But please don't throw away what we have. I'll always wait for you, I'll wait until you come visit or I can visit you. We can call each other, we don't have to grow apart in order for you to grow."
"I guess not." his words hit you hard as you looked up at him.
"Don't cry, baby. I love you and I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of my little bunny." he talked, wiping your tears away.
"Jinnie. I love you too." you clutched onto his shirt and cried into his chest.
Oh, how you were going to miss him.
Present time
But after you left, you never even contacted him.
You knew how cruel that was but you thought it was for the best. If you were going to build a life in the city and he was going to stay behind in the village, it was better off like this.
Childhood crushes and high school sweethearts don't always last, do they?
But, your heart hurt so badly every day you were away from Hyunjin. You wanted to forget him, stop loving him but you couldn't no matter how hard you tried. Every time you thought you were ready to take off the couple necklace, your hands would stop functioning. You couldn't bring yourself to do that, the necklace felt as if it was a part of you and despite being away from Hyunjin you knew your heart would always belong to him.
With a sigh, you finished getting ready, wondering if he could really still love you after you'd hurt him like that.
Before you could come down, you heard voices under your window and you stalked towards it curiously. It was closed so you couldn't understand what they were saying but Hyunjin stood there with your grandpa, his back turned to you. You gasped a little, noticing then how his shoulders and upper back also got wider, the black shirt he wore almost ripping at the seams.
"Give me strength." you prayed to whoever was listening before you decided to stop hiding and finally made your way downstairs.
"Yes, I'll definitely ask Chan to help out with the fence, I think he won't be busy this weekend." Hyunjin said to your grandpa as they walked into the kitchen.
"Great! That's settled then!" grandpa clapped his hands with a satisfied smile. Hyunjin looked up at you then and stopped walking, giving you the elevator eyes.
"Good evening." he smirked a little.
"Evening." you said breathlessly and you grandma chuckled.
"Why are you two acting so formal?" grandpa asked as you sat down.
"Leave them be. They just encountered each other after a long time." nana scolded him and he gave a little shrug.
Hyunjin was sitting right across from you and you felt as if there was nowhere to hide. He kept looking at you curiously and you felt so awkward, trying to avoid his eyes as all of you started taking food out on the plates and eating.
Hyunjin couldn't calm his heart down. All the feelings that he carried inside of him every single day, from dawn to late night, were now amplified a thousand times. All those nights he had thought about you and seen you in his dreams couldn't compare to you actually being in front of him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, he missed you deeply. The love he always had for you never subsided, it only grew more even while you were apart.
Though, he knew that there were things the two of you needed to talk about, he decided not to think about the hurtful side of it, tossing it in the back of his mind as he continued to bask in your presence. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your hands, the way your brows creased when you asked a question to your nana, the way you looked up at him timidly only to look away, the way you nervously chewed on your bottom lip, the way that necklace he gave you laid on your skin, still there, as if you had never left, a sign that you perhaps still loved him as much as he loved you.
"So, how is the city treating ya?" Hyunjin asked you suddenly, eyes trained on you as they have been the entire evening.
"It's... okay." you answered but Hyunjin knew you were lying. He knew when you wore a fake smile and he knew the tone of your voice once you tried to convince yourself you're fine.
"Oh yeah? Got that job you always wanted, hm?" he asked and you looked up at him, trying to see if he was mocking you or resenting you but he looked genuinely curious.
"I did." you answered shortly, a knot forming in your stomach. "I got what I wanted." you forced another smile.
"I'm glad you did." he smiled and you felt the urge to cry again. You wondered what was wrong with you and shook your head, trying to will yourself to smile back at him.
"I always thought the two of you would get married." your nana chimed in, making you almost choke on a piece of bread. Hyunjin chuckled and looked at you.
"We're still young." he smirked a little and you started praying that the floor opens up and swallows you whole.
"You two remind me of us when we were younger." grandpa nodded with a smile.
No, you thought, please stop.
You were really going to start crying.
"Excuse me. I need some air." you stood up abruptly, the chair almost falling over behind you.
Hyunjin watched as you ran out of the front door and he stood up too, excusing himself and following you.
You stood on the porch, hugging yourself and sniffling.
"Y/n?" Hyunjin approached you cautiously. You quickly wiped your tears away with the sleeve of your cardigan before turning to look at him.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Sure." you nodded but he knew you were crying.
"You wanna take a walk?" Hyunjin asked, biting on his lip and you chuckled, shaking your head.
"Yeah, why not." you nodded, maybe it was time to stop avoiding him.
You didn't even discuss where you were going to go, you just started walking together in the same direction you always did while you grew up here. It was quiet for a while, only the song of the crickets filling up your ears, a few distant barks and the breeze rustling through the leaves.
"So, what have you been doing?" you asked, trying to break the ice. You couldn't believe you felt so awkward with someone you could talk to the easiest with, out of anyone in your entire life.
"Me? Oh, you know... Working around the farm. I repaired the entire house with some of my mates. It was in a really bad shape, if you remember. We re-did everything, even the roofing and the pipes. Repainted the entire place, changed the furniture... So, it's now like a new house. And I have horses and chickens. A garden. I mean, I work all day, help out others too." he chuckled. "My parents are in the city, they visit sometimes. But, mostly I'm here with Rina, she has been my best friend for three years now."
"Rina?" your stomach dropped instantly.
"Yes, that overprotective black dog that barked at you." Hyunjin smirked at your expression.
"Oh... That's Rina." you said absentmindedly, finally glancing at him.
Your heart stopped.
The necklace. He must've unbuttoned one more button while you were walking, making the other half of the heart visible under his collarbone. He never stopped wearing it either. Suddenly, your stomach filled up with butterflies.
"She's wary of strangers coming near me."
Ouch.
"Yeah." you turned away, the butterflies turning into a feeling of nausea.
"I mean, strangers to her." Hyunjin clarified, realizing how he sounded.
"Yeah, I understand." you gave him a smile you hoped looked real, because you were seconds away from crying. "You still paint?" you decided to change the subject.
"Oh yeah, all the time." he smiled. "Enough about me. What about you?"
"Me? I also work all day. In the office. It's... interesting, I guess. I bought an apartment recently, it's really modern." you talked, realizing how empty your words sounded then. You had no idea what to tell Hyunjin. He had all these projects and people who care about him, animals he cares for and his hobbies. Meanwhile, all you had was a job you ended up hating and no one to come home to.
"I travel a lot." you added, trying to fill up the silence. "For work but also for fun, with some of my coworkers. We went all the way to Bali last year. It was a fun trip, you know. Stuff like that."
"Sounds exhilarating." Hyunjin said, sounding anything but. "Anyone special in your life?"
Why did he ask that.
"No, nobody." you quickly answered.
Hyunjin was hoping you'd say that.
"Good. I mean- Me neither." he coughed awkwardly and stopped walking. You were about to ask why he stopped when you noticed where you were.
"Oh." you let out a chuckle, your face warming up.
You hadn't even realized you came to the only park in the village, and not just that, you were standing in front of your and Hyunjin's bench, where you used to sit after school, talking and kissing.
And well, you sat here on many evenings just like this one, making out. Your face started burning suddenly.
"Shall we sit?" Hyunjin asked and you nodded reluctantly as you felt like you were going to throw up from nerves. The two of you sat down, the silence stretching between you again.
"I-" Hyunjin opened his mouth, then closed them, repeating the action a few times, his brows furrowing and cheeks rosy, his hands gripping the edge of the bench like he was struggling to get his words out. You were almost swallowed by the nerves you felt in that moment, you were scared that he was going to tell you off, just what you deserve.
"I tried to find you." he let out a shaky exhale. "You covered up your tracks pretty well." he scoffed. "I mean, I got the message. You didn't want to see me ever again. And I'd be fine with that if only you gave me a reason, told me why you just disappeared from my life when you've been a part of it since forever. I thought for some time that you have completely abandoned me. But, somewhere deep in my soul I knew you'd be back one day, Y/n."
"Hyunjin..." your bottom lip trembled as your eyes watered. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I made a huge mistake. And I would totally understand if you hated me or resented me and never wanted to forgive me. Just know I felt bad the entire time and I still do." you were full on crying and feeling embarrassed, you looked away from Hyunjin.
"I could never hate you, little bunny." his voice sounded soft and you willed yourself to look at him while you wiped your tears away even though they kept coming. "And I forgave you a long time ago." he whispered. You noticed he was sitting closer to you and your body trembled.
"You did? Why?" you asked quietly.
"Because it's you." he answered simply and you felt annoyed, wanting to hear more. But, before you could ask Hyunjin stood up abruptly.
"Let's meet up tomorrow. Have a picnic like we always used to." he said and you stood up too.
You stared at him and kept thinking, could things go back to how they were before?
You felt as if there was something he wasn't telling you yet, there was no way he forgave you so easily for abandoning him.
"What do you say?" Hyunjin looked at you hopefully.
"Sure. Yeah." you nodded, your body swirling with feelings of confusion, excitement, nostalgia, happiness, sadness... You had no idea how to explain it.
"Great. I'll come to your house around 10am."
"Sounds good."
"Let me walk you home." he added, the two of you walking and talking about the village, who stayed and who moved, which new stores opened and all the other insignificant little things just to avoid the big elephant that needed to be addressed.
"I'll see you tomorrow, bunny." Hyunjin put his hands in his jeans pockets, trying to look nonchalant.
"See you." you hurried inside.
"And that smile?" your nana's voice scared you.
"Oh, nana! Ugh, nothing. I'm just going to see Hyunjin tomorrow." you answered quickly.
"Oh. Hyunjin." she smirked knowingly. "Well, have a good night." she winked before leaving to her room.
You hoped you were going to be able to sleep tonight.
You managed to sleep through the rooster's wake up call, opening your eyes just in time to get ready for your picnic date.
Was it a date? You had no idea what was going to happen but still you wore another pretty dress and put on your makeup. You decided to wear extra shiny lipgloss to make your lips stand out, hopefully get Hyunjin's attention. You felt giddy, like you were that same school girl meeting up her boyfriend, the love of her life.
"Oh, dear you look so pretty." your grandma noted when you came downstairs.
"Thank you, nana." you smiled.
"Are you gonna eat anything?"
"No, Hyunjin told me not to worry and that he'd bring everything."
"Okay, well have fun you two!" she winked at you and you kissed her cheek before skipping out of the house and towards the street where Hyunjin said he'd wait for you.
He wasn't there yet so you stood in place, shifting from foot to foot and wondering why he is late since he'd always been punctual. It was already almost 10:15 and you were beginning to think he had played a cruel joke on you. You were already tearing up at the thought of that but maybe you deserved it after the way you treated him.
You were about to turn around and leave but you heard heavy footsteps running towards you.
"Y/n! I'm so sorry for being late!" it was a breathless Hyunjin, leaning his palms against his knees as he scrunched his face up and tried to calm his heart. "I ran into Chan on the way and he needed help carrying some things, I couldn't say no." he swallowed, straightening up.
Just then you noticed the backpack on his shoulders and the thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead, the tanktop was there again and your eyes followed all the veins popping out.
"Oh, it's okay." you shook your head, feeling stupid.
"Shall we?" he smiled and you nodded, letting him lead the way. His eyes lingered on your lips for a while as he bit on his, before starting to walk. It was clear to you where you were going, the tree was your picnic and stargazing spot for years.
"I saw you by the tree the other day." Hyunjin said, putting his backpack down and opening it.
"Oh? You did?" your heart climbed up your throat.
"Yeah." he smiled. " I thought I was hallucinating."
You chuckled, feeling the need to smack his arm like you always did when he made you laugh but you refrained from doing so.
"Nope, I'm here." you said, helping him put the blanket down.
"I'm glad you are." he said and the two of you sat down, Hyunjin taking everything that he had packed out; fruit salad, sandwiches, coffee. You didn't feel like you deserved this. You wanted to ask him so many things. Like why did he carve his name alone in the tree trunk, why did he seem so normal about all of this, why didn't he just yell at you, like any other person would after being hurt.
"Hyunjin?" you gulped, poking around the plastic container with the fruit. He gave you an unreadable look, his brows furrowing.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" he said and you chuckled nervously.
"Well, that's your name."
"Yeah but you always called me nicknames. Like Jinnie or Hyune. And other things." he looked at the field of flowers swaying in front of you.
You hadn't answered so he turned to look at you.
"Why aren't you yelling at me or cursing me out?" you asked and Hyunjin's eyes widened a little.
"Why would I do that?" he tilted his head.
"Because I promised I'd love you forever and I left. I didn't even come back for six years, I thought I was doing a good thing. That I'd be better off in the city and you'd be better off without me. That I'd be able to move on and forget you. I thought I'd never come back here but after what happened-" your shut your lips tightly, eyes watering. "After being disappointed with everything I thought I wanted in my life, I came back here and expected to see that you moved on or even gotten married. I expected you to hate me, yell at me, curse at me. But here we are, sitting under our tree, having a picnic like I never broke your heart and mine." you were now full on crying, your bottom lip trembling and hands shaking.
Hyunjin observed you with a wistful look in his eyes before smiling softly.
"You wanna know why I'm not yelling or cursing at you?" he said, leaning closer to you.
"W-why?" you stuttered, he got into your private space and even though he changed and grew, he still had that comforting scent of Hyunjin, the one that brought you so much comfort and nostalgia.
"Because of this." he reached towards you and gently gripped the pendant of your necklace between his fingertips. "You're still wearing our necklace. And that tells me everything I need to know. Bunny, I've known you my whole life, I've loved you my whole life. I knew you wouldn't be happy in the city and I knew you'd come back here to me one day. I know that because we were made for each other and because I could feel you inside me every day. I just knew our story wasn't over, it was just beginning."
You were at a loss of words, crying and sobbing as Hyunjin talked, feeling embarrassed and also like you wanted to roll down the hill from excitement. You wiped at your face, trying not to screw up the makeup you worked so hard on while letting his words settle inside your head.
"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you shrieked suddenly, grabbing onto his arm on accident.
"Y/n." he laughed as you kept squealing and gripping at his bicep while a little bee flew around your body. "It's just a bee, don't be scared."
"Please, make it go away." you whined.
"What can I do, a bee found a pretty flower." Hyunjin smirked at you then and you looked up at him with your eyes squinted before slapping his arm. The loud sound made you jolt a little and you looked down at the muscle, something fluttering inside you. Your cheeks warmed up instantly. Hyunjin smirked, his other hand cupping your jaw gently as he made you look at him.
"You didn't break your promise, doll. You still love me." he smiled.
"I do." you confessed quietly and his eyes sparkled a little as he leaned in closer. His eyes fluttered, his cheeks became rosy and his warm breath caressed your lips. You jolted away suddenly, afraid and you had no idea why.
"I'm sorry!" you said quickly, placing your palm over your heart. Hyunjin looked a little confused, his fingers twitching as his hands longed to comfort you in any way they could.
"I got nervous." you said and Hyunjin laughed.
"Don't laugh at me!" you whined with a pout, kicking your feet a little and that made him laugh even harder. "Stop it." you crossed your arms over your chest with a little huff escaping your lips.
"You're just so cute, bunny." how many times has he told you that and it still made your heart flutter. "It's okay. I waited for you for six years, I can wait a little more."
"I just didn't expect things to go like this." you swallowed and Hyunjin scooted closer to you, tentatively touching your fingertips with his. That was enough for you to feel the electricity running through your body.
"I understand. We'll fall back into us in no time."
"You think so?" you asked, inching closer to him, your fingers now playing with his.
"I know so." he smiled confidently. "Just have to ask one question."
"Anything." you nodded.
"Are you back for good or just the anniversary?"
You looked down and took in a deep breath.
"Please don't tell this to my grandparents yet. But I am back for good. I quit my job and sold my apartment, I didn't tell them anything because I am just waiting for the right moment." your voice trembled.
"Didn't something happen?" Hyunjin asked, leaning down to look at your face.
"Just... People were disgusting. The job was depressing. The apartment was cold. The city was lonely. And maybe a part of me hoped you'd be here waiting for me no matter how selfish that is. Because, I don't think I could ever stop loving you, Jinnie. Even if someone wiped away my entire memory I would still have you engraved inside my heart."
"Bunny." Hyunjin cupped your cheeks. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone anything. I'm sad you went through all of that but it brought you back here, didn't it?"
You nodded.
"And I am glad it did." he leaned in again.
"Ack! The bee!" you squealed as the little creature came back to buzzing around you.
"Silly." Hyunjin chuckled under his breath, 'shielding' you from the scary bee.
You felt as if a stone has been lifted off of your heart as the two of you continued catching up and reminiscing of the good old days. Hours passed by so quickly that you almost didn't realize it was lunch time.
"Nana is expecting me at home for lunch. Do you wanna join us?" you asked with a timid smile.
"I'd love to but Chan invited me to his house for lunch today. We'll come to you tomorrow, he is also excited to see you again, you know that you were always like a little sister to him."
"Oh, I'm excited to see him too." you chuckled.
You couldn't believe that everyone has welcomed you with open arms after you left like that and you were still trying to come to terms that you won't be going back to the city ever again.
When Hyunjin said him and Chan would come around to help your grandpa repair the fence out back, you totally forgot about the fact that Hyunjin would be in a sleeveless top, flexing his muscles and wiping away his sweat constantly. Summer was knocking at the door and the sun was high in the sky. You wore the red dress from the first day, the one Hyunjin stared at so intently when you stood outside of his house. When Chan saw you he made a funny squealing noise, running up to you and picking you up as if you were paper doll, spinning you around as you screamed at him to put you down.
"Aww little Y/n is back!" he pinched your cheeks and you smacked his hands away with a pout.
"I'm only three years younger than you, bro." you emphasized and he laughed.
"I'm glad to see you here. I was beginning to think our Hyunjinnie would die alone." he smirked and Hyunjin punched his side with his fist mumbling a 'shut up or else' and you let out a laugh.
"Congrats on getting married, old man." you smirked and Hyunjin was glad you teased Chan back, a snicker escaping his lips.
"Didn't you say a moment ago it was only three years difference?" he smirked back and you exhaled, rolling your eyes playfully.
"Enough chit-chat. Time to work, boys." you chuckled, sitting at the table your granparents put in the backyard. It was placed under a tree that gave a good shade to it, so it wasn't as hot as it would be but for you it felt like you were enveloped by the sun itself.
Hyunjin was working in the sunlight, his soft skin glistening with sweat almost making him look ethereal and unreal. His muscles were flexing constantly as he moved and lifted stuff up, the veins popping out and now visible everywhere on his arms, hands and even his neck. You were feeling very hot and bothered, feeling like you couldn't breathe properly as your legs pressed together. He glanced at you a few times and you saw the little smirk on his face.
He was provoking you on purpose, the little tease.
Two can play this game, you thought and got up, entering the house so you could find a little towel. You took that time to put on more lipgloss and adjust your dress so your cleavage was more visible.
"There." you nodded to yourself with a smirk before walking back outside and straight towards Hyunjin.
"It's hot, isn't it?" your voice sounded sweet, dripping with honey as you hovered over him where he kneeled, working on the fence. He looked up at you, covering his forehead with his hand so the sun doesn't get into his eyes. His mouth went dry instantly, your bare thighs were right in front of his eyes and your chest on display as you leaned over him.
"Hot. Yes." he managed to say.
"Let me help you with that, Jinnie." you smirked, leaning down a little more as you started gently patting at his forehead, wiping the sweat off and he just sat there breathing heavily as you kept going lower, patting his neck now, noticing how he leaned into your touch, how his eyes fluttered and his breath hitched.
"Better?" you moved away suddenly and he snapped from his trance.
"Y-Yeah."
"Thirsty?" you asked, louder so Chan hears it too.
"Yes!" Chan yelled, his back turned to you thankfully.
You smirked as Hyunjin gulped, staring after you as you turned around towards the house to make some lemonade for the boys. Hyunjin couldn't stop staring at you when they took a break, munching on some cookies your nana made and drinking the fresh lemonade. His eyes fixated on your shiny lips and he longed to taste you once again. Chan kept yapping about his wife and farm enthusiastically and you kept nodding and chuckling all the while Hyunjin didn't even hear a word that came out of Chan's mouth.
It was almost sundown when the boys were done and nana invited them to stay over for dinner, ushering them both to first wash their hands thoroughly before touching any food. The atmosphere was warm and homely, a happy feeling swelling inside your chest. You were home, where you were always supposed to be, where you belonged, with Hyunjin.
"I'll be right back." you stood up after dinner, running upstairs to fix your makeup.
Hyunjin waited for a moment before he followed you to your room. You walked out of the bathroom when he appeared on the doorway, leaning there with a fond smile on his face.
"It looks like a time capsule in here." he looked around in wonder, taking a tentative step inside.
"You haven't been up here?" you asked, eyebrows raised as he looked around, taking in all the memories you two had created together.
"No, your grandparents kept it closed. There was no need for me to be here." Hyunjin's eyes lit up when he looked at your bed. "Jinnie! You kept him!" he pointed to your teddy bear, walking in and picking it up.
"Of course I did. I kept everything."
"Even those cute diaries?" Hyunjin smirked. "Dear diary, today Jinnie and I held hands for the first time as boyfriend and girlfriend. Everyone saw us walking to school together-"
"Shut up!" you squealed, ripping the teddy away from him and smacking him with it multiple times as he laughed at your red cheeks.
"What? It was cute." he giggled, slinking away from your attack.
"It's embarrassing. Even more because you still remember what I wrote. Are you sure you haven't been up here?" you teased, putting Jinnie back on the bed and walking to your table.
"I haven't since the last time we were here together." Hyunjin was behind you suddenly, his voice low as his lips brushed against your ear. You gasped, remembering the last night you spent here with him, on top of him as he guided your hips against his slowly, wanting to make it last as long as possible so you never forget how he feels.
"Right." you turned abruptly, the back of your thighs colliding with the table as he hovered over you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off of his body.
He smelled so good even after working in the sun almost all day and his skin looked like it needed to be touched, kissed, bitten. A zap of electricity ran through your body as Hyunjin leaned in even closer, his breath mingling with yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and then-
"Come to the lake with me tomorrow afternoon." his lips almost brushed against yours before he leaned away, leaving you frustrated.
"What?" you were lost momentarily.
"The lake. Let's meet there." he said and straightened up.
"Sure." you said and he smirked devilishly.
Just what was he planning now?
"Well, I gotta go home make sure Rina has her dinner and walk. See you tomorrow, doll."
With that, he left your room, his scent lingering all around you, making you want to roll in it and have him close. You couldn't wait for tomorrow.
-
The lake wasn't too far away from your house either, only a 15 minute walk full of chatter and laughter. Your bare arm brushed against Hyunjin's a few times, making you feel like your skin burned whenever it touched his. It almost felt as if everything was going back to normal, like it was before but at the same time you couldn't ignore the things that had changed about Hyunjin.
It was clear; he was no longer a boy, he was a man.
The way he carried himself and the way he spoke was more confident and masculine than that shy awkward Jinnie that tripped over his feet and his words, his cheeks constantly red in your presence. But the way he looked at you full of adoration, that had never changed.
"What made you cut your hair?" you asked as the two of you approached the lake. Hyunjin's hand instanly ran over his head as he laughed.
"It's kinda hard to work with all that hair flying everywhere. It was a nuisance, really. And... You seemed to like it a lot, you always played with it, braided it... But when you left, I figured there was no point in keeping it so I shaved it off."
"Oh." you sighed.
"You don't like it?" he asked cutely, the two of you stopping near the lake.
"No, no, I do. It looks very manly." you said, your cheeks burning up. You didn't say how you thought it accentuated all his beautiful, sharp features, his jawline and his neck that was so enticing to you.
"It does, hm?" he smirked, leaning in closer.
"Yeah." you leaned back a little, your stomach doing flips.
Hyunjin snickered and leaned away with a smirk.
"I have a dare for you." he said and you raised your eyebrow at him.
Hyunjin looked around before smirking at you again, getting into your personal space.
"I dare you to swim naked with me." he said and you almost stopped functioning.
"What? Are you crazy?" you punched his arm but it was more just a tap to him as he didn't even budge, chuckling at you as he crossed his arms over his chest. God, his arms.
"It's not like I haven't seen it all anyways." he said and you gasped.
"Oh my god." you looked away from him, your heart beating hard. "Okay, but only if we leave our underwear on."
"Alright, deal." he smirked and took his shirt off, tossing it aside.
You shrieked, turning away from him because you weren't sure if your heart could take it. Hyunjin laughed, getting rid of his pants without a care in the world.
"Don't get shy, you saw it all." he said and you took a deep breath in before looking back at him.
It's all yours, Hyunjin thought but bit his tongue.
Your eyes went wide and your lips parted in a gasp. Hyunjin was always lean and athletic, but now he was even more chiseled, his thighs were more muscular too, all the little tattoos he had hidden were now visible to you. And the worse thing was that you could see the bulge in his boxers so you averted your eyes, feeling like you might've stopped breathing for a second or two.
"Your turn." he nodded at you with a knowing smirk and you scrambled to take off your dress, feeling embarrassed for some reason. You didn't wear any flashy underwear, just regular black panties and a matching bra that only had a few lacy flowers at the top. It was enough to make Hyunjin drool.
"Beautiful." he muttered quietly, it was your body that he knew very well, the one he mapped out with caresses and kisses, your skin that he marked with his teeth, you who he held in his arms countless times.
"What did you say?" you didn't hear him, shivering a little despite the sun still being up.
"Nothing." he smiled. "Let's get in the water."
You nodded and followed him as he got into the water first, hissing at the coldness before he reached his hands towards you to help you get in.
"Is it very cold?" you asked and he chuckled.
"We swam here multiple times, you know how cold the water is. Just get in, we'll warm up." he encouraged you.
"Fine." you rolled your eyes in fake annoyance as you grabbed onto his hands, warmth filling you up from the simple touch, even though the water was almost freezing cold.
"Motherfucker!" you hissed when it touched your stomach and Hyunjin laughed, dipping in and splashing you a little.
"Don't." you warned but it was to no avail, Hyunjin had that familiar mischievous look on his face, eyes sparkly and dimples showing as he lifted his hands and splashed you harder.
"Hyune!" you shrieked and returned the favor, splashing him back.
"Ah!" he screamed out, followed by a series of giggles as he shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. "I'll get you for that." he added, swimming towards you.
Another squeal left your lips as you dipped in and started swimming away, Hyunjin's laughter ringing behind you. How you missed the sound of that. Just as you thought you got away from him, you felt his hands grabbing at your waist as he pulled you closer to him, the water splashing loudly as you flailed your arms and screamed, giggling. His strong arms wrapped around your middle and he pulled you flush against his body, skin against skin and you melted, grabbing onto his hands and resting your palms over them.
"I missed you like crazy." his lips brushed against the side of your neck. "You have no idea just how much." they pressed gently into your skin.
"I missed you too." your voice came out breathy as Hyunjin kissed the droplets of water rolling down your neck.
"Yeah? Show me how much." he turned you around so quickly that you gasped and grabbed onto his shoulders.
You wanted to say something, anything but you were already too far gone so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his around your waist and pulled you into him. It was as if every atom of your being craved to be close to him, starved for years and now finally feeding the hunger and need you had for Hyunjin.
No matter how many time Hyunjin held you, it always made your stomach flip and it was no different now. You felt how hard his heart was beating against his chest and his eyes darkened just a little as he observed you. Your hand touched the back of his head, fingertips pressing against the soft, fuzzy buzzcut. His eyes fluttered and he leaned in, the tip of his nose brushing yours gently before his lips touched yours.
Everything came back. The first time you saw Hyunjin shyly smiling at you when you were five, the times you did your homework together after class only to end up playing instead of learning, the times you walked through the entire village, like it was all yours, the park, the lake, the street, the tree. The first kiss you shared that was timid and awkward but still sweet because it was with him, the times he held you close, loving you, deep inside you and wrapped around you, all the time he was there for you, holding your hand, wiping your tears away, making plans of the future he wanted to share with you. It was your Jinnie.
The only man you ever loved.
"Bunny, what's wrong?" you didn't even realize you were crying and Hyunjin cupped your face gently with his cold hands.
"I love you." you said, lifting the last of the weight. Hyunjin's body trembled against you.
"I love you." he whispered on your lips, kissing you harder as you pressed as close as you could to each other.
"You really don't resent me for leaving?" you asked when you parted for air.
"No, bunny, I know you just wanted to finish your studies, try your hand at a career like that. I mean, you could've done all that with me by your side even if it was a long distance relationship. You know I would support you. But, I get it. You thought you'd never come back here and that I would never leave."
"Hyunjin, I'm sorry." you cried again. "I don't deserve you."
"Shh, yes you do. Yes you do, bunny. You know me better than anyone, you were there for me always whenever I was going through a hard time."
"I wasn't there for the last six years."
"You're here now." Hyunjin kissed you again in an attempt to soothe you and distract you and it was working as you melted against his lips, soon forgetting about everything that was bothering you as the world disappeared like it always did with him.
Hyunjin's tongue collided with yours, the familiar taste of him waking up all of your senses as he gripped you harder and kissed you like his entire life depended on it.
"Bunny." he smiled, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Jinnie." you whispered and he pecked your lips once more before swimming backwards with a smirk.
"Catch me!" Hyunjin teased, swimming faster and you let out a noise of protest, knowing you weren't gonna be able to. "Catch me or you lose your dress!"
"What?!" you shrieked as he laughed, swimming towards the shore and quickly grabbing onto the stones.
"Hyunjin, don't you dare!" you yelled when he got out of the water, almost slipping as he laughed and ran to grab all your clothes.
You swam quicker, almost getting to the shore as he snickered and bolted away with your dress and his clothes.
"Hyunjin!" you yelled, struggling to get out of the water as the sound of his laughter drifted further away.
"Bastard." you muttered when you managed to climb out of the water, shivering as the sun was about to go down. There was no way he left you here without anything, especially when the sky was darkening quickly.
"Hyunjin, this isn't funny!" you yelled, taking a few steps forward, realizing he even grabbed your sandals. You cursed under your breath, looking around when suddenly-
"Boo!" Hyunjin sneaked behind you, scaring you out of your wits.
"You bastard!" you whined and he just laughed, reaching your dress towards you. And he was already dressed, the tease.
You were about to snatch it when he lifted his arm, holding it out of your reach. Maybe some things haven't changed like the way Hyunjin would always test your patience, claiming you were so adorable when you were annoyed.
"Ugh!" you jumped up to grab it but he moved it, giggling as he looked down at you.
"Hyunjin, give me my dress." you slapped his chest as he kept laughing and moving the dress away.
"I think you look prettier like this." he looked down at your chest and you gasped, covering yourself up.
"I'm cold, Hyunjin." you said and he shook his head.
"Here." he put the dress in front of your face and you eyed him for a moment before finally grabbing it and putting it on. He gave you your shoes and you put them on quickly as the sun almost set. Your bodies were still wet and putting the clothes over them made it worse.
"I'm really cold." you said and Hyunjin pulled you into his side as he led you back towards your house.
"You should come see how I repaired and decorated the place. Meet Rina too." Hyunjin smiled, rubbing your arm in an attempt to warm you up at least a little.
"Some other day, what I need right now is a warm bath." you sighed.
"I have a bath." Hyunjin smirked.
"I'm sure you do." you lifted one eyebrow at him as he kept chuckling.
As you made your way to your house, you felt so giddy, almost as if no distance ever existed between Hyunjin and you.
"I'll see you tomorrow at the anniversary dinner." you smiled as you arrived in front of the gate.
"Mhm." he smirked, holding your hands and staring into your eyes. You stood on your tippy-toes, pouting at him and he chuckled, leaning down as he grabbed your face gently and kissed you slowly like he was savoring the moment. Your arms wrapped around his waist and you pulled him in, your bodies heating up against one another.
"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered, pecking him again.
"Night, bunny. Dream about me." Hyunjin smirked, kissing the corner of your lips.
There was no way you were even sleeping tonight.
-
"Good morning!" you practically glided into the kitchen, seeing both your grandparents there.
"Look at you, I'm guessing it went well with Hyunjin, huh?" nana smiled.
"Oh, it did." you said and your grandparents just exchanged knowing looks but decides not to pry. You were walking on cloud 9 all day and you couldn't wait to see Hyunjin again.
You took extra time to do your hair and makeup and wear a nice black dress with heels for tonight, hoping to make Hyunjin's knees buckle just as he made you feel weak. Half of the village was invited to the anniversary dinner and you were so estatic to see all the people you haven't seen for years again and catch up with them. You were pulled left and right, everyone was equally as excited to talk to you, your old neighbors and friends were glad to have you back. Hyunjin arrived a little later and your heart almost leaped out of your chest when he walked in.
"Hey there, little bunny." he smirked, leaning in closer to you as his lips brushed against your cheek.
"Hey, Jinnie." you let out a giggle as your body heated up from the simplest touch.
"You look stunning." he gently grabbed your hand and gave you the elevator eyes.
"You look handsome." you returned the compliment and he squeezed your hand.
"Yeah?" he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully, pushing him away a little.
The dinner went smoothly, everyone was talking and having fun, the food was delicious as always which is something you missed in the city, and after the biggest toast to your grandparents' love and devotion, came more toasts and the glasses were never empty. You were a lightweight so you didn't drink too much, two and a half glasses were enough for you to feel the pleasant warm buzz inside your body. Hyunjin on the other hand, kept drinking with Chan and some of his other friends, his laughter echoing in the room and his face completely red. How much did he have?, you wondered since you knew he could drink a lot more than you before becoming like this.
After dinner, some of the neighbors left home, leaving only a few of you sitting together in the patio out back. Hyunjin slid next to you on the swinging bench with a dumb smile on his face, his dimples visible and his eyes almost disappearing.
"Hey there pretty girl." he giggled, leaning his cheek on your shoulder and pulling you close to him quickly, startling you a little from the suddenness of the movement.
"Jinnie, you're drunk." you let out a laugh as he whined and nuzzled his face into your neck.
"Drunk or not, you're always pretty to me." he smiled against your skin, pressing his lips into your neck and kissing you gently.
"My grandparents are there at the table." you chuckled, trying to pry him off of you as your cheeks burned.
"Did you tell them you're staying here with me forever?" Hyunjin leaned back a little and looked up at you with a cute, hopeful expression on his face. Your heart skipped a beat as you wrapped your arms around him and he leaned against your chest.
"I'll tell them soon." you whispered and he rubbed his cheek against you.
"Mm." he sighed, closing his eyes and getting even closer to you, draping his leg over you and trapping you there with him.
"Hyunjin?" you chuckled after a few moments, caressing the back of his head but there was no answer. "Are you sleeping?" you looked down and sure enough, your Jinnie was fast asleep on you, his face smushed against your breast.
"Poor soul." Lino, one of your high school friends came up to you together with Chan.
"I think he is right where he wants to be." Chan smirked and you really wanted to kick his shin but Hyunjin's leg was blocking your movement.
"Please help me take him upstairs, I don't want him to go home like this." you asked and even though they wanted to tease the both of you, they decided to help. Hyunjin blinked confusedly when Chan shook him lightly.
"Hyunjinnie. We have to go inside." he told him.
"Noooo!" Hyunjin wailed dramatically and gripped you tighter.
"You can sleep upstairs in my bed." you said and immediately he lit up.
"I can?" Hyunjin smiled cutely and you nodded.
He started babbling about how happy he was as Lino and Chan lifted him and helped him get upstairs before they bid you good night and left with teasing smirks on their faces. Hyunjin sobered up enough to brush his teeth before he started throwing his clothes off like they were the biggest nuisance in the world. You just finished getting ready for bed, wearing your favorite nightgown when you walked back into your room and saw Hyunjin almost naked, in the process of taking his pants off. He hopped on one leg cursing and looking like a major klutz as he almost fell down while you observed him and giggled.
"Fuck this!" he whined, throwing himself on your bed and letting out an exhale.
"Need some help?" you walked closer to the bed and Hyunjin smirked at you.
"Please." he nodded.
You managed to slide his pants off, putting them aside before Hyunjin wrapped his legs around you and pulled you towards him, making you lose balance and fall on top of him.
"Jinnie!" you gasped and he chuckled, brushing your hair behind your ears.
"Being in this room with you is like you never left." he whispered and before you could even answer, he flipped you over so now your body was caged under his. Your breath got caught in your throat as you blinked up at him. "This bed, where I made you mine for the first time. Brings back so many memories." he added with a smirk, his plush lips on yours instanly. You let out a little sound of protest because you definitely did not want your first time after being back to the village to be when you're both tipsy.
"Wait, wait." you stopped him, your hands planted on his chest and you were trying to ignore how his muscles felt under your palms.
"What's wrong, bunny?" Hyunjin asked, lips ghosting over your jaw.
"I- I don't wanna do it like this, I want us both to be completely present and sober. I think we should go to sleep now." you said and Hyunjin smirked once again, his big hands on your waist, caressing you as he kissed your cheeks.
"Sleep, hm?" he teased, his hands ghosting over your body but not touching you exactly how you wanted him. Goosebumps rose on your skin as your eyes fluttered and you gripped onto his arms. "As you wish, doll." Hyunjin smirked and rolled off of you, getting comfy on your small bed. You forgot just how small it was, whenever he would secretly sleep over you were both cramped up in the bed and it usually ended with you lying on top of his body as he held you.
Hyunjin grabbed your teddy and wrapped his arms around it as he smirked at you sleepily.
"Give Jinnie to me." you demanded and he chuckled.
"No." Hyunjin shook his head. "You come here to us." he beckoned you with his arm and you gulped, hesitating for a moment and just looking at Hyunjin sprawled on your bed in nothing but his boxers. It was truly a sight for sore eyes and you couldn't get over the fact that he has gotten even hotter than he was six years ago. You let out a sigh and laid down in his arms, your head on his chest and your ear pressed against his heart that was beating erratically.
"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered after you managed to relax and melt into him, telling yourself that no matter how much time has passed and what he looked like now, he was still your Hyunjin.
You stirred in your bed, the weight and warmth of Hyunjin's body was gone and for a second you thought last night was just a dream but when you opened your eyes and looked to your right, you saw a small makeshift flower bouquet placed in Jinnie's paw and a note next to it. A smile spread on your face as you rolled over on your tummy and grabbed the note.
'Good morning, beautiful. Come to my house around lunch time.'
There was little hearts drawn at the end and Hyunjin's name scribbled down. You squealed in happiness, hugging Jinnie and pressing your face into the teddy, inhaling Hyunjin's scent that stayed everywhere on your bed and made you feel crazy.
You had an extra pep in your step when you came downstairs, trying to find your grandparents so you could tell them you're planning on staying. After searching around the kitchen and living room, you finally spotted them sitting in the backyard, talking and laughing as they enjoyed a warm cup of coffee. You smiled, observing them for a moment and remembering all the times you thought about Hyunjin and you spending the rest of your life together like them and it made your heart flutter.
"Good morning." you walked over to them and they greeted you with a smile.
"Sit with us, honey." nana said, pouring you a cup of coffee and giving you some cookies.
"Slept well?" she teased you and your face started burning immediately.
"Yes." you chuckled. "Um. I have to tell you both something."
"What is it?" grandpa asked and you took a deep breath in, explaining to them how unhappy you actually were in the city, how hard it was for you and how alone you felt. You told them about the multiple times you wanted to drop everything and come back to the village but something always stopped you from throwing away everything you worked so hard for, and then you explained how you quit your job after having to compete for a higher position but the girl you were competing with was bullying you and slept with your boss, which made her get the promotion you broke your back over just with your work. That was your last straw and you just couldn't stay there anymore.
By the time you finished explaining all of it both you and your nana were crying.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything before and made you think I was just visiting but I had no idea if you'd be willing to let me come back here for good." you sobbed.
"What are you talking about Y/n? Of course you can always come back here, this is your home. And we both missed you so much, right?" nana looked at your grandpa and he nodded in agreement. "That's right, we are so happy to have you here." he added and you felt the last stone lifting from your heart, relief washing over you that now everything has been clarified. You were back home and you were never leaving again.
-
Around lunch time, you were ready and buzzing, finally you were going to Hyunjin's house. As you approached it, Rina ran towards the fence, barking at you which caught Hyunjin's attention and he came out of the house, wearing an apron and a tanktop, making your mind dizzy. You were sure he was doing this on purpose to mess with you cause he knew very well how much power he had over you.
"Easy girl." he cooed at the dog, coming closer to the two of you and petting her black fur as she looked at him and sat, panting happily upon getting caressed. "This is Y/n, she's not dangerous." he stated as you walked into the yard and approached Rina cautiously.
"Well, maybe for my heart but that's a different thing." Hyunjin smirked and your cheeks reddened as you looked away from his mischievous smile. Rina barked at you but her tail was wagging as she approached you and started sniffing you before jumping on you and almost pushing you down.
"Oh my god!" you chuckled, petting the dog as she hopped around you happily, barking and running from you to Hyunjin and then back to you.
"She loves you." Hyunjin smiled as he observed the two of you.
"She's just the sweetest." you said.
"And very protective over me." Hyunjin smirked and you rolled your eyes playfully at him. "Let me show you around." he added and you nodded, Rina following behind the two of you. It was still the same house and garden but you could see how much work Hyunjin put in it. The flower garden was more than beautiful, the rest of the garden was full of different vegetables Hyunjin was growing and he even had his own lemon tree. You could see the entire house has been repainted, the windows changed and even the stable with horses was repaired. "How do you maintain all of this alone?" you wondered as Hyunjin took you through the stables where he had three horses and out towards the chicken coop.
"I work all day." Hyunjin shrugged. "Besides, Chan and Lino help me sometimes. And some of our other neighbors too. I mean I typically wake up around 5am and go to bed around 10pm, sometimes 11." he explained and you admired his work ethic and his persistence.
"That's amazing. You're so hardworking and resilient." you praised him and his cheeks got rosy. You knew how Hyunjin always enjoyed getting compliments, especially when he did something right and especially when they came from you.
"It's definitely hard sometimes and I wish I had someone here with whom I can split the work up with." he gave you a look and it was your turn to become red.
"Thank you for the flowers." you said as you neared the chickens.
"That was the least I could give you. Sorry for getting drunk at your grandparents' anniversary dinner." he chuckled and you shook your head.
"You're fine, don't worry." you waved your hand.
While you were talking, a curious chicken came closer and gave you a startle, making you jump a little and grab onto Hyunjin's arm as you shrieked. Hyunjin burst out into laughter and you frowned at him.
"It's not funny!"
"It so is. That's literally just a chicken, Y/n." Hyunjin kept chuckling.
"A chicken that is out to get me!" you shrieked again as the said chicken kept walking towards you menacingly. "Ah!" you screamed as the chicken sped up towards you and you jumped back, scaring half of the other chickens and making Rina bark. One wrong move and you slipped, falling down into the muddy soil, the pretty white dress you put on now completely ruined. Rina ran to you and barked, wagging her tail as the chicken gave up and went on her merry way like this was her plan the entire time. Hyunjin stared at you in shock before he started laughing so hard that his face became red and he doubled over, gripping his stomach. You really wanted the earth to open up this time and pull you down so far so you never embarrass yourself in front of Hyunjin again.
"Stop laughing at me." you pouted, your eyes welling up with tears as you were planted on your knees and palms.
"I'm sorry, but that was just too funny." Hyunjin came closer to you and you looked up at him, trying to look as mad as you could but the tears in your eyes softened Hyunjin up. "Come here." he cooed at you, grabbing your arms gently and helping you lift up.
"My dress is ruined." you couldn't help the tears that started sliding down your cheeks.
"Don't cry bunny, you can shower here and I'll give you something to wear, hm?" Hyunjin touched your cheek, tenderly wiping your tears away with his thumb. You hiccuped and nodded and he chuckled at your cuteness, grabbing your face and leaning in to peck your lips.
He led you into the house and despite feeling embarrassed and sad that your pretty dress was ruined, you still felt shocked when you walked in. The house that was like your second home here looked completely different than it did while you were growing up here. Your wide eyes wondered everywhere, not only was it repaired and repainted, the furniture was new and rearranged differently and there was art everywhere that you presumed was probably Hyunjin's. Everything was so neat and pretty, his house seemed so warm and cozy, a place you could see yourself spending time in with him.
"What do you think?" Hyunjin chewed on his lip, looking at you cutely with wide sparkly eyes.
"Hyune, it's beautiful! I love what you did with it. Somehow, it seems more spacious and like there's more light coming in." you said and he giggled.
"Yes, I wanted to make use of natural light as much as I could." he led you upstairs to his bathroom. "Here, you can shower and I'll make some lunch for us." he added and you nodded as you kept marvelling at everything he did with the space. Hyunjin found a shirt that was oversized even on him so it would definitely be like a dress for you.
"Here." he gave you the shirt and smirked. "Need help?" he added as he motioned towards the shower.
"I think I can handle it." you giggled and Hyunjin gave you a kiss before leaving to the kitchen. You took in the state of yourself in the mirror, cursing quietly when you saw just how much mud you were covered up in. You slowly peeled off the dress and then your underwear, before stepping into the shower. You managed to wash off the mud pretty quickly, replaying the entire scene in your head and feeling more and more embarrassed the more you thought of it.
After drying off and putting your underwear back on, you grabbed Hyunjin's shirt and your gut stirred at the smell of him. You put it on, the fabric soft against your smooth skin and you melted into it, hugging yourself with a smile on your face. This was not the first time you wore his clothes and you missed the feeling of it, your mind wandering back to the nights you spent in his embrace, stealing his shirt after which would make him even more crazy for you.
You finally went downstairs, feeling a little shy as you pulled the shirt down even though Hyunjin had already seen everything before and even saw you in your underwear at the lake. When you walked into the kitchen, he was whistling to the music playing in the background while stirring at the stove. He looked up at you and his lips parted, eyes darkening instantly. "Bunny..." he let out a breath and walked closer to you. Your heart started pounding in your ears as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his body, his lips on yours instantly. You kissed back, gripping at him before you felt something nudging your leg. The two of you parted and saw Rina, wagging her tail happily and pushing her head into your body.
"She wants attention." you started petting her immediately. "Reminds me of someone." you teased and Hyunjin gasped, dramatically placing his hand on his chest.
"Comparing me to a dog, huh?" he shook his head with a smile as you shrugged. "You look so good in my shirt, doll." Hyunjin bit on his lip and your face burned. You thanked him sheepishly, making him chuckle before he went back to cooking and you joined him, helping him out and feeling so domestic, and like you were right where you belonged.
The lunch was delicious and the mud mishap was soon forgotten as Hyunjin gave you a full tour of the house, ending in his room where he showed you his favorite paintings and sketchbooks that were unsurprisingly full of you. You were flipping through one of them when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his body, his lips on your neck. You gasped, your hands shaking and making you drop the sketchbook on the floor as Hyunjin gently kissed your skin. "Jinnie..." you exhaled when his tongue darted out to lick at you before he sunk his teeth in. You tilted your head, completely melting against him as your entire body started burning up.
"I craved you so much." Hyunjin nipped at your shoulder and you squeezed his hands.
"Me too." you whispered before turning in his arms and grabbing his face as you smashed your lips against his. Nothing mattered but him in that moment, the two of you had a hunger that could only be satiated with each other. Your kiss was harsh and sloppy, your teeth clashing and hands grabbing everywhere but neither of you cared.
You felt the fire inside you burning up and spreading all the way to the tips of your fingers that grazed Hyunjin's skin. You needed him more than ever and being with him here made you realize that you had no idea how you managed to live all these years without him.
"Bunny, I can't... I want to worship you and take my time with you so badly, I want to kiss every inch of your skin and make love to you but I can't... I need to have you right now." he panted hard as he grabbed at your hips, leading you to the bed.
"Take me Hyunjin, please. I need you so much." you gripped his arms and Hyunjin let out a low growl before pushing you down onto the bed. It was as if he had no idea what to do first, staring at you sprawled under him for a moment before he put his hands on your thighs, squeezing the flesh.
Your legs parted, the shirt riding up and revealing the red lace panties you wore. "Damn doll, are you trying to kill me?"
"Maybe." you giggled and Hyunjin smirked at you before spreading your legs more and lowering his middle on top of yours. You gasped a little when you felt his length pressing and rubbing against you. He leaned in closer to your face, his arms caging you in.
"Can you feel what you do to me, bunny?" he moaned, rolling his hips against yours. You knew he wanted to tease you but his mind was far too gone for that. Hyunjin has waited for years for you to come back and to be in his arms, for him to taste you, feel you, kiss you, be inside you.
"Hyune... Please..." you were no better, your entire body was yearning for him, every fiber of your being screamed his name. Hyunjin couldn't wait, he leaned back and took off his shirt so you did the same, revealing that you didn't wear a bra.
"Naughty bunny." Hyunjin smirked, giving you a look and you grabbed his wrists gently, placing his palms on your chest. Hyunjin's eyes fluttered as he squeezed, thumbs swiping on your sensitive nipples. He cursed under his breath as he kept massaging your breasts and rubbing against you. You lifted your hips up to meet his, you needed to feel more of him. Your fingers hooked in his pants and you tugged so he lifted up a little to take them off. Hyunjin leaned down to kiss you, his tongue dominating yours as he slid your panties off, then his boxers before placing his hands on your thighs again and caressing them. His lips traveled down your neck to your collarbone then to your breasts, kissing and nipping at the flesh before he wrapped them against your nipple, sucking harshly as his fingertips pressed on your clit. A loud moan slipped your lips as you gripped his shoulders.
"Hyunjin." you moaned desperately, your body arching into him and he shushed you, his fingers sliding through your wet folds, separating them before he slowly pushed his finger in. It was a welcomed intrusion after not being with anyone for years, you haven't even dated after going to the city, you still felt like you belonged to Hyunjin and you thought about him every day so even the thought of letting someone else touch you was too much for you.
Hyunjin slowly pumped his finger inside you, feeling how wet you were getting before adding another finger, scissoring you open for him. He noticed you seemed deep in thought so he slowed down and leaned in to look at you.
"Is something wrong, doll?" he asked and you snapped out of your thoughts.
"Have you been with anyone since I left?" you asked in a small voice, blinking at him and Hyunjin let out a chuckle.
"No, I waited for you." he whispered, kissing you gently and you clenched around him. "You like that, bunny? Like that I'm only yours?" he bit on your lip and looked at you teasingly as he continued fingering you.
"Yes, yes Hyunjin!" you moaned when he hit that special spot inside you and his eyes darkened.
"What about you, doll? Did you let someone else touch what's only mine, hm?" he asked, fucking you faster.
"N-no. Only you, Hyunjin. I'm only yours." you moaned and he growled lowly again, getting more worked up as he wrapped his hand around his length and pumped it a few times.
"You never stopped being mine, little bunny. And I never stopped being yours." he moaned, pulling his fingers out before licking at them. Your heart was beating hard at the sight and the words that he said. It was true, you were his from the moment you first saw him until the end of time.
"Missed your taste." he moaned before grabbing his cock and pressing it against your clit. "I don't have any condoms." he added and you moaned as he ran his hard tip on your folds.
"T-that was never a problem with us." you bit on your lip and Hyunjin moaned as he started slowly pushing inside you, filling you up perfectly and stretching you out just for him. You whimpered, your legs opening more as you welcomed him inside you, where he belonged. Hyunjin took a moment to gather himself when he bottomed out, his eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed around him.
"God, bunny. I missed this pussy so much." you moaned at the dirty way he spoke, clenching even harder around him. "I won't last long."
You whimpered as he started moving, his muscles contracting with each movement as his arms caged you. You couldn't stop admiring him on top of you; the buzzcut worked so well with the new, more manly look, his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes dark as he bit on his lip, his cheeks flushed and a thin sheen of sweat forming on his skin, the veins portruding. He looked so beautiful like that, all lost in you as he moaned quietly. Your hands came up to touch the back of his neck and his shoulders, so smooth and firm and Hyunjin gripped your hips.
"Fuck, I can't!" he whined loudly before he started snapping his hips into you. Both of you were a moaning, desperate mess, missing each other for so long. Hyunjin's hands had a bruising grip on your hips, your nails dug into his flesh as you wrapped your legs around him and pressed your heels into his ass, making him go deeper. He moaned loudly, fucking you harder, his cock splitting you apart deliciously.
"I'm g-gonna cum!" he whined almost as if he was disappointed in himself for finishing so quickly but you couldn't really blame him because you were on the verge yourself.
"Cum inside me, Jinnie!" you moaned and his eyes went wide for a moment before he gripped you harder.
"Are you sure?" he panted and you nodded quickly, your nails leaving red angry marks on his skin.
"Yes please Hyune, I need to feel you." you moaned and he whimpered, fucking you harder and chasing his high and your legs started trembling around him. He knew you were close by your moans and the way your body reacted, the way your pussy clenched around him so hard like you wanted him inside you forever.
"Let go for me, doll." he encouraged you and you moaned, the coil snapping as you came around him, making him even more wet.
Hyunjin cursed and moaned loudly, his hips stuttering before he exploded, filling you up with his warm cum and riding his high as you held onto him. He plopped down on top of you as both of you tried to catch your breath.
"Y/n. My bunny, my love." Hyunjin smiled, kissing you gently as you held each other.
"Jinnie. I love you so much." you whispered against his lips and felt him twitch inside you.
"I love you more than anything, doll." he said before kissing you again, his tongue slowly massaging yours and making your body burn all over again. His hands were on your breasts, massaging and squeezing, gently pinching and pulling on your nipples as he kept stealing your breath. You felt him slowly becoming harder inside you and you clenched, your pussy sore but welcoming. You touched his back and caressed his head and neck, making him whimper against you. It didn't take long for him to become fully hard again.
"I'm gonna make love to you." he whispered, kissing your lips again then grabbing your hand and kissing it before pinning it down on the bed, next to your head, his other hand on your waist.
"Hyunjin." you moaned out his name as he started to slowly move inside you, the drag of his cock against your walls was driving you crazy. Your eyes fluttered shut and you let yourself melt into the moment, the space filling up with sounds of your bodies and your moans as you both got lost in loving each other. Your lips brushed against his jaw and neck, kissing him and gently licking at his skin, the droplets of sweat that were sliding down his neck. He threw his head back when you sunk your teeth into his skin, marking him as yours. Hyunjin's hips stuttered and he fucked you a little harder and deeper but still slowly.
Your eyes fluttered open and met with his, full of love and lust.
"I wanna be like this with you forever." he moaned and you squeezed him with your legs, your nails digging into his shoulders again.
"Me too, Hyune, I wanna be with you forever." you breathed out.
He sped up a little, his hands roaming all over your body, his sweat dripping down onto your skin, making everything hot and wet.
"Ah!" you whimpered when he hit the spot. "You feel perfect inside me."
Hyunjin groaned at the praise, his hips snapping into yours harder as his fingers found your sensitive clit, moving in circles and trying to bring you to your high. His lips were on your skin again, kissing, licking and nipping before he grabbed your breast with his free hand and wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking hard and making your body tremble against him. The fact that you were even more wet and slippery than before because he had already came inside you drove you insane and you snapped, cumming around him and squeezing him again. Hyunjin's eyes rolled back and all he could do was moan your name as he sped up, your hips and pussy burning at the overstimulation and movement before he released inside you, filling you up again.
"Fuck." this time he pulled out of you, watching as his cum oozed out of your pussy. "Wow." he gasped a little, reaching out to touch your folds and you whimpered.
"Are you- are you on the pill?" Hyunjin asked as he retracted his hand and you started laughing when you realized he hadn't even asked before and that you didn't even think about it.
"No, I wasn't sleeping with anyone so I didn't need them." you said and Hyunjin's face went red.
"It's okay." you beckoned him closer with your hand and he crawled to you instanly, laying on top of you and propping himself up with his elbows as he looked at you softly, caressing your head and playing with your hair. "We talked about having kids..."
Hyunjin let out a chuckle before pecking your lips.
"We did but now that you're back I wanted to enjoy you just a little more. Have you all to myself, my little bunny. And I know it might be cliche but I wanted us to get married first." he said and your heart fluttered.
"You never stopped thinking about that?" you asked, caressing his back.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to. Did you?"
"I always thought that if I hadn't left we would've already been married and had at least one baby." you confessed and Hyunjin's body trembled as he pressed himself harder against you.
"There's nothing more I want than to have everything with you, my love." he said, kissing you gently and lovingly.
"Me too." you gasped for air between kisses.
"Are you ready for round three then?" he smirked and you felt his length twitching against your thigh.
"Oh wow." you laughed and Hyunjin chuckled.
"What can I say, I missed you." he kissed your jaw again. "I just wanna be inside you."
"Please Hyunjin." you whimpered, feeling aroused for him easily.
"Don't worry bunny, I got you. All mine tonight." he moaned, pushing into your sore pussy but it felt so good to you. "Gotta make sure it sticks." Hyunjin added with a smirk and you gasped, your eyes rolling back as he filled you up.
You spent almost the entire night in each other's embrace, making love or just cuddling and talking, but both of you felt so insatiable that you just couldn't stop until early morning hours.
"This is about the time I usually wake up." Hyunjin said as he blinked sleepily, rubbing his cheek against your breast as you held him in your arms. You looked out at the dark sky, giggling a little.
"We should get some sleep." you said and Hyunjin whined, squeezing your other breast with his hand.
"I can't... I need to feed the horses... And take Rina out for a walk and..." his voice got more and more quiet before you realized he was fast asleep. A smile spread on your lips as you relaxed and let yourself fall asleep too.
You woke up a few hours later, the sun blazing through the curtains and you groaned, covering your face. Your entire body was sore, last night you had used some muscles that were dormant for years, but the most sore place was between your legs. When you remembered everything you did with Hyunjin last night and how many times he had moaned into your ear about fucking a baby into you, your mind went hazy and you felt that wave of hotness rise inside you.
You noticed you were alone in the bed, tangled in his sheets and the smell of him and you rolled over to his side after noticing another little bouquet of flowers. You smiled to yourself and willed yourself to get up and take a shower even though your legs were in pain too.
By the time you came down, Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen but you found some coffee and toast, deciding to make yourself some breakfast. You sat at the counter and ate while listening to some music. Hyunjin suddenly walked in from the back door.
"Oh bunny! Good morning." he smirked as he came closer to you and you could see the sweat on his body glistening, making you feel aroused instantly at the sight and smell of him.
"Morning." your voice came out breathy as he wrapped his arm around you and kissed you.
"I was just working out back in the shed." he started and Rina ran in barking and jumping at you happily. You chuckled and cooed at her as you started petting her head. "She helped out." Hyunjin added and you giggled.
"I'm sure she did."
"Would you like to go horse riding with me today?" he asked and you let out a laugh.
"I mean, I'd love to but you tired me out last night." you said sheepishly and he cackled, making you smack his arm a few times which made Rina bark.
"Careful, you can't hit me in front of Rina." he had a smug smile on his face and you rolled your eyes, shoving him away playfully. "Come on, we used to go all the time. I missed doing everything with you, doll."
"Fine, but I'm going home first to change and say hello to my grandparents." you pointed your finger at him and he grabbed your wrist, gently kissing your fingertip before he pressed your hand on his chest.
"Come back to me soon, doll."
-
It didn't take long for you to get ready and skip back to Hyunjin's house, especially after missing him for so many years; you felt like you needed to make up for all the lost time. Hyunjin was waiting for you in the stable, preparing the horses for the ride. As soon as you walked in, he smiled at you, waving at you to come closer. Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes, you were dressed and ready for the activity you were going to share with him this afternoon.
"God, you look so cute my bunny." he put his hands behind his back and leaned in to kiss you, making you giggle against his lips.
"You're cute." you poked his cheek and he chuckled.
"I am?" he gave you a cute face, making his dimples visible as he smiled and his eyes disappeared, turning into little slits. For emphasis he put his palms around his face as if he was presenting his cuteness to you and you could not believe that this was the same man who had you shaking under him last night.
"The cutest." you giggled and he seemed satisfied with the answer, giving you another sweet kiss.
"So, this beauty over here is Aurora." Hyunjin took your hand in his and walked closer to the horse. It let out a snorting sound, making you jolt a little and Hyunjin chuckled.
"Don't tell me you forgot how to ride." he smirked at you with a pointed look and you smacked his arm as he giggled, knowing you would react like that. Your cheeks went red despite last night and despite everything else you shared with him.
"You better be quiet." you threatened him and he wiggled his eyebrows at you.
"You weren't saying that last night."
"Hyunjin. Please. The horses don't need to listen to this." you whispered the last sentence, giving Aurora a few gentle pets.
Hyunjin laughed before nodding. "Alright, well she is yours for today. And I'm taking Midnight." he pointed to a black horse and you nodded, feeling excited because you missed things like this in the city, spending time in nature even though insects frightened you.
The two of you made your way out with your horses, Hyunjin helping you get up on Aurora and then patting your butt affectionately as you sat down. Your cheeks became rosy as he smirked at you and climbed up on Midnight. He looked so hot in that moment that you were already getting worked up despite still being sore.
You made your way towards the fields, the sun shining on you as you rode your horses and enjoyed the fresh air and the breeze. Everything that was bothering you before you came here was left in the dust your horses lifted as they ran, the past was put behind you and you could clearly see the path ahead.
The two of you made it to one of the pretty fields, letting the horses rest as you tied them aside and Hyunjin brought a blanket for the two of you to sit on. Quietly, you enjoyed the beautiful day together as you closed your eyes and let the sun's warmth kiss you while Hyunjin kept his eyes fixed on you.
"I forgot just how peaceful it is here." you sighed before looking at Hyunjin.
"But you spent most of your life here, more than in the city. You know this place like the back of your hand." his head tilted and you shrugged.
"Maybe it didn't take long for me to get used to the city."
"Then it won't be long for you to get used to being back here." he said and bit on his lip. "Come here bunny." he tapped his thigh and you chuckled, your face becoming red. "Come sit in my lap, I need you close to me." Hyunjin added and you shook your head lightly before coming closer to him and sitting in his lap. Your arms wrapped around his neck and his around your waist as he leaned in and kissed you sweetly, before gently swiping his tongue on your lower lip. You parted your lips and he kissed you sensually, like he was trying to explore every part of you and remember your taste forever.
Hyunjin leaned back suddenly and gave you a serious look as he held your hips.
"Y/n, you really are the most important person in my life. You are my best friend and my only lover. And I want you to stay here with me forever and for us to build a life together but only if you want that. I don't want you to feel like I forced you to be here in the village and made you throw away your uni degree and the career you worked so hard for. I need to know that you are absolutely sure you want this, cause I don't want you to resent me one day." Hyunjin exhaled shakily and you smiled, grabbing his face and smushing his cute cheeks.
"You're the most important person in my life too. And even without knowing you still loved me and wanted to be with me I came back here with the plan to stay. There is nothing for me there, that career was a disappointment, almost a waste of time that I could've been spending here with you. Besides, I am still young and there is time to change careers. This is my decision to stay here and if I have you too, then that's just added happiness. I would never resent you Hyunjin, because I want to build a life with you too, I want us to grow old together like my grandparents. I always imagined us like that."
"Oh bunny, you have no idea how happy that makes me." Hyunjin gave you the sweetest smile before crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was passionate and full of love, all bursting around the two of you. He kissed your neck before flipping you over and you gasped under him.
"Beloved, it's the middle of the day, other people come here. A-and the horses are right there." you nodded towards the animals who seemed interested only in the grass.
"Doll, let me just have a taste of you, please?" Hyunjin rubbed your hips, giving you the cutest pout and puppy eyes and you were weak for him. It never took too long for you to lose your panties around him which was what happened as soon as you said yes. He took off your pants and underwear, immediately diving in between your legs as he held them open, gripping at your thighs.
"My sweet bunny." Hyunjin kissed and nipped on your thighs, leaving bite marks in his wake all the way up to your core.
"Mm." he moaned the moment his plump lips touched your folds. "Baby." he whined and flatened his tongue against you, giving you a few languid licks, enjoying the taste of you before the tip of his tongue started flicking your clit. You whimpered quietly as your legs trembled, still aware that you were outside and anyone could see you.
Hyunjin however, didn't care. He was moaning into your pussy desperately as soon as he pushed his tongue in, eating you out like you were the sweetest treat ever. His nose brushed against your clit perfectly as he moved and you were still so sensitive from last night so it didn't take long for you to release your essence all over his lips and tongue as you gripped onto the blanket.
"Bunny, you taste so sweet." he whined, licking around his lips. You looked around, chuckling and quickly pulling your pants up, cringing a little at the wetness.
"Let me make you feel good too, Jinnie." you were now closer to him, your hands on his thighs.
"You don't have to do it right now, we can go back to my house and-"
"Hyune... You can't ride back with this." you smirked, cupping his bulge through his pants and he whined instanly, lifting up into your hand and grinding against it.
"Yeah, you're right." Hyunjin moaned as you kissed his jaw and neck while working to unbutton his pants and slide them down with his boxers, at least enough to pull his cock out. You moaned at the sight of him and you were so eager to have him in your mouth again after not tasting him for so long. You leaned down, gathering spit before you spit on his cock and made him gasp, lifting his hips up to you again. You gave him a few pumps as you smirked at him and Hyunjin was already falling apart. He was equally as weak for you as you were for him.
You swirled your tongue around his head, dipping it into his slit and he shook against you, his hips lifting up and his hand tangling in your hair.
"More, please more bunny." he begged desperately and you moaned around him as you slid down, taking more of his length in.
"Just like that baby, keep going." he encouraged you as you tried to relax your throat and breathe through your nose. Hyunjin whimpered when you gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head up and down. He gripped your hair, his moans becoming high pitched so you looked up and almost came in your panties at the sight. He was completely lost in the pleasure you were giving him, his head thrown back, his neck on full display with his Adam's apple bobbing up and down every time he gulped and his veins visible. Your eyes fluttered as you moaned around him and fondled his balls with your other hand, making his hips jerk up into you which made you gag a little.
"Fuck. Taking me so well, bunny." he growled, fucking up into you slowly as he gripped your hair harder. "G-gonna cum."
"Mm." you moaned, massaging his balls and sucking him like your life depended on it as he kept fucking up into you.
"Ah! Love seeing those pretty lips around me!" Hyunjin whined loudly, snapping his hips a little harder against you before you felt him twitch and release inside you. You swallowed every last drop he gave you, overstimulating him until he was almost pushing you away.
"Fuck, bunny. You're gonna be the death of me." he said as you lifted up and wiped your lips.
"That good, hm?" you teased him with a smirk and he smirked back at you as he got dressed.
"Well, you seem to love my cum so I'm just giving you what you love, you know, thinking of your happiness." he teased and you smacked his arm, making him laugh because he loved provoking you.
"Shut up." you muttered in embarrassment and he giggled before pouting at you and coming closer to you. He gently took your chin in his hand and made you look at him.
"I love you." he said.
"I love you too." you smiled and kissed him, tasting your essence on his tongue.
"Wanna ride a little more then go back to my house?" he asked and you nodded eagerly.
"I'd love to."
-
Currently, you were sitting in Hyunjin's very big bath, waiting for him to join you as you soaped up your arms with the bubbles, playing around with them.
"Here I am!" he ran in, quickly closing the door behind him. "Had to feed Rina plus she felt neglected and deprived of my love." he added, stripping his clothes and throwing them in the hamper haphazardly.
"You trying to make me feel guilty?" you asked, blowing a bubble at him and he giggled.
"No doll, you know you're always my number one." he smirked, throwing his underwear aside and you looked away in embarrassment.
He chuckled at you and got in, sitting between your legs and you squealed as he made the water splash around you.
"Will you help me wash my back?" he looked at you sideways with a little pout and you chuckled.
"Of course, beloved." you smiled as you took a clean cloth and made it wet before you started gently washing his back. Hyunjin closed his eyes and let out a long sigh of relaxation. You enjoyed the quiet moment, gently rubbing his skin before gliding over it with your other hand, loving the feeling of his wet and soft skin against yours. You leaned in and kissed his shoulders, your breasts pressing against him and nipples grazing him. Hyunjin let out a shaky breath as you wrapped your arms around him and kept kissing his upper back and the back of his neck, catching the droplets of water with your lips.
"I'm so happy." he said and you smiled against him as he caressed your hands. "I was lonely without you, my bunny. I drowned that in work but in moments like this, when it's quiet, and especially late at night I imagined you next to me, wished you were here. And now you are."
"I'm sorry, Jinnie. I'll never leave you again." you said, brushing your lips against his neck.
"I know." he shivered and then leaned back into you as you held him and caressed his chest and stomach, your hand coming in contact with his cock that was hard again.
"Jinnie." you giggled in delight.
"I can't help it when you're touching me." he whined and you kept giggling as you wrapped your hand around him and gave him a few teasing tugs before you released him completely, making him groan.
"Love, you promised we'd go stargazing tonight." you teased.
"The stars will be there tomorrow." he smirked, turning around in the bath and making the water splash around again.
"So will we." you chuckled, running your finger on his defined jaw.
"Mm." he smirked, eyes already hooded as he leaned in and captured your lips in his. You gave in instantly, craving him as much as he craved you.
"I want to go stargazing." you said when the two of you parted for air and Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head.
"Whatever my bunny wants. Give me a few moments to try and calm down, hm?" he said, kissing your jaw before he got up, getting out of the bath and making his way to the shower. "Join me." he reached his hand towards you and you grabbed it, getting out of the bath with his help.
The moment you shared in the shower was sweet and gentle as you helped each other wash off, playing around with the water.
"So, you like how I did the house?" Hyunjin asked as you dried off.
"I love it so much. It's artsy but cozy and warm. It still has that vintage vibe, you just made it better." you told him and he blushed, smiling cutely at you.
"I decorated it with the thought of you." he confessed, suddenly looking shy and reminding you of that little boy that almost hid behind his mother the first time he laid eyes on you.
"Hyunjin." your eyes watered instantly and you started crying.
"Bunny, don't cry." Hyunjin wrapped his arms around you, shushing you and pulling you into his chest as he caressed your head.
"I'm sorry." you whimpered and he chuckled at your cute pouty face as he looked down at you.
"Move in with me. There's no need to wait." he kissed your head and you squeezed him tighter.
"Packing tomorrow." you looked up at him with a smile and he chuckled, leaning down to kiss you as he wiped your tears away.
-
It was a beautiful, clear and quiet night, just what you needed for one of your favorite activities. Stargazing was a little ritual you did together even before you started dating, when you were just friends. You'd lay near your tree and look up at the stars wondering what's in store for you and Hyunjin, and he'd be nervously gathering courage to confess to you and kiss you only to back out every time you smiled at him.
After becoming a couple, you'd spend warm evenings loving each other under the blanket of stars, hidden by the grass and flowers around you. You'd look up at the stars then and thank them.
Hyunjin brought a blanket this time like always and you laid next to each other, your bare arms touching.
"Jinnie, can I ask you something?" you turned to look at him.
"Anything." he met your eyes.
"I noticed this when I got here the first day but why did you carve only your name in the tree, under ours?"
His eyes softened before he sat up and looked at the tree.
"For when you come back, so you can add your name and we can make a new start together." he smiled and your eyes watered.
"Jinnie." you whined, sitting up and resting your forehead on his shoulder. "You're too sweet."
"Here." he gave you his pocket knife and motioned at the tree. "You can add your name now."
Hyunjin helped you out and the two of you admired your work, a new carving of your names signifying a new phase of your relationship, where both of you have grown and matured. You turned towars him, grabbing his face and smashing your lips into his as you kissed him passionately. Hyunjin returned the kiss enthusiastically, pulling you in his lap. Your hips started grinding against him instantly and he smirked into the kiss.
"Is my bunny needy for me?" Hyunjin leaned back to look at you, caressing your face and putting your hair behind your ear.
"Mm, always." you moaned quietly as his other hand grabbed at your ass, squeezing and giving you a light smack.
Hyunjin chuckled at the state of you, already unraveling and he hasn't even done anything. You bit on your lip and gripped his shoulders as you started dragging your core against his. Hyunjin's head fell back as he gripped your hips and helped you move against him, pressing you down and making you feel his growing bulge.
"What you do to me, doll." he almost growled, gripping you harder and moving his hips up into yours.
"Hyunjin." you moaned his name, your hands sliding down his chest to his abs and then to the button on his jeans as you worked to open it. He smirked into the kiss again, letting you struggle for a moment before he leaned away from your lips and helped you take off his pants. His hands slid under your dress, up until he touched your panties.
"So wet, my bunny." he looked at you lustfully, his lips parting as he touched you clit and played with it, sliding his fingers down to your folds and feeling the wetness even through the fabric.
"I need you." you whined and he chuckled.
"I need you too, bunny." he whispered and you stood up to slide your panties off as Hyunjin watched you with hazy eyes. He slid his pants and underwear down, pulling you down into his lap again. Your wet pussy pressed against his hard cock and both of you moaned as you grinded on him, getting him wet with your juices.
"Ah, doll!" Hyunjin whined, pushing his hips up into you and you lifted just a little to grab his cock and push it inside you. He groaned as you sat down on him slowly, feeling every inch of him stretching your still sore pussy.
"You okay, bunny?" Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your waist as you let out a hiss.
"Y-yes, perfect." you whimpered, gripping at his shoulders as you started circling your hips on top of him. "Oh my god." you groaned, feeling his tip brushing against something delicious deep inside you.
"Good, baby?" Hyunjin smirked, holding your hips but you knew he was close to losing control.
"Mm yes." you shut your eyes tightly as you started to bounce on him slowly and Hyunjin let out a loud moan.
"Ah, bunny! You feel so good. So perfect for me. I wanna stay inside you forever."
You clenched hard at his words, fucking on his length faster, your hips slapping against his. Hyunjin's hand gripped your dress and pushed it up before he grabbed your ass, giving it a few smacks and making you whimper and squeeze around his cock again.
"Please, Hyune, I need more, please!" you whimpered, fucking on him as hard as you could even though your thighs started burning. Hyunjin looked at you, your flushed face and your tits bouncing with your movement, his cock disappearing completely inside you. You were driving him insane.
"You want some help bunny?" he asked, gripping your hips.
"Yes, please!" you whined and Hyunjin smirked before he started snapping his hips up into you.
Both of you were a desperate mess of moans and curses, fucking into each other as if you hadn't been together all night yesterday.
"Gonna get you pregnant, my bunny. Want you to be mine forever." Hyunjin growled as you fell apart on top of him, exploding all over his cock.
"Please, Hyune, want to have your baby." you mumbled, your entire body shaking on top of him and Hyunjin growled, his eyes rolling back as he came, ropes of warm cum filling you up, your pussy milking him dry.
You held each other for a moment, trying to gather your senses as you breathed hard. Hyunjin leaned back and gave you a cute smile.
"I mean it, you know. I really want a little one running around our house. A baby that we made out of love." Hyunjin said, holding your face in his palms.
"Me too, I want it so much." your voice was shaky as you leaned in and kissed him, not missing the detail where he called his house yours.
"After last night and today it would be a surprise if you weren't already pregnant." he smiled, brushing his lips against yours.
You chuckled as your face burned. "I hope so."
Hyunjin smiled, kissing you until you became breathless. The two of you cleaned up and got dressed, lying down in each other's arms so you could actually do what you came to do here - watch the stars.
Once again, you thanked them for leading you back to your Hyunjin.
Six months later
You were drinking your morning tea, staring out the window as your free hand landed on your tummy and you let out a sigh of happiness. Hyunjin came from upstairs, all fresh from a shower and noticed you smiling to yourself, the sun illuminating your features.
"How are my girls?" Hyunjin asked as he wrapped his arms around you, his hands on your baby bump, caressing you gently as he kissed you neck and inhaled your sweet scent.
"Good actually. The tea is helping with nausea." you turned your head a little to look at his face and his eyes were filled with so much love and happiness that it made you shiver, your heart fluttering.
"What?" you chuckled as he kept looking at you with a big smile on his face.
"Have I told you how breathtaking you are, my doll?" he exhaled, nuzzling into you.
"Only every day." you giggled.
"And I will continue doing so for the rest of my life." Hyunjin kissed your cheek and you turned in his arms to give him a proper kiss, enjoying the feeling of his plump lips against yours. Your hands flew to his hair that was now black and growing out and you ran your fingers through the soft tufts.
"I have something for you." he said when the two of you broke apart.
"What is it?" you tilted your head and Hyunjin rounded the couch where Rina was cuddled up, making her raise her head and look at him. He stood in front of the stereo and pressed a few buttons before the familiar melody of Photograph started playing.
"Hyun..." your eyes watered and he skipped towards you, reaching his hand to you. You grabbed it and he pulled you into him, dancing with you, softly swaying you side to side.
"This has always been our song. The one we danced to at prom too. And now we can have our first dance at our wedding to this song as well."
"H-Hyunjin." your lips trembled as happy tears spilled from your eyes.
"I wanted to wait for a perfect moment, have this elaborate dinner and speech but I think this is the perfect moment. You and me in our house with our baby on the way and Rina with us. So I have something to ask you, bunny." Hyunjin got on one knee in front of you, taking out a little box from the pocket of his sweats and opening it up to reveal a beatiful ring.
You gasped, your heart beating fast as more tears spilled from your eyes. You knew he was going to propose to you but nothing prepared you for the tornado of feelings that were swirling inside you.
"Y/n, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"
"Yes!" you yelled almost before he ended the sentence and he chuckled happily, sliding the ring on your finger.
"I love you so much, Jinnie." you cried as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you.
"I love you more than anything, my little bunny." he kissed you, the tears of happiness sliding down his cheeks too.
"I promised you forever, didn't I?"
And there was no other way you wanted to spend forever than to be by Hyunjin's side.
friends with benefits!steve harrington x reader - wc 4.3k
summary: you, steve, and one too-short skirt makes for a wicked combination-- especially when you've got an empty radio station on your hands.
chapter warnings/tags: steve harrington x you, friends with benefits, secret relationship, p in v sex, unprotected sex, kissing, body worship, elements of controlling!steve, brat tamer!steve, tease!reader, love marking/biting/bruising, pure filth, absolute fucking desperation.
author's note: this is a chapter from my fic the deal rewritten to be an x reader oneshot!
---
In the Squawkās living room, bored out of your mind, youāre trying your best not to nod off.Ā
Nancy has been talking for going on ten minutes straight, and while Jonathan appears to be listening with rapt attention, you, Steve, and Robin arenāt having as easy of a time. Necessary though these once-weekly station meetings might be, thereās nothing even remotely interesting to you about viewer demographics or the cost of improvements to the radio tower. You just want to be done with this and go home already.Ā
āCan I get a read on that?ā Nancy asks you, snapping you out of your daze.
You blink. āSorry?ā
Nancy hides her annoyance well, but it still shows. āI need the estimated run times for broadcasts next week,ā she repeats.
You shake herself and stand from your chair. āYeahā yeah, right. Sorry.ā
You make your way to the wall of cabinets, on the top of which you usually stack the binders where you log all of that kind of information. You grimace at the height and stretch to grab them, but the short skirt youāre wearing is making that a little difficult. How the hell had you gotten them up there in the first place?
You reach for it once more, ignoring that your friends might end up seeing a little more of your ass than usual as you press up onto your tiptoes. And then you feel someone appear behind you, and Steveās hand comes into view, his corded forearm flexing as he grabs the binders down for you.Ā
You turn to thank him and find him inches from your face. Heās standing directly in the way of your line of vision to everyone else. As if heād been blocking them from seeing you in that skirt. As if heād been thinking about it like you had.Ā
āThanks,ā you say, a little bewildered and fighting a blush.Ā
He gives you a tight smile, no fondness to be found in it. Thereās an unmistakable intensity in his eyes as he looks at youā an intensity that makes you think acutely about the fingertip-shaped bruises that are currently scattered along your hips and thighs. When he looks at you like that, itās not hard to remember the reason he put them on you in the first place. Hidden and unspoken though your friends-with-benefits-whatever-the-fuck agreement might be, Steveās always liked marking you up, despite the risks of anyone else in this room finally catching on to whatās been going on beneath their noses for weeks now.
You clear your throat and return to your armchair and the meeting, rattling off numbers for Nancy to analyze. Steve leans up against the wall, arms crossed.
You try not to watch him, but he makes it hard sometimes. Thereās a strange kind of intimacy to seeing someone whose body you could map out in perfect detail fully clothed. Like itās some barrier only you are able to pass, some sacred knowledge that you and only you possess. Like later, if you wanted, you could rip that shirt off of him and kiss your way over the pattern of moles on his strong shoulders, and nobody but the two of you knew it.Ā
In that small way, he belongs to you.
Eventually, Nancy asks for some other piece of information you donāt have on hand, and youāre forced to head down to the basement to gather it, grumbling along the way. How these archival lists matter to your job, you have no idea. Your role is mostly pulling music and organizing the boardā and fighting off Steveās attempts to redo it for you.
You lean over the table in the basement, sifting unsuccessfully through papers to find what youāre looking for.
āI want to see you,ā comes a voice from behind you.Ā
You jump, although you recognize Steveās voice. āJesus. You scared me.ā
āAfter this,ā he insists, ignoring you and stepping closer.Ā
You donāt turn from the deskā wonāt let him know youāre intimidated by the heat in his tone. āI might have plans tonight,ā you hum, though itās a bald-faced lie and you both know it.
You canāt tell if heās ordering or begging you as he says, āCancel them.ā
You sigh. āI shouldnāt, Steve. I have to walk home, and I donāt want to do that in the dark.ā
āIāll drive you home,ā he promises you. āIām locking up tonight, anyway. Come on. Promise Iāll make it worth it.ā
Warmth coils in your gut, and you know thereās no way in hell youāre turning this down. āWhy the sudden urge?ā you push him, unsurprised when you hear his footsteps, then feel his body come flush to yours.
Steve presses his hands against your hips, perhaps subconsciously finding one of the bruises there and adding just enough pressure for you to feel a tinge of pain.āThis skirt is really working for me,ā he murmurs in your ear. āIād like to see what itād look like on the floor.ā
You turn around slowly and Steveās hands adjust to land on your lower back, one of them sliding down slightly. The look of that total hunger in his eyes makes you surge forward and capture his lips with yours, cupping his face. You donāt dare run your hands up into his hair and muss it before the two of you have to walk back out there, but the way heās pushing your body back into the desk is driving you so insane you think briefly about trying it anyway.Ā
āEasy,ā you breathe, pulling back. āWeāve still gotta make it through this meeting.ā
āIs that a yes?ā he asks.
You push against his chest, ignoring the pounding of your heart. āItās a maybe,ā you bluff. āAs in, maybe I keep this skirt on the whole time and go to work on you instead.ā
Steve kisses you again, hard and pressing.Ā
You pull back, peeling yourself out of his grip and making for the door. And once heās out of sight, you might tug your skirt up an extra inch.
Youāre busying yourself with shoving records back onto the shelves in the music alcove in the station, biding your time until closing. Nancy and Jonathan have taken off only moments ago, and now itās only a matter of not shouting at Robin to pack up her things quicker before youād be alone. Wellā alone, except for one other person, whoās been shooting you barely-disguised hungry looks from across the station all day.Ā
āHey, you need a ride?ā Robin asks, appearing in the doorway. āVickieās outside.ā
You smile at her. āIām fine. My dadās picking me up tonight.ā
āSuit yourself,ā Robin calls, waving a hand in goodbye. āDonāt stay too late. Iāll see you tomorrow.ā
āBye,ā You toss back, fingers stilling on the last record. Once sheās gone, you make yourself wait a minute, then two, and then you follow Robin out, making it all the way to the front door of the station so you can lock it and draw the blinds down.
Steve looks up from where heās working in the sound box, stacking tapes.Ā
Your eyes find his, and thatās all it takes for him to be moving for you, pushing open the glass door between you and crossing the main room quickly.Ā
You meet him stride for stride and crash into each other in the middle of the room, mouths already slanting together.Ā
Steveās hands are all over you, travelling up and down your back, tugging you close to him. He loves to kissā always has. Itās probably his biggest turn-on. He never wanted to stop kissing you, right up until the very end.Ā
You curl your hands in the front of his shirt and grab him closer to you, almost just to have something to hold onto. Youāre making frantic noises into his mouth, and it seems only to energize him further.Ā
Steve walks you backward toward the couch, stopping only when your legs bump against it. āNeeded you so bad,ā he mumbles against your mouth. āYouāve been driving me crazy all day.ā
You let out a noise. āClothes. I want to touch you.ā
He pulls back enough to shuck his shirt off in one easy motion, tossing it aside. Your hands find his bare chest, smoothing across his shoulders, over his pecs, down his abdomen. They land on his belt, and you yank him back toward you.Ā
āI want everything off,ā he breathes. āI need to see you, sweetheart.ā
āAll of it?ā you repeat, panting. He almost never asks for that from youā you always move too fast together. With the exception of a few longer nights spent in the Squawk van, itās fairly rare for you to be completely naked in front of him.
āAll of it,ā he nods. āYou need help?ā
A small, stubborn part of you wants to tell him you donāt. But your fingers arenāt as steady as usual, and your legs feel like theyāre about to give out, so instead, you just nod.Ā
Steve lets out an impassioned noise and tears his lips from yours, hands moving down your body. He grips the hem of your shirt and pulls it over your head gently so it doesnāt catch on your chin or your nose. When the shirt is gone, discarded with his, he takes a moment to smooth down your hair, running his fingers down it softly. You shiver at the touch.Ā
Steve reaches around you and unhooks your bra, which is the part you always have a hard time with once your coordination is shot. But his fingers move expertly for youā assuredly. Years of experience, and weeks of training with you in this stationā against walls, over desks, tucked in corners where no one and nothing can force you to admit the truth in these encounters. He pulls your bra straps down your arms as you attack his neck with kisses, moving down his chest.Ā
Steve pulls away, holding you by the arms so he can see you. He lets out a groan. āFuck.ā
āItās been a while since youāve gotten to second base with me,ā you mock him, letting him take it in.Ā
He nods, all seriousness. āToo long. Too goddamn long.ā
His lips return to yours, and then, just as you had anticipated he would, he begins to kiss a line down your middle, over your sternum, down your stomach. His hands move, sweeping, to stroke your body, over your ribs and across your breasts in ways that make your skin tingle.Ā
āAnd this,ā he makes out, hands settling onto your hips again as he drops to his knees in front of you, eyes fixed on the waistband of your skirt. āI canāt believe you wore this in front of other people.ā
āWhatās wrong with it?ā you ask breathlessly, staring down at him. You love seeing him like thisā completely desperate, staring at you like he wants to devour you. He usually does.
Steveās eyes flick up to meet yours. āItās obscene. Your whole ass was out today.ā
Your cheeks burn. āIt was not.ā It was. You just so happened to be incapable of conceding to him.
āYouāre not allowed to wear this out anymore,ā Steve tells you, his thumb skimming under the waistband. āThis is only for me from now on. You hear me?ā
Your pulse spiked at the order, at the audacity in his tone. āI like this skirt,ā you say defensively.
āI love this skirt,ā he agrees, fingers moving for the buttons. āDoesnāt change that youāre a fucking tease.ā
āIām not a tease,ā you gasp out.Ā
āPromise me,ā he bades you, another order in place of a plea. Looking up at you, his brown eyes catching you with that unshakable focus, it almost feels like heās not the one on his knees at all.Ā
Promises are dangerous. Promises mean strings. Strings are what the two of you come here to avoid.Ā
You bite your lip and shake your head.
Steve frowns. āYou sure about that?ā he challenges you, arching a thick brow.
Incapable of tearing your eyes away, you feel a reluctant laugh escape you as you shake your head again. Too sex-addled to lie to him now.
A grin spreads over Steveās faceā so bright for a moment it makes your chest hurt. āFigures. Brat.ā He unzips the skirt and tugs it over your hips, taking your underwear with it. When it hits the floor, you step out of it and kick it away.Ā
āYouāre beautiful,ā Steve tells you. āSo beautiful. Fuck, I need you.ā
Your hands tighten on his shoulders, and as you stare down at him, you can feel your heart in your throat. āGet back up here.ā
He rises to his feet again, and you swallow as he towers over you. āSteve,ā you whisperā just to say it. āHow do you want me?ā
āI want you everywhere,ā he murmurs. āI want you for hours.ā
You let his kisses, scattered across your neck, over the still-red hickeys he left there the other day, drag another moan from your throat. āSteve,ā you breathe again. āThe floor.ā
He shakes his head. āNo. I want you to be comfortable, pretty girl.ā
āThenāā you let out a shaky breath. āThen the couch. I donāt care. Fuck, Steve.ā
āJust hang on a minute, sweetheart,ā he tells you. āIāll take care of you. Iāve got you.ā
Sweet wordsā so heartbreakingly gentle. Paired with your ravenous hunger, you think the feeling might swallow you whole.Ā
You plant your hands on his shoulders and jump into his arms, knowing without questioning it that heāll catch you. His hands span your thighs as his mouth moves over yours again, pushing so hard you think for a moment he might be trying to swallow you. You stay like that for a moment, your hands wild with movement, desperate to get all of him under your fingers. Steve grunts as you scratch at his shoulders and finally sets you gently down on the couch, moving over you.Ā
Youāve never considered what the two of you do vanilla, exactly, but this has always been Steveās favorite position. He loves watching you, loves wrenching words from your mouth, loves being able to run his eyes over the entirety of you as he wishes. Thatās just himā this boy whose body youāve come to know as well as your own.
He kisses his way back down your figure again, probably meaning to get you ready, squeeze an orgasm out of you before you start. Heās always eaten you out like it was for his pleasure and not yoursā done it like itās a sport he canāt stand to lose at. Sometimes you wonder if he can even breathe, heās so immersed in it.Ā
But not tonight. You reach a hand down and pull his hair, making him look up at you. āNo,ā you tell him, chest heaving. āI just want to feel you in me. Nothing else.ā
Steveās expression melts a little, and he moves immediately to accommodate you. Reaching down, he grabs a discarded pillow off the floor and sets it behind your head so youāll be comfortable.Ā
You move to kiss him again, but he stops you, snagging another. āOne more,ā he tells you, and you lift your hips so he can place the cushion beneath them.Ā
āThat good?ā he asks once youāve settled again. āAre you comfortable?ā
You nod, letting a smile rise to your face. Maybe it isnāt hot or arousing or whatever else youāre supposed to be during these types of moments, but you canāt help it. Itās what he draws out of you. And Steve, to his credit, doesnāt seem to mind.Ā
He reaches for his belt, and you help him pull it off of him, shucking his jeans partway down his thighs. You wish he was bare, tooā that you could feel the strong muscles in his calves or digĀ your fingers into the meat of his thighs, but you donāt want to hear him say no if you askā even if you know somewhere deep down that there isnāt anything you could ask for that he wouldnāt give you.Ā
You reach for him, hand closing around his length, and he gives a sharp hiss. āYour hands are cold, sweetheart.ā
āThen how ābout you warm me up, baby?ā you coo, the name a weapon in your mouth.Ā
Steve sits back on his heels to look at you, spread out and waiting. He shakes his head. āSo pretty. I donāt get to see you like this enough.ā
āWhat, legs open?ā you snort.Ā
He shakes his head again. āJustā all of you.ā
The words soften something in you. Somehow, as desperate as you are, tonight feels sweeter than usualā like the debauchery and frantic need you attribute to loneliness and low station lighting has faded into the background, baring your care for one another in a dangerously sweet way. You canāt tell if you love or hate the new sensationā the openness. The honesty with yourself more than with him.
Steve leans over you again and presses a kiss to your lips, cleaner than the last. He settles in between your thighs easily, like youāre working on instinct after so many weeks of this. Reaching one hand down, he tears his lips away from yours to hear your voice as he lines himself up and pushes in.Ā
You gasp again, the fullness as always just the brink of too much.Ā
Steve chokes on his breath, pulling out and plunging in again, a little deeper.
You grab for his hips, trying to urge him on. āAll the way,ā you order.Ā
He shakes his head. āI didnāt warm you up. Itāll hurt.ā
You ignore him and try to pull him in again, but heās too strong.Ā
He groans. āBaby.ā
āI can take it,ā you promise. āYou wonāt hurt me. I need you, baby. Please.ā
He squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a breath. āHold on, pretty girl.ā
His fingers tighten on your hips, and he dutifully pulls out and thrusts the rest of the way in.Ā
You let out a sound somewhere between a sob and a scream.Ā
āYou okay?ā he makes sure, halting his movements, his thumb brushing the hair at your temple.Ā
You nod fervently. āMove.ā
āSweetheartāā
āI said move, Steve,ā you snap. āI can take it.ā
He groans again. āGod, youāre bossy.ā He begins to thrust into you, slow enough you press your fingers into his hips, secretly wishing your nails will leave the crescent-shaped marks you never get tired of seeing there.
Steveās hips snap into yours, and he kisses you again, insistent.Ā
You let the timing of his thrusts pull noises from your throat, let yourself moan out all kinds of ridiculous sentiments. You canāt help it anymore. Youāre out of control when youāre with himā spiraling down into a chaos of secret feeling.
āYou have no idea how incredible you feel,ā Steve mutters. āYou have no idea, sweetheart.ā
āI can guess,ā you make out.Ā
He frowns, probably at the fact you still have enough faculty to speak. He starts moving faster, changing his angle to be more insistent, and the string of thoughts in your head becomes garbled. āFuck,ā you grind out as he hits the spot inside of you that always makes you writhe. You can feel your orgasm building and building inside you, quicker than usual from the entire day heās spent teasing you. Youāre ready for himā you feel like youāve been ready for hours. And Steve seems to have no issue bringing you there so quickly tonight.
Steve takes one hand and presses it down against your lower abdomen, feeling himself through you. It adds the perfect amount of pressure, and itās only a few more thrusts before you go over the edge, yelling out his name, tipping your head back in ecstasy.
As you come down from the high, he kisses you again, ripping the last of the panting, desperate sounds from your mouth. āOh, God. I need you, sweetheart. I always need you.ā
āI need you, too,ā you breathe, giving him what you know he needs to follow you over the edge. āIāve been thinking about it for days. Every time we finish and go home, itās only minutes before I want you again. I canāt get enough of you, baby.ā
Steve moans out your name āFuck, sweetheartāā
You clench around him, knowing what kind of reaction that always gets from him.Ā
He yells your name suddenly and finishes inside of you, so loud you reach up and tug his head down toward you, muffling his voice with your shoulder. He grunts and bites at the skin where it meets your neck, and you gasp again as he slows and finally stills.Ā
For a moment, you simply relish that feelingā sweaty and sated and comforted by his weight laid out over you. Some secret, insane part of you thinks you might want to stay here forever, his fingers still tangled in your hair, his breath on your neck.Ā
You canāt help yourselfā you need to feel him. So you run your hands around his back and hold him for a moment, palms pressing against the blazing heat of his back. Steve doesnāt say anything for a long moment, and neither do you. Completely spent.
Eventually, he murmurs, āIām crushing you,ā and presses himself up onto his forearms again. You grip his bicep, letting him know youāre still sensitive.
āYou ready?ā he asks, brushing a hand over your hair again.Ā
You nod, squeezing your eyes shut, and try not to make a noise when he pulls out of you.Ā
Steve presses a final kiss to your temple before climbing off the couch. You watch him wander further toward the staff room, unashamed of his half-nakedness, probably trying to find something for you to drink. Aftercareā some kind of strange art heās perfected. You might be nothing to each other but hasty and hidden releases, but it doesnāt stop Steve Harrington from caring, even in his own insane way. You wonder dimly if thereās anything that ever could.Ā
At the moment, youāre not sure you could move even if you wanted to. Yanking the pillow out from underneath your hips and trying to catch your breath, you run a hand through your hair and try to keep your mind off the boy thatās been infecting it for weeks now.Ā
Steve comes back with a bottle of water and a washcloth in hand, and he runs his eyes over you where you lay spread out on the couch. You watch him swallow, probably fighting his lingering arousal.Ā
You try to push yourself up, but your arms are shaky underneath you. Steve notices and takes your hands, pulling you upward and situating you back so youāre seated, then hands you the water.
You drink from it greedily, then watch him as he does the same.Ā
āYou want help getting dressed?ā he asks you, his voice piercing the silence.
āI think I need it,ā you admit, worn-out enough that you canāt bear to keep up any more pretenses.Ā
He smiles at you, a little muted but still sweet. Slowly, he begins to hand you back pieces of your clothing, tugging your shirt over your head, helping you stand so you can slide back into your skirt. You donāt bother with your underwear, knowing itāll only add to your sensitivity, so you shove it into your skirt pocketā an action Steve marks.Ā
When youāve sufficiently tidied up the station of your indiscretions, Steve walks you out to his car, and something about the way heās holding doors for you as you go is sticking in your mind tonight.Ā
The drive to your house is silent. The only interruptions are the soft songs that drift on and off the radio and the rushing of wind through your open window, cooling the lingering sweat on your skin. You stare out at the Hawkins streets as they fly by and try not to think about himā and fail. Youāll always think about it. It will always matter to you. And it doesnāt matter how resolutely the two of you pretend otherwise.
You donāt watch Steve as he walks you to your door, determined not to let him see whatever emotion has made it past the iron walls youāve engineered to keep him out. When you make it up the low porch steps, he lingers before your door while you unlock it, then turn to look back at him, the picture of chivalry, even with his hair a disaster from your ministrations with your hands.Ā
Staring at him then, his brown eyes full of candor in the low porch light, you can think of a million things you want to ask himā a million things youāve never found the strength to say.Ā
Will you kiss me one last time tonight? Can you tell itās all Iāve been thinking about for weeks? Do you feel what I do when weāre together?
The words fall off your lips, blown quickly away into the night air. Instead, the only thing you tell him is, āDrive safe.ā
You donāt kiss goodbye. He doesnāt move to hug you. Thatās not what the two of you doā that wasnāt a part of the agreement. But you watch as Steve swallows, the hand not wedged in his pocket twitching slightly. āGoodnight,ā he tells you, his voice low. And then he turns to leave, his head down as he makes his way back to his car.Ā
āGoodnight,ā you whisper, your eyes on his back as he goes.
summary: dealing with your breakup with steve has been hard and it hurts even worse when you lose the necklace he gave you
warnings: angst, arguing, mentions of canon violence, set during season four, crying, reader is very sad, steve is lowkey avoidant, happy ending!
word count: 5.2k
from jen: i recently just lost one of the most important pieces of jewelry and my heart is broken so this is 100% self indulgent :ā)
There was a time your designated spot was shoulder to shoulder, fingers intertwined, with Steve and now you stand on complete opposite sides of the room without a single second or eye contact ā it almost felt like a piece of you had be taken away.
Actually, thatās how you felt ever since the breakup.
Your relationship with Steve came almost suddenly. You were in the same grade, you practically grew up together, but never actually interacted in school. Until senior year and he broke up with Nancy and the kid you babysat ran to you for help after his new pet alien ate his cat.
A strange friendship formed between you, Dustin and Steve but it was something real. Even when the younger kid wasnāt around, you and Steve became glued to each other. Where he went, you followed and when you moved, he moved.
What started as platonic quickly morphed into romantic.
Heād changed so much from the popular boy in high school and became someone softer. He still had that same charm and personality, but he tried to let go of all the superficial things he used to cling to.
A part of you felt like maybe heād never get over Nancy but after those months together, everything else except you and him disappeared. The two of you were together for eight months before you both started working at Scoops and then you were thrown into a whirlwind of more aliens and evil Russian soldiers.
Fighting off Demodogs with Steve at the junkyard and in the tunnels was scary enough ā more scary than either of you would actually admit ā but watching Steve get nearly beaten half to death and taking a few blows of your own? That was different.
You still had a scar across your cheekbone from the back of a guardās gun after you mouthed off one too many times.
What shouldāve been a time when the two of you really leaned on each other, almost like a trauma bond, Steve vanished. It was small at first ā he would cancel on plans, he started calling less and less, heād give you vague excuses for his sudden absence. You could feel it in your bones, the way he was slowly pulling away.
At first, you thought maybe he was just having a tough time moving past things. After all, heād gotten the brunt of the soldiers anger and he had the bruises to prove it. But it wasnāt just temporary space he wanted and two weeks after the Battle of Starcourt, Steve broke up with you. Over the phone.
Devastated couldnāt even begin to describe how you felt. You tried to reason with him, even begged him not to do it, but he was firm. He insisted you two werenāt right for each other and there was āno point in prolonging the inevitable.ā He was clear in what he didnāt say ā he didnāt love you anymore and honestly, you werenāt sure he ever did.
Almost a year had passed since the breakup and Steve has made sure to stay no contact. The only time youāve ever spoke after was when he returned your things from his house and asked for his own. The only thing you were left with was the heart shaped locket he gifted you for your birthday a few months after dating.Ā
Even though it tore you apart, you respected his decision and didnāt try to push him. You kept your distance from him but in turn, that meant distance from everyone.
Until a few days ago.
Max and Dustin showed up on your doorstep, scared and out of breath ā rushing to beg for help about Eddie Munson and the newly deceased Chrissy Cunningham. There wasnāt a chance you could say no.
So you drove them to Family Video and for the first time in months, you were around Steve again. At the sight of him for the first time in months, your fingers clutched the locket still around your neck for some sort of comfort. But even in the same room, he wouldnāt look at you. He hardly acknowledged your presence. It cracked your already broken heart even more.
You guys have spent the last couple of days tracking Eddie down and then listening to his recount of Chrissyās death. Your stomach turns at the confirmation that it wasnāt a regular run of the mill murder and instead, youāre all now sucked back into monsters and chaos.
Things began to feel really scary when Nancyās assistant turned up dead in the same manner. Not only were you faced with some inter-dimensional psycho, but also had to deal with what looked like Steve having feelings for Nancy. You didnāt miss the way he tried to follow her on her lead or the disappointment he felt when Robin took his place instead. The locket around your neck felt like a weight around you instead of providing comfort.
Everything worsened when Max connected the dots between the latest victims and confessed sheās been dealing with her own symptoms. The already high stakes raised even higher at the risk of Max being in danger.
Now, the entire group gathers around the living room of the abandoned Creel home as everyone begins to split off into groups.
Youāre standing off to the far side of the room. It feels weird being back here ā everyone seems to have their own reason for being here. Nancy wants to find justice for her assistant, Dustin wants to clear Eddieās name, Max needs to survive and Lucas is hellbent on making sure that happens, and Steve and Robin are here to protect their friends. You feel like the odd one out. Ā
Maybe itās not the time to be worrying about that ā it definitely isnāt ā but the small reminders that youāre not really apart of the group stings.
Max and Lucas pair off together, Steve and Dustin together in the opposite direction and Nancy pulls Robin along with her. As scary as the run down house seems to be, trying to sneak into one of the pairs scares you more ā so you go off alone without a hitch.
You do your best to inspect the house and every room you come across but itās hard when youāre not even sure what youāre supposed to be looking for. You continue through the house for a few minutes until you make it upstairs. When your round the corner, you still.
Because a few feet in front of you, Steve and Nancy stand extremely close. They face each other, eyes locked and gentle smiles along their faces. You canāt hear exactly what theyāre saying but Steve looks peaceful. Happy.
It makes your heart bleed and instinctively, your hand reaches for your heart locket again. You recognize that look in his eye, itās the same way he used to look at you but hasnāt in so long. Seeing them like this feels like torture but you canāt seem to look away. And more than that, it feels like an extra confirmation that Steve broke off the relationship because he didnāt feel the same way anymore.
Youād heard the whispers and the rumors about how he never really got over her and maybe this just proves it.
Your silent pity party halts to an end when Robin makes her way up the stairs and easily slides into the conversation. Steve and Nancy share a look of exasperation and she gives his arm a gentle squeeze before walking away. Itās only then that Steveās eyes trail from hers and flick up, locking with your own.
Something unreadable flashes in his eyes ā surprise, maybe? Or possibly guilt. Whatever it is, itās gone just as fast as it appeared and he follows the other girls down the hall without a word.
Thereās a pang in your chest at his indifference. Itās hard to see him act so careless about everything but maybe you should have expected as much.
Suddenly, you hear Maxās voice coming from the other room and youāre reminded of the situation youāre actually in. If heartbreak was the worst thing you had to deal with then so be it ā because the alternative is Max losing her life and you be damned if you let that happen.
The rest of the time spent in the house passes in a blur. You all came to the realization that whatever Vecna is doing, he has some sort of connection withlights and uses that to almost travel between dimensions.
Itās hours later when everyone gets back to the Wheeler home and Nancy decided on using the late hours to regroup and plan for the next few days. How to break the bad news to Eddie, how to successfully avoid Jason and the police, how to make sure Max stays safe by enforcing what Dustin coined as Max Watch.
The basement fills with overlapping chatter. Dustin and Nancy argue over which crisis is more important, Lucas is trying his best to comfort Max ā who doesnāt seem to be all that interested in talking anymore ā and Robin looks torn between staying silent and joining the argument.
Yet all you can focus on is Steve.
Heās let out his own fair share of input throughout the night and even made some arguably ill-timed jokes with Dustin. Youād like to be infuriated over the fact that he seems fine being around you and not talking but youāre not. Youāre just.. hurt.
Youāre sitting on a singular chair close to the stairs ā the spot furthest from Steve. Youāre trying to ignore the loud noises coming from everyone and before your mind catches up with your body, your hand reaches up for your locket.
Except your fingers grasp around air.
Your spine straightens in your seat and you glance down as your palm glides across the fabric of your shirt.
Nothing.
You swipe your hand across your neck, hoping it slipped under your shirt, except itās not.
Nothing but bare skin.
Panic rises in your chest almost immediately. Every sound coming from the others drowns out of your ears as you shove your jacket off, shaking it erratically in front of you in case it tangled itself there.
Nothing.
You jump to your feet in the blink of an eye and pull the cushions from the small seat ā fingers gliding across every inch of fabric in case it slipped through.
Nothing.
This cannot be happening. You couldnāt have lost it. You just had it.
Your stomach twists with anxiety as you search for it. Robin is the first one to notice the change in your behavior.
She calls your name gently. āWhatās wrong?ā
Thereās a lump in your throat that makes it hard to respond. You drop to your knees, snatching your purse from where it sat on the floor. Without a second thought, you dump everything out and onto the floor.
āMy necklace ā itās gone,ā You respond quietly. Thereās a waver in your voice and you know it doesnāt go unnoticed.
Your fingers push apart every item from your bag. Your wallet, your keys, useless receipts, loose change.
No locket. Ā
Your heart is hammering in your chest and thereās a burning feeling coursing through your veins.
āWhat necklace?ā Robin asks and without looking back, you can feel everyoneās eyes on you. Itās embarrassing but the fear of having lost one of the most important things to you overpowers that.
āMy locket. It was just here, I just had it,ā You explain. She approaches you and offers a small smile.
āItās okay, weāll find it. Where was the last place you had it?ā
āI donāt ā I donāt know. I felt it at the Creel house and thatās.. thatās the last time I can remember,ā Your voice is quiet and broken but you keep sifting through the pile of useless things from your purse.
Itās not there. Itās not in your pocket. Itās not around your neck. Itās gone.
Nancy speaks up from behind you next. āLook Iām sorry about your necklace but thatās not really important right now.ā
Her tone isnāt unkind but it is impatient. Sheās not wrong but the reminder hits a nerve inside you.
āItās my necklace,ā Your response is curt but she doesnāt let it bother her.
āWe have to focus on saving lives right now. Itās just a necklace ā you can always get another one,ā Nancy says.
āNo itās not just a necklace,ā You snap, your fingers shake as you shove everything back into your bag and your voice trembles. āItās from St āā
You freeze before you can finish saying his name. Everything around you feels too small and suffocating. Knowing how much the breakup has been affecting you is different from admitting it to everyone around you.
The hard truth is youāve been holding onto this single piece of jewelry like it was still a piece of him ā but itās not and it never will be. There was no relationship with him anymore and whether you lost the necklace or not, there never would be again.
Your eyes burn with tears as you kneel against the hardwood floor, sitting over the messy pile thatās your purse. Your shoulders drop and curl into yourself ā every ounce of fight drains from you and you finally accept whatās been right in front of you.
The necklace wonāt bring him back.
You quietly clean up the mess you made and Robin gives your shoulder a soft squeeze.
āWeāll look more tomorrow, yeah?ā She assures but you both know itās futile. Tomorrow, things with Eddie and Max could worsen. Vecna could make a real appearance. Or Jason and his wild pack of goons could become really dangerous.
You give her a small nod and then the moment passes.
Nancy insists everyone gets rest, saying tomorrow (and however long after that) will be a long day. Everyone does their best to get comfortable in the small space and without a word, you set off upstairs to find a bathroom.
As soon as the door clicks shut, your back leans against the door and tears fall freely against your cheek. Theyāre thick and hot against your skin and your shoulders rack with sobs.
Your nails dig into the bare skin where the locket used to lay as you let yourself feel it all. The heartbreak of it all and the pain of feeling like itās happening all over it.
Itās stupid. Itās a single piece of metal. Thereās a million other things for you to be worrying about right now but itās also not just a necklace. Itās that beautiful loving moment you and Steve shared when he gave it to you. Itās his nervous hands shaking as he clasped the chain around your neck. Itās the way his eyes landed on the pendant everyday after. Itās the comfort itās given you. Itās the last piece of proof that love between you two truly existed.
And now itās gone.
Steve Harrington feels like the shittiest guy on the planet.
Not only has he spent the last few days acting like he didnāt care about you, he also had to watch you panic over losing the necklace and not comfort you.
Except that was nobodyās fault but his own.
Heās been the most miserable heās been over the past few months after breaking up with you but he truly felt like it was the right thing to do. He watched you get hurt and face danger head on all because of him and his connections to the Upside Down.
It was his last straw when he woke up in the underground bunker, vision blurred from his swollen eye, and saw the deep cut across your cheekbone. It was still gushing blood but you didnāt even care ā you were fussing over him instead of yourself.
Thatās when he knew he couldnāt be with you anymore. Because you cared more about his wellbeing instead of your own and heād be damned if he let you get hurt to save him.
He knew it was cruel doing it over the phone and his āreasonsā were even more cruel but selfishly, he couldnāt stand to see the look of agony that would wash over your face if he did it in person.
His fingers gripped the phone so hard his knuckles turned white and when he heard the trembles in your voice as you begged him not to, he had to slam it onto the receiver before you could hear him cry. Ā
Everyday since then has been hell on earth for him ā but he told himself it was worth it if it kept you safe.
And then suddenly, and without him with you, you were in it all over again. Only this time he couldnāt comfort you. He couldnāt hold your hand or kiss your forehead. He gave all that up.
Steve didnāt think youād still wear the necklace he bought you but his happiness from the confirmation was short lived once you began to panic over losing it.
He came to a realization he subconsciously already knew was true. That breaking up with you didnāt make things easier for you or keep you safe ā it just hurt you emotionally instead of physically and heās made you suffer for months.
He glances down at where you lay across the floor. Youāre curled into a ball, knees tucked tight to your chest and one arm bent under your head. You seem to be asleep but you still look restless. He can still see the tear stains on your cheeks and his heart cracks.
He canāt fix what he did months ago, but he can fix this.
Steve stands quietly and his eyes dart across the room to make sure everyone is asleep. Everyone but Lucas is, he jumped for first shift of Max Watch, and he doesnāt seem to be at all interested in what Steve is doing.
He quietly gathers his things and makes his way to his car.
The Creel house is even more intimidating at night. It was once a beautiful home, thereās no denying that, but now itās covered in boarded up windows and vines growing across every inch. The air around the house is eerily quiet ā not even crickets chirp nearby.
Steve stands on the porch ā not a single street light offering him any comfort ā as he calms himself down enough to enter alone. Itās probably a dumb decision, no definitively a dumb decision, but the memory of your tear stained face, kneeling defeated on the floor is enough to make him move.
He wanders through the house with his flashlight. The floorboards creek beneath his feet and the tall grandfather clock almost mocks him. He fights every instinct to turn tail and run, and moves further into the house.
He retraces your steps the best he can. He looks through the main hallway, spends minutes at every single step of the staircase, he makes his way to the second story and examines every inch of the floor.
He makes it to the end of the hall ā the same place you stood frozen at the sight of him and Nancy. He feels guilt settle heavy in his chest. It wasnāt what you were thinking but at the time, he thought it was best to let you believe that. He was so stupid.
Steve swallows down his regret and continues moving.
He spent an hour at the house, rummaging through every corner of the rooms you stepped even a foot in and canāt find it. Heās on his last leg of hope when he enters the attic. He wanders the room, flashlight beaming across the floor as he looks for it.
Heās just about to give up when the light catches something. The reflection bounces off the metal, glaring into his eye, and before he knows it, he rushes to it.
Itās a metal chain hanging from a broken floorboard and he canāt see if thereās a pendant attached to it. He drops to his knees, careful not to shake the broken wood, and holds the flashlight over it.
His fingers gently wrap around the metal and with a little tug, he pulls the metal free. Hanging from the bottom of the chain, is the heart shaped locket. Itās a scratched now and tiny pieces of splintered wood are stuck in the clasp but he found it.
He found it.
Steve breathes out a heavy breath of relief and squeezes the jewelry in his palm. He doesnāt spend another second inside the house and rushes outside ā back to his car and back to you. Ā
By the time Steve makes it back to the Wheelers house, itās almost three AM. He knew youād still be asleep and heād spent the whole car ride back debating if he should wake you up to give it to you, or wait till morning.
His debate solves itself when he steps out of his car, the locket still clutched tight in his fist, and sees you sitting on the front porch of the house. Ā Ā Ā
He freezes at the sight of you so close to him. Itās the first time you were alone and without distance in months. Everything he thought about saying flies out the window and all he can do is look at you.
You look up when you hear him approaching and surprise flashes in your eyes. Heās not sure what you thought when you saw he was gone ā if anything at all ā but itās clear you werenāt expecting to see him like this.
Your hands fidget with the hem of your shirt and he can tell youāre uncomfortable. He never thought heād see you like that because of him. He hates it.
Your mouth parts like youāre about to say something but he beats you to it.
āI have something for you,ā He says.
His voice fills the tense air but the sound of it is like music to your ears. Itās soft and cautious ā a hint of exhaustion blanketing it. You blink up at him from where you still sit on the porch step.
āFor me?ā Your brows furrow. He takes a step closer to you and holds his hand out.
Sitting in the center of his palm is a necklace. Your necklace.
You jump to your feet once recognition hits. A relieved gasp slips past your lips and you rush towards him, fingers tenderly cradling the metal.
āYou found it?ā You breathe out and hold the necklace in your own hands. Your voice is thick and tears line your eyes again. āI donāt ā I donāt understand, how did you find it?ā
Steve feels his heart pound when you look up at him with shiny eyes.
āIt was at the Creel house, stuck in the attic.ā He explains quietly. Heās almost too lost in the way you look right now. Undoubtedly exhausted and heartbroken over the necklace but still so fucking beautiful.
āYou went back?ā
He nods and watches the way your eyes glance down, taking in the state of him. He almost feels subconscious.
āWhy would you do that?ā Your voice rises with concern and it takes him aback. āSteve, you couldāve been hurt! We have no idea whatās going on and Robin created the whole no-going-off-alone thing for a reason. Why would you do that just for a necklace?ā You chastise him.
Itās ironic that youāre saying itās just a necklace now when a few hours ago, you were ready to bite Nancyās head off for saying the same thing.
But this time Steve risked his life for it and that was stupid.
āBecause itās important to you.ā Steve says easily. Your breath hitches as he stares down at you. Thereās a finality in his voice that makes your heart ache. He says it like itās obvious ā only itās not obvious and it hasnāt been for a long time.
You shake your head and inhale shakily. Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you squeeze the necklace in your palm. You have no idea how to respond and nothing feels adequate anymore.
āSteve..ā Your shaky voice trails off but he fills the silence.
āYou have a scar,ā Steve nearly blurts out.
Confusion flashes across your face but he raises his hand to stroke against your cheek. His fingers trace the raised scar across your skin and you fight the instinct to lean into his hold.
You know without more explanation that whatever his reason is for mentioning the scar, it has to do with the breakup.
āSo what,ā Your eyes searched his as you spoke. āYouāre ā youāre grossed out because of my scar?ā
Insecurity fills your chest and you move to pull away from his hold. It almost feel like it burns now. His eyes widen and heās quick to shake his head.
āNo! No ā no thatās not what I mean,ā He raises both hands to grab your hands and hold you in place across from him. He says your name gently and you can see his hazel brown eyes swirl with so many emotions. āWhat I meant is you have a scar because of me,ā
You faltered for a moment. āSteve, I got it from the blunt end of a pistol,ā
āExactly!ā He exclaims and your brows pinch together. āYou literally got pistol whipped because you were trying to protect me. You got hurt because of me,ā
It slowly begins to dawn on you what heās saying but he doesnāt let you offer any defense before he continues.
āBaby, you have no idea what it felt like to see you hurt like that and how it felt to know it was because of me,ā You barely have a chance to bask in the slip of a pet name because he keeps going. āI thought I was doing the right thing back then. I thought I was keeping you safe by walking away ā thatās all Iāve ever wanted to do, because Iād rather live in a life time of agony alone than drag you into danger. I canāt do that ā I wonāt do that.ā Steveās voice cracks and your chest tightens. āBut you got dragged into it anyway and this time, youāve been alone and thatās my fault. I hurt you worse than youāve ever been hurt before and Iām sorry, baby ā Iām so fucking sorry,ā
By the time Steve finishes, his palms have somehow found home holding your face. The tears that threatened to fall have spilled down your skin and wet his hands. Unaware to himself, his own eyes gloss over with tears.
Itās a terrible reason to have broken up with you and a deep part of you is angry that he didnāt just have a conversation with you but the biggest part of you is so fucking relieved to hear those words come out of his mouth.
Because itās not that he didnāt love you anymore, it was that he loved you too much.
You breathe in a shaky breath and bring your freehand up to grip his wrist. āSteve..ā
He leans his forehead against your own and his eyes flutter shut ā a few stray tears slide down his cheeks and your heart shatters at the sight. Youāve spent so much time thinking he didnāt care but in reality, he was living the same hell you were.
You whisper his name but when he doesnāt move, you gently pull yourself away from him to bring the locket up to view. āSteve, look at me,ā You murmur. He doesnāt take his hands off your face but he obliges. āYou didnāt open it, did you?ā
His eyes glance at the chain in your hand. āThe necklace? No,ā He shakes his head.
You give him a tearful smile and nudge it towards him. He doesnāt seem to get the hint. āOpen it,ā
He looks hesitant to let you go but when you give him another gentle encouragement, his hands move from your skin to hold the locket. He sniffles as he opens the metal.
His fingers still once itās laid open in front of him.
Tucked inside the hearts are two pictures ā one of the two of you on a date and the other of just him smiling softly into the camera.
His heart constricts in his chest at the sight of it. It wasnāt just that you still wore the necklace ā you still carried him with you. Everyday since he gave it to you.
You let the silence sit for a moment before speaking up.
āSteve, it never mattered if we were together or not. I would follow you into danger every time. You couldāve been dragged to hell right now and I would still jump in after you because I love you, Steve. So mu āā
Youāre suddenly cut off when he slams his lips against yours. The feeling of his lips fitting perfectly with yours is dizzying relief and your hands cling to his shoulders. You hold onto him so tight, like youāre afraid heās about to slip away, and his hands cradle your face just as tight.
Steve is overwhelmed with every ounce of love heās ever felt for you and you feel just the same.
His mouth slots against yours as he pours everything into this one kiss. He feels warm and fuzzy against you and itās like all the torturous moments away from him completely fade away.
āI love you so ā so fucking much,ā Steve whispers against your lips, careful not to break contact, and you donāt even pretend to fight the smile that breaks out on your face. āSo much baby, so so much,ā
He continues to repeat it even as his lips travel from your lips and across your skin. He leaves messy kisses to your cheek, along your jaw, even over your eyelids until he lands back on your lips.
You hold each other close and breathe in each others air for as long as you can until he finally breaks apart from you ā but he still doesnāt go far and rests his forehead against yours. You both nearly struggle to catch your breath but youāre both smiling wide.
It all feels right again. Perfect.
You carefully pull the necklace from his hand and hold it up again. āWill you put it on me?ā
Steve nods without hesitation and carefully turns your hips to face away from him. Your pull your hair over one shoulder as he pulls the chain around your neck. His warm finger tips brush against your skin and tiny goosebumps erupt over you. The metal is cool against the warmth of your body ā right where it belongs ā and Steveās hands glide across your shoulders after he clasps it in place.
You turn in his hold and wrap your arms around his middle. You look up at his beautiful eyes and he stares back down at yours. āI missed you,ā You confess softly.
He nods above you and his thumb glides across your cheek. āIāve missed you even more, sweet girl.ā
Thereās a million and one things to worry about tomorrow. The state of the world, Maxās safety, Eddieās freedom and so much more but thereās not a sliver of doubt inside you that you canāt deal with it if heās by your side.
And you know with absolute certainty, heāll always be with you.
ā.š Ģ cw ā mdni, smut, p in v, unprotected sex, cum eating, oral (f and m receiving), kinda subby!steve at the start, pet names, steve is also lowk a munch, praise kink, steve is hopelessly in love with reader, heās also kinda cocky, slight body dysmorphia??, some body shaming, belly bulge
ā.š Ģ summary ā after a very terrible date and a big blow to your ego, steve helps you find clarity on whether youāre the issue in a very unconventional way.
ā.š Ģ authors note ā hi guys! i lowk feel like this kinda ate but please lmk if it suckedā¦ it was a tiny but rushed at the end because i really wanted to get it out but its whatever. also currently writing sparks again yayyyy!!! please send in any smutty or fluffy requests you have :p
ā.š Ģ wc ā 6.16k
ā¹āĖā§ļøµāæāąØį°ą§āāæļøµā§Ėāā¹ please do not copy, rewrite, or repost my works on any other platforms or pages.
bitter was the best and only way to describe how steve harrington was feeling as he sank into the couch in your shared living room. he was watching some rerun of a film heād seen a thousand times over with an uncomfortable pit in his stomach as he thought about the date you were currently on.
youād been talking on the phone to robin about it all day. and unfortunately for him, your bedroom walls were thin. he could hear everything. how he was a little older, richer, and extremely built. it made him want to rip his ears off for the rest of the conversation.
being roommates with you was easy. you made it so easy to be comfortable and happy in this little apartment. you were sweet, considerate, and fun to be around. and one of his favorite bonuses was that you loved cooking and baking. that meant he always had some sort of home-cooked meal waiting for him when he got home from work with a tasty desert to follow.
you always did the dishes at the end of the week (not that there were many because you always did them after you cooked), kept the house clean, kept your music down, and helped him whenever he needed advice or needed to rant. you were always there for him no matter what.
but being roommates with you was so hard. not because you were hard to live with, obviously, because he was falling so hard for you. hearing you tell him about your dates, watching you get all pretty for another man, seeing you come back all cheesy and excited. it made his heard squeeze in his chest every time. because surely, that should be him.
the longer he thought about it, the more he wanted to just curl up and die. he stuffed a miserable handful of popcorn into his mouth and lousily chewed it, throwing his head back and wishing youād just come home and say it was the worst date ever known to mankind.
almost as if heād manifested it, he heard a soft knock at the door before hearing the knob turn carefully. he quickly swallowed down the snack in his mouth and sat up to look towards the front door. it opened slowly, like you were afraid heād be sleeping, before you appeared with tears streaked down your cheeks and a permanent frown on your lips.
his heart snapped in two right then and there. āwoah. hey, you okay?ā he asked, throwing an arm over the back of the couch so he could turn and face you to talk to you clearer. āwhat happened?ā
you let your purse fall from your hand onto the ground before sulking your way over to sit beside him, letting out a loud huff as you plopped down. āit was mortifying, stevie. iām so embarrassed,ā you muttered shyly and brought your hands up to cover your face. ājust kill me already.ā
a soft chuckle left his lips as he shifted his body towards you a little bit. āiām sure itās not worth dying over,ā his voice was sweet and comforting, trying to gently coax out any sort of details from you. ātalk to me. tell me what happened.ā
you let out another sigh and closed your eyes to try and protect yourself from the reaction. āi couldnāt make him hard,ā you blurted out.
steveās eyes just about bulged out from his head. āwhat?ā he asked, brows furrowed in towards each other. never mind the jealous surge in his chest, all he was focused on now was caring for you. āwhat do you mean?ā
your cheeks blushed a deep shade of red from the mortification. finally, you turned to look at him. āthe date was fine, right? everything was goodā great even! then he said he wanted to take me back to his place and then we started making out andā and he just couldnāt get hard!ā you explained in a quick ramble. āgod, this is so embarrassing. iāve blown guys before and this has never happened.ā
his face scrunched up before he could stop it. he could feel that uncomfortable heat in his chest. jealousy? bitterness? anger? he wasnāt really sure right now. āhey, itās not embarrassing. thereās a lot of different reasons that couldāve happened,ā he said reassuringly. āwere you two drinking?ā
your brows furrowed slightly at that. āi meanā i guess, yeah. just a little bit,ā you replied, picking up what he was starting to hint at.
āmaybe it was the alcohol? drinking can make it harder to, yāknow, get it up sometimes,ā he explained awkwardly. āor maybe heās on steroids. heard somewhere that that can make you real limp down there.ā
now it was your turn to scrunch your face up in disgust. āew, steve. donāt say it like that,ā you groaned and stood up. reliving this conversation would make you cry some more if you had any tears left. āi havenāt even told you the worst part yet.ā
his eyes scanned over your figure before deciding to follow you to your bathroom like he often did when youād get up mid-story and start to wander. āwhatās the worst part?ā he asked timidly, closing the lid to your toilet before taking a seat on top of it while you took your makeup off.
āpromise you wonāt make fun of me?ā you asked softly, not daring to look at him. you just continued carefully washing your face over the sink.
he was looking at you with so much love and adoration that it wouldāve solved all of your worries the moment you even glanced at him. āi promise,ā he said firmly. āwhatever it is, iām sure iāve told you some stories that are way worse. iām probably the last person allowed to judge.ā
you wiped your face down with your towel before turning to face him. you couldāve screamed out of embarrassment just from recalling it. āhe told me my boobs were weird.ā
steve choked. like genuinely choked. āwhat?!ā he blurted out, a mix of confusion and shock. ājust like that? he justā he told you your boobs were weird?ā
a small squeal left your lips at the reiteration of the worst sentence ever. seriously, you felt like dying. regret bubbled into your throat. āgod, this is so humiliating. like, seriously.ā you set the towel down on the drying rack and looked at yourself in the mirror. āi can never show my face out in public again. likeā ugh! i mean, what the fuck. have you ever told a girl her boobs were weird?ā
steve had a soft furrow between his brows, looking genuinely concentrated and concerned all at once. you couldnāt help but think he looked so cute. āuhh, no? i donāt think iāve ever even seen boobs that looked weird,ā he reasoned honestly. āboobs are boobs, yāknow? likeā i donāt know. i think theyāre hot no matter what. i wasnāt aware there was a rule book for how boobs should look.ā
your hands were resting on your hips as you analyzed him, looking for any sign that he was lying. he wasnāt. not one bit. suddenly, a new thought flickered through your head.
steve was hot, of course he was. youād always thought so since youād first signed that lease. he had that pretty smile that made you go stupid, a certain twinkle in his chocolate eyes, and a softness that made you blush every time. āi have an idea. but you have to be open minded.ā
you literally watched steve gulp. hard. āand that is?ā
ācan i try something with you?ā you blurted out before you had time to overthink it. āon you, i guess? you can say no! i wonāt get offended orā or get all weird on you. i promise. i justā¦ i wanna see if maybe iāve been doing something wrong orā¦ā you trailed off nervously, an aggressive blush coating your cheeks.
a sweet smile spread over his lips. you couldnāt tell whether it was a cocky one or a comforting one. you really hoped it was the second option. āyeah, if youāre okay with that.ā
that was it? all you had to do was ask? āyeah, totally. it would give me some peace of mind,ā you replied gratefully, trying not to give away how excited you truly were. āthank you so much, stevie. seriously. youāre doing me the biggest favor.ā
steve wished you knew how big of a favor you were doing him actually. heād spent countless nights hoping for this. he silently thanked every star heād ever wished upon. āthe pleasureās all mine,ā he said smoothly, standing up from his spot on the toilet seat. his eyes stayed locked on yours the entire time.
youād be lying if you said that alone didnāt turn you on. his eyes were just so captivating. you made your way through the doorway and towards your bed, sitting and waiting expectantly for him to join you.
he was quick to follow and sit up against the headboard like he owned the space. it felt surprisingly natural. you shuffled a little closer before pausing. āis it okay if i kiss you? i justā i feel like maybeāā
his hand found your cheek to pause your nervous rambling with that same subtle but sweet smile on his lips. ācāmere,ā he whispered, like speaking too loudly would ruin the moment.
you let him gently guide you closer to him before his pillowy lips met yours in a soft kiss, slowly testing the waters. surely he could hear how your heart was practically beating out of your chest now.
the hand on your cheek moved to hold the back of your neck while the other moved to hook around the back of your thigh to pull you into his lap. the new seat in his lap helped save your back from the uncomfortable position and awkward posture.
your lips moved in tandem like it was second nature, his tongue sliding across yours with a quiet groan spilling from him. the sound alone made heat rush through your body. your hands made their way into his hair to gently tug at the roots, pulling the sweetest moan from him.
this was certainly boosting your ego more than youād like to admit. never would you have guessed heād be so vocal.
the burn in your thighs grew more as the intensity increased, prompting you to allow yourself to fully sit in his lap. thatās when you felt it. one of the main reasons for this.
steve was hard. painfully so.
you couldāve swore he whimpered from the pressure of you on top of him. one of his hands, the one resting on your thigh, moved to your waist to pull you further into him until you were chest to chest. his scent was overpowering and intoxicating all at once. surely this night would actually kill you.
once you were sure the awkwardness had fully dissipated, you moved your lips down his jaw slowly and towards his neck, licking and sucking softly at the skin there. the way his hands squeezed at your hips, so responsive and needy, was enough to make you want to drop everyone else and stay here with him forever.
your hands made quick work of his shirt and mindlessly threw it somewhere on your floor as you kissed down his chest and to his waistband. it was hard to stay focused when he looked this pretty beneath you. pupils blown wide, lips swollen and slick, cheeks tinged pink, hair tousled and messy, chest heaving faster than heād like. he looked absolutely wrecked and you hadnāt even gotten to the good part.
within a few seconds, his belt was off and you were laying between his legs helping him get his pants off until he was just in his boxers. even with the thin fabric on, you could see just how big he was.
you pressed a few soft kisses over the bulge before looping your hands into his waistband and tugging them down. a small gasp left at the sight of him. āoh my god.ā
āwhat?ā he asked, shifting slightly like he was scared heād done something wrong. worry was visibly flooding his body. āis everything okay?ā
you placed a hand on his thigh just above his knee to calm him down. āyouāre jusā huge, stevie,ā you replied, borderline in awe. he was big and thick with the prettiest pink tip.
he let out a nervous laugh and exhaled the breath he didnāt know heād been holding in. his body began to slowly relax against the sheets again as he stared down at you, his pretty brown eyes now glazed over completely.
you gently took his heavy length into your hand and began to press soft kisses up the underside of it. your palms and lips were so incredibly soft, it made a shiver run trough his body. he was solely focusing all of his energy on not blowing his load right now.
because at the end of the day, this wasnāt about him. it was about helping you figure out whatever it was that you needed clarity on. if you were to ask him, heād say you already got your answer. but if you wanted to keep going, heād say surely wouldnāt stop you.
not when it felt this good.
and definitely not when you looked this pretty between his legs. your eye were a little glassy as your lips stretched around his tip and sucked softly on it. one of his hands moved to your head, lightly tugging at the roots without pushing your head. he was letting you go at your own pace.
your thighs squeezed in a useless attempt to alleviate the growing ache between your legs as you took steve further into your mouth. you could see his stomach tense as he left out a quiet whimper. āohāholy shit. feels sāgood,ā he slurred, completely drunk off of you already.
one of your hands pumped his length as you kissed down the shaft and gently took one of his balls into the warmth of your mouth, moaning as you sucked on the skin. the taste of him was something you were sure you wouldnāt get enough of.
ābabyā mphm! slow down,ā he moaned, throwing his head back against the headboard as his legs tensed. āyour mouthā oh! feels like fuckinā heaven. making me feel so good, honey.ā
you pulled away for a second to show him a toothy grin, twisting your fist at the base of him. āyeah?ā you teased, pressing sweet kisses to his tip before letting spit pool into your mouth and drip down his length to help provide some more slick.
steve nodded and scratched at your scalp, biting his lip so hard he could taste blood. āmhm,ā he hummed in response. he smiled down at you and for a moment, you felt your heart stop. there were some strands of hair falling over his eyes, his cheeks pink, his lips red and swollen, and his chest heaving. you took him back into your mouth and bobbed your head up and down his length, massaging his balls at the same time. āso fuckinā good.ā
he was struggling to say the least. his stomach was tensing repeated, his fingers curling in your hair, moans spilling lewdly from his lips. and when you pushed yourself a little further and took almost all of him down your throat, he was squeezing everything in him to try and last just a little longer.
āoh my fuck. babyā you gotta stop,ā he pleaded through his teeth with a whine, though his actions were working against him as his hips bucked up into the warmth of your mouth. āgonna come. oh! ām coming.ā
and before you knew it, his hand was planted firmly on your head as he came down your throat, hips rocking lightly up into you. āhoāholy shit. fuck! iām sorry. iām so sorry,ā he whimpered as more of his load poured down your throat while holding you in place.
you moaned at the taste, making his hips buck up even further at the vibration. you slowly pulled off of him when the ropes of cum came to a stop. you swallowed every last drop and kissed up his heaving chest and back to his lips.
his hands immediately found your hips and pulled you onto him to straddle him once again. āhow was that?ā you asked with a knowing grin, voice a little grainy from the strain on your throat moments earlier. your eyes held a new hunger that had him hardening between your thighs immediately.
he huffed out a laugh and tipped his head back. āfucking amazing,ā he replied immediately with a dazed smile. ādonāt think iāve ever come that hard in my life. thought i was seeing stars for a minute there.ā
you giggled as a bright blush creeped up your neck and onto your cheeks. āso you think i get an a plus then?ā
he clicked his tongue and turned his head to look at you again, so much adoration and warmth behind his eyes. āan a plus doesnāt even do it justice,ā he stated, pulling you a little closer to him. āthat was fucking unreal.ā
you let your head fall into the crook of his shoulder to try and hide your smile. he let you lean your weight against him, closing his eyes and taking in the familiar scent of your shampoo that he loved so much. the two of you stayed like that for a minute or so.
when you finally pulled back to look at him again, you swore you died right then and there. his eyes were half-lidded and he had this big toothy smile on his lips like a kid on christmas. you couldnāt help but lean closer and kiss him.
it was so sweet and tender and soft. not like the first one. neither of you were rushing or trying to prove a point. just present in the moment with each other. he moaned quietly when you licked into his mouth and allowed him to taste himself. he just couldnāt get enough of you.
his hands wandered down at tugged at your pretty shirt that hugged your figure in the best way. he could feel your hesitation, the comment from your date clearly affecting you more than youād let on.
steve pressed sweet, loving kisses to your cheek, down to your jaw, down your neck, and to the skin of your shoulder as he helped unzip it blindly behind your back. your body tensed the slightest bit as he carefully pulled down the straps and tugged it off of you.
he was absolutely captivated by you and how gorgeous you were. he wasnāt sure heād ever seen someone so beautiful in his life until now. you were crafted to absolute perfection. you could hear him swear under his breath as his gaze scanned over your bare chest. āthese are what he called weird?ā he asked, his hands sliding up your stomach to gently cup the soft mounds. āwhat a fuckinā idiot.ā
his lips pressed slow kisses into the skin of your sternum as he trailed his way down to one of your breasts, sucking on the skin lightly enough to pull a reaction from you without leaving marks. even though he so desperately wanted to. your hands moved to tangle in his hair, lightly tugging when he began working his tongue over your nipple. āoh! stevieā hmph, feels good.ā
he paused momentarily to smile up at you, completely dazed and enamored by you. āyeah? tell me what you need, honey.ā
āwant you to keep going,ā you almost begged, pushing at his head the slightest bit to get his lips back on you. and he was sucking at your breasts again in an instant, groaning against the skin like he was tasting something extravagant. āandā fuckā need you inside me.ā
youād been subconsciously rocking your hips against his length this entire time and you were almost positive he could feel your wetness through your underwear. āfuck,ā he muttered under his breath, closing his eyes for a quick second to recollect himself. āneed you to tell me if you wanna stop at any point, ok?ā
you nodded quickly, biting at your lip and humming in agreement. you reached between your legs to pull your underwear aside and give his length a few strokes, spreading the precum that had beaded at the tip. you could hear a strangled noise in his throat when you lined him up with your core.
his hands quickly bunched your skirt up around your waist and planted then firmly on the bare skin there as you sank down so he could get the best view. his mouth dropped open immediately as he watched his tip disappear into your weeping hole, your cunt greedily attempting to suck in even more of him.
you allowed yourself to take him in a little further before you were mewling at the fullness you already felt. it was like you were being split open. āstevieā fuck. youāre so big,ā your eyes squeezed shut when you hit a small point of resistance. āmhpm. canāt take it. ās too much.ā
steveās hand pressed into your lower back to hold you close against him just before he flipped the two of you over and used his other hand to keep himself from leaning his full body weight onto you. āoh, i know, honey. already takinā me like such a good little slut,ā he cooed against your chest, lapping his tongue over your nipple and softly biting the skin around it. āgonna make it fit inside this pretty cunt.ā
his lips trailed up the side of your neck and back to yours, pulling you into a searing kiss while you adjusted. he was giving you these shallow, barely there thrusts and slowly pushing into you more each time. you could feel your eyes stinging at the pain.
the hand no holding him up snaked between your bodies and rubbed deliberate circles over your clit. āshit. so tight and warm. sheās jusā fuckinā crying for me, huh?ā he mumbled against your mouth, biting at your lower lip.
you could feel the slow slide of hot tears run down your cheek as he bullied his cock further into you with each thrust. it wasnāt as painful now, but the slight pressure and burn was definitely still there. and you felt so incredibly fully. your arms moved to wrap around his neck and pull him further on top of you, his weight grounding you in a way. āholy fuck, stevie,ā you whimpered through your cries. āyouāyouāre so deep.ā
he peppered sweet kisses along the side of your face and neck. āi know, baby. i know,ā he cooed, rubbing quicker circles so youād open up for the last few inches of him. āthis greedy little pussyās jusā suckinā me back in. taking my cock like a good girl. fuck. yālook so pretty like this, honey. all needy and soft fāme.ā
your heart skipped a beat at his words. you wouldāve never guessed that steve could be so good with words during sex. after one more slow drag of his hips, you finally felt his skin press flush to yours, now fully seated inside of you. āoh, stevie,ā you cried, pushing lightly at his stomach like you were trying to create some room to alleviate the pressure in your stomach. āso full. fuckā ās too big.ā
āneed to stop?ā he asked, his eyes wide and cautious as he searched your teary ones. his hand that was planted by your head moved to gently wipe at the ones that escaped.
even though it felt like you were actually being split open, it felt fucking amazing. you shook your head and bit down on your bottom lip. ādonātā donāt wanna stop,ā you whispered. ājusā go slow. please?ā
steve flashed you a sweet smile and pulled your lip from between your teeth to lay soft kisses over it. he sat back up on his heels and ran his hands down your torso, feeling the faint bump of skin there. he pressed down on it lightly only to hear a loud mewl from you. āshit, honey. can see my cock inside your fuckinā stomach,ā he cursed, completely focused on the imprint of him.
he grabbed your hand and let your fingers run over the bulge in your stomach, grinning as he watched something akin to pure desire wash over your face. āyouāre fuckinā perfect,ā he muttered, picking up your legs and placing them over his shoulders as he leaned back down to kiss you. āmy perfect girl.ā
his lips were back on yours immediately as he swallowed down your moans. you were a complete wreck. the new angle pushed him even further in a way that felt like heaven without any aching. your nails dug into his firm biceps when he began to slowly pull out and roll his hips back into yours.
his tongue soothed over yours and gently sucked on the muscle like he had all the time in the world. to him, nothing else mattered except you right now. and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure you knew that.
one of your hands snaked up his shoulders as he and into his hair, lightly pulling at the strands to make him shudder. once he was sure you werenāt in any sort of pain anymore, his pace began to quicken slightly.
steve pulled back the slightest bit to look at you, smiling at your fucked out state. he thought you looked like an actual angel right now with you pink cheeks, puffy lips, hair falling around your face perfectly, and your lips parted as moans slipped out. he just wanted to keep you here like this forever. āso beautiful, baby. such a gorgeous girl,ā he whispered softly, pecking your lips again like he couldnāt get enough of you.
you felt heat creep up your neck as you let your eyes fall shut. you were sure youād never felt this good in your life. especially when one of his hands came down to rub at your clit. āholy shitā stevie! iām so close. please. donāt stop. oh fuck. please donāt stop,ā you babbled mindlessly, feeling completely dumb beneath him.
he smiled and laid a sweet kiss to your tense calf beside his head. āyeahh, thatās it. iāve got you, honey,ā he said softly. ālet me have it. wanna feel you come around my cock.ā
you swore youād seen stars right then and there. your legs began to shake with one particular thrust against that sensitive spot inside and steve caught on almost instantly. his hips angled forward to keep drilling at that spot, making you cry out as the edges of your vision blurred. āoāoh! iām coming. fuckā iām coming, stevie!ā
his head tipped back when he felt your cunt spasming around him, greedily sucking him back in with each thrust. āshit! such a good girl for me, baby. mphm. your cuntās like fuckinā heaven,ā he slurred, completely drunk off of you. āpretty cuntās squeezing me so tight. oh fuck. gonna milk me dry, honey.ā
you could feel hit tears run down the sides of your face with overstimulation. he was hitting all of the right spots like heād known your body for years. āplease! want it so bad,ā you cried out. āināinside me. need toā ah!ā need to feel you.ā
his hips and rhythm faltered at your words, suddenly making his thrusts erratic and much sharper. your nails dug into his shoulder as he pounded you into the mattress. āhoāholy shit!ā he groaned as he pressed his hips tight to yours and let go.
warm ropes of his release filled you up in the most delicious way. he sat up and back enough to let your legs down from his shoulders, the limbs feeling like jelly immediately. he didnāt pull out. instead, he rolled onto his side next to you, letting you do the same so you were facing him. he grabbed your thigh and pulled it over his hip, pressing his cock perfectly into your cervix.
your body immediately began to relax in the embrace of his arms around you. it was like your brain had completely shut off and allowed him to take over for you. his hands rubbed soft, slow laps up and down your back to soothe you as you two laid in silence for some time.
steve was the first to break it. ādonāt see him again.ā
his voice was quiet but the intensity in it was unmistakable. āwhat?ā you whispered, voice a little more hoarse now as you tilted your head on the pillow and looked up at him.
ādonāt go out with that guy again,ā he doubled down, his eyes much softer when he looked down at you. he just wanted to kiss you again until you couldnāt breathe. ājusā stay here with me instead.ā
you let out a soft breath of humorless laughter to hide the way his words got your hopes up, assuming he was making some stupid joke. āsteve, what are you talking about? you know i donāt like casual.ā
his brows furrowed like he was genuinely confused by that. āwho said anything about casual?ā
now it was your turn to look at him like he was the crazy one. āyou only ever do casual,ā you replied as if it were obvious.
one of his hands moved to gently wipe a piece of hair from your forehead so he could see your face a little better. āthis doesnāt have to be casual,ā he said surely, looking between the two of you. āi wanna be with you. andā and not just because of this.ā the air in the room shifted immediately. āi havenāt been able to stop thinkinā about you since i moved in.ā
the loud ringing of the phone on the bedside table broke the silence. and somehow, steve knew who it was immediately. it made his blood boil. āanswer it.ā
your face scrunched up in confusion. āwhat? why would iāā but he was already pulling out of you and sitting up to reach for the phone. you whined at the loss but quickly quieted down when he picked up the phone. you could hear the familiar voice on the other end. steve handed you the receiver. āhello?ā
āhey, baby. i just wanted to call and check in on you after tonight,ā brad, the man you were out with earlier. āi know it went a little rough, huh?ā
steve was shuffling over top of you, pressing quiet kisses to your neck and down towards your chest. your eyes widened at him, silently pleading with him. for what? you werenāt sure. he nodded to the phone, prompting you to reply. āoh, uhm, yeaāyeah. it was, uh, it wasnāt the best.ā
brad let out a nervous laugh. āyeah, you could say that,ā he replied awkwardly. ālook, iām really sorry. i justā iām not really used to being with women like you.ā steve could hear the conversation loud and clear as he kissed over your stomach and laid down comfortably between your legs. he rolled his eyes at the comment and licked a long stripe up your dripping slit. āyouāre just so young andā¦ i donāt know. i guess iām just used to being with women who have a little moreā yāknow.ā
you knew what he meant. and youād be lying if you said it didnāt hurt your feelings a little bit. but with steve lapping at his own cum dripping from your cunt, you couldnāt find it in yourself to dwell on it. āoh,ā you replied breathily, grabbing onto his hair with your free hand. āright. makes sense.ā
brad sighed on the other end, giving you enough time to pull the handset away from your face and cover the transmitter so he couldnāt hear you. āstevie, fuck, youā you have to stop,ā you whined, moaning when he sucked on your clit. he looked up at you through his messy hair and shot you a wink when he heard the voice calling out to you again.
you brought it back to your ear and began twirling the coiled cord between your fingers to try and distract yourself. āyou still there?ā he asked.
āmhm,ā you hummed, eyes fixated on steve. his were shut now as he devoured your cunt like a starved man. youād never seen someone enjoy this as much as he was right now.
there was another awkward pause from brad. āwell, i was thinking,ā he began. āand yāknow, with me being pretty busy and all, it wouldnāt be too much of a bother for me if you wanted to go out again.ā
your face quickly contorted into one of disgust, as did steveās. he looked genuinely pissed off now. a new fire ignited in him as he licked and sucked at your cunt with more pressure than you could handle at the moment. his hands hooked around your thighs to pull you even closer, moaning softly into your folds.
a squeal escaped you just before you could slap a hand over your mouth. ābaby? you there?ā he repeated again.
your hand moved down to shove at steveās head in a useless attempt to get him to slow down. instead, his tongue pressed into your weeping hole. āyeah, mphm! iām here. sorry, i justā i stubbed my toe.ā you bit down on your lip hard to keep the scream bubbling in your throat at bay. āuhm, so about thatā that date. i jusāā
āis everything okay?ā he asked bluntly. you could hear him pacing back and forth on the other end.
you really hoped he couldnāt hear the obscene sounds of steve between your thighs. āyeah! yes, you kind of, um, caught me at a bad time,ā you lied through clenched teeth, staring down at your roommate. āi was justā¦ mphmā i was working out.ā
he seemed to have accepted that answer enough to explain why youāre breathing was so erratic and why you could barely speak. āyou home alone? i could come over and make it up to youāā
āno!ā you answered a little too quickly, covering your mouth when steve slid two of his fingers inside of you and massaged your gummy walls. āmy, uhmā my roommate is home. and about that date,ā you trailed off and pulled the phone away for a second to let out a shaky breath as your stomach tensed. āi donāt think itāsā itās not gonna happen.ā
you could hear him scoff on the other line. āwhat? are you serious? it was just one bad night. i meanā i took you out to dinner, i paid, i took you back to my place. i did everything i was supposed to andāā
if steve wasnāt making you feel unreal right now, you were sure youād go off on him for being so stupid and arrogant. you couldnāt find it in you to care enough about anything other than your roommate. ālook iā hmph! itās not gonna happen and i really, really need to go.ā
you carelessly jammed the phone back into the cradle on your bedside table and ran your fingers through steveās hair, tugging at his roots when his fingers hit that sensitive spot inside you. āstevie! iām closeā so fuckinā close!ā
he looked up at you at grinned, sucking on your clit and laving his tongue over it with a pressure that made you see stars. ātastes likeā heaven, honey. such a fuckinā loser to let you go.ā
your head tipped back into the pillow as your legs shook, locking around his head when the tight coil snapped in your stomach. his hands held your thighs spread open, fucking you through it so deliciously. āthatās it, sweet girl. soak my fuckinā hand,ā he cooed, kissing along the inside of your thighs to help you come down. āthere you go. so goddamn perfect fāme.ā
your body was completely destroyed now, laying limp and exhausted in your bed. he slowly pulled his fingers from you and sucked them clean, moaning at the taste of your juices. his chin was glistening with your release which he didnāt seem to mind at all.
steveās lips ghosted a trail of kisses up your stomach, chest, neck, and back to your lips. his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you in closer to him, throwing the blanket over you in the process. he couldnāt help but smile at your sleepy state. āsoooā¦ no more dates?ā he asked playfully, voice barely above a whisper.
you let out a giggle and shifted further into him, resting your head on his chest. āgod, youāre such a fool, harrington.ā
his lips pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head and held you a little tighter. āas long as i can be your fool.ā
tags: idol au, established relationship, smut, possessive jungkook, jealous jungkook, angry sex, public venue, secret encounter, overstimulation, protective jungkook, soft jungkook after sex.Ā Ā
tropes: "everyone is looking at you but you belong to me", "overprotective boyfriend", "marking what's mine", "secretly hooking up in a public place", "he acts tough but he's a softie for her".Ā Ā
warnings: 18+, explicit smut, rough smut, public/semi-public sex, bathroom sex, fingering, finger fucking, rough penetration, wall sex, marking / biting, blood (from biting), creampie / internal ejaculation, leaving the venue without cleaning up / leaking semen, wet sounds, overstimulation, risk of getting caught, jungkook is a jealous idiot but he's deeply in love, praise kink, post-orgasm aftercare.Ā Ā
word count: 7.1k
summary: You find yourself at an exclusive VIP after-party celebrating the end of a major award show, wearing a tight black dress and sharing a laugh-filled conversation with Soobin. Everything seems like the perfect night, until you lock eyes with Jungkook, your boyfriend, across the bar. His patience has worn thin, and his dark eyes promise an explicit punishment right in front of everyone. In the end, the cold marble walls of the bathroom will become the only witness to a fury fueled by jealousy, marks on the skin, and a wild possessiveness.
The tight black fabric of the dress clung to your curves like a second skin, cut so low in the back that you felt the cold air of the lounge every time you moved. You adjusted the edge of the fabric, smiling as Soobin let out a clean laugh, leaning over to make himself heard over the electronic music vibrating against the walls of the private club. The venue was packed with celebrities, producers, and neon lights that tinged the atmosphere with purple and bluish hues, creating a dense, exclusive ambiance.
Soobin, looking impeccable in his designer suit, touched your shoulder naturallyāa gesture of pure friendship that they had shared for years in the industry, but one that in an environment full of curious eyes seemed much more intimate. He spoke into your ear, his lips almost brushing the strands of your hair to beat the volume of the bass.
"Really, Y/N, if you don't stop wearing these dresses, I'm going to have to play your bodyguard all night," Soobin joked, keeping his hand resting on your shoulder while gesticulating with his other hand, which held a glass of champagne. "Half the club is devouring you with their eyes, and I don't want to have to fight anyone today."
You laughed, throwing your head back in an exaggerated gesture, and took a sip from your own glass, letting the liquid warm your throat. "Don't overdo it, Soobin. It's just a black dress. Besides, I'm perfectly safe with you here."
You tucked a strand behind your ear, and as you looked down, a sharp, intense sensation of warmth ran down the back of your neck. It was that sixth sense that activated only when he was around. Instinctively, you looked over Soobin's shoulder, searching the far end of the VIP bar, the darkest and most secluded corner of the private section.
There he was.
Jungkook hadn't moved from his spot in the last hour. His long fingers were wrapped around a glass of whiskey on the rocks, but he wasn't drinking. He wore a jacket over a black silk shirt with the first few buttons open, revealing the beginning of the tattoos that crawled up his neck. His jaw was so tight that you could feel the muscle's tension from across the room. His dark eyes, completely fixed and charged with a cold, possessive fury, were pinned directly on Soobin's hand, which was still resting on your bare skin.
Far from looking away when you caught him, Jungkook held your gaze. He slowly dragged his eyes up from your cleavage to your lips, and then locked them onto yours again with a wild intensity that made you swallow hard. There wasn't a hint of your boyfriend's usual sweetness on his face; his gaze promised explicit punishment, a warning that you were playing with fire. The contrast between the casual conversation you were having with your friend and Jungkook's quiet possessiveness across the room immediately quickened your pulse.
"Are you listening to me, Y/N?" Soobin asked, noticing your distraction as he gently ran his fingers down your arm to get your attention.
"Yes, of course," you lied, feeling your pussy suddenly wet at the thought of what Jungkook was thinking at that moment. You forced yourself to look at him again out of the corner of your eye. Jungkook had just set his glass of whiskey on the bar with a thud. You watched as he deliberately unbuttoned another button of his shirt without taking his dark eyes off you, as if warning you that his patience was completely gone.
You took a step closer to Soobin, seeking to tease Jungkook a little more, brushing your shoulder against his chest as you gave him another bright smile. "I just got distracted by the music. Were you telling me what happened to the producer the other day?"
Soobin kept talking animatedly about the new concept for his upcoming album, gesturing with his hands and smiling at you with that blind trust he had in you. You tried to focus on his words, nodded, and let out a soft laugh at the right moments, but the reality was that your mind was elsewhere. You felt the skin on your back tingling and hot, as if the air in the VIP club had suddenly become dense.
You looked over Soobin's shoulder to search for the dark corner of the bar again, but you froze when you realized that Jungkook was no longer there. Your glass was halfway to your lips. Panic mixed with an intense rush of adrenaline hit your chest. You quickly looked around the crowd of celebrities and purple neon lights, searching for his tall figure and black shirt.
Then you found him.
Jungkook had moved toward the VIP lounge area, right in your direct line of sight, just a few meters from where you were standing with Soobin. He had sat down on a black leather couch under a red neon light that cast dangerous shadows over the sharp features of his face. He rested his arms wide across the back of the sofa, stretching his body with a dangerously masculine laziness, and spread his legs wide in a completely dominant manner.
He stared at you with his dark eyes the exact second you discovered him. He didn't blink. He did not disguise it. He held your gaze with such wild fixity that you felt a sudden, wet spasm between your legs, soaking the lace of your underwear beneath the tight dress.
You shifted the weight of your body from one foot to the other, trying to maintain your composure in front of Soobin, but Jungkook noticed your nervousness and a sly smile, almost imperceptible and full of smugness, tugged at the corner of his mouth. He knew perfectly well what he was provoking in you.
Slowly and deliberately, Jungkook lowered his gaze to your cleavage, running his eyes over the black fabric that squeezed your breasts. Then, he widened his legs even more on the couch. You watched as he lowered one of his tattooed hands toward his crotch, adjusting himself in front of your eyes with total shamelessness, revealing the thick and rigid bulk that already marked the fabric. He had a completely hard cock just from watching you interact with another man, and he was showing it to you as a direct challenge.
You clenched your fingers around your champagne glass so tightly that your knuckles turned white. Your lungs starved for air. You watched as Jungkook, without taking his hungry eyes off yours, ran the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, slowly moistening it, promising you with that single gesture everything he was going to do to you with his mouth as soon as he had you alone.
"Y/N, are you really okay? You look a little pale," Soobin's voice brought you back to reality, breaking the invisible thread that linked you to Jungkook for a second. Soobin took another step toward you, worried, and placed a hand on your arm to comfort you.
That simple physical touch was the final trigger. From the couch, you watched as Jungkook's expression instantly transformed. The amusement disappeared from his face, replaced by a shadow of pure possessiveness and jealous rage. His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened again in a brutal way. He held your gaze one last time, slowly nodding his head toward the hallway that led to the VIP restrooms. It was not a suggestion; it was a direct, icy order. If you didn't move right then and there, he was going to get up and force you out of there in front of everyone.
Your legs trembled under the tight black dress, feeling your pussy drip from the sheer anticipation of the punishment that awaited you. You set your glass down on a high table with clumsy hands and looked at your friend, forcing the most natural smile you could manage.
"Yes, Soobin, I'm fine. It's just so hot in here," you said, your voice a little higher than normal from the lack of air. "I'm going to run to the bathroom for a second to refresh my face and touch up my lipstick, okay? I won't be long."
"Sure, go ahead. I'll wait for you here," Soobin replied with a friendly smile, totally oblivious to the silent war that had just taken place behind his back.
You turned around, feeling Jungkook's eyes burning into your backside as you walked. You crossed the VIP lounge at a hurried pace, your heart pounding against your ribs with a physical, excruciating need to feel his hands on you. You stepped into the dark hallway of the restrooms, pushing open the door to the private marble cubicle with the absolute certainty that it wouldn't take him a minute to slip in behind you.
You entered the private bathroom and immediately leaned your back against the heavy wooden door, releasing the air you had been holding in your lungs. The silence of the place, broken only by the muffled hum of the bass from the music outside, hit you suddenly. You looked at yourself in the great black marble mirror; your cheeks were on fire and your breathing was so altered that the neckline of your black dress rose and fell erratically. You ran your hands down your thighs, trying to smooth out the clinging fabric, but before you could take a step toward the sink, you heard the sound of the doorknob turning behind you.
You instinctively stepped aside as the door opened and Jungkook came in like a whirlwind, slamming it behind him. The latch turned with a sharp, definitive click that echoed off the tiled walls.
You didn't have time to speak. Jungkook stepped forward, his face hardened by icy fury, and firmly grabbed your arms to smash your back against the cold marble wall. You gasped from the impact, but the contrast of the stone's cold against your bare skin only served to make your pussy even wetter, already dripping under your underwear. Jungkook crowded you, overpowering you with his massive body, forcing you to feel the stiffness of his erect cock pressing hard against your belly through the fabric of your dress.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing out there, Y/N?" Jungkook hissed, his voice so hoarse and low that it vibrated right in your chest. His dark eyes, completely dilated with rage and desire, swept over your face before locking onto your lips. His tattooed hands gripped your arms with a possessive force that made it clear you had no escape. "Did you enjoy watching him touch you? Do you like being looked at that way in front of everyone?"
You frowned, feeling anger and frustration mix with the intense excitement that had him so out of control. You tried to push against his chest, but it was like trying to move a rock; his muscles were completely tense beneath his black silk shirt.
"Jungkook, enough! I've explained it to you a thousand times, damn it," you exclaimed in an angry whisper, trying to keep your voice low in case someone passed through the hallway. "Soobin is my friend. I've known him for years, long before you and I started dating. We weren't doing anything wrong, we were just talking about his damn album."
"I don't give a flying fuck about his album, and I don't give a rat's ass about how long you've known him," he interrupted, closing the remaining distance to brush against your lips roughly. He didn't fully kiss you, torturing you with his agonizing proximity. His whiskey-laced breath flooded your senses. "I saw the way you laughed. I saw how he touched your shoulder and how he stroked your arm. I know exactly how he looked at you, Y/N. That guy wants to fuck you just as bad as I do, and you just stand there, smiling at him in a dress that clings to every single damn curve."
"He's my friend, Jungkook! He doesn't look at me like that; you're the one being completely paranoid," you shot back, throwing your head back as his mouth dropped down to your neck. You gasped for air the moment his clenched jaw grazed your sensitive skin. "You always do the exact same thing whenever he's around. I'm not going to stop talking to him just because you can't control your damn jealousy."
Jungkook let out a guttural growl, a possessive sound that ran down your spine like an electric shock. One of his hands released your arm to climb straight up to your neck, wrapping his long fingers around your throat looselyājust enough to force you to tilt your head back and look straight at him, catching your eyes with an icy fixity.
"Jealousy? Of course I'm jealous, dammit. It drives me crazy that anyone thinks they have a chance with you," he confessed through gritted teeth, his ragged breath hitting your face. His eyes went down again to your cleavage, where your breasts rose and fell heavily from the argument. "You're mine, Y/N. No one else's. And it makes me sick to have to sit on a damn couch watching other men lick their lips while staring at your body through that fabric. I'm not going to share you with anyone, is that clear?"
"I'm not an object, Jungkook. You don't have to share me because I'm your girlfriend," you replied, your voice cracking because the pressure of his hand on your neck and the hardness of his cock brushing against your core were clouding your judgment. Your pussy was pounding in an excruciating way, soaking your lace completely, wishing he would just stop talking and rip your underwear off at once. "You can't expect me to hide in a corner every time we go out."
Jungkook barely softened his grip on your neck, but only to slide his fingers toward the back of your head, tangling them tightly in your hair to pull you back. His gaze became purely hungry, losing what little patience he had left.
"I don't want you to hide," he whispered, brushing his nose against yours, letting his lips graze yours with wild urgency. "I want everyone to know that the only one who spreads your legs at night is me. And right now, you're going to apologize to me for making me wait so long while you were having fun with him."
You didn't have time to respond to his demand. Jungkook shortened the remaining distance and crashed his lips onto yours in a wild, wet, fury-laden kiss that made your knees tremble. You closed your eyes tightly, clinging to his broad shoulders as he devoured you without a hint of patience, thrusting his tongue into your mouth to claim your space, savoring the champagne you'd drunk and forcing you to follow a frenetic pace that took your breath away in seconds.
With a jerky motion, Jungkook pulled your hair back with the hand on the nape of your neck, forcing you to arch your back and completely expose your throat. You let out a muffled moan against his lips that he swallowed smugly. He lowered his kisses down your jaw, leaving a trail of hot saliva that cooled suddenly with the air from the bathroom, until he stopped right in the curve of your neck, where your pulse beat wildly.
"You're going to learn to respect me, Y/N," he growled against your skin, and before you could process his words, he dug his teeth hard into the sensitive tissue of your shoulder.
You felt a sharp prick of pain that made you let out a gasp, digging your nails into the fabric of his black shirt. The pressure of his teeth was maintained for an eternal second, barely tearing the surface layer of skin until a warm thread sprouted from the small wound. When he pulled away, a perfect drop of blood ran down your collarbone. Jungkook looked at you with completely dark eyes, dilated by adrenaline, and a wicked smile appeared on his face. He lowered his head slowly and ran the tip of his tongue over the wound, licking the trickle of blood with an almost animalistic pleasure, tasting you as if you were his property.
"Mine," he repeated hoarsely, dragging the word against your ear as he left you trembling from sensory overload.
His hands wasted no more time. They went straight down the sides of your body, burning through the fabric of the clinging black dress until they reached the hem. With a dry, violent tug, Jungkook pulled the fabric up to your waist, leaving your bare legs exposed to the cold air of the marble bathroom. He forced you to spread your legs by pinning one of his knees between your thighs, forcibly separating them to gain space.
Your fingers clung to the edge of the sink when you saw his tattooed hand go straight down into your underwear. He hooked the lace impatiently and tossed it aside unceremoniously, leaving your core completely exposed. The first contact of his long fingers against your clitorisāwhich was already ridiculously soaked, hot, and throbbing with the lingering heat of the argumentāmade you let out a high gasp.
"Just look at you... you're dripping for me, damn it," Jungkook hissed, looking down, fascinated by the wetness covering your labia. "You were all smiles for that asshole, but it's because of my cock that you're so fucking open and wet."
He rubbed his thumb with direct force over your clitoris in quick, heavy circles that made you instinctively arch your hips toward his hand, reaching for more. Just as you were about to beg him not to stop, Jungkook curled two of his fingers and slipped them into your pussy, sinking them all the way down without a shred of mercy.
"Jungkook!" you shouted, burying your face in his neck as your vaginal walls contracted violently around his fingers, trapping them in your own heat.
He did not stop; he began to pump inside you with a fast, hard, and steady rhythm, matching it with his thumb, which continued to pound your clitoris relentlessly. The wet, dirty sound of his fingers going in and out of your soaking wet pussy began to echo off the walls of the VIP bathroom, mingling with your desperate gasps. You moved uncontrollably against his hand, losing your mind from the sharp pleasure that his punishment was causing you.
"You're going to cum for me right now, Y/N. I want to see how you come on my fingers before I bury my cock inside you," he ordered in your ear, increasing the speed of the pumping, driving his fingers deeper and deeper, looking for that exact spot inside you that made you lose consciousness.
The friction was so intense that you felt like you were burning inside. Your eyes filled with tears of pure pleasure and your vision began to blur. You felt the first wave of orgasm build up in the pit of your stomach, expanding into your thighs, which wouldn't stop shaking.
"I'm cumming, Jungkook... I'm going to cum," you groaned desperately, throwing your head back, pressing your buttocks against the marble wall.
"Do it, damn it. Soak my fingers," he demanded, pushing harder.
The orgasm struck you like lightning. You let out a gasp that was instantly muffled when Jungkook covered your mouth with his free hand, forcing you to swallow the sound while your pussy suffered brutal spasms, squeezing his fingers violently as you expelled jets of hot fluid that soaked his hand and wrist completely. You stood suspended in the air, panting against his palm, your body limp and completely defeated by the climax.
Jungkook didn't give you a single second to get used to the impressive length that filled you completely. Without pulling out, he yanked your hips back violently and rammed into you again with a sharp blow, causing your buttocks to slam against his pelvis with a wet, loud smack that echoed off the walls of the bathroom. You let out a high-pitched scream that was cut short when he started fucking you at a frenetic, hard, and ruthless pace, sinking into your pussy with an animal force that made you stagger against the marble sink.
"Shit, Y/N... you're so fucking tight," Jungkook gasped against your ear, his voice broken with pleasure, alternating his thrusts with a speed that was making you lose consciousness. "I swear it blows my mind how perfectly you fit me, fuck. No other girl feels like you."
You stared into the mirror with your eyes completely blurred, watching your breasts shake under the black fabric of the dress with each of his wild thrusts. Jungkook was staring at you through the reflection, his eyes bloodshot, completely out of control. The pleasure of having his huge cock sliding in and out of you at that speed mixed with the delicious humiliation of his words, making your clit throb with unbearable force.
"But I'm still mad at you," he hissed suddenly, his tone shifting to a much colder one as he thrust so deep it made you arch your back to the absolute limit, tearing a heartbreaking moan from your throat. "It makes me want to break you right here for letting him touch you. I want you to feel every damn inch of my cock so it's clear to you who this pussy belongs to."
"Ah, Jungkook! Moreā¦ Harder!" you begged with a broken voice, losing your mind, moving your hips back to meet his thrusts with the exact same violence.
"Shh... shut your damn mouth," he ordered immediately, lowering one of his tattooed hands to firmly clench your jaw, forcing you to look at him in the mirror while he delivered three thrusts in a row that made you see stars. "Don't make a sound. We're in the VIP area of the party. Anyone could push that door, break the latch, and walk right in."
The mention of the real danger sent an electric shock straight to your spine. Suddenly, a perverse and extremely hot fantasy settled in your mind, sending your pulse racing. You imagined the door opening. You imagined people in the industryāor worse, Soobin himselfāwalking down the hallway, calling your name, pushing the door open, and finding you exactly like this: completely helpless, with your black dress pulled up to your waist, your hips flushed red from Jungkook's brutal pace, and his huge cock driving in and out of your soaked pussy, making you squirt right in front of him.
The mere thought of Soobin seeing you being torn apart by Jungkook's pleasure, moaning like a whore for him, turned you on in a destructive way. Your pussy twitched in a spasm so violent that Jungkook let out a wild growl, feeling your vaginal walls almost strangle his member.
"Fuck, Y/N... how you squeeze... does it excite you that they can see us?" he asked with a wicked smile on his lips, instantly capturing your reaction. His words became even dirtier, brushing your ear with his wet lips. "Think of your little friend Soobin outside, waiting for you. Imagine if he walked in right now and saw you with your legs wide open, devouring my entire cock while I fill you with my cum. Would you like him to see us fuck? Would you like him to see how I leave your pussy dripping with my cum?"
The morbidity completely overwhelmed you. You let out a loud, undone groan, unable to contain the tremendous wave of excitement that flooded you. Realizing how loud you had been, you immediately clapped both hands over your mouth, pressing your fingers against your lips to drown out your next screams.
Jungkook had no mercy; he took advantage of the fact that you were completely disarmed and overexcited to grab your hips tighter. Leaning a little more over the marble, he began to fuck you from behind with an even rougher rhythm, pounding you mercilessly while you could only emit muffled noises and sobs of pure pleasure behind your hands.
You were completely lost, your hands pressed against your own lips to hold back the screams as Jungkook continued to charge at you from behind with a brutal cadence. Your buttocks were burning from the friction and your pussy was pounding so intensely that you felt like you were going to explode at any moment. The wet smack of each thrust resounded loudly in the black marble bathroom.
Suddenly, three sharp, firm knocks on the wood of the door cut through the air.
You froze completely, opening your eyes wide in the reflection of the mirror. Jungkook also stopped instantly, leaving his huge cock buried to the hilt inside you, staying completely motionless. The silence that settled in the cubicle was suffocating, broken only by his agitated breaths and the sound of your chests colliding.
"Y/N? Are you in there?" Soobin's voice came from the other side, strangely clear and close. "You've been in there for a long time. Since you didn't answer my messages, I got a little worried. Is everything okay?"
Absolute panic ran down your spine. You looked at Jungkook in the mirror, imploring him with your gaze to be silent. But a wicked smile, charged with a hot, dark malice, appeared on your boyfriend's face. Jungkook not only didn't stay still, but he began to move his hips again in an extremely slow way, burying himself and coming out of your pussy millimeter by millimeter, making him brush against your swollen clit in such a precise way that you had to bite your lower lip to keep from shouting his name.
"Answer him, baby," Jungkook whispered in your ear, his voice barely a breath, brushing his nose against your sweaty, wet cheek. "Tell your little friend that you're perfectly fine. But watch your tone, because if you moan, I'm going to push hard."
Your hands gripped the edge of the sink so tightly that your knuckles ached. The slow rubbing of his member against your soaked vaginal walls was delicious torture. You swallowed hard, trying to stabilize your breath before opening your mouth.
"Yes... Soobin, I'm here," you managed to say, horrified by how shaky your own voice sounded. You paused for a second as Jungkook pushed a little deeper, causing you to close your eyes from sensory overload. "I'm fine... it's just... my dress got ruined and I'm trying to fix it."
"Ah, I understand," Soobin replied from the hallway, his voice denoting total innocence. He didn't have the slightest idea that you were leaning over the marble with your black dress pulled up to your waist, completely sealed around Jungkook's hard cock. "Do you want me to wait for you out here, or should I go back to the VIP bar?"
Jungkook's smile widened upon hearing his friend's question. To test your endurance, he thrust a little fasterānot hard enough to make noise with the impact of your bodies, but deep enough to make you gasp. A high-pitched moan almost escaped your throat, but you bit your tongue just in time, transforming the sound into a heavy sigh.
"No, Soobin... go back to the bar," you replied quickly, the air missing from your lungs as you felt the hot fluids slipping down your thighs from Jungkook's movements. "I... I'm going to take a little longer. I'll catch you there in a few minutes."
"Okay. Don't be long. I'll save your spot," Soobin finally said, and within seconds, you heard the subtle sound of his footsteps fading away down the club's hallway.
As soon as silence reigned again, you dropped your head forward, resting your forehead against the cold mirror, completely exhausted by the psychological toll of almost being caught. Jungkook let out a hoarse sigh and grabbed you firmly by the chin, forcing you to lift your head so you would look at your reflection next to his. His dark eyes shone with a mixture of possessive pride and unbridled desire. He planted a wet kiss on your cheek, right where your tears of pleasure mixed with sweat.
"Damn, Y/N... you're a work of art," he praised you in a broken voice, completely fascinated by your submission. He gently stroked your hip before tensing the muscles in his legs once more. "You behaved so well. Talking to him with my cock deep in your pussy... You're going to drive me crazy. You're the hottest, most perfect girl in this damn world."
The pace became completely relentless. Freed from the paranoia of Soobin listening, Jungkook gave himself entirely to instinct, ramming into you with an overwhelming force that made you hit the marble sink again and again. The sound of his thrusts, the friction of his tattoos against your back, and the suffocating heat of the bathroom dragged you to the edge of the abyss. You felt the climax building with savage violence in your belly, making you lose all track of time and space.
"Jungkook... I'm going to cum, it's coming, fuck," you moaned, throwing your head back, seeking his lips in a desperate, tangled kiss.
"Take it all for me, baby. Receive it all," he gasped, delivering three brutal thrusts that made you see stars.
The orgasm hit you with the force of a tidal wave. Your pussy twitched in violent, painfully delicious spasms, squeezing his cock with brutal force, imprisoning him in your own heat. Jungkook let out a completely animalistic growl as he felt your vaginal walls strangling him; the stimulation was too much for his own control. He delivered two final, blind thrusts, burying himself deep inside you, and came with a series of powerful jerks, filling you with jets of thick, hot cum that you felt expanding all over your core.
They stood like that for a whole minute, united, your chests rising and falling heavily, listening only to the echo of their ragged breaths in the bathroom.
Little by little, the adrenaline of jealousy and fury began to dissipate, giving way to that warmth so characteristic of Jungkook. He pulled out of you slowly, letting out a soft sigh, and immediately grabbed you by the waist to turn you around with extreme delicacyāthe exact opposite of his roughness from just a few minutes ago.
He gently leaned you against the sink, supporting your weight because your legs were still shaking like jelly. You looked at his face; the hardness of his features had completely vanished. His dark eyes gazed at you with a devotion and tenderness that melted your chest. Jungkook looked down at your shoulder, where the small mark of his bite still glowed with a trail of dried blood. Extremely gently, he cradled your face with his tattooed hands and pressed his forehead against yours.
"Baby... are you okay?" he asked in an extremely low voice, hoarse but loaded with genuine concern. He stroked your cheek with his thumb, wiping a strand of wet hair from your forehead. "Did I hurt you? Tell me if I was too rough or if I made you feel bad because of what I said... Fuck, I went crazy with jealousy, but I would never want to hurt you."
You smiled weakly, your heart pounding, but this time out of pure love. You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I'm fine, Kook. I'm perfectly fine. I loved it."
Jungkook heaved a sigh of relief that seemed to come from his very soul. He lowered his head and began to pepper your face with soft, slow kisses; he kissed your eyelids, the tip of your nose, and then moved down to your shoulder, leaving a warm, prolonged kiss right next to the woundāsilently apologizing through your skin. His hands slid down to your hips, giving you slow, comforting caresses that made your skin crawl in the most beautiful way.
"I love you," he whispered against your neck, pressing you a little tighter against his body as if he wanted to make sure you were real. "I love you so much I'm afraid I'll go crazy over you, Y/N. You're the only thing I care about."
"I love you too, Kook," you replied, hiding your face against his chest, inhaling his expensive cologne mixed with the scent of sex. "Much more than you can imagine."
They stayed wrapped in each other's arms for a few more moments, enjoying the peace after the storm. However, the reminder that you were still in the bathroom of a VIP club rushed back into your mind. You felt the warm moisture of his cum slowly sliding down the inside of your thighs, reminding you of exactly what had just happened.
You pulled away from him slightly, reaching for the paper towel dispenser. "Well, I have to clean up a bit and fix my dress before Soobin starts to really get suspicious out there."
But before you could tear off the paper, Jungkook's tattooed hand landed over yours, stopping you firmly. You looked at him, confused, but saw that the wicked, possessive spark had rekindled in the depths of his dark eyes. A sly smile tugged at his lips.
"You're not going to clean up, baby," he said in a voice that turned dangerously sexy again, pulling your hand away from the dispenser.
"What? Jungkook, it's leaking, it's going to stain my dress," you protested, feeling your core clench suddenly at the implication of his words.
"I don't give a shit about the dress," he said, pulling down the black fabric to adjust it over your hips, covering you up again but leaving all his cum trapped inside you. He smoothed your dress possessively, patting your buttock gently. "You're going to walk out just like this. I want you to walk around the club, talk to your little friend, and say goodbye to him feeling my hot cum run down your legs with every step you take. I want you to remember who filled your pussy every time you look at his face. We're going home right now, but you're leaving exactly like that."
You sighed.
It took you a couple of minutes to compose yourself in front of the mirror. You touched up your lipstick with slightly shaky hands, adjusted your hair to try to hide the mark of his bite, and smoothed the fabric of your black dress. As you took your first step toward the door, you felt a warm, thick thread slowly slide down your inner thigh. Your core clenched hard. It was a deeply intimate, overwhelming sensation; you were walking through a public venue completely filled with him.
You left the bathroom alone, just as Jungkook had planned so as not to arouse suspicion, leaving him inside for a couple more minutes. You crossed the corridor and entered the bustle of the VIP area again. With each step you took, the movement of your legs caused Jungkook's cum to slide a little more, soaking your underwear and making you feel a constant electricity between your thighs.
You walked to the bar and found Soobin in the same spot, holding his glass and looking down at the dance floor. When he saw you arrive, his face lit up with a friendly smile, totally oblivious to the perversion you had hidden under your dress.
"You're finally back, Y/N! I was already getting worried," Soobin told you, taking a step toward you. He looked at you intently for a second, squinting. "Wow, you look... a little different. Your cheeks are very red. Are you sure you're okay?"
You squeezed your legs instinctively, feeling the hot flow build up in your core for fear that he would notice it. You forced the most natural smile possible.
"Yes, Soobin, I'm fine, don't worry," you replied, trying not to let your voice tremble. "But actually, I came to say goodbye. I have to go now."
Soobin opened his eyes wide, clearly surprised and disappointed. "What? Why are you leaving so early? The party is just getting started, they still need to bring out the best DJs, and we wanted to talk to the producer, remember? Stay a while longer, please."
The morbidity of listening to his pleas while you felt the semen of the love of your life dripping down your skin turned you on in a destructive way. You looked Soobin in the eye, knowing that if he knew what had just happened to your body five minutes ago in the marble bathroom, he would be completely floored.
"I'm really sorry, Soobin, I'd love to stay," you lied in a hurry, settling your bag on your shoulder. "My head started to hurt a lot because of the noise, and the truth is that I don't feel very well. Tomorrow I'll text you and we can talk about the album calmly, yeah? Enjoy the party."
"Well, if you feel bad, I'm not going to force you," Soobin relented with a resigned sigh, but gave you one last affectionate smile. "Take care of yourself, baby. Let me know when you get home."
"Yeah, I'll let you know. Bye," you said, turning around quickly before your body betrayed you.
Walking to the exit of the club was delicious torture. You crossed the VIP dance floor, feeling how the thick cum finished staining the lace of your underwear, threatening to seep into the fabric of the black dress with each stride. You stepped out of the venue into the cold night of the city, where a line of luxury cars waited by the sidewalk.
A few meters away, you immediately recognized Jungkook's imposing black car. You approached at a brisk pace, and just as you reached the driver's side door, the tinted glass rolled down slowly and deliberately.
Jungkook was leaning back against the leather seat, now without his jacket and with the sleeves of his black silk shirt rolled up, showcasing his tattooed arms. He looked you up and down with a sly smile, charged with a supremely sexy self-sufficiency. His dark eyes flashed with pure possessive amusement at the sight of your slightly tormented face.
You leaned against the window frame, tilting a bit toward him, and looked at him with a defiant, flirtatious gleam in your eyes.
"What are you laughing at?" you asked him in an amused whisper, though your breathing was still a little shallow. "Let me tell you one thing, Jungkook... If I get into your precious car right now, I'm going to smear your leather seats with your own cum. It's driving me crazy how much it's running down my legs because of you."
Jungkook let out a low, hoarse laughāan incredibly hot sound that vibrated right in your belly. Far from worrying, his gaze became even darker and hungrier. He stretched his hand out the window, gripping the back of your neck firmly to force you to lean a little further into the car, pressing his lips to your ear.
"I don't give a flying fuck about the car, baby," he whispered in a dark, husky voice that soaked you completely. "Get in right now. If you stain the leather, you're wiping it off later with your own tongue. Move, I'm finishing the job at home."
You let out a soft giggle, feeling a delicious chill run down your spine and a rush of adrenaline that quickened your pulse at the promise of his punishment. You let Jungkook steal a quick kiss from your lips before he released the back of your neck, and you walked around to the passenger side. The blast of the heater greeted you instantly, along with that characteristic scent of leather and his expensive cologne.
You adjusted your black dress carefully, although at that point you didn't care if it got stained or not; having his mark running down your legs made you feel completely claimed. Jungkook started the car, slowly pulling away from the club's curb to merge into the illuminated city streets.
Keeping one hand steady on the steering wheel, Jungkook stretched out the other and placed it on your thigh, squeezing the fabric of your dress gently. Looking at him out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his lips pull into an adorable little pout, his eyes fixed on the road but wearing that little boy expression he got when he was still feeling a bit sulky.
"Still, I think you spent way too much time smiling at him," he muttered in a tone that was meant to be serious, but completely betrayed how much he wanted your affection. "I didn't like seeing him so close to you at all."
It brought you so much warmth to see him acting like a tender, jealous boy that you unfastened your seat belt for a moment to lean toward him. You rested against his broad shoulder and began to pepper his right cheek with kisses, climbing up to his cheekbone and then down to the corner of his mouth, interrupting his complaints with loud, wet kisses.
"I already told you that I only love you, my handsome jealous boy," you whispered between kisses, caressing the back of his neck with one hand while he tried to suppress a satisfied smile at your undivided attention.
"Okay, I get it," Jungkook protested with a low chuckle, though he tightened his grip on your thigh, tugging up the hem a bit to trace your skin with his tattooed fingers as he drove the rest of the way home.
A/N: Wow, I am absolutely speechlessā¦ we officially hit 1,000 likes on my first story, and Iām literally crying! š Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the incredible love and support, you made me the happiest person ever. Here is officially my second OS! š Iām still super nervous, but I truly hope you guys enjoy this one too. Any thoughts or feedback are more than welcome! ā¤ļø
When you graduated top of your class with a marketing degree and a job already lined up, you werenāt big-headed to assume you would be given a lot in the beginning. No, you knew that you were the new kid on the block and needed to prove yourself first, needed to work your way up from the bottom. But what you definitely didnāt anticipate was working up from the figurative trenches, almost exclusively doing busyworkāconstantly making coffee runs, catering business lunches, printing out endless spreadsheets.
Eighty-thousand dollars in debt, and you are a glorified intern.
While youāre positively itching to hit the ground running and get your hands dirty, your job isnāt too bad. The people there are all nice and welcoming, the complimentary coffee in the break room is decent enough for your dwindling bank account, and every quarter the company sponsors an employee barbecue where everyone can fraternize and enjoy free food.
āApparently it fosters unity and teamwork,ā your coworker Joy informs you as you both stand in the food line. āSeokjināthatās our CEOāis really big on unity and teamwork.ā
Joy is also a member of your marketing team. Though friendly, she has zero filter and thus always has a lot to say about everythingāwhich has helped you when it comes to learning the ropes about the company, but has also had you clutching your imaginary pearls in certain situations where you found her topic of choice inappropriate.Ā
Despite only being a year older than you, her title of Marketing Associate instead of your measly Assistant means that she technically outranks you, though she doesnāt usually enforce that fact (unless there was something that needed to be copied or filed, of course). Still, she immediately took you under her wing when you first started and is the closest person to a friend you have at work (even though her daily coffee order is always so ridiculous, you are convinced that she has to be fucking with youāor at least engaging in some form of mild hazing).
āI think itās nice,ā you reply truthfully. āIāll never say no to free food, and they let us out early and everything.ā
āI mean, pretty sure you can get the hotdogs twelve in a pack at the dollar store,ā Joy quips, raising her eyebrows at you pointedly. āBut sometimes the boys from Sales take their shirts off and play soccer, so thereās that.ā
Your eyes dart to said Sales Boys against your will, gaze drawn to Jung Hoseok as he chats animatedly with his teammates by the tables. Youāve only spoken to him once or twice, but his fiery red hair and even brighter smile caught your attention immediately, your heart rate accelerating at the sight of him in hallways mere days into starting your new position. Who better to have a mild work crush on than a sweet-talking salesman who winks at you sometimes in passing?
An appreciative noise has you turning back around, embarrassed at being caught ogling how shapely Hoseokās butt looks in his dress pants today, but itās just Wendy from Accounting, Joyās best friend and thus a harmless, familiar face. Wendy has cut in front of a few editors to join you and Joy, and the way that she smiles at you lets you know sheās up to no good. āHeās cute, huh?ā she asks, leaning towards you conspiratorially. āI would definitely give him the good olā suck behind the dumpsters over there, if you catch my drift.ā
āErrā¦yeah, I do,ā you reply awkwardly. She had been explicitly clearākeyword explicitāso there definitely isnāt any room for misunderstandings. Is this truly appropriate work function conversation? From the way the editors behind you are politely clearing their throats, you think not.
āBehind the dumpster?ā Joy asks curiously. āThat sounds unnecessarily smelly. Heās standing right next to some sturdy tables that I, for one, would take great advantage ofāā
āIām gonna go get us some drinks,ā you announce loudly, your neck heating up. āCan you grab me a hot dog, Joy?ā
āSure,ā she says dismissively, already distracted by her sudden debate with Wendy about the most convenient place to suck off salesman Jung.
āAnything good?ā you ask cordially, making your coworker, who had apparently been deep in thought while considering his beverage options, startle a bit.
Heās tall, his large frame covered in the appropriate business casual attire of nice jeans and a powder-blue button-up. When he turns his head to look at you, youāre met with large, dark eyes blinking in surprise from behind wire-rimmed glasses. Said eyes dart around for a moment before determining that you were, in fact, speaking to him.
The man clears his throat. āJust the usual,ā he says, voice soft. Timid.
āThe usual?ā you repeat. There are little hoops dangling from his earlobes, and you brush off your surprise at seeing them, returning your gaze to the coolers. Water, a clear soda, a cola. āThe basics, you mean. Well, canāt really complain, right? Seeing as itās all free. I think itās really nice of them.ā
Your companion seems surprised at your words. āIt is,ā he agrees softly, eyes meeting yours for a second before dropping back down to the cooler. āUm, are you...are you new?ā
āDamn, I guess my coverās blown.ā You shoot him a wry smile. āYeah, I just started a couple of weeks ago. What gave it away?ā
āItās justāno one else here really cares about these barbecues anymore,ā he admits, looking at you, but not quite. More like, in your direction. āEveryone has forgotten to appreciate the little things.ā
āNothing is a given,ā you shrug. āSo you need to appreciate things when you can. And besides, those lots of little things can really add up without you realizing it.ā
He finally seems to look at you properly, and the weight of his large, gentle brown eyes throws you off for a second. āThey can,ā he agrees, lips slowly drifting up.Ā
āWhat do we have over here?ā a loud voice interrupts, a hand falling to your shoulder. You look up, and are met with the brightness of salesman Jung.
āAh,ā Hoseok says with a wink, reaching into the cooler. āI love Sprite.ā
āMe too,ā you reply automatically, and then immediately want to smack yourself. Because you donātācarbonated beverages make you break out. But your mouth had formed the lie without your permission.
Embarrassed, you reach into the cooler, grabbing three water bottles. āSee you later,ā you squeak, avoiding eye contact as you make your escape.
Joy and Wendy are already watching you when you return to where they have procured a table, and when you hand them their waters, Joy raises an eyebrow. āI was wondering how long you were going to talk to that IT guy.ā
āYeah, and why did you leave when Hoseok showed up?ā Wendy pouted. ā_____, the universe is only going to give you so many opportunities. If you donāt want the ball, then pass it to me! Goddamn.ā
āIT guy?ā you prompt, hoping to slide past that last remark.
āYeah. His name is Jungkook, I think? Mostly works with the printers, started a couple months ago.ā Joy shrugs, obviously indifferent to the topic. She reaches for the ketchup bottle in the center of the table and squirts some on her hot dog. āThis is the first time Iāve seen him at a barbecue, though. Honestly, Iām surprised he even came out, because the IT dudes generally keep to themselves. They rarely leave their little tower,ā she adds with a dismissive wave.
Wendy scoffs in disinterest. āWho cares about Jeremy! Hurry up and eat, Iām sure Sales is gonna start their soccer game soon.ā
āSoccer game?ā you ask distractedly. A glance back to the coolers shows Jungkook is gone, and you donāt see him in the immediate vicinity.
āThe sales department likes to play soccer during these things,ā Joy reminds you. Her expression brightens. āHey, maybe Hoseok will take his shirt off again! Let us pray.ā
To your coworkersā disappointment, Hoseok did not take his shirt off. But they certainly had a good time watching his athletic display across the grass anyway.
Today, youāre lucky enough to get ahead of the morning rush, but that means that you end up trudging into the building much earlier than you anticipated. You hope the coffeeās insulated cups do their job properly, because you really donāt have the energy to listen to Joy huff and puff about having to reheat hers.
Your trek to your cubicle slows when you realize that someone is already there, sitting in your chair and typing away on your keyboard. Their back is to you, swathed in an olive button-up, and itās not until you get close enough to curiously crane your head to see their face that you recognize him. The guy from the barbecue last weekāthe one by the coolers.
He startles a bit when he sees you approach in his peripheral vision, eyes darting up at you in surprise.
āHi.ā You raise the tray youāre holding in an awkward greeting. āSorry, I didnāt mean to creep up on you.ā
āThatās okay, _____,ā he replies softly, wide eyes blinking a little from behind his round glasses. āI can get kind of spacey when Iām focused on something. I was just doing some updates on your machine and didnāt see you.ā
āYouā¦ā Your head tilts curiously. āYou know my name?āĀ
A small smile touches his lips as he points to your computer. āIām updating your machine,ā he reminds you.
Not to mention the fact that heās literally sitting in your cubicle, your name tag clearly posted on the frosted glass that separates your space from Joyās. An embarrassed chuckle leaves you when you realize your dumbass mistake. āOh. Duh. Wow, that was a stupid question. Let me just get out of your way.ā
āNo, no, Iām clearly the one in the way!ā His head shakes apologetically. āI couldnāt do this update remotely and I thought you didnāt clock in for another half hourāsorry about that.ā
āI donāt,ā you confirm. āBut I tend to get here a little early so I can sort out everyoneās coffee order.ā
A brow raises in surprise. āDo they really have you making coffee runs?ā he asks incredulously.
You hmm in confirmation, moving to set the coffee on everyoneās desks. āRite of passage, I guess,ā you call over the divider as you work. Joyās order today isnāt as over the top as you know she can be, but you were still rather embarrassed to order it (vanilla latte with oatmilkāone and a half pumps cinnamon, one pump hazelnut, an extra espresso shot and extra foam with honey drizzle). The barista had looked at you tiredly but hadnāt voiced her obvious judgement when she rung you up.Ā
āI guess,ā you hear him say, but he doesnāt sound too convinced.Ā
Coffee distributed and hands finally free, you return to lean against your cubicle, hovering as he continues to quickly type and click. You look at him pointedly, a small smile creeping across your face. āSpeaking of grunt work, I hear youāre the printer guy.ā
His lips quirk. āIām also the expert at updating Microsoft Word, just so you know.ā
You laugh, and his eyes crinkle in amused response. āOh, well excuse me, sir.ā
āIāll let it slide this once. Since youāre new.ā
āAnd so are you. Thatās why youāre the printer guy.ā
He just lets out a puff of air that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. This close, you can now see the tiny holes that are trailing up his earlobeāhe clearly has multiple ear piercings, not just the ones you saw at the barbecue. There is no jewelry in them now, though.Ā
āJungkook, right?ā
Itās his turn to look surprised, and you find yourself satisfied by the flush creeping up the back of his neck when he ducks his head in confirmation.Ā
āUs newbies gotta stick together,ā you stage whisper behind a conspiratorial hand before leaning decidedly away. āAnyway, let me stop bothering you and go make some coffee.ā
His eyebrows scrunch in clear confusion. āDidnāt you just bring some?ā
āā¦Yeah, I am only just now recognizing just how bizarre this must seem,ā you say sheepishly. āBut none of those were for meāfancy specialty drinks arenāt really in my budget, so I tend to just brew a cup here.āĀ
āDid you say drinks?ā a voice croaks, and when you turn your head, thereās Joy, walking towards the two of you. If her bodyās sluggish movements werenāt enough to clue you in to the fact that sheās exhausted and possibly hungover, the designer sunglasses sheās wearing to tactfully hide half her face certainly do.
āOn your desk,ā you chirp as she walks past you without another glance. āGood morning!ā
There is no response from the other side of the cubicle wall, and Jungkook frowns a bit, but you just give him a small shrug that translates to what can you do? before pushing off the wall to continue your trek to the kitchen. āYou want one?ā you offer. āI make a mean cafeteria coffee. Trial and error has taught me the exact temperature of tap water to use to make it taste less like sludge.ā
His mouth smoothes back out at your joke, and though you wait for him to call you out on your ridiculous declaration, his gaze is already back on your computer. āNo thank you,ā comes his soft reply.
With a nod to yourself, you move to complete your task and leave Jungkook to work on his. When you return minutes later, newly-filled mug in hand, heās already gone.
Today starts out pretty typically. After bringing everyoneās coffee, you settle into monitoring the companyās social media accounts. (When Joy first delegated this task to you, you were a bit confused, as social media is so vital to brands nowadays that handling it is technically a whole other full-time job. But it turns out you donāt have to do much above the intern level anywayājust answer customer questions and escalate issues if need be.)
Your manager has been out traveling for a week, but today she finally comes back to the office, and it makes for a nice change of pace when she hands you all of her scattered, hurriedly-scribbled notes and asks you to please transcribe them into something more cohesive and legible. Well, not nice, exactly (because at the end of the day, this is still busywork), but if you have to reply to one more Facebook comment with instructions that are clearly already on the product packaging, there is a pretty likely possibility you will scream.Ā
This is at least slightly less mind-numbing. Instead of copy-pasting things from a prewritten script, you get to try to make sense of what your boss had been trying to say when she wrote turkey club in the corner of a page filled with random numbers and dates. Was this important? Was it simply her plans for lunch that day? You and your fancy college degree have the pleasure of trying to figure that out while Joy and Alan, the web manager, get to actually do important things that are in their job descriptions.
Still, like every day, you try to dampen your frustration, try to keep a positive attitude. Because ultimately, this is an opportunity to grow your bossās confidence in you, and thatās exactly what you want. Though youāre a little disheartened by all the busywork, you remind yourself it will all be worth it in the end. Your hope is that if you put in the time, youāll eventually be trusted with more of the nitty gritty stuff.Ā
(You knowā¦the stuff you actually got your degree for.)
But no matter how positive you are, things of course donāt go as smoothly as they should. After youāve done a pretty fantastic job (if you say so yourself) of organizing and typing everything up, you send your manager the digital version. And, because you know the email may accidentally get buried in her inbox, you decide to print a physical copy for good measure.
You give the printer pretty simple, straightforward directions. One copy, double-sided (to do your part to save Mother Earth), the whole document typed in plain old black and white. But when you walk over, thereās nothing waiting for you in the printing tray. No humming to clue you in to the fact that the printer was working on your job. Nope. Instead, the admittedly ancient machine is quiet and still, and it stays that way for long enough for you to walk back to your computer to press the print button again, just in case you forgot to do so the first time. Still no dice. You frown, opening the paper tray to make sure it was full, then opening every other compartment that can possibly be opened to make sure there isnāt a paper jam somewhere.
Nothing.
Irritated, you stalk back to your desk, your first inclination to check with Joy and see if she has been having any of the same issues, but you find her chair empty. Probably got pulled into a meeting that they donāt find it necessary to loop you in on, even though it will ultimately be you who does all the grunt work for any action items the meeting produces.
Positive, you remind yourself, falling back into your chair and drumming your fingertips against your desk in thought. Maybe itās not the printer at all. Maybe itās your computer. You search your desk drawer for the introductory employee contact sheet HR had given you when you first started, and there he isāJeon, Jungkook.
For a second, you consider sending him an email, but the green dot that displays heās online has you shooting him a message instead. Much less formal, but likely quicker for the both of you.
You
Hey Jungkook! Sorry to bother you, but I canāt print for some reason
You
The printer over here is ignoring me, and I donāt think Iām set up to print by the art directors
Despite what you originally assumed, he doesnāt answer immediately, obviously focused on something else. Still, you only have to wait a few minutes before you hear the soft ding you were waiting for.Ā
Jungkook Jeon
Hi, _____. You mean the large printer by the marketing department, correct? Ā
You
Yes! I tried a couple times, but I donāt think the job even went through
You
Thought it best to just ask the printer guy š
Thereās a pause, one long enough that you worry that heās forgotten about your lighthearted exchange from this morning. Shit. That was stupid of you. Youāve probably offended him. Fuck.
But if Jungkook is upset with you, heās professional enough that it doesnāt come across at all in his next message. If anything, he just seems a little preoccupied.Ā
Jungkook Jeon
Hmmm, let me check it out for you. Mabel can be a little uncooperative.
You
Mabel?Ā
Silence again, this time for a good five minutes. You answer some emails so youāre not just sitting there twiddling your thumbs.Ā
Jungkook Jeon
Sorry, was running some diagnostics in the background to see if I could find the problemĀ
Jungkook Jeon
IT kinda calls that printer Mabel because weāre pretty sure sheās worked for the company for longer than all of us combined. Seems fitting
You canāt help but snort at that. Cute, and likely not inaccurate. Mabel, it is.Ā Ā
Jungkook Jeon
One of these days Mabelāll finally retire, but it wonāt be todayālooks like sheās running fine. Do you mind checking for me and seeing if you can access the marketing server?Ā
A few clicks, and when double clicking on the server icon doesnāt bring up the same list of folders it usually does, it confirms the conclusion the both of you have already come toāyour computer is the problem, not Mabel.
You
No dice š
Jungkook Jeon
Got it. I think something went weird with your network connection after I updated your machine this morning. I can fix that for you!
You
Awesome! I appreciate it!
Jungkook Jeon
Of course! Canāt have my sparkling reputation as the Printer Guy tarnished so easily š
You
LOL
You allow him remote access to your computer when a pop-up prompts you to, and he gets you up and running before your managerās meeting is even over.
Lunch has always been an interestingāalbeit potentially exhaustingāpart of your day. You learned early on that attempting to take the break you were legally entitled to at your desk did not stop anyone from continuing to ask you for things. Unfortunately, there werenāt many solutions to this problemāyou didnāt get paid enough to be able to consistently eat your lunches out, and you lived too far away from the office to go home for lunch instead. So, you started taking your lunch break a little earlier than most of your other coworkers did, ensuring that the cafeteria was pretty empty and allowing you the space to decompress and eat your bagged lunch in peace.Ā
And as things usually went with this company, it didnāt take long for that peace to be interrupted. Once she noticed you disappearing from your desk, curiosity had Joy tagging along one day, and after that, it only took a couple weeks before both she and Wendy joined you.Ā
(Later, you would have the great idea to simply enjoy your bagged lunch in the park a few blocks away, but the weather wasnāt always great and at that point, the other two started to expect you to eat with them.)
So thatās exactly how youāre spending your lunch nowāscarfing down the soup you made a few days ago that youāll eat until itās completely gone, while Joy and Wendy giggle and gossip to each other. As much as they apparently want to eat lunch with you, they tend to be pretty nonplussed by how you never contribute much to their inane conversations.Ā
And youāre fine with that. In the time itās taken them to get comfortable invading your zen time, youāve learned how to properly tune their tittering out. Youāre good at nodding at the right times, at throwing in perfectly placed hums that indicate youāre listening, even when youāre not.
Today, itās a sudden, uncharacteristic pause in their chatter that prickles against your diverted attention. Ā āThatās weird,ā you hear Wendy mutter, and that officially throws you out of you mentally making your grocery list. The intrigued way sheās looking behind you makes you reflexively turn, and thatās when your eyes set on Jungkook.
He hadnāt been there when you first sat down for lunch, but he is now, sitting alone a couple tables away. Heās the only other person in the cafeteria, but from the AirPods in his ears and the way his eyes are focused on his phone screen, you doubt heās even noticed this fact. Ā
Joyās lips downturn slightly into a puzzled frown. āHmm. IT guys never come down voluntarily from their tower.āĀ
Your head tilts as you mull over that. That isnāt exactly true. You have only seen Jungkook in passing a few times over the last couple weeks, but those few times prove IT arenāt exactly the antisocial specters the two women in front of you keep painting them as. You have even exchanged the short pleasantries with him that are socially expected when crossing paths at the coffeepot. Ā
āWonder what heās doing here?ā Wendy says, not nearly quietly enough in your opinion. EmbarrassmentĀ flashes hot through you, inwardly chastising yourself for continuing to associate with such casually judgmental people. Youāre already mentally preparing to apologize for your lunch mates when a covert glance out of the corner of your eye shows that Jungkookās still paying your group no attention, taking distracted bites from his sandwich as his head bobs slightly to whatever is playing through his headphones.
āWhatever,ā Joy says with a dismissive shrug, and then just that easily, the two are back gossiping about Cindy in HR.
From then on, you notice that Jungkook continues to eat lunch in the cafeteria at the same time as you. Sometimes, he beats you there, already at his designated table and munching on whatever he brought that day. If your eyes meet, heāll send you a small smile in greeting before immediately dropping his focus back to his phone. If youāre there first and throw him a wave of acknowledgment, he always returns it, as is polite and expected of two coworkers who donāt know each other beyond their forced proximity.
And you think nothing of it, too busy being your departmentās errand girl, the person who gets assigned all the tasks no one else wants to do. The amount of interaction you and Jungkook have is only marginally higher than what you have with Namjoon in Finance, who periodically reaches out to you for any missing receipts for charges on the Marketing departmentās credit card.
This slowly starts changing as you begin to have more and more technical problems. You being assigned to put together multiple PowerPoints and research whatever market trends tickles your bossās fancy means you constantly have an ungodly amount of tabs and applications open. This means youāre not really surprised when your computerāan older model that is definitely on its last legāstarts freezing and giving you pop up errors. A force restart seems to fix the problem, but a new one emergesānow, no matter how many times you hit the print button and walk over to your designated printer, nothing awaits for you to pick up. Even scrolling through the printerās print history shows no record of your jobs being in the queue. Itās bizarreāyou even make sure to confirm youāre connected to the servers, and that doesnāt seem to be the issue this time.
Frowning, you make your way back to your desk and scroll down your chat messages until a familiar face appears.
YouĀ
Hey Jungkook! I canāt seem to printāthink something weird is going on with my computer today
A soft sigh of frustration escapes your lips, fingers drumming irritably against your desk. It isnāt even noon, but the day is already looking to be a long one.
Resigned, you settle in to wait for him to answer you in the chat, but the little bubbles that indicate heās typing never pop up. Instead, youāre surprised when movement in your peripheral produces Jungkook himself, slowing in approach of your desk, though his focus is still on his phone screen. He must have gotten your message in the midst of doing something else.Ā
āOh! Hi,ā you greet him eagerly. āJust the person I was looking to see.ā
He looks up at you from beneath the curtain of his bangs, a small smile touching his lips as he stuffs his phone back into the pocket of his slacks. āJust the person I was looking for,ā he returns. āWhat seems to be the problem?āĀ
āMabel is being a bitch again,ā you say with an irritated sigh. āEvery time I try to print, nothing is happening.āĀ
Jungkook snorts, amused, and itās only then that your brain registers exactly what you just said. Swearing at work is unprofessional so you make it a point not do it, but that one slipped out so casually. āOhāsorry.ā
But if Jungkook is offended, it certainly doesnāt show in the responding chuckle he lets out. āThatās definitely on brand. I can fix thatālet me take a look.ā
You move to relinquish your seat, but heās already leaning over you before you can do more than shift your weight. So you just let go of your mouse so he can control it instead, scooting to the side a bit and trying your best not to think too hard about how heās close enough for your clothes to brush. Christ does he smell good.
Jungkook clicks around a bit, no doubt checking to make sure your computer is up to date and connected to everything itās supposed to. āIs this what youāve been trying to print?ā he finally asks, brows furrowed in concentration.
You blink at the question, realizing with dawning horror that you were accidentally distracted by his proximity. You clear your throat, shaking your head a little at yourself in an attempt to clear it of all thoughts that arenāt solidly on the task at hand. āYeah.āĀ
He clicks the print button, just as you have done for the past ten minutes, then straightens with a shrug. āLetās give our old girl a visit and see what her deal is.ā
You stand, following him around the corner to the copy room, where Mabel has proudly taken residence for who knows how many years. The fact that you can already see sheās humming with activity as the two of you approach has your eyebrows knitting in confusion.
Jungkook seems equally confused, reaching in the tray for the stack of paper that was just spit out and turning it over to confirm both of your suspicions. The report youāve been trying to print for the last twenty minutes sits in his hand, likely still warm from how quickly and easily Mabel completed Jungkookās request. He holds it up for you to see, his big doe eyes peering at you quizzically through his glasses. āThis printer was the one that wouldnāt work for you?ā he asks.
āYeah, I definitely sent it to this one. Repeatedly,ā you insist. Embarrassment prickles across your skin. āI swear it wasnāt working two seconds ago!ā
Jungkook smiles when he hands you the papers, and it somehow softens his naturally cherubic face even more. āYou just wanted to say hi to me, huh?āĀ
āClearly Mabel likes you more than me,ā you sniff at his teasing. āSorry for wasting your time.ā
āYou didnāt,ā he says simply. He hovers for a few more moments as you check to make sure all the pages are there. āLet me know if you have any more issues, okay?ā
āWill do,ā you agree, mind already back on your work as you both turn to part ways. āThank you so much for your help!ā
āAnytime.ā
āDidnāt you have a date last night?ā Joy asks.Ā
Itās lunchtime again, early enough that the three of you are still the only ones in the cafeteria. While both Joy and Wendy are munching on some overpriced salads they had delivered from a restaurant a couple blocks away, youāre eating a boring ham and cheese sandwich that you haphazardly slapped together in your rush to get out the door this morning. Vaguely, you do remember Wendy mentioning something about an upcoming hot date, but she was always rambling about a hot date, and frankly, you donāt care enough to keep up with any details. Everything you know about her love lifeāand her, in all honestyāhas been dumped onto you without you having any say in the matter.Ā
āI did,ā Wendy squeals, excited as always to have the opportunity to talk about herself. āHis name was Miles. Weāve been talking on Tinder for the past weekāhe was really sweet and seemed to want to get to know me. Last night he took me to a nice restaurant, really wined and dined me.ā
āWow,ā Joy says, eyebrows raised. āThat sounds promising. When are you gonna see him again?ā
āIām not,ā Wendy scoffed. āHe was nice and all, but heās only 5ā7. Itāll never work out.ā
āTrue.ā
Youāve been trying your hardest to zone them out, but the longer Wendy prattles on, each sentence more baffling than the last, you canāt help but interject, āDoesnāt the app let you filter out height preferences?ā
Wendy pauses, a raise of an eyebrow betraying her surprise at you finally participating in her lunchtime shenanigans. āNot on the free version.ā
āSo why did you even entertain him if you knew you would never consider him seriously?āĀ
ā..because I wanted to go to dinner?ā Wendy replies flatly, the look on her face doing nothing to hide how stupid she thinks your question is. āBesides, he got what he wanted out of the deal. After dinner I took him home and let him fuck.āĀ
The flippantly casual way she throws out the vulgar word feels like a record scratch, especially since the three of you are, in fact, still very much on company premises. Wendy doesnāt seem to notice just how much sheās scandalized you, continuing to prattle on at full volume about how the sex was pretty good for a Tinder date, even though he refused to eat her out.Ā
At this point, youāve long slowed in your chewing, now entirely too incredulous by the absurdity of the situation youāve found yourself in to eat.Ā
āYou didnāt suck him, did you?ā Joy asks.
Wendy scoffs. āOf course not! Iām not giving head to some random anyway, especially if heās not gonna give me mine first.ā
āCan we not talk about this?ā you mumble.
They both turn to stare at you, judgement plain on their faces. Wendy snorts. āWow, _____. I never took you to be a prude.ā
āI did,ā Joy slides in under her breath.
You let out an agitated huff. This is ridiculous. āIām not a prude.ā
The two of them share a look. After a pause, Wendy finally asks in a way that indicates that it doesnāt really matter what you say because her mind is already made up, āThen whatās the problem?ā Ā
Aside from this conversation being a massive HR violation?
Wendy continues smugly, as if sheās figured you out, āTalking about oral hit a nerveā¦interesting.ā
Yes, Wendy! you think sarcastically, fighting the intense urge to roll your eyes. The whole rest of the convo was good and dandyāoral was definitely the line, though!Ā
Joy just looks at you, her eyes narrowing the longer she does. Her scrutiny makes your skin prickle in irritation. āYou have gotten head before, right?ā
āOkay!ā you say sharply, stuffing the uneaten half of your sandwich back into the bag. āOne, thatās neither of your business, and two, this conversation is completely inappropriate. Letās change the subject, please.āĀ
Itās quiet for a moment, both of them visibly surprised by your response. Joy actually looks a tiny bit proud that you stood up for yourself, but Wendy just sniffs and mutters, āThat obviously means no.ā Ultimately, they both back off, choosing instead to chatter about the newest design of Joyās nails.
You exhale a tiny sigh of relief. Wendy was hitting the nail too close to the head and you truly didnāt feel like explaining your life story to a nosy coworker who was nothing more than your acquaintance, at best. Now that theyāve finally let you out of the hot seat, youāre fully planning to spend the rest of your lunch hour zoning out in relative peace.Ā
But before you can properly dissociate, you hear someone cough behind you.Ā
Your blood runs cold. You already know who it isāno one else tends to eat lunch this early.
āHow long has he been sitting there?ā you whisper, already dreading the answer.
Joy waves an unbothered hand. āI donāt know, like five minutes?ā
Five minutes. Long enough to have heardā¦Ā
Youāre immediately mortified, and it must show on your face, because Wendy just snorts and says way too loudly for your comfort, āOh, relax, this is probably the most action heās gotten in months. Iām doing him a favor.ā
What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. āAre you serious right now?ā
āCalm down,ā Joy says, rolling her eyes. āLook, heās not even listening to us.ā
And a slow, discrete turn of your head confirms what she saysāJungkook, in an ugly salmon button-up today, has his earbuds in, eyes downcast to his phone screen, lips soundlessly forming the words to whatever song heās listening to. You feel a tiny bit of relief, but embarrassment still roils deep in your belly, suddenly making your half-eaten sandwich completely unappetizing.
You stand, grabbing the brown paper bag that contains the remnants of your lunch and hoping against hope that youāll be able to bolt without him noticing.
āOh come on, donāt be like that,ā Wendy sighs, annoyance bleeding into her tone. āI told you I didnāt realize you were a prude. We can talk about something else.ā
You bristle, but tamp down the urge to defend yourself and point out again that you arenāt a prude, you just donāt want to be the office harlot either. āItās not that,ā you lie. The judgmental look in Joyās eye only softens when you say, āI just remembered I forgot to print the printouts for the meeting this afternoon. Iāll see you guys later?ā
āSure,ā Joy says dismissively, and Wendy says nothing at all. Theyāve already moved on, no longer interested in your swift escape, attention eagerly back on the details of Wendyās weekend. Thatās works perfectly fine for youāyouāve had enough of being the center of attention for the day.
Blessedly, Jungkook doesnāt even look up when slink past him and out the door.
Itās hot.
Third quarter is well underway, which means that itās time again for the quarterly company barbecue. That also means itās hot as balls.Ā
You suffer quietly, trying not to add to the stank atmosphere Joy and Wendy are already creating due to the heat. Itās an ambitious goal, especially since youāre already sweltering beneath your blouseāwhich was reasonable to wear within the chilled walls of the office, but feels rather ridiculous now, under the relentless beat of the sun. Despite being grateful for the free food and break from your maddeningly boring work, you canāt help but mentally yearn for the indoors, where thereās proper shade and air conditioning and decidedly less bitching.Ā
āI donāt know why they donāt just cater something for us to eat inside,ā Joy mopes, dabbing at her brow with what you already know from experience to be a cheap, scratchy napkin. āHow is anyone supposed to enjoy themselves if weāre melting?ā
āItās probably a ploy,ā Wendy quips. āThe more uncomfortable we are, the more likely we are to get back to work.ā
āThe dateās been on the calendar for months,ā you point out wearily. āThey had no way of knowing thereād be a heat wave today. Besides, the companyās already paid for the food. I doubt they intended to purposely waste that money.ā
Joy scoffs in retort. āThe company also knows throwing an outdoor event in July is the same as throwing one in Satanās asshole.ā
Wendy sniggers, but you donāt answer, biting back your response that outdoor barbecues are common during summer, and at least they donāt have you out here in the snow. Because honestly? This is only your second quarter with the company, and who knows what the fourth quarter barbecue looks like.Ā
All you can do is free some of the buttons on your blouse, undoing as many as you can while still being office-appropriate. As it is, you now have a little cleavage peeking out, but with how hot it is, you figure no one will say anything.
āLook,ā Wendy says with an unsubtle tip of her head. āLooks like the soccer game is still on, at least.ā
Fluttering the hem of your blouse in an attempt to get some circulation, you reflexively respond to her prompting, eyes following her line of sight. A few tables down, the Sales team has finished their meal and appears to be actively gauging coworker interest in joining their game. From the decently-sized group thatās starting to form by the open field, you think theyāre pretty successful, despite the heat.Ā
Joy groans, lifting her long hair with a hand in an effort to cool off the back of her neck. āI donāt know how theyāre doing all that when it feels too hot to breathe.ā
Inwardly, you agree with her, but Wendy just gives a lazy shrug and says, āHey, if weāre gonna roast to death, at least weāll be properly entertained.ā
āTrue,ā Joy muses. āAnd theyāre gonna be sweatier than usual.ā
Wendyās eyes glaze over a bit at the thought. You grimace, amazed that these two always seem to have their heads in the gutter. Thatās my cue. āIāll be right back,ā you say, brushing off the back of your slacks as you stand, but they pay you no mind when you walk away.
Youāve already finished your meal, but it canāt hurt to take another look at the coolers. Itās so hot that youāve already downed your first beverage, so a new one is in order. When you arrive to the area, two people from Customer Service pass, nodding at you in acknowledgment as they make their way back to their table. Youāve only just started to reach for a cooler lid when you hear someone address you again.Ā
āHey,ā a familiar voice says timidly behind you. āHowās it going?ā
You reflexively turn your head, simultaneously surprised and not at all to find Jungkook standing there. Heās got on a long-sleeved button-up despite the heatāgrey, checkered with a red and navy plaidāand you canāt help but wonder how heās not sweltering. Though, the noticeable sheen on his face and the way his damp bangs are starting clump together tells you he just might be.Ā
āIāve had better days,ā you answer honestly, swiping the back of your hand across your forehead. Before you can catch yourself, that same hand is vaguely gesturing at him, head to toe. āHow are you not melting?ā
His lips twitch, amused. āI definitely am,ā he admits. āI actually hoped no one was over here so I could stuff some of the ice from these coolers down my shirt without being judged.ā
You snort. āHey, whoās judging? Certainly not me. Knock yourself out; just make sure you leave me some.āĀ
He taps his chin, jokingly in thought, but to be honest, he does mildly look as if heās actually considering it. āWell, we wouldnāt want the beverages to get coldā¦ā
āEh, thereās probably not that many in here anyway. They could probably consolidate coolers.ā To prove your point, you bend over, cracking open one of the red ones next to you and peering inside. The expected assortment of generic sodas greets you, looking admittedly very refreshing floating in their ice bath. āSee, this one isnāt even full.ā
You angle your torso a bit so you can meet his eye properly over your shoulder, but as soon as you look up at him, his gaze hurriedly skirts away, color crawling up the back of his neck. You stand with a frown, confused by this, but ultimately brush off his weird behavior when you notice Namjoon from Accounting sidling up to the two of you.Ā
"Hey guys,"Ā he greets you, a friendly smile dimpling his cheeks. "We're getting some people together for a soccer game. I know it's really hot, but would either of you want to join?"
Youāve often seen Namjoon chatting with Hoseok in passing, and twice have even seen them leave the building for lunch together, so it doesnāt surprise you that the accountant is helping recruit for the Sales team's traditional barbecue pastime. What does surprise you, however, is that when he casually claps a hand on Jungkookās shoulder, the younger man first responds by blinking owlishly at him behind his glasses, and then, a few seconds later, giving him a nod of assent.Ā
Obviously you don't know Jungkook very wellānot at all, really, outside of your ongoing feud with Mabel. But you didn't take him to be the type to be into playing outdoor sports, particularly in this weather, and you certainly didn't expect him to agree so easily. A smile from Namjoon and suddenly all thoughts of stealing cooler ice are gone.Ā
Namjoon turns back to you, but you're already shaking your head. "Nope, no thank you! Y'all have fun. I'll just supervise from over there in the shade."
"Fair enough," he chuckles, and then he's leading Jungkook across the open field to meet up with the others.
Mildly more interested in the game now, you take this as your cue to grab the beverage you came forāa can of a Lipton knockoff and a bottle of water for good measureāand return to your table.
Joy and Wendy are still yapping when you approach, though in your absence, Joy has apparently decided to move to Wendyās side of the table. It only takes you following their line of sight to quickly recognize whyāthat side of the table has an unobstructed view of the upcoming soccer game. Well, unobstructed, so long as you change your seat too. Awkward about intentionally getting in the way, you pause for only a moment before ultimately reaching for the end seat perpendicular to them instead.Ā
When you lean over a little to pull your chair out from under the table, Joy finally deigns to acknowledge you, ticking an eyebrow. āI can see down your shirt,ā she tells you offhandedly.Ā
Your head snaps down, and you realize sheās rightāundoing those few extra buttons has made the billowy fabric more susceptible to gravity, particularly when you leaned over. You yourself could see your whole chest and the basic bra that supported it, and at this angle, you doubt your blouse covered much of that from Joyās gaze. A hand immediately snaps up to press the material back in place, but before you can even get properly embarrassed, her attention is ripped from you, eyes wide at something behind you.
āHolyāā
Wendy's jaw drops. Your head reflexively turns in the direction they're gawking at.
And before you can stop it, your jaw drops too.
Your tablemates have been known to be dramatic, and are certainly the type to stretch a fact or two. But itās only now that you fully understand their fixation on these Sales soccer games, because yes, sometimes they do indeed take their shirts off. Like now.
Other than one girl from Compliance, all of the gameās recruits appear to be men, and as such, the group has chosen to distinguish teams by shirts vs. skins. And while the sudden appearance of skin naturally draws most peopleās attention, your attention only gravitates towards one person. Cause what the fuck.
You almost don't recognize him, your brain rapidly shuffling through the information it's collected about him over the past few months and struggling to reconcile with what your eyes are actually seeing. Because the Jungkook you know wears glasses and long sleeves and has an unassuming hairstyle that looks suspiciously like a bowl may have been involved at some point.Ā
But the person you're looking at now? Glasses have been discarded, apparently no longer needing optical assistance, and heās ditched the button-up, sweat making the white sleeveless tank he has on underneath spottily transparent and divulging the dusk of his nipples. Now that you can properly see the taper of his slim waist, his shoulders are proportionally more broad than you realized. And, since he clearly has no regard for your rapidly rising blood pressure, Jungkook decides now is the perfect time to reach over said shoulders, grab fistfuls of damp fabric, and pull. The sight of him slipping the shirt over his headāthe ink of his hair sinfully mussed, the muscles of his back rippling with the movementāhas you reflexively swallowing, mouth dry.
He's absolutely ripped.Ā
There's no other way to say it. A superior specimen, built and honed in a way that's only possible through years of hard work and discipline. He's still lean enough that you can rationalize how youāve never picked up on that amount of muscle hiding beneath his unassuming dress shirts, but you're still gobsmacked.Ā
Your mind spins, struggling to come to terms with the near impossible fact Jungkook actually pulled a Clark Kent on you. Well, pulled a Clark Kent if Clark Kent was also covered in gorgeous ink, pigment swirling up his right arm from wrist to shoulder. From this distance you canāt see the exact designs that make up his intricate sleeve, but you can tell it was composed with a purposeful eye.Ā
Jungkook is absolutely ripped and tattooed. Jungkook. Printer guy Jungkook.
Flustered and trying not to be, you quickly look away, clanking your jaw shut and trying to focus on the plastic tabletop instead. Dear god, this is embarrassing. You really just gawked at your coworker! He was minding his own business and your jaw just reflexively unhinged like a degenerate. God, you hoped he didn't see that.
But any mortification you have is apparently not shared by the other two at your table.
āIs that Justin?!ā Wendy demands rather shrilly, eyes wide, and the volume of her question would embarrass you even more if your brain could process any other reaction right now other than straight static. āJustin from IT?!ā
You swallow thickly, your responding correction weak and delayed. āJungkook.āĀ
āFinally,ā Joy groans, pushing her plate away dramatically. āSome good fucking food!āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
You canāt help it thenāyour eyes drift back up, lured to the soccer players once more and zeroing in on him immediately. Seemingly unable to stray from his form, the heat already producing a sheen over his golden skin even though the game hasnāt started yet.
Surrounded by a few surprised male coworkers, Jungkookās slightly hunched into himself, shy at the sudden attention. Even with the distance, you can see how Hoseok claps Jungkook on the back, just as animated over his newly revealed physique as the members of your table. But while everyone else is excited by this revelationā¦
Across the field, Jungkook innocuously turns his head in your direction. Like magnets, his eyes hone in on yours, your gaze locked for a few seconds until another loud What the fuck?! from Wendy frees you from the spell and you hurriedly look away again, a completely different kind of heat washing over you.
Jesus, you need to get ahold of yourself. Thereās no way he was actually looking at youāitās too sunny, and heās not even wearing his glasses! He probably canāt even see that far.
But when you brave another peek in that direction and realize you can literally count his abs from hereā
What the fuck, indeed.
Mutely, you watch the game unfold, not as self-conscious when it becomes clear that the whole office is doing the same. Though Joy and Wendy have been very salacious in their excitement for it, the soccer game is evidently a company barbecue highlight for others as well. And youāre sure Jungkook joining the fray has only added to the interest, as heās a completely new addition to the equation.
And to your continued astonishment, Jungkook is good. Heās fast and lithe and brazen. He proves to you, again and again, that he can kick the ball with such ferocious accuracy that the other teamās goalie eventually stops trying to get in his way and simply resorts to trying to protect their vulnerable body parts instead. His intensity only entices reciprocal energy from everyone else, and what has traditionally been a lighthearted game between coworkers has now transformed into a group of competitive men who feel they now have something to prove.Ā
Joy and Wendy are delighted by this development, squealing and cheering and tittering amongst themselves. You sit quietly, still trying to mentally process this new development, but when you start to feel embarrassed by just how much youāre staring, you decide to call it a day. No one really notices when you stand and gather your trash, and luckily the distraction of the game means youāre able to slip out without any fanfare.
This quarterās barbecue being on a Friday means youāre blessed with a weekend to decompress and regroup. Unfortunately for you, the office doesnāt justā¦move on from the event like it has in the past. Instead, this particular barbecue was apparently such a success that you continue to hear chatter about it for the next week, mostly in passing. But while everyone else makes small talk about how much fun they had, Joy and Wendy choose to hone in on the only thing they truly consider worthy of discussionāJungkook.Ā
Today, just as they have every day for the past few months, they join your table when you take your early lunch. However, to their increasing irritation, the object of their current fixation isnāt here. In fact, Jungkook hasnāt showed up to the cafeteria during your lunch time since before the barbecue, and you inwardly have to admit itās a little strange without him. You sat at different tables and the two of you never really said much to each other beyond the expected niceties, but youāve gotten used to his presence all the same.Ā
You actually have barely seen him at all, with Mabel on her best behavior this week and Jungkook seemingly busy with something that has kept him mostly out of common areas. Still, with your embarrassingly strong reaction to him at the barbecue, itās probably for the best. Youāre a little wary of what your first proper interaction is going to be like, and youāve been mentally preparing yourself to be as normal as possible.Ā
Your female lunchmates donāt seem to have that same mindset.
āDoes he just not eat anymore?ā Joy huffs. āI literally havenāt seen him all week!ā
Wendy picks at her salad, lips twisted in a displeased grimace. āI actually saw him yesterday.ā
Joyās head snaps to her. āWhat?! You didnāt tell me that. What happened?ā
āSince casually running into him doesnāt seem to be working, I figured Iād try getting him to come to me. So I unplugged my keyboard and messaged him, but he didnāt show up for like 40 minutes,ā Wendy sighs irritably. āAnd when he did, he looked at me like I was a moron.ā
Your lips twitch in amusement before you can stop them. Joy immediately says exactly what youāre thinking. āWell, you are a moron. You sat there for 40 minutes with your keyboard unplugged!ā
Wendy soldiers on like she didn't hear her, undeterred from her gossiping. āSo he came over in his ugly button-up and judged me! Plugged the keyboard back in and walked away without even saying anything.ā
Despite not properly running into him all week, you actually did see Jungkookās shirt in passing yesterday as he was turning down a hallway at the far end of the office. Wendyās rightāit had been an ugly puce. You found it endearing.
āHe didnāt even roll up his sleeves,ā Wendy mourned. āThe least Jamal could have done was give me that.ā
You pause in the chewing of the tuna sandwich you brought from home, exasperated. āJamal,ā you repeat flatly. āReally?ā
Wendy waves her hand at you dismissively. āYou know who I mean!ā
āI mean, heāll probably be more willing to talk to you if you treat him like an actual person.ā Your quip is reflexive and indignant, and it kind of throws all three of you off guard. Joy raises an eyebrow at you and your sudden vexation, but you still add, though more subdued, āYou know. Making an effort to remember his name is a good start.ā
āDamn, who pissed in your Cheerios?ā Wendy sniffs, though she doesnāt seem very offended by your callout. Over the months youāve superficially gotten to know her, youāve come to notice that she doesnāt really take much seriouslyāa simultaneously admirable and frustrating trait. āIf you wanted dibs, you could have just said that.ā
You feel heat flush up your neck, denial attempting to sputter from your lips, but true to form, Wendy has already moved on, tittering about how itās about time the office had some proper excitement that wasnāt just meetings and spreadsheets.
āAnd speaking of meetings,ā Joy pipes up, passing you a nonchalant look, ādonāt forget to order those sandwiches for the client meeting tomorrow.ā
āSandwiches?ā Your mind blanks. You knew your boss was hosting some clients in the officeāhad even been working on a lot of grunt work to prepare for itābut no one had mentioned anything to you about any sandwiches. āI thought she was wining and dining them?ā
Joy let out a mildly irritated huff. āNo, they have to catch an early flight home, so the plan has changed to a working lunch. Werenāt you listening in Mondayās meeting?ā
No, you hadnāt been listening, because you werenāt invited to the Mondayās meeting. So it looks like a plan had been made and tasks assigned to youā¦without anyone bothering to communicate that. Typical.
You close your eyes for a second, jaw working as you attempt to tamp down your ever-brewing frustration. If they intend on you ordering from the usual place, it may be too late to cater for delivery, which means youāll probably be stuck figuring out how to transport multiple giant platters from a restaurant five blocks away.Ā
āDo you mind forwarding me the request you sent? I must have missed it,ā you respond neutrally, knowing full well the original email had never been sent to you. You stand to leave, the rest of your lunch break instantly soured by the revelation that you apparently have time-sensitive action items that are encroaching dangerous territory. āJust want to make sure I get the order correct.ā
Joy nods, attention already back on Wendy and only half-listening. In the meantime, youāll have to research alternatives, just in case.
While youāre lucky enough to find an acceptable last-minute catering option that will also, blessedly, deliver, that doesnāt mean youāre free to take a breather.Ā
Itās now the end of the day, and one by one, you see everyone around you log out and head for the elevator. Even Joy, who leaves right on time, despite knowing just how many tasks your small team still needs to complete for the big meeting tomorrow. Whatās left is mostly grunt work, and while you are undoubtedly a grunt, itās been clear for a while now that Joy no longer sees herself to be included in that category. So even though having more hands on deck would speed things along considerably, she still gathers her purse and gives you a cheeky finger wave on her way out.
At some point, the cleaning lady makes her rounds, scooting past you with a murmured apology to empty your trash can, but eventually even she disappears. Hell, even the sun abandons you, the soft glow fading from all the windows and stranding you with the cold fluorescent lighting that only remains on in your part of the office, because the lights have motion detectors.Ā
And so itās just you, kneeling on the carpet and surrounded by a gazillion binders. Ensuring relevant reports and Powerpoint presentations are accurate and sending digital copies to your boss for her to have on-hand. Attempting to print physical copies and assemble them into binder portfolios your clients will be able to follow along with during the meeting.Ā
Attempting, because Mabel is, of course, choosing now to live up to her bitchy reputation. She wonāt print on the right-sized paper. She wonāt collate. She wonāt be cooperative at all, and youāre too exhausted for this shit. Physically and mentally exhausted, trying your hardest to rein in the frustration thatās slowly expanding in your chest, crawling up your throat and triggering a familiar burning behind your eyes. Itās not fair.Ā
An exasperated noise escapes you without thinking, a loud, guttural thing. None of this is fair.
ā_____?ā
Your head snaps over your shoulder in surprise, not at all expecting anyone else to still be in the building. Itās Jungkook, because of course it is. Brows knitted in confusion, a black leather jacket thrown over his marigold button-up for some reason. Heās standing near the doors that exit into the lobby, evidently about to begin his trek home before you unwittingly paused his endeavor.
āWhat are you still doing here?ā he asks, but before you can even deign to answer, heās already taken a few steps towards you and followed up with a clearly concerned, āAre you okay?ā
You take a breath, struggling to calm the storm within you. None of this is his fault, nor his problem, and you should just force a smile on your face so he can be on his way and leave you to your self-pity. But youāre tired, so tired, and simply donāt have the capacity to pretend anymore. You swallow around the lump in your throat, and when you do speak, the thickness of your voice betrays the tears that youāre fighting to keep at bay. āNo.ā
This only seems to alarm him more. Heās standing next to you now, as close as he can get with the array of binders and papers you have scattered on the floor around you like a fortress not meant to keep anyone out, but rather, to keep you inside.
āWhatās the matter?ā he asks gently.
āOh, nothing,ā you snort derisively, blinking rapidly at the ceiling in an effort to try to stop the inevitable. āNothing. Itās just well past 7pm and Iām still here in this godforsaken building attempting to print out and hole punch and assemble twenty copies of this presentation. I canāt even get the printer to do what Iām asking it to! And thereās no fucking reason I should still be here because this all could have been done last week if my boss didnāt keep making nonsensical changes based solely on vibes. And tell me why there are six people on my team but no one thought to help me or take any sort of ownership of this at allāas per usualāor even buy me a fucking coffee for once! I havenāt eaten a proper meal all day but everybody just assumes they can go home because things will magically get done like they always do because they will! I will always make sure that they will! Every day it becomes increasingly clear that nobody in this fucking company gives a flying FUCK about me or my free time or my sanityāā
If heās put off by your potty mouth, Jungkook certainly doesnāt show it. He just manages to catch your gaze from behind his glasses and simply replies, āI do.āĀ
Your never-ending rant rapidly dissipates on your tongue, brain struggling to comprehend what he just said. āā¦What?ā
āI care,ā he repeats softly. āHow can I help?ā
The sincerity in his tone renders you mute, too stunned to do anything more than watch as Jungkook drops the backpack heās had slung over a shoulder onto the floor, tossing his newly removed jacket on top of it without much thought. Heās unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves, the reemergence of an ink-covered forearm making your brain stutter even more. Now that thereās much less distance between you, you can more accurately make out the shape of a delicate tiger lily, the languid form of a snake.
Jungkook clears his throat, the noise snapping you out of your stupor and making you realize you were just staring at him in silence, for who knows how long. Dammit. āWhat do you need?ā he tries again.Ā
āUm, first we can start with Mabel,ā you croak, mouth now embarrassingly dry. āNo matter what I do, she refuses to collate.ā
Jungkook shoots you a smile that softens his whole face. āLucky for you, Iām the printer expert, remember? Donāt worry. Weāll get this fixed and be out of here in no time.ā
He holds out a hand and you reflexively grab it, allowing him to guide you to your feet. Together, you make your way to the copy room, where Mabel has stubbornly been giving you hell all night. Jungkook gets right to work pushing buttons while you stand to the side, awkwardly shifting your weight a little from foot to foot.
āSo why are you still here?ā you ask, curiosity finally forcing you to voice the question thatās been looping in your mind since he first appeared. āItās late.ā
āIt is,ā he agrees, focus still on the printer. He kneels down, opening the paper tray. āThereās this huge system update thatās set to roll out next week. My whole team has been hunkering down and pulling late nights.ā
Oh. That explains why you havenāt seen him around much since the barbecue. āThatās tough.ā
āWeāre finally almost done,ā he shrugs. āAnd Iām clearly not the only one working overtime.ā
You donāt say anything when he looks up at you pointedly, so he turns back to the printer, pulling a stack of paper out of one of the trays.
āI think this may be part of the problem. Someone put the wrong-sized paper in here. Or, at least, Mabel thinks itās wrong. Sheās confused.ā
āWell, she can join the club,ā you mutter, and he puffs out a laugh, shutting the drawer and pressing some more buttons.
āCome on, letās try again.ā
Something touches your elbow, and though it shocks through you like he electrocuted you, you have the good sense suppress any embarrassing reaction to what you quickly realize is just his hand. Instead, you let him guide you back to your desk, trying not to focus too intently on the heat of his skin on yours.Ā
Jungkook waits for you to login to your computer, clicking around and changing some settings once you step back and allow him free rein. Then, you can hear a distant hum coming from the copier room, and you know immediately that heās succeeded. Dutifully, he goes to check anyway, returning to you with a stack of perfectly collated paper.
āThank god,ā you groan. āNow let me just print fifty more of those so I can start organizing these binders.ā
With the crisis averted and his job done, you fully expect him to gather his pile of stuff and hustle to the elevator before you can trap him into doing anything else. Instead, Jungkook goes to pick up the additional copies from the printer for you, and he actually gets down on the floor next to you to start putting everything together. He watches you assemble one binder for reference, but then heās easily doing the same and doubling your completion speed.Ā
And slowly, gradually, your nervous system calms. The two of you work like a well-oiled machine in what would be comfortable silence, if your brain wasnāt so loud. Now that youāre not actively panicking, a completely different feeling starts to seep into youāembarrassment.Ā You canāt believe that Jungkook actually caught you on the cusp of a breakdown, during which you looked so pitiful, he felt morally obligated to stop what he was doing and help you.
āIām sure you have somewhere to be,ā you say after a while with a grimace. Heās way too nice and youāre way too pathetic. āI didnāt mean to ruin your nightāI promise you donāt have to stay with me. Now that everythingās printed and organized, most of the workās done. I should be out of here in no time.ā
āWell, I promise you didnāt ruin anything. And with two of us, you can be out of here in less time than that.ā He looks up with a soft smile from where heās hole punching a stack of paper, the muffled ka-chunk of the device punctuating his point. āI donāt mind, _____. Really.ā
āBut I do,ā you murmur, looking away. Unable to meet his eyes. āI really appreciate your help, but I feel bad taking up so much of your time.ā
āWell, donāt. I didnāt really have plans tonight anyway, and Iāve been working so much that itās probably better that I get in some socializing time.ā
āNot that Iām very good company,ā you snort derisively.
Thereās a pause, one long enough that you wonder if he heard you. But then heās moving a little closer to you, tipping slightly sideways to tap his shoulder against yours. Reflexively, you turn back to him, finding his eyes kind. Ā
āWe all have our off days, and thatās okay. But theyāll dull your shine if you let them. Donāt.ā He bumps your shoulder again. āBesides, you and I have to stick together, remember? Or did you not really mean it when you told me that?ā
You did tell him that, didnāt you? Months and months ago. You're surprised that he even remembers that.
There's an amused quirk to his lip, one that you can't help but feel yourself soften to, even as his focus turns back to the task at hand. And all at once, you feel yourself flooded with gratitude. You've been thankful for his help this whole time, of course, but now you almost sag with it, the relief at knowing someone is finally in your corner, the sudden sense of security and support visceral and a little overwhelming.
Before you fully realize what you're doing, it's you who leans closer, aiming to give a him a grateful kiss on the cheek. But your lips don't quite land on their intended target, because just before you succeed, Jungkook unconsciously senses your increasing proximity and reflexively turns his head back to you.
It's his lips yours coincidentally brush against, the accidental kiss timid due to his surprise and your chaste intentions. But the kiss is also soft, his lips plush and rather easily yielding to yours.Ā
Quickly realizing your mistake, you pull back, eyes as big as saucers. You stare at him in stunned silence and he stares back, eyes all pupil.
A horrified apology is immediately crowding the back of your throat, but right before you set it free, Jungkook's Adam's apple bobs, an errant tongue absently swiping across his lips.Ā
Huh. This isnāt exactly the reaction of someone repulsed by an unwanted kiss. He still hasn't said anything, but he hasn't moved away from you either. He's just watching you. Waiting.Ā
...Waiting?
With caution but with clear intent, you lean back in, and to your surprise, he meets you halfway, noses bumping a little before he tilts his head and your lips slot perfectly together.Ā
This kiss is immediately different from the last. Jungkook mindlessly drops he binder he's holding, body angling more solidly towards you so he can properly meet the rapidly rising intensity. Well, meet may be the wrong word, because he's the one whose hand quickly reaches up to cradle your chin, gentle pressure a silent requestĀ for you to tilt your head a bit more. And when you comply with the change in angle, it's him who deepens the kiss, the slow lave of his tongue coaxing your lips to part, open and wet.
You pant hot into his mouth and he breathes you in, offering no resistance when you push even closer, hands wandering across his shoulders, fingers ghosting up the back of his neck before drifting to idly toy with the hair at his nape. He hums contentedly, not unlike a purring cat, and does it again when your tongue joins his in a slow glide.Ā
You lose yourself in the sensation of it all, unable to notice anything beyond the heat that is rapidly building between you like fireworks ready to explode. Your head spins, swimming with endorphins and high off the smell of him. The taste.
A playful nibble of your lip unexpectedly has a rather desperate keen escaping your throat. You pause, making to pull back in your embarrassment, but the sound only seems to activate Jungkook, who follows you in your attempted retreat, mouth chasing yours in its reluctance to part. It's only when your back finally touches the floor that you realize he's slowly guided you there. You've been in a haze, too swept into the plot of the movie you've somehow found yourself in to do anything but be pulled along. Ā
As naturally as breathing, your find your knees have parted, and Jungkook easily slips into the space you've created for him, almost trancelike. As if he doesn't even realize he's doing it, too focused on exploring the fever of your mouth. He's leaning most of his weight on the hands he has posted on either side of your head; even still, every single millimeter of you that does touch him is sparking like live wires, euphoric goosebumps rippling across your skin. You let out a shaky breath that fogs his glasses, but even that doesn't stop him, just makes him pull back from you just enough to be able to whip them off and toss them somewhere, wholly unconcerned.
Emboldened by this, you sling a leg over his hip, and he eagerly accepts your invitation, settling on you properly. You're covered in him now, pelvises properly flush, and now that he's caged you in, Jungkook takes the opportunity to glide his lips away from yours and trail across your jawline instead. You shiver, every atom of you buzzing at his touch, and his mouth continues its trek, sucking hot down the column of your throat with just enough pressure that you know color will bloom there later.Ā
Your hips reflexively jump at his ministrations, your skirt riding further up your thighs, and the hard press of him against your panties has you swallowing down a moan. He freezes for a fraction of a second, but then his hips respond to the lure of yours with a more intentional roll. A contented sound rumbles in the back of his throat, tongue dipping to meander across your collarbone.
This is crazy. This is crazy. But you can't quite find it in yourself to care much as the two of you rut against each other on the office floor, your hand gliding up his back to root in the hair at his nape.Ā
Your hips undulate restlessly, eager to meet the crest of his wave, and Jungkook matches your intensity, catching your earlobe between his teeth. Your shared grind is measured but deliberate, and even through his pants you can feel the hard shape of him pressing right against your aching core. A particularly pointed roll has Jungkook shuddering hot into the shell of your ear, and that is what finally tamps down the last of your restraint and triggers something much more primal.
Dizzy with want, your hands scrabble between you and aim for the button of his slacks, eager to be properly introduced to whatās underneath. But to your slow horror, Jungkook freezes at the touch, motionless for a few breathless seconds before he actually starts lifting off of you and pulling back. Itās only when heās completely sat up and is staring at you that the full weight of what youāve just done hits you like a freight train.
Holy shit. Holy shit.Ā
You really were just dry humping. A coworker. And you were doing it on the premises of the place that pays your fucking bills! Making out, dry humping, and you were actively aiming to do much more if he hadn't stopped you.Ā
What the fuck has gotten into you?Ā
You scrabble upright, dizzy with the mortification rapidly seeping deep into your bones. Stupidly, you blink at him, paralyzed with embarrassment but unable to look away. A deer in headlights.
Jungkook stares right back, eyes dark and all pupil. Dazedly, you wonder if you look as fucked out as he doesāthereās a smattering of red across his cheeks, and his hair has been thoroughly mussed by your own hands. A tongue dips out to swipe over kiss-swollen lips, stealing your attention away from the rapid rise and fall of his chest.
And suddenly, youāre able to kickstart into gear.
āI am so sorry,ā you burst out, panic nearly choking you. āThat was highly inappropriate and I seriously donāt know what came over meāā
It takes you a few moments to register that heās moved back in, and that itās the returned press of his lips that interrupts your babbling apology before it can properly catch its stride. Youāre almost too afraid to respond in kind, as if youāll somehow scare him away again, but the insistence in his kiss practically knocks the breath from your lungs. Patiently, he coaxes your rigid lips back pliant. And only when itās clear you wonāt try to run away does he lean back a second time, but only enough to see your eyes properly.
āNo,ā he murmurs, breath fanning hot over you. āThat was very much appropriate.āĀ
Youāre not quite sure how to respond to that, too shell-shocked by this turn of events and actively battling your triggered fight or flight response. āUm. Thenā¦then why did youā¦ā
Jungkookās eyes flutter closed, as if heās gathering himself. āI want to,ā he mumbles, seemingly to himself, but then heās looking right at you again, gaze heavy with resolve. āItās justā¦do you mind if I try something first?ā
That throws you for a loop. Your jaw opens then shuts again while you contemplate his question, as well as your answer. āI mean, I guess? It depends on what it is.ā
That you don't instantly reject him visibly unwinds a tension in his body that you only now realize was there. A rather feral look crosses his face, immediately inciting goosebumps to ripple across your skin in anticipation. But then the intensity of his expression dims, edged with something more contemplative. Jungkook gives you a pensive nod then stands, looking around curiously. āHey, where does that viper sit?ā
You blink, bewildered. āā¦The who?ā
āThe one whoās always with you at lunch.ā He locks eyes with you, tongue poking through his cheek. āYou know. The one whoās on your team but still had no second thoughts about leaving you here tonight by yourself.ā
Joy. Heās talking about Joy.Ā
The question makes you pause in suspicion, but you still hook a thumb towards the cubicle next to yours, on the other side of your shared wall. āThere. Why?ā
āNo reason,ā he says with a sly grin, holding out a hand to you. You take it without question and he easily helps you to your feet. But then before you can process it, heās slid both hands around your waist and easily lifted you off the ground, already in route to the exact cubicle you called out. You yelp in surprise, your arms reflexively circling his neckāyour legs, his middleāin your bodyās scramble for balance. But Jungkookās hold on you is secure, grip moving down to the back of your thighs instead, and now that your chests are once again flush, you can actually feel his chuckle. His amusement provokes yours, and you canāt help but giggle as he carries you over to Joyās cube as easily as if you weigh nothing.
Clearly, his exercise routine is working out for him.
After using a hand to sweep some objects out of the way, Jungkook carefully sets you down on Joyās desk, right next to her monitor. Your mirth only grows at the feeling of whatever printouts she left for later review crinkling under your weight, at the sight of displaced pens rolling off the edge and disappearing to the ether that is the floor.
Jungkook has set you down, but he doesnāt pull away, just leans down and recaptures your eager lips. Heās tall enough that heās kind of hunching over to kiss you, neck really craned, but he doesnāt seem to care much about that, kissing you with the same ferocity as moments before, when the two of you were entangled on the carpet. And you canāt help but match his fervor, hands reaching to guide his slim hips even closer, into the widening gap you naturally create for him between your legs.Ā
Time constricts and expands, an endless and meaningless concept. Because all that matters now is the tongue he slips past your lips to slide against yours, slowly, like heās savoring the taste of you. All that matters is how fucking great he smellsālike clean laundry and smoke and warm skin speckled with sweatāsomething youāve always caught whiffs of, but now completely surrounds you, invading all your senses and sending your lust into overdrive.Ā
āIs this what you wanted to try?ā you pant hotly when your lips finally separate for a moment in your quest for air. āDefiling Joyās desk?ā
Heās leaning his forehead against yours while he also attempts to catch his breath, and heās so close that it would be hard for you to miss his amused flash of teeth. āSort of. Iād like to defile it more thoroughly, though. Starting with this.āĀ
Jungkook leans in for one last kiss, one that starts at your mouth, moves to your neck, and to your surprise, continues down the line of your body. Over your collarbone, careful hands popping open a few buttons of your blouse so he can nestle more surely into the curve of your breasts, warm lips skating across eager skin. For a few moments, he actually nuzzles his face into your middle, a gesture you find rather sweet before he incites a shiver through your body by licking against your clothed navel. And before you can fully realize whatās happening, heās slipped to his knees.
You look down at him in surprise, body still slotted between your legs, but this time more eye-level with the secret, needy part of you that has been thrumming excitedly with every beat of your heart. āWhat are youā¦ā
āYouāre always doing everything for everyone else,ā comes his murmured reply. āWill you allow me to do something for you?ā
Your brain is still so hazy from the spell of his mouth that it takes you a moment to recognize whatās happening. What heās asking for. But when his large palms are hot against the naked skin of your thighs, gentle pressure urging them to part even more, it all hits you like a truck. Your eyes dart around, paranoid. āJungkook,ā you hiss. āā¦Here?ā
āTheyāre too cheap to put cameras anywhere other than the lobby.ā He turns his head, lips pressing reassurance into the side of your knee. āAnd no oneās here.ā His reminder as gentle as the kisses he continues to adorn you with. āJust you.ā Kiss. āAnd me.ā
Heās right, you know. No one else is here to witness the series of bad decisions youāve just madeāto witness the ones youāre still seriously considering.Ā
Still, you hesitate.
Jungkookās staring intently at you, doe-eyed and cherry-lipped and deceptively innocent despite what heās requesting of you. āPlease?ā he asks again, oh-so-sweetly. Reverently prostrating before your altar, praying for the blessing of an ambivalent goddess. You. āI justā¦I really want to. Ever since that day, I canāt stop thinking about it and Iāplease?ā
Your brows furrow as you try to make sense of what heās saying, still scrambling to keep up with this current turn of events. What day? Your mind whirrs, jumping around before finally settling on an embarrassing memory youāve willed yourself to forget.Ā
Lunch, where Wendy somehow got you to admit youāve never gotten head, and Jungkook, purportedly oblivious, too busy on his phone to ever pay your table any attention.Ā
ā¦Except from what heās saying right now, he had heard every word. Heard, and filed it away for safekeeping, only revealing to you now, when he can possibly do something about it.
Absently, your tongue dips out to swipe across your lips, and Jungkookās attention visibly strays towards the action, thumbs rubbing slow circles into your thighs and sending electricity straight to your core. God, do you want to say yes. Even though youāve never done this before, your inexperience is not at all the reason for your reluctance. Itās the optics. Youāre at work.
Your head tilts as you try to accurately take stock of the situation. Youāre at work. But technically, you should have clocked out hours ago. Technically, this job has been stealing a lot of time that should have been yours to choose what to do with. Case in pointāyouāre the only person on your team still within a five-mile radius of this godforsaken building. Because everyone else deserted you without a second thought, designating you to be the one who struggles to print presentations for a meeting that has been on the calendar for literal months.
But.Ā
While itās easy to assume they forced this fate upon you, Fate is not one easily compelled to do anotherās bidding. And, trapped in the gaze of the sweet man still patiently awaiting permission to ruin you, you canāt help but wonder if this has been Her plan all along.Ā
For months youāve been doing everything for everyone else, so unhappy and stressed that each day in this place only wound you tighter and tighter. Soā¦what if you finally just let yourself snap? Did what you wanted for once? Stopped following the rules that nobody else ever seemed to and just let go?Ā
You exhale. Fuck it.
āOkay.ā
Jungkook grins, boyishly innocuous at first, but rapidly morphing into something much more devilish as you watch. He turns to kiss your knee again, and you startle a little at the action, newly on edge. āDonāt be nervous,ā he says, still holding your gaze. Making sure you can see his resolve. āI got you.āĀ
āOkay,ā you say again, but thatās easier said than done, especially when he takes the opportunity to gently push your knees even further apart. Naturally, your skirt rides further up, and you canāt help the apprehension that washes over you at your increasing lack of modesty. Still, you hold true to your word, aggressively tamping down the urge to scramble off the desk and pretend this all never happened. But though you brace yourself for what comes nextā¦
Jungkook doesnāt move.
Long moments pass before you canāt help but say something. āAre you just gonna look?ā Because thatās all he seems to be doing, laser-focused on the juncture of your thighs.
He visibly stirs at the sound of your voice, but still doesnāt do much more than tsk at you. āDonāt rush me,ā comes his light reprimand, eyes still locked on what youāre sure at this point is a growing dark spot on your panties. āI donāt half-ass things and I definitely wonāt rush this. No oneās here, so just relax and enjoy the ride.ā
Your jittery nerves have you reflexively mouthy, but your retort swiftly dies on your tongue when his hand finally moves further up your skirtāfurther inwardāand two fingers pointedly press right against that dark spot and glide over your clothed lips. You gasp, fighting against the urge to snap your legs shut when he slowly circles your clit and sends sparks dancing down your legs.Ā
āBetter?ā he murmurs.
āMuch,ā you squeak.
āGood,ā he says, eyebrows knitted in thought as he circles and circles. Your thighs twitch, and he leans forward like he canāt help himself, nose pressing solidly against you with a long, audible inhale.
A fascinated oh falls from your lips, heartbeat accelerating excitedly in your ears, but Jungkook only responds by nestling further against your pussy, tracing the length of your lips with a slow, wet swipe of his tongue through the fabric. He breathes hot against your clit and you inadvertently buck at the stimulation, only inciting the wicked curl of his lips. He looks up at you darkly through the curtain of his bangs, and something unexpected and primal simmers beneath your skin.
āCan I have these?ā he asks huskily, lightly snapping the elastic of your panties against your skin.Ā
You clear your throat, suddenly wishing you had the foresight to put on something more interesting today than your unassuming cotton undies. āHave as in you wonāt give them back?ā
He lets out an amused puff of air, tilts his head. āI havenāt decided yet.ā
You nod your assent. Youāre now impossibly invested in where he plans to take this, and itās not like you donāt have more pairs at home. āKnock yourself out.ā
Immediately, his hands are up your skirt. Theyāre big, but theyāre also gentle, caressing your thighs and even taking a slight detour to the meat of your ass before continuing their mission to the band of your underwear. When he starts to pull, you help him, shifting your weight so he can slip the fabric over your hips and down your legs.
Jungkookās Adamās apple dips when his eyes are finally able to feast on you without a barrier. āSo fucking hot,ā he mutters, almost to himself, and then without further warning, his mouth seals around your sex.
You whimper in surprise, not at all used to the sensation of someone kissing you there. And kiss you he does, carefully at first, judging your reaction. But when you do nothing but grip the edge of the desk, biting your lip in an attempt to stifle the rather desperate sounds crawling up your throat, he swiftly devolves into kissing you with the same passion as he had the lips on your face. His tongue laps at you with sure, even strokes, dragging across the seam of you and then through it, making sure to slide along your clit on every upstroke.Ā
Your breath quickens, jaw falling slack. You werenāt sure what you imagined oral sex to be like before this, but you never expected how easily your body submits to his ministrations. Almost without you realizing it, your thighs part even more, hips automatically canting down to meet his eager mouth. A hand reaches for him, fingers winding through his hair and rooting there, and Jungkook hums in approval, his own hands wrapping securely around your thighs, your ass. His fingers sinking into the yielding softness of you, gently holding you steady against his face while you start to gyrate and moan.
God, does he look good down there. Heās always looked good, even before you knew what he was hiding behind those shy smiles and nerdy glasses, but something about the sight of him, jaw working as he sucks on you, lashes fluttering in pleasure in his quest to please youā
Without warning, he detaches with an audible pop, and a disgruntled sound reflexively leaves you. Breathless, you start to ask him why he stopped, but the words die on your tongue when you realize heās staring at you again. That he pulled back for a moment just so he can get a good look at the mess heās making of you. So he can properly see how your pussy aches and drools for him.
āGood?ā he asks, voice deep and thick.
āSo fucking good,ā you sigh. What you know he wants to hear, but also 1000% the truth. Youāre starting to understand what Wendy has been blathering about, but is it always like this? Or is it Jungkook in particular who is making you so unbelievably aroused? Is your rapidly snowballing crush on him that strong, or does pussy eating simply rank high on his skillset?
As if he can hear your thoughts, Jungkook moves to slip a finger into you, and you canāt help but moan when he breaches you, the digit sliding in so easily that he quickly adds another, thumb pressing surely into your clit as he starts a slow drag in and out.Ā
āShit,ā you shudder, eyes rolling back into your head. Hips sliding further off the desk, reflexively seeking the delicious stimulation. One of your hands scrabbles across the desk, unconsciously trying to root you, and youāre much too preoccupied with how good heās making you feel to notice when you accidentally knock over a mug full of pens. A stapler clanks to the ground. āFuck.āĀ
āLook, baby,ā he breathes, moaning along with you when the pet name immediately makes your pussy flutter. āLook.ā
At his encouragement, you do. You watch the flex of his tattooed arm as his fingers continue to disappear within you, a lewd squelch coinciding with his movements. You watch as he adds another finger, the additional stretch immediately noticeable but even more delicious. You watch him watch you, eyes all pupil, lips swollen and slick with your desire.
āMore,ā you whine, frenzied and greedy. And Jungkook immediately heeds your call, leaning back in. He sucks on your clit with three fingers sunk in you, expertly crooked towards your pelvic bone, and you jolt, accidentally knocking something else off the desk. Neither of you pays the resulting clattering any attention, too wrapped up in the way you writhe at his ministrations. He hums in approval, the vibrations only intensifying your ecstasy. He flattens his tongue as your hips desperately circle, letting you control the stimulation. And when itās clear you still need more, he changes tactics and rapidly laps at you instead, as if youāre a melting ice cream cone, while he beckons, beckons.Ā
Your blood is volcanic, hot pressure bubbling beneath the prison of your skin, building and building within your core. The higher he takes you, the more the grip you have on his hair unintentionally tightens, but that only seems to urge him on, locking eyes with you as the thrust of his fingers turns harder and more calculated. Giving you no other choice but to finally erupt. Ā Ā
You cum with a loud groan, gasping through it while your cunt rhythmically clamps down on his digits, hard. Jungkook talks you through it, murmuring encouraging words your buzzing brain has trouble deciphering because his hand still doesnāt stop, pounding right into your g-spot and making your eyes cross and toes curl with the force of it. And when you finally canāt take anymore, jerking with oversensitivity, you grab him by the wrist in a wordless plea for mercy.
And Jungkook grants it. You can tell that he wants to play with you moreāwants to guide you over and over to the precipice just see the look on your face when he shoves you offābut ever the gentleman, he reins in his enthusiasm and obediently slips his fingers out of you. He takes a few seconds to admire his handiwork, eyes shining in reverence as he marvels in the dripping, throbbing, panting aftermath that is you.
āWow,ā you say, still dizzy with endorphins. Never in a million years did you think it would feel like that.
āYeah,ā he agrees, voice thick. āWow.ā He lifts his hand, remnants of you visibly slicking his fingers and webbing between the digits, and without a second thought, sticks them in his mouth and sucks. The resulting slurping of his errant tongue is nothing short of obscene, but your cunt flutters again anyway, interest clear despite being thoroughly satisfied only moments before. And when line of your essence starts to drip down your thigh, Jungkook makes sure to lean in and catch it with his tongue.
You shiver with the feeling of him on you again, mouth hot and wet, thighs still trembling. Heās taking his time, tongue dragging a slow path back up to the source, determined to feast upon the rewards of his efforts. But you canāt take it anymore. God, heās so hot. Heās so fucking hot and you want him so fucking bad.
You need him. Biblically.Ā
Near delirious, you reach for him, hands scrabbling across his shoulders, fingers trailing the back of his neck and guiding him to stand. Arms circling his waist and pulling him closer to youāclose, closeāJungkook easily slotting into spread of your thighs.
He follows your unspoken commands easily and without question, looking down at you with a rather pleased smile that crinkles his eyes in the corners. Determined to steal the breath from his lungs, just as he just did to you, you lean in to lick that smile pliant and open. Thereās a curious taste on his tongue that it doesnāt take long to deduce is you, and thatās only even more of an aphrodisiac, revving you up further.Ā
Your hands continue to roam, sliding down a little to grope his backside, startling a laugh out of him. But when your fingers tease the waistband of his slacks, his delight visibly shutters away into something else entirely.
āYou donāt have to do that,ā he breathes, even as he reflexively bucks into the hand youāre using to palm him over his pants. āThis was about you.ā
āThen let it be about me,ā you counter, a mischievous smile curling your lips. Even through his pants you can tell he's hard. That he wants this just as badly as you do.Ā Still, when he gasps out a wait, you obediently stop your ministrations and move to take your hand back.Ā
He doesn't let you get far, lacing his fingers through yours and visibly considering his next words for a few moments before settling on, āWhat do you need?āĀ
Itās a simple enough question, but you can't help but be immediately reminded of him saying these exact words to you, a little over an hour ago. Now, however, they sit heavy on his tongue, heady and syrupy in hushed invitations.Ā
The revelation hits you all at once, heart pounding excitedly in your ears.
You need only ask. Youāve only ever needed to ask.
And since all caution was thrown to the wind the moment you agreed to let him suck your soul out through your pussy...
āYou said youāve been thinking about me? Well, Iāve been thinking about you too. For a while, even though Iāve been trying not to.āĀ
Youāve had his attention this whole time, but the way Jungkook's regarding you now, now that youāve said that? He's hanging onto every word, so hyper-focused that it would unnerve you if this wasnāt exactly what you were looking for.Ā
āSoā¦ā Adrenaline has your fingers restless against his, but you still dive headfirst. āWhat I need is for you to fuck me and finish what you started.ā
A beat. One where he holds your gaze, the space between you so electrified that youāre surprised you donāt see sparks. But then heās on you again, mouth meeting yours in a frenzied clash of lips and teeth, and this time he doesnāt stop you when your hands scrabble for his fly.
Jungkook wastes no time, smoothing his hands up your legs and pushing your skirt out of the way. He lets out a shuddered breath when you stroke him through his underwear, when you reach down the waistband and grip him properly.
Heās warm and thick in your hand, and the thought of him finally in your guts damn near has you vibrating. Just like you thought before, heās already nice and hard, but you still pump him a few times just to revel in the proof of what youāve done to him. Velvet over stone.
And despite having all the time in the world when the foreplay is for you, Jungkook doesnāt seem to have any patience for himself. Youāre only able to enjoy the weight of him in your grip for a few passes before heās surging into action. Strategically, he grabs you by the knees and lifts, maneuvering your legs into the crooks of his elbows. The move opens you up to him further and forces you more horizontal, leaning back on your forearms, nearly pressed against the cubicle wall. Ā
The way he ate you out moments before ensured youād be primed for him, your pussy soft and slick and just begging to be filled. When he finally lines himself up and begins the slow press in, your jaw immediately falls open, tongue going lax at the intense pleasure. āOh my god,ā you manage to whine, eyes threatening to roll shut.
The unhurried way heās sinking into you is likely in effort not to unintentionally hurt you. Because after everything else, why not add another thing to the ever growing list of surprises youāre learning about your unassuming coworkerānot only has he been tatted and muscular this whole time, but his dick is also fucking huge. Without even realizing it, youāve stopped breathing, the pressure of him nudging your walls apart too much stimulation for your body to continue even subconscious functioning.Ā
As if he can tell your brain is actively short-circuiting, Jungkookās hands circle your thighs, thumbs kneading the flesh in mild distraction for when he finally bottoms out. Itās only now that you can properly notice the effect youāre having on himāhair starting to stick to his forehead from perspiration, teeth grit as he struggles to stay still for you.Ā But you donāt want him to be still.
āFuck me,ā you whimper, wiggling in your impatience and making him suck in a breath. āPlease. Give it to me.ā
The resulting roll of his hips has him swearing and you seeing stars. āFuck. You can have whatever you want,ā he says, already making good on his promise with a slow grid. āDonāt worry, baby. Iāll give you whatever you want.ā
Itās good, so good, especially because Jungkook uses his grip on your thighs as leverage to ramp up his thrusts, easily maneuvering you over his cock in a way that has your toes curling. By the time heās really fucking youājaw set, brows furrowed in concentrationāyouāre crosseyed and mewling incoherently. You should be embarrassed by the sounds heās pounding out of you, but youāre so focused on the overwhelming pleasure that you canāt find it in yourself to care very much.Ā
Chasing the high you already feel him leading you towards, you lift one of your legs to change the angle, and he catches on immediately, helping guide your ankle to hook over his shoulder with a distracted kiss against the bone. And itās deeper this way, the angle ensuring he brushes against your spongy nerves with every stroke, only making you spiral faster.Ā
He notices, of course. Notices how quickly heās taking you to your end and revels in it, sliding a hand inward and thumbing your clit, fast and hard.
You jolt at the extra stimulation, gasping and overwhelmed. āOh my godddā¦ā Ā
āCome on,ā he croons, his dulcet tone at odds with the wickedness of his hand. His dick. āDonāt you want to cum for me?ā
āIā¦ā you choke out, struggling to form any sort of coherent thought as you feel everything get tighter. āIā¦ā
You see his lips moving as he presumably says something else. But you canāt understand anything other than your own moaning when your pussy finally locks down. This orgasm is somehow more intense than the last one, your thighs rippling with the force of it, your hands desperately scrabbling over the desk in an effort to find something to ground you.Ā
And Jungkook fucks you through it, still talking, and itās only when the whooshing in your ears starts to subside that you can finally decipher what heās saying in between his own moaning. āThere you go. Being so good for me. So good.ā
Your only reply is your gasping breath as your orgasm slowly fades, replaced with oversensitivity. But you donāt want him to stop. You donāt want this to stop, reveling in the feel of him on you, in you. And Jungkook doesnāt, instead sliding your leg off his shoulder so he can grab you by the waist with both hands and properly yank you forward, moving you over his cock to his liking.Ā
The desk creaks with your effort, a rhythmic cacophony with the harsh smacking of his balls against your ass. You mewl, needing him closer still, and curl your legs around his hips, locking your ankles. Heās now trapped against you, but he groans like thatās exactly what he wanted, both hands gliding up the length of your body to grasp the back of your neck instead, giving him even better leverage to plunge into you, deep, deep. He leans down and rests his forehead against yours, licks into your panting mouth.Ā
At this point, his thrusts are turning manic, but youāre meeting every one of them, deliriously following him in his descent into madness. But when he catches your lower lip with his teeth, your breath hollows, and then, quicker than you can register itās happening, you cum again, spasming around him with a long, high-pitched whine.
Jungkook lets you ride it out, but this time, his thrusts slow while you thrash. And itās not until your soul finally floats back into your body that you realize heās already pulled out of you and is bucking into his own fist instead. Ā
You almost took him over the edge with you, you realize. Though he clearly has incredible stamina, you have finally brought him to his limit, and everything inside you glows at the knowledge that heās here, roughly pumping himself, moans falling freely from his lips because of you.Ā
Entranced, you reach for him, delighting in the whimper he lets out when your fingers wrap around his base. His own hand immediately falls to grip the edge of the desk instead, and you glide your fist up, finding his cock sticky with your juices. Jungkook just rests his head in the crook of your neck and lets you jack him off, whining through it when you match his previously punishing pace. And it doesnāt take long before he finally, finally splashes hot over your hand. Against your thigh.Ā
Your hand slows, twisting your wrist and milking him for every drop. Intent on extending his pleasure, just like he made sure to do for you. And you only stop when he flinches away from your touch, twitchy and shivering as he leans against you.Ā
Reluctantly, you let go. The two of you share the same balmy breath, struggling to calm your racing hearts. And when Jungkook finally backs away from you, unhurried in the way he gathers himself back into his slacks, there is a wildly satisfied grin on his face.
Youāre satisfied too, though you try to have some sense of propriety and use a tissue from the box next to Joyās monitor to wipe off the sticky remains of his pleasure. Throwing away the evidence, you hop off the desk, locating your long-discarded panties and slipping them back on, smoothing down your skirt.
āSo,ā you tease lightly. Your head swims a little with the knowledge of what you just did, but youāre surprised to realize you feel zero guilt about it. āIs your plan to stick it to everyone whoās wronged me? If so, we should do it on Mabel next. Thatāll show her.ā
Jungkook laughs, a giddy, giggly thing. Heās now doing his best to pick up and replace everything that fell from Joyās desk during your romp. āNah, I could never disrespect her like that. That olā girlās been such a great wingman these past few months.ā
Thatās a rather curious statement to make. You frown a little, shoot him an inquisitive sound.
āYou always call me when Mabelās not working,ā he shrugs. āSo when I wanted to see you, she was nice enough help.āĀ
You canāt help itāa smile creeps across your face, equally bashful and flattered. He wanted to see you! For months, by his open admission. āAnd the printer knew exactly when you wanted to see me?" you joke. āSounds like dark magic to me.ā
Jungkookās valiantly trying to straighten and smooth out some of the papers the two of you disturbed. āDeleted some print jobs,ā he replies offhandedly, clearly distracted by the task at hand.Ā
Record scratch.Ā
Thereās an extended silence as your brain shuffles through different iterations of his sentence, trying to decipher exactly he meant by that. Because there's no way he just admitted to what you think he just did. āDidā¦did you just say you've been deleting my print jobs?ā you ask incredulously. Because thereās no way.
Thereās no way, yet at your words, Jungkook immediately stiffens. His lips part, but he doesn't defend himself. Doesn't say anything at allājust drops the pen heās holding and stares at you with wide eyes.
Holy shit. Holy shit. He really has been doing it! He obviously hadn't meant to tell you that, but the relaxation of afterglow has clearly removed the filter between his brain and his mouth.Ā
The weight of his revelation hits you, seemingly happenstance events connecting in your mind and starting to fall into place. All the hassle and irritation that stupid printer has been giving you, and it turns out Mabel has been working just fine?!Ā
āPlease don't be mad,ā he pleads, finally finding his voice. Ā
āAre you seriously saying that all this timeāāĀ Ā
āNo! No, I only did it a few times,ā he sheepishly rushes to correct you. āAnd I promise, I havenāt done it in weeks.ā
āSeriously?āĀ
āI just...wanted an excuse to talk to you!ā
āJungkook, you literally talk to me all the time!ā
āAbout work! Notāā he averts his eyes, lets out an irritated breath. āItās just. Iāve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out.ā
You blink, gaping slightly as your whirring mind tries to process what heās just told you. āAsk meā¦out?āĀ
āI didnāt mean to doā¦all this.ā He waves a hand over the mess the two of you are still cleaning up, clearly embarrassed. āI mean, at least not before buying you dinner first.ā
Moments pass as you stare at him in stunned, disbelieving silence. Then, like a volcano erupting, laughter bursts from you, loud and sudden. Because what the fuck? You canāt believe all of this is actually happening to you. In real life. āYou jackass,ā you cackle. āDo you have any idea how much grief that printer has been giving me? Iām over here stressed and youāve been gaslighting me and doing it on purpose?ā
āJust a few times,ā he repeats, visibly confused by the juxtaposition of the mirth in your voice and the actual words youāre saying.Ā
āAnd that doesnāt change the fact that youāre still a jackass,ā you laugh. āButā¦ā You clear your throat, suddenly somehow shy, despite everything that has occurred and been said. āā¦I suppose you can still take me out to dinner.ā Ā
āYeah?ā His lips stretch into a slow, hopeful smile.
āYeah. Now, if you want. I think weāre pretty much done here.ā You smile back, quickly taking stock of the binders still scattered across the floor. Most of them are completed, but whatever else you need to do can be done tomorrow morning. āBesides, I seem to have worked up an appetite.āĀ
Jungkook looks nothing short of smug, but you suppose you canāt fault him that. āWell then,ā he practically purrs, āLetās hurry up and feed you.āĀ
Moving in comfortable silence, the two of you finish putting everything youāve disturbed back in their original spots, gathering the last of the binders and stacking them neatly on your desk. You reach for your purse while Jungkook goes to collect his hastily discarded belongings.
āSo,ā you start. āWhere are you taking me? Itās kind of late.ā This late on a weeknight, kitchens would be shutting down soon.
He pauses in sliding his leather jacket back on, frowning a little as he realizes youāre right. āShit,ā he mutters. āI wanted to take you somewhere nice.ā
āYou can,ā you say with an unbothered wave of your hand. āThat can be next time. Letās just find something quick now.ā
āSo youāre saying I get a second date?ā he grins.
Oh. That is what you just implied, isnāt it? You would be embarrassed by how forward you were being if Jungkook wasnāt visibly delighted by it. Wow, he really does like you. And since the feeling is mutual, you just look away coyly and say, āIf you play your cards right.ā
Jungkook hoists his backpack over a shoulder, and itās only then that you see what else he happened to be carrying in his hands when he dropped everything for you. A helmet.
You gesture towards the object with a curious incline of your head. āWhatās that for?ā
āMy bike,ā comes his easy answer, but thatās not the kind of helmet that one wears for bicycle rides. No, this one is made for something much faster.Ā
Now that you think about it, youāve seen the motorcycle in the parking lot beforeāyouāve just never really given it a second thought. And now you canāt stop thinking about it, because the unassuming vehicle youāve often passed on your way into the building has been Jungkookās the whole time. Your mind is blown. How many more times is he going to surprise you tonight? Ā
āā¦Do you always drive a motorcycle?ā you ask incredulously.
āDepends on the day,ā he shrugs with grin. āSometimes I take the bus, but I like to ride my bike when the weatherās nice.ā His eyes are bright with pride, visibly happy to have impressed you.Ā
Your mouth opens and closes, thoughts racing so fast your tongue struggles to hold onto any of them. Before you realize youāre doing it, you blurt, āAlright. Are you even real?ā
Jungkook blinks owlishly at you, clearly not expecting that question. āWhat?āĀ
āI thought Iāve known you for months. But was any of that real?ā you repeat. āHell, do you even need glasses?ā
āOf course,ā he rushes to say. āItās all me. I can just be a little shy, is all.ā Wow, he actually said shy with a straight face, as if he didnāt just finish ravaging you over multiple surfaces. āAnd I like to be professional, so this place doesnāt get to have all facets of me. I know you can relate.ā
You can. Your constant struggle to not complain? To be professional and work hard and hope youāll be rewarded for your efforts? Obviously thatās a reason why the two of you ended up in this situation in the first place.
He ducks his head a little, tapping the glasses he picked up off the floor in petition for their validity. āAnd these really are prescription. I mean, I can mostly see without them, but since I stare at computer screens all day, itās less strain on my eyes.ā
āOh,ā you say quietly, feeling silly to have even asked. But who knew the quiet IT guy who kept mostly to himself was also this? Buff and tatted with a wicked tongue that youāre now intimately acquainted with.Ā
Shyly, he holds his helmet out to you. He hesitates before speaking again, almost like heās afraid of spooking you. āWanna go for a ride?ā And from the way color lightly blooms across his cheeks, you get the sense that heās offering you more than just protective gear.
You take it without second thought.
The next day you and Jungkook get off the elevator together, a respectable distance between you, but arms still brushing too often to be casual. When you come to the hallway that will force you in separate directions, you pause.
āHave a good day,ā you say. Jungkook grins, the delighted brightness of it baring too much teeth and crinkling his eyes in the corners.
āYou too,ā he winks. āLet me know if Mabel gives you any more issues.ā
You snort at his brazenness, biting down a smile as you head to your cubicle. Your whole body buzzes, glowing from inside out.
Youāre technically right on time, but youāve definitely arrived later than usual, and thatās obvious when you head over to your department and find Joy already there waiting for you. She frowns as you approach, no doubt clocking your empty hands and wondering how sheās going to make it through the morning without her expected syrupy caffeine fix.Ā
To her credit, she doesnāt call you out on it, but you donāt really care if she does. Youāre done playing errand boy. From now on, everyone else will have to stop before work and get their own shit, if they want it so bad.
Because itās all so clear to you now. Youāre here, and youāre going to do your best, but youāre not going to let this place wear you down to jaded slivers. Youāre going to work hard and learn all that you can, but you refuse to be anyoneās lapdog.Ā
They will respect you. And your value will be recognized and rewardedāor youāll simply find somewhere else where it will.Ā
Joy must sense your new resolve, because she simply hovers by your desk and chirps, āGood morning.ā
āMorning.āĀ
āDid you have a good night?ā
Your lips quirk. āYou could say that. What about you?ā
āEh, it was okay,ā she sighs. āMet a guy for dinner, but I donāt think thatās going anywhere.āĀ
So while you were stuck here last night, having a grade-A meltdown, she was on a date. That tracks.
Joy chatters on while you put your things away, not seeming to notice or care that youāre not particularly interested in what sheās saying. And while this would normally irritate the living shit out of you, today, it doesnāt.Ā
Today, your eyes canāt help but glaze over as your mind drifts back to how your night went. Today, you just hum agreeably until she gets bored with you and decides to go back to her own cubicle.
And when you hear her ask over the wall if youāve seen her stapler, you just smile and smile.Ā Ā
Jungkook is a ghost in the machine ā a man with no surname, no public face, and enough power at his fingertips to collapse lives with one command. You are a high-profile cybercrime and privacy lawyer standing between a young witness and a criminal ring built on organ trafficking, surveillance, and digital destruction. When the people you are fighting turn their cameras on you, an anonymous warning keeps you alive. Then another. Then another. You do not know who Jungkook is yet, only that the mafia watches to destroy, and he watches to protect.
Pairing: Hacker!Jungkook x Cybercrime Lawyer!Reader
ā¤·ļ¹Love You to Death: The Obsession Files - masterlist
a/n: I worked really hard to release it before I gave up with the proofreading. It may not be perfect but I have spent a month on this little baby. I love creating plots that are dark and with psychological tension. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did whilst writing it š
The first timeĀ JungkookĀ saved your life, you did not know his name. You only knew that the courtroom smelled faintly of polished wood, rain-soaked wool, and the kind of expensive cologne men wore when they had learned to hide rot beneath money. The judge satĀ above all ofĀ you, face unreadable beneath the soft glow of the overhead lights. The prosecution team had goneĀ quietĀ beside you. TheĀ victim advocate had stopped writing. Even the detective at the back of the courtroom had his jaw clenched hard enough to hurt.Ā
On the other side of the aisle,Ā NamjoonĀ leaned back in his chair as if he had not justĀ submittedĀ manipulated digital evidence into court with the confidence of a man who knew someone higher up would make the consequences disappear. He looked at you as if he expected you to flinch. You did not. You stood slowly, buttoned your blazer with calm hands, and looked from the digital records on the screen to the judge, then back toĀ Namjoon.Ā
āI did not think you could get any lower,Ā Namjoon. But here we are.āĀ
A few people shifted in their seats.Ā Namjoonās mouth curled. āAnything for the money.ā You smiled then, but there was nothing kindĀ inĀ it. āThen I hope they paid enough for what is left of your conscience.ā The courtroom changed after that. You could feel it before anyone said a word. The pressure.Ā The suddenĀ attention. The way theĀ defenceĀ counselāsĀ polished confidence slipped for half a second before he covered it with a lazy laugh. The way the men in the second row, men who had no reason to be there except intimidation, stopped pretending they were bored.Ā
The case wasĀ supposed to be about digital manipulation, privacy breaches, financial coercion, and a young woman who had been brave enough to testify against people everyone else wasĀ too frightened to name. It wasĀ notĀ supposed to lead to hospitals. It wasĀ notĀ supposed to lead to missing women. It wasĀ notĀ supposed to lead to bodiesĀ found along mountain pathsĀ with organsĀ missing and official reportsĀ that alwaysĀ seemed to close too quickly. But you knew what happened when powerful people were given enough time toĀ cleanĀ a crimeĀ scene. They called murder a tragedy. They called evidence unreliable. They calledĀ survivorsĀ unstable. They called corruptionĀ procedure.Ā
You had spent your career learning how to stand in polished rooms and say, no. No, that file was altered. No, that witness was coerced. No, that girl was not lying. No, you would not let money rewrite the truth. That afternoon, the judge grantedĀ a continuanceĀ for further forensic review.Ā NamjoonĀ was furious enough to stop smiling. The prosecution team looked like they had been given oxygen. The young victimās mother cried quietly into both hands. You should have felt relief. Instead, as you left the courthouse through the lower car park, you felt watched. It was late enough for the sky over Seoul to have turned grey-blue, rain threatening in the clouds. Your heels echoed across the concrete. Your phone was in one hand, your bag in the other, your keys already threaded between your fingers because you had grown into a woman who understood that being calm did not mean being careless. Two men stood near the lifts. They were not looking at you directly. That made it worse. Your phone buzzed once.Ā
Unknown Number: Do not use the lift.Ā
YouĀ stopped. The men did not. One of them glanced at you from the corner of hisĀ eye, too quick to be accidental. Your thumb hovered over the message. Your pulse changed, but your face did not. Another message came through.Ā
Unknown Number: Do not use the lift from the car park. Walk to the main lobby. Now.Ā
You looked once at the lift doors. Then you turned. You walked toward theĀ stairsĀ with the measured pace ofĀ someone who had remembered an appointment, notĀ someone whoseĀ spine had gone cold. Behind you, the men moved. Not fast. Not yet. You pushed through theĀ stairwell door and climbed up one level, then another, heelsĀ sharp against concrete. Your phone buzzed again.Ā
Unknown Number:Ā Security desk. Front entrance. Do not look back.Ā
You did not look back. By the time you reached the main lobby, your lungsĀ had tightened and your hand hurt from gripping your keys. TheĀ security desk wasĀ bright, busy, and watched byĀ several cameras. You walkedĀ straight to it and asked, calmly, ifĀ someone could escort you to your car because two men from the lower level had been following you. The guardāsĀ expression changed. The men did not enter the lobby. That told you enough. Later, after a uniformed officer had taken yourĀ statement, after your car had beenĀ searched, after you had been told that perhapsĀ you were understandablyĀ shaken after aĀ stressful hearing, youĀ sat in the driverāsĀ seat with both handsĀ around your phone and typed a reply to the unknown number.Ā
You: ThankĀ you, whoever you are.Ā
For almost two minutes, nothing happened. Then:Ā
Unknown Number: No worries.Ā
YouĀ stared at those two wordsĀ for far longer than they deserved. No name. No explanation. No demand. Just that. No worries. AsĀ if he had notĀ stepped out of nowhere andĀ shifted the direction of your life by inches. AsĀ if inchesĀ were notĀ sometimesĀ the difference between getting home and becoming another file. You did not know yet that the man behind the messagesĀ had noĀ surname. You did not know that people in the undergroundĀ said ghostsĀ did not haveĀ surnames. You did not know that he had been watching corrupted traffic feedsĀ for three days, following tracesĀ of altered evidence backward throughĀ serversĀ that were neverĀ supposed toĀ speak to one another. You only knew he hadĀ seen danger before it reached you. And that night, when another message came telling you not to go home, you listened.Ā
He directed you to aĀ small guesthouse on a quietĀ sideĀ street, the kind of place that did not advertise itself brightly and did not invite questions. There were fewer useful camerasĀ nearby. That wasĀ what heĀ said. Fewer useful cameras, fewer blindĀ spotsĀ for people whoĀ understoodĀ how to use them. YouĀ should have been more frightened by how much he knew. YouĀ should have gone to the police, or your boss, or one of the detectivesĀ assigned to the case. But the police had notĀ seen the men in the car park before he had. He had.Ā SoĀ you went. The older woman at the front desk gave you a key without asking for your card.Ā She only looked at your face for a moment too long, thenĀ said, āSecond floor. Do not use the front door again tonight.āĀ
You paused. āDid heĀ send you?ā Her mouth tightened. āSleep if you can.ā In the room, you locked the door, pushed the chair beneath the handle, turned off your personal phone, andĀ sat on the edge of the bed with your coatĀ still on. The wallpaper wasĀ old. The heating clicked too loudly. Outside,Ā tyresĀ hissed along wet road. For the first time that day, your handsĀ shook. There wasĀ aĀ soft knock at the door thirty-seven minutesĀ later. You did not move until your phone, the one you had turned off, lit up with a message.Ā
Unknown Number: Open the door.Ā She isĀ safe.Ā
You looked through the peephole. The older woman stood there with a paper bag in her hands. Inside was a cheap phone, a charger, a bottle of water, a toothbrush, and a packet of crackers. The phone had one contact saved.Ā Jungkook. You stared at the name. It did not feel real. It felt like a word someone had typed because a ghost needed to pretend to be human. The phone buzzed.Ā
Jungkook: Use this from now on.Ā
YouĀ satĀ slowly on the bed. āAnd if I do not?ā The phone buzzed again.Ā
Jungkook: Then they keep finding you faster than I can.Ā
You did not like the way that answer landed. Not because it wasĀ dramatic. Because it wasĀ practical. You typed back with cold fingers.Ā
You: WhoĀ are you?Ā
Jungkook: Someone with a common enemy.Ā
You: ThatĀ isĀ not an answer.Ā
Jungkook: It is the only one that matters tonight.Ā
YouĀ stared at theĀ screen, your thumb hovering,Ā angerĀ and fear twisting together inside you. āI am not in the habit of trusting anonymousĀ men who know where IĀ sleep.ā The reply came quickly.Ā
Jungkook: Good. Do not start now.Ā
ThatĀ stopped you. Another message followed.Ā
Jungkook: Ask for proof.Ā
Your throat moved.Ā
You: Fine. Prove you are not one of them.Ā
He did not call. He did not tell you to trust him. He did not send some empty reassurance about being safe or protected or chosen by fate. He gave you proof. A file appeared on the phone, then another, then another. Metadata from the altered evidenceĀ NamjoonĀ hadĀ submitted. Access logs. A time stamp discrepancy. A route map showing the men from the car park entering the courthouse twenty minutes before you left. A freeze-frame of one of them near the lift. Then one final message.Ā
Jungkook: They were not there to scare you.Ā
Your mouth went dry.Ā
You: WhatĀ were they there to do?Ā
A long pause.Ā
Jungkook: Move you.Ā
You understood enough. You did not sleep much that night. Every sound in the hallway became a footstep. Every car passing outside became someone waiting. At some point before dawn, you sat on the floor with your back against the bed andĀ read throughĀ the files he had sent you until your eyes burned.Ā When morning came, you called your boss from the clean phone and told him the truth.Ā Not all of it. NotĀ Jungkook. Not yet. But enough.Ā
He went quiet in the way he alwaysĀ did when he wasĀ angry on your behalf. He had been your mentor long before he became your boss; after you lost your family, he had takenĀ you inĀ professionally and emotionally without ever making you feel like a burden. He did not tell you to be brave. He did not tell you to come in. HeĀ said, āWhere are you?ā You looked at theĀ small window,Ā atĀ the pale morning beyond it. āSomewhereĀ safe for now.āĀ
āForĀ nowĀ isĀ not good enough.āĀ
āNo,ā youĀ said. āIt isĀ not.āĀ
There wasĀ aĀ silence, then a long breath. āTell me what you need.ā You closed your eyes. That wasĀ why youĀ hadĀ survivedĀ thisĀ profession asĀ long asĀ you had. Not because theĀ system wasĀ good. Not because the law alwaysĀ worked. BecauseĀ sometimes, rarely,Ā someone inside it cared enough toĀ stand beside you when the groundĀ shifted.Ā
āI need time,ā youĀ said. āAnd I need the court to accept that the evidenceĀ hasĀ toĀ be reviewed properly. NoĀ shortcuts.āĀ
āYou will have both.ā After the call ended, you looked at the clean phone.Ā
You: Why me?Ā
JungkookĀ did not answerĀ immediately. You imagined a man somewhere in a dark room, surrounded by screens, deciding how much truth to give you. You hated that you were imagining him at all. Then the phone buzzed.Ā
Jungkook: Because you hurt them in public.Ā
Another message.Ā
Jungkook: And because if they silence you, they bury the girl with you.Ā
YouĀ swallowed.Ā
You: That isĀ not comforting.Ā
Jungkook: It was not meant to be.Ā
You let out a quiet,Ā humourlessĀ laugh.Ā
You: Do you everĀ say anything normal?Ā
Jungkook: No worries.Ā
YouĀ stared at that and, against every reasonable instinct left in your body, almostĀ smiled. It took two daysĀ for him to tell you what he needed. A dead drop. Your personal phone and laptop had to be removed from your possession, copied, mirrored,Ā stripped, hardened, and rebuilt. HeĀ sent instructionsĀ with the patience ofĀ someone who expected you to question everyĀ step. You did. He answered every question. He never demanded faith. He gave logic, routes, timings, camera angles, alternatives, contingencies.Ā
āYouĀ sound like you do thisĀ often,ā you told him over text,Ā sitting in your office long after the othersĀ had left, the city glowing beyond the windows.Ā
Jungkook: That is not a question.Ā
You: It can be.Ā
Jungkook: Then ask it properly.Ā
You leaned back in your chair, tired enough to be honest. āWhat are you,Ā Jungkook?ā This time, he did not answer for a while. Then:Ā
Jungkook: Useful.Ā
You wanted to be irritated. You were. But beneath that, there was something else. A strange, reluctantĀ steadiness beginning to form around the shape of his presence. Not trust. Not yet. But recognition. You had spent years reading evidence, statements, tone, omission, motive.Ā JungkookĀ was careful. Too careful. ButĀ carefulĀ did not always mean false. Sometimes carefulĀ meantĀ wounded. Sometimes carefulĀ meantĀ experienced. SometimesĀ carefulĀ meant he knew exactly what happened to people who spoke too soon. You left your laptop and phone in a locker at a subway station three nights later. He had chosen the station because it was busy enough to hide in and old enough that half the cameras were badly positioned. You wore a cap, mask, and long coat, your heart loud beneath your ribs. When you walked away, itĀ felt like leavingĀ part of your life behind. Within an hour, the clean phone buzzed.Ā
Jungkook: I have them.Ā
You: And?Ā
Jungkook: You have terrible password habits.Ā
You looked down at your phone, offended despite everything.Ā
You: I am being hunted by a criminalĀ networkĀ and thisĀ isĀ what you choose to criticize?Ā
Jungkook: It is relevant.Ā
You: IĀ hate you.Ā
Jungkook: No, you do not.Ā
You did not answer. He wasĀ correct, which made it worse. For two weeks, you did not go home. You worked from the office,Ā slept badly on the narrowĀ sofa in your mentorāsĀ spare conference room, changed in theĀ staff bathroom, and lived on coffeeĀ so milky it barely deserved the name. The court accepted further forensic review. The prosecution team dug deeper. The detectivesĀ you trusted kept their circleĀ small. Your bossĀ walked you to your car every night even when you told him not to.Ā
JungkookĀ worked without sleeping properly. You could tell from the timestamps. Sometimes he messaged at 3:14 a.m. to ask whether a file named one thing had ever been saved under another. Sometimes he sent you a fragment of code with a note that he had found malware embedded three layers deeper than expected. Sometimes he told you toĀ deleteĀ an email without opening it. Sometimes, at dawn, he sent only:Ā
Jungkook: Route clear. Leave in twelve minutes.Ā
He did notĀ soften things. ThatĀ should have made him harder to like. Instead, hisĀ precision became part of your days. He never told you that you wereĀ safe. He told you what had been checked. He told you what wasĀ clean. He told you what to avoid. He told you when a building entrance had a camera blindĀ spot and when a car had circled twice. He gave you facts, and the factsĀ held. Two weeksĀ after the dead drop, asĀ youĀ sat alone in the office with yourĀ shoesĀ off and your glassesĀ slipping down your nose, the clean phone buzzed.Ā
Jungkook: You can go home now. I made it safe.Ā
You read the message three times. Home. The word did not feel the way it used to.Ā Still, you packed your files, put on yourĀ shoes, and called your bossĀ from the corridor. He did not like it. You could hear that inĀ theĀ silence. But he knew better than to mistake your fearĀ forĀ fragility.Ā
āCall me when you are inside,ā heĀ said.Ā
āI will.āĀ
āAnd ifĀ something feelsĀ wrongāāĀ
āI leave.āĀ
āNo,ā heĀ said. āYou call me and then you leave.āĀ
You closed your eyesĀ briefly. āYes.ā When you reached your penthouse building, every light felt too bright. Every reflection in the glassĀ doorsĀ showed too much behind you. The receptionistĀ smiled in a way that almost made you cry because it wasĀ ordinary and because ordinary had begun to feel like a country you had been exiled from. The clean phone buzzedĀ inĀ your pocket.Ā
Jungkook: Lobby clear. Lift clean. Camera feed stable. Go.Ā
You went. Your penthouse wasĀ exactly asĀ you had left it and not theĀ same at all. The creamĀ sofa. The glassĀ table. The neatĀ shelves. The cityĀ beyondĀ the windows. Your lifeĀ preservedĀ like a museum display while you had been elsewhere learning theĀ shape of threat. YouĀ stood in the doorway for a long time. Then you typed:Ā
You: ThankĀ you.Ā
JungkookĀ answered almostĀ immediately.Ā
Jungkook: Lock the door.Ā
You did. Over theĀ nextĀ weeks, hisĀ messagesĀ became part of your mornings. Route clear. UseĀ southĀ entrance today. Delay five minutes. Do not take the usual road. Leave now.Ā Stay inside. Camera issue on level three. False alarm. You learned the rhythm of hisĀ protection before you learned theĀ shape of hisĀ face. He learned yoursĀ in different pieces. Not through the camerasĀ inside your homeāhe wasĀ careful about that boundary after you made itĀ sharpābut through the way you worked, the casesĀ youĀ sent, the questionsĀ you asked, the fury you folded into polite legal language. HeĀ saw theĀ victimsĀ you refused to reduce toĀ evidence. HeĀ saw how often you asked whether the young woman and her mother wereĀ stillĀ safe before you asked about yourself. He did not compliment you.Ā
HeĀ sent better firewalls. One night, after a brutal day of reviewing hospital connectionsĀ and financial recordsĀ linked to missing-person cases, you missed your 8 p.m. check-in by twenty-six minutes. When youĀ remembered, yourĀ stomach dropped. You called him before texting. He answered on the fourth ring,Ā voice rough withĀ sleep. āAre you hurt?ā It wasĀ the first time youĀ heardĀ him. Low. Tired. Controlled even through the edge ofĀ alarm. HisĀ voice did notĀ sound like theĀ voice of a man whoĀ spent hisĀ life behindĀ screens. ItĀ sounded warm in a way you did not trust yourself to think about for long.Ā
āNo,ā youĀ said quickly. āNo, I am fine. I amĀ sorry. I forgot.ā A pause. āYou forgot.āĀ
āI wasĀ reviewing the hospital donor list.āĀ
āAt eight in the evening.āĀ
āI did notĀ say it wasĀ wise.ā HisĀ exhale came through the line, quiet andĀ strained. āI do not check inside unlessĀ you fail to respond and there isĀ reason to believe you are in danger.ā YouĀ sat backĀ slowly. āYou have not checked?āĀ
āNo.āĀ
āYou could.āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āBut you did not.āĀ
āNo.ā Your throat feltĀ strange. āWhy?āĀ
āBecause accessĀ isĀ not permission.ā You looked acrossĀ your apartment, at the dark reflective windowsĀ and the camerasĀ you had agreed to let himĀ reinforce, andĀ feltĀ somethingĀ loosenĀ painfully in your chest.Ā
āOkay,ā youĀ said.Ā
āOkay?āĀ
āIf I do not answer and you think I am in danger, you can check. Internal cameras. Emergency only.āĀ
āI need a safe word,ā he said.
āA safe word?ā
āSo you can know it is me if I ever have to reach you fast and cannot explain.ā
The idea should have frightened you. Instead, the steadiness of his voice made fear feel like something that could be organized, named, planned around.
You thought for a moment. āPomegranate.ā
Silence.
Then, almost softer, āPomegranate?ā
āIt is hard to say by accident,ā you said. āAnd easy to remember.ā
āThat is very practical.ā
āAlso mythological.ā
A pause.
āHades and Persephone,ā he said.
āYou know it?ā
āI know enough.ā
āThen you know pomegranates come with consequences.ā
Jungkook was quiet long enough that you wondered if he was smiling. You hated wondering that.
āPomegranate,ā he said. āGood.ā
The word became aĀ strange comfort after that. A redĀ seed tucked beneath your tongue. A reminder that even the underworld had rulesĀ if you knew how toĀ speakĀ them.Ā The first real false alarm happened during aĀ storm.Ā Rain beat against the windowsĀ hard enough to blur the city. The lightsĀ in your building flickered once asĀ youĀ stepped into the lift from the underground garage. Your clean phone glitched,Ā screen going black, then bright, then black again.Ā Somewhere above you, during a power transfer, the elevator camera went briefly dark. By the time the doorsĀ opened on your floor, the phone had come back to life withĀ six missed calls. Your heart kicked. You answered theĀ seventh.Ā
āWhy did it take you that long to get upstairs?āĀ JungkookāsĀ voice was calm. Too calm. The kind of calm that had teeth beneath it. YouĀ stepped out of the lift, looking both ways down the corridor. āThe lift did not stop.āĀ
āYour phone went dark.āĀ
āTheĀ screen glitched.āĀ
āThe camera went down.āĀ
āFor how long?āĀ
āToo long.ā You unlocked your door and got inside, chest tight.Ā āJungkook.ā He said nothing.Ā
āI am inside.āĀ
Still nothing. You leaned back against the door. For aĀ second, you could hear only theĀ storm and hisĀ breathing. Then heĀ said,Ā much quieter, āI amĀ seventeen minutesĀ away.ā You closed your eyes. That wasĀ not a reassurance. It wasĀ a confession.Ā Seventeen minutesĀ away meant he had measured the distance. It meant he had thought about the worst thing happening inside that gap. It meant he had builtĀ systemsĀ andĀ still understood that bodiesĀ could move faster than code in the wrong circumstances.Ā
āI am okay,ā youĀ said.Ā
āI do not like okay.āĀ
āI know.ā TheĀ silence changed. You opened your eyes, wincing because you already hated yourself forĀ saying it. āSorry.āĀ
āIt isĀ fine.āĀ
āIt did notĀ sound fine.āĀ
āIt isĀ not useful for me to be anything else.āĀ
You pressed the back of your head against the door and stared at the ceiling. You were learning thatĀ JungkookĀ did not break loudly. He narrowed. MonthsĀ passed inĀ increments of danger and ordinary life.Ā
Court datesĀ moved. FilesĀ multiplied. The youngĀ victim and her mother stayed hidden. More names surfaced, then disappeared behind sealedĀ reports,Ā dead ends, or people suddenly transferred out of departments. A hospital donor connected to the case boarded a private flight. A detective you did not fully trust began asking questions he should not have known to ask. Someone tried to breach your workplace server and foundĀ JungkookĀ waiting like a shadow with teeth. You kept working. So did he. Your life became smaller, but not empty. Your penthouse remained beautiful, expensive, controlled. You still had silk blouses, cream trousers, gold earrings, courtĀ shoes lined neatly near the wardrobe. You still drank coffee too late and highlighted documents in threeĀ colours. You still stood in rooms full of men who underestimated you because you were calm. But now, every morning began with a ghost.Ā
Jungkook:Ā NorthĀ route is bad today. Use the bridge.Ā
You: GoodĀ morning to you too.Ā
Jungkook: It is raining.Ā
You: ThatĀ isĀ not a greeting.Ā
Jungkook: Take an umbrella.Ā
He wasĀ alwaysĀ like that. Practical before kind. Care disguised asĀ instruction. You learned to read the warmth by what he remembered: how you liked your coffee, which entrance made yourĀ shouldersĀ tense, which courtroom had the bad camera angle, howĀ lateĀ wasĀ too late for you toĀ still be working without having eaten. YouĀ started asking aboutĀ himĀ too.Ā
You: HaveĀ you eaten?Ā
Jungkook: Yes.Ā
You: Liar.Ā
Jungkook: That is an accusation.Ā
You: Your timestampsĀ say you were working from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m.Ā
Jungkook: That does not prove I did notĀ eat.Ā
You: Did you?Ā
Three minutesĀ passed.Ā
Jungkook: No.Ā
You: Eat.Ā
Jungkook: Bossy.Ā
You: Accurate.Ā
He did not reply for ten minutes. Then:Ā
Jungkook: Eating.Ā
YouĀ smiled at your desk like an idiot and pretended not to. The day heĀ saw you in the pool wasĀ the day you forgot to tell him your route had changed. Your buildingāsĀ gym wasĀ quiet after courtĀ hours,Ā the pool lit blue andĀ silver beneath the ceiling lights. You had gone down because your body felt like a clenched fist. Because your mind had been full of missing women, medical reports,Ā shell charities, and a photograph of a mother holding the hand of a daughter who had notĀ stoppedĀ shakingĀ since testimony.Ā
YouĀ swam until your armsĀ ached. Then you floated on your back andĀ stared at the ceiling, earsĀ underwater, world muffled. For ten minutes, no one wanted anything from you. No one needed proof. No one needed courage. No one wasĀ asking you to be the face of a fight that wasĀ slowly eating through every ordinary piece of your life. When you got back upstairs, the clean phone wasĀ waiting on the kitchen counter with one message.Ā
Jungkook: Message me when you are back upstairs.Ā
You froze. Then another:Ā
Jungkook: You forgot to update me.Ā
You looked toward the internal camera in the corner of the living room,Ā suddenly aware of your wet hair, bare feet, looseĀ shirt over yourĀ swimsuit.Ā
You: DidĀ you check inside?Ā
Jungkook: No.Ā
YourĀ shouldersĀ lowered.Ā
Jungkook: Gym camera. Then pool.Ā
YouĀ stared at the phone. YouĀ should have felt exposed. Instead, what unsettled you wasĀ theĀ softnessĀ that followed.Ā
Jungkook: You looked peaceful. I waited until you were done.Ā
You read it twice. Then you wrote:Ā
You: I was.Ā
He did not answer for a while. When he did, it wasĀ only:Ā
Jungkook: Good.Ā
You did not know then that somewhere far from your apartment,Ā JungkookĀ had satĀ very still in front of a wall of monitors and watched you float beneath blue light like something the world had not managed to touch. You did not know that, for a few minutes, his mind had gone quiet. You did not know that seeing you safe had felt like peace to him before he had the language to admit why. You only knew he had waited. And, somehow, that mattered. The first time you heard hisĀ voice properly for longer than a crisis was after a work dinner you had not wanted to attend.Ā
It was supposed to be small. A few prosecutors, two detectives, your boss, and one senior consultant who liked the sound of his ownĀ voice enough to fill any silence. The hearing had gone well that week. Not aĀ victory, not yet, but enough progress that everyoneās shoulders had lowered for one evening. You drank more wine than you meant to. Not too much to understand danger. Enough to soften the edges of it. You messagedĀ JungkookĀ from the restroom, leaning against the marble sink with your phone in one hand and your lipstick slightly faded.Ā
You: I may not update properly when I leave.Ā
HisĀ reply came almostĀ immediately.Ā
Jungkook: How many drinks?Ā
You: Rude.Ā
Jungkook: Number.Ā
You: Three.Ā
Jungkook: Actual number.Ā
You frowned at theĀ screen.Ā
You: Four and a half.Ā Maybe fiveĀ if we are counting the one I did not finish.Ā
Jungkook: We are counting it.Ā
You: You are annoying.Ā
Jungkook: I am sending someone.Ā
A man wasĀ waiting outside the restaurant forty minutesĀ later, holding an umbrella in one hand and hisĀ phone in the other. He wasĀ not dressed likeĀ security. That made him betterĀ security. YouĀ stopped beneath the awning. āWhoĀ sent you?ā HisĀ mouth twitched. āHades.ā Your drunk brain took aĀ second. Then you laughed. The man did not ask why. He got you homeĀ safely. He walked you into the lobby, waited until the lift doorsĀ closed, then disappeared before you reached your floor. Inside your penthouse, you kicked off your heels, left your coat on theĀ sofa, and dropped onto the cushionsĀ like your bonesĀ had dissolved. The clean phone rang before you could decide whether the ceiling wasĀ moving. You answered with your eyesĀ closed. āI am alive.āĀ
āYou are drunk.āĀ
āYou are observant.āĀ
āDrink water.āĀ
āBossy.āĀ
āAccurate.ā YouĀ smiled despite yourself, rolling onto yourĀ side. HisĀ voice wasĀ clearer through the phone tonight, low and close, threadedĀ with exhaustion he did not bother hiding.Ā
āJungkook?āĀ
āWhat?āĀ
āAre you handsome?āĀ Silence. Then, flatly, āGo to bed.ā You opened your eyes. āThat isĀ suspicious.āĀ
āIt isĀ practical.āĀ
āNo, it isĀ suspicious. Why doesĀ it matter if I ask?āĀ
āIt doesĀ not.āĀ
āThen answer.ā Another pause.Ā
āQuite the contrary.āĀ YouĀ sat up too quickly and had to grab the arm of theĀ sofa.Ā āQuite the contrary? That isĀ such an annoying thing toĀ say.āĀ
āYou asked.āĀ
āYou could be lying.āĀ
āMy face isĀ not relevant to yourĀ safety.āĀ
āYourĀ voice tellsĀ me otherwise. You are lying.āĀ
āI am hanging up.āĀ
āNo, wait.ā You leaned back,Ā smiling at the ceiling now. āWhy doesĀ it matter if you are handsome or not?āĀ
āIt doesĀ not.āĀ
āIt mattersĀ to me.āĀ
āWhy?āĀ
You closed your eyes, warmthĀ spreading through your face. āI need to haveĀ something to fantasize about.ā TheĀ silence on the other end changedĀ soĀ sharply you felt it through the phone. For one beautiful, wine-softĀ second, you thought you had broken him. Then your phone buzzed. A photo. You opened it. AndĀ stopped breathing. You did not know what you had expected. AĀ shadow, maybe. A blur. A man careful enough to hide even while revealing himself. Instead, he hadĀ sent a photograph taken in low light, face half-turned toward the camera, darkĀ hairĀ slightly messy, mouth unsmiling, eyesĀ soĀ sharp they made your chest tighten. He looked likeĀ someoneĀ the city would forget only because he commanded it to. Beautiful in a way that felt unfair. DangerousĀ in a way that madeĀ sense.Ā
āOh,ā you said softly.Ā JungkookĀ said nothing. You zoomed in before shame could catch you.Ā
āIf I had aĀ voice and a face like you, little lamb,ā you murmured, āI would never shut up about it.āĀ Jungkookās inhale was quiet. Then he said, āDrink water.ā You laughed. āThat is all you have to say?āĀ
āBrush your teeth.āĀ
āYou are impossible.āĀ
āGo to bed.āĀ
āSir, yes,Ā sir.āĀ
This time, the silence was longer. When he spoke again, hisĀ voice had lowered by a fraction. āPlease go to bed. Good night.ā YouĀ wokeĀ the next morning on the sofa with a headache, a dry mouth, andĀ Jungkookās face still open on your phone. For one full minute, you stared at it in horror. Then you remembered what you had said. You dropped the phone onto your chest and covered your face with both hands. āNo.ā The clean phone buzzed against yourĀ sternum. You moved two fingers apart and looked.Ā
Jungkook: Drink water.Ā
You considered throwing yourself off the balcony. Instead, you typed:Ā
You: I amĀ sorry.Ā
Jungkook: No need to apologize.Ā
You stared at the message. Then, against your better judgment, you opened the photo again. He really was too handsome for his own good. The case moved faster after that. OrĀ maybe itĀ only felt that way because everything began breaking at once. The forensic review exposed enough manipulation to damageĀ NamjoonāsĀ submission badly. The young victimās testimonyĀ held. Financial routes began connecting toĀ logisticsĀ companies,Ā private clinics, shell donors, and names that made even seasoned prosecutors go quiet.Ā
At the next major hearing, several men tied to Black LoomāsĀ logisticsĀ chain were taken into custody. Not the whole network. Not yet. But enough that, for one afternoon, the air changed. You walked out of court with your spine straight and your handsĀ steady. Your boss squeezed your shoulder once. The detective at the back gave you a nod that felt like a promise. TheĀ victimās mother held you soĀ tightlyĀ your ribs hurt. You messagedĀ JungkookĀ from the courthouseĀ steps.Ā
You: We got them.Ā
For once, he did not answerĀ immediately. Then:Ā
Jungkook: You wounded them.Ā
YouĀ smiled faintly.Ā
You: ThatĀ soundsĀ like congratulationsĀ in your language.Ā
Jungkook: It is.Ā
YourĀ smile faded asĀ rainĀ began to mist theĀ steps.Ā
Jungkook: Be careful tonight.Ā
You looked up at theĀ darkeningĀ sky. āAlways.ā The judge wasĀ found dead the next morning. Your bossĀ called first,Ā voice hollow. Then the detective fromĀ Violent Crimes,Ā speaking in clippedĀ sentencesĀ that told you more than hisĀ wordsĀ could. The official line forming too quickly wasĀ suicide. The detective did not believe it. You did not either. TheĀ victim and her mother wereĀ stillĀ safe. That wasĀ the first thing you asked. The detective answered before you finished theĀ sentence.Ā
āThey areĀ safe. I checked myself.āĀ
You sat on the edge of your bed, the clean phone in your lap, and felt something cold and enormous move beneath the surface of everything. Black Loom was not a gang.Ā JungkookĀ said it later, after you sent him the details. He had been quiet for a long time, long enough that you knew he was moving through systems you did not have names for.Ā
Jungkook: This is bigger than the men in court.Ā
You: How much bigger?Ā
Jungkook: Hospitals. Donors. Police contacts. Private security. Judges. International routes.Ā
You closed your eyes.Ā
You: Organ trafficking?Ā
The answer came tooĀ slowly.Ā
Jungkook: Yes.Ā
You thought of the bodiesĀ found along mountain paths. The missing organs. The hospital donors.Ā The powerful man whose transplantĀ rumoursĀ everyone dismissed because no one wanted to beĀ sued intoĀ silence. Your hand tightened around the phone.Ā
You: I need names.Ā
Jungkook: You need to stay alive long enough to use them.Ā
After that, the cameras started behaving strangely. One second freezes when youĀ enteredĀ police buildings. Traffic camerasĀ turningĀ too neatly along your route. A lift cameraĀ goingĀ grainy, then clear. A parking garageĀ feedĀ skipping exactly three frames when your carĀ passed.Ā JungkookĀ noticed before anyone else. Of course he did. You were in aĀ policeĀ building reviewing statements when his message came through.Ā
Jungkook: YourĀ steps areĀ being followed.Ā
You looked at the fluorescent hallway, at the officersĀ moving past with paper cupsĀ and tired eyes, at the camera in the corner. You typed:Ā
You: IĀ understand.Ā
Then you put the phone away and walked into the meeting with your face calm. That was the thing about being afraid for long enough. Eventually, fear became another room you learned to work inside. The breach happened onĀ a Thursday. You remembered that because it had been raining all day, the kind of rain that made the city silver and miserable, and because you had thought, absurdly, that you wanted to cook something instead of ordering in. Something normal. Something warm.Ā JungkookĀ cleared your route from work. The building lobby was clean. The lift was clean. The hallway camera was stable. You entered your penthouse, locked the door, and placed your clean phone and laptop on the coffee table before going to change. Your blouse was half-unbuttoned when the lights flickered. Not off. Just once. You stilled. In the living room, the clean phone began ringing. YouĀ stepped toward the bedroom door. Then the cameras went dark.Ā
Far away,Ā JungkookĀ saw every feed from your penthouse black out at once. He did not swear. He did not panic. NotĀ outwardly. He moved. The clean phone and laptop on your coffee table lit up white. Then they died. By the time you reached the living room, there was a thin curl of smoke rising from both devices. Your heart stopped. The apartment was too quiet. Somewhere near the service entrance, something clicked. You backed away slowly, one hand reaching for the nearest heavy object. A glass paperweight. Useless, but better than nothing. Your personal phone was gone. Your clean phone was dead. The cameras were blind. The windows reflected only your own pale face back at you. Then the balcony door shifted. You ran. Not toward the front door. Too obvious. You ran toward the corridor, toward the guest bathroom, because it had no windows and a lockĀ and maybe, ifĀ you were lucky, enough time.Ā
You were not lucky. A darkĀ shape moved from the hall. YouĀ swung the paperweight with both hands. A gloved hand caught your wrist before it connected. You foughtĀ soĀ hardĀ yourĀ shoulder burned. You kicked, twisted, drove your elbow backward, tried toĀ scream, but the figure wasĀ faster,Ā stronger,Ā silent in a way that made terrorĀ split open inside you. He forced you backward, one hand clamping over your mouth, the other locking your wrist, pushing you into the bathroom. You heard yourself make aĀ sound you did not recognize. The doorĀ shutĀ behind you. You tried to bite him. He caught your jaw.Ā
āPomegranate, little lamb.āĀ
EverythingĀ stopped. Not your breathing. That came fast andĀ brokenĀ against hisĀ glove. Not your pulse. That kept trying to tear out of your throat. But the world itself narrowed around those two words.Ā Pomegranate. Little lamb. Your eyesĀ snapped to hisĀ face, but he wasĀ wearing a black mask, hood pulled low, rainwater dark on hisĀ shoulders. HisĀ voice came again, lower now. āIt isĀ me.ā Your kneesĀ almost gave out.Ā
āJungkook?ā He released your mouth slowly but did notĀ step away until he was sure you understood. Even then, one hand stayed near your arm, not gripping now, only ready.Ā
āYouĀ scared me,ā you whispered, and hated howĀ small it came out. HisĀ eyesĀ moved over your face, your throat, your hands, your blouse, theĀ paperweightĀ still on the floor. Checking damage. Counting breaths. Measuring theĀ secondsĀ he had lost.Ā
āI had to get you out ofĀ sight. The apartment isĀ compromised.āĀ
āMy phoneāāĀ
āGone. Laptop too.ā YourĀ stomach dropped. HeĀ saw it and answered before you could ask. āYour filesĀ areĀ safe.ā YouĀ stared at him.Ā
āThe devicesĀ are gone,ā heĀ said. āYour filesĀ areĀ safe.āĀ
Only then did your body begin to shake. Not because of the files. Not really. Because the man who had been aĀ voice, a message, a shadow in your systems, was standing in front of you with rain on his clothes andĀ violence still coiled in his shoulders. Because he had crossed the distance between digitalĀ ghostĀ and flesh in seventeen minutes or less. Because he had saved you and frightened you in the same breath.Ā JungkookĀ looked toward the bathroom door. āWe have to move.āĀ
āHow did they get in?āĀ
āService access.Ā Maybe clonedĀ credentials.Ā MaybeĀ someoneĀ inĀ the building. I will know later.āĀ
āYou will know later?āĀ
āYes.āĀ
The certainty in hisĀ voiceĀ should haveĀ sounded arrogant. ItĀ sounded inevitable. He removed hisĀ jacket and put it aroundĀ yourĀ shouldersĀ without asking. It wasĀ warm from hisĀ body despite the rain. Dark fabricĀ swallowed your half-buttoned blouse, yourĀ shaking hands, the last fragile illusion that your penthouse had ever beenĀ safe. You followed him through your own home like it belonged toĀ someone else. The living roomĀ smelledĀ faintlyĀ of burnt circuitry. The balcony door wasĀ openĀ a fraction. Rain tapped against the glass. Your beautiful apartment, with itsĀ creamĀ sofa and polished floorsĀ and quiet luxury, had become aĀ stage after the audience hadĀ leftĀ and the knivesĀ remained.Ā
JungkookĀ moved through it without wastingĀ a motion. He checked the corridor. The service entrance. The liftĀ feedĀ on a small device in his hand. He guided you through the back route, not the main lift, one hand hovering near your lower back but barely touching unless he had to. In the underground garage, a car waited. You did not ask where heĀ had gotĀ it. You did not ask how many laws he had broken to get to you. For once, you were too tired to ask the correct questions. Only when the building disappeared behind you, swallowed by rain andĀ distance,Ā did you look at him properly. He had removed the mask. The photo had notĀ lied. If anything, itĀ hadĀ been merciful.Ā
In person,Ā JungkookĀ was more difficult to look at because he was real. Dark hair damp from the rain, jaw tense, eyes fixed on the road with an intensity that made the air inside the car feel charged. He was dressed in black, not stylishly, not carelessly, but like someone who had never wanted to be seen and had dressed accordingly. You should have said thank you. Instead, what came out was, āYou are taller than I thought.ā His fingers tightened briefly on theĀ steering wheel. Then, after a pause, āThat is what you want to say right now?ā You looked out at the rain-blurred city and let out a breath that wasĀ nearly aĀ laugh andĀ nearly somethingĀ worse. āI am in shock.āĀ
āThat isĀ fair.āĀ
āAnd you broke into my apartment.āĀ
āI entered through a compromised accessĀ point.āĀ
āThat isĀ aĀ very criminal way to phrase that.āĀ
āI am aĀ very criminal person.āĀ
You turned your head back toward him. He did not smile. That was the first timeĀ JungkookĀ told you the truth plainly, without softening it into usefulness. He was not a police contact. Not a private investigator. Not a clean informant with a badge waiting somewhere. He was the thing criminals feared only after everything they owned started collapsing around them. A ghost in the system. And now you were in his car, wearing his jacket, leaving behind the last place that had belonged only to you.Ā
āWhere are we going?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā
āMy house.āĀ
You did not ask if it was safe. You knew he would not take you there if it was not.Ā Jungkookās house did not look like the home of a ghost. That was the first thing that hurt. You had expected concrete, glass, black walls, screens glowing in every room, somethingĀ sterile and expensiveĀ and impossible to understand. Instead, he drove into a quietĀ neighbourhoodĀ where the streets wereĀ narrowĀ and old trees bent over garden walls. His house sat behind a gate with chipped paint and warm lights glowing behind rain-streaked windows.Ā It looked lived in. ItĀ looked like a place someone had once loved.Ā
Inside, the air smelled faintly of wood, dust, clean laundry, and coffee. There were shelves that did not match, a worn sofa, a kitchen table with scratches along one edge, a hallway where shoes had once gathered in pairs. It was not polished like your penthouse. It was not designed to impress anyone. It was warmer than it should have been.Ā JungkookĀ locked the door behind you, then checked two systems near the entrance.Ā He did not touch you again until he had to guide you down the hall.Ā
āYou can take the bedroom,ā heĀ said. āBathroomĀ isĀ acrossĀ from it. TowelsĀ are in the cabinet. I will get you clothes.ā You looked at him. āWhere will youĀ sleep?āĀ
āI will not.āĀ
āJungkook.āĀ
He glanced at you. YouĀ stopped. HisĀ face wasĀ too controlled. That wasĀ the problem. Not cold. Not indifferent. ControlledĀ so tightly that you couldĀ see theĀ strain only because, by then, you hadĀ spent monthsĀ learning how he hid care insideĀ logistics.Ā
āOkay,ā youĀ saidĀ softly. āShow me the room.āĀ
The bedroom wasĀ simple. CleanĀ sheets. A heavy blanket. CurtainsĀ drawn over the dark window.Ā A lampĀ alreadyĀ turned on. On the chair near the wardrobe, he placed a folded black hoodie andĀ sweatpantsĀ that looked too large for you.Ā
āI need to check the perimeter,ā heĀ said. āThen rebuild your phone accessĀ and contact your bossĀ through aĀ safe route.ā You nodded. He hesitated at the door. It wasĀ soĀ smallĀ you almost missed it.Ā
āDo not go into the workroom yet,ā heĀ said. āIt isĀ not about you. It isĀ sensitive.ā The honesty of that wasĀ stranger than a lie would have been.Ā
āAll right.āĀ
āIf you need me, call out.ā You held hisĀ jacket tighter around yourself. āWill you hear me?āĀ
āYes.āĀ
He left. YouĀ showered with the bathroom door locked, though you knew locksĀ meant lessĀ than they used to. You put on hisĀ clothes. The hoodieĀ swallowed your handsĀ andĀ smelled faintly like him beneath laundry detergent and rain. Not cologne. NotĀ smoke.Ā Something warm, impossible, alive.Ā Summer. YouĀ sat on the edge of the bed afterward andĀ stared at nothing until your eyesĀ burned. Your penthouseĀ wasĀ gone. Not physically. You knew the buildingĀ stillĀ stood, the furnitureĀ still arranged, the cityĀ stillĀ visible from those tall windows. But it wasĀ no longer yoursĀ in the way a placeĀ stopped being yoursĀ once fear entered before you did.Ā
Your old life had not ended with a gunshot or a scream. It had ended with a camera feed going black. There was a soft knock on the door. You looked up.Ā JungkookĀ stood in the hall with a glass of water in one hand and a phone in the other. No mask now. No jacket. Just black clothes, damp hair, tired eyes, and a stillness that belonged to someone who had spent too long surviving by becoming difficult to read.Ā
āI need to call your boss,ā heĀ said. āYou canĀ speak to him. I will route it.āĀ
You took the phone. Your bossĀ answeredĀ onĀ the first ring. The moment you heard hisĀ voice,Ā something inĀ you gaveĀ way. NotĀ completely. You did notĀ sob. You did not collapse. But your face crumpled for oneĀ second before you pulled yourself back together.Ā
āI amĀ safe,ā youĀ said first. Your bossĀ wentĀ silent. Then he exhaled in a way that made you realize how frightened he had been.Ā
āWhere are you?āĀ
āWithĀ someone who can protect me.āĀ
āThat isĀ not an answer.āĀ
āNo,ā you said, glancing atĀ Jungkook. āBut it is the safest one I have.āĀ JungkookĀ looked away first. Your boss did not like it. You knew him tooĀ wellĀ not to hear that. But he trusted your judgment more than his fear, which was why you trusted him in return.Ā
āYou work remotely,ā heĀ said. āNo court appearances. No office. Not until we know what happened.āĀ
āI canĀ still help.āĀ
āI did not ask whether you could. I told you what isĀ going to happen.āĀ
Despite everything, you almost smiled.Ā JungkookĀ raised an eyebrow, as if he could hear enough to understand. You looked down. āYes, sir.ā After the call,Ā JungkookĀ took the phone back and ended theĀ routedĀ line. Your handsĀ wereĀ steadier now.Ā
āThank you,ā youĀ said.Ā
āYou alreadyĀ said that.āĀ
āThen hear it twice.ā You looked at him fully. āYouĀ saved my work. The files. The case.āĀ
āIĀ saved your life.āĀ
āYouĀ saved both.ā YourĀ voice grew quieter. āYou do not understand what those filesĀ mean.āĀ
āI do.āĀ
āNo. You understandĀ systems. You understand data.ā You tightened your fingersĀ around the glassĀ of water. āBut I am the one whoĀ hasĀ toĀ stand in court and make people listen. I am the one whose full name isĀ attached to every argument. Every challenge. Every accusation. If those filesĀ were gone, if the chain of evidenceĀ wasĀ damaged, if they couldĀ say I wasĀ carelessāāĀ
āThey cannot.ā You stopped.Ā JungkookāsĀ voice had not risen. It did not need to.Ā
āThey cannot,ā he repeated. āEverything wasĀ mirrored before I triggered the burn. Forensic images. Metadata. OriginalĀ structures. AccessĀ logs. I have them.āĀ
YouĀ stared at him, and the room blurred for a moment. HeĀ shifted, uncomfortable beneath gratitude. āYou are the face of this. I understand that. But I canĀ stand behind you. I can give you everything I have from the dark.ā There it was. Not a promise. A position. You were the face. He wasĀ theĀ shadow. And for the first timeĀ since the car park, you felt theĀ shape of what the two of you could become if the world kept forcing you together. Not trust. Not yet. ButĀ something with teeth.Ā Something that couldĀ survive beingĀ afraid. You took a breath.Ā
āThen we keep going.āĀ JungkookĀ looked at you for a longĀ moment. Then he nodded once.Ā
āWe keep going.āĀ
The first quiet stretch after danger never felt peaceful. YouĀ slept in hisĀ bed while heĀ satĀ somewhere beyond the closed door and rebuilt the world around you inĀ silence.Ā AndĀ somewhere deep in the city, Black Loom began to realize that the woman they had failed to move had not been alone at all.Ā She had found a ghost. OrĀ maybe theĀ ghost had found her. Either way, the dark had answered.Ā
For the first few days insideĀ Jungkookās house, you learned the shape of captivity when it was built by someone trying to keep you alive.Ā
It did not look like chains. It looked like coffee placed beside your laptop before you asked for it. It looked like a blanket folded over the back of the sofa because you had fallen asleep there once and woken shivering. It looked like a black phone that never left your reach, a laptop hardened so tightly it felt less like a device and more like a locked room, and a man who moved through his own house as if every window, camera, sensor, lock, and shadow had to answer to him before he could breathe.Ā JungkookĀ did not tell you that you could not leave. That would have been easier to hate. Instead, he gave youĀ facts. The penthouse had been compromised. The building staffĀ could notĀ be fully cleared yet. The service entrance credentials had been cloned orĀ purchased. Black Loom had seen enough to know your home was reachable andĀ possibly enoughĀ to know someone else had intervened. Until he knew exactly how much they knew, you were not safe outside controlled movement.Ā
āI do not guessĀ with your life,ā heĀ said when you argued on the fourth day.Ā
You wereĀ standing in hisĀ kitchen wearing one of hisĀ hoodies, your hair tied messily back, your laptop open on the table between you. You hadĀ spent the morning reading witnessĀ statementsĀ until your eyesĀ stung, and the wallsĀ of hisĀ warm old house hadĀ started to feel like they were moving closer one inch at a time.Ā
āI am not asking you to guess,ā youĀ said. āI am asking you to let meĀ step outside for ten minutes.āĀ
HisĀ face did not change, but you had alreadyĀ started learning theĀ smallest waysĀ he tightened. TheĀ stillnessĀ at hisĀ shoulders. The pause before he answered. The way hisĀ eyesĀ moved to the nearest window and back to you asĀ if he couldĀ see danger through plaster, brick, glass, distance.Ā
āYou can be angry with me,ā heĀ said. āYou can hate the house. You can hateĀ the cameras. You can hate that I am the person telling you this. But I am not opening a door until I know what isĀ behind it.āĀ
You wanted to snap at him. You wanted to tell him that your life had not belonged to Black Loom before, and it would not belong to him now, even in protection. But then he pushed a folder across the table. Inside were stills from the service corridor outside your penthouse. A blank patch in the building log. A cloned access card. A man looking up toward a camera a second before the feed died. Your anger did not disappear. It lost its footing.Ā JungkookĀ leaned back, giving you space without leaving the room. āI can show you every reason. Every time.ā You looked down at the images, throat tight. āThat is not the problem.āĀ
āI know.ā You lifted your eyes. HeĀ seemed to realizeĀ what he hadĀ said a moment too late, mouth closing around whatever came next. You let it passĀ because hisĀ face looked tired enough already.Ā
āThe problem,ā youĀ said quietly, āisĀ that I had a life.ā HisĀ gaze lowered.Ā
āI had a home. I hadĀ routines. I hadĀ terribleĀ takeaway from the place near work because the delivery driver knew my building code. I had a barista who knew my coffee order. I had a pool downstairsĀ andĀ sunlight through the windowsĀ in the morning. Now everyĀ simple thingĀ hasĀ toĀ be checked, cleared,Ā secured,Ā permittedĀ by threat level, and I am grateful because I know you are keeping me alive, but I am also angry because I did not choose any of this.āĀ
JungkookĀ did not interrupt you. He did not defend himself. He stood across from you in black clothes, with one hand resting near the edge of theĀ table, andĀ listened as if every word mattered more because it hurt.Ā
āI am not angry at you,ā youĀ said.Ā
āYou can be.āĀ
āI am not,ā you repeated. āBut I need toĀ say it aloud before it becomesĀ something ugly.āĀ
He nodded once. āThenĀ say it aloud whenever you need to.ā That wasĀ theĀ strange cruelty of him. He made it difficult to resent him because he never tried to own theĀ suffering hisĀ protection could not prevent. He did not pretend the house wasĀ freedom. He did not call confinementĀ safety and expect you to thank him for the name change.Ā He only built the wallsĀ asĀ carefully asĀ he could andĀ stood there while you hated them.Ā SoĀ youĀ stayed.Ā
You worked from his living room while he disappeared into the workroom at the end of the hall, the one room he had asked you not to enter. You learned its sounds before you saw its insides: the low hum of machines, the soft rhythm of keys, the occasional quietĀ voice when he spoke to someone through an encrypted call. Sometimes, past midnight, you wouldĀ wakeĀ on the sofa and see a thin line of blue-white light beneath the door, proof thatĀ JungkookĀ had not slept. He made terrible coffee for himself and perfect coffee for you. That annoyed you more than it should have.Ā
āYou do know you are allowed to drinkĀ something that tastesĀ good,ā you told him one morning, watching himĀ swallow coffeeĀ so black it looked punitive. He glanced at your cup. āYoursĀ tastesĀ good.āĀ
āYou made mine.āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āSo why do you hate yourself?ā HisĀ mouth almost moved. Almost. Then he looked back at hisĀ screen. āI do not hate myself. I am efficient.āĀ
āYou are drinking punishment.āĀ
āYou are dramatic before nine.āĀ
āYou are drinking punishment before nine.āĀ
He said nothing, but the next morning his coffee had milk in it. You did not comment. He knew you noticed anyway. Your boss checked in every day at first, then every other day when he realized you were still working more than resting. He did not ask forĀ Jungkookās name. You suspected he wanted to. You also suspected that if you gave it to him, he would quietly run every legal and illegal check he could get away with, then hate whatever he found and still accept that you were safer here than anywhere else.Ā
The case did not slow just because your life had narrowed. If anything, Black Loomās shape became clearer onceĀ JungkookĀ had you close enough to work without delay. You sent him court filings, financial notes, names from evidence logs, and half-formed theories. He sent back routes, metadata, bank structures, hidden ownership links, and sometimes only a single line that made your stomach drop. Hospital donor again. Same shell charity. Do not open that attachment. Police contact is dirty.Ā JudgeĀ was not suicide. Those were the worst words.Ā JudgeĀ was not suicide. You had known it, but knowing and seeing proof were different cruelties.Ā JungkookĀ did not send everything at once. He had learned, somehow, when proof wouldĀ steady you and when it would bury you. That frightened youĀ almost asĀ much as it comforted you. Two weeks became three. Then four. Then six.Ā
You started measuring time by theĀ waysĀ the house accepted you. A mug you used more than the others stayed on the dish rack instead of being put away. Your case folders spread across half theĀ living-roomĀ table. Your blazer hung beside his black coat near the door. A spare charger appeared near the sofa because you alwaysĀ forgotĀ yours in the bedroom.Ā JungkookĀ noticed everything. He never made a show of it. The only thing he refused to give you was the outside world. By the seventh week, you felt the lack of sunlight beneath your skin. It was theĀ morningĀ the envelope arrived at your workplace. Your boss called first. He did not describe it over the phone. That told you enough. HisĀ voice had goneĀ veryĀ careful, the way people sounded when they had chosen each word before speaking because the wrong one might break something.Ā
āWhat happened?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā JungkookĀ was already standing on the other side of the living room,Ā watchingĀ your face. Your boss exhaled. āA package came for you.ā Your fingers tightened around the phone. āFrom Black Loom?āĀ
āWe believeĀ so.āĀ
āWhat was inside?āĀ JungkookĀ crossed the room silently and stopped beside you, not touching, only there. Your boss said your name once, softly, and that frightened you more than an answer would have.Ā
āWhat wasĀ inside?āĀ youĀ repeated.Ā
āA finger.ā The room lost sound. For a moment, you could see only the pale wall across from you andĀ Jungkookās shadow stretching along it.Ā
āTheĀ victim and her mother?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā
āThey are safe,ā your boss saidĀ immediately. āI checked. They are safe.ā Your knees almost gave out.Ā Jungkookās hand closed around your elbow before you hit the table. Not gripping hard. Not pulling. Just anchoring.Ā
āThere wasĀ a note,ā your bossĀ continued, each word heavy. āāIf you do notĀ stop, they will keep coming.āāĀ
You closed your eyes. That wasĀ the point. Not only to threaten you. To make you feel responsible for every piece ofĀ violence they created. To turn your compassion into aĀ weaponĀ they could aim back at your chest.Ā
āSend everything to theĀ secure channel,ā youĀ said. YourĀ voiceĀ sounded calmer than you felt.Ā
āYou do not need to look at it.āĀ
āYes, I do.ā Your bossĀ wentĀ quiet.Ā
āI need to know who it belongsĀ to.āĀ
Jungkookās hand did not leave your arm. When the images came through, he did not let them appear on your laptop first. He opened them on his own device, face cold, eyes moving over details with the precision of someone separating horror from evidence. Then he looked at you.Ā
āYou do not have to.āĀ
āI do.āĀ
He watched you for aĀ second longer, thenĀ turnedĀ theĀ screen. You knew the finger before the forensic markersĀ finished telling you why. Not because youĀ had knownĀ hisĀ handsĀ well. YouĀ hadĀ not. You had met him twice,Ā maybe threeĀ times, a young man barely older than theĀ victim you were protecting,Ā shaking in an interview room while pretending he wasĀ not afraid.Ā Small-timeĀ fraud.Ā ScamĀ routes.Ā Dark-webĀ access. A boy who had triedĀ very hardĀ to act like a criminal because acting like one wasĀ safer than admitting he had been cornered by them. You had told him once that leaving early wasĀ the only chance men like him got. HeĀ had laughed. Then heĀ hadĀ stoppedĀ laughing when youĀ said hisĀ name.Ā
āHe tried to leave,ā you whispered.Ā Jungkookās eyes sharpened.Ā
āHe tried to leave, and theyĀ sent him to me because he had no family.ā Your throat closed around the last word. āTheyĀ sent him to me because I warned him.āĀ
JungkookĀ turned the screen away. You pressed both hands over your mouth, not to stop yourself from crying, but to stop yourself from making a sound Black Loom did not deserve to hear even in memory. That afternoon,Ā JungkookĀ did something he had refused to do for weeks. He took you outside.Ā
āI missed the sun,ā you said.Ā JungkookĀ went still. You opened your eyes. āI am not complaining.āĀ
āI did notĀ say you were.āĀ
āI need toĀ say that too.ā HisĀ gazeĀ stayed on you.Ā
āI know why IĀ have toĀ stay hidden. I know why the house is safer. I know what you are doing for me.ā You looked down into your coffee. āBut I missed the sun. I missed ordering coffee from someone who did not know my threat level. I missed walking somewhere because I wanted to, not because the route had been cleared.āĀ JungkookāsĀ voice was quiet. āI am sorry.ā You shook your head. āDo not apologize for keeping me alive.āĀ
āI can apologize for what alive costs.āĀ
That hurt more than you wanted it to. You looked at him then, really looked. He wasĀ wearing a black cap pulled low, a mask covering half hisĀ face, dark clothesĀ loose on hisĀ frame. Even hidden, he wasĀ too noticeable ifĀ someone knew what to look for. Not because he wasĀ loud. BecauseĀ stillnessĀ had aĀ shape around him. Because hisĀ attention changed the air.Ā
āI know,ā heĀ said, thenĀ seemed to catch himself. HisĀ eyesĀ lowered. āYou would not be you if you did.ā YouĀ smiled faintly. āThat wasĀ almost a compliment.āĀ
āIt wasĀ accurate.āĀ
āSame thing from you.āĀ
The corner of his eye creased slightly above the mask. You took that as aĀ victory.
Rain kept moving down the windows long after the house went quiet and a nightmare found you. It was not dramatic at first. That made it worse. You dreamed of court filings and coffee cups, of a young man laughing in an interview room, of his hands folded on the table. Then one finger was missing. Then all the lights in the room went red. Then his mouth opened and nothing came out except Black Loomās note, folded over and over until the paper becameĀ skin. YouĀ wokeĀ screaming.Ā JungkookĀ reached your room with a bat in one hand andĀ murder inĀ his eyes. He stopped only when he saw you upright in bed, sheets twisted around yourĀ legs,Ā one hand pressed to your chest as if you were trying to hold your heart in place. The bat lowered. You stared at him, breathing in broken pieces. Then you broke too.Ā
You moved before pride could stop you, before adulthood, professionalism, anger, dignity, fear, any of it could rebuild the wall. You stumbled out of bed and into his arms.Ā JungkookĀ caught you like he had been waiting to fall with you. His body went rigid for half a second, then his free hand came around your back, the bat hitting the floor with a dull sound behind him. You buried your face against his chest and shook so hard it hurt. He did not tell you to calm down. He did not tell you it was only a nightmare. He held you with one arm around your back and the other hand cradling the back of your head, keeping you there as if the worldĀ would haveĀ to go through him to reach you.Ā
āHe tried to leave,ā youĀ saidĀ intoĀ hisĀ shirt. āI told him to leave and he tried, and theyāāĀ
āYou did not cut off hisĀ finger.āĀ
āTheyĀ sent him to me.āĀ
āThey chose to hurt him.āĀ
āBecause of me.āĀ
āBecause of them.ā YouĀ shook your head, but he held you tighter, not enough to trap, enough to insist.Ā
āListen to me,ā heĀ said. āThe blame belongsĀ to the hand holding the knife.ā You closed your eyes. HisĀ heart wasĀ beating hard beneath your cheek. Not asĀ calm asĀ hisĀ voice.Ā Not even close.Ā
āI keep thinking,ā you whispered, āif I had done more, if I had pushed harder, if I had protected himāāĀ
āYou cannot protect everyone before they let you.āĀ
The words landed too gently to be cruel. That was why theyĀ hurt. You cried until the firstĀ violence of it passed, until the room came back in pieces: the lamp, the sheets, the fallen bat,Ā Jungkookās hand moving slowly over your back. His shirt smelled faintly of laundry, coffee, and that impossible warmth you had begun to associate with him. SummerĀ inĀ the dark.Ā
āI can make tea,ā heĀ said eventually. You almost laughed. It came out broken. āOf course you can.āĀ
āIt helps.āĀ
āYou alwaysĀ say that like a man who needsĀ evidence for kindness.āĀ
He did not answer. You pulled back enough to look at him. He looked younger in the bedroom light, orĀ maybe onlyĀ more tired. HisĀ hair wasĀ messy fromĀ sleepĀ heĀ had clearly barely reached before youĀ screamed. HisĀ eyesĀ moved over your face carefully.Ā
āWill youĀ stay?āĀ youĀ asked. The question changedĀ something. You felt it in the air before heĀ spoke.Ā
āYes.āĀ
HeĀ stayed. Not in a way that asked anything of you. Not in a way that turned comfort into debt. He picked up the bat,Ā set it near the door, brought water instead of tea because your handsĀ wereĀ stillĀ shaking, andĀ sat on the edge of the bed until you lay down again. When you reached for him, he wentĀ still. Then he lay beside you on top of the blanket, fullyĀ clothed,Ā one arm carefully beneath your head only after you moved closer first. You rested your forehead against hisĀ shoulder and closed your eyes.Ā
āAre you going toĀ sleep?āĀ youĀ murmured.Ā
āNo.āĀ
āWhy?āĀ
āBecause you need to.āĀ
You were too tired to argue. The last thing you remembered before sleep took you again was his hand, light andĀ steady over your hair, and the sense that he was watching the door even in the dark. By morning, something had shifted. Not enough to name. Enough that neither of you joked about it. The nightmare had brought back more than grief. It had brought back a name, a route, and a fragment of something the young man had once said before fear swallowed him. A place where people went when they wanted to disappear from Black Loom and often never returned. You gave it toĀ JungkookĀ over coffee, still wearing his hoodie, yourĀ voice hoarse from crying. He listened without interrupting. Then he stood.Ā
āI cannot do thisĀ part alone from here.ā You looked up. āWhat part?āĀ
āAll of it.āĀ
That was how he took you to Haven. The building looked like nothing. That was the firstĀ signĀ it was important. A low industrial structure tucked behind delivery routes and old concrete, no sign, no obvious security, noĀ visible reason anyone would look twice.Ā JungkookĀ drove through two route changes, one parking swap, and an underground entrance that opened only after he sent a sequence from a device that looked older than it should have. Inside, Haven was not the dramatic lair you might have imagined. It was fluorescent lights, concrete floors, screens, cables, coffee cups, people in hoodies, people in suits, quiet conversations, tension layered beneath routine. It looked like a workplace built by people who did not have the luxury of being legal. Then someone looked up. The manās expression changed.Ā
āJungkook.āĀ
One word. The roomĀ stilled. Chairs scraped back. Conversations died mid-sentence. People stood, one after another, as if the name itself had pulled a wire through the room. Some bowed their heads. Some lowered their eyes. A few looked genuinely afraid. You turned toĀ Jungkook. He did not look powerful. That was the frightening part. He looked uncomfortable. His jaw tightened, eyes fixed ahead as if he wanted to get through the moment quickly. YouĀ had knownĀ he was dangerous. You had known he hadĀ reach, skill, access, enemies. But you had not understood until then that there were people who did not just work with him. TheyĀ answered toĀ him. The ghost had a kingdom after all. A man approached from the far side of the room, older than most of the others, sharp-eyed, calm, with the posture of someone who had survived long enough to stop wasting movement.Ā
āV,āĀ JungkookĀ said.Ā VĀ looked at you first, then atĀ Jungkook, then back at you.Ā
āSoĀ this is her.āĀ JungkookāsĀ voiceĀ cooled. āCareful.āĀ Vās mouth twitched as if he was not offended. āI meant no disrespect.āĀ
āYou rarely do by accident.āĀ
That almost made someone nearby smile, though they hid it quickly.Ā JungkookĀ turnedĀ toĀ the room. He did not raise hisĀ voice much. He did not need to. āBlackĀ Loom. Full structure. All active Korean routes. Hospital channels. Donor networks. Police contacts. Judges. Shell charities. Organ movement.Ā Missing-personĀ overlap. Anything tied to the man whose finger they sent her.ā A woman at the nearest desk looked up sharply. āWhich part of Black Loom?āĀ Jungkookās face wentĀ very still.Ā
āAll of them.āĀ
The room changed again. Not fear this time. Focus. Screens shifted. People sat. Hands moved overĀ keyboards. Someone rolled a chair to another station.Ā VĀ turned to a wall monitor and began giving instructions with quiet authority. You stood besideĀ JungkookĀ with your coat still on and realized that this was what happened when the ghost asked for war. Everyone stopped what they were doing and reached for a blade.Ā VĀ returned after a few minutes with a black laptop and phone. He held them out to you with both hands.Ā
āFor you,ā he said. āVeniĀ VidiĀ ViciĀ hardware. Secure. Clean. Daily intelligence access will be routed through me untilĀ JungkookĀ says otherwise.āĀ
You looked atĀ Jungkook. He nodded. You took them. āThank you.āĀ VĀ studied your face, then did something you did not expect. He bowed. Not like the room had bowed toĀ Jungkook. This was different. Less fear. More respect.Ā
āThank you, maāam.āĀ
You froze.Ā VĀ turnedĀ slightly toward the room and raised hisĀ voice enough to carry. āFor those who do not know, thisĀ isĀ the lawyer who put Black LoomāsĀ hyenasĀ behind barsĀ last week.ā A few headsĀ turned. ThenĀ someone clapped once.Ā Someone else joined.Ā
Within seconds, the sound spread across Haven, not loud enough to be careless, but warm enough to make your throat tighten. People who had bowed toĀ JungkookĀ now looked at you with something like recognition. Not because you were with him. Because you had wounded the sameĀ monsterĀ they had been hunting from the dark. You blinked hard.Ā JungkookĀ did not look at you. That was how you knew he understood.Ā VĀ gestured toward a side table. āThe judgeās killer is tied to the same man moving the Jane Does through hospital channels. He is careful.Ā Violent.Ā We have partial lists of potential futureĀ victims, but some names are coded.Ā Tomorrow, maybe, weĀ can give you more.āĀ
āGive me what you have,ā you said.Ā Vās eyebrow lifted slightly. You met his gaze. āPlease.ā He smiled, just barely. āI see why he likes you.āĀ JungkookĀ went colderĀ besideĀ you. āV.āĀ
āIĀ said likes. NotĀ loves. Relax.āĀ
The room becameĀ veryĀ interestedĀ in pretending not toĀ hear.Ā You looked down at the laptop because your face had betrayed you enough for one day.Ā JungkookĀ said nothing. But the drive back to his house was quieter than usual.Ā
Outside, Seoul kept glowing as if nothing had changed; you worked at his kitchen table withĀ VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici filesĀ openĀ on the new laptop,Ā reading throughĀ names, routes, medical notes,Ā missing-personĀ overlaps, and scraps of code.Ā JungkookĀ stood behind your chair once to point out a connection between a shell donor and a hospital board member. He was close enough that you felt the warmth of him along your back, close enough that his hand braced on the table beside yours. Neither of you moved for a second. Then heĀ stepped away. You kept reading. That became the rhythm: evidence, restraint, coffee, danger, silence.Ā The next day,Ā JungkookĀ cleared a controlledĀ visit to your penthouse so you could collect more clothes and personal documents.Ā He did not like it. You knew that because he checked the building feeds nine times before breakfast and spoke even less than usual.Ā
āThe building looksĀ clear,ā heĀ said finally. āClear enough for a controlledĀ visit. Not long.āĀ
āWill you come with me?ā He looked at you asĀ if the question had offended him. YouĀ smiled faintly. āI wanted to hear youĀ say it.āĀ
āI am coming with you.āĀ
The receptionist nearly cried whenĀ sheĀ saw you.Ā She tried not toĀ show it, which made it worse.Ā She gave you the accumulated mail with trembling handsĀ and told youĀ she wasĀ glad you were all right. You thanked her. Upstairs, your penthouse looked untouched. You hated it for that.Ā
JungkookĀ moved through the rooms with quiet efficiency, checking corners,Ā vents, feeds, door sensors. You packed clothes with fast hands: blazers, silk blouses, trousers, underthings, shoes, the burgundy dress you had not worn in months, aĀ jewelleryĀ pouch, a framed photograph you did not let yourself look at for too long. Then you opened the mail. Most of it was useless. Bills. Invitations. Legal notices. Thick envelopes from institutionsĀ tryingĀ to look more important than they were. One envelope sat near the bottom. Heavy paper. No return address. Red wax seal. You did not touch it at first.Ā JungkookĀ appeared beside you as if the change in your breathing had called him. His eyes went to the seal.Ā
āBlack Loom,ā heĀ said. You looked up. āYou areĀ sure?āĀ
āYes.āĀ
ThisĀ time, he did not tellĀ you notĀ to open it. You broke the wax. Inside wasĀ an invitation. Elegant. Expensive. Polite enough to make yourĀ skin crawl. A formal celebration in a grand ballroom, hosted through a charity board tied to one of the hospital donorsĀ you had flagged two daysĀ earlier. No threats. No blood. NoĀ severedĀ finger. Just your name printed beautifully onĀ thickĀ card, asĀ if they were inviting you to dinner rather than pulling you toward the mouth ofĀ something. You read it twice. Then you laughed once, quietly, withoutĀ humour.Ā
āThey want me to know they are not hiding.āĀ Jungkookās jaw tightened.Ā
āThey want toĀ see who isĀ protecting you,ā heĀ said. āThey want to test how much you know. They want you inside their roomĀ so they can remind you how many powerful peopleĀ stand between them and consequence.āĀ
The word came out so fast it almost startled both of you. You turned.Ā JungkookĀ stoodĀ very still, but the air around him had sharpened.Ā āNo,ā he said again, quieter. You held the invitation between two fingers. āYou do not get to decide before I explain.āĀ
āI know why you want to go.āĀ
āThen let meĀ say it.āĀ
His mouth closed. You looked down at the invitation, then back at him. āI want to show them I am not hiding. I am not the one caught in a web of crimes and deaths.āĀ Jungkookās eyes moved over your face as if heĀ wasĀ searching for fear and finding something worse. Conviction.Ā
āThey will not attack you there,ā heĀ said. āNot physically. It isĀ too public. Too many eyes. That isĀ not what worriesĀ me.āĀ
āI know.āĀ
āThey will make it beautiful. They will make it polite. They will put monstersĀ under chandeliersĀ and dare you to call them what they are.āĀ
āI know.āĀ
āThey will watch you breathe.āĀ
YouĀ stepped closer. āThen let them.ā
His expression changed, not much, but enough. You had seen him in the dark of your bathroom with a mask on. You had seen him in his kitchen making coffee like care was a problem to be solved. You had seen a room full of dangerous people bow to him. But this was different. This wasĀ JungkookĀ faced with the one thing he could notĀ firewall: your will. He could build walls around your body. He could not make you smaller without becoming another prison. He looked away first.Ā
āIf you go,ā heĀ said, āI go.ā Your heart didĀ something foolish.Ā
āJungkookāāĀ
āIf you go, I go.āĀ
āThey may know your face.āĀ
āThey may.āĀ
āThey may be looking for you.āĀ
āThen they can look.āĀ
āThat isĀ not a plan.āĀ
āNo,ā heĀ said. āIt isĀ a condition.āĀ YouĀ stared at him, anger and tendernessĀ and fear knotting together until you could notĀ separate one from the other.Ā
āYou areĀ very difficult.āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āI have noticed.āĀ
āI assumed.ā The absurdity of it almost made you laugh. Almost. You placed the invitation back on the table. The broken red wax looked like blood against the polishedĀ surface.Ā
āFine,ā you said. āWe go together.āĀ JungkookĀ looked at the invitation, then at you.Ā
āTogether,ā he agreed.Ā
Hours later, the city had gone quiet, but Jungkook had not, the red invitation sat between you like a live thing. You worked for hours trying to understand why Black Loom had sent it now.Ā VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici found the charity links, the hospital donor overlap, the family names, the shell board, but nothing that explained the invitationās exact timing.Ā JungkookĀ checked the penthouse cameras repeatedly, then the building feeds, then the route logs, then Havenās incoming intelligence. You read until the words blurred. By midnight, your shoulders ached.Ā JungkookĀ stood near the workroom door, one hand resting on the frame. The blue-white light from inside cut around him, turning him intoĀ silhouette.Ā
āIf you have another nightmare,ā heĀ said, āwake me.ā You looked up from theĀ sofa. āWhat if you are in there?āĀ
āThen knock.ā You glanced past him into the room you hadĀ still never entered.Ā
āYouĀ said it wasĀ sensitive.āĀ
āIt is.āĀ
āBut I can knock?ā HisĀ gazeĀ softened in a way he wouldĀ probably deny. āYes.āĀ SomethingĀ inĀ your chest turned over.Ā
āAll right,ā youĀ said.Ā
He disappeared into the workroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. Not open. Not closed. It felt likeĀ a beginning. You sat alone in the living room for a while after that, staring at the red-wax invitation on the table and the thin line of light cutting across the floor fromĀ Jungkookās private room. Black LoomĀ hadĀ invited you into its world.Ā JungkookĀ had opened a door into his. You did not know yet which one would ruin you first.Ā
The gala approached like a threat learning how to breathe.
The red-wax invitation had stopped looking like paper and started looking like a pulse. It sat onĀ Jungkookās kitchen table for two days while the two of you tried toĀ tear meaningĀ out of it.Ā VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici traced the charity board.Ā
JungkookĀ mapped the hospital donor overlap. You built a list of every person invited who had ever appeared near a Black Loom case, shell clinic, missing-person file, or sealed court document.
The list grew too quickly.
Judgesā widows.
Hospital board members.
Private security donors.
Old family namesĀ attachedĀ to new money and older sins. Every connection led to another connection until the room itself seemed threaded with invisible red lines. By the afternoon of the event,Ā JungkookĀ had stopped pretending he liked any of it.Ā
He did not tellĀ you notĀ to go again. He had already tried once, and you had already answered him. Instead, he became quiet inĀ theĀ particular way that meant he wasĀ turning fear into procedure. He checked the car route, then the backup route, then the walking approach from theĀ valet entrance to the ballroom. He checked the hotelāsĀ public feeds, private parking angles, traffic cameras, elevator accessĀ points, emergency exits,Ā staff entrances, and fiveĀ different waysĀ to leave without looking like you were running. YouĀ stood in the bedroom and put on the burgundy dress. It felt like a decision.Ā
The satin slipped over your skin in a dark wine sheen, soft at the neckline, narrow over the waist, falling cleanly along your body withoutĀ armourĀ or apology. You kept yourĀ jewelleryĀ minimal: a delicate necklace, small earrings, nothing that could be grabbed easily or missed if lost. Your hair stayed loose. Your lipstick matched the dress closely enough to make the red-wax seal feel less like a threat and more like a challenge returned. Black Loom had invited you in red.Ā SoĀ you wore it back. When youĀ stepped into the living room,Ā JungkookĀ was already there. You stopped. For a second, the whole house seemed to pause with you.Ā
You had seen him in black hoodies, oversized shirts, damp hair after rain, half-lit by screens, masked in your penthouse bathroom with danger still on his hands. You had seen him tired. Controlled. Unreadable. You had seen a room full of people stand because his name had entered before his body fully had. You had never seen him like this. The suit was dark charcoal, almost black, cut with broad, structured shoulders and a layered waistcoat that made him look taller, sharper, more impossible. The shirt beneath had a dark glossy finish at the collar, somethingĀ almost leather-like, held with a preciseĀ tieĀ detail and a simple bar. A fine chain disappeared beneath the waistcoat. His gloves were black. Not decorative. Not theatrical. Practical enough to remind you that elegance did not soften him; it only gave the danger a cleaner line. He looked like old money had learned how to kill a man without raising itsĀ voice.Ā JungkookĀ looked up from fastening one glove. Then heĀ stoppedĀ too. His eyes moved over you once. Only once. But it was enough to make the room feel warmer.Ā
āYou look beautiful,ā heĀ said.Ā
You had been complimented by men who wanted something from you. Men in courtrooms. Men at dinners. Men who mistook polish for permission and intelligence for invitation.Ā JungkookĀ did not say it like that. He said itĀ likeĀ a fact he had failed to prepare himself for. You looked down briefly, not because you were shy, but because something in hisĀ voice had touched a place you had not known was waiting.Ā
āIt isĀ not.ā You looked at him again. āI have neverĀ seen you in aĀ suit.āĀ
āYou haveĀ seen me in worse circumstances.āĀ
āThat isĀ not what I meant.ā HisĀ mouth almostĀ softened. Almost. Then hisĀ gaze moved downward and paused at your ankle.Ā
āYourĀ strap isĀ loose.ā You glanced down. One thin heelĀ strapĀ hadĀ slippedĀ free, dangling against yourĀ skin.Ā
āI must have missed it.āĀ
JungkookĀ crossed the room.
For a moment, you thought he would point, or offer you the sofa, or tell you to fix it before you tripped. Instead, he stopped in front of you and said, quietly,
āLet me fix that for you.ā
Your breath caught before you could stop it.
He lowered himself to one knee.
The movement should not have changed the air. It was practical. Simple. A heel strap, nothing more. But youĀ rememberedĀ Haven. The scraping chairs. The bowed heads. The way everyone had gone still becauseĀ JungkookĀ had entered the room. The underground bowed to him. And now he knelt for you.Ā
He took your ankle gently, gloved fingersĀ carefulĀ around your skin, and set your foot against his knee as if you were something precious and armed at once. He fastened the strap with slow precision, not because he needed the time, but because he wasĀ JungkookĀ and care was never careless in his hands. You looked down at the top of his dark head, the clean line of his suit, the chain near his waistcoat, the gloved hand at your ankle. Something shiftedĀ insideĀ you.Ā
Until then, you had known he was beautiful. You had known it the morning after the photo, drunk memory burning at the edges of your embarrassment. You had known it in passing, as an observation you could put away because danger gave you better things to think about.
But this was the first time your body understood what your mind had been refusing.Ā JungkookĀ was notĀ only theĀ ghost who protected you. He was a man kneeling at your feet with enough power behind him to make rooms go silent. And he had chosen gentleness.
He secured the strap and looked up. The question in his eyes was notĀ verbal. It was worse. It was careful. You wanted to say something clever. Something that would move the moment aside before it became too large to hold. Nothing came.Ā JungkookĀ rose.Ā
āYou may create problemsĀ tonight,ā heĀ said,Ā voice controlled again. You blinked. āBecause of the dress?āĀ
āBecause Black Loom hasĀ probably neverĀ seen you like this.āĀ
JungkookĀ drove with one hand on the wheel and the other resting near the gearĀ shift,Ā everyĀ motion so controlled it almost looked effortless.Ā You watched the city lights slide over the dark leather of his gloves and thought of red wax breaking beneath your fingers.Ā
The hotel rose ahead in glass, gold light, and polished stone, too beautiful to admit what kind of people it had been built to welcome.Ā JungkookĀ pulled up at the entrance without hesitation.Ā
The valet stepped forward with a professional smile, but it faltered slightly when he looked properly atĀ Jungkook. Not enough for anyone else to notice. Enough for you to see.
JungkookĀ handed over the keys as if the reaction meant nothing.Ā
Maybe itĀ did.
Maybe heĀ noticed everything and simply chose not to care.
Then his hand came to rest low on your back, steady enough to guide, light enough to ask, and you walked inside together.Ā
The warmth of the hotel closed around you at once. Marble floors caught the reflection of your dress. White flowers stood in tall arrangements along the entrance hall, too perfect to feel alive. Staff smiled with the careful blankness of people trained never to react, while the sound of rain and traffic faded behind glass and money.Ā
With every step, the ordinary city disappeared a little more.
Jungkookās hand stayed where it was.
Not possessive. Not performative. A point of contact. A quiet reminder that if the room tried to swallow you, he was already there.Ā
Music reached you before the ballroom did, low and elegant, spilling through the open doors like a warning dressed as a welcome.
Then you stepped inside.Ā
The ballroom was built to make people forget that power had a smell.Ā
It was all chandeliers, white flowers, polished floors, champagne, black suits, silk dresses, and the soft hum of money speaking to itself. People turned as you entered, not all at once, but in waves. A glance here. A pause there. A whisper that barely moved the lips.Ā
Older women with diamonds at their throats. Men with politician smiles. Hospital donors. Charity patrons. People whose names appeared on buildings, plaques, and closed reports.Ā
You leaned slightly towardĀ JungkookĀ without looking away from the room.Ā
āDo they know?ā HisĀ hand remainedĀ steady at your back. āNo. They are just looking.āĀ
āThey areĀ lookingĀ a lot.āĀ
āYou are younger than most of them, unfamiliar, andĀ very hard to ignore.āĀ
āWasĀ that a compliment?āĀ
āIt wasĀ the truth.āĀ
You almostĀ smiled. Then a manĀ stepped into your path. He wasĀ closer to your age than most of the room, handsome in the polished way ofĀ someone who had never been denied anything long enough to learn humility. HisĀ suit wasĀ immaculate. HisĀ smile wasĀ easy. HisĀ eyesĀ were wrong.Ā
āGood evening,ā he said. āThank you for accepting my invitation. I hope you have a pleasant night.ā
The room seemed to tilt by one degree. Your invitation.Ā Jungkookās hand did not move, but the air around him changed.
You looked at the man. āAnd you are?āĀ
āSeokjin,ā he said,Ā smileĀ deepening. āBut you can call meĀ Jin.āĀ
Of course. A name that sounded harmless. A name thatĀ belongedĀ inĀ emails and charity boards and polite introductions under chandeliers.Ā Jin.Ā Jin. A man who could order blood through other peopleās hands and still greet you as if you were old friends.Ā
āYouĀ sent the invitation,ā youĀ said.Ā
āI did.āĀ
āWhy?āĀ
āI wanted to see the woman who made so many powerful men nervous.ā You feltĀ JungkookĀ beside you, silent and lethal.Ā Jinās gazeĀ moved toĀ him. āAnd your companion?āĀ
āWith her,āĀ JungkookĀ said. Nothing else. No name. No lie. No explanation.Ā Jinās smile sharpened as if the answer pleased him.Ā
āHow devoted.āĀ
āHow observant,ā you replied.Ā JinĀ laughedĀ softly. āI canĀ see why they dislike you.āĀ
āThey?ā He lifted a glassĀ from a passing tray but did notĀ drink fromĀ it.
āPeople who prefer their truthsĀ buried.ā
You looked around the ballroom. āYou invited me into a room full of them.āĀ
āI invited you into a room full of people who built thisĀ city.āĀ
āNo,ā youĀ said. āThey purchased piecesĀ of it.āĀ
Jinās eyes brightened. For a moment, you understood whyĀ JungkookĀ had been worried. Not becauseĀ JinĀ was loud, or obviously cruel, or reckless. Because he enjoyed this. The conversation. The theatre. The careful placement of every word where it couldĀ cutĀ without leaving blood.Ā
āCome,āĀ JinĀ said. āLet meĀ show you what you came here toĀ see.āĀ
Jungkookās hand pressed onceĀ atĀ your back.
A question.
You answered by moving forward.Ā JinĀ did not introduce you to people so much asĀ revealĀ them. He gestured toward an older woman in pearls speaking to a hospital director and mentioned, lightly, that grief had made her generous after her husbandās sudden death.
He pointed out a donor whose name appeared on three clinics and two sealed investigations. A police commissionerās brother-in-law. AĀ charity-boardĀ member who funded shelters while privately deciding which missing girls deserved to stay missing.
A judgeās widow who held court socially in the corner, smiling beneath a chandelier as if justice had not died in her house long before her husband did.Ā
āBlack Loom is not hiding in basements,āĀ JinĀ said,Ā voice low enough that only you andĀ JungkookĀ could hear. āYou should know that by now.ā You looked at the champagne flutes, the diamonds, theĀ careful laughter.Ā
āThey areĀ standing under chandeliers.āĀ
āSome of them.Ā Some only benefit from the light.āĀ
The room pressed against yourĀ skin. You hadĀ seen corruption in documents. You hadĀ seen it in altered files, missing reports, unexplained transfers, evidence that arrived too clean or too damaged. You had built legal argumentsĀ against it. You had imagined greed in numbersĀ and namesĀ and hidden accounts.Ā Seeing itĀ breatheĀ wasĀ different. They were not monstersĀ in the way children imagined monsters. They hadĀ soft hands. Tailored cuffs. PoliteĀ voices.
They asked about grandchildren and foundation galasĀ and the weather. They had driversĀ waiting outside and namesĀ on hospital wings. TheyĀ smiled asĀ if the dead were abstractions, asĀ if missing women were unfortunate headlines, asĀ if organsĀ moved through the world on their own. You couldĀ smell perfume, champagne, expensiveĀ soap, money. Underneath it, rot. YourĀ stomachĀ turned.Ā JinĀ watched you noticing.Ā
āYou put a few men behind bars,ā heĀ said. āImpressive men, to be fair. Useful men. But did you think that wouldĀ stop anything? You cut one thread.ā You turned your head toward himĀ slowly. HeĀ smiled.Ā
āThe loom kept weaving.āĀ
For a moment, youĀ saw theĀ severed finger. The young man in the interview room. TheĀ victimāsĀ motherĀ cryingĀ into both hands. The judge dead before hisĀ conscience could cost anyone more money. The Jane DoesĀ in hospital filesĀ with organsĀ missing and namesĀ erased until they became casesĀ instead of girls. You wanted toĀ scream. Instead, youĀ smiled.Ā
āThreads can be pulled.āĀ Jinās expressionĀ stilled. Just for a second.Ā JungkookĀ saw it. You knew he did because his hand at your back became warmer through the silk. ThenĀ JinĀ laughed,Ā delighted. āI really do see it.āĀ
āSee what?āĀ
āWhy he came out of the dark for you.ā The words were soft. They landed like a blade.Ā JungkookĀ did not move. You forced yourself not to look at him.Ā JinĀ reached into his jacket and removed aĀ small sealedĀ card. Cream paper. Red wax. Again.Ā
āFor your friends,ā he said. You did not take it.Ā JungkookĀ did.Ā Jinās eyes shifted to his gloved hand with interest tooĀ carefulĀ to be casual.Ā
āThere isĀ a name inside,āĀ JinĀ said. āOr part of one. A gift.Ā Since you have been chasing lists.āĀ
āWhy give it to us?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā
āBecause I want toĀ see what you do with it.āĀ
āYou want usĀ to follow.āĀ
āI want many things.āĀ JungkookĀ slipped the card inside his jacket. āWe are done.āĀ JinĀ looked at him for a longĀ moment. Then he smiled as ifĀ JungkookĀ had confirmed something.Ā
āOf course.āĀ
You turned away before your face could betray how badly the room had started to affect you. You managed another fifteen minutes.Ā Maybe less. Time became strange afterĀ JinĀ left you near a cluster of donors andĀ officials,Ā his cruelty delivered with such elegance that no one around you had realized a threat had occurred. You stood withĀ JungkookĀ beside you, your posture perfect, your glass untouched, your face calm enough to belong there. Inside, your body was rejecting the room.Ā
Your throat tightened. HeatĀ movedĀ under your skin. The chandelier light fractured at the edges. Every laugh felt like a hand over a mouth. Every diamond flashed like a surgical instrument. You could almost hear the dead asking how people could sip champagne in the same world that had erased them.Ā JungkookĀ did not ask in front of anyone. He only shifted closer. You turned your face toward him slightly, asĀ ifĀ commenting on the music.Ā
āI am about to collapse,ā youĀ saidĀ softly. āGet me out of here. Please.ā HisĀ response wasĀ immediate. No panic. NoĀ visible alarm. HeĀ simply adjusted hisĀ posture, leaned in asĀ if you hadĀ saidĀ something amusing, then placed a hand more firmly at your back.Ā
āOf course,ā heĀ said,Ā voiceĀ smooth enough for anyone listening. āWe have another commitment.āĀ
You did not know who heĀ told. You did not hear the excuse. You focused on walking. OneĀ step. Then another. Chin level. ShouldersĀ back. Do not let them see. Do not letĀ JinĀ see. Do not give Black Loom the satisfaction of knowing that a room full of well-dressed murderers had made your knees weak.Ā
JungkookĀ guided you through the corridor with his body angled subtly between you and anyone approaching. His hand remained at your back, grounding, directing, protecting without making you look fragile. Outside, the night airĀ hitĀ your face like mercy.Ā
TheĀ valet brought the car.Ā JungkookĀ opened the door and helped you inside before anyone could see your hands shaking. He took the driverās seat, pulled away smoothly, and did not speak until the hotel had disappeared behind you. Only then did his hand leave the wheel and settle gently on your shoulder.
That was all it took. YouĀ folded. Silently at first. Tears slipping down your cheeks, breath shaking, your body curling smaller in the seat as if all the posture you had held inside that room had been borrowed from aĀ version of yourself you could not sustain any longer.Ā JungkookĀ said your name once. You shook your head.Ā
āAll thoseĀ victims,ā you whispered. āAll those people I wasĀ trying to protect, trying to give their familiesĀ closure, trying to bring homeĀ so they could be buriedā¦ā YourĀ voice broke, and you hated that it did, hated that they couldĀ still reach you even after you left the room. āAnd the rich wereĀ sipping champagne asĀ if it were another Tuesday.āĀ
JungkookĀ stared at the road. His face did not change. That was how you knew something terrible had happened inside him. Not to you. For you. In the quiet of that expensive car, beneath the passing gold light ofĀ Seoul at night,Ā JungkookĀ looked at your tears andĀ made a decisionĀ with no witness but the dark. He had promised to help you before. He had protected you, guided you, hidden you, built walls around your life with code and caution. But this was different. This was notĀ protectionĀ as a system. This was devotion sharpened into consequence. The people in that room had made you feel small because their pride had been wounded.Ā JungkookĀ would remember that.Ā
He would remember every face the button camera on his jacket had captured. Every handshake. Every whisper. Every donor who leaned too close to a judgeās widow. Every laugh that rose beneath the chandeliers while you stood there carrying the dead in your throat. Black Loom had aimed its blade at his pride. At you. AndĀ Jungkook, silent behind the dark, began to answer. He did not tell you that in the car.Ā
He did not tell you when he drove through the city with one hand on the wheel and the other still resting lightly on your shoulder as if touch alone could keep you from disappearing into the grief of that ballroom. He did not tell you when he parked behind his house, turned off the engine, and sat for one quiet second before opening his door, because even then he was calculating faces, exits, names,Ā vulnerabilities, consequences.Ā JungkookĀ did not rage loudly. He became precise. You were still trembling when he came around to your side of the car. The night air had turned cold enough to bite through the satin of your dress, and your legs felt unsteady when youĀ stepped out.Ā JungkookĀ saw it before you said anything. He removed his suit jacket and placed it over your shoulders, the dark fabric warm from his body, heavy enough to feel like a temporary wall between you and the rest of the world.Ā
āCome inside,ā heĀ said.Ā
You let him guide you. The house looked impossibly gentle after the ballroom. Warm hallway light, old wood floors, shoes near the door, the soft hum of systems hidden beneath domestic quiet. You stood just inside the entryway inĀ burgundyĀ satin and his black jacket, feeling like you had carried the dead home with you and had nowhere to put them down.Ā JungkookĀ locked the door, checked the security panel, checked something on his phone, then turned back to you.Ā
āSit.āĀ
You should have argued. Any other night, you might have. But hisĀ voice was not commanding for the sake of being obeyed. It was low, soothing, careful. The kind ofĀ voice he used when he had already assessed that your body had done all it could do for one evening. You sat on the sofa.Ā JungkookĀ lowered himself in front of you and took your ankle in one hand. You looked down at him.Ā
For a second, the earlier moment returned with a different ache. Before the gala,Ā himĀ kneeling had felt intimate in a way you had not been ready to name. Now, when he unfastened one heel and then the other, it felt like care stripped down to its oldest language. No performance. No witness. No ballroom. Only his gloved handsĀ workingĀ carefully over the buckles while your fingers curled into the edge of his jacket. The first heel came off. Then the second. Your feet touched the floor, and you exhaled as if the shoes had been holding you upright by force.Ā JungkookĀ set them aside. āLay down for a bit.āĀ
āI am not going to fall apart.āĀ
āYou already did,ā heĀ said,Ā not unkindly. āYou did it quietly. There isĀ a difference.āĀ
Your throat tightened. He helped you lie back against theĀ sofa cushionsĀ and pulled the throw from the armrest over your legs. You wanted to tell him he did not have to do all of this. You wanted toĀ say you were fine, orĀ nearly fine, or would be fineĀ soon. Instead, you turned your face toward the back of theĀ sofa and closed your eyesĀ because you were too tired to keep pretendingĀ strength wasĀ theĀ same asĀ not needing anyone.Ā
āI will make tea,ā heĀ said.Ā
Of course he would. You heard him move into the kitchen. A cupboard opened. Water ran. The kettle clicked. Small sounds. Domestic sounds. They should not have belonged to a man who could make a room full of underground operators stand by entering it. They should not have belonged to the same man who had recorded the faces of Black Loom with a hidden camera disguised as a button on his jacket and already sent them toĀ VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici before theĀ valet had even brought the car around. But that wasĀ Jungkook. He did not divide care fromĀ violence. He simply chose who deserved which hand.Ā By the time he returned with tea, you had fallen asleep.Ā
Your body had been on alert for hours, spine locked, face controlled, grief swallowed beneath lipstick and posture. The second you were back inside his house, wrapped in hisĀ jacket,Ā your body had decided that safety was more important than dignity and shut itself down.Ā JungkookĀ stood beside the sofa with the mug in his hand and stared at you. You lookedĀ smaller inĀ sleep. Human in a way the ballroom had not allowed you to be. One hand tucked beneath your cheek, lashes damp, mouth soft with exhaustion, theĀ burgundy dress still catching low light beneath the black fall of his jacket. His phone buzzed once.Ā V.
Faces processing.Ā FirstĀ external disruptions started. Donor accounts flagged. Two shell routesĀ freezingĀ before morning.Ā
JungkookĀ read it.Ā
Then he looked back at you. Black Loom had thought it was inviting a lamb into a room full of wolves. They had been wrong about you. They had been wrong aboutĀ himĀ too.Ā
JungkookĀ set the tea down, slid one arm beneath your knees and the other behind your back, and lifted you carefully from the sofa. You stirred once against his chest but did notĀ wake. The sight of it did something ruinous to him, something he filed away with all the other things he could not afford to feel fully while enemies still had names and money and breath.Ā
He carried you to the bedroom and laid you down with the same care he had used on your heel strap. He removed the jacket from your shoulders, covered you properly, and stood beside the bed for a longĀ moment. Then he bent and kissed your forehead. BarelyĀ a touch. Enough to make aĀ vow of his mouth without waking you to hear it. His phone buzzed again.Ā Another confirmation fromĀ V.Ā JungkookĀ looked toward the hall, toward the workroom, toward the machines waiting with their maps and feeds and sharp little doors into other peopleās lives.Ā Then he looked at you one last time.Ā
āNothing isĀ going to hurt you,ā he whispered.Ā
It was not a promise the world could keep.Ā SoĀ he would make it afraid not to. Over the next few days, Black Loom began to bleed. NotĀ publiclyĀ at first. Public collapse came later, in courtrooms and news reports and whispered panic inside polished offices. This was quieter. Sharper. A donor accountĀ frozenĀ for compliance review. A private transport route exposed to the wrongĀ customsĀ contact. A hospital board member unable to access three offshore shells before dawn. A security contractorās hidden ledger delivered anonymously to two people who hated him enough to use it. A bankerās encrypted archive unlocked just far enough for fear to spread inside his own house.Ā JungkookĀ did not sleep much.Ā
You noticed because you had become too familiar with the shape of his exhaustion. The dark beneath his eyes. The way he stood with one shoulder braced against the workroom door when he thought you were focused on your own files. The half-full coffee cupsĀ abandonedĀ throughout the house. The hoodie he wore for two days because he had forgotten clothes existed outside function.
YouĀ workedĀ too. Not because he asked. Because Black Loom had shown you its face under chandeliers, and now every document felt like aĀ threadĀ you could pull until something screamed.Ā VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici sent names, financial routes, coded references, partialĀ lists. You built legal maps from illegal intelligence. YouĀ sortedĀ what could somedayĀ surviveĀ court and what existed only to guideĀ Jungkookās dark hand toward the next weak point.Ā
The cardĀ JinĀ had given youĀ containedĀ part of a name. Not enough.Ā Of courseĀ not enough. Enough to prove he knew what you were chasing. Enough to direct you toward the next corridor of the maze. Enough to makeĀ Jungkookās jaw tighten every time he looked at it becauseĀ JinĀ had not made a mistake. He had extended an invitation inside the invitation. Follow me.
On the fourth day after the gala,Ā JungkookĀ stood at the living-room threshold and said, āCome with me.ā You looked up from the table, surrounded by files, sticky notes, and a laptop screen full of names. āWhere?āĀ
āMy workroom.āĀ
The words stilled you more than they should have.
You had passed that door a hundred times by then. You had seen light beneath it, heard the hum, watchedĀ JungkookĀ disappear inside as if part of him belonged more to that room than to the rest of the house. He had told you that you could knock if you needed him, but he had never invited you in. You closed your laptop slowly.Ā
āAre you sure?āĀ
āNo,ā he said. āCome anyway.āĀ
That was honest enough to make you stand. The workroom was not what you expected and exactly what you expected at once. It was larger than the closed door had suggested, stretching into a converted back room reinforced with more equipment than any private citizen should have been able to obtain. Screens lined the main wall. Some showed camera grids. Some displayed maps, routes, financial webs, court structures, hospital networks, faces from the ballroom captured in sharp stills from the hidden button camera. There were handwritten notes beside digital ones, evidence boards beside code, red lines connecting names, locations, institutions, bodies. Your life was there.Ā
On one screen, the ballroom faces shifted in a grid. Seokjin appeared in the centre, smiling politely beneath chandelier light. Around him: donors, officials, widows, directors, patrons, men who had never touched a knife because their money had done the cutting for them. On another, a list of disruptions updated in quiet green text.Ā JungkookĀ had been dismantling pieces of them while making you coffee. You turned slowly. He stood near the door in black clothes, hair messy from running his hand through it too many times, eyes shadowed with sleeplessness. The glow from the screens cut across one side of his face, turning him half ghost, half man.Ā
āYou should know what I am doing,ā he said. āBefore you decide you can live with it.āĀ
There it was again. An exit. Offered gently. Offered before you asked. Offered because somewhere inside him,Ā JungkookĀ still believed people stayed only until they understood him properly. You looked back at the screens. There was horror here. Illegality. Trespass. Invasion. A hundred things you would have condemned in another context, in another room, before the law had shown you how easily it could be bought, delayed, manipulated, made useless by men who drank champagne while victims disappeared. Then you looked at the photograph of the young man whose finger had been sent to you. You looked at the judgeās name. The hospital routes. The missing women. The ballroom faces. Finally, you looked atĀ Jungkook.Ā
āYou thought this would make me leave?āĀ
His face gave nothing away. That answered enough. You crossed the room toward him.Ā JungkookĀ did not move. Not when you stopped close enough to see how tired he truly was. Not when you lifted a hand and brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead. Not when your fingers lingered near his temple, soft against the place where his exhaustion lived.Ā
āI have seen monsters in courtrooms,ā you said. āI have seen men smile while lying about girls they helped destroy. I have seen evidence vanish because someone rich made a call. I have seen the law kneel for people who should have been begging forgiveness from graves.āĀ Jungkookās eyes searched yours.Ā
āYou are not the thing that scares me in this room,ā you said.Ā
Something inĀ JungkookĀ broke quietly. Not enough for the room. Enough for you.Ā
You kissed him first, and it was not graceful. It was not planned. It was months of warnings, routes, coffee, fear, proof, grief, sunlight, nightmares, and his hand steady at your back in a ballroom full of murderers. It was the way he had knelt for your heel. The way he had carried you to bed. The way he had given you proof before trust and exits before promises. It was the way he had stood behind you in the dark long before he ever touched you in the light.
JungkookĀ went still for half a breath. Then his hand came to your waist. Not pulling. Holding. As if he needed to make sure you were real before he allowed himself to want. The second kiss was his, and it undid you.
It began measured, becauseĀ JungkookĀ was measured in everything, because even desire had to pass through the discipline of a man who had survived by never taking what was not freely given. His mouth moved against yours with a control sharp enough to make your knees weak. His hand only tightened at your waist when you stepped closer. His other hand lifted to your jaw, bare thumb brushing the line of your cheek with a gentleness that almost hurt.Ā
Then you made a sound into his mouth. Soft. Ruined. His discipline split down the middle.Ā
JungkookĀ moved you back against the edge of the desk, not enough to frighten, but enough to remind you that beneath all that patience was strength he had been keeping on a leash. The desk met the backs of your thighs. His body followed. Warm, solid, impossibly close. His hand braced beside your hip. The other slid into your hair, fingers threading through it, tilting your face up so he could kiss you deeper.Ā
The kiss changed. It became hunger forced through discipline. Want held back only because your choice still mattered more to him than his own need. You forgot the screens. The maps. The faces of monsters watching from frozen frames. You forgot the law, the files, the house, the war waiting outside the room. Everything narrowed to the edge of the desk beneath you, his body between your legs, his hand in your hair, his mouth taking yours like he had been starving in silence and had only now found something he was allowed to taste.Ā
āDo you know what you do to me?ā he murmured against your mouth, voice low, almost rough. āDo you know what you do to my discipline?āĀ
You reached for him.Ā JungkookĀ madeĀ a low soundĀ when your hands closed in the front of his hoodie. His body pressed closer, one knee nudging between yours, not forcing, only asking with the shape of him. You opened for him before he had to ask aloud, and the moment he felt it, his grip at your waist tightened.Ā
His mouth left yours only to find your jaw, then the side of your throat. You tipped your head back before pride could reach you. He noticed. Of course he noticed.Ā JungkookĀ noticed everything. His lips touched the place beneath your ear, slow enough to make your breath catch, then warmer, open-mouthed, tasting the pulse he had spent months trying to keep beating.Ā
āI have counted every room in this house where I wanted to touch you,ā he said, so quietly it felt more dangerous than a confession. āDo you understand that? I knew the exits. I knew the cameras. I knew every route out. And all I could think about was how close you were.āĀ
His hand slid from your waist to the curve of your thigh, fingers flexing once through the fabric of your dress before stopping. He pulled back. Not far. Only enough to look at you. His breathing had changed. So had yours. His forehead almost touched yours, but he did not kiss you again. Not yet.Ā
āLittle lamb,ā he said, voice low enough to make your whole body tighten, āplease do not kiss me if you are not going to stay.āĀ
Your lips parted. āThis is more than a kiss to me,ā he said. āThis is a vow.āĀ
The room went silent around you except for the hum of machines. You understood, then, thatĀ JungkookĀ was not asking you for a night. He was not asking for comfort, distraction, gratitude, adrenaline, or need born from fear. He was showing you the threshold before you crossed it because his heart, hidden thing that it was, had already turned sacred at the sight of you.Ā
You lifted both hands to his face. You kissed him again. No hesitation. No clever answer. No making the choice smaller so it could hurt less. You kissed him like staying had already happened.Ā JungkookĀ made a quiet sound against your mouth, almost wounded.Ā
Then his hands moved. One beneath your thigh. One at your back. He lifted you from the desk as if discipline had only been waiting for permission to become strength. Your legs wrapped around his waist. The sound he made then was different. Lower. Less controlled.
āTell me,ā heĀ said against your lips. āTell me you are here because you want me. Not because you are afraid. Not because you are grateful. Me.ā
āI want you.ā
His eyes darkened. āThat is the only answer that lets me keep touching you.āĀ
He carried you out of the workroom, and the hallway disappeared in pieces: warm lamplight, the shadow of his shoulder, your fingers in his hair, the hard line of his body beneath your thighs. Your back touched the wall just outside the workroom. The impact was gentle. The intent was not.Ā JungkookĀ held you there, pinned between the wall and the heat of him, not because you could not move, but because he needed to feel that you were choosing not to.
His hips pressed forward once,Ā controlledĀ and ruinous, and the friction pulled a broken breath from you before you could swallow it. He stoppedĀ immediately.
āAgain?ā he asked, voice wrecked.
āYes.ā His forehead pressed to yours.
āUse words for me. I do not guess with your body.ā
Your hands tightened in his hair.
āAgain,Ā Jungkook.ā He kissed you like the sound of his name in your mouth had cut the last wire holding him still.
At the bedroom door, he set you down just enough to turn the handle, his body still close, his breath still touching your mouth. You tried to kiss him again, impatient now, but he caught your chin between his fingers and made you look at him. āLast chance,ā he said, voice rough. āIf this is fear, we stop. If this is gratitude, we stop. If this is because you saw what I did to Black Loom, we stop.ā You reached for him. āI see you. That is why I am still here.āĀ
He closed his eyes for half a second. When he opened them again, the last of his control did not disappear. It changed shape. He took you into the bedroom and set you on the edge of the bed, not dropping you, not letting you fall, placing you there with the same terrible care he gave to everything that mattered.Ā
Black clothes. Dark hair. Mouth marked by yours. Eyes fixed on you as if the sight required discipline. He removed his gloves slowly. One finger at a time. The leather slid free with a quiet pull, then another, then another. He set both gloves on the bedside table with a precision that made your body ache. You had seen thoseĀ hands onĀ keyboards, weapons, steering wheels, your ankle, your files, the edge of your fear. Bare now, they lookedĀ almost tooĀ human. That made them worse.Ā
He touched your face first. Then your throat. Then the strap of your dress. Each place he touched, he watched you. Not like he doubted you. Like he was learning the exact language of your consent in every breath, every tilt of your chin, every time you moved closer instead of away.
āTell me if you want me to stop,ā he said. āI will.ā You held his gaze. āPromise me.ā āI promise.ā
His fingers slid beneath the strap and eased it down your shoulder. The dress shifted with it, satin slipping against your skin. His eyes followed the movement, and for the first time, you saw his control falter before he could hide it. His thumb brushed the newly exposed skin near your collarbone. Once. Twice. Then his mouth followed. He kissed your shoulder first. Slow. Warm. Then the hollow beneath your collarbone. Then the place where your pulse betrayed you.
He undressed you as if every inch revealed had been trusted into his hands. Not taken. Trusted. The other strap fell. His palms settled at your waist, waiting until you lifted your hips for him. Only then did he draw the dress down, letting the satin slide over your ribs, your waist, your hips, his fingers following the path as though your body was a map he had spent months refusing to read and could no longer deny himself.
When the dress slipped away, he dropped to one knee between your legs. Your heart stuttered. Haven had bowed to him.Ā JungkookĀ knelt for you. Again. Only this time, there was no heel strap. No polite excuse for the position. His hands rested on your thighs, warm and bare, thumbs moving slowly over the inner seam of your legs.Ā
He looked up at you from there, and the hunger in his face was so open that your first instinct was to reach for the blanket. He caught your hand before you could hide. āNo,ā he said softly. His thumb moved over your knuckles. āLet me look at you.ā Your face warmed. āYou are staring.ā āYes.ā āThat was not a complaint.ā āI would not have stopped staring.āĀ
His mouth touched the inside of your knee. Your fingers twisted in the sheets. He kissed higher. His hands held your thighs open with infuriating gentleness, thumbs stroking slow lines into your skin, his mouth trailing warmth along places no one had ever made feel sacred and obscene at the same time. You looked down at him and found him already watching you. That ruined you more than anything.Ā
āI want to hear what you sound like when you stop holding back,ā he murmured against your thigh.Ā
You almost hated him for moving away. Then your hands found the hem of his hoodie. He stilled. You pulled once. He obeyed. The hoodie came off over his head, and the sight of him made your breath catch. Lean strength. Old scars. Inked shadows disappearing along his ribs and shoulder. The body of a man who had survived more than he said and trained himself to look untouchable because being touched had once meant being known.Ā
You touched him because you could. Because he had spent months as a voice, a warning, a message, a ghost with hands you imagined before you ever felt them. Your fingertips traced the line of one tattoo near his chest. His eyes closed. The sound he made was quiet enough to be a secret. You leaned forward and kissed the mark. Then another scar. Then another. His stomach tightened beneath your mouth. His fingers slid into your hair, not pushing. Holding. For one ruinous second, you understood that tenderness did not make him calmer. It made him worse.Ā
He guided your face back to his and kissed you deeper now, messier, no longer pretending at distance. He pushed you back onto the bed and followed you down, one knee between yours, body covering yours in degrees: first his hands, then his mouth, then his weight. When his chest pressed to yours, you gasped into his mouth. He heard it. Felt it. Answered it by rolling his hips once against you. Your back arched.Ā JungkookĀ stopped moving again.Ā
āDo not keep stopping,ā you breathed. His jaw tightened. āI am trying.ā āTo stop?ā āTo stay worthy of what you are giving me.āĀ
Your throat tightened. You pulled him down and kissed him harder. That was the end of the soft beginning.Ā Jungkookās mouth moved down your throat again, then lower, over your chest, over your ribs, over the places your breath broke beneath him. He did not let the moment turnĀ vague or distantĀ or pretty enough to hide behind. He made you feel all of it. His hands sliding under your back to lift you closer. His mouth closing over sensitive skin until your fingers dug into his shoulders. The slow drag of his body against yours. The heat of him between your legs. The way he kept watching you, like your pleasure had become the only language he still trusted.Ā
Then his hand moved to the bedside drawer. He paused before opening it. Your eyes followed. When he withdrew the coil of red rope, both of you went still. The rope lay across his palm, vivid and dark in the low light. Not a threat. Not a surprise forced into the room. An offering.Ā
āI bought it after the gala,ā he said. āI thought about throwing it away.ā āWhy did you keep it?ā His eyes lifted to yours. āBecause I could not stop thinking about the red wax. Your dress. Pomegranate.ā His hand closed loosely around the coil. āAnd because there is a story about a red thread that ties destined people together. Invisible. Unbreakable. It feltā¦ā He looked away for a second, jaw tense. āDangerous to want that.ā
Your heart hurt. āJungkook.ā āI will not use it unless you want it.ā You sat up slowly, the sheet pooling at your waist, and held out your hand. He gave you the rope. It was softer than you expected. Warm from his hand. Red as fate. Red as warning. Red as all the things Black Loom had tried to turn into fear. You wound part of it once around your own wrist, loosely, and held the end out to him. His eyes darkened. āShow me.ā
Jungkookās breathing changed. Not because of the rope alone. Because of what you had given him with it. Trust made visible. Surrender chosen with steady eyes. Fate placed in his hands, not as a cage, but as a vow. He took the rope back carefully.Ā
āColours,ā he said, voice low. āGreen means continue. Yellow means slow down. Red means stop. Pomegranate means everything stops. No questions. No hesitation. No pride.ā You repeated it back to him, and something in his face softened so fiercely that the rope itself felt less like restraint and more like a language the two of you had invented because ordinary promises had never been enough.Ā
He tied with the focus of a man writing code that could not afford an error, except this was warmer, slower, sacred. He explained each movement before he made it. Checked the pressure. Slid two fingers beneath every wrap. Asked you to flex. Asked you to breathe. Sometimes he stopped only to kiss the place he had just wrapped, as if even beauty required permission. Sometimes he asked you to pull, and when the rope held, his breathing changed.Ā
When he was done, your wrists were secured above you. Not painfully. Not frighteningly. But undeniably. Red rope against the sheets. Red rope against your skin. Red rope holding your choice where he could see it.Ā JungkookĀ sat back and looked at you. His face changed so openly that your own breath caught.Ā
āWhat?ā you whispered. He shook his head once, as if speech had become the one system he could not access. Then, rougher, āYou trusted me.ā Your throat tightened. āYes.ā His hand moved from the rope at your wrist down along your arm, over your shoulder, to your chest, your waist, your hip. Possessive without ownership. Worshipful without softness becoming weak.Ā
āMy beautiful little lamb,ā he murmured, and the gentleness of it made the darkness in his voice worse. āDo you have any idea what that does to me?āĀ
You did not get to answer. His mouth returned to your body. This time, he did not let the scene blur into implication. He kissed his way down your stomach, one hand spread over your hip to keep you grounded, the other sliding beneath your thigh to open you for him. Your first instinct was to reach for his hair, but the rope stopped you. The restraint turned the instinct into a helpless pull above your head, andĀ JungkookĀ looked up at the sound it dragged out of you.
āDo you want your hands free?ā he asked. You shook your head. His thumb pressed slowly into your hip. āWords.ā āNo,ā you breathed. āKeep them there.ā His eyes darkened. Then his mouth lowered down to your wet core.
Your head fell back against the pillow. The first touch of his tongue made your whole body jolt.Ā Jungkookās hand tightened at your hip, not holding you down, holding you with him. His mouth moved slowly at first, like he wanted to learn every reaction before he let himself become hungry. He found the rhythm that made your thighs tremble and stayed there until your breath broke apart. Then he stopped just long enough to kiss the inside of your thigh.
You made a small, desperate sound. He looked up. There were men who would have looked smug.Ā JungkookĀ looked ruined. That ruined you more. He returned to you with less patience. His tongue worked on your wet core relentlessly, his fingers pressing into your thigh, his mouth warm and precise and devastating. Every time your hips lifted, he followed. Every time you tried to close your legs, overwhelmed by the pleasure, he kissed the trembling muscle there and opened your legs again with a low murmur that sounded too much like praise to survive.
His mouth left you only long enough for him to look up. āColour.ā āGreen,ā you gasped. His face changed. Then he slid one finger into your pussy. Slow. Measured. Watching. The stretch of his finger made your back arch. He stilled until your body softened around him, then moved again, curling his finger with a precision that made your breath snap. His mouth returned to your clit at the same time, and the world narrowed to him. His tongue. His fingers. The rope. Your body no longer pretending it could stay quiet.Ā
He brought you to the edge and held you there, learning the exact shape of your pleasure until you shook with it. Each time you thought he would let you cum, he drew back just enough to make you gasp his name like a plea. He pressed his lips to your skin afterward as if apology and hunger could live in the same touch. āJungkook,ā you breathed. He added another finger. Your pussy clenched around his fingers. His eyes nearly closed. āAgain,ā he murmured against you. āSay it again.āĀ
Your face burned. He moved his fingers deeper, his mouth returning to your clit with a pressure that made thought impossible. You said his name again. This time, it broke.Ā JungkookĀ answered withĀ a low soundĀ against your skin, and the vibration of it pushed you too close too fast. Your wrists pulled against the red rope. His free hand spread over your stomach, grounding you, keeping you with him as pleasure gathered too sharply to hold. āBreathe for me,ā he said, voice wrecked. āDo not disappear on me. Stay here.āĀ
You tried. You really did. Then his fingers curled again, his mouth found the exact rhythm that made your vision blur, and you came apart with his name in your mouth and red rope around your wrists.Ā JungkookĀ did not look away. He watched your face, listened to the break in your breathing, followed every movement of your bound hands and trembling body as if your pleasure were the only system in the world worth understanding. He held you through every wave, murmuring you back into your body, telling you to breathe, to stay with him, to let him carry what you did not have to carry alone.
He kissed his way back up your body while you were still shaking, mouth wet, hair falling across his forehead, eyes dark enough to steal the air from the room. You tried to turn your face away, overwhelmed by the force of being seen like that, but he followed you. āNo hiding from me,ā he said against your cheek. āNot now.ā
His fingers were still inside you. Moving slower now. Too slow. Your body jerked. āJungkook.ā āI heard you.ā The words came out rough, dangerous, and too tender at once. He kissed the corner of your mouth. āI heard you, little lamb.ā
You almost hated him for how well he knew where the edge was. He pushed you further, dragging another kind of desperation out of you, turning pleasure into something too sharp, too bright, too much. Tears gathered at the corners of your eyes.Ā JungkookĀ saw them instantly. He stopped. Not away from you. Stopped. His whole body locked above yours. āToo much?ā he asked. His voice shook with restraint.
You pulled against the rope and shook your head. āWords.ā
āNo,ā you breathed. āNot too much.ā His eyes searched yours. āAre you sure?ā āYes.ā A pause. Then you whispered, āPlease.ā Something wild moved through his face. āGood.ā The word was soft. Your whole body answered anyway.
When he finally came over you fully, when the rest of his clothes were gone and there was nothing left between his skin and yours except heat, breath, rope, and choice,Ā JungkookĀ paused. Even then. Even aching. Even shaking. Even with his mouth swollen from yours and restraint hanging by one fraying thread. He paused.
You lifted your bound hands as far as the rope allowed and touched his jaw with your knuckles. āI am here.ā His eyes closed briefly. Then he guided his cock into you slowly. So slowly it hurt. So slowly you felt every inch of the stretch, every tremor in his discipline, every breath he forced through his lungs to keep from taking too much too quickly.
His forehead dropped near yours. A sound broke low in his throat, raw enough to make your chest ache. For a moment, neither of you moved. Your body held him. The rope held your wrists.Ā JungkookĀ held everything else. His hand gripped the sheet beside your ribs hard enough to twist it. His other hand pressed to your hip, thumb trembling against your skin.Ā
He looked down at you, eyes dark andĀ nearly helpless, and still found the discipline to ask without asking. Are you here? Are you sure? Are you still choosing this? You answered by lifting your bound hands as far as the rope allowed and pressing your knuckles to his cheek. He turned his face into the touch. The tenderness of it made the heat worse. Made the whole room feel too small for what had been waiting between you for months.Ā
āJungkook,ā you whispered. His eyes opened. You moved your hips. That undid him.Ā
He kissed you like he had to keep the sound inside you, like if you filled the room with what he was doing to you, the world might hear andĀ come takeĀ it away. His first movements were slow, deep, held together by sheer force of will. Every thrust dragged a sound out of you that made his jaw tighten. Every time your pussy tightened around him, his breath caught against your mouth. He did not become careless. Not even then. But his discipline grew darker at the edges.Ā
His hand slid beneath your lower back and lifted you into him, changing the angle, drawing a broken sound from your throat that made his restraint fracture across his face. āAgain,ā he murmured. āLet me hear it again.ā You could not have stopped it if you tried. He moved deeper, harder, still watching you, still listening, still adjusting every time your body answered him.Ā
The bed shifted beneath you. The rope pulled tight above your head. Your wrists flexed because you wanted your hands on him, wanted your nails in his back, wanted to drag him closer even though there was no space left between you.Ā JungkookĀ saw it. Of course he saw it.
āDo you want out?ā he asked, stopping even though stopping clearly cost him. You shook your head, breathless.
āNo.ā His eyes searched your face.
āI want to touch you,ā you whispered.Ā
Something in him softened and broke at once. He reached up, loosened one knot just enough to free one of your hands, then guided it to the back of his neck. The moment your fingers slid into his hair, his eyes closed. For one second, he looked undone by that more than anything else. Then he kissed you again and moved like the touch had given him permission to fall apart.
The pace changed. No longer distant from what he wanted. His hips drove into yours with enough force to push you deeper into the mattress, his hand locked at your thigh, keeping you open, keeping you close, keeping every movement exactly where both of you needed it. His mouth moved over your throat, your jaw, your lips, stealing sounds from you and giving you his own in return: low curses, broken praise, your name spoken like something sacred dragged through fire.Ā
āYou look beautiful like this,ā he said against your mouth. āBound for me. Trusting me. Do you understand what that does to me?āĀ
You could not answer. He moved harder. Your answer came as a sound.Ā JungkookĀ took it like proof.
āHow long do you think I have wanted you?ā he asked, voice rougher now, less polished, less protected. āHow many nights do you think I sat outside your life and told myself wanting you was the one line I would not cross?ā His hand tightened at your thigh. āYou were in my house. In my clothes. At my table. Sleeping in my bed while I sat outside that door and tried not to think about what you would feel like under my hands.āĀ
You moaned softly his name, your walls clenching around his hard cock. He cursed softly. āLike that,ā he breathed. āExactly like that.ā The filth of it hit harder because it wasĀ JungkookĀ saying it.Ā Jungkook, who hid care inside instructions.Ā Jungkook, who gave proof instead of promises.Ā Jungkook, who had spent months holding himself back with both hands and now sounded almost angry with how much he wanted you. At the months of distance. The locked doors. The cameras. The fear. Every reason he had kept his hands to himself when wanting you had been slowly taking him apart.
The rope held one wrist above you. Your free hand clung to the back of his neck. His skin was hot beneath your palm. His pace built until the room stopped being a room. It became red rope. Warm skin. The scrape of sheets beneath your back. His breath at your throat. Your name in his mouth. His body moving into yours with a rhythm that made you forget courtrooms, dead judges, severed fingers, gala chandeliers, and every monster that had tried to make your body a place of fear.Ā
JungkookĀ wanted to replace all of it. You could feel that in every movement. He wanted to ruin every memory Black Loom had left on your skin and cover it with his hands, his mouth, his voice, his name. He wanted you undone. Safe. Claimed by choice, not owned. Wrecked, but only where he could hold you through it.Ā
When your body began to tighten again, he felt itĀ immediately. His forehead dropped to yours. āStay with me,ā he whispered. āLet me feel you.ā You whispered his name once more. Not as a plea this time. As permission to fall with you.Ā
You came again with your wrist bound above you and his mouth at your throat, clenching around him hard enough to drag a curse from him.Ā JungkookĀ came inside you with his face buried against your shoulder, shaking silently, holding himself so close that you felt the moment he broke as if it had happened inside your own chest.
For a while after, there was only breathing. His body warm over yours. The rope still red around one wrist. The night outside the window. The screens in the workroom dark beyond the hall, monsters waiting, war waiting, consequence waiting. But not yet.Ā
For a few minutes, there was only the weight of him easing carefully from you, his hands already gentling, already checking. He murmured your name like an apology and a prayer. Then he reached up to untie you with the same care he had used to bind you. The rope loosened. Your wrist lowered.Ā
He kissed each mark, each place the rope had pressed, not because you were hurt, but because he had touched you there and needed to answer for even the gentlest restraint. He rubbed warmth back into your fingers, watched the colour return, then brought your hand to his mouth and held it there longer than necessary, eyes closed as if he were memorising the fact that you had trusted him and survived his wanting.Ā
āAre youĀ allĀ right?ā he asked. You opened your eyes. He looked terrified. That almost made you cry. You lifted one hand to his face. āI am more than all right.ā His eyes searched yours, unwilling to accept softness without evidence.Ā SoĀ you gave him proof. You curled into him.
JungkookĀ gathered you close with a breath that trembled only once. He pulled the blanket over both of you, checked your wrist again, then your other hand, then your breathing, then your face, as if there might be a hidden wound somewhere desire had left behind and he would not rest until he found it.Ā
āWater,ā he said. You made a small sound of protest into his chest. He kissed your hair. āNot negotiable.ā āYou are very bossy after sex.ā His mouth paused against your hair. Then, very quietly, āI am trying not to be terrified after sex.āĀ
Your heart squeezed. You lifted your head.Ā JungkookĀ looked away too late. The admission sat between you, bare and wounded. He could tie rope around your wrists. He could dismantle criminal empires from a dark room. He could walk into Haven and make ghosts rise from their chairs. But this, your softness afterward, your body trusting his, your eyes still looking at him like he had given you pleasure instead of becoming a danger to survive, frightened him.Ā
You touched his jaw. āYou did not hurt me.ā His face tightened. You softened your voice. āJungkook.ā He looked at you. āYou did not hurt me.ā This time, he listened.Ā
He made you drink water anyway. Then he disappeared only long enough to return with a damp cloth and the kind of aching care that should have embarrassed you but instead made something insideĀ youĀ ache. He cleaned you slowly, checking your face with every movement, pausing whenever your breath changed, murmuring apologies when there was nothing to apologize for. You let him because care was easier for him than being cared for, and becauseĀ maybe love, for now, meant accepting the language he knew until he trusted another.
When he finished, he checked your wrist one more time. āIt is only a mark,ā you said. His thumb moved over the faint red line. āIt is my mark.ā The words came out low. Almost ashamed. Almost possessive. Your body warmed again through the exhaustion. His eyes lifted to yours, and the look there made your breath catch. Not ownership. Something more dangerous because it was more vulnerable. Responsibility. Wonder. Want, still. You took his hand and pressed it flat over your heart. āIt was my choice.āĀ Jungkookās throat moved. āYes.ā Then he bent and kissed the inside of your wrist.Ā
Later, when you were clean, warm, and half asleep against his chest, you traced a finger along one of the tattoos near his chest. He smelled like summer again. Clean skin. Warm sheets. Something impossible beneath all that darkness. āYou are very intense,ā you murmured. His hand moved slowly over your back. āThat sounds diplomatic.ā āIt is not.ā His mouth touched your hair. You smiled against his skin. For once, he did not tell you to sleep. He only held you, one arm around your waist, his other hand resting over the wrist he had tied, as if even in rest he needed to make sure the place where you had trusted him stayed warm.Ā
Outside, Black Loom continued bleeding. Inside, for one night, the dark did not get to have either of you. Morning came softly. You woke tangled in sheets andĀ Jungkook, your wrist faintly tender, your body heavy in a way that made your face warm when memory returned.Ā JungkookĀ was awake, because of course he was, propped slightly against the pillows, one arm around you, eyes lowered to your face. For a moment, neither ofĀ youĀ spoke. Sunlight touched the edge of the curtains. His house was quiet. Your body remembered him with every small ache, every warm place, every mark left byĀ rope and mouthĀ and hands that had asked before taking anything.Ā JungkookĀ looked at you as if heĀ wasĀ waiting for regret. You shifted closer instead. His arm tightened around you. Only then did he breathe.Ā
āYou did not sleep,ā you murmured.Ā
āI slept.āĀ
āYou are lying.āĀ
āA little.āĀ
You made a sleepy sound of disapproval and pressed your face against his chest. His body went still, then relaxed by degrees, as if even after everything, being held was harder for him than holding. For three days, life became almost cruel in its gentleness. You made coffee badly on purpose so he would take over. He pretended not to notice. You worked at the kitchen table while he worked beside you instead of vanishing into the workroom for hours. V sent files and pretended not to know whyĀ JungkookĀ sounded less homicidal on calls. You ate takeaway on the sofa with your legs tucked beneath you andĀ Jungkookās hand resting absent-mindedly near your ankle as if touch had become a place he was learning to return to. The red rope stayed folded in his bedside drawer. Not hidden. Not displayed. Known.Ā
The world did not become safe. You were not foolish enough to believe it had. But for those few days, danger moved around the edges instead of standing in the room with you. YouĀ wokeĀ beside him. You watched him make coffee. You caught him looking at you when he thought you were reading. You kissed him in the hallway and felt the way his restraint still faltered, even now, as if each touch surprised him by being allowed. On the fourth day, the message came. It arrived on one ofĀ Jungkookās dead channels, an old contact route that should not have been reachable by anyone outsideĀ aĀ very smallĀ number of ghosts. No sender. No signature. Only seven words. We see the ghost beside the lamb.Ā JungkookĀ read it once. Then again. YouĀ watchedĀ his face close. Not with fear. Fear would have been easier. This was calculation turning cold enough to freeze the air.Ā
āWhat isĀ it?āĀ youĀ asked. He locked theĀ screen.Ā
āJungkook.ā He looked at you, and the softness of the last few days disappeared behind something older.Ā
āThey may know who I am.āĀ
The sentence did not fully make sense at first.Ā JungkookĀ was careful.Ā JungkookĀ was impossible.Ā JungkookĀ was the man who saw everything before it reached you. Then you remembered the ballroom.Ā Jinās eyesĀ onĀ his gloved hand. His smile whenĀ JungkookĀ said only,Ā WithĀ her.Ā WhyĀ he cameĀ out of the dark forĀ you.Ā Your stomach tightened. āDo they?āĀ
āI do not know.āĀ
āIsĀ it proof?āĀ
āNo.āĀ
āThen it could be bait.āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āBut you are already planning toĀ send me away.ā HisĀ silence answered. YouĀ stood too quickly. āNo.āĀ
āLittle lambāāĀ
āNo.ā YourĀ voiceĀ sharpened, fear turning itself into anger because anger wasĀ easier toĀ stand on. āYou do not get to do that. You do not get to make thisĀ decision alone becauseĀ someoneĀ sent a message.āĀ
āIf it isĀ trueāāĀ
āIf it isĀ true, we deal with it.āĀ
āIf it isĀ true, being near me putsĀ you in direct danger.ā YouĀ stared at him. āI am already in direct danger.āĀ
āNot like this.āĀ
āDo not do that.ā HisĀ jaw tightened. āDo what?āĀ
āDecide that your fear is logic and my choice is emotion.ā That hit. You saw it hit. For a second,Ā JungkookĀ looked as if you had opened a wound he had been trying to keep clean. Then the mask returned.Ā
āI need to isolate,ā heĀ said. āI need to know whether they have a name, a face, a pattern, a location, or only a pressure point. If they have compromised anything connected to me, I cannot investigate properly while keeping you here.āĀ
āThen I go to my boss.āĀ
āNo.āĀ
āMy penthouse.āĀ
āNo.āĀ
āAnotherĀ safe house.āĀ
āNo.āĀ
āSoĀ Haven,ā youĀ said bitterly. HisĀ mouth did not move. You laughed once, withoutĀ humour. āYou already calledĀ V.āĀ
āI am going to.āĀ
āOf course.āĀ JungkookĀ steppedĀ closer, butĀ stopped when youĀ stepped back. That hurt both of you. You saw it in the way his hand flexed once at his side before going still.Ā
āI am notĀ sending you away because I regret anything,ā heĀ said.Ā
āYou areĀ sending me away because you think you can protect me better if I am not close enough to be yours.ā HisĀ face changed. You had named it too accurately.Ā
āI amĀ sending you to people who can keep you alive if myĀ systemsĀ become unreliable.āĀ
āAnd what about what I choose?āĀ
āYou can hate me for it.āĀ
āI do not want to hate you.āĀ
āI know.ā You looked awayĀ sharply. He wentĀ silent. That phraseĀ again. That instinctive,Ā soft, terrible phrase he used when he understood too much andĀ still did the thing that hurt. Your eyesĀ burned.Ā
āIĀ stayed,ā youĀ said. āI told you that wasĀ myĀ vow.āĀ
HisĀ voice dropped. āAnd I am trying to make sure you live long enough to regret it if you need to.ā The words landed like a slap because you understood what lived beneath them. Everyone leaves. Everyone regrets him. Everyone eventually sees too much and chooses daylight.Ā JungkookĀ was trying to give you an exit by force before the world took theĀ optionĀ away. YouĀ stepped close again, anger breaking open into something more fragile. āI am not them.āĀ
āI know.āĀ
āNo, you do not.ā YourĀ voiceĀ shook. āYou think you do, but you do not. Because if you knew, you would understand thatĀ sending me away without letting meĀ stand beside you doesĀ not feel like protection. It feelsĀ like you are taking myĀ vow and deciding it belongsĀ to you.ā HisĀ face went pale beneath the low light. For a moment, you thought he mightĀ break. Instead, he reached for hisĀ phone.Ā
āVĀ will be here in twenty minutes.āĀ
You stared at him. Then you nodded once, because if you spoke, something worse than anger would come out. You packed in silence. Not much. TheĀ VVVĀ laptop. The secure phone. Clothes. Files. The red rope stayed in the drawer, and the sight of it nearly undid you.Ā JungkookĀ saw you look. He said nothing. That was worse. WhenĀ VĀ arrived, he did not joke. That told you everything. Haven took you in like a locked hand. Your room there was small but safe, with a bed, desk, reinforced door, no windows, and systems you knewĀ JungkookĀ had checked even if he was not there.Ā VĀ gave youĀ newĀ access routes, a secure message channel, and a look that held too much sympathy for a man who knew better than to offer comfort cheaply.Ā
āHe is doing this because he is afraid,āĀ VĀ said afterĀ JungkookĀ left. You stared at theĀ closed door.Ā
āI know.āĀ
āNot of them.ā Your eyesĀ moved to him.Ā VāsĀ expression wasĀ quiet. āOf being theĀ reasonĀ you get hurt.ā YouĀ swallowed hard.Ā
āI know that too.āĀ
For the next few weeks, you lived in Haven and hated every minute ofĀ safety. You worked becauseĀ stopping would have broken you faster.Ā VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici gave you documents, intelligence, fragmentsĀ of Black LoomāsĀ structure.Ā VĀ checked on you without making it obvious.Ā Your bossĀ called and offered to increaseĀ security enough to move you back to the penthouse if you wanted, but youĀ said no before he finished.Ā He understood. You heard it in hisĀ silence.Ā
āIf I ever had to identify aĀ severed finger of yoursĀ because I let my guard down,ā heĀ said quietly, āI would never forgive myself.ā You closed your eyes.Ā
āI know.āĀ
This time, the words were yours, and they hurt no less.Ā JungkookĀ messaged through secure channels. He sent short updates: No proof yet. Still checking. Stay inside.Ā VĀ hasĀ theĀ new packet. Sleep if you can. Eat something. Do not use the third terminal today. I saw the route issue. It is handled. You replied with case notes, arguments, anger folded into analysis,Ā small detailsĀ you refused to let become pleas. He responded to all of it except the parts where love pressed tooĀ visibly against the words. Around the fourth week, you found the email.Ā
Not because someone handed it to you. Because you had started learning howĀ VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici thought. BecauseĀ JungkookĀ had taught you thatĀ deletedĀ did not always mean gone, that older men with too much power and too little technical humility often believed empty folders were graves instead of shallow soil. The message came from an executive-team channel tied to Black Loom. ToĀ Jin. Coded language. Half-letters. Location fragments. Urgency hidden under formality. Your pulse changed as you read it. Then you read it again. And again. By the timeĀ VĀ reached your desk, you had three maps open, two partial translations, and a list ofĀ possible coordinates.Ā
āYou foundĀ something,ā heĀ said. You did not look away from theĀ screen.Ā
āI found him.āĀ VĀ leaned closer. His face changed. NotĀ surprise. Confirmation. You picked up the secure phone and messagedĀ Jungkook.Ā
You: We need to meet.Ā
HisĀ reply came three minutesĀ later.Ā
Jungkook: Is it urgent?Ā
You looked atĀ JināsĀ name on theĀ screen.Ā
You: Yes.Ā
Another pause. Then:Ā
Jungkook: I will pick you up.Ā
YouĀ stared at the message until the lettersĀ blurred. For four weeks, you had wanted toĀ see himĀ so badly that wanting had become part of your breathing. Now heĀ wasĀ coming. And Black Loom,Ā somewhere beyond all your walls, kept weaving.Ā
JungkookĀ came for you in the rain. Of course he did. By then, you had started to believe that all important things in your life happened beneath bad weather: warnings, escapes, revelations, the first time you saw his face, the first time he carried you through the threshold of his house like the world had finally become too cruel to let you walk alone. RainĀ hadĀ become part of the language between you. Water overĀ windows. Static in cameras. Wet roads under expensiveĀ tyres. The city blurredĀ until onlyĀ dangerĀ and hisĀ voice remained clear.Ā
VĀ walked you to the underground exit at Haven without saying much. He had givenĀ JungkookĀ the files already through an encrypted channel, but you carried the physical paperwork anyway: printouts, diagrams, coded fragments, maps, names, three separate notebooks, and a folder so thick it barely closed. SomeĀ partĀ of you needed the weight of it in your hands. Proof that the last four weeks hadĀ not only beenĀ waiting. Proof that separationĀ hadĀ not made you useless.Ā JungkookĀ was outside the inner door, hood pulled up, black coat damp at the shoulders, face sharper than memory and worse for it.Ā
For four weeks, you had seen him only through messages and theĀ acheĀ those messages left behind. Sleep if you can. Eat something.Ā VĀ hasĀ theĀ new packet. No proof yet. Stay inside. Do not use the third terminal today. I saw the route issue. It is handled. Now heĀ wasĀ real again. You stopped. So did he.Ā V, wisely, looked at neither of you.Ā Jungkookās eyes moved over your face first. Then your shoulders, your hands, the files, the dark circles beneath your eyes that no amount of stubbornness had managed to hide. He looked like he wanted to touch you and had decided before arriving that he would not let himself. That hurt more than if he had stayed away.Ā
āYou found the email,ā heĀ said.Ā
Your mouth almost trembled. You pressed it into a line. āI foundĀ Jin.ā His gaze changed. NotĀ surprise. Not exactly. Recognition.Ā VĀ opened the exterior door. āHouse route is clean. Two alternatesĀ ready. I will keep the Haven channel open.āĀ JungkookĀ nodded. āThank you.āĀ
āBring her back if anything flickers.āĀ
āI will.āĀ
You looked between them. āI am standing right here.āĀ Vās expressionĀ softenedĀ by a fraction. āThat is usually the problem, maāam.āĀ JungkookĀ shot him a look.Ā VĀ did not look sorry.Ā
The drive back toĀ Jungkookās houseĀ felt like sittingĀ beside a wound that refused to bleed. You had imagined this moment too many times during the nights at Haven. In someĀ versions, you were angry. In others, you reached for him theĀ second the carĀ door closed. In the weakestĀ versions, the ones you hated yourself forĀ most,Ā you begged him not to send you away again.Ā In reality, youĀ sat with the folder on your lap and watched rain move across the windshield whileĀ JungkookĀ drove in silence. His hands were bare on the wheel. You noticed that before you noticed anything else. No gloves. No barrier. Just the same hands that had tied red rope around your wrists with reverence and later touched each mark as if even chosen restraint requiredĀ apology.
āHow bad isĀ it?āĀ heĀ asked. You forced yourself back intoĀ the work. Work wasĀ safer. Work had edges.Ā
āWorse than we thoughtĀ structurally. Cleaner than we thought digitally.āĀ
HisĀ gaze flicked toward you. You opened the folder. āThe email wasĀ not meant to exist outside a closed channel, butĀ someone older in the executive chain got lazy orĀ scared.Ā Maybe both. It wasĀ deleted, butĀ not properly buried.Ā VĀ helped me recover the residue.āĀ
āOlder members,āĀ JungkookĀ said.Ā
āTheyĀ still think deleted meansĀ gone.ā He looked back at the road. āUseful arrogance.āĀ
āThat isĀ what IĀ said.āĀ
His mouth almost softened. Almost. That tiny almostĀ hurtĀ too. At the house, nothing had changed and everythingĀ had. Your mug was still in the cabinet. The throw still lay over the sofa. The workroom door was still at the end of the hall. His bed was still somewhere beyond rooms you hadĀ memorisedĀ too intimately to pretend they were only shelter. You laid the paperwork across the kitchen table, then theĀ living-roomĀ floor when the table became too small.Ā JungkookĀ changed into black clothes and came back with coffee you had not asked for. You accepted it without looking at him because your hands were notĀ steady yet. Then you began.Ā
The email gave you theĀ shape of a territory.Ā JinĀ wasĀ not merely a charming Black Loom figure who liked hearing himselfĀ threatenĀ people under chandeliers. HeĀ sat at the executive level, or close enough that the distinction barely mattered. One executive per region. Korea. U.S. routes. Japan.Ā Several othersĀ marked only by initialsĀ and codedĀ symbols. Under each executive, three major operatives: the peopleĀ VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici hadĀ started calling Black LoomāsĀ hyenasĀ because right handĀ sounded too respectful for men who fed on what othersĀ killed.Ā
āThey expand by offering power first,ā youĀ said, kneeling beside aĀ spread of mapsĀ and files. āHospitalĀ access.Ā Security. Protection. Donations. Political backing. IfĀ someone influential cooperates, Black Loom givesĀ them more influence. If they refuse, or if they are too ethical to be usefulāāĀ
JungkookĀ stood over the map, one hand at his mouth, eyes moving through patterns faster than you could say them. He had always looked dangerous behind aĀ screen, butĀ seeing him with paper and evidence around him made something old and legal in your chest ache. You had once believed truth only mattered if it could be carried cleanly into court. Now you were sitting on the floor of aĀ hackerāsĀ house with illegally obtained intelligence spread across your knees, trying to decide which parts of it could be purified enough to hurt monsters publicly. YouĀ hadĀ changed already. You did not yet know how far. For hours, you spoke andĀ JungkookĀ listened. You explained coded structures, territorial assignments, names that repeated across witness statements and donor boards, locations connected to transport routes,Ā missing-personĀ overlaps. Every time yourĀ voiceĀ caughtĀ from exhaustion, he noticed. Every time your hand trembled, his eyes dropped to it.Ā
He did not interruptĀ to tellĀ you to rest. He knew you would refuse.Ā SoĀ he waited until you reached for a folder near his knee, then caught your hand gently before you could lift it. You looked up.Ā JungkookĀ was already kneeling in front of you. The room went quiet around the two of you, though no machine had stopped humming, no rain had stopped falling, no danger had left the city. He turned your hand over and kissed your knuckles. Once. Slowly. Your breath caught so sharply it embarrassed you. His mouth lingered against your skin. Not enough to become something else. Enough to tell you he had missed you in aĀ languageĀ he trusted more than speech.Ā
āJungkook,ā you whispered.Ā
HisĀ eyesĀ lifted. The hunger in them wasĀ not hidden well enough. Four weeksĀ at Haven had not onlyĀ separated you from hisĀ house. They hadĀ separated you from hisĀ hands, hisĀ coffee, hisĀ bed, hisĀ body beside yoursĀ in the morning, theĀ red rope folded in a drawer like aĀ secret both of you had touched andĀ survived. You had missed him with a desperation that made you angry at your own heart. But heĀ had missedĀ you too. You couldĀ see it now in the way he held your hand asĀ if letting go too quickly would reveal too much. You could have reached for him then. Part of you wanted to. Instead, youĀ slid your fingersĀ aroundĀ his.Ā
āIf you want to take a break,ā youĀ saidĀ softly, āwe can take a break.Ā YouāreĀ safe here for now. If you want to have a nap orĀ some coffee, just tell me andĀ weāllĀ do that.Ā YouāreĀ safe with me.āĀ
JungkookĀ wentĀ very still. You had watched him build safety around you for months. Routes. Cameras. Firewalls. Doors. Warnings. Systems. Touch. Tea. Proof. You had never seen anyone give it back to him. That was why the words hurt him. His eyes lowered to your joined hands. For a moment, he looked younger. Exposed in the way of a man who had not expected to be offered shelter by the person he was trying to protect.Ā
āI do not know how to do that,ā heĀ said.Ā
āThen we learn.ā HisĀ thumb moved once over your knuckles.Ā
āTogether?āĀ heĀ asked. Your chest ached.Ā
āTogether.āĀ
The break became takeaway on the sofa because neither of you trusted yourselves to make proper decisions near a bed yet. You ate noodles from cartons, knees tucked beneath you, documents still covering half the floor.Ā JungkookĀ sat close enough that your thigh touched his. Neither of you moved away. For a while, you let yourselves pretend that the world had shrunk to warm food, rain, and the quiet glow of lamps. ThenĀ JungkookĀ told you about the missing-person files he had found. You told him about the deleted email residue. He said older Black Loom members were going to become the weak point. You said arrogance usually was. He looked at you then, and the softness that passed between you was almost unbearable.Ā
āI want to come back,ā youĀ said. HisĀ faceĀ closedĀ by a fraction. You hated that fraction.Ā
āTo the house,ā you clarified, though both of you knew what you meant. āTo this. The routine. Working here.Ā Sleeping here. Coffee that you pretend not to make exactly how I like it.āĀ
āIt isĀ notĀ safe yet.āĀ
āNothing is safe.āĀ
āThat is not the same answer.ā You turned slightly toward him. āIf they had anything else, would I still be in Haven?āĀ
āYes.ā No hesitation. That should have comforted you. It did, in the worst way.Ā
āWhat did the message say?ā you asked.Ā JungkookĀ looked at the window.Ā
āJungkook.āĀ
āIf they had sent anything else, you would still be in Haven,ā he said again.Ā
āThat is not an answer.āĀ
āIt is the only useful one tonight.ā You stared at him, then looked away before anger could become fear in aĀ shapeĀ he would blame himself for.Ā
āOne more day,ā he said quietly.Ā
You looked back. His mouth was tense. āWe try to figure everything out tomorrow. One more day before we decide whether you come back fully.ā It was not enough. It was more than he had given before.Ā SoĀ you accepted it.
Later, youĀ joked that you wanted a nap because the bed at Haven was not comfortable and V had the emotional range of a locked filing cabinet when it came to pillows.Ā Jungkookās mouth almost softened before he caught it.
āOf course,ā he said.
āLet me wrap up, and Iāll come lie with you.āĀ
The ordinary intimacy of that sentence nearly undid you. You kissed him softly before leaving the room, not deep enough to start what both of you were tryingĀ very hardĀ not to start on the living-room floor with Black Loom maps beside your feet. Just your mouth to his, a promise placed gently instead of urgently. He watched you go. Then he checked everything. Penthouse feeds. House perimeter. Haven channels. Building access logs. Network walls. Traffic patterns. Camera flickers.Ā Jinās known channels. Vās reports. Everything that could be checked, he checked, because Jungkook trusted love only after everyĀ possible dangerĀ had been forced to answer first.Ā
When he finally came to the bedroom, you were awake. Of course you were. He stood in the doorway, face shadowed, and for one second both of you were back in the workroom: the threshold, the vow, the knowledge that a door once opened could never become innocent again. Then he crossed the room. This time, there was no red rope. This time, there was only reunion. His mouth found yours with less ceremony and more ache, and when you pulled him closer by the front of his shirt, his breath broke against your cheek like he had been starving for the sound of you.
āDo you know what it did to me?ā he murmured.
āFour weeks without your hands on me. Four weeks knowing exactly where you were and still not being allowed to reach you.āĀ
For a while, you only kissed. That was the first true indulgence: not rushing because danger had trained both of you to count minutes, not apologising for wanting more than survival. His hands moved over your back, your waist, your face, returning again and again as if confirming that Haven had not swallowed you, that Black Loom had not stolen the warmth from you, that distance had not taught you to regret him. When you whispered his name, his forehead dropped to yours and he breathed like a man who had been holding his lungs closed for a month.
āAgain,ā he said, low and rough.
āSay it again. I need to hear it when I can touch you.āĀ
It was slower than the first time, but not softer for long. He undressed you with hands that paused whenever emotion threatened to outrun want, and you undressed him with the quiet certainty of someone no longer afraid of wanting him openly. He traced your wrists even without rope there, thumb moving over theĀ placesĀ red had once marked you.
āNo rope tonight,ā he said.
āNo rope.ā His eyes moved to yours.
āJust me.ā
āJust you.ā
His mouth touched the inside of your wrist.
āThen keep your hands on me. I want to feel you choose me without anything holding you there.āĀ
There were fewer words because your bodies remembered enough. Still, he asked. Quietly. Are you here? Are you tired? Do we stop? And each time, you answered by pulling him closer, by touching his face, by letting your mouth find the places stress had carved into him while you were separated. His shoulders. His throat. The tense line of his jaw.Ā JungkookĀ took every kiss like proof, and when your nails pressed into his back, his control slipped hard enough for you to feel it in the way his hips settled between yours.
āThere,ā he breathed against your mouth. āThat is what I missed. You not being careful with me.āĀ
When he finally let himself touch you the way he wanted, the hunger was softer around the edges but no less consuming. It had grief inside it now. Relief. Four weeks of restraint turning into heat. Four weeks of messages, coded channels, locked doors, and sleep that never truly came, all of it unwinding beneath his hands. He moved over you with one hand beneath your lower back, lifting you into him, the other locked around your thigh as if the shape of you against him was the first thing that had made sense in weeks.
āI thought about this,ā he admitted, voice wrecked.
āYou in my bed again. Your legs around me. Your voice saying my name like I had earned the right to come home.āĀ
When he moved into you, the whole room seemed to narrow to warmth, breath, rain, and the way he looked at you like the world had made one good thing and then placed it under threat. He was still careful. He would always be careful with you. But beneath the care was hunger, and beneath the hunger was the grief of four weeks spent choosing distance for the sake of safety. The vow was already there in the way you opened for him, in the way his hand slid beneath your back, in the way he paused every time your breath changed and moved again only when your body answered yes.
āStay with me,ā he said, mouth at your jaw.
āNot in Haven. Not in the case. Not with him. Here. Under me. With me.āĀ
He took his time because there had not been enough time. Because there might not be enough again. Because the house was quiet, the maps were waiting, V was hunting coordinates,Ā JinĀ was somewhere inside the web, and still, for this hour, Jungkook let himself be a man coming home to the only person who had ever made the dark feel survivable. Your pleasure came slower this time, rolling through you in waves instead of breaking all at once, and he followed it patiently at first, then deeper, less clean around the edges when your body tightened around him.
āThat sound,ā he whispered, almost ruined.
āI thought about that in every room you were not in.ā
When he finally broke apart above you, silent and shaking, you held his face between your hands and kissed him as if you could give him somewhere to come back to.Ā
Afterward, he checked you the way he always did. Water. Blanket. Wrist. Face. Breathing. You let him because care was easier for him than being cared for, and because you had learned that sometimes love meant accepting the language someone knew until they could learn another. When he finally lay beside you, you curled into him. His hand moved over your back, slower now, less vigilant for a few impossible minutes.Ā Ā
āSleep,ā he murmured.Ā
āYouĀ first.ā A pause. Then, softly, āBossy.āĀ
āMaybe I am.āĀ
His breath warmed your hair. You smiled with your eyes closed. For one more night, the dark let you keep him.
By morning, Veni Vidi Vici had found the location.Ā JungkookĀ read the message while standing barefoot in the kitchen, hair damp from a shower, black shirt clinging slightly at the shoulders. You were making coffee badly on purpose, mostly because it had become one of the few harmless ways to irritate him. His expression changed before the phone lowered.Ā
āWhat?ā you asked.Ā
āV found the place.āĀ
The cup in your hand stilled.Ā JungkookĀ turned the screen toward you. The White Sanatorium. The name looked wrong in the clean black text of the message. Too elegant. Too clinical. Too pure for something connected to Black Loom. Vās message continued beneath it: abandoned hospital wing, private mountain estate, officially unused for years, recent movement suspected. Your stomach tightened.Ā
āWhite,ā you said.Ā
āFalse purity,āĀ JungkookĀ replied.Ā
āOrgan trafficking.āĀ
āLikely.ā YouĀ set the cup down. āWe need to go.āĀ
āNo.ā You looked at him. HisĀ eyesĀ narrowed. āDo notĀ start.āĀ
āThen do notĀ say no like I am not part of this.āĀ
āYou are part of this. That isĀ the problem.āĀ
āThe problem isĀ that I am the only one here who knowsĀ how to readĀ some of those filesĀ in context.āĀ
āVĀ can take pictures.āĀ
āVĀ doesĀ not have my legal eye.āĀ
āYour legal eye isĀ not bulletproof.āĀ
āNeither are you.ā He looked away first, which meant you hadĀ wonĀ and he hated that you had won. WhenĀ VĀ called, the argument continued with witnesses.Ā
āMotorcycle,ā youĀ said.Ā
JungkookĀ turned his head slowly.Ā V, on the screen, looked delighted and concerned at once. You pointed at the map. āIf the place is on a mountain estate, the car is tooĀ visible on narrow routes. Motorcycle is faster, less conspicuous, easier to abandon if we need to move on foot.āĀ JungkookĀ stared at you.Ā
āAnd we need at least three exits,ā you continued. āMain road,Ā service road, forest path if one exists. We do not enter until all three are mapped.āĀ
VĀ looked atĀ Jungkook. āShe is starting to sound like you.āĀ JungkookĀ did not answer. But he looked at you with something that moved through warmth into pain. Pride, you realized. And fear of what prideĀ meant. YouĀ went at night. The mountain roads were dark and narrow, trees pressing in on either side, leaves moving restlessly in the wind. You rode behindĀ Jungkook, helmet secured, arms around his waist, feeling the controlled power of the motorcycle beneath you and theĀ cold airĀ cutting through every seam of your clothes.Ā VĀ rode ahead for part of the route, then split off to take the second entrance.Ā
The White Sanatorium rose from the estate like a dead thing pretending to sleep. ItĀ hadĀ once beenĀ beautiful. That made it worse. Pale stone, long windows, ivy crawling over one side, a private drive cracked by weather and neglect. An old hospital wing attached to what might have been a wealthy familyās mountain retreat, abandoned officially, preserved unofficially, too expensive to decay honestly. White walls. Black windows. No lights.Ā JungkookĀ helped you off the motorcycle, his handĀ steady at your elbow. āStay close.āĀ
āI wasĀ planning to wander alone through the organ-traffickingĀ sanatorium.ā HisĀ eyesĀ flickedĀ toĀ you. YouĀ shrugged. āHumourĀ helps.āĀ
āNo, it doesĀ not.āĀ
āIt helpsĀ me.āĀ
āThen continue.āĀ
You almost smiled.Ā VĀ met you near a side entrance with two other TripleĀ VĀ operators. No one spoke loudly. No one used unnecessary light.Ā JungkookĀ checked the lock, then a device near the door, then nodded once. Inside, the air smelled of dust, cold metal, and something medicinal that should have faded years ago. Your breath fogged faintly. The corridors were long and pale, paint peeling inĀ strips,Ā old signs still mounted near doors: treatment rooms, storage, records, restricted access. Some areas were thick with dust. Others were not. That was the first sign of recent use. A lineĀ disturbedĀ near the wall. A clean patch onĀ a handle. FootprintsĀ tooĀ new to belong to a ghost.Ā JungkookĀ noticed everything. So did you,Ā now.Ā That frightened you more than the building.Ā
The deeper you went, the more the place stopped feeling abandoned and started feeling paused. As if Black Loom hadĀ stepped out minutes before you arrived and left the air holding its breath. In one records room, you found boxes stacked behind a cabinet that should have been too heavy to move. Inside were files. Missing people. Some old. Some recent. Your hands shook as you opened the first folder. A young woman. Twenty-two. Last seen near a clinic connected to one of the donor routes. No official closure. No family notified beyond a generic missing-person update. In the back of the folder, a notation you recognized from hospitalĀ logistics. Your throatĀ closed.Ā JungkookĀ stood beside you. He did not touch you, but his presence wrapped around the moment like a hand. You openedĀ another. And another.Ā
āRecently handled,ā you whispered. The dust along the folder edgesĀ had been disturbed.Ā Someone had touched these within days,Ā maybe weeks.Ā VĀ appeared in the doorway. āWe have two more roomsĀ like this.āĀ
āPhotograph everything,āĀ JungkookĀ said. āDo not move more than we need.āĀ
You kept reading. That was yourĀ flaw, maybe. Or your strength. You kept reading even when it hurt. You read because someone had to know their names as names, not entries, not routes, not inventory. You read untilĀ Jungkookās hand finally closed gently over the folder.Ā
āEnough.ā You looked up.Ā
āWe need to move,ā heĀ said.Ā
Something in hisĀ voice made you stop arguing. He turned slightly, eyes moving to the corner of the room. A tiny red blink reflected once in the glass of an old cabinet. Camera. Active. Watching. Your blood went cold.Ā JungkookĀ did not react outwardly. He did not swear. He did not grab you. He simply looked atĀ VĀ in the doorway and said,Ā very calmly, āWe have what we need.āĀ Vās expression did not change either. But one of the operators behind him disappeared down the corridor.Ā JungkookĀ took the folder from your hand, closed it, and placed it exactly where it had been. Then he turned to you.Ā
āWe are leaving.āĀ
You nodded once. The walk out felt longer than the way in. Every corridor seemed to haveĀ acquiredĀ eyes. Every dark doorway looked less empty.Ā Jungkookās hand remained at your back, guiding but not rushing, whileĀ VĀ moved ahead and the second operator took the rear. The building did not stop you. That made it worse. Outside, theĀ cold airĀ hit hard.Ā VĀ swung onto his motorcycle without a word and left first, fast enough that gravel spat behind theĀ tyres.Ā JungkookĀ put your helmet on you himself, fingersĀ carefulĀ beneath your jaw.Ā
āJungkook,ā you said quietly.Ā
āNot here.āĀ
He got on the motorcycle.
You climbed behind him.
He did not take the road you had used toĀ arrive. You noticed within thirty seconds. The route bent left instead of down. Narrower. Darker. TreesĀ tighter. An escape route, not a return. Your arms tightened around his waist.Ā JungkookĀ covered one of your hands briefly with his own, then returned it to the handlebar. Not reassurance. Confirmation. Something had gone wrong. You did not go home. That told you more than any explanation could.Ā
JungkookĀ rode until the mountain thinned into coastal road, until trees gave way to dark water and the city became a distant glow behind you. He stopped near an empty stretch of beach where the wind moved cold off theĀ seaĀ and no one stood close enough to hear anything that mattered. When you removed your helmet, your hair whipped across your face.Ā JungkookĀ was already messagingĀ V. You waited. You had learned the difference between silence that hid and silence that worked. Finally, he said, āVĀ is checking the house.ā Your stomach dropped. āYou thinkĀ JinĀ knows it.āĀ
āI thinkĀ JinĀ wanted usĀ to find that place.ā TheĀ sea hissed against theĀ shore. You looked at him. āThe filesĀ were real.āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āThe camera wasĀ real.āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āSo why lead usĀ there?āĀ
JungkookĀ stared out at the water, face cut in profile by moonlight and distant road glow. āBecause he is not leaving clues by accident.āĀ Jin. The name sat between you like the red-wax invitation had once sat on the table.Ā
āHe wants us to follow,āĀ JungkookĀ said. āHe wants us to know enough to keep moving, not enough to finish it. He is careful. Too careful. The ballroom, the card, the email, theĀ sanatorium. They are not mistakes. They are doors.ā You wrapped your arms around yourself against the cold. āDoors to what?āĀ
āTo him.ā You looked away. The windĀ pushed atĀ your coat.Ā Somewhere beyond the dark water, unseen thingsĀ moved with the tide.Ā
āWhy?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā JungkookĀ did not answer quickly. That was how you knew the truth would hurt.Ā
āBecause I worked for him.ā The world narrowed. For aĀ second, theĀ sea, the road, the cold, theĀ sanatorium, all of it receded until only those wordsĀ remained. You turned backĀ slowly. āWhat?āĀ
āBefore,āĀ JungkookĀ said. āYears ago. Not under my name. Not my face. He never had that. I was a ghost even then. But he hired me through layers. Jobs. Systems. Information extraction. Protection, sometimes. Destruction, other times. I did not know the full structure at first.ā YourĀ voice came out tooĀ calm. āAnd then you did.ā His jaw tightened. āYes.āĀ
You absorbed that. ItĀ should have made youĀ step back.Ā Maybe aĀ better person would have.Ā Maybe theĀ version of you whoĀ still believedĀ systemsĀ sorted theĀ guiltyĀ from the damned would have reached for professional distance, legal logic, clean moral lines. But you had lived too close to the dark now to pretend everyone inside it had entered through theĀ same door.Ā
āWhat doesĀ he want?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā
āMe,āĀ JungkookĀ said. The answer was too immediate.Ā
āAnd you.ā That wasĀ worse. YouĀ swallowed. āWhy me?āĀ
āBecause you are useful. Because you hurt them. Because you understand cybercrime and law, which makesĀ you dangerousĀ in a way most hackersĀ are not. Because you do notĀ scare easily.ā HisĀ voice lowered. āBecause I came out of the dark for you.ā The beachĀ feltĀ suddenlyĀ colder.Ā
āThe ballroom,ā youĀ said.Ā
āHe watched us.āĀ
You thought ofĀ Jinās smile. With her. How devoted. WhyĀ he cameĀ out of the dark forĀ you.Ā The room had beenĀ bait. And you had both walked in beautifully dressed, hand at your back, heart alreadyĀ visible to someone who knew where to look.Ā JungkookĀ turned toward you fully. āI am too deeply in love with you to let him pull you into his world.ā The words struck harder because he did not dress them up. No poetry. No softness. Just truth. Your throat tightened around his name.Ā
He continued asĀ ifĀ stopping would kill him. āBeing away from you hurts. Being close to you hasĀ started hurting too because I cannotĀ stay away. I cannot get you out of my mind. Before I knew your face, I knew your routes. Your coffee order. How lateĀ you worked.Ā The way you asked aboutĀ victimsĀ before yourself. You were on myĀ screensĀ and in myĀ systemsĀ andĀ somehow my personal hellĀ started feeling like paradise because you were inside it.ā Your eyesĀ burned.Ā
āJungkook.āĀ
HeĀ shook hisĀ head once. āLiving with you made me feel normal. Happy. For the first time in years. And that terrifiesĀ me because nothing about my lifeĀ should feel normal to you.ā YouĀ stepped closer. āDoesĀ it feel wrong to love me?ā HisĀ face changed. That question hurt him differently.Ā
āNo,ā heĀ said. āThat isĀ the problem.ā You breathed inĀ shakily.Ā
āLoving you feelsĀ normal,ā heĀ said. āLike coffee in the morning and your filesĀ on my table and your mug in myĀ sink. Like a life I wasĀ neverĀ supposed to have. Loving you feelsĀ like the only gentle thing I have ever done without calculation, and that makesĀ itĀ suicide.āĀ
āDo you regret it?āĀ
āNo.ā The answer came before the fear. You closed the space between you and touched his coat.Ā JungkookĀ looked down at your hand as if itĀ wasĀ the one thing in the world capable of undoing him.Ā
āI can adapt,ā youĀ said. āI already have. I can learn patterns. I can detect danger. I can work withĀ V. I canāāĀ
āNo.āĀ
āYou do not get to decide what I can become.ā HisĀ eyesĀ lifted to yours. āI know what thisĀ world does.āĀ
āNo,ā heĀ said, and the quiet of it hurt more thanĀ volume would have. āYou know what it doesĀ toĀ victims. You know what it doesĀ in court. You know what it looksĀ like when it isĀ dragged into evidence. You do not know what it doesĀ when you live inside it long enough that youĀ start becoming useful to it.ā You wanted to argue. You could not find the wordsĀ fast enough. TheĀ sea moved behind him, black and endless.Ā
āIf going back to him is what it takes to keep you out of his reach,āĀ JungkookĀ said, āI would do it.ā Something inside you wentĀ very still.Ā
āThat isĀ not protection,ā you whispered. āThat isĀ surrender.āĀ
āFor me, maybe.āĀ
āFor us.ā HisĀ jaw tightened.Ā
āThere isĀ an us,ā youĀ said. āDo not insult me by pretending there isĀ not.āĀ
He looked at you then, and for one terrible second, everything he felt wasĀ visible. Love. Fear. Want. Grief before loss had even happened. Then his phone buzzed.Ā V.Ā
JungkookĀ read the message. House clean. No breach. No watchersĀ found. RoutesĀ stable. You should have been relieved.Ā JungkookĀ only looked colder. You returned home before dawn. Home. The word had changed again. The house was still warm, still safe, still full of your files and his coffee and the red rope in the drawer. ButĀ JungkookĀ movedĀ through it differently now.Ā Quieter. Further away though he stood in the sameĀ rooms. He checked the perimeter, then disappeared into the workroom without asking if you wanted tea. You stood in the hallway and watched the door close. Not fully. But enough.Ā
Over the next week, both of you worked like people trying to outrun a prophecy. You did not discuss the beach. Not directly. It lived beneath every exchange. In the wayĀ JungkookĀ avoided touching you unless necessary. In the way you pretended not to notice. In the wayĀ Vās messages became sharper, faster, more urgent as the evidence from The White Sanatorium unlocked other doors. The files were real. That wasĀ the cruelty.Ā JinĀ had baited you with truth. The Sanatorium recordsĀ connectedĀ to missing people, drug routes, mule movements, organ trafficking, private clinics, shell donors, hospital boards, and transport logs.Ā JungkookĀ andĀ VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici found the digital residue. You built the legal shape around it. Together, you made the evidence impossible to bury in one place. You did not send it toĀ oneĀ police station.Ā
You sent it to three. Then cybercrime. Then trusted prosecutors. Then two journalistsĀ throughĀ layers so thick evenĀ JungkookĀ seemed briefly satisfied. Anonymous packets. Location proof. Missing-person files. Drugs. Mules. Organ movement. Names connected to routes. Enough to makeĀ denialĀ expensive. Enough to make silence dangerous. Enough to turn Black Loomās own breadth against it. Over the next two weeks,Ā the publicĀ collapse began. People were brought in for questioning. Offices went dark. Hospital donors resigned from boards. Private security firms suddenly found themselves under investigation. Prosecutors who had spent years pretending not to see certain names were forced toĀ speakĀ them under pressure from other divisions. The news used careful language at first: alleged trafficking routes, suspected organized network, possible medical corruption. Then theĀ missing-personĀ names began leaking. Careful language became harder.Ā
Haven celebrated the dayĀ JinĀ wasĀ taken into custody. ItĀ should have felt likeĀ victory. For a few minutes, itĀ almost did. The underground room wasĀ louder than you had everĀ heardĀ it. Someone had brought alcohol.Ā Someone else had ordered enoughĀ food forĀ three timesĀ the number of people present.Ā ScreensĀ still ran operationsĀ in the background, but people wereĀ smiling, clapping one another onĀ shoulders, laughing in exhausted disbelief.Ā VĀ handed you a drink.Ā
āYou did good, maāam.ā You looked at theĀ screens, at the headlines, at the blurred photograph ofĀ JinĀ being guided through a private entrance by officialsĀ tryingĀ very hardĀ not to look afraid.Ā
āWe wounded them,ā youĀ said.Ā
Vās expression softened. āSometimes that is how empires start dying.āĀ JungkookĀ stood near the edge of the room, half in shadow, watching the celebration with a quiet expression you could not read. YouĀ crossed toĀ him, carrying two drinks, and held one out. He took it.Ā
āYouĀ should look happier,ā youĀ said.
HisĀ eyesĀ stayed on theĀ screenĀ showingĀ JināsĀ custody transfer.Ā
āI am thinking.āĀ
āYou are alwaysĀ thinking.āĀ
āYes.ā You leaned closer. āIsĀ everything fine?ā HisĀ phone buzzed before he answered. YouĀ saw only theĀ shift in hisĀ eyes. Tiny. Devastating. He looked at the message for no more than twoĀ secondsĀ before locking theĀ screen.Ā
āWhat isĀ it?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā
āNothing.āĀ
āJungkook.āĀ
He looked at you then. The room around you was celebrating.Ā VĀ was laughing with someone near the far table. A young operator raised a bottle in your direction. Screens glowed with the first public wound Black Loom had taken in years.Ā
JungkookĀ said, āEverything is fine.ā You wanted to believe him.
That was the last time you saw him. The first day he did notĀ answer,Ā you told yourself he was working.Ā JungkookĀ disappeared into systems sometimes. He lost hours,Ā half-days, nights. He wouldĀ resurface withĀ a new route, a warning, a packet of evidence, aĀ demand that you eat something.Ā SilenceĀ from him was not new. This silence was.Ā
By evening, your body knew before your mind would admit it. You messaged him again. No answer. You called. Nothing. You contactedĀ V. No reply for nine minutes. WhenĀ VĀ finally called, his face told you before his mouth did. You were back at Haven by then because you had not been foolish enough to stay at the house once the silence became wrong. OrĀ maybe youĀ had gone there because some part of you knew the house withoutĀ JungkookĀ would become unbearable, and Haven at least had witnesses for the moment your heart understood what had happened.Ā
āHasĀ he come back to you?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā VāsĀ jaw tightened.Ā
āNo.ā The room tilted.Ā
āHeĀ cutĀ connections,āĀ VĀ said. āAll of them. I cannot reach him.ā YouĀ sat down because your kneesĀ hadĀ stopped being reliable.Ā
āDid you know?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā VĀ did not pretend to misunderstand.Ā
āDid you know he worked forĀ Jin?ā TheĀ silence wasĀ answerĀ enough. Your breath left you.Ā
āYes,āĀ VĀ said quietly. āI knew.ā
You laughed once. ItĀ sounded nothingĀ like you. āOf course you did.āĀ
āI did not know he would go through with it.āĀ
āWith what?āĀ VĀ looked away. Your heart began to break before heĀ spoke.Ā
āHe told me,āĀ VĀ said, āthat if thingsĀ became too risky, he would go back to hisĀ old life.āĀ
The beachĀ returned. If going back to him isĀ what it takesĀ to keep you out of hisĀ reach, I would do it. Loving you feelsĀ likeĀ suicide. Another time, he hadĀ said, whenĀ VĀ asked if either of you wanted another drink afterĀ JinĀ wasĀ taken into custody. We can discussĀ it another time. Another time had never existed.Ā
āWhat didĀ JinĀ offer?āĀ youĀ whispered.Ā VāsĀ face wasĀ grave. āI do not know the exact terms.āĀ
āYes, you do.āĀ
āNo,ā heĀ said. āI can guess.ā You closed your eyes.Ā
āJungkookĀ returns,ā you said. āJinĀ removes me from the target list.āĀ
VĀ said nothing. The lack of denial finished what hope had been trying to survive. You pressed a hand to your mouth. Not to stopĀ a sob. Not yet. To hold yourself together for one more second because if you fell apart now, you were not sure there would be enough of you left to gather.Ā JinĀ would not stay behind bars.Ā JungkookĀ had knownĀ that. Too many lawyers. Too much blackmail. Too manyĀ people toĀ sacrifice in his place.Ā JinĀ did not need freedomĀ immediatelyĀ to be dangerous; he only needed leverage. AndĀ JungkookĀ had given him the one thing he wanted most. The best ghost he had ever had.Ā
OneĀ JungkookĀ was worth twenty top-tier hackers. Quality over quantity. You saw it then with sick clarity: the ballroom had not only been a threat. ItĀ had beenĀ an assessment.Ā JinĀ had looked atĀ Jungkookās hand on your back, his stillness beside you, the way he answered with her and nothing else, and understood exactly where to place the blade. He did not need to kill you. He needed to makeĀ JungkookĀ believe he could. Your lungs refused to fill properly.Ā VĀ crouched in front of you, careful not to touch without permission.Ā
āHe loved you,ā heĀ said. The past tense hurtĀ so badly you almost flinched.Ā
āDo not.āĀ
āHe lovesĀ you,āĀ VĀ corrected,Ā voiceĀ rougher. āHe would not have done thisĀ otherwise.āĀ
āThat doesĀ not make it better.āĀ
āNo.ā You looked at him through the blur in your eyes. āWhy did he bring me here?āĀ VāsĀ brow tightened.Ā
āTo Haven,ā youĀ said. āWhy did he bring me here if he knew he might leave?āĀ VāsĀ expression changed.Ā Softened. Broke, perhaps, inĀ the quiet way men like him allowed themselvesĀ to break.Ā
āYou are the only person he ever brought into Haven,ā heĀ said. āAnd that meansĀ something.āĀ
You stared at him. There wereĀ griefsĀ thatĀ knocked. There were griefs that entered without permission. This one moved into your chest and closed the door behind itself. The only person. Not a passing weakness. Not a mistake. Not a liability he had tolerated until he could remove you from danger. The only person he had brought into the place where his ghosts bowed, where his world lived beneath fluorescent light and encrypted walls. You had beenĀ theĀ exception. And heĀ had still left. That was the shape ofĀ Jungkookās love. A door opened for you. A body placed between you and the blade. AĀ vow made in red rope. A disappearance arranged like protection. You lowered your face into your hands and finally broke.Ā VĀ stayed.Ā
He did not tell you to breathe. He did not tell youĀ JungkookĀ would come back. He did not lie. He only stayed in front of you while the first wave of grief took you apart in the roomĀ JungkookĀ had once entered like an uncrowned king.
Later, when you could stand,Ā VĀ walked you to one of the protected rooms. You slept at Haven becauseĀ JungkookĀ would have wanted the perimeter checked, because even gone he had left instructions in everyoneās bones, because you did not know where else to put your body when the house still smelled like him and the world had become too large. You called your boss the next morning. For the first time since you had known him, you did not know how to sound strong.Ā
āI need toĀ stop working,ā youĀ said. He did not ask whyĀ immediately. That kindnessĀ nearly destroyed you.Ā
āAll right,ā heĀ said. You pressed the phone hard to your ear. āI cannot do it.āĀ
āThen you will not.āĀ
āTheĀ system failed,ā you whispered. āWe did everything. We brought evidence. We protected witnesses. We exposed them. WeĀ sent proof everywhere, andĀ stillāā YourĀ voice broke. āI could notĀ save him.ā Your bossĀ wasĀ quiet for a long time. Then heĀ said, gently, āCome home when you can.ā You almost laughed. Home. What a cruel word.Ā
āI do not know where that isĀ anymore.āĀ
āI know,ā heĀ said. āBut when you need me, I am here.āĀ
You tried to return to work twice. The first time, you opened a case file and stared at the first page until the words rearranged themselves intoĀ Jungkookās last message that did not exist. The second time, you made it through half a meeting before someone said proceduralĀ limitationsĀ and you had to leave because the phrase sounded too much like a coffin closing. The lawĀ had beenĀ your weapon. Your shield. Your faith, maybe, thoughĀ you would never have called it that.Ā
Now it felt like a locked door you had thrown your whole body against, only to realize the person you needed most wasĀ on the otherĀ side and the key had beenĀ purchasedĀ by a man likeĀ Jin.Ā SoĀ you quit. Your bossĀ did notĀ stop you. He looked older when you told him. Tired. Heartbroken in the restrained way of a man who had already lost too many people toĀ systemsĀ that asked for patience while monstersĀ adapted faster.Ā
āIf you ever need anything,ā heĀ said, āyou call me.ā YouĀ nodded,Ā handsĀ folded tightly in your lap. āThank you. For everything.āĀ
āYou do notĀ stop being mine because you leave the job,ā heĀ said.Ā
That wasĀ when you cried. NotĀ loudly. But enough.
Haven was the one place you chose to go.Ā VĀ found you in the main room hoursĀ later,Ā standing before a wall ofĀ screensĀ you did not yet know how to read properly.Ā
āI want you to train me,ā youĀ said. He did not lookĀ surprised. That made you angry.Ā
āNo,ā heĀ said. You turned.Ā
āNo?āĀ
āNo.āĀ
āYou do not get toĀ say no.āĀ
āI absolutely do.āĀ
āI need to learn.āĀ
āNo, you want to chase him.āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āAt least you are honest.āĀ
YouĀ stepped closer, grief burning cleanly into fury now. āTrain me.āĀ VāsĀ face hardened. āThisĀ isĀ not aĀ skill you learn andĀ stay clean.ā The roomĀ seemed toĀ quiet around you. He continued,Ā voice low. āYou touch thisĀ side ofĀ life,Ā it burnsĀ you. It doesĀ not leave because you decide you have had enough. It changesĀ how you think. What you can justify. What linesĀ lookĀ movable.Ā YouĀ still haveĀ something close to a normal life.ā You laughed. It came outĀ sharp enough thatĀ someone nearby looked over, then quickly away.Ā
āMy normal life isĀ gone.āĀ
āNot completely.āĀ
āJungkookĀ is gone.āĀ VĀ flinched.
āI could notĀ save him through the law,ā youĀ said. āI could notĀ save him by being clean.Ā I could notĀ save him by trusting that evidence and procedure and enough truth in enough placesĀ would be enough.Ā So do notĀ stand there and tell me to preserve a life that failed the one person I needed it toĀ save.āĀ VĀ stared at you for a long moment. Then he looked toward theĀ screens.Ā
āHe knew thisĀ would happen,ā heĀ said quietly. Your anger faltered.Ā
āJin,āĀ VĀ clarified. āNot the details. But the direction. He knew ifĀ JungkookĀ went back, you would follow the wound.ā You swallowed.Ā
āThen train me well enough to make him regret being right.āĀ VĀ closed hisĀ eyesĀ briefly. When he opened them,Ā something hadĀ shifted. Not approval. Resignation.Ā Grief, maybe.Ā
āIf I train you,ā heĀ said, āyou do exactly what IĀ say until you are good enough to argue.āĀ
āI can argue now.āĀ
āNo,ā heĀ said. āYou canĀ speak. You cannotĀ survive.ā You held hisĀ gaze.Ā
āFine.āĀ VĀ nodded once.Ā
āTomorrow morning,ā heĀ said. āSix.āĀ
You looked back at the screens, their light reflecting in your eyes. For months, you had been the womanĀ JungkookĀ protected from the dark. By morning, you would begin learning how to enter it. And somewhere, underĀ Jinās hand,Ā JungkookĀ would not know that the sacrifice he made to keep you clean had already begun to stain.Ā
Grief did not make you elegant. That was the first thing you learned afterĀ JungkookĀ disappeared. People liked to make grief beautiful when they spoke about it from a distance. They gave it clean metaphors.Ā EmptyĀ rooms. Rain onĀ windows. FlowersĀ leftĀ beside photographs. A black dress, a quiet woman, a candle burning in a room where no one spoke too loudly. Your grief was not like that. Your grief was ugly.Ā
It leftĀ dirtyĀ mugsĀ near your bed at Haven because you forgot to take them back. It made youĀ sleep inĀ clothesĀ you had worn for two days. It made you read theĀ sameĀ sentenceĀ sixteen timesĀ without understanding it. It made you furiousĀ when people asked whether you had eaten, then furiousĀ when theyĀ stopped asking because you had made it difficult to care for you. It made youĀ sit on the edge of a narrow bed in a windowlessĀ protected room andĀ stare at your handsĀ because you remembered red rope there and could not decide whether the memory felt like aĀ vow or a wound.Ā
For the first month, you stayed at Haven becauseĀ VĀ insisted and because some part of you understood thatĀ JungkookĀ would have wanted every route checked even after he was gone. That was the cruelty of him. He had left, and still his caution remained in the people around you like a second language. No one said his name unless youĀ didĀ first. That was worse.Ā
VĀ gave you a room, a terminal you did not yet know how to use properly, and enough space to fall apart without an audience. Your boss called every day for the first week, then every other day when you stopped answering like a person. He never sounded impatient. He never sounded disappointed. He had known you beforeĀ Jungkook, before Black Loom, before Haven, before your life became routes and cameras and encrypted phones. He had known theĀ version of you who believed that if truth was documented carefully enough, if evidence was preserved properly enough, if the argument was sharp enough and the right people were brave enough, the system could still be forced to work. You tried to return to her. You really did.Ā
The first time you opened a case file afterĀ JungkookĀ vanished, you sat with your laptop in front of you for three hours and read the first paragraph until the words blurred into black lines. The second time, you joined a remote meeting and lasted twenty minutes before someone said procedural limitations with the solemn confidence of a man who had never watched theĀ personĀ he loved trade himself to a monster because procedure could not move fast enough to save him. You turned your camera off. Then your microphone. Then you left the call andĀ vomited in the bathroom at Haven until there was nothing left in your body but shaking. The lawĀ had beenĀ your weapon. Your structure. Your clean blade. The thing you sharpened yourself against when grief first entered your life years ago and your boss found you standing in the ashes of a family you could not get back. He had taught you how to survive inside institutions without letting them swallow yourĀ voice. He had taken you in, not as a daughter exactly, not as a replacement for anything, but as something close enough that losing his disappointment would have broken youĀ almost asĀ badly as losing his love. When you told him you had to quit, he did not argue.Ā You sat across from him in his office, hands folded in your lap, wearing clothes that still looked like your old life from a distance.Ā Cream trousers. A black blouse. A coat cut well enough to suggest control. But your faceĀ hadĀ changed. You saw it in the way he looked at you. He knew what people looked like when something inside them had stopped negotiating with the world.Ā
āI cannot do it anymore,ā youĀ said. He leaned backĀ slowly.Ā
āThe system failed,ā you continued, because if you stopped speaking, you would either cry or take it back. āWe brought evidence. We protected witnesses. We sent proof to every place we could. We made it public enough that they could not bury all of it, and stillĀ JinĀ got what he wanted. StillĀ Jungkookāā His name cut you. Your bossās face tightened. You breathed through it. āI could not save him from himself. I could not save him fromĀ Jin. I could not save him by being good at my job.āĀ
āThat isĀ not your failure.āĀ
āIt feelsĀ like mine.āĀ
āI know it does.āĀ
You looked at himĀ sharply. He lowered hisĀ eyes, and for a moment, he wasĀ not your boss, not your mentor, not the man who had helped build you back into a functioning thing after loss. He wasĀ onlyĀ someone who knew thatĀ sometimesĀ the truth did not help fast enough.Ā
āI will notĀ stop you,ā heĀ said. āI wish I could. I wish I had the right. But I do not.ā Your throat tightened.Ā
āIf you ever need anything,ā he continued,Ā voiceĀ softer, āyou call me. Leaving the job doesĀ not mean youĀ stop being mine.āĀ
That wasĀ when you cried. Not with theĀ violence of Haven. Not the first-break kind of crying that left you on the floor withĀ VĀ outside the room pretending not to hear. ThisĀ wasĀ quieter. Worse, inĀ some ways. The kind of crying that came from being loved byĀ someone who could not follow you where you were going. You thanked him for everything. Then you left the last clean room of your old life.Ā VĀ wasĀ waiting at Haven when you returned. He wasĀ at a centralĀ terminal,Ā sleevesĀ rolled to hisĀ elbows, eyesĀ on three differentĀ screens. Around him, operatorsĀ moved through dim light, talking in lowĀ voices, drinking bad coffee, pullingĀ information from placesĀ where information did not want to be found. YouĀ stood near the entrance for a long moment, watching him work. Then youĀ said, āTrain me.āĀ VĀ did not turn aroundĀ immediately.Ā
āNo,ā heĀ said.Ā
āYou have not heard what I am asking.āĀ
āI have.āĀ
āYou do not even knowāāĀ
āYou want to become like him.ā The wordsĀ landed too close to the truth. YouĀ swallowed. āI want to find him.āĀ
āNo,āĀ VĀ said again, finally turning. āYou want to becomeĀ something that canĀ survive finding him.āĀ
The room around you kept working, but several people had gone quiet in that careful way people did when they were pretending not to listen.Ā VĀ stood. He was not as tall asĀ Jungkook. Not as silent. Not as dangerous in the same way. But he had survived in the same world long enough to understand its prices, and the expression on his face held no gentleness.Ā
āThisĀ isĀ not aĀ skill you learn andĀ stay clean,ā heĀ said.Ā
You lifted your chin. HeĀ stepped closer. āYou think you want tools. Access.Ā Systems. Infiltration.Ā Surveillance. Recovery. You think you want to learn how to pull a thread from the dark and follow it until it bleeds. But that isĀ not all thisĀ is. ThisĀ changesĀ how you think. It changesĀ what linesĀ look movable. It teachesĀ you that lawsĀ are locks, and every lock can be opened byĀ someone willing toĀ stop asking permission.āĀ
āIĀ stopped asking permission when permission failed him.āĀ VāsĀ face tightened. Good, you thought, and the cruelty of it did not frighten you asĀ much asĀ itĀ should have.Ā
āHe did thisĀ to keep you out,āĀ VĀ said.Ā
āHe left me outside with the door open.āĀ
āNo.Ā JinĀ left the door open.āĀ
āAndĀ JungkookĀ walked through it.āĀ
For a moment, neither ofĀ youĀ spoke. ThenĀ VĀ looked away first. That wasĀ how you knew you had won. Or how you knew you had both lost. Training began atĀ six the next morning.Ā VĀ wasĀ not kindĀ aboutĀ it. You were grateful for that.Ā
Kindness would have made you softer, and softness had become a thing you did not trust in yourself.Ā VĀ gave you basics first. Systems. Infrastructure. How networks wereĀ built.Ā How they failed. How people failed faster. How to trace without touching too hard. How to watch cameras without announcing yourself to the system watching the watchers. How to recover what had beenĀ deleted. How to understand the difference between absence and concealment. You hated being slow. You hated being corrected. You hated thatĀ JungkookĀ had made everything look like breathing when in reality it was a language built on patience, obsession, pattern recognition, and a willingness to sit with a locked door for hours until the door forgot why it had ever closed.Ā
āYou are rushing,āĀ VĀ said during the third week, leaning over yourĀ shoulder while youĀ stared at aĀ screen full of errors.Ā
āI am learning.āĀ
āYou are bleeding on the keyboard.ā You looked at him.Ā
āMetaphorically,ā heĀ said. āDo not be dramatic.āĀ
āI wasĀ not being dramatic.āĀ
āYou were about to.āĀ
You almost smiled. Almost. That was how the months passed. Not in healing, exactly. In conversion. Grief became discipline because grief without movement was going to kill you. Anger became study because anger alone made mistakes. Longing became pattern becauseĀ JungkookĀ had left traces in the way he thought, not deliberately, never carelessly, but in habits you had lived beside long enough to recognize now thatĀ VĀ taught you how to look.Ā JungkookĀ favouredĀ routes with redundancies hidden inside redundancies. HeĀ anticipatedĀ emotional mistakes better than logistical ones because he had spent monthsĀ anticipatingĀ yours. He never trustedĀ a single sourceĀ of truth. He built exits beforeĀ entrances. He touched systems as lightly as possible when he wanted to remain unseen andĀ violently when he wanted someone to know a ghost had entered the room.Ā
YouĀ learnedĀ him through absence. That wasĀ the cruelest education of all.Ā Some nights, after twelve hoursĀ at a terminal, you wouldĀ see a line of code bend in a way that reminded you of him andĀ have toĀ stand up before you broke the machine with your bare hands. Other nights, you would dream of the workroom: maps,Ā screens, hisĀ mouth on yours, the red rope around your wrists, hisĀ voice telling you that kissing him wasĀ aĀ vow. You would wake in Haven with your throat raw and your handsĀ empty, then go back to training becauseĀ sleep had nothing useful left to offer you. The first rule you broke wasĀ small.Ā SoĀ small it barely felt like a rule at all.Ā
A closed municipal camera archive tied to an old Black Loom route had beenĀ sealed underĀ investigationĀ access.Ā VĀ told you to wait because the pathway wasĀ noisy and the account attached to it could lead back to one of the few honest peopleĀ still inside theĀ system. You waitedĀ six hours. Then you found another way in.Ā VĀ found you at the terminal just before dawn, three windowsĀ open, camera footage downloading into a protected drive. HeĀ said your name once. You did not look away from theĀ screen. āI found theĀ van.āĀ
āThat wasĀ not the instruction.āĀ
āI found theĀ van.āĀ
āYou also created a trail.āĀ
āI killed it.āĀ
āYou think you killed it.ā That made you look at him.Ā VĀ leaned down, closed one of the windows, reopened another, andĀ showed you the footprint you had missed. Tiny.Ā Nearly invisible. Enough.Ā Shame and rage burned through you at once.Ā
āIf thisĀ had beenĀ JināsĀ system,ā heĀ said, āyou would have told him you were coming.āĀ
Your fingersĀ curled. He wasĀ not gentle when he removed your accessĀ for two days. You hated him for it. Then you learned.
By the first-year mark,Ā small rulesĀ hadĀ stoppedĀ satisfying you. You did not become reckless. That would have been easier forĀ VĀ toĀ stop. You became deliberate.Ā
You learned how to enter systems you had onceĀ submittedĀ warrants to access. You learned how to move through CCTVĀ networks the wayĀ JungkookĀ had once moved around your life, camera by camera, route by route, not to watch the innocent, but to find the guilty before they found you. You learned how to recover accounts, crack careless archives, map shell ownership,Ā identifyĀ decoy structures, andĀ pull onĀ Black Loom threads that had been left behind by people who believed money made them invisible. You also learned whatĀ VĀ had meant. This was not a skill you learned and stayed clean. The first time you breached a private server without permission and found proof tied to three missing women, you did not feel triumph. You felt the ground shift.Ā
Not because you regretted finding it. Because you did not regret the breach. That wasĀ the burn. Not the crime itself. The justification that came after. The clean, coldĀ voice insideĀ you thatĀ said,Ā I wouldĀ do it again.Ā And you did. Again. And again. You crossed linesĀ that would have ended your legal career if youĀ still had one. You moved throughĀ systemsĀ that could have put you in prison ifĀ someone caught theĀ shape of you. You lied to institutionsĀ you had once respected. YouĀ stole information from criminals, officials, and men whose public reputationsĀ stillĀ shone beneath plaquesĀ and donations. You broke into cameras, doors, archives, accounts. You learned where Black Loom had hidden old money and newer bodies. You learned how much of the worldĀ stayed clean only because dirt wasĀ stored elsewhere.Ā VĀ watched you become dangerousĀ with the grim resignation of a man who had predicted the wound andĀ still hatedĀ seeing itĀ scar.Ā
āYou are getting better,ā heĀ said one night.Ā
You were sitting in the dark, face lit blue by the terminal, dressed in black cargo trousers and a fitted black top beneath an open jacket. Your hair was tied back. Your oldĀ jewelleryĀ was gone except for one small piece you still wore because it belonged to aĀ version ofĀ youĀ JungkookĀ had known.Ā
āIsĀ that a compliment?āĀ youĀ asked.Ā
āIt isĀ a warning.ā You looked at him.Ā VĀ leaned against the desk beside you. āYou areĀ starting to enjoy being good at it.ā You turned back to theĀ screen. āGood. I need to be.āĀ
āThat isĀ not what IĀ said.āĀ
āNo. But it isĀ what matters.āĀ
For a while, he said nothing. Then, quietly, āHe would hate this.ā Your hands stilled. Not because it was untrue. Because it was.Ā JungkookĀ would hateĀ the blackĀ clothes,Ā the sleeplessness,Ā the illegalĀ access, the way your moral lines had blurred not because you stopped caring, but because you cared so much that clean hands began to feel useless. He would hate the calm with which you breached a camera feed. He would hate how well you had learned to think around corners. He would hate that you had learned it from his absence.Ā
āHe chose,ā youĀ said.Ā VāsĀ faceĀ softened withĀ pityĀ you did not want.Ā
āYes,ā heĀ said. āHe did.āĀ
You went back to work.
You did not ask whetherĀ JungkookĀ was alive. Not often.Ā VĀ did not haveĀ answersĀ he trusted. Sometimes a Black Loom operation failed in a way that felt too elegant to beĀ coincidence. Sometimes a route connected to you went cold beforeĀ VeniĀ VidiĀ Vici touched it. Sometimes a threat you had not yetĀ identifiedĀ disappeared from the board as if someone had erased it from the other side.Ā VĀ never saidĀ Jungkookās name when those things happened. He did not have to. You felt him anyway.Ā
Jinās deal had been too clever and too cruel. No messages. No calls. No ghost appearing on your screen with proof that he still existed somewhere beyond reach. Contact would cancel the agreement that kept you offĀ Jinās target list, andĀ Jungkook, who loved like self-destruction was a language, would obey that term if it killed him slowly.Ā SoĀ you learned to read absence as evidence.Ā A routeĀ cleared before you touched it. A Black Loom account collapsing from the inside. A cameraĀ feedĀ going dark at exactly the moment you needed it to.Ā JungkookĀ was out there, working underĀ Jin, wearing loyalty like aĀ maskĀ and hiding sabotage beneath obedience. He was protecting you without knowing what you hadĀ becomeĀ to protect him. That was the tragedyās symmetry. He hauntedĀ Jinās world from inside. You haunted it from outside.Ā
And neither of you couldĀ touch. By the end of the second year, people in the underground stopped looking at you like a lawyer who had wandered too far from court. They moved when you spoke. Not the way they moved forĀ Jungkook.Ā JungkookĀ was still a ghost story with aĀ pulse,Ā an absence large enough to command rooms he no longer entered. But you had become something else. A woman with a legal mind and hacker hands. Someone who understood which evidence could surviveĀ courtĀ and which truth had to be dragged through the dark before the court would ever see it. Someone who could read a contract, breach a shell company, dismantle a false timeline, and disappear from a camera grid before breakfast. You were not clean. You were not evil.Ā
You were what remained when a lawful woman learned that law alone could not save the man she loved. Your public faceĀ had faded. Your name still meant something in legal circles, but less as a person and more as a cautionary silence. Some thought you had burned out. Some thought Black Loom had scared you off. Some thought grief had made you fragile.
Let them. The less they understood, the longer you lived.Ā JinĀ understood more than most. That was why, two years afterĀ JungkookĀ disappeared, the invitation came again.
Not red wax this time.
No need for theatre.
A message through a broker who thought he was careful enough to survive both sides. A private contract request. Cyber/legalĀ expertise. High-level advisory work. International exposure. DiscretionĀ required. PaymentĀ obscene.Ā
VĀ read it over your shoulder.Ā
āNo,ā heĀ said.Ā
You did not answer. HeĀ swore under hisĀ breath. āAbsolutely not.ā You read the message again. It wasĀ notĀ signed byĀ Jin. Of course not. But hisĀ fingerprintsĀ were everywhere: the wording, the layeredĀ route,Ā the arrogance of assuming bait looked different when wrapped in professionalism.Ā
āHe knows,ā youĀ said.Ā
āHeĀ suspects.āĀ
āHe knows enough.āĀ VĀ stepped in front of you. āThis is not findingĀ Jungkook. This is walking intoĀ Jinās hand.ā You looked up at him. Two years ago, that might have frightened you more. Now, it clarified things.Ā
āThen we makeĀ sure he closesĀ it around a blade.āĀ VĀ stared at you for a long moment.Ā
āYouĀ sound like him,ā heĀ said. The wordsĀ should have hurt. They did. They also made you lift your chin.Ā
āNo,ā youĀ said. āIĀ sound like what he left behind.āĀ
VĀ looked away. Neither of youĀ spoke for a while.
Then heĀ said, āIf you go in, you may not come back out theĀ same.ā You almost laughed.
āV,ā youĀ saidĀ softly, āI did not come back out theĀ same two yearsĀ ago.āĀ
The meeting wasĀ arranged in a private room high above the city.Ā Not theĀ same hotel. Not theĀ same ballroom.Ā JinĀ did not repeatĀ stagesĀ unlessĀ repetitionĀ served him. ThisĀ place wasĀ colder,Ā sleeker, glass-walled on oneĀ side withĀ SeoulĀ spread beneath it likeĀ something owned. No chandeliers. No champagne. No old women in pearls. Just polishedĀ stone, black chairs, a long table, andĀ security that lookedĀ visible enough to distract from the invisible kind. You wore black.Ā
Not mourning exactly. Mourning had been what happened before you learned how to weaponize absence. This black was practical. Heavy boots. Loose dark trousers. A fitted top beneath a black jacket padded enough to hide shape and equipment. Your hair was tucked back. Your faceĀ calm. Your phone sat in your hand like a mirror, like anonymity, like every image of the woman you had become sinceĀ JungkookĀ left.Ā VĀ waited three streets away with five operators and more systems than the building knew it had. Your boss did not know where you were. That was kinder. Security checked you badly. You let them.Ā
The mistakesĀ people made around women had become useful over the years. They checked for obviousĀ weapons. They did not check properly for access. They looked at your face andĀ saw calm, notĀ threat. They looked at your history andĀ sawĀ lawyer, not ghost. They looked at your black clothesĀ andĀ saw grief, not training.
The door opened.Ā
JinĀ stood by the window.
He lookedĀ almost theĀ same.
That offended you.Ā
Some menĀ should have had the decency to wear their rotĀ visibly after time passed.Ā JinĀ looked polished, handsome, composed, the kind of man who couldĀ step from custody into private power because custody had only ever been another room to negotiate from. HisĀ smile arrivedĀ slowly when heĀ saw you.Ā
āWelcome backā heĀ saidĀ softly. You did not react to the phrase. You only looked at him.Ā
āJin.āĀ
āNotĀ SeokjinĀ anymore?āĀ
āNo.āĀ
His smile widened. āFair.ā YouĀ stepped inside. There were three other people in the room. A woman you did not know. Two men near the side wall. Security, but not only that.Ā Operators, maybe. Or witnesses. PeopleĀ JinĀ wantedĀ presentĀ for the shape of the moment. Then you saw the fourth.Ā JungkookĀ stood half inĀ shadowĀ near the far end of the room. For one second, your body forgot the two years between you.Ā
He was still dressed in black, but differently now. Cleaner. Colder. Less like the man in the warm old house and more like the ghost people had feared before you taught him how to be touched. His hair was longer at the front, falling slightly into his eyes. His face was thinner. Beautiful still. Painfully. But hollowed by restraint, by obedience worn like wire beneath the skin, by two years of surviving inside the life he had returned to so yours could remain untouched. Untouched. The word nearly made you smile.Ā JungkookĀ looked at you. No one said your name. He knew you anyway.Ā
You saw the recognition move through him like a wound reopening. Not in the dramatic way ofĀ widenedĀ eyes or aĀ step forward.Ā JungkookĀ was too controlled for that. It happened inĀ the stillness. In theĀ wayĀ his hand flexed once at his side. In the slight shift of his breathing. In the way his gaze moved over your black jacket, your boots, the equipment-hidden lines of your silhouette, your calm face, the woman standing where the lawyer he left behind should have been. He understood beforeĀ JinĀ spoke. Of course he did. He had always been the first to see the danger.Ā JinĀ turned slightly, watchingĀ JungkookĀ watch you. There was the reason. The real reason you had been invited. Not only your skills. Not only your legal mind. Not only cyberĀ expertiseĀ bought through a private contract. Punishment.Ā JinĀ wantedĀ JungkookĀ to see theĀ consequenceĀ of his sacrifice. He wanted him to understand that leaving had not preserved you in sunlight. It had not sent you back to courtrooms, coffee shops, silk blouses, polished arguments, and legal routes clean enough to sleep beside. It had not saved you from the dark. ItĀ had givenĀ you directions.Ā
āOur new cyber/legalĀ specialist,āĀ JinĀ said,Ā voiceĀ smooth withĀ satisfaction. āI believe you two have overlapping interests.āĀ
JungkookĀ did not look at him. He looked only at you. For two years, you had imagined this moment in too many forms. YouĀ had thoughtĀ you might cry. You had thought you might hate him. You had thought you might run to him, strike him, forgive him, break him, beg him, save him. You had thought your heart would make the decision before your mind could stop it. But when the moment came, you did none of those things. You stood in the roomĀ JinĀ owned, wearing the darknessĀ JungkookĀ had tried to keep from your skin, and held his gaze with a calm face.Ā
You let him see you. All of you. The lawyer. The ghost. The wound. The consequence.
TheĀ vow that had not died just because he had tried to bury it under protection.Ā
Jungkookās mouth parted slightly, but no sound came.Ā Maybe yourĀ name lived there.Ā Maybe anĀ apology.Ā Maybe everyĀ word that had been forbidden for two years by a deal he had made with a monster who smiled at love like leverage. YouĀ did not makeĀ him choose one yet. You looked atĀ Jin.Ā
āI understand you needĀ someone who knowsĀ the law well enough to break around it.āĀ
Jinās eyes lit with pleasure.Ā JungkookĀ closedĀ his. Just once. As if the sentence had gone through him.Ā JinĀ gestured toward the table. āPlease. Sit.ā You walked forward. Not towardĀ Jungkook. Not away from him either. Past him, close enough that the air changed, close enough that you caught the faintest trace of him beneath the colder room, beneathĀ Jin, beneath two years of distance and silence and deals made in the dark.
Summer.
Still.
Your hand brushed the back ofĀ a chair.Ā Jungkookās gaze droppedĀ toĀ it.Ā
For a moment, you thought ofĀ redĀ rope around your wrists.
His mouth on each mark after. The workroom. TheĀ vow.
I have been staying for months,Ā Jungkook. That was myĀ vow to you.
He had left anyway.Ā SoĀ youĀ had learnedĀ how to stay in a different shape. You sat atĀ Jinās table. You opened the black folderĀ VĀ had prepared. You smiled without warmth. And across the room,Ā JungkookĀ finally understood the cruel arithmetic of what he had done.
He had not saved the woman he loved from the dark.
He had made the dark learn her name.Ā
JungkookĀ had left to save her from the dark.
SoĀ she learned how to walk through it.Ā
Synopsis: When your sister tries to steal Seungmin, he makes one thing painfully clear: he only has eyes for you.
A/n: omgg this took so long to edit ive been putting this off for ages but i finally did it! I also couldnāt help but sprinkle in some poly skz x reader lmaooa
Wc: 20.1k
The first warning came when your sister texted you three times that morning to ask exactly when you and Seungmin would be arriving.āØāØThe second came when she opened the front door wearing a dress you distinctly remembered her describing as far too nice for family things.
āØāØYou looked at her.āØāØShe looked at you.
Neither of you said anything for a moment.āØāØThen Seungmin appeared behind you, one hand holding a neatly wrapped cake box and the other resting comfortably against the small of your back.āØāØāHi,ā he said brightly.āØāØYour sisterās entire expression changed.
āSeungmin.ā She smiled as though she had been expecting him personally. āFinally.āāØāØYou glanced over your shoulder at him.āØāØHe glanced down at you.āØāØHis eyebrows lifted slightly.
Finally?āØāØYou bit the inside of your cheek.āØāØYour sister stepped aside to let you both in, although she somehow managed to position herself so Seungmin had to pass close to her. He murmured a polite thank you and guided you ahead of him with a gentle hand at your waist.āØāØYou had been dating long enough that the gesture barely registered anymore. Seungmin was always touching you in small, absent-minded waysāhis fingers brushing yours as you walked, his palm settling on your knee beneath tables, his hand finding the back of your coat when you crossed a road.
It was rarely dramatic.āØāØIt was simply constant.āØāØYour sister noticed.āØāØHer gaze dropped to his hand before moving back to his face.
āYou look different in person,ā she told him.āØāØSeungmin paused while removing his shoes.āØāØāDo I?āāØāØāBetter.ā
You turned away before either of them could see your smile.āØāØSeungmin placed his shoes neatly beside yours, then leaned closer to whisper, āAm I supposed to say she does too?āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāGood.ā
You elbowed him lightly.āØāØHe caught your arm and squeezed it against his side, looking pleased with himself.āØāØYour sister was still watching.āØāØāYou brought something?ā she asked, nodding towards the box in his hand.
āCake,ā Seungmin said. āYour mum said she liked the one from that bakery near our flat.āāØāØāThat was thoughtful.āāØāØāShe sent him a photograph of it with the address circled,ā you said.āØāØSeungmin looked offended.
āShe provided helpful guidance.āāØāØāShe threatened to disown me if we arrived without it.āāØāØāStill thoughtful.āāØāØāYou didnāt even pay for it.ā
āI carried it.āāØāØāYou made me carry it on the train.āāØāØāFor part of the journey.āāØāØāYou said your arm hurt.ā
āIt did.āāØāØāBecause you spent the entire morning playing games.āāØāØSeungmin smiled at your sister. āShe has no sympathy for my suffering.āāØāØāNone,ā you confirmed.
Your sister laughed a little too enthusiastically.āØāØNot because the conversation had been particularly funny, but because Seungmin was smiling while he said it.āØāØYou noticed.āØāØYou also noticed the way she tucked her hair behind her ear before asking, āDo you want me to take that for you?ā
She reached for the cake.āØāØSeungmin shifted it away automatically.āØāØāNo, itās all right. Iāve been entrusted with it.āāØāØāHeāll cry if anything happens to it,ā you said.
āIāll tell your mum it was your fault.āāØāØāYou see what I live with?āāØāØSeungmin bumped his shoulder against yours. āYou love it.āāØāØYou opened your mouth to disagree.
He looked down at you expectantly, the beginnings of a grin already pulling at his lips.āØāØYou hated how well he knew you.āØāØāWhatever,ā you said.āØāØāThere it is.ā
He bent and pressed a quick kiss to your temple before following the sound of your mother calling from the kitchen.āØāØYour sister remained by the door with you.āØāØShe watched him leave.āØāØThen she looked at you.
āYou never said he was that handsome.āāØāØYou blinked. āYouāve seen photographs.āāØāØāPhotographs are different.āāØāØāI suppose.ā
āHeās taller than I thought.āāØāØYou stared at her.āØāØShe stared back, seemingly unaware that there was anything strange about the intensity of her assessment.āØāØāDo you need his measurements?ā you asked. āI can check the label in his coat.ā
She rolled her eyes.āØāØāI was only saying.āāØāØāRight.āāØāØāYou donāt have to be weird about it.ā
āIām not being weird.āāØāØāYouāre doing that face.āāØāØāWhat face?āāØāØāThe face you do when you think youāre funny.ā
āI am funny.āāØāØāSeungmin clearly thinks so.āāØāØThere was something strange beneath the words. Something slightly too pointed.āØāØBefore you could decide whether you had imagined it, she smiled and linked her arm through yours.
āCome on. Mumās been panicking over lunch for an hour.āāØāØShe pulled you towards the kitchen as though nothing had happened.āØāØYou let her.āØāØAt that point, it was easier.
ą±Øą§
Your mum adored Seungmin.āØāØThat was hardly news.āØāØShe adored him because he arrived on time, complimented her cooking, remembered details from conversations they had months ago and always insisted on helping clear the table.āØāØYour dad liked him because Seungmin could discuss football with convincing enthusiasm and had once spent nearly forty minutes helping him fix a temperamental television.
Even your relatives who had only met Seungmin briefly tended to approve of him.āØāØHe was polite without seeming rehearsed, funny without demanding attention and attentive in a way that made people feel remembered.āØāØYour sister had apparently taken all of these qualities as an invitation.āØāØAt first, you didnāt think much of it.
She asked him about work. Normal.āØāØShe asked about the other members. Also normal.āØāØShe asked whether he enjoyed travelling, what food he liked and whether he preferred going out or staying at home.āØāØA little interview-like, perhaps, but not particularly suspicious.
Then she moved from the chair opposite him to the empty one beside him when your mother asked her to fetch another plate.āØāØYou looked at the abandoned chair.āØāØThen at her.āØāØShe smiled innocently and crossed one leg over the other.
Seungmin glanced towards you.āØāØYou were sitting on his other side, close enough that your knees touched beneath the table.āØāØHe nudged your foot.āØāØYou nudged him back.
His mouth twitched.āØāØYour sister leaned towards him.āØāØāSo,ā she said, āwhat did you think when you first met her?āāØāØYou nearly inhaled your drink.
Seungmin turned towards you slowly.āØāØāOh, no,ā you said.āØāØHis eyes brightened.āØāØāOh, yes.ā
āDonāt.āāØāØāI thought she was very strange.āāØāØYour mother laughed from the other end of the table.āØāØYou stared at him. āThat isnāt what you said before.ā
āYou told me not to embarrass you in front of your family.āāØāØāAnd this is you behaving?āāØāØāThis is me being generous.āāØāØYour sister laughed, resting her hand against Seungminās arm.
It was light. Brief enough that she could claim it meant nothing.āØāØStill, you saw it.āØāØSeungmin looked down at her fingers.āØāØYour sister removed them a moment later, smiling as though the contact had been accidental.
āWhat did you actually think?ā she asked.āØāØSeungmin looked back at you.āØāØThe teasing softened around the edges.āØāØāI thought she was pretty.ā
The answer was simple enough to make warmth spread through your chest.āØāØThen his smile returned.āØāØāUntil she spoke.āāØāØYou kicked his shin beneath the table.
He flinched dramatically.āØāØāSee?ā he told your family. āViolence.āāØāØāYou deserved that.āāØāØāI complimented you.ā
āYou immediately ruined it.āāØāØāI said you were pretty.āāØāØāYou said I was strange.āāØāØāYou are strange.ā
Your sister tilted her head.āØāØāI suppose you must usually date girls who are quite different from her.āāØāØThe sentence slipped into the conversation so smoothly that it took you a second to understand it.āØāØSeungmin frowned slightly. āDifferent how?ā
Your sister shrugged.āØāØāYou know. Moreā¦ elegant.āāØāØYour father suddenly became very interested in cutting his food.āØāØYour mother looked up.
You glanced down at yourself.āØāØYou were wearing a jumper and trousers. Nothing particularly inelegant, unless your sister was counting the tiny mark on your sleeve from where Seungmin had flicked sauce at you in the kitchen.āØāØSeungmin followed your gaze.āØāØThen he looked at your sister.
āNo,ā he said. āI like this one.āāØāØYou pressed your lips together.āØāØāThis one?ā you repeated.āØāØHe patted your knee beneath the table.
āMy favourite.āāØāØāIām so flattered.āāØāØāYou should be.āāØāØYour sister laughed, but there was something strained about it.
āI only meant that you seem very put together.āāØāØāIām not,ā Seungmin said cheerfully. āShe found me looking for my phone this morning while I was talking to someone on it.āāØāØHe looked towards your mother. āYou raised a very critical daughter.āāØāØYour mum smiled. āShe gets it from me.ā
āGood to know.āāØāØThe conversation moved on, but your sister did not return to her original chair.āØāØEvery few minutes, she found another reason to address Seungmin directly.āØāØDid he like the food?
Had he visited the restaurant she mentioned?āØāØDid he think her hair looked better dark or light?āØāØThat one made you turn.āØāØShe lifted a section of her hair between her fingers.
āIāve been thinking of changing it,ā she explained. āWhat do you think?āāØāØSeungmin blinked.āØāØāI donāt know.āāØāØāYou must have a preference.ā
āFor your hair?āāØāØShe laughed as though he had made a joke. āGenerally.āāØāØHe looked at you.āØāØYou had stopped pretending not to listen.
A hint of mischief appeared in his expression.āØāØāI like hers.āāØāØYou narrowed your eyes. āYou said Iād look good bald.āāØāØāYou would.ā
āThat doesnāt count.āāØāØāIt shows versatility.āāØāØYour sisterās hand fell from her hair.āØāØāYouāre lucky,ā she told you.
The words sounded pleasant.āØāØThe way she looked at Seungmin did not.āØāØYou raised an eyebrow. āI know.āāØāØāI mean, youāve never really cared about things like that.ā
āThings like what?āāØāØāYour appearance.āāØāØSilence settled over the table.āØāØIt wasnāt complete silence. Your fatherās fork scraped faintly against his plate, and the clock in the hallway continued ticking.
But the conversation stopped.āØāØYour sister smiled as though she had offered you a compliment.āØāØāYouāve always been confident enough not to bother,ā she added.āØāØYou knew this routine.
It had existed long before Seungmin.āØāØYour sister would say something cruel with a pleasant expression, and if you reacted, she would insist you had misunderstood. That she admired your confidence. That she wished she could leave the house without making an effort. That you were lucky not to care what people thought.āØāØNormally, you could ignore it.āØāØToday, the comment felt particularly childish.
You opened your mouth, but Seungmin spoke first.āØāØāShe spent forty minutes choosing that jumper.āāØāØYou turned towards him in disbelief.āØāØYour sister laughed.
Seungmin continued, āThen she asked me which trousers looked better and ignored my answer.āāØāØYou nudged his side with your elbow.āØāØHe caught your hand before you could pull it away and linked your fingers beneath the table.āØāØThe gesture was concealed from everyone else.
His thumb brushed once over your knuckles.āØāØYou understood what he was doing.āØāØHe hadnāt ignored your sisterās comment.āØāØHe had simply refused to let it settle over you.
āShe looks lovely,ā your mother said firmly.āØāØāShe does,ā Seungmin agreed.āØāØYour sisterās smile tightened.āØāØāI never said she didnāt.ā
āNo one said you did,ā you replied.āØāØHer gaze met yours.āØāØFor a moment, something sharp passed between you.āØāØThen Seungmin squeezed your hand and leaned close enough that his shoulder pressed against yours.
āYou have something on your face,ā he whispered.āØāØYou immediately touched your cheek. āWhere?āāØāØāThe other side.āāØāØYou touched the other cheek.
āNo, lower.āāØāØāSeungmin.āāØāØāA little lower.āāØāØYou glared at him. āThereās nothing there, is there?ā
He smiled.āØāØāYouāre so easy.āāØāØYou tried to pull your hand from his.āØāØHe tightened his grip.
āDonāt be sulky.āāØāØāI hate you.āāØāØYour sister watched the exchange with an unreadable expression.āØāØYou barely noticed.
ą±Øą§
After lunch, your mother attempted to stop Seungmin from helping with the dishes.āØāØSeungmin ignored her.āØāØHe rolled his sleeves to his elbows, collected the empty plates and followed you into the kitchen.āØāØYour sister followed him.
Naturally.āØāØāYou donāt have to do that,ā she told him, taking a plate from his hands.āØāØāItās fine.āāØāØāYouāre a guest.ā
āSo is she.āāØāØSeungmin nodded towards you.āØāØYou were leaning against the counter eating a piece of cake.āØāØYour sister looked at you.
āSheās family.āāØāØāShe isnāt helping.āāØāØāIām supervising,ā you said.āØāØāYouāre eating the dessert we havenāt served yet.ā
āIām checking it for poison.āāØāØSeungmin set the plates beside the sink.āØāØāAnd?āāØāØYou took another bite.
āStill collecting evidence.āāØāØHe reached towards your plate.āØāØYou moved it out of reach.āØāØāGet your own.ā
āI bought it.āāØāØāI paid for it.āāØāØāWith our money.āāØāØāWe donāt have shared finances.ā
Your sister laughed again.āØāØāYou two are funny.āāØāØYou glanced at her.āØāØThe compliment sounded genuine enough, but her eyes remained fixed on Seungmin.
He turned on the tap.āØāØYour sister stepped beside him.āØāØāIāll wash,ā she offered.āØāØāI can do it.ā
āYou dry, then.āāØāØYou watched her pick up a sponge.āØāØYour mother called your name from the living room, asking whether you could help her find something.āØāØYou pushed yourself away from the counter.
āDonāt eat my cake,ā you warned Seungmin.āØāØāI would never.āāØāØāYou absolutely would.āāØāØHe placed one hand over his heart.
āYour lack of trust is upsetting.āāØāØYou pointed the fork at him. āIāll know.āāØāØāGo away.āāØāØYou reluctantly carried the plate with you.
As you left the kitchen, you glanced back.āØāØYour sister had moved slightly closer to Seungmin.āØāØHe was focused on rinsing a plate.āØāØYou nearly stayed.
Then you caught yourself.āØāØIt was your sister.āØāØSeungmin was your boyfriend.āØāØNothing was going to happen because the two of them spent ninety seconds alone beside a sink.
You found your motherās glasses on top of her head, endured several minutes of her insisting she had already checked there and returned to the kitchen.āØāØYour sister was speaking.āØāØāā¦must get tiring.āāØāØSeungmin passed her another plate. āWhat does?ā
āDating someone so different from you.āāØāØYou stopped just outside the doorway.āØāØSeungmin didnāt appear to notice you.āØāØHe frowned. āYouāve said that a few times.ā
āI donāt mean it badly.āāØāØāWhat do you mean?āāØāØYour sister dried the plate slowly.āØāØāYouāre very disciplined. Ambitious. You take care of yourself.ā
He waited.āØāØāAnd she isnāt?āāØāØāSheās just more relaxed.āāØāØSeungmin looked down at the soapy water.
You knew that expression.āØāØHe was choosing his words.āØāØYour sister mistook his silence for agreement.āØāØāIāve always been more like you,ā she continued. āEven when we were younger. People used to say I was the more responsible one.ā
āDid they?āāØāØāAnd the more confident one.āāØāØSeungmin made a small sound that could have meant anything.āØāØYour sister smiled.
āItās funny, really. Most people usually notice me first.āāØāØHe glanced at her.āØāØāOkay.āāØāØYou pressed your lips together.
She appeared thrown by the response.āØāØāI donāt mean to sound arrogant.āāØāØāThen donāt.āāØāØThe answer was delivered so lightly that for a second, you wondered whether you had heard him correctly.
Your sister laughed uncertainly.āØāØāIām only being honest.āāØāØSeungmin rinsed another plate.āØāØāAbout people noticing you?ā
āYes.āāØāØāCongratulations.āāØāØYou had to cover your mouth.āØāØYour sisterās eyes narrowed slightly.
āYou must have noticed that weāre quite different.āāØāØāIāve noticed.āāØāØāIām probably more like your usual type.āāØāØSeungmin finally turned off the tap.
He looked at her properly.āØāØāWhatās my usual type?āāØāØYour sister leaned one hip against the counter.āØāØāConfident. Sophisticated.ā
āAre you asking me or telling me?āāØāØāIām guessing.āāØāØāYouāve guessed wrong.āāØāØShe smiled as though he were teasing her.
āHave I?āāØāØāYes.āāØāØSomething about his tone should have ended the conversation.āØāØIt didnāt.
Your sister lowered her voice.āØāØāSheās always been the sweeter one, I suppose. Men tend to like that.āāØāØSeungmin stared at her.āØāØThen his gaze moved past her shoulder and found you standing in the doorway.
His expression changed immediately.āØāØThe irritation disappeared behind a slow, knowing smile.āØāØāHow long have you been there?ā he asked.āØāØYour sister turned sharply.
You lifted your plate.āØāØāLong enough to know youāve been having a very interesting discussion about your type.āāØāØSeungmin dried his hands.āØāØāApparently, I have one.ā
āDo you?āāØāØāIām learning a lot today.āāØāØYour sister straightened. āWe were only talking.āāØāØāI heard.ā
āThereās no need to make it strange.āāØāØYou stepped into the kitchen and placed your half-finished cake on the counter.āØāØāI didnāt.āāØāØāNo, but youāre doing that thing where you act territorial.ā
Seungminās eyebrows rose.āØāØYou laughed. āTerritorial?āāØāØāYou donāt need to hover every time another woman speaks to your boyfriend.āāØāØāI was helping Mum.ā
āAnd then you came straight back.āāØāØāBecause this is where my cake is.āāØāØSeungmin immediately reached for your plate.āØāØYou slapped his hand away.
āSee?āāØāØHe looked wounded.āØāØāYou care more about that cake than you care about me.āāØāØāThe cake has never stolen my crisps.ā
āIt would if it could.āāØāØYour sister sighed.āØāØāYouāre both impossible.āāØāØāThank you,ā Seungmin said.
You picked up your fork again.āØāØYour sister gave you a long look before placing the tea towel on the counter.āØāØāIām going to see if Mum needs anything.āāØāØāShe doesnāt,ā you said. āHer glasses were on her head.ā
Your sister ignored you and left.āØāØYou waited until her footsteps had faded down the hall.āØāØThen you turned towards Seungmin.āØāØHe was already looking at you.
A smile pulled at your mouth.āØāØāYour usual type?āāØāØHe groaned and leaned back against the sink.āØāØāPlease donāt.ā
āSo much like her.āāØāØSeungmin reached for you.āØāØYou dodged around the kitchen island, laughing when he followed.āØāØāIām only being honest,ā you said, mimicking your sisterās voice.
āYouāre enjoying this far too much.āāØāØāApparently sheās the woman of your dreams.āāØāØāMy dreams have better conversational skills.āāØāØYou gasped. āThat was mean.ā
āIt was accurate.āāØāØHe moved to one side of the island.āØāØYou moved in the opposite direction.āØāØāI thought you liked confident women.ā
āI like you.āāØāØāThat wasnāt the question.āāØāØāItās my answer.āāØāØāYouāre only saying that because I caught you.ā
āCaught me doing dishes?āāØāØāSeductively.āāØāØāI was wearing rubber gloves.āāØāØāExactly. Very provocative.ā
Seungmin stopped.āØāØYou stopped too, watching him suspiciously from across the island.āØāØHis expression softened.āØāØāDid that bother you?ā
The question was quiet enough to dissolve some of your amusement.āØāØYou considered it.āØāØāNot really.āāØāØāNot really?ā
āI donāt think youāre secretly going to run away with my sister.āāØāØāThatās reassuring.āāØāØāIād give you at least a week before you begged me to take you back.āāØāØāA week?ā
āMaybe four days.āāØāØSeungmin looked offended. āI wouldnāt make it through the first evening.āāØāØYou smiled.āØāØHe continued to watch you.
āBut?ā he prompted.āØāØYou looked down at your cake.āØāØāShe does that sometimes.āāØāØāDoes what?ā
āCompares us.ā You scraped your fork lightly through the icing. āShe always has. She thinks sheās being subtle.āāØāØāShe isnāt.āāØāØāI know.āāØāØāShe also thinks Iām an idiot.ā
You laughed. āWhy?āāØāØāBecause Iāve said I like you at least twelve times today, and sheās decided that means Iām interested in her.āāØāØāMaybe youāre sending mixed signals.āāØāØāI asked her to move because she was standing on my foot.ā
āVery flirtatious.āāØāØāShe apologised and touched my arm.āāØāØāScandalous.āāØāØāSheās touched my arm six times.ā
āYou counted?āāØāØāI started counting when she asked whether I thought she looked better with dark hair.āāØāØYou laughed again, and Seungmin smiled.āØāØThen he walked around the island.
This time, you let him reach you.āØāØHis hands settled on your waist, drawing you between his knees as he leaned back against the counter.āØāØāFor the record,ā he said, āI donāt think youāre lucky.āāØāØāNo?ā
āNo. I think Iām incredibly brave.āāØāØYou flicked his shoulder.āØāØHe caught your wrist and kissed your palm.āØāØāAnd lucky,ā he added.
āThat was nearly sweet.āāØāØāDonāt tell anyone.āāØāØYou rolled your eyes, but your arms slipped around his shoulders.āØāØHe tilted his head.
āAre you sure youāre okay?āāØāØāIām fine.āāØāØāYour sisterās being strange.āāØāØāShe thinks she can steal you.ā
āCan she?āāØāØYou pretended to consider it.āØāØSeungmin pinched your side.āØāØYou squealed and tried to twist away, but he trapped you against him.
āAnswer carefully,ā he warned.āØāØāI donāt know. She is very sophisticated.āāØāØAnother pinch.āØāØāAnd confident!ā
He attacked your other side.āØāØYou dissolved into helpless laughter, nearly dropping your fork as you attempted to escape.āØāØāSeungmin!āāØāØāWrong answer.ā
āSheās your type!āāØāØāTake it back.āāØāØāNever!āāØāØHe caught both your wrists in one hand and used the other to tickle your waist.
You kicked uselessly at his legs.āØāØāYouāre horrible!āāØāØāTake it back.āāØāØāFine!ā you gasped. āShe isnāt your type.ā
āAnd?āāØāØāAnd you donāt want her.āāØāØāAnd?āāØāØYou stared at him, breathless.
His hair had fallen over his forehead during the struggle, and his smile was bright and boyish and entirely too pleased.āØāØāAnd youāre obsessed with me.āāØāØāThere we go.āāØāØHe released your wrists.
You immediately smacked his chest.āØāØSeungmin laughed and caught you against him again, pressing a noisy kiss to your cheek before you could complain.āØāØāYouāre very annoying,ā you told him.āØāØāYou were laughing.ā
āAgainst my will.āāØāØHe kissed your other cheek.āØāØāStill counts.āāØāØFootsteps sounded in the hallway.
You both separated just before your mother entered the kitchen.āØāØShe looked at Seungminās messy hair, your flushed face and the abandoned washing-up.āØāØNeither of you spoke.āØāØYour mother sighed.
āThe dishes, Seungmin.āāØāØāI was doing them.āāØāØāHe attacked me,ā you said.āØāØāYou provoked me.ā
Your mother pointed at the sink.āØāØāBoth of you.āāØāØāYes, Mum,ā you said.āØāØāYes, Mum,ā Seungmin echoed.
You turned to glare at him.āØāØHe smiled innocently.āØāØYour mother left the room shaking her head.āØāØSeungmin bumped his hip against yours as he turned the tap back on.
āPass me the sponge.āāØāØāYou pass me the sponge.āāØāØāItās closer to you.āāØāØāYouāre closer to the sink.ā
He looked towards the doorway, then lowered his voice.āØāØāDo you think your sister would do it for me?āāØāØYou stared at him.āØāØHe managed to hold a serious expression for approximately two seconds.
Then you shoved the sponge directly into his chest.
ą±Øą§
When you finally prepared to leave, your mother packed enough food for several days into a bag and made Seungmin promise to visit again soon.āØāØYour sister stood in the hallway while you put on your coat.āØāØāYouāre leaving already?ā she asked.āØāØāWeāve been here for five hours,ā you said.
āIt doesnāt feel that long.āāØāØSeungmin bent to tie his shoelace.āØāØYour sisterās gaze lingered on him.āØāØāYou should come over more often.ā
āWe will,ā you replied.āØāØāI meant Seungmin.āāØāØHe looked up.āØāØYour sister smiled. āYou donāt need to wait for her. Youāre practically part of the family now.ā
There it was.āØāØNot quite enough to confront.āØāØMore than enough to notice.āØāØSeungmin straightened.
āI think sheād be upset if I visited without her.āāØāØāI wouldnāt,ā you said. āIād enjoy the peace.āāØāØHe placed one hand on top of your head and pushed down lightly.āØāØYour sister laughed.
āYouāre very patient with her.āāØāØSeungmin looked at you.āØāØāNo,ā he said. āSheās patient with me.āāØāØFor once, there was no joke attached.
His hand slid from the top of your head to the back of your neck, thumb brushing softly beneath your hair.āØāØYour sisterās smile faded for half a second.āØāØThen it returned.āØāØāWell,ā she said, opening the door, āit was lovely seeing you.ā
āYou too,ā Seungmin replied politely.āØāØShe hugged you first.āØāØIt was brief.āØāØThen she turned towards Seungmin.
You expected her to offer a wave.āØāØInstead, she wrapped her arms around him.āØāØSeungmin froze.āØāØHis hands hovered uncertainly beside her shoulders.
Your eyes widened.āØāØOver your sisterās head, his gaze found yours.āØāØHis expression was so openly alarmed that a laugh burst out of you.āØāØYour sister released him.
āWhatās funny?āāØāØāNothing.āāØāØSeungmin stepped immediately towards you.āØāØYou were still laughing as he took the bag of food from your hand and placed his other arm securely around your shoulders.
Your sister glanced between you.āØāØāText me when youāre home.āāØāØāI will.āāØāØShe looked at Seungmin. āYou have my number, donāt you?ā
āNo,ā he said.āØāØāOh.ā She paused. āI thought you did.āāØāØāWhy would he?ā you asked.āØāØāIn case of an emergency.ā
Seungmin nodded. āIāll call emergency services.āāØāØYou choked on another laugh.āØāØYour sisterās mouth tightened.āØāØāI only meant if something happened with you.ā
āHe has Mumās number.āāØāØāAnd her Dadās,ā Seungmin added.āØāØāAnd Chanās,ā you said.āØāØāAnd Minhoās.ā
āHe doesnāt need your number.āāØāØYour sister folded her arms.āØāØāYou make everything sound strange.āāØāØāYou asked my boyfriend whether he had your number.ā
āFor emergencies.āāØāØāRight.āāØāØSeungmin gently steered you through the doorway before either of you could continue.āØāØāThank you for lunch,ā he called politely.
Your mother called goodbye from somewhere inside the house.āØāØYour sister remained at the door while the two of you walked down the path.āØāØYou could feel her watching.āØāØSeungminās arm stayed around you until you reached the pavement.
Then he leaned close.āØāØāDonāt look now.āāØāØYou immediately looked back.āØāØYour sister was still standing in the doorway.
She lifted her hand when she saw you turn.āØāØYou waved.āØāØSeungmin sighed.āØāØāI specifically said not to.ā
āI donāt take instructions well.āāØāØāI know.āāØāØThe door finally closed.āØāØYou walked several more steps in silence.
Then Seungmin said, āYour sister wants me.āāØāØYou stopped.āØāØHe stopped beside you.āØāØThe solemn expression on his face lasted less than a second before you both started laughing.
āYour confidence is disgusting,ā you told him.
ą±Øą§
Your sister arrived at your flat on Saturday afternoon wearing heeled boots, a fitted coat and enough perfume to announce her presence before you had even opened the door.āØāØYou looked at her.āØāØThen at the small handbag hanging from her shoulder.āØāØThen back at her.
āYou said you were coming to borrow my straighteners.āāØāØāI am.āāØāØāAre you planning to straighten your hair here?āāØāØāNo.ā
āThen why do you look like youāre going somewhere?āāØāØShe frowned. āIām meeting someone later.āāØāØāYou didnāt mention that.āāØāØāI didnāt realise I needed to submit an itinerary.ā
āYou donāt.āāØāØāThen why are you interrogating me?āāØāØāI asked one question.āāØāØāYou asked three.ā
You stepped aside to let her enter.āØāØShe walked past you, removing her coat as she went.āØāØThe outfit beneath it was somehow even more carefully chosen.āØāØYou watched her smooth the fabric over her waist before checking her reflection in the hallway mirror.
Interesting.āØāØVery interesting.āØāØāYou could have texted,ā you said, closing the door. āI wouldāve brought the straighteners to Mumās tomorrow.āāØāØāI was nearby.ā
She wasnāt.āØāØYour sister lived nearly forty minutes in the opposite direction.āØāØYou decided not to point that out.āØāØFrom the living room, Seungmin called, āWho is it?ā
Your sisterās posture changed almost imperceptibly.āØāØHer shoulders pulled back.āØāØHer expression softened.āØāØYou stared at her.
She ignored you.āØāØāYour favourite person,ā you called.āØāØThere was a pause.āØāØThen Seungmin replied, āFelix?ā
You gasped.āØāØYour sister laughed.āØāØYou marched into the living room, already preparing several punishments.āØāØSeungmin was sitting cross-legged on the floor beside the coffee table.
A pale blue fabric headband held his hair away from his face, and there was a thin layer of clay mask drying across his cheeks because you had told him his skin looked tired.āØāØHe had complained for eleven minutes.āØāØThen he had asked whether there was enough left for his forehead.āØāØYour left hand rested carefully on top of an old magazine while Seungmin held your right between both of his.
Three of your fingernails were painted.āØāØOne was half-painted.āØāØThe fifth had somehow acquired a streak of polish across your skin.āØāØSeungmin looked up as you entered.
The smile on his face widened.āØāØāThereās my second-favourite person.āāØāØYou stopped in front of him.āØāØāSecond?ā
āFelix bakes for me.āāØāØāI cook for you.āāØāØāYou once burned instant noodles.āāØāØāThe packet was confusing.ā
āYou forgot the water.āāØāØāIt didnāt say when to add it.āāØāØYou placed one foot against his thigh and pushed lightly.āØāØSeungmin caught your ankle.
āNo kicking near the nail polish.āāØāØāYou deserve worse.āāØāØāYou asked me to do this.āāØāØāAnd youāre doing a terrible job.ā
He looked down at your nails.āØāØāTheyāre beautiful.āāØāØāThereās polish on my knuckle.āāØāØYour sister appeared behind you.
Seungmin glanced towards her.āØāØHis expression flickered with surprise before settling into a pleasant smile.āØāØāOh. Hi.āāØāØāHi.ā
Your sister looked him over.āØāØHer gaze paused at the headband.āØāØThen the face mask.āØāØThen your hand resting in his.
Her smile faltered, only slightly.āØāØāI didnāt know you were here.āāØāØYou turned your head towards her.āØāØShe knew.
You had mentioned it the previous evening when she asked what you were doing this weekend.āØāØSeungmin did not appear to remember that.āØāØāI live here sometimes,ā he said.āØāØāYou donāt,ā you replied.
Your sister moved further into the room.āØāØāYou look comfortable,ā she said.āØāØSeungmin touched the edge of the headband.āØāØāThis was forced on me.ā
āYou asked whether the bow should go in the middle,ā you said.āØāØYour sister laughed, lowering herself onto the sofa behind him.āØāØāIt suits you.āāØāØSeungmin looked up at her.
āThe face mask?āāØāØāThe headband.āāØāØHe touched it again.āØāØāThanks.ā
Her smile brightened.āØāØYou watched her tuck one leg elegantly over the other.āØāØSeungmin returned his attention to your hand.āØāØāStop moving.ā
āIām not moving.āāØāØāYouāre moving now.āāØāØāBecause you told me not to.āāØāØHe tightened his fingers around yours.
āIf you smudge this one, Iām starting again.āāØāØāYouāve already smudged it.āāØāØāThat was intentional.āāØāØāWas the polish on my skin intentional too?ā
āYes.āāØāØāWhat was the artistic vision?āāØāØāAnnoying you.āāØāØYou tried to pull your hand away.
Seungmin held on.āØāØāStay still.āāØāØāYouāre enjoying the authority.āāØāØāI rarely have any in this relationship.ā
āBecause you canāt be trusted.āāØāØYour sister leaned forwards.āØāØāYou let him paint your nails?āāØāØYou looked at her.
āHe volunteered.āāØāØāI was coerced,ā Seungmin said.āØāØāYou said you could do it better than me.āāØāØāI can.ā
You lifted your hand.āØāØHe immediately lowered it again before the wet polish could run.āØāØāThat remains to be seen.āāØāØYour sister tilted her head.
āIād never ask my boyfriend to do something like that.āāØāØYou glanced at Seungmin.āØāØHe glanced at you.āØāØThere it was again.
That tiny shared pause when both of you noticed something and decided, without speaking, whether it was worth reacting to.āØāØYou smiled.āØāØāGood thing he isnāt your boyfriend, then.āāØāØYour sisterās expression tightened.
Only for a second.āØāØThen she laughed.āØāØāI only mean Iād feel bad making him do something so feminine.āāØāØSeungmin inspected your thumbnail.
āYou think painting nails is feminine?āāØāØāUsually.āāØāØāThen Iām doing a very poor job of it.āāØāØYou snorted.
He blew gently across your nail.āØāØYour sister watched his lips purse.āØāØāItās sweet,ā she said. āI just wouldnāt have expected it from you.āāØāØāWhat did you expect?ā Seungmin asked.
āI donāt know.āāØāØShe did know.āØāØYou could tell by the way she leaned towards him.āØāØāSomething more masculine, I suppose.ā
Seungmin looked down at himself.āØāØHe was wearing grey jogging bottoms, an old sweatshirt and your fluffy skincare headband.āØāØāIām devastated.āāØāØāYou know what I mean.ā
āI really donāt.āāØāØShe smiled as though he were deliberately teasing her.āØāØāYou seem like someone whoād usually want a very feminine girlfriend.āāØāØSeungminās brush paused.
You looked at your sister.āØāØShe was looking at him.āØāØNot you.āØāØHe lifted his eyes slowly.
āI do.āāØāØYour sisterās smile widened.āØāØThen Seungmin returned his attention to your hand.āØāØāThatās why Iām dating her.ā
You pressed your lips together.āØāØYour sister glanced at you.āØāØYou smiled pleasantly.āØāØSeungmin dipped the brush into the polish.
āShe isnāt exactly what most people would call feminine,ā your sister said.āØāØYou raised your eyebrows.āØāØSeungminās hand stopped again.āØāØYour sister gestured towards you.
You were wearing one of Seungminās old shirts, a pair of shorts and fluffy socks. Your hair was twisted into a loose knot that had begun collapsing an hour ago.āØāØThere was a faint smudge of clay mask beside your jaw where you had attempted to kiss Seungmin before it dried.āØāØYou looked extremely comfortable.āØāØThat had apparently become a flaw.
āIām not?ā you asked.āØāØāI didnāt mean it badly.āāØāØāOf course not.āāØāØāYouāve never cared about being girly.ā
āIām getting my nails painted.āāØāØāBy your boyfriend.āāØāØāYes.āāØāØāSo?ā
āSo that feels relevant.āāØāØYour sister rolled her eyes.āØāØāYou know what I mean. Youāre not someone who gets dressed up around the house or worries about always looking attractive.āāØāØYou looked down at yourself.
Then at Seungmin.āØāØHis gaze had settled on your face.āØāØYou recognised the slight narrowing of his eyes.āØāØNot anger.
Not yet.āØāØAttention.āØāØYour sister continued, āI just think itās brave.āāØāØāBrave?ā you repeated.
āTo be that comfortable so early in a relationship.āāØāØYou and Seungmin had been together for nearly two years.āØāØApparently that remained early enough to maintain a constant state of glamour.āØāØāHow does she normally dress at home?ā Seungmin asked.
Your sister seemed pleased to have his attention again.āØāØāLike this.āāØāØāRight.āāØāØāSheās always been a little careless.ā
āWith clothes?āāØāØāWith everything.āāØāØYou laughed quietly.āØāØYour sister looked at you.
āWhat?āāØāØāNothing.āāØāØSeungmin placed the nail brush carefully inside the bottle.āØāØThen he lifted your hand and examined his work.
āPerfect.āāØāØāItās uneven.āāØāØāSo are your fingers.āāØāØāMy fingers arenāt uneven.ā
āOneās shorter.āāØāØāTheyāre supposed to be different lengths.āāØāØāConvenient excuse.āāØāØHe brought your hand towards his mouth.
You frowned.āØāØāWhat are you doing?āāØāØāChecking whether itās dry.āāØāØāWith your lips?ā
āYes.āāØāØāThat makes no sense.āāØāØSeungmin pressed a delicate kiss to the side of your index finger, avoiding the wet nail.āØāØThen he kissed your knuckle.
Then your wrist.āØāØA smile pulled at your mouth despite yourself.āØāØāDry,ā he announced.āØāØāYou didnāt touch the polish.ā
āIām an expert.āāØāØāYouāre an idiot.āāØāØHe kissed your wrist again.āØāØYour sister shifted on the sofa.
āYou two are veryā¦ā She paused. āAffectionate.āāØāØāThat sounded judgemental,ā you said.āØāØāIt wasnāt.āāØāØāIt sounded a little judgemental,ā Seungmin agreed.
āI only mean you donāt seem like the clingy type.āāØāØShe was speaking to him again.āØāØSeungmin leaned back against your legs.āØāØāIām not.ā
You looked down at him.āØāØHe looked up at you.āØāØāYouāre currently using me as a chair.āāØāØāYouāre comfortable.ā
Seungmin smiled lazily, reaching behind himself until his hand found your knee.āØāØYou threaded your fingers through his hair, careful not to disturb the headband.āØāØHe immediately tilted his head into your touch.āØāØYour sister watched him do it.
Something in her expression hardened.āØāØāYou always liked being fussed over,ā she said to you.āØāØYou looked at her.āØāØāWhat?ā
āWhen we were younger. You always needed everyoneās attention.āāØāØThe comment was casual.āØāØAlmost playful.āØāØYou knew better.
āI donāt remember that.āāØāØāYou used to follow Mum around constantly.āāØāØāI was six.āāØāØāYou cried whenever she left the room.ā
āI was still six.āāØāØāYouāve never liked being alone.āāØāØSeungminās thumb stroked once over your knee.āØāØYou shrugged.
āGood thing I donāt have to be.āāØāØYour sisterās eyes flicked towards his hand.āØāØāThatās what I mean. You need a lot from people.āāØāØThere was a quietness beneath the words.
An implication she wanted Seungmin to catch.āØāØYou were needy.āØāØDifficult.āØāØExhausting.
The kind of girlfriend who demanded face masks and painted nails and constant affection.āØāØYour sister, naturally, would never require so much effort.āØāØSeungmin looked up at you.āØāØāDo you?ā
āDo I what?āāØāØāNeed a lot from me?āāØāØYou pretended to consider it.āØāØāWell, you could make more tea.ā
āI made the last one.āāØāØāYou drank half of it.āāØāØāIt became ours when you let me taste it.āāØāØāThatās not how sharing works.ā
Your sister exhaled through her nose.āØāØāYou make everything into a joke.āāØāØāYou make everything very serious,ā you replied.āØāØāIām trying to have a conversation.ā
āWith my boyfriend?āāØāØāWith both of you.āāØāØāYouāve mostly been looking at him.āāØāØThe room went still.
Your sister blinked.āØāØSeungminās eyebrows lifted.āØāØYou hadnāt intended to say it quite so plainly.āØāØYou werenāt upset.
Not yet.āØāØYou were mostly curious to see what she would do when someone acknowledged the obvious.āØāØShe recovered quickly.āØāØāIām looking at whoeverās speaking.ā
āHe hasnāt been speaking.āāØāØāHe literally just was.āāØāØYou smiled.āØāØāAll right.ā
Your sister folded her arms.āØāØāYouāre being strange again.āāØāØāI didnāt say anything.āāØāØāYou implied something.ā
āWhat did I imply?āāØāØāYou know exactly what.āāØāØSeungminās hand slid around the back of your knee.āØāØHis fingertips squeezed gently.
You looked down at him.āØāØHe gave you a small, private smile.āØāØThere was no concern in it.āØāØHe knew you werenāt jealous.
Mostly, he appeared entertained.āØāØāYou came for straighteners,ā you reminded your sister.āØāØāI know.āāØāØāTheyāre in the bedroom.ā
āCan you get them?āāØāØāYou know where they are.āāØāØShe hesitated.āØāØHer gaze moved towards the hallway, then back to Seungmin.
āI havenāt been in your bedroom since you moved things around.āāØāØāYouāll survive.āāØāØāI donāt want to go through your things.āāØāØāYouāve never had an issue before.ā
Her mouth tightened.āØāØYou smiled sweetly.āØāØāIāll show you.āāØāØYou gently extracted your hand from Seungminās grasp, holding your fingers carefully apart.
He immediately caught your wrist.āØāØāWhere are you going?āāØāØāTo get the straighteners.āāØāØāYouāll ruin your nails.ā
āIām walking, not digging a tunnel.āāØāØāYouāre very clumsy.āāØāØāYou painted them five minutes ago. Theyāre dry.āāØāØSeungmin tightened his grip.
āWait.āāØāØāWhat?āāØāØHe reached for the bottle of top coat on the table.āØāØāYou need this.ā
āYou didnāt mention top coat before.āāØāØāI forgot.āāØāØāYou just donāt want me to leave.āāØāØāThatās ridiculous.ā
āYouāre holding my wrist.āāØāØāTo protect my work.āāØāØāSay youāll miss me.āāØāØāYouāll be gone for thirty seconds.ā
āThen it shouldnāt be difficult.āāØāØSeungmin narrowed his eyes.āØāØYour sister watched the exchange.āØāØYou waited.
He looked away first.āØāØāIāll miss you,ā he muttered.āØāØYou grinned.āØāØāWhat was that?ā
āYou heard me.āāØāØāI donāt think I did.āāØāØāIām not repeating it.āāØāØāThen I suppose Iāll have to stay.ā
Seungmin looked back at you suspiciously.āØāØYou lowered yourself onto the floor in front of him.āØāØHis expression brightened.āØāØThen you reached for the top coat.
He held it out of reach.āØāØāYou said you were staying.āāØāØāTo do my own nails.āāØāØāNo.ā
āGive it to me.āāØāØāYouāll ruin them.āāØāØāTheyāre already ruined.āāØāØSeungmin gasped.
You grabbed for the bottle.āØāØHe leaned away.āØāØYou lunged across him, careful to keep your painted hand lifted.āØāØSeungmin caught you around the waist with his free arm.
You tried to reach behind him.āØāØHe shifted again, pulling you further into his lap.āØāØYour sister cleared her throat.āØāØYou both looked towards her.
She was still sitting on the sofa.āØāØWatching.āØāØYou had briefly forgotten she was there.āØāØāSorry,ā you said, although you werenāt particularly sorry.
Seungmin rested his chin on your shoulder.āØāØHe still had one arm wrapped firmly around your waist.āØāØYour sisterās gaze dropped to it.āØāØāCould you get the straighteners?ā she asked.
āYou know where they are,ā you repeated.āØāØāI already told you I donāt.āāØāØSeungmin lifted his head.āØāØāI can get them.ā
Your sisterās face brightened.āØāØYou turned towards him.āØāØHe was already beginning to stand, carefully guiding you off his lap.āØāØYour sister rose too.
Seungmin paused.āØāØHe looked at her.āØāØThen at you.āØāØYou pressed your lips together to keep from laughing.
There was no reason for both of them to go.āØāØYour sister apparently believed your bedroom contained an unusually complicated straightener-storage system that required Seungminās personal guidance.āØāØāI know where they are,ā he said.āØāØāIāll come with you.ā
āYou can stay here.āāØāØHer smile faltered.āØāØāI donāt mind.āāØāØāI do.ā
The answer was so immediate that you made a small choking sound.āØāØYour sisterās patience finally snapped.āØāØāCan someone please get them?āāØāØYou and Seungmin both looked at her.
She smiled tightly.āØāØāThe straighteners.āāØāØāRight,ā you said.āØāØSeungmin pointed at you.
āDonāt touch anything.āāØāØāItās my flat.āāØāØāMy nail polish.āāØāØHe disappeared down the hallway.
Your sister waited until he was out of earshot.āØāØThen she looked at you.āØāØāYou donāt have to perform every time Iām here.āāØāØYou stared at her.
āPerform?āāØāØāThe constant touching. The little jokes.āāØāØāYou think thatās for you?āāØāØāI think youāre trying very hard to prove something.ā
You looked towards the hallway.āØāØSeungmin was rummaging through the bathroom cabinet, apparently having forgotten that you kept the straighteners inside your wardrobe.āØāØYou turned back to her.āØāØāIām sitting in my own living room wearing his shirt while he paints my nails.ā
āExactly.āāØāØāWhat am I proving?āāØāØāThat youāre comfortable with him.āāØāØāI am comfortable with him.ā
āYou donāt need to make it so obvious.āāØāØA laugh escaped you.āØāØYour sisterās expression darkened.āØāØāWhat?ā
āI genuinely donāt understand what youāre accusing me of.āāØāØāYouāre acting territorial.āāØāØāI havenāt stopped you speaking to him.āāØāØāYou donāt have to. You just keep interrupting.ā
āThis is my flat.āāØāØāSo?āāØāØāHeās my boyfriend.āāØāØāI know that.ā
Mostly.āØāØBut something sharper had begun pressing beneath your ribs.āØāØYour sister had always competed with you.āØāØClothes. Friends. Attention. Compliments.
Anything you possessed became evidence that she deserved something better.āØāØYou had simply never expected her to become this obvious.āØāØāYouāre imagining things,ā she said.āØāØāAm I?ā
āYes.āāØāØāThen why did you come dressed like that to borrow straighteners?āāØāØHer face changed.āØāØOnly for an instant.
Then she scoffed.āØāØāI told you Iām going out.āāØāØāWhere?āāØāØāWhy do you care?ā
āI donāt.āāØāØāYou clearly do.āāØāØāYouāve travelled forty minutes to borrow something you could buy for twenty pounds.āāØāØāI was nearby.ā
āNo, you werenāt.āāØāØShe folded her arms.āØāØāSeungmin doesnāt seem to mind me being here.āāØāØThere it was.
You looked at her.āØāØShe looked pleased with herself.āØāØāWhy would he mind?āāØāØāHeās been friendly.ā
āHeās usually friendly.āāØāØāNot with everyone.āāØāØYou nearly smiled.āØāØYour sister had known Seungmin for one afternoon.
Apparently she had already developed an extensive understanding of his social habits.āØāØāHe complimented me last time,ā she continued.āØāØāWhen?āāØāØāHe said my dress was nice.ā
āMum told him to.āāØāØāThat doesnāt mean he didnāt think it.āāØāØāNo, Iām sure he has very strong feelings about the dress.āāØāØāYou donāt have to be jealous.ā
You stared at her.āØāØThen you laughed.āØāØYou couldnāt help it.āØāØThe idea was so completely detached from reality that amusement overwhelmed everything else.
Your sisterās face hardened.āØāØāIām serious.āāØāØāSo am I.āāØāØāThen why are you laughing?ā
āBecause you think Seungmin complimenting your dress means I should be worried.āāØāØāI didnāt say you should be worried.āāØāØāYou said I was jealous.āāØāØāYouāre acting like it.ā
āTrust me.ā You leaned back against the sofa. āIām not.āāØāØYour sister opened her mouth.āØāØSeungmin returned before she could answer.āØāØHe was holding the straighteners in one hand
He handed the straighteners to your sister.āØāØShe accepted them.āØāØāThank you.āāØāØāNo problem.ā
Her fingers lingered against his for a moment.āØāØSeungmin looked down at their hands.āØāØThen politely extracted his own.āØāØāI should probably go,ā your sister said.
You looked at the clock.āØāØShe had been there for less than twenty minutes.āØāØāYour plans?ā you asked.āØāØāYes.ā
She picked up her coat.āØāØSeungmin returned to the floor beside you, already reaching for your hand.āØāØYour sister watched him pull you down beside him.āØāØYour sister opened the front door.
āIāll text you,ā she said to you.āØāØāOkay.āāØāØShe looked towards Seungmin.āØāØāIt was nice seeing you.ā
āYou too.āāØāØāYou look good, by the way.āāØāØSeungmin glanced down at his sweatshirt.āØāØāThanks.ā
āThe headband especially.āāØāØHis hand rose to the blue bow.āØāØāRight.āāØāØShe laughed softly.
Then she left.āØāØYou waited until the door closed.āØāØSilence settled over the flat.āØāØSeungmin stared at it.
You stared at him.āØāØHe turned slowly.āØāØāWhat?āāØāØYou broke first.
Laughter burst out of you so suddenly that you nearly knocked over the nail polish.āØāØSeungmin caught the bottle.āØāØāCareful!āāØāØāThe headband especially,ā you repeated.
āStop.āāØāØāYou look good, by the way.āāØāØāI said stop.āāØāØYou twisted in his arms until you were facing him.
Seungmin was kneeling over you, one hand planted beside your shoulder and the other wrapped securely around your waist.āØāØYou looked up at him.āØāØāI like your headband.āāØāØāThank you. I already have a beautiful girlfriend.ā
You nodded.āØāØāVery natural.āāØāØāYouāre ridiculous.āāØāØāAnd youāre obsessed with me.ā
āThere it is.āāØāØāThere what is?āāØāØāYouāve been waiting to say that all afternoon.āāØāØāI havenāt.ā
āYou have.āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāYes.āāØāØYou tried to push him away with your forearm.
Seungmin remained exactly where he was.āØāØāAdmit it,ā he said.āØāØāAdmit what?āāØāØāThat youāre jealous.ā
āIām not.āāØāØāJust a little?āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāNot even when she touched my hand?ā
āI thought about breaking her fingers.āāØāØSeungminās eyes widened.āØāØYou hooked one leg around his hips and attempted to roll him onto his back.āØāØHe anticipated it, shifting his weight before you could gain any leverage.
āYouāre cheating,ā you complained.āØāØāHow?āāØāØāYouāre stronger.āāØāØāThat isnāt cheating.ā
āIt is when Iām losing.āāØāØHe laughed.āØāØYou used the distraction to push at his shoulder again.āØāØSeungmin caught both your wrists.
Your breath hitched, more from surprise than anything else.āØāØHe pinned them lightly above your head, careful not to let your nails touch the carpet.āØāØHis hair had begun slipping free from the headband.āØāØThe clay mask had cracked faintly near the corners of his smile.
He looked completely ridiculous.āØāØAnd unfairly lovely.āØāØāStill think I enjoyed it?ā he asked.āØāØYou pretended to consider your answer.
His eyes narrowed.āØāØāChoose carefully.āāØāØYou bit back a smile.āØāØāShe is very feminine.ā
Seungmin lowered his face closer to yours.āØāØāWrong direction.āāØāØāAnd confident.āāØāØHis grip tightened slightly around your wrists.
You laughed.āØāØāAnd sophisticated.āāØāØāDo you want to keep your newly painted nails?āāØāØāThat sounds like a threat.ā
āIt is.āāØāØāYou worked so hard on them.āāØāØāI can start again.āāØāØāYou wouldnāt.ā
āI have nowhere to be.āāØāØYou squirmed beneath him.āØāØHe shifted, trapping you more securely without putting his weight on you.āØāØāYouāre impossible,ā you said.
āYou started this.āāØāØāSheās your type.āāØāØSeungmin stared at you.āØāØThen he released one of your wrists.
You immediately tried to escape.āØāØHis free hand found your side.āØāØYou squealed.āØāØāNo!ā
āTake it back.āāØāØāYou canāt keep doing this!āāØāØāI can until you learn.āāØāØHis fingers dug gently into your waist.
You dissolved into laughter, twisting helplessly beneath him.āØāØāThe mask!ā you gasped. āYouāll crack the mask!āāØāØāI donāt care.āāØāØāYou were worried about it two minutes ago!ā
āYouāve pushed me too far.āāØāØYou kicked at the rug.āØāØSeungmin caught your leg beneath his knee.āØāØāYouāre evil!ā
āAnd?āāØāØāControlling!āāØāØāAnd?āāØāØāObsessed with me!ā
His fingers stopped.āØāØāThere we go.āāØāØYou glared up at him, breathless.āØāØāThat isnāt fair.ā
āItās completely fair.āāØāØāI was supposed to say you donāt want her.āāØāØāI know I donāt want her.āāØāØāYouāre supposed to reassure me.ā
āAre you worried?āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāThen why do you need reassurance?āāØāØāBecause I enjoy compliments.ā
Seungmin smiled.āØāØThe teasing faded gently from his expression.āØāØHe released your other wrist and settled his hand beside your head instead.āØāØāYouāre very pretty.ā
āThat was basic.āāØāØāYouāre especially pretty when youāre wearing my clothes.āāØāØāBetter.āāØāØāYouāre funny.ā
āI know.āāØāØāAnd irritating.āāØāØāThat wasnāt a compliment.āāØāØāItās one of my favourite things about you.ā
You looked up at him.āØāØHis thumb brushed lightly over your cheek.āØāØāYouāre my favourite person to come home to,ā he continued. āMy favourite person to annoy. My favourite person to do absolutely nothing with.āāØāØYour smile softened.
Seungminās did too.āØāØāAnd,ā he added, āIām so obsessed with you that I let you put this stupid thing on my head.āāØāØYou touched the bow.āØāØāYou love the headband.ā
āI tolerate it.āāØāØāYouāre avoiding the important part.āāØāØāWhat important part?āāØāØāThe part where you admit Iām obsessed with you.ā
You laughed.āØāØāYou just admitted it yourself.āāØāØāI want to hear you say it.āāØāØāYouāre obsessed with me.ā
āAnd?āāØāØYou stared at him.āØāØHe waited expectantly.āØāØāAnd you donāt want my sister.ā
āObviously.āāØāØāAnd?āāØāØA slow grin spread across his face.āØāØYou realised what he wanted.
āNo.āāØāØāSay it.āāØāØāIām not saying it.āāØāØāYou know you want to.ā
āI donāt.āāØāØSeungminās fingers hovered threateningly near your waist.āØāØYou recoiled.āØāØāDonāt.ā
āThen say it.āāØāØāYouāre abusing your power.āāØāØāIām waiting.āāØāØYou glared at him.
He looked delighted.āØāØāAnd Iām obsessed with you too,ā you muttered.āØāØāWhat was that?āāØāØāYou heard me.ā
āThe face mask is restricting my hearing.āāØāØāThat isnāt how masks work.āāØāØāSpeak clearly.āāØāØYou tried not to smile.
āIām obsessed with you too.āāØāØāThere we go.āāØāØHe bent and kissed you.āØāØIt began soft.
A pleased little press of his lips against yours.āØāØThen you reached for the back of his neck and accidentally brushed one wet nail against his cheek.āØāØSeungmin pulled away.āØāØYou froze.
A bright streak of polish now cut through the dried clay mask.āØāØFor one second, neither of you moved.āØāØThen you burst out laughing.āØāØSeungmin stared at you.
āYou ruined it.āāØāØāIām sorry!āāØāØāYou did that on purpose.āāØāØāI didnāt!ā
āYou attacked me.āāØāØāYou were on top of me!āāØāØāBecause you accused me of wanting your sister.āāØāØSeungmin touched his cheek.
His fingers came away with polish on them.āØāØHis mouth dropped open.āØāØYou laughed even harder.āØāØāYou look beautiful.ā
āYouāre sleeping on the sofa.āāØāØāItās my flat.āāØāØāThen Iām sleeping in your bed alone.āāØāØāYou wouldnāt last ten minutes.ā
āIād sleep perfectly.āāØāØYou grinned.āØāØSeungmin tried to maintain his glare.āØāØHe failed.
A laugh escaped him.āØāØThen another.āØāØHe lowered his head until his forehead rested against your shoulder, both of you shaking with laughter on the living-room floor.āØāØYou wrapped your arms around him.
āYour mask really is ruined.āāØāØāI know.āāØāØāAnd the polish is definitely smudged.āāØāØāI know.ā
ą±Øą§
Your sister invited herself shopping with you three days later.āØāØTechnically, she asked whether you had bought your mumās birthday present yet. When you told her that you and Seungmin were going into town on Sunday to find something, she replied that she had been planning to go that day too.āØāØYou had stared at the message for several seconds.āØāØSeungmin, lying beside you with his head on your stomach, had tilted his phone away from his face and asked, āWhy are you making that expression?ā
āMy sister wants to come shopping with us.āāØāØHe had gone silent.āØāØYou lowered your phone to look at him. āThat was a very long pause.āāØāØāI was trying to think of something polite.ā
āAnd?āāØāØāI couldnāt.āāØāØYou laughed and ran your fingers through his hair. āWe are shopping for her mum too.āāØāØāUnfortunately.ā
āSheās my mum.āāØāØāThatās why I said unfortunately. I like your mum.āāØāØāYouāre horrible.āāØāØSeungmin had turned his head and pressed a kiss to your stomach through your shirt. āTell her she can come.ā
āYou donāt sound very enthusiastic.āāØāØāIām thrilled. Maybe she can tell me more about what kind of woman I usually prefer.āāØāØYou had flicked his forehead.āØāØHe had bitten your finger.
The matter was settled.
ą±Øą§
Your sister arrived twenty minutes late.āØāØYou and Seungmin had already been standing outside the shopping centre long enough for him to complain about the cold four times, steal one of your gloves and attempt to warm his other hand by shoving it beneath the back of your jumper.āØāØYou had slapped him away.āØāØHe had waited thirty seconds before trying again.
āYour hand is freezing,ā you complained, twisting out of his reach.āØāØāThatās why I need your body heat.āāØāØāYou have pockets.āāØāØāTheyāre not as warm as you.ā
āThey donāt want you touching them either.āāØāØSeungmin smiled and caught the belt loop of your jeans when you tried to step away. āCome back.āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāYouāre abandoning me.ā
āIām moving half a metre.āāØāØāThatās still too far.āāØāØYou rolled your eyes, but you let him pull you backwards until your shoulder rested against his chest. He wrapped both arms around your waist and tucked his chin over your shoulder, immediately pleased with himself.āØāØāYouāre very clingy today,ā you said.
āItās cold.āāØāØāYou were clingy yesterday too.āāØāØāI was tired.āāØāØāYou fell asleep on top of me. I couldnāt breathe.ā
āAnd yet you let me stay.ā His laugh warmed the side of your neck.āØāØYour sister found you like that.āØāØShe slowed as she approached, taking in Seungminās arms around your middle and the way your hands rested over his.āØāØThen she smiled.
āSorry,ā she said, although she did not sound particularly sorry. āThe train was delayed.āāØāØāYou said you were driving,ā you replied.āØāØShe paused.āØāØSeungminās face disappeared briefly against your shoulder. You felt the silent shake of his laughter.
āI changed my mind,ā your sister said.āØāØāClearly.āāØāØShe looked at Seungmin. āHave you been waiting long?āāØāØāLong enough for her to attack me.ā
āI moved your freezing hand away,ā you said.āØāØSeungmin tightened his arms around your waist. āExactly.āāØāØYour sister laughed, her gaze lingering on him a little too long. āYou poor thing.āāØāØYour sister looked at you with a small, knowing smile. āYouāve always been like that.ā
āLike what?āāØāØāRough.āāØāØSeungminās eyebrows rose.āØāØYou looked down at your outfit as though you might find evidence of roughness on your coat. āI pushed his hand away.ā
āIām only joking.āāØāØāRight.āāØāØāSheās very frightening,ā Seungmin said solemnly. āI live in constant fear.āāØāØThen he kissed your cheek and released you, taking your hand instead. āCan we go inside before I lose feeling in my fingers?ā
āYou stole my glove.āāØāØāIt wasnāt enough.āāØāØYour sister walked beside him as you entered the shopping centre.āØāØYou ended up on his other side.
It was not immediately strange. The pavement narrowed near the doors, people moved around you, and your sister had always been skilled at placing herself exactly where she wanted to be without appearing deliberate.āØāØBut once you were inside, she remained there.āØāØShe asked Seungmin what he thought you should buy. She asked whether he enjoyed shopping. She asked which shops he liked, whether he cared about clothes and whether he usually chose his own outfits.āØāØHe answered politely.
Mostly.āØāØWhen she asked whether he had a favourite designer, he said, āWhoever makes comfortable trousers.āāØāØWhen she asked what colours he liked on women, he said, āNormal ones.āāØāØYour sister frowned. āI was asking a normal question.ā
āI know,ā you said. āHis answer was stupid.āāØāØSeungmin swung your joined hands between you.āØāØYour sister glanced down.āØāØāI think youād suit darker colours,ā she told him.
āI wear dark colours.āāØāØāI know. They make you look more mature.āāØāØYou looked across him. āWhat does he look like now?āāØāØShe ignored you. āYou have a very classic face.ā
Seungmin turned towards you. āDo I?āāØāØāNo.āāØāØHe looked offended. āYou didnāt even think about it.āāØāØāI look at your face every day.ā
āAnd youāve never thought it was classic?āāØāØāIāve thought it was annoying.āāØāØāThat isnāt a facial structure.āāØāØāIt should be.ā
Your sister sighed softly. āYou never take compliments seriously.āāØāØāShe rarely gives them,ā Seungmin said.āØāØāI complimented you this morning.āāØāØāYou said my hair looked less strange than usual.ā
āThat was generous.āāØāØāYou also said I looked tired.āāØāØāYou did.āāØāØāYou make me feel very cherished.ā
You stopped in the middle of the walkway and placed both hands around his face. āYou are beautiful.āāØāØSeungminās eyes narrowed suspiciously. āYouāre mocking me.āāØāØāNever.āāØāØāYouāre smiling.ā
āBecause youāre beautiful.āāØāØHe stared at you for another second before his mouth betrayed him.āØāØA reluctant smile appeared.āØāØāThere,ā you said, squeezing his cheeks. āPretty.ā
Seungmin caught both your wrists and pulled your hands away. āDonāt touch my face in public.āāØāØāYou love it.āāØāØYour sister had gone quiet.āØāØYou released Seungminās face and started walking again. He slipped his hand into yours as though the interruption had never happened.
The first shop was useless.āØāØThe second was worse.āØāØYour mum had said she wanted something for the house, which sounded simple until you were faced with fifteen aisles of objects she might already own.āØāØYour sister suggested a decorative vase.
You reminded her that your mum had six.āØāØSeungmin picked up a tiny ceramic dog wearing a crown.āØāØYou told him to put it down.āØāØāSheād love him,ā he said.
āSheād ask why we bought her rubbish.āāØāØāHeās cute.āāØāØāHeās ugly.āāØāØāHe can hear you.ā
Your sister smiled at Seungmin. āI think heās cute.āāØāØYou looked at her.āØāØShe was not looking at the ceramic dog.āØāØSeungmin, apparently unaware or pretending to be, placed the ornament carefully in your hands. āHold him.ā
āNo.āāØāØāHe likes you.āāØāØāYou like him.āāØāØāHe reminds me of you.ā
You stared at the dog.āØāØThe dog stared back with badly painted eyes.āØāØāYouāre sleeping alone tonight.āāØāØSeungmin smiled. āYou say that every week.ā
āOne day Iāll mean it.āāØāØāNo, you wonāt.āāØāØYour sister picked up a sleek glass vase and held it towards Seungmin. āWhat about this?āāØāØHe glanced at it. āItās nice.ā
āShe already has something similar,ā you said.āØāØYour sisterās smile tightened. āNot exactly like this.āāØāØāItās almost identical.āāØāØāItās more modern.ā
āMum doesnāt care about modern.āāØāØāShe might.āāØāØYour sister looked at Seungmin. āWhat do you think?āāØāØHe looked between you both.
Then at the vase.āØāØThen at the ceramic dog still in your hands.āØāØāI think we should buy the dog.āāØāØYou laughed.
Your sister did not.āØāØāYouāre both impossible,ā she said, returning the vase to the shelf.āØāØāThat keeps coming up,ā Seungmin replied.āØāØYou carried the dog for another two aisles before secretly placing it on a display of cushions.
Seungmin noticed immediately.āØāØāWhere is he?āāØāØāWho?āāØāØāThe dog.ā
āI donāt know.āāØāØāYou abandoned him.āāØāØāHe wasnāt ours.āāØāØāHe could have been.ā
āNot everything you like has to come home with us.āāØāØāYou came home with me.āāØāØYour sister laughed.āØāØYou turned towards Seungmin slowly. āWas that meant to be sweet?ā
āYes.āāØāØāIt sounded like you found me beside a road.āāØāØāI rescued you.āāØāØāFrom what?ā
āYourself.āāØāØYou shoved him lightly towards a stack of towels.āØāØHe caught your elbow and pulled you with him, making you stumble against his chest. His free arm wrapped around your waist before you could fall.āØāØYou tried not to smile.
You failed.āØāØYour sister walked ahead.
ą±Øą§
After nearly an hour, you found a set of handmade serving bowls that your mum would genuinely like.āØāØYour sister thought they were plain.āØāØSeungmin thought one of them looked like a hat.āØāØYou thought both of them needed to stop talking.
You were waiting at the till when your sister announced that she wanted coffee.āØāØāThereās a place downstairs,ā she said. āIāll go.āāØāØāIāll come,ā you replied. āI need the toilet anyway.āāØāØHer expression flickered.
Only slightly.āØāØThen she smiled. āYou can stay with the bags. Seungmin and I can get them.āāØāØSeungmin looked up from the receipt in his hand.āØāØYou looked at her.
She looked at him.āØāØThere was a small silence.āØāØThen Seungmin said, āShe knows my order.āāØāØYour sister recovered quickly. āYou can tell me.ā
āIāll forget something.āāØāØāItās coffee.āāØāØāHeās very demanding,ā you said.āØāØSeungmin nodded.
Your sister laughed, although her eyes stayed on him. āI think I can manage.āāØāØYou could have refused.āØāØPart of you wanted to, not because you thought anything would happen, but because your sisterās intentions had become so transparent that allowing her to proceed felt almost embarrassing.āØāØThen curiosity won.
You handed the shopping bag to Seungmin. āFine. Get me something sweet.āāØāØāWhat?āāØāØāSurprise me.āāØāØāThat always ends badly.ā
āOnly because you make poor choices.āāØāØSeungmin stared at you.āØāØYou smiled.āØāØHe sighed. āFine.ā
Your sister looked pleased.āØāØFar too pleased.āØāØYou kissed Seungminās cheek before stepping away. āDonāt let her buy me anything with coconut.ā
ą±Øą§
Seungmin watched you disappear into the crowd.āØāØHe knew exactly what you were doing.āØāØYou had kissed him in front of your sister on purpose.āØāØNot because you were worried.
Because you were a menace.āØāØA message appeared on his phone before he and your sister had reached the escalator.āØāØDonāt fall in love while Iām gone xāØāØHe smiled despite himself.
Your sister noticed.āØāØāWhat?āāØāØāNothing.āāØāØāWas that her?ā
āYes.āāØāØāWhat did she say?āāØāØSeungmin put his phone away. āNothing important.āāØāØYour sister stepped onto the escalator beside him.
For several seconds, she was silent.āØāØThen she said, āShe checks on you a lot.āāØāØSeungmin looked at her. āDoes she?āāØāØāSheās always texting you.ā
āWe text each other.āāØāØāI know. I just mean she likes knowing where you are.āāØāØHe considered the comment.āØāØāShe sent me a joke.ā
āWhat joke?āāØāØāOne you wouldnāt find funny.āāØāØYour sisterās mouth tightened. āYou donāt know that.āāØāØāI know her sense of humour.ā
āAnd mine?āāØāØāNot really.āāØāØThe escalator carried them down another floor.āØāØYour sister rested one hand on the rail. āYou and her are very different.ā
Seungmin looked ahead. āYouāve mentioned that.āāØāØāI donāt mean it as an insult.āāØāØāYou keep saying that too.āāØāØShe laughed softly. āYou remember.ā
āI have a good memory.āāØāØāYou do seem observant.āāØāØāSometimes.āāØāØāThatās why Iām surprised.ā
He turned his head.āØāØāBy what?āāØāØShe looked briefly uncertain, as if she had expected him to understand without making her say it aloud.āØāØāNothing.ā
Seungmin faced forwards again.āØāØThe coffee shop was busy. A line curled away from the counter, giving your sister more time than she probably needed.āØāØShe moved closer to him as they joined it.āØāØāIāve always wondered how she ended up with someone like you.ā
Seungminās expression did not change.āØāØāSomeone like me?āāØāØāSuccessful. Disciplined. Mature.āāØāØāYou think she isnāt those things?ā
āI didnāt say that.āāØāØāYou implied it.āāØāØYour sister sighed. āYouāre very defensive of her.āāØāØāSheās my girlfriend.ā
āI know.āāØāØāThen why are you surprised?āāØāØāIām not surprised. I just think you misunderstand me.āāØāØSeungmin shoved one hand into his coat pocket. āThen explain.ā
Your sister glanced towards the counter. The line had barely moved.āØāØāSheās always been the sweet one,ā she said. āThe one people feel protective over. Iāve always been more independent.āāØāØāOkay.āāØāØāShe needs more reassurance.ā
āDoes she?āāØāØāYouāve seen how she is.āāØāØāI have.āāØāØāAnd that doesnāt get tiring?ā
Seungmin looked at her properly.āØāØHis tone stayed light, but his eyes sharpened. āNo.āāØāØYour sister held his gaze. āYou donāt have to pretend with me.āāØāØāIām not.ā
āShe can be a lot.āāØāØāSo can I.āāØāØāYouāre different.āāØāØāYou donāt know me.ā
The words landed more firmly than anything he had said before.āØāØYour sister blinked.āØāØSeungmin looked back towards the counter.āØāØThe line moved forward.
For a few seconds, she said nothing.āØāØThen she tried again.āØāØāShe doesnāt tell people this, but she used to get overlooked a lot when we were younger.āāØāØSeungminās jaw tightened.
āOverlooked by who?āāØāØāPeople.āāØāØYour sister exhaled, clearly frustrated by his refusal to fill in the gaps for her.āØāØāBoys usually noticed me first.ā
Seungmin waited.āØāØShe smiled faintly. āShe never minded. At least, she pretended not to.āāØāØHe looked at her.āØāØāAnd?ā
āAnd nothing. Iām only saying itās probably nice for her to be the one someone chose for once.āāØāØSeungmin stared at her for a long moment.āØāØYour sister interpreted the silence as an opening.āØāØāYouāre kind,ā she continued. āYou probably donāt even realise how much that means to her.ā
āI noticed her.āāØāØThe sentence was quiet.āØāØImmediate.āØāØYour sisterās smile faltered.
āI didnāt say you didnāt.āāØāØāYou said people didnāt.āāØāØāI said they usually noticed me first.āāØāØāI didnāt.ā
Something sharp passed across her face.āØāØThen she laughed.āØāØāYou hadnāt met me.āāØāØSeungmin looked at her.
The confidence in her smile returned.āØāØIt was not difficult to understand what she meant.āØāØIf he had seen her first, things might have been different.āØāØIf he knew her better, he might recognise what he had missed.
If you had not reached him before she did, perhaps he would have made the correct choice.āØāØSeungmin almost laughed.āØāØInstead, he said, āIāve met you now.āāØāØYour sisterās smile remained fixed.
The line moved again.āØāØShe stepped closer.āØāØāI think we have more in common than you realise.āāØāØāDo we?ā
āWeāre both ambitious.āāØāØāSo is she.āāØāØāWe care about how we present ourselves.āāØāØāShe does too.ā
āShe doesnāt care what anyone thinks.āāØāØāThatās one of the things I like about her.āāØāØYour sisterās eyes narrowed. āYou turn everything into a compliment about her.āāØāØāYes.ā
The answer was so simple that it left nowhere for the conversation to go.āØāØYour sister looked away.āØāØSeungminās phone buzzed again.āØāØHe checked it.
Is she seducing you yet?āØāØA second message appeared.āØāØBlink twice if you need rescueāØāØThen:
Actually donāt. I canāt see youāØāØHe laughed under his breath.āØāØYour sister glanced towards the phone.āØāØāSheās checking again?ā
He raised his eyebrows slightly.āØāØFor the first time, she seemed uncertain whether he was joking.āØāØThen he smiled.āØāØNot warmly.
Not cruelly either.āØāØJust enough to make the question impossible to challenge.āØāØYour sister looked towards the menu.āØāØāWhat did she want?ā
āSomething sweet.āāØāØāThat isnāt very specific.āāØāØāShe likes trying new things.āāØāØāI know.ā
āDo you?āāØāØYour sister frowned. āSheās my sister.āāØāØSeungmin slipped his phone into his pocket. āThen choose.āāØāØShe looked at the display board.
After a moment, she suggested a coconut latte.āØāØSeungmin stared at her.āØāØāWhat?āāØāØāShe hates coconut.ā
Your sister hesitated. āDoes she?āāØāØāShe told you five minutes ago.āāØāØāI forgot.āāØāØāI didnāt.ā
He ordered your favourite instead.
ą±Øą§
You returned to find them sitting at a small table near the window.āØāØYour sister was speaking.āØāØSeungmin was looking at his phone.āØāØThat alone told you almost everything you needed to know.
He was never rude enough to ignore someone without a reason.āØāØWhen he spotted you, his entire expression changed.āØāØHis shoulders relaxed. His mouth curved into a smile. He put his phone down and lifted one hand towards you.āØāØāThere you are.ā
You slid into the seat beside him.āØāØSeungmin immediately hooked his fingers through the belt loop at the back of your jeans and tugged you closer.āØāØāI was gone for fifteen minutes.āāØāØāIt was difficult.ā
āYou seemed fine.āāØāØYour sister looked between you.āØāØYou picked up the drink in front of your seat and inspected it. āWhat did you get me?āāØāØāTry it.ā
āWhat is it?āāØāØāIām not telling you.āāØāØāWhy?āāØāØāYou said to surprise you.ā
āI donāt trust you.āāØāØSeungmin pushed the cup closer. āDrink.āāØāØYou took a cautious sip.āØāØIt was sweet, creamy and familiar.
Your favourite.āØāØYou looked at him.āØāØHe smiled smugly.āØāØāYou didnāt choose something new.ā
āI chose something youād like.āāØāØāThat isnāt a surprise.āāØāØāYou were surprised.āāØāØāI was surprised you made a good decision.ā
Seungmin leaned towards you. āSay thank you.āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāSay it.āāØāØāYouāre very demanding.ā
āI carried the bowls.āāØāØāTheyāre in one bag.āāØāØāA heavy bag.āāØāØāTheyāre ceramic, not concrete.ā
Your sister interrupted. āHe remembered your order.āāØāØYou looked at her.āØāØThere was something brittle in her voice.āØāØSeungmin rested his chin briefly on your shoulder and stole a sip of your drink.
You pushed his face away.āØāØāOf course he did,ā you said. āHe orders it more than I do.āāØāØāFor you,ā he corrected.āØāØāYou steal half.ā
āIt tastes better when itās yours.āāØāØāThatās because youāre a thief.āāØāØHe smiled against your cheek.āØāØYour sister looked away.
You could practically feel the conversation you had interrupted sitting between them.āØāØYou waited until Seungmin sat back.āØāØThen you asked, āDid you have a nice chat?āāØāØYour sister reached for her coffee.
Seungmin looked at you.āØāØHis eyes were bright with the effort of not laughing.āØāØāVery informative.āāØāØāOh?ā
āI learned that Iām successful, disciplined and mature.āāØāØYou nodded solemnly. āOne out of three isnāt bad.āāØāØSeungmin kicked your foot beneath the table.āØāØYou kicked him back.
Your sister sighed. āI was complimenting him.āāØāØāI know.āāØāØāShe thinks Iām mature,ā Seungmin said.āØāØāShe doesnāt live with you.ā
āI donāt live with you.āāØāØUnder the table, Seungminās knee pressed against yours.āØāØYou tapped it once with your own.āØāØHe tapped back.
Your sister watched the movement.āØāØāI was only saying that youāre lucky,ā she said.āØāØYou looked at her. āAgain?āāØāØāYou are.ā
āI know.āāØāØāShe thinks youāre lucky someone finally noticed you,ā Seungmin added.āØāØThe words were delivered with deceptive casualness.āØāØYour sisterās head snapped towards him.
Your hand stilled around the cup.āØāØSeungmin lifted his drink.āØāØYou looked at your sister.āØāØShe looked suddenly furious.
āI didnāt say it like that.āāØāØāHow did you say it?āāØāØāI said people usually noticed me first when we were younger.āāØāØYou raised your eyebrows.
Your sister leaned back. āIt was relevant to the conversation.āāØāØāWhat conversation?āāØāØāWe were talking about relationships.āāØāØāYou were talking about mine?ā
āShe asked whether dating you was tiring,ā Seungmin said.āØāØYou stared at him.āØāØHe took a calm sip.āØāØYour sisterās face reddened. āThat isnāt what I asked.ā
āIt was very close.āāØāØāYouāre twisting my words.āāØāØāI remember them quite clearly.āāØāØYou looked between them.
The ridiculousness of it arrived before the hurt could.āØāØYour sister had finally managed to get Seungmin alone, and she had apparently used the opportunity to explain why being with you must be exhausting.āØāØA laugh slipped out.āØāØYour sisterās mouth tightened. āWhy are you laughing?ā
āBecause you had fifteen minutes.āāØāØāWhat?āāØāØāYou finally got him alone and that was your strategy?āāØāØSeungmin choked on his drink.
Your sister stared at you.āØāØYou turned towards him. āAre you all right?āāØāØHe held up one hand and coughed into the other.āØāØāYouāre horrible,ā he managed.
āYou were thinking it too.āāØāØāI was trying to be polite.āāØāØYour sister placed her cup on the table more firmly than necessary. āNothing happened.āāØāØYou looked at her. āI know.ā
āThen stop acting like you caught me doing something.āāØāØāI didnāt catch you. He told me.āāØāØYour sister stood.āØāØThe legs of her chair scraped against the floor.
āIām going to look at another shop.āāØāØYou glanced at the untouched coffee. āWe just sat down.āāØāØāI remembered something I need.āāØāØShe grabbed her handbag.
Seungmin watched her.āØāØYour sister looked at him, waiting for something.āØāØAn offer to come with her, perhaps.āØāØAn apology.
A private look that confirmed all the things she had decided existed between them.āØāØSeungmin lifted his hand.āØāØFor one hopeful second, she smiled.āØāØThen he pointed towards her cup. āAre you taking that?ā
Her smile disappeared.āØāØāNo.āāØāØāCan I have it?āāØāØYou elbowed him.
āWhat?ā he asked. āShe isnāt drinking it.āāØāØYour sister walked away without answering.āØāØYou watched her disappear into the crowd.āØāØThen you turned slowly towards Seungmin.
He was already reaching for her abandoned coffee.āØāØYou slapped his hand.āØāØāNo.āāØāØāShe said she didnāt want it.ā
āYou donāt know whatās in it.āāØāØāCoffee.āāØāØāShe might have poisoned it.āāØāØāWhy would she poison her own drink?ā
āShe sensed rejection.āāØāØSeungmin laughed.āØāØYou folded your arms. āWhat did she actually say?āāØāØHe gave up on the coffee and leaned back in his chair.
āExactly what I told you.āāØāØāShe asked whether I was tiring?āāØāØāShe implied that you need constant reassurance, said youāre a lot and suggested I probably chose you because Iām kind.āāØāØYour amusement faded a little.
Seungmin noticed immediately.āØāØHis foot slid beside yours under the table.āØāØāShe also told me men usually noticed her first,ā he added.āØāØYou looked at the crowd beyond the window. āShe loves saying that.ā
āI asked which men.āāØāØThat made you smile.āØāØSeungminās knee pressed more firmly against yours.āØāØāShe couldnāt name them.ā
āYou interrogated her?āāØāØāI asked good questions.āāØāØāYou never ask good questions.āāØāØāThatās unfair.ā
You looked back at him.āØāØHe was watching you closely.āØāØNot pushing.āØāØJust waiting.
āWhat else?ā you asked.āØāØSeungmin hesitated. āShe implied I might have chosen differently if Iād met her first.āāØāØA strange little ache settled beneath your ribs.āØāØNot because you believed it.
The idea of Seungmin choosing your sister felt almost comical.āØāØBut because she believed your entire relationship could be reduced to timing.āØāØThat you had simply arrived first and seized something that should have belonged to her.āØāØYou looked down at your cup. āAnd what did you say?ā
āThat Iāve met her now.āāØāØYour mouth twitched.āØāØāThatās all?āāØāØāI thought it was enough.ā
āIt is.āāØāØāShe didnāt like it.āāØāØāIām devastated for her.āāØāØāI also told her I noticed you.ā
Your fingers tightened slightly around the cup.āØāØSeungminās expression softened.āØāØāWhat?āāØāØāNothing.ā
He leaned closer, lowering his voice. āI noticed you.āāØāØYou fought a smile.āØāØYou covered his mouth with your hand.āØāØSeungmin kissed your palm.
You pulled it away immediately.āØāØāThatās disgusting.āāØāØāYou liked that too.āāØāØāYouāre so pleased with yourself.ā
āI handled a difficult social situation and bought you the correct drink.āāØāØāYou want a medal?āāØāØāA kiss would be appropriate.āāØāØāYouāre asking for payment?ā
āI did hard labour.āāØāØāYou stood in a coffee queue.āāØāØāWith your sister.āāØāØYou considered that.
Seungmin lifted his eyebrows.āØāØYou leaned over and kissed his cheek.āØāØHe turned his head at the last second, catching the corner of your mouth instead.āØāØYou pulled back.
āThat was cheating.āāØāØāYouāre slow.āāØāØāYou tricked me.āāØāØāYou still kissed me.ā
āBarely.āāØāØāYou can try again.āāØāØāIām not rewarding bad behaviour.āāØāØSeungmin rested one elbow on the table. āThen Iāll have to live with the memory.ā
āYouāre dramatic.āāØāØāI suffered for fifteen minutes.āāØāØāYou were texting me.āāØāØāThat was my lifeline.ā
You laughed and nudged his foot beneath the table.āØāØSeungmin caught your ankle between his.āØāØāYou know sheās going to tell herself you only rejected her because you knew I was coming back.āāØāØSeungminās expression became thoughtful. āDo you want me to say it more directly?ā
You looked towards the direction your sister had disappeared.āØāØPart of you wanted him to.āØāØPart of you knew she would turn even that into evidence of something else.āØāØāShe hasnāt actually admitted she wants you,ā you said.
āShe invited herself on our date.āāØāØāWeāre buying Mum bowls.āāØāØāA highly romantic date.āāØāØSeungmin reached for your hand across the table.
His thumb brushed slowly over your knuckles.āØāØāIf she says something properly,ā he said, āIāll answer properly.āāØāØāYou have answered.āāØāØāI mean without being polite.ā
āThat sounds frightening.āāØāØSeungmin squeezed your hand. āTell her that when she tries again.āāØāØYou looked at him.āØāØāWhen?ā
He smiled.āØāØāYou think sheās stopping?āāØāØYou glanced once more towards the crowd.āØāØāNo.ā
āNeither do I.āāØāØThere was a pause.āØāØThen Seungmin brightened. āCan we go back for the dog?āāØāØāNo.ā
āHe could be part of your mumās present.āāØāØāShe would hate him.āāØāØāSheād learn to love him.āāØāØāYou only knew him for ten minutes.ā
āThat was enough.āāØāØSeungmin smiled and lifted your hand to his mouth.āØāØThis time, he kissed your knuckles slowly.āØāØYou let him.
Your sister returned ten minutes later carrying nothing.āØāØNeither of you mentioned it.āØāØSeungmin did, however, remain close to you for the rest of the afternoon.āØāØHis hand at your waist when people passed too close. His fingers laced through yours on the escalator. His chin briefly resting on your shoulder while you examined candles. His mouth near your ear when he whispered that one of them smelled like āan expensive wardrobeā.
Your sister tried to walk beside him.āØāØSeungmin kept drifting back towards you.āØāØShe asked his opinion.āØāØHe asked yours.
She suggested shops.āØāØHe followed wherever you went.āØāØBy the time you left the shopping centre, your sister had stopped speaking unless someone addressed her directly.āØāØThe three of you stood near the station while she checked the time.
āMy trainās in five minutes,ā she said.āØāØYour sister adjusted her handbag and looked at Seungmin. āIt was nice spending time with you.āāØāØāYou too.āāØāØāWe should do it again.ā
You looked at him.āØāØHe looked at you.āØāØYour sister noticed.āØāØāWithout making it into a whole family thing,ā she added.
You raised your eyebrows.āØāØSeungmin slipped his arm around your shoulders. āI think she comes with me.āāØāØYour sister laughed. āYouāre allowed separate friends.āāØāØāI have friends.ā
āShe means her,ā you said.āØāØāI know.āāØāØYour sisterās cheeks coloured.āØāØāThat isnāt what I meant.ā
āWhat did you mean?ā Seungmin asked.āØāØShe looked at him.āØāØHe waited.āØāØHis expression was pleasant.
Curious.āØāØEntirely unwilling to rescue her.āØāØYour sisterās train arrived with a rush of noise behind her.āØāØShe glanced towards the platform.
āI have to go.āāØāØāYou should hurry,ā you said.āØāØShe hugged you briefly.āØāØWhen she turned towards Seungmin, he lifted the shopping bag between them.
Your sister stopped.āØāØHe smiled politely.āØāØāBye.āāØāØFor a moment, she looked as though she might push around the bag and hug him anyway.
Then she stepped back.āØāØāBye.āāØāØYou watched her hurry towards the train.āØāØAs soon as she was out of earshot, Seungmin lowered the bag.
āYou used Mumās bowls as a shield,ā you said.āØāØāI panicked.āāØāØāYouāre very brave.āāØāØāShe hugged me last time.ā
āTerrifying.āāØāØāI didnāt know what else to do.āāØāØāYou could have hugged her.āāØāØSeungmin looked horrified. āWhy would I do that?ā
āSheās confident and sophisticated.āāØāØāStop.āāØāØāMore your type.āāØāØHe pointed at you. āWe discussed this.ā
āShe only needs an opportunity.āāØāØāYouāre becoming annoying.āāØāØāBecoming?āāØāØāMore annoying.ā
You smiled.āØāØSeungmin stared at you for a second.āØāØThen he hooked one arm around your waist and lifted you just enough that your shoes left the ground.āØāØYou yelped.
āPut me down!āāØāØāTake it back.āāØāØāWeāre in public!āāØāØāI donāt care.ā
You grabbed his shoulders, laughing as he carried you several steps away from the platform.āØāØSeungmin lowered you carefully to the ground.āØāØHis smile softened.āØāØSeungmin took your hand again, swinging it once between you before pulling you towards the station exit.
āCome on,ā he said. āWe have to go back.āāØāØāFor what?āāØāØāThe dog.āāØāØāWe are not buying the dog.ā
āHeās waiting for us.āāØāØāHeās ceramic.āāØāØāHeāll think we abandoned him.āāØāØāYou said I was the abandoned animal.ā
āI can rescue both of you.āāØāØāYou already complain that I take up too much space.āāØāØāHeās small.āāØāØāI hate you.ā
Seungmin kissed the side of your head.āØāØHe smiled and kept walking.āØāØYou followed, because the station exit was in the same direction as the shop.āØāØNot because you had agreed to buy the dog.
Definitely not.āØāØWhen your mum opened her birthday present a week later, she found a beautiful set of handmade serving bowls.āØāØAnd, tucked between them, a tiny ceramic dog wearing a crown.āØāØShe stared at it.
You stared at Seungmin.āØāØSeungmin looked unbearably pleased.
ą±Øą§
By the time you finished getting ready, Seungmin had changed his shirt twice, complained about both options and somehow blamed you for the fact that neither looked right.āØāØāYou said the black one was nice,ā he reminded you from the bedroom doorway.āØāØāIt was nice.āāØāØāAnd then you told me to wear the blue one.ā
āBecause the blue one is nicer.āāØāØāSo the black one was ugly.āāØāØāThat isnāt what I said.āāØāØāItās what you implied.ā
You turned away from the mirror and looked at him. He stood with both shirts hanging from one hand, his hair still slightly damp from the shower and an expression of genuine betrayal on his face.āØāØāYouāre having a crisis over two nearly identical shirts.āāØāØāThey arenāt nearly identical.āāØāØāOne is black and one is very dark blue.ā
āExactly.āāØāØYou stared at him.āØāØSeungmin stared back.āØāØThen his gaze drifted slowly down your body.
The offence disappeared from his expression.āØāØYou had chosen an outfit that made you feel good. You suspected you would regret that decision later, but Seungminās reaction made it worth it.āØāØHe looked at you for long enough that you lifted an eyebrow. āWhat?āāØāØāNothing.ā
You tried not to smile. āHave you not seen me before?āāØāØāNot in that.āāØāØāYou watched me put it on.āāØāØāI was distracted.ā
āBy what?āāØāØāThe shirt crisis.āāØāØYou laughed and turned back towards the mirror. Seungmin abandoned both shirts on the bed and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.āØāØāYou look pretty,ā he murmured, resting his chin on your shoulder.
āOnly pretty?āāØāØHis eyes narrowed at your reflection. āDonāt become demanding.āāØāØāYou stared at me for thirty seconds. I expected something better.āāØāØāYou look very pretty.ā
āThatās the same thing with an extra word.āāØāØāYou look so pretty that Iām reconsidering letting you leave the flat.āāØāØYou smiled. āBetter.āāØāØāI knew you were fishing.ā
āI enjoy compliments.āāØāØāI know.āāØāØSeungmin kissed the side of your neck, then another spot slightly lower. You tilted your head instinctively before remembering you had spent far too long getting ready.āØāØāDonāt ruin my makeup.ā
āIām nowhere near your makeup.āāØāØāYouāll work your way up.āāØāØāThat sounds like encouragement.āāØāØYou caught his wrists and pulled his arms away. Seungmin resisted just enough to make it difficult, then released you with an exaggerated sigh.
āYou donāt love me anymore.āāØāØāIām trying to get us to the party.āāØāØāChan said eight.āāØāØāItās quarter past.ā
āExactly. Weāre early.āāØāØYou looked at him through the mirror. āFor what?āāØāØāA party.āāØāØāThat started fifteen minutes ago.ā
āSocial events have a grace period.āāØāØāYou invented that because youāre never ready on time.āāØāØāI was ready.āāØāØāYou arenāt wearing a shirt.ā
Seungmin looked down at his bare chest, then at the two shirts abandoned on the bed.āØāØYour phone buzzed on the dressing table.āØāØYou picked it up.āØāØYour sister had messaged.
Are you there yet?āØāØA second message followed before you could reply.āØāØIs Seungmin going straight from yours?āØāØYou turned the screen towards him.
Seungmin read both messages. His face remained blank for one beat, then he placed his chin back on your shoulder.āØāØāShe misses me.āāØāØāShe saw you last week.āāØāØāA long separation.ā
āShe didnāt ask whether I was going straight from mine.āāØāØāShe knows youāll be there.āāØāØāShe also knows youāll be there.āāØāØāThat must be why she asked to come.ā
You laughed and nudged him backwards with your hip. āPut the blue shirt on.āāØāØāThe black one makes my shoulders look better.āāØāØāThen wear the black one.āāØāØāYou said the blue was nicer.ā
āSeungmin.āāØāØHe smiled and kissed your cheek before finally retrieving the blue shirt.āØāØYou replied to your sister while he dressed.āØāØWeāre leaving soon. Bring the drinks you promised Chan.
Her response came almost immediately.āØāØWhatās Seungmin wearing?āØāØYou looked up.āØāØHe was buttoning the blue shirt.
You considered sending her a photograph of the black one lying empty on the bed.āØāØInstead, you typed:āØāØClothes xāØāØSeungmin glanced over. āWhat did you say?ā
āNothing important.āāØāØāYouāre smiling.āāØāØāIām entertaining myself.āāØāØāIs she seducing me remotely now?ā
āApparently she needs to prepare.āāØāØāFor what?āāØāØāTo be more your type.āāØāØSeungmin finished the final button and walked towards you. āYouāre enjoying this far too much.ā
āItās funny.āāØāØāUntil she touches my arm fifteen times.āāØāØāMaybe she thinks thatās where your romantic feelings are stored.āāØāØāThat would explain why I keep trying to get away.ā
You laughed, and Seungminās smile softened. He reached out to fix the chain of your necklace where it had twisted, his fingers careful against the back of your neck.āØāØāTell me if it stops being funny,ā he said.āØāØThe words were quiet enough to change the air between you.āØāØYou turned.
Seungmin let his hands settle at your waist.āØāØāI will.āāØāØāPromise?āāØāØāYou already made me promise.ā
āIām making you do it again.āāØāØāVery controlling.āāØāØāVery caring.āāØāØāDebatable.ā
He squeezed your waist. āPromise.āāØāØYou rested both hands against his chest. āI promise.āāØāØSatisfied, Seungmin kissed your forehead. Then he leant back and examined his shirt in the mirror.āØāØāDo my shoulders look strange?ā
You pushed him towards the door.
ą±Øą§
The party remained civilised for approximately forty minutes.āØāØThen Changbin brought out the shot glasses.āØāØChan saw them from across the room and immediately shook his head. āTake it easyāāØāØāYou bought the alcohol,ā Changbin reminded him.
Jisung appeared beside the kitchen counter as though summoned by the word drinking. āShots are normal.āāØāØāYou said that last time and threw up in my shoes.āāØāØāThat was unrelated.āāØāØāIt was directly related.ā
Felix slid into the space beside Jisung and began examining the bottles. You followed closely behind him, your own drink already mostly gone.āØāØSeungmin caught your wrist before you could reach for anything.āØāØāYouāre not doing shots.āāØāØYou looked at his hand around your wrist, then at him. āExcuse me?ā
āYouāve already had three drinks.āāØāØāSo have you.āāØāØāI can still walk in a straight line.āāØāØāI can walk in a straight line.ā
Seungmin released you and pointed towards the hallway.āØāØYou stared at him.āØāØHe lifted his eyebrows.āØāØāYou want me to demonstrate?ā
āYes.āāØāØYou placed your empty glass on the counter and turned towards the hallway with as much dignity as you could manage.āØāØFelix and Jisung watched in complete silence.āØāØYou took three perfectly respectable steps.
Then your hip struck the edge of the sofa.āØāØYou stopped.āØāØSeungmin smiled.āØāØāThe sofa moved.ā
āItās been there all night.āāØāØāIt knew I was trying to prove something.āāØāØJisung nodded seriously. āFurniture can sense weakness.āāØāØMinho, sitting nearby with his ankle resting over one knee, looked at him. āThat explains why you keep walking into doors.ā
Jisung placed a hand over his chest. āWhy are you attacking me?āāØāØāBecause you make it easy.āāØāØJisung abandoned the counter and dropped onto the sofa beside him. Within seconds, his legs were stretched across Minhoās lap.āØāØMinho glanced down but made no effort to move them.
You pointed towards them. āHe canāt walk straight either.āāØāØāHeās sitting,ā Seungmin said.āØāØāHe was walking badly earlier.āāØāØChangbin began pouring.
Hyunjin took the bottle from Changbin before he could overfill the glasses. āAt least make them even. Youāre pouring like youāve never seen liquid before.āāØāØāIām being generous.āāØāØāYouāre trying to kill Jisung.āāØāØJisung lifted his head from Minhoās shoulder. āYes please.ā
Minho pressed one hand against his forehead and pushed him back down. āYou accept nothing.āāØāØYou managed to claim a glass before Seungmin could stop you.āØāØFelix took one.āØāØJisung reached for another, but Minho lifted it out of reach.
Jisung stared at him. āGive it.āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāYou arenāt my father.āāØāØāThank fuck for that.ā
āYou canāt control me.āāØāØMinho looked at the legs still resting across his lap. āStand up, then.āāØāØJisung considered it.āØāØāNo.ā
āThought so.āāØāØFelix passed Jisung his own glass beneath the edge of the table.āØāØMinho saw.āØāØHe allowed it.
You caught his eye.āØāØMinho shrugged and took another drink.āØāØāTraitor,ā Seungmin told him.āØāØāIām off duty.ā
āYou were never on duty,ā Chan said.āØāØāExactly.āāØāØChangbin raised his glass. āTo Chan finally letting us have fun.āāØāØāThis is my party.ā
āThen act like it.āāØāØChan swore at him, but lifted his drink anyway.āØāØEveryone crowded closer.āØāØYour friend remained beside your sister near the end of the counter, amused but still slightly removed from the intimacy of the group. You caught her eye and held up your glass.
She lifted hers back.āØāØYour sister barely noticed.āØāØShe was watching Seungmin.āØāØHe stood behind you with one hand resting against your hip, his thumb moving absently beneath the hem of your top.
You leaned back into him.āØāØāTo being hot,ā Hyunjin said.āØāØJeongin nodded. āFinally, something relevant.āāØāØChan looked around the group. āCan we toast to something normal?ā
āNo,ā everyone replied.āØāØThe shot burned on the way down.āØāØFelix coughed.āØāØYou squeezed your eyes shut and grabbed the first solid thing you found.
It was Changbinās arm.āØāØāFuck.āāØāØChangbin laughed. āYou agreed to it.āāØāØāThat tasted like paint stripper.ā
āYouāve never tasted paint stripper.āāØāØāMaybe I have.āāØāØSeungmin pulled you backwards against his chest. āAnd this is why you werenāt doing shots.āāØāØYou turned in his arms. āI did one.ā
āYou nearly died.āāØāØāI recovered.āāØāØāYouāre still holding Changbin.You could have held me.āāØāØYou looked down to find your hand still wrapped around Changbinās bicep and slowly released him. āCome back when youāve got biceps, bud.ā
Seungmin stared at you for a beat before catching you around the waist and pulling you firmly against his chest. āYou seemed perfectly happy with mine earlier.āāØāØYou placed a hand against his arm as though inspecting it. āTheyāre all right.āāØāØHis grip tightened. āAll right?āāØāØYou smiled. āMaybe a little better than that.ā
ą±Øą§
Someone suggested a drinking game.āØāØNobody later remembered who.āØāØYou all ended up sitting in a loose circle around the living room with bottles, half-empty glasses and bowls of food scattered between you.āØāØYour friend sat beside your sister on the sofa. You were on the floor between Felix and Seungmin, with your back against Seungminās legs. His hand rested loosely at the base of your throat, occasionally brushing your hair aside.
Jisung had begun the game beside Minho.āØāØBy the third round, he was mostly sitting on him.āØāØāNever have I ever,ā Jeongin began, smiling in a way that immediately made Chan suspicious, ālied to get out of plans with someone in this room.āāØāØNearly everyone drank.
Chan stared at the group. āAre you serious?āāØāØāYou make too many plans,ā Seungmin said.āØāØāI ask whether you want dinner.āāØāØāThatās still a plan.ā
You lifted your glass.āØāØSeungmin looked down at you. āWhen did you lie to me?āāØāØYou took a long sip.āØāØHis fingers tightened gently at the back of your neck.
āWhen?āāØāØYou smiled into your drink. āNext question.āāØāØāNo. Weāre staying here.āāØāØFelix laughed. āShe said she was ill once because she wanted to watch a film with us.ā
Seungmin stared at you.āØāØāYou exposed me,ā you told Felix.āØāØāI forgot it was a secret.āāØāØāYou chose them over me?ā Seungmin asked.
āYou were working.āāØāØāYou still lied.āāØāØāYou wouldāve sulked.āāØāØāI am sulking now.ā
You twisted around to look at him. āDo you need a kiss?āāØāØSeungmin considered the offer.āØāØāYes.āāØāØYou kissed him quickly.
He kept one hand against your jaw and prevented you from moving away.āØāØāThat was inadequate.āāØāØEveryone groaned.āØāØYou laughed against his mouth before kissing him again, slower this time.
When you finally pulled away, Changbin threw a crisp at Seungminās head.āØāØāSome of us are single.āāØāØāYou donāt have to watch,ā Seungmin said.āØāØāYouāre in the middle of the room.ā
āLook somewhere else.āāØāØHyunjin placed one hand against Changbinās cheek and turned his face away. āThere. Problem solved.āāØāØChangbin bit his palm.āØāØHyunjin screamed.
The game continued.āØāØāNever have I ever had a crush on someone in this room,ā Felix said.āØāØSilence fell.āØāØThen Jeongin drank.
Hyunjin drank.āØāØChangbin drank.āØāØJisung lifted his glass, looked around and drank twice.āØāØMinho looked at him. āTwice?ā
Jisung rested his chin on Minhoās shoulder. āI contain multitudes.āāØāØMinho took Jisungās glass and drank from it.āØāØThe room erupted.āØāØJisung stared at him, eyes widening. āWas that your answer?ā
āIt was your drink.āāØāØāYou have your own.āāØāØāI wanted yours.āāØāØāThat is not an answer.ā
Minho smiled into the rim of the glass.āØāØYou turned towards Felix.āØāØHe was already looking at you.āØāØBoth of you burst out laughing.
āDonāt,ā Minho warned.āØāØYou covered your mouth with both hands.āØāØSeungminās chest shook behind you.āØāØYour sister remained completely still.
You could feel her watching.āØāØFelix nudged your knee. āYou didnāt drink.āāØāØāIām dating someone in the room.āāØāØāThat doesnāt mean you never had a crush.ā
Seungminās fingers slid beneath your chin and turned your face towards him.āØāØāYou had better drink.āāØāØYou stared at him. āWhy?āāØāØāBecause you had a crush on me.ā
āThat was never confirmed.āāØāØāYou asked Chan for my number.āāØāØThe group laughed.āØāØYour sisterās glass stopped halfway to her mouth.
Seungminās eyes flicked towards her, then back to you.āØāØYour smile softened despite the alcohol.āØāØFelix made an emotional noise.āØāØMinho pointed at him. āDonāt fucking start.ā
Felixās eyes had already begun shining.āØāØāIām fine.āāØāØāYouāre about to cry.āāØāØāI just think theyāre cute.ā
Seungmin felt you sniff.āØāØāNo.āāØāØāIām not doing anything.āāØāØāYouāre crying.ā
āFelix started it.āāØāØFelix wiped beneath one eye. āIām happy.āāØāØāThat makes it worse,ā Seungmin said.āØāØYou twisted and threw your arms around him.
He caught you automatically.āØāØāI love you.āāØāØSeungmin sighed, but his arms tightened around your waist.āØāØāI love you too.ā
ą±Øą§
The music became louder after that.āØāØSo did everyone.āØāØChan lost control of the playlist when you, Felix and Jisung began shouting over every song until he played something you liked. By then, the coffee table had disappeared beneath bottles, crushed cans and bowls of snacks nobody remembered opening. Somebody had spilt something sticky beside the sofa. Changbin had taken his shirt off for reasons nobody understood, and Hyunjin kept threatening to throw it out of the nearest window.āØāØYou, Felix and Jisung dragged one another into the middle of the room.
At first, you actually danced.āØāØFelix knew what he was doing even while drunk. Jisung knew what he was doing until something distracted him, which happened every ten seconds. You possessed confidence far beyond your ability and therefore believed you looked incredible.āØāØChangbin encouraged that delusion by cheering whenever you moved.āØāØHyunjin attempted to correct your posture once.
You told him to fuck off.āØāØHe looked deeply wounded. āIām trying to save you.āāØāØāI donāt need saving.āāØāØāYouāre dancing like your limbs have separate plans.ā
āTheyāre expressing themselves.āāØāØFelix laughed and caught your waist before you could stumble into the coffee table. Jisung pressed against your back, shouting the lyrics directly beside your ear while the three of you moved with very little coordination and enormous enthusiasm.āØāØFrom the sofa, Seungmin watched you.āØāØHis blue shirt had come unbuttoned slightly at the throat, his hair had fallen across his forehead and his cheeks were warm from the alcohol. One hand rested around his glass while his eyes remained fixed on you.
Your sister sat only a few feet away.āØāØShe attempted to speak to him twice.āØāØHe answered politely, but barely looked in her direction.āØāØWhen you caught his gaze, you smiled and crooked one finger towards him.
Seungmin shook his head.āØāØYou did it again.āØāØHe lifted his drink as though that explained why he could not move.āØāØYou pouted.
That worked.āØāØSeungmin put the glass down and crossed the room.āØāØFelix released your waist with a grin. Jisung remained attached to you until Minho appeared behind him, hooked an arm around his middle and pulled him backwards.āØāØJisung laughed and twisted in his hold. āJealous?ā
Minho murmured something into his ear.āØāØWhatever it was made Jisungās face turn bright red.āØāØFelix screamed.āØāØYou screamed because Felix did.
Seungmin caught your face between both hands. āWhy are you shouting?āāØāØYou pointed vaguely towards Minho and Jisung. āSomething happened.āāØāØāNothing happened,ā Minho said without looking at you.āØāØJisung buried his face against his shoulder.
You grinned. āSomething definitely happened.āāØāØMinho gave you a warning look.āØāØYou immediately turned back to Seungmin and began adjusting his collar as though that had always been your intention.āØāØāCoward,ā Seungmin murmured.
āYouāre supposed to protect me.āāØāØāFrom the consequences of your own behaviour?āāØāØāYouāre my boyfriend.āāØāØāThat isnāt what that means.ā
His hands slid to your waist as the song changed. You pulled him closer, and although he continued pretending not to dance, his body fell easily into the rhythm of yours.āØāØāThere,ā you said. āYouāre dancing.āāØāØāIām standing near you.āāØāØāYouāre moving.ā
āYou keep dragging me around.āāØāØāYou love it.āāØāØSeungmin lowered his mouth beside your ear. āI love you.āāØāØThe softness of it caught beneath your ribs.
You turned and kissed him.āØāØHe kissed you back without hesitation, one hand spreading across the small of your back while the party surged around you. Someone wolf-whistled. Someone else shouted at them to shut the fuck up.āØāØYou suspected one of them had been Changbin.āØāØWhen you pulled away, Seungmin followed far enough to steal another brief kiss.
āYouāre clingy,ā you murmured.āØāØāYou called me over.āāØāØāAnd you came.āāØāØāYou pouted.ā
āThatās all it takes?āāØāØāUnfortunately.āāØāØYou smiled and kissed the edge of his jaw.āØāØHis eyes closed.
āAgain.āāØāØāYouāre demanding.āāØāØYou kissed his jaw again, and Seungminās grip tightened around your waist.āØāØAcross the room, your sister emptied the rest of her glass.
You barely noticed.āØāØSeungminās attention had already wandered from dancing to pressing lazy kisses against whatever part of you happened to be closestāyour temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth.āØāØWhen his lips brushed beneath your ear, you laughed and pushed lightly at his chest. āYouāve completely stopped dancing.āāØāØāI never started.ā
āYou came over.āāØāØāYou summoned me.āāØāØāI moved one finger.āāØāØāVery controlling.ā
His hand settled lower against your back, holding you close when somebody squeezed past.āØāØYou reached up and fixed his collar again. āYou look messy.āāØāØāYou made me messy.āāØāØāThat sounds suggestive.ā
āIt was meant to.āāØāØHis smile turned slow and pleased.āØāØBefore he could say anything worse, Felix collided gently with your side and caught your hand. āI need her.āāØāØSeungmin kept one arm around you. āYouāve had her for three songs.ā
āThe next oneās important.āāØāØāTheyāve all been important,ā you said.āØāØSeungmin looked at Felix. āYou sound like her.āāØāØāThatās why she loves me.ā
Felix pulled. Seungmin held on.āØāØYou found yourself stretched between them.āØāØāDonāt make me choose.āāØāØFelix smiled. āYouāll choose me.ā
Seungminās eyebrows lifted. āChoose carefully.āāØāØYou pretended to consider it before twisting out of Seungminās arm, kissing him quickly and letting Felix drag you away.āØāØāCoward,ā Seungmin called after you.āØāØāYou still got a kiss!ā
āBarely.āāØāØYou laughed as Felix pulled you back into the crowd.āØāØThe next hour dissolved into heat, noise and flashes of movement.āØāØHyunjin danced as though someone might be filming him. Changbin attempted to copy him with enough force to make the floor shake.
Nearby, Minho took the glass out of Jisungās hand and drank from it himself.āØāØJisung watched him. āYou said I couldnāt have that.āāØāØāYou canāt.āāØāØāBut you can?ā
āYes.āāØāØāThatās hot.āāØāØMinho looked away, but not before you saw him smile.āØāØSomeone produced two microphones.
The karaoke began badly and deteriorated almost immediately.āØāØYou, Felix and Jisung chose a song all three of you knew, which would have helped if any of you had agreed on when to start. Jisung came in too early. You missed half the first line. Felix attempted to hold the performance together and ended up laughing so hard that he could no longer sing.āØāØChangbin provided backing vocals without a microphone.āØāØHyunjin acted out the lyrics from the sofa.
Chan kept trying to lower the volume and being shouted at whenever the music became even slightly quieter.āØāØBy the second song, you had abandoned any pretence of performing well. You and Felix shared one microphone while Jisung used the other for increasingly dramatic ad-libs that had nothing to do with the actual song.āØāØHalfway through the chorus, you passed close enough to the sofa for Seungmin to hook his fingers around your wrist.āØāØHe pulled.
You landed sideways across his lap, and the microphone struck his shoulder.āØāØāShit. Sorry.āāØāØSeungmin took it from you before you could hit him again. āOuch.āāØāØāIām performing.ā
āYouāre screaming into expensive equipment.āāØāØHe placed the microphone safely on the table.āØāØFelix shouted your name.āØāØYou tried to stand, but Seungmin held your waist.
āI have responsibilities,ā you told him.āØāØāYou have absolutely no responsibilities.āāØāØāFelix needs me.āāØāØFelix and Jisung had abandoned the song and were arguing with Chan about whether the lyrics on the screen were wrong.
Seungmin looked towards them. āThey seem busy.āāØāØāThen I need to help.āāØāØāYou need to stay here for thirty seconds.āāØāØāWhy?ā
āI missed you.āāØāØYour expression softened before you could stop it.āØāØSeungmin smiled, knowing he had won.āØāØāYouāre manipulative.ā
You settled more comfortably across his thighs, one arm circling his shoulders. Seungmin rested his face against your chest and closed his eyes while your fingers moved through his hair.āØāØAcross from you, your sisterās gaze remained fixed on his hand resting against your thigh.āØāØYour friend was speaking to her.āØāØYour sister nodded without listening.
By one in the morning, the party had split between the living room, the kitchen and the balcony.āØāØThe music remained loud enough to vibrate through the floor. People drifted between conversations with drinks they had not poured and jackets that did not belong to them. Someone had opened a window, but the room was still hot with too many bodies and the sharp mixture of alcohol, perfume and whatever Changbin had sprayed after insisting he smelled fine.āØāØYour friend remained mostly with your sister.āØāØShe laughed whenever the group became loud enough to include everyone, but she never tried to force herself into the easy physical closeness surrounding the boys.
You checked on her whenever you remembered.āØāØEach time, she assured you she was fine.āØāØYour sister always said the same.āØāØThe fourth time you approached, your friend caught your wrist. āYou are incredibly drunk.ā
You looked down at yourself. āIām standing.āāØāØāBarely.āāØāØYour friend laughed.āØāØYour sister did not. āSheās been throwing herself around for hours. She always gets like this when she drinks.ā
There was something dismissive beneath the words.āØāØYou recognised it even through the alcohol.āØāØYour friend did too.āØāØāShe looks like sheās having fun,ā she replied.
āIām having an incredible time,ā you announced.āØāØāI can tell.āāØāØYour sister glanced across the room towards Seungmin. āHe must be exhausted.āāØāØYou followed her gaze.
Seungmin was beside Chan, listening to Changbin explain something with far too much hand movement. He caught you looking almost immediately and lifted one eyebrow in silent question.āØāØYou smiled.āØāØHe smiled back.āØāØāDoes he look exhausted?ā you asked.
āHeās spent the whole night following you around.āāØāØāHe likes me.āāØāØāIām aware.āāØāØBefore the conversation could sharpen, Felix appeared behind you and looped an arm around your shoulders. āThere you are.ā
āIāve been here.āāØāØāYou disappeared.āāØāØāI was checking on them.āāØāØFelix glanced towards your friend and sister. āEverything good?ā
Your friend nodded. āWeāre fine.āāØāØYour sister smiled at him. āWe were talking.āāØāØāGreat. Iām stealing her.āāØāØāYou always steal her,ā your sister said.
Felix laughed as though she had made a joke. āEveryone does.āāØāØHe pulled you towards the kitchen.āØāØYou looked back once.āØāØYour friend gave you a small, reassuring smile.
Your sister was already watching Seungmin again.āØāØIn the kitchen, Jisung was sitting on the counter while Minho stood between his knees, holding a glass out of reach.āØāØāThatās mine,ā Jisung complained.āØāØāIt was yours.ā
āIām not finished.āāØāØāYou said the room was spinning.āāØāØāIt stopped.āāØāØāWhen?ā
āWhen I closed one eye.āāØāØFelix immediately took Jisungās side. āGive it back.āāØāØMinho looked at him. āYouāre a terrible influence.āāØāØāYouāre drinking too,ā you pointed out.
āI can handle it.āāØāØāSo can I.āāØāØMinho gave up and handed the drink to you instead.āØāØJisung gasped. āThatās mine.ā
āYouāre too drunk.āāØāØāSo are you.āāØāØāIām handling it better.āāØāØFelix took the glass from you and drank before either of you could protest.
Minho laughed.āØāØIt was becoming obvious that he was far drunker than he appeared. His movements were still controlled and his words remained clear, but his eyes had softened and he was smiling much too often.āØāØYou stepped into the space beside him and wrapped both arms around his waist.āØāØMinho looked down. āWhatās this?ā
āIām appreciating you.āāØāØāYouāre crushing my shirt.āāØāØYou rested your cheek against his chest. āYou smell nice.āāØāØāNone of you are getting another drink.ā
āYou ruined it,ā you complained.āØāØāHe ruins everything,ā Jisung agreed.āØāØMinho caught Jisungās chin and tilted his face upwards. āYou can barely keep both eyes open.āāØāØāI only need one.ā
āFor what?āāØāØāTo look at you.āāØāØMinho stared at him.āØāØYou buried your face against Minhoās shoulder to hide your laughter.
Jisung looked unbearably pleased with himself.āØāØMinhoās ears turned pink. āYouāre a fucking menace.āāØāØāYou love me.āāØāØSeungmin entered the kitchen before anyone could comment.
He looked at Minhoās arm around you and Jisung hanging over his shouldersāØāØThen he looked at Minho. āYouāve collected them.āāØāØāI didnāt.āāØāØSeungmin approached and slid both hands onto your hips. āYou keep disappearing.ā
āYou were talking.āāØāØāI can talk while holding you.āāØāØāThat sounds inconvenient.āāØāØāIām talented.ā
Minho nodded towards you. āTake her before she asks for another shot.āāØāØYou turned in Seungminās arms. āHeās trying to get rid of me.āāØāØāYouāre attached to his shirt.āāØāØāI like him.ā
āYou like everyone tonight.āāØāØāI like everyone every night.āāØāØSeungminās expression softened.āØāØThe next drinking game began in the kitchen because nobody could be bothered to move.
It was meant to be truth or drink.āØāØWithin minutes, it became an excuse to ask invasive questions and shout whenever somebody refused to answer.āØāØChangbin joined first, followed by Hyunjin and Jeongin. Chan arrived last, realised what was happening and attempted to leave.āØāØYou caught his wrist. āNo.ā
āIām hosting.āāØāØāYouāre hiding.āāØāØāI need to check the living room.āāØāØJeongin looked towards the doorway. āItās still there.ā
Chan appealed silently to Minho for help.āØāØMinho poured him a drink.āØāØāTraitor.āāØāØāYou chose to host.ā
Everyone crowded around the counter and floor.āØāØYou ended up sitting between Minhoās legs with your back against his chest because the chairs had disappeared beneath coats and bags. Seungmin sat in front of you, one hand wrapped loosely around your ankle. Jisung remained tucked against Minhoās side, his head on his shoulder and one leg draped over yours.āØāØChangbin pointed at you first. āTruth or drink?āāØāØāTruth.ā
āWhatās the most embarrassing thing youāve done because you were jealous?āāØāØSeungmin looked interested.āØāØYou looked at Changbin. āIām not jealous.āāØāØThe entire room laughed.
āThat wasnāt the question,ā Hyunjin said.āØāØYou raised your glass. āThen Iām drinking.āāØāØSeungminās hand tightened around your ankle. āAnswer.āāØāØāYou donāt get to interfere.ā
Everyone shouted.āØāØāCoward,ā Changbin said.āØāØāThatās the point of the game.āāØāØāThe point is to expose yourself.ā
āThat sounds like a different game,ā Jeongin said.āØāØYou chucked at thatāØāØThe questions became worse from there.āØāØFelix refused to reveal who had received a flirtatious message he sent to the wrong person.
Changbin demanded to know whether anybody had ever hooked up somewhere they could have been caught.āØāØHalf the room drank.āØāØChan stared at everyone with a raised eyebrow. āIn my home?āāØāØāNot necessarily,ā Jeongin said.
āThat did not reassure me.āāØāØJisung claimed he had never done anything humiliating because he was horny.āØāØThe entire group drank on his behalf.āØāØāFuck all of you.ā
Minho leant close enough to murmur something beside his ear.āØāØJisungās face turned red again.āØāØYou twisted around. āWhat did he say?āāØāØāNothing.ā
Minho looked unbearably pleased.āØāØYour sister stood at the edge of the kitchen beside your friend.āØāØShe watched Seungminās hand move slowly over your ankle. Then she watched Minhoās arm settle across your middle when you leant back against him.āØāØPerhaps she expected Seungmin to object.
Instead, he reached forward, caught your chin and tilted your face towards his.āØāØāMy turn,ā he said.āØāØYou kissed him.āØāØThe kiss was brief, but intimate enough to inspire several dramatic complaints.
When you pulled away, Seungminās thumb brushed once beneath your lip.āØāØYour sister looked away.āØāØThe game ended when Chan realised the music in the living room was loud enough to make the glasses vibrate.āØāØEveryone returned to dancing.
By then, nobody pretended it was organised.āØāØYou, Felix and Jisung shouted lyrics you barely knew with your arms around one another. Sometimes you danced. Sometimes you merely jumped during the chorus and trusted somebody to catch you.āØāØChangbin joined whenever the song was good.āØāØHyunjin joined whenever he considered the song worthy.
Jeongin joined only to make everyone else look worse.āØāØAt one point, Minho caught your hand as you passed and spun you beneath his arm.āØāØYou nearly completed the movement gracefully.āØāØThen you lost your balance.
Minho caught you against his chest. Jisung caught you from the other side.āØāØThe three of you laughed, tangled together.āØāØSeungmin appeared behind you and closed both hands around your waist.āØāØāYouāre stealing my girlfriend,ā he told Minho.
Minho shrugged. āShe came willingly.āāØāØāHe spun me.āāØāØāYou asked,ā Minho reminded you.āØāØSeungmin looked down at you. āYou ask everyone for things.ā
āAnd they give them to me.āāØāØāThatās because youāre spoilt.āāØāØāBy you.āāØāØāMostly.ā
He kissed your forehead.āØāØYou leant into him, suddenly overwhelmed by the warmth of the room and how much you loved everyone in it.āØāØAcross the room, your friend smiled at the sight.āØāØYour sister finished another drink.
By the time you needed the bathroom, you were far beyond pleasantly drunk.āØāØYou were still awake, still talking and technically capable of walking, but the room tilted whenever you turned too quickly.āØāØSeungmin noticed you heading towards the hallway and followed.āØāØYou looked over your shoulder. āWhere are you going?ā
āWith you.āāØāØāI can piss alone.āāØāØāIām making sure you reach the bathroom.āāØāØāThatās insulting.ā
Seungmin caught your waist before you walked into the wall. āExactly.āāØāØYou allowed him to guide you down the hallway, although you complained the entire way.āØāØAt the bathroom door, you planted both hands against his chest. āYou canāt come in.āāØāØāI wasnāt planning to.ā
āYou looked like you were.āāØāØāI was opening the door.āāØāØSeungmin smiled and kissed your forehead. āIāll be here.āāØāØāWhy?ā
āBecause youāll forget where the living room is.āāØāØāItās one hallway.āāØāØāAnd yet.āāØāØYou narrowed your eyes and disappeared into the bathroom.
When you came back out, your sister was standing in front of him.āØāØOne hand rested against the wall beside his shoulder.āØāØSeungmin was leaning away.āØāØāYou could come upstairs with me,ā she said.
He blinked at her. āWhy?āāØāØYou stopped in the doorway.āØāØEven through the alcohol, laughter rose immediately in your chest.āØāØYour sister looked at him as though he were deliberately being stupid. āYou know why.ā
āI genuinely donāt.āāØāØShe moved closer, forcing Seungminās back against the wall.āØāØāWe could have sex.āāØāØFor one long second, Seungmin simply stared at her.
Then his gaze found yours over her shoulder.āØāØYou covered your mouth.āØāØThe expression on his face made it impossible not to laugh. His eyes widened slightly, one corner of his mouth twitching as though he could not decide whether to be horrified or offended.āØāØYour sister followed his gaze and found you standing there.
Her face hardened.āØāØāOh, please. Donāt act like itās ridiculous.āāØāØThat made you laugh harder. āIām sorry. His face.āāØāØāYouāre not helping,ā Seungmin said.
āYou asked why.āāØāØāIt was a reasonable question.āāØāØāShe invited you upstairs.āāØāØāShe couldāve needed something.ā
āAt one in the morning?āāØāØāI didnāt know what she meant.āāØāØāYou did,ā your sister snapped.āØāØSeungmin looked back at her. āApparently not.ā
She folded her arms. āYou havenāt even considered it.āāØāØāNo.āāØāØāWhy?āāØāØHe stared at her.
Then he gave one short, humourless laugh. āBecause I donāt want to.āāØāØāYou donāt know that.āāØāØāI do.āāØāØāYouāve never given me a chance.ā
āIām not required to.āāØāØYour laughter faded.āØāØYour sister stepped closer and reached for his chest.āØāØSeungmin caught her wrist before she could touch him.
āStop.āāØāØThe word was calm.āØāØFirm.āØāØHe moved her hand away and released it.
Humiliation sharpened your sisterās expression as she turned towards you. āYou think this is funny because you assume heād never choose me.āāØāØāI donāt assume it.āāØāØāYou should stop speaking for him.āāØāØāIām standing right here,ā Seungmin said.
She ignored him. āYouāve always done this. You get something and act smug because you know somebody else deserves it more.āāØāØThe alcohol inside you turned suddenly heavy.āØāØYou steadied yourself against the bathroom door. āSomebody else?āāØāØāYou know what I mean.ā
āNo. Say it properly.āāØāØHer eyes travelled over you.āØāØYour clothes had shifted from dancing. Your lipstick was smudged. Your hair was a mess and your balance remained questionable.āØāØYou had never felt happier.
āLook at you,ā she said. āYouāre completely wasted. Heās spent all night following you around while you throw yourself over every man in the room.āāØāØSeungminās expression hardened.āØāØYou laughed softly. āIs that what this is about?āāØāØāIām saying he could do better.ā
āWith you?āāØāØāYes.āāØāØThe certainty would have been impressive if it were not so pathetic.āØāØYour smile disappeared.
Your sister noticed and pushed harder.āØāØāIām prettier. I know how to behave. I donāt need eight men constantly touching me and telling me how special I am.āāØāØāNobody is taking care of me.āāØāØāYou can barely stand.ā
āIām drunk at a party.āāØāØāYouāve been climbing into their laps and letting them put their hands all over you. Itās embarrassing.āāØāØSeungmin stepped away from the wall and moved to your side.āØāØHis hand settled securely at the back of your waist.
Your sister watched it.āØāØāShe hasnāt embarrassed me once,ā he said.āØāØāSheās been all over Minho. Felix practically had his hands under her clothes earlier.āāØāØāSo?ā
Your sister blinked.āØāØSeungminās thumb moved slowly against your side.āØāØāShe loves them,ā he said. āThey love her. I know exactly where I stand.āāØāØāYou should have more self-respect.ā
His eyebrows rose. āYou asked me to cheat on her beside a bathroom.āāØāØāYouāve spent the whole night trying to fuck my boyfriend,ā you said, āand somehow Iām the slut?āāØāØYour sister glared at you.āØāØSeungmin continued before she could answer. āDonāt talk to either of us about self-respect.ā
āYou only say that because sheās standing here.āāØāØāI rejected you when she wasnāt.āāØāØāYou knew sheād find out.āāØāØāI knew because I was going to tell her.ā
āWhy?āāØāØāBecause sheās my girlfriend.āāØāØYour sister shook her head. āYou donāt have to keep settling because she got to you first.āāØāØSeungmin went still.
There it was.āØāØThe belief beneath every comparison and every attempt.āØāØYou had simply reached him first.āØāØHad she met him earlier, dressed better, tried harder or pushed for long enough, he would eventually recognise that he had chosen the wrong sister.
Seungminās arm tightened around you.āØāØāI noticed her,ā he said.āØāØYour sister scoffed. āYou hadnāt met me.āāØāØāIāve met you now.ā
The hallway became very quiet.āØāØMusic still thudded beyond it. Someone laughed in the living room. Your friend called your sisterās name once, distant and uncertain.āØāØSeungmin looked directly at her.āØāØāAnd I still choose her.ā
Your sisterās face changed.āØāØFor a moment, she appeared almost sober.āØāØThen the anger returned.āØāØāShe isnāt better than me.ā
āThis isnāt about whoās better.āāØāØāIt always is.āāØāØāNo,ā you said quietly. āItās always been that way to you.āāØāØShe looked at you.
You could feel Seungmin watching your face.āØāØAt first, it had been funny.āØāØHer unnecessary outfits. Her fake excuses. The way she interpreted Seungminās basic manners as secret attraction.āØāØEven now, the idea that he might accept remained ridiculous.
But the joke had always required you to ignore the part where your sister could not want something without explaining why you deserved it less.āØāØāYou can want him,ā you said. āI donāt care. Itās humiliating for you, but it doesnāt threaten me.āāØāØHer mouth twisted.āØāØāWhat pisses me off is that you canāt admit you want him without telling him Iām ugly, exhausting, childish or not good enough. You donāt flirt with him. You campaign against me.ā
āIāve never called you ugly.āāØāØāYou keep telling everyone youāre prettier.āāØāØāI am.āāØāØSeungmin made a disbelieving sound.
You glanced at him.āØāØāWhat?āāØāØāNothing. Iām trying very hard to remain polite.āāØāØYour sister folded her arms. āSee? Youāve turned him against me.ā
āI didnāt have to. You did that by ignoring him every time he said no.āāØāØThe words landed.āØāØYour sister looked at Seungmin.āØāØHis expression did not soften.
āI thought you were being loyal,ā she said.āØāØāI was being clear.āāØāØāYou were trying not to hurt her.āāØāØāI was trying not to humiliate you.ā
Her cheeks flushed.āØāØSeungminās voice lowered. āYouāve made that impossible.āāØāØYour friend appeared at the far end of the hallway.āØāØShe looked between the three of you, taking in your sisterās expression and Seungminās arm around your waist. āWhat happened?ā
āNothing,ā your sister said immediately.āØāØYou laughed tiredly. āShe asked Seungmin to have sex with her.āāØāØYour friendās eyes widened.āØāØāYou didnāt have to say it like that,ā your sister snapped.
āHow should I say it?āāØāØāSheās drunk,ā your friend said carefully.āØāØāSo am I.āāØāØāI know.ā
Your friend approached and touched your sisterās arm. āCome and sit down.āāØāØYour sister pulled away. āEveryoneās acting like Iāve done something terrible.āāØāØāYou propositioned my boyfriend after he repeatedly told you he wasnāt interested.āāØāØāYou donāt own him.ā
āNo,ā you said. āI donāt.āāØāØThat stopped her.āØāØYou rested more heavily against Seungminās side but kept your eyes on her.āØāØāHeās a person. He said no. That should have mattered even if I didnāt exist.ā
Your friend looked at your sister. āSheās right.āāØāØBetrayal flashed across your sisterās face. āYouāre supposed to be here with me.āāØāØāIām here because she invited me.āāØāØThe answer was gentle but firm.
Your sister looked between you.āØāØThen she laughed bitterly. āFine. Everyone thinks Iām pathetic.āāØāØNobody answered.āØāØThat seemed to hurt more than any denial would have.
Your friend held out her hand. āCome on.āāØāØAfter a moment, your sister accepted it.āØāØShe allowed herself to be led back towards the living room without looking at either of you again.āØāØYou remained in the hallway.
Seungmin rubbed one hand slowly over your back.āØāØYou watched them disappear.āØāØThen you looked at him. āYou really asked why.āāØāØHis mouth dropped open.
The laughter returned before you could stop it.āØāØSeungmin stared at you. āYouāre impossible.āāØāØāYour face was so confused.āāØāØāShe was vague.ā
āShe had you against a wall.āāØāØāShe said upstairs.āāØāØāAt one in the morning.āāØāØāThat could mean anything.ā
āName one other thing.āāØāØSeungmin opened his mouth.āØāØNothing came out.āØāØYou waited.
His expression grew increasingly offended.āØāØāExactly.āāØāØHe caught your waist in both hands and pulled you closer. āYouāre very annoying.āāØāØāYou love me.ā
āIām reconsidering.āāØāØāNo, you arenāt.āāØāØāNo,ā he admitted.āØāØYour smile softened.
The alcohol made it difficult to hold on to one emotion for long. Amusement blurred into exhaustion, which blurred into the ache your sisterās words had left behind.āØāØSeungmin noticed.āØāØHe always did.āØāØāHey.ā
You looked at him.āØāØHis expression had gentled, eyes warm despite the alcohol. āAre you okay?āāØāØāIām extremely drunk.āāØāØāI know.ā
āSheās a bitch.āāØāØāShe is.āāØāØāI canāt believe she said I throw myself over everyone.āāØāØāYou do,ā Seungmin said, completely unbothered. āLuckily, everyone seems very happy to catch you.ā
āWith all of you.āāØāØāI know.ā His hand settled more firmly at your waist. āIāve never complained.āāØāØāAnd you donāt care?āāØāØSeungmin looked genuinely confused. āWhy would I?ā
You shrugged. āBecause she saidāāāØāØāI donāt care what she said.āāØāØThe answer came quickly enough to interrupt you.āØāØSeungmin lifted your hand and kissed your knuckles.
āI know you,ā he said. āI know them. I know what all of this is.āāØāØHis free hand gestured towards the living room, where Felix was shouting the chorus to another song while Minho told somebody to turn the music down without making any effort to do it himself.āØāØāYouāre my girlfriend,ā Seungmin continued. āThat doesnāt mean you stop belonging with them too.āāØāØSomething warm tightened in your chest.
āThat was disgustingly sweet.āāØāØYou kissed him.āØāØHis hand slid to the back of your neck, keeping you close as the kiss deepened. Nothing frantic. Nothing performed for anybody else.āØāØJust familiar affection in a dim hallway while the party continued metres away.
When you pulled back, Seungmin followed for one more kiss.āØāØThen another.āØāØāYouāre doing too many,ā you murmured.āØāØāIāve lost count.ā
āYou always say that.āāØāØYou laughed and rested your forehead against his.āØāØāThere she is,ā he murmured.āØāØFootsteps sounded behind you.
Felix appeared first, followed by Jisung and Minho.āØāØFelixās expression changed when he saw your face. āAre you okay?āāØāØYou nodded.āØāØJisung looked unusually serious. āYour friend said something happened.ā
āMy sister asked Seungmin to sleep with her.āāØāØJisung stared at Seungmin.āØāØThen at you.āØāØThen back at Seungmin.
āWhy?āāØāØYou burst out laughing.āØāØSeungmin pointed at him. āSee? Reasonable question.āāØāØāThat isnāt what I meant,ā Jisung said quickly. āWhy would she think youād say yes?ā
āThat sounded better after clarification.āāØāØMinho stepped closer and touched the side of your face. āAre you actually all right?āāØāØYou leant into his palm. āMostly.āāØāØāMostly isnāt yes.ā
āShe was being a bitch.āāØāØāI gathered.āāØāØFrom the living room, Changbin shouted, āIf you lot are done fondling each other, weāre doing another round.āāØāØChan shouted back that nobody was doing another fucking shot.
Jeongin appeared in the hallway holding four.āØāØThe party carried on around you.
Summary : After a misunderstanding, your neighbor starts to think he can have you. But Joe quickly make him understand that youāre taken.
Warnings : explicit sexual content; 18+; SMUT; unprotected sex (stay safe guys !!); pinv; fingering; oral sex (f receiving); dirty talk?; gentle and "hard"? sex; pet names; established relationship; FLUFF; Joe is kinda jealous; mod plot than smut; no use of y/n; (tell me if i missed some!!); possible grammatical errors.
Lillie talks : girls iām sorry for not posting it yesterday but i was exhausted š i got this inspiration in the middle of the night a week ago.. and it just made sense to me. Enjoy !! š
English is NOT my first language, sorry if i wrote wrong !! c:
It all started simply. A quick meeting through the hallway. A smile and a nod. A hand to held the elevator doors open for you. And a quick goodbye before getting out of the building.
Few days later, you ran into him again. He was carrying a few grocery bags, struggling to open his door with his only two fingers left. You offered for your help as you stepped out of your apartment, smiling to him like you did to anybody in the streets. āthank youā heād whispered before stepping inside his apartment, after you opened his door for him. You answered with a polite nod, quickly walking towards the elevator.
After few weeks, you started to see him everywhere. While you took out the trash in the middle of the night. While checking the mailboxes early on Mondayās morning. When he came back late from work and you were going out with your friends. At some point the greetings evolved.
āHey, howās it going ?ā He said when you both stepped out of your apartment at the same time.
āHey, iām doing pretty good !ā You answered with a polite smile, the one you give to all of your neighbors, āWhat about you ?ā
āYeah, me too.ā
This somehow became actual conversations that lasted longer than necessary. Nothing really serious, just a way to know more about your neighbors life. Just the kind you develop after crossing paths almost twice a day.
One evening, you were checking your mails after coming back from work. He appeared beside you, stepping out of the elevator.
āEvery time i see you here, you always have a new package in hands.ā He laughed stopping beside you.
You laughed quietly, āI might have a problem.ā
āIāve noticed.ā He smiled back.
Over the following months, the hallway conversations got longer. You learned he worked weird hours, during the night or the weekends. He learned that you often forget your keys inside your apartment, mostly in the middle of the night. You complained about the elevator breaking down. He complained about the noises coming from the next floor. Just normal neighbors stuff. The things you always forget and will act like your remember next time you see each other.
One afternoon, while talking outside your doors, he nodded toward your apartment.
āSo do you live alone ?ā
You shrugged slightly, āMost of the time, yes.ā Which wasnāt wrong. Joe traveled almost every months for a new show, a new filming, a new interview, a new something. Sometimes he was gone for weeks or months.
You neighbor slowly nodded, āCool.ā Heād whispered, grinning.
You smiled and thatās how the conversation ended. But that was apparently all he needed to hear. Because after that, something shifted. Nothing really obvious. He just started to linger a little longer in the middle of the hallway while listening you complain about the old woman living next to you. He started teasing you more and complimenting random things about you.
āNew jacket ?ā Heād asked so casually.
āOh. Yeah.ā
āLooks good.ā
Or something more subtle : āYou cut your hair ?ā
āYeah. Itās that obvious ?ā
āWell, itās hard not to notice.ā He laughed quietly.
But you really never thought much of it. He was friendly, you were friendly. Thatās it. Nothing more.
At least thatās what you thought.
One Friday evening, youād came back home around 8. But not alone this time, ācause Joe was finally back from his tour. Youād spent the entire day out after grabbing Joe from the airport early this morning. He carried a takeout bag in one hand while you searched your purse for your keys.
The elevator doors suddenly opened, revealing your neighbor. His face immediately lit up when he saw you, before his eyes landed on Joe.
You turned your face toward him quickly, quietly greeting him before diving back into your purse.
āHey.ā He answered quietly too. A brief moment of confusion washed visibly over his face. Joe noticed, you didnāt. But he looked back at you.
āLong day ?ā He asked walking toward his door.
āOh, yeah.ā
āYou still owe me that coffee recommendation, by the way.ā
āYeah, right.ā You smiled politely. Joeās eyebrows twitched. The neighbor smiled.
āUnless you want to keep your secrets.ā He laughed.
āTheyāre not secrets.ā You laughed quietly.
āOkay. Then iām still waiting for it.ā
You smiled slightly toward him, finally getting your keys out of your bag. Joeās grip tightened slightly on the takeout bag, his eyes hovering your neighbor. But he smiled politely.
āHave a good night.ā The neighbor said politely to both of you, offering Joe a small nod.
āYeah, you too.ā You answered quickly before opening your apartment door and stepping inside.
Joe followed you inside, shutting the door behind him. You kicked off your shoes as he set down the foods on the kitchen counter. You finally looked up, feeling his gaze on you.
āWhy are you staring at me ?ā You asked pulling your coat off.
āYou seem close with the neighbor.ā
You blinked, āWhat ?ā
āThe neighbor.ā
āWhat about him ? Heās nice.ā
āHeās flirting with you.ā
āNo, heās not.ā You laughed.
āHe literally asked you to show him a coffee place.ā
āThat is not flirting.ā You assured walking around the room.
āHe was smiling at you.ā He followed you around, his eyes widening slightly.
āPeople smile at people when they talk, Joe.ā
He let out a slow breath, āYou donāt see it ?ā You shook your head slowly, āYou genuinely donāt think that heās interested in you ?ā
You shrugged like you didnāt care, āNo.ā Before going back to the kitchen.
Joe still followed you, dragging a hand down his face, āWell, iām telling you that he is.ā He wasnāt even angry or upset, he was genuinely surprised that you didnāt seemed to notice or to care.
You stopped for a second, turning around to face him, āJoe, this is stupid. You know that not every man i talk to wants me.ā
A scoff escaped his lips, āBaby, sincerely youāre way too hot for people not to be into you.ā You rolled your eyes, laughing and turning back around.
āIām a 100% sure that he asked you if you lived alone.ā
āYeah, he did. Why does it matter ?ā
Both his hand dragged down his face, āNow he probably thinks that youāre single.ā You exhaled slowly, listening to the stupid things coming out of his mouth. āThis is the first thing people ask when theyāre into someone.ā
You shook your head, laughing softly, āNo ?ā
āOkay. Think what you want. But I assure you that this man next door is completely in love with you.ā
You laughed louder now, āShut up and come eat your food, or itās either gonna be cold or already in my stomach.ā
āOkay, but promise me that next time he tries to talk to you, youāll stop him with saying that you have a boyfriend.ā
You stared at him, really stared at him. Thinking about the ridiculous thing he just said, āYou know that this is so ridiculous ?ā
āI donāt care.ā He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, āYou have a boyfriend.ā He whispered before kissing your temple softly. You leaned into his touch, smiling.
ā
After approximately an hour, you were sitting on the couch. Your head resting on his shoulder while his fingers stroked your hair slowly, sending little shivers down your spine. You were watching an old movie youād already watched a thousand times before.
āSeriously,ā he started, āwhat coffee recommendations did you give him ?ā
You quickly pulled away, looking directly into his eyes, āSeriously ?ā You asked a little bit pissed.
āUnless you want to keep your secrets.ā He repeated, mocking the way he laughed afterwards.
A small grin found his way to your lips, a small realization clicking, āYouāre jealous ?ā
āIām not jealous.ā
āOh, yes you are, Joseph.ā Your smile widened as his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. He quickly rolled his eyes, leaning back into the cushion. You shook your head slowly, laughing quietly.
ā
Later, after taking a long hot shower, you found yourself crushed under Joeās body on the bed, while he attacked your neck like an hungry shark. You laughed, hand stroking his hair and pulling on them slightly.
His hand slowly drifted under your shirt as he exhaled quietly, his mouth finding yours. Your clothes quickly disappeared on the floor, so did his.
His lips started moving down your body, lingering on your breasts to suck on your nipple, tongue circling it. While his free hand squeezed the other one. You bit your lips, humming softly.
He kept going down, stopping right above your lower lips. His mouth moved to your thigh, kissing it softly. But his lips was on you before you could react. Tongue moving slowly between your folds, causing the first soft moans to escape your lips. His hands were steady on your thighs, holding you open to have more access on your pussy.
āJoe..ā You moaned softly. Your hand found its way back to his hair. Your back arched off the bed while his tongue swirled on your clit.
Your hips began to rock against his face, whimpering a little āfuck-ā between two moans. His face was already glistening from your leak. His grip tightened slightly while one of his hand found your inner thighs, fingers already teasing your hole. Your moans got louder as he finally pushed two fingers inside you.
āCome on, baby.. moan louder for me.ā He murmured before licking a long stripe from your entrance to your clit. Then his tongue pushed inside you, replacing his fingers, gathering more of your arousal and swallowing it down.
āFuck, you taste so good.ā He groaned into your heat. You hand grabbed his hair, pulling on them slightly. Your thighs clenched around his face.
āJoe..ā You cried out, trying to catch your breath. His tongue still playing with your pussy, his thumb circling around your clit.
At some point, your body trembled violently. āCum for me.ā He whispered while sending you over the edge.
You finally came, half of his face now covered of your juice. Little whimpers left your lips as you tried to catch your breath. But Joe wasnāt done. Not yet. Not until the neighbor knows that youāre his.
Because that was it, the reason he wanted you to moan louder than usual. So he quickly crawled back up your body, his mouth and chin glistening. āYouāre prefect, baby.ā He whispered before closing is lips on yours, kissing you softly.
You could feel is hard cock on your thigh as he kissed you deeply. He grabbed himself, positioning his tip to your entrance. Before pushing inside slowly. You were panting heavily as he slid deeper. His tick cock stretched your walls. Until he was completely seated inside of you. His breath mixed with yours.
āDamn, you feel so good.ā He groaned. When he started thrusting, you moaned into his mouth as you half kissed. He was gentle at first, and rough at second. He held himself upright on his elbows on either side of your head. Your nails scratched down his back, leaving little marks.
Your moans were louder than before now as he thrust harder. The only sounds being your moans and his balls slapping on your ass. The headboard knocking on the wall.
āFuck-ā You whined. Your whole body trembled from the sensation of his thick cock inside you.
āYeah.. moans loudly for me, pretty girl.ā He hissed as his fingers laced with yours, pressing your hand down on the mattress. His lips brushed along your jaw, as he himself whimpered softly. āCome on.. I want this stupid neighbor to know who you belong to.ā He managed to say in your ear.
You nodded fastly, he let go off your hand, reaching down and adding extra pressure on your clit. āCome on, say it.ā He whispered.
āIām yours, Joe.ā You moaned loudly before he whispered a little āgood girlā¦ā in your ear. Making you fall apart underneath him, whimpering and moaning. His orgasm crashing rapidly after you, his cum painting your walls. Finally, he collapsed on top of you, out of breath. He kissed softly along your jaw again, while he catches his breath.
Then, he pressed a firm kiss on your forehead, āI think heās the one whoās jealous now.ā He laughed, his forehead falling on yours.
āYouāre stupid Joseph.ā You laughed softly.
āI love you, baby.ā He whispered before kissing your lips.
āI love you, baby.ā You repeated.
You definitely had a good night.
hope you liked this one !! personally i really love it š¤ let me know what you thought !
please don't forget to support the amazing writers behind them!
part one
4-7-8 | series | married couple, husband!jk, angst, jealousy, first love, marriage issues, miscommunication, yearning, hurt/comfort
youāre secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you arenāt so secure about is his first love ā someone who isnāt you.
eveything in you | f2l, roommates au, pregnant!reader, ex!bf jimin, smut (mdi)
you want a baby and Jungkook is willing to help.
depend on me | hybrid au, friends to lovers, roommates au, oblivious!jk, overprotective!jk, smut (mdi)
youāre so used to letting Jungkook do everything for you. he babies you almost and youāre both constantly reminded of the strangeness in your friendship. youāve always loved him but he canāt see you as anything but the little bunny girl he used to protect. you change his mind
long way home | single dad jk, boxer!jk, friends to lovers, angst! | one of my favorites!!
jungkook's life makes an 180 degree turn when he's suddenly a single dad and while you're trying to help him come accustomed to the new circumstances, your long-standing friendship takes new turns as well.
cornflower blue | established relationship, fluff & smut, soft!dom jk, praise, fingering, dirty talk, creampie | mdi !!
nights were your favorite time with your boyfriend. the nights where you laid in bed together, tangled up in each other without any thoughts of the real world.
cry for me | husband!jk, fluff & smut, soft!dom jk, dacryphilia, overstimulation, praise kink, oral, fingering, creampie, cockwarming, smut (mdi)
lazy sunday mornings with your husband always end the same way: jungkook taking care of you, praising you through every tear and reminding you how much he loves you.
after a long night taking care of your baby, your husband notices how exhausted you are and makes it his mission to help you relax, reminding you how loved and appreciated you are.
home | fwb to lovers, hurt/comfort, depressed!reader, green flag!jk, lovesick!jk, confessions, fluff & smut (mdi)
after disappearing for a week and shutting everyone out, you end up at jungkookās apartment. what starts as comfort between friends with benefits turns into long-overdue confessions, reassurance, and a love neither of you can hide anymore.
timing | series | exes to lovers, second chance, parent au, ceo!jk, angst, fluff, smut (mdi), slow burn, emotional growth, family, happy ending.
after years of loving each other at the wrong moments, you and jungkook keep finding your way back together. through heartbreak, missed chances, growing pains, and unexpected twists, you're forced to ask yourselves one question: if you're meant for each other, was it ever about loveāor simply about timing?
shatter with me | mini-series | surrogacy au, model!jk, best friend's husband, forbidden love, pregnancy, infidelity, divorce, heavy angst, slow burn, smut (mdi)
when you agree to become a surrogate for your best friend and her husband, you think you're helping them build the family they've always dreamed of. but as buried secrets come to light and their marriage begins to crumble, you're forced to confront feelings that should have never existed in the first place.
coquet | series | escort!jk, fake dating au, strangers to lovers, wedding au, jealous ex, family drama, angst, fluff, smut (mdi) | this is one of my favorites 4everrrrrr
when you're forced to attend your brother's wedding alongside an ex you never truly got over, hiring an escort seems like the perfect solution. what begins as a simple arrangement soon becomes something much more complicated when jungkook starts feeling less like a stranger and more like someone you never want to let go of.
will it fit? | roommate au, roommate!jk, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, size kink, soft!dom jk, comedy, fluff, smut (mdi), confession
after your roommate catches you in a series of increasingly embarrassing situations, a conversation about a certain dildo spirals into confessions, unresolved tension, and the realization that you've both been crushing on each other for much longer than either of you thought.
under the blankets | boyfriend!jk, established relationship, tattooed couple, body worship, teasing, overstimulation, rough sex, aftercare, fluff & smut (mdi)
what starts as a quiet morning spent admiring each other's tattoos quickly turns into a heated reminder of just how obsessed you and jungkook are with one another.
daddy issues | older!jk, best friend's dad, age gap, forbidden romance, accidental pregnancy, daddy kink, praise kink, possessive!jk, smut (mdi)
what starts as an innocent crush on your best friend's father quickly spirals into a secret relationship built on desire, validation, and blurred boundariesāuntil one unexpected pregnancy changes everything.
before you | tattoo artist!jk, friends to lovers, accidental pregnancy, fake parenthood, found family, protective!jk, angst, fluff, smut, happy ending (mdi)
jungkook has taken a huge place in your life after he tattooed you, and you canāt even picture how life was before him. he has always been there for you since day one. but how will things change after you find out youāre pregnant? Ā
a hero's journey | editor!reader, best friend's boyfriend au, missed timing, lost confession, friends to lovers, pining, workplace au, angst with happy ending, smut (mdi)
jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story.
when worlds collide | series | college au, ballet!reader, fuckboy!jk, tutoring au, strangers to lovers, opposites attract, angst, slice of life, smut (mdi) | not complete
since your mother's passing, life has been a whirlwind. balancing ballet and college while keeping a low profile was your normāuntil jungkook stepped into your world. despite his reputation and popularity on campus, he keeps insisting on your help, pulling you into the spotlight you've always tried to avoid.
home | drabble | idol!jk, military au, established relationship, bam, reunion, domestic fluff, long distance, military enlistment, light angst
since jungkook's enlistment, you've grown used to missing him in the little momentsāespecially when bam waits by the door for someone who isn't supposed to come home yet. but one ordinary evening turns into the perfect surprise when the person you've been longing for suddenly appears on the other side of the door.
first position | college au, established relationship, best friend x reader x jk, threesome, friends helping friends, comedy, smut (mdi), alcohol, marijuana use | one of the filthiest smuts ever
your best friend's ex might have broken her heart, but the fact that he never managed to make her orgasm is somehow even worse. determined to show her what she's been missing, you and jungkook decide to take matters into your own hands.
burning hour | idol!jk, established relationship, yacht date, summer vibes, playful banter, fluff, smut (mdi) | rich boyfriend jk living his best yacht owner life
there's nothing better than spending a relaxing day on your boyfriend's yacht, soaking up the sun and waiting for the sunset. unfortunately for you, jungkook has other plansāand they involve making sure you pay attention to him instead.
thinking about idol!jeongin falling in love at first sight meeting fan!reader. . .
first time he saw you wasn't when it was your turn to sit in front of him. the airtime before the fan sign had started, everyone was already seated, the staff just double checking if everything was good to go.
jeongin's eyes wandered through the crowd in front of the him, not looking for anyone in particular, merely just looking at their groups' fans to have something to do.
he was simply just browsing through the blur of faces, a few signs here and there, until he saw you.
jeongin didn't know what was different. only that he could feel some kind of aura around you that the other fans couldn't see or sense near you, a luminous ambience that only he could see.
you weren't looking at him. you seemed busy in your own world, trying to breath in properly 'cause you were nervous. he smiled when you turned and saw him staring back at you.
your face loaded for a second, before smiling back, waving calmly. he waved back. your grin was a little bit wider when he did it.
the fan sign continued, none of the fans hereānot even his hyungsāthat their maknae had a secret agenda now when he saw you, which was to get connected with you.
no matter how risky it was.
when you were finally sat on the table, he was itching to meet you.
he had been reviewing all the ways he could possibly flirt. that wouldn't be too obvious, right? it would just be him doing his duty as an idol to entertain their fans with fanservice.
except when it came to you, the fanservice was teetering a little bit to crossing over to real flirting.
"h-hi, jeongin." you bowed before sitting down.
"hi, there." his gaze followed your every move, smirking. "what's your name?"
you told him your name as you hand out your album to sign, jeongin making sure to graze your fingers a little, the sight of you visually short-circuiting when it happened forever ingrained in his memory for when he wants to smile.
"you have a really pretty face," he signed your album with practiced ease, opening the photobook to sign his photo in there as well, "pretty name too. you're lucky."
"i- hah. . .!" you chuckled awkwardly, flattered as you blinked and thanked him.
"what made you like our group, hm?" he asked, leaning in elbows on the table as he splayed his hands out for you. you stared at them a little confused, before you answer his question.
"i really liked your guys' music. it's pretty alternative to modern pop, soā oh."
feeling a sense of boldness run through him (and slight impatience that you didn't get the hint), he took both your hands in his. jeongin hummed, like this was normal.
jeongin had a sneaking suspicion that his hyung, seungmin, next to him was quite taken aback at his sudden love for skin ship, but he didn't pay him no mind.
not for the remainder of the fan sign, at least.
you held eye contact with him, but only for short periods of time. his smile and sharp gaze making it almost impossible for you to focus when it just made your brain all mushy.
he hummed at your unfinished reply, before asking another question. "you must have a bias then, right?"
"ah, yeah i do!" you say happily, unaware that you were waving your intertwined hands from the positive question.
"is it me?" his fingers squeezed yours a little, anticipating a 'yes'.
"ah, no. . ." you say sheepishly, jeongin letting out a dramatic sigh.
"it's actually bangchan, haha," you say, "sorry, innie-ah."
"too bad. . ." he pouted.
"it's 'cause i have a thing for older guys, yknow?" you try joking, but then he answers you with something you didn't know how to reply to.
"so you wouldn't date a younger guy?"
jeongin's thumbs started to caress the sides of your hands, the action turning your head all fuzzy. if you were calm enough (which you weren't until the end of the fan sign), you would have noticed his sly smirk, obviously flirting with you now.
"iā ha. . . i didn't say that," you smile, tilting your head down as he tries to catch you sight.
"would you not mind long distance relationships too?"
"uhm," you tilt your head up, meeting his gaze for a little while, more confused than shy, "n-not really, why?"
'you look really pretty flustered like this, y'know?', is jeongin really wants to say, but with seungmin (who you were talking to before him) starting to look really suspicious, he settles for:
"that's good, then we'd be perfect together."
the timer goes off, and with jeongin being the last member on the end of the table, you're forced to bow your goodbye and walk off, with jeongin's eyes following you until he's forced to interact with the fan in front of him, his smugness from the interaction still lingering.
you, who just exited the venue, had let out a sigh of relief? exhilaration? you aren't sure, but you know damn well your hearts beating really fast.
the hours pass after that, and once you make it home, you wind down and get ready for bed, the signed album and photobook still splayed out on your duvet.
you smile at the event, remembering all of the happenings with the other members, before recalling the last one. your fingers trace jeongin's signature.
looking at the photobook, you open it up and flip through it, looking at the messages that the members left you, you grin at each one, some telling you to eat while the others saying they'd love to see you again.
then, you see jeongins message for you, and your grin drops.
' you don't mind younger guys if it was me, right? call me soon, okay? ~ XXXX - XXX - XXX
ā y.j ā¤ļø '
it was messily written, giving you the impression that he did it quickly, so that no one could see in the photobook that fast. you scoffed in disbelief.
your heart jumped a few beats faster. there it was again. that feeling in your stomach. the odd pull.
you caress your thumb on the ink of the page, lost in thought.
the big question is; will you message, or will you ghost?
ugh skz not having mnl in their tour destinations is making my heart break šš„anyways have some delusional jeongin imagine because i dont see enough about him being written ;D
in which jungkook fucks his girlfriend raw in the middle of a performance because he's addicted to that pussy.
āŖ PAIRING ā« : idol bf!jungkook x gf!f.reader
āŖ GENRE ā« : established relationship au, porn with no plot, smut and fluff
āŖ WARNINGS ā« : 18+, explicit smut, semi public sex, quickie, rough sex, doggy style, unprotected sex, penetrative vaginal sex against the wall, praise kink, dirty talk and degradation, he calls her a slut, size difference, spanking, manhandling, lots of clit play, makeout, scratching, mentions of pain, creampie, slight overstimulation and orgasm control, he gives it to her hard, a little breeding kink, cum play, use of panties as a plug to keep the load in
āŖ WC ā« : 2.2k
āŖ NOTE ā« : couldn't help myself so i wrote a quick smut drabble cos i've been feral since watching jungkook perform in that jacket, i felt like you naughty girls deserved to join in on the fun so enjoy reading and wet dreams ! <33
ć MASTERLIST | READ ON WATTPAD ć
āwait for me baby, don't go anywhere.ā
that was what your boyfriend jungkook had rasped two hours ago after kissing you breathless enough to leave your legs shaky and then he ran back onstage.
you stood just off the main stage, your heart pounding in your chest, feeling the sexual desire wafting between you both even though he was away giving all his energy and power to singing and dancing with his members.
but you only got the version of him no one else got or knew about, the one who glanced toward you between songs, eyes locking on yours with a hunger that had nothing to do with the performance.
it was as if he were giving his own personal sultry show to you instead of thousands of fans screaming his name.
you watched a droplet of sweat trace a line down the middle of his chest almost pornographically, like it begged for your tongue to lick it right off and you wanted to so badly.
now during the short break after one of their songs, jungkook jogged offstage for a quick towel and water, his denim jacket with nothing underneath parted to show off his sweat slick muscular body, his jeans low enough to show off the tiny hint of his calvin klein underwear.
he tossed the towel aside and made a beeline straight for you, ignoring the staff calling after him.
āfuck i've been thinking about you the whole time.ā
his voice was husky from singing, a little breathless as well, he grabbed your wrist impatiently before you could even reply and pulled you deeper into the backstage down the corridor for more privacy.
āi can't focus when i know you're right there watching me.ā
ājungkook the performance and the fansāā
you started but your protest melted into a gasp as he pushed you against the wall directly out of sight.
āthey can handle the next song. i need you now.ā he grumbles.
his eyes were dark, pupils blown wide with lust and with pent up energy that he wants to take out on you.
he spun you around without waiting, pressing your chest against the wall, his front molding to your back as you felt the hard line of his erection already straining against his jeans.
āit's been hard since i saw this tight little ass in those jeans.ā
ākook...ā
you whimpered at his words, your back already arching for him, your eyes growing half lidded.
āgod i love it when you call me that.ā he rushes out.
his hands moved fast before you could even catch a breath, yanking your jeans and your panties down your thigh in one rough tug.
you could hear the cheers of the crowd and the beat of the music still playing, everything made you both feel alive and the thrill that you both might get caught at any second, yet instead of stopping you it made you hornier, your pussy giving a twitch.
āshitt you're already wet.ā
jungkook groaned low, one hand sliding between your legs to tease your folds, feeling the copious amounts of arousal you leaked.
his fingers were so skilled, always knowing how to find your clit like an expert and it makes you shudder each time as he circles your clit once twice before dipping inside just enough to make your knees buckle but not fully inside, just giving you a little taste of what's about to come.
āall this for me hmm? while i was out there dancing?ā
you bit your lip hard, nodding frantically.
āyes kook p-please...ā you panted.
he chuckled as he grabbed your hips, leaning down to nip at your earlobe.
āatta girl, keep quiet for me yeah? can't have them hearing how i fuck my baby backstage.ā
he pulled the zipper down, freeing himself, his cock hard and throbbing hotly, precum already beading at the tip.
he rubbed it along your slit coating himself in your essence, letting out a string of curses at the warm feeling of you.
there was no time for foreplay and time was running by fast and he had to join everyone on the stage so he didn't wanna waste any time.
jungkook was big, always had been and each time he decided to impale you on his cock, it felt like the very first time even though the stretch had gotten familiar.
āahh... yesā¦ā
you let out a long relieved whine at the feeling of him coming home inside you as he pushed in slowly inch by inch, intentionally letting you feel every ridge and vein of his dick and how he twitches inside you.
āfuuuuck...ā
he hissed through gritted teeth, forehead dropping to your shoulder as he felt your pussy clench on him, welcoming him inside with a wet hungry swallow like it'd been dying for him to be inside.
his one hand gripped your hip hard enough to bruise, the other hand on the wall above your head.
āso tight, always so fucking perfect for me.ā
he growls and grunts like a madman and you respond with a moan of yours.
he bottomed out with a deep,manly noise and he watched with hooded eyes at the way your ass quivers.
the fullness was overwhelming, his cock buried deep and pressing against that spot inside you that made you see stars behind your eyelids.
for a second he just stayed there, breathing hard, both of you listening to the crowd outside, then he started moving and you were already a squirmy mess.
backshots or whatever they called it.
receiving that from him always turns your brain to mush and it felt like he was literally rearranging your insides.
hard, quick, yet rough thrusts that only happened when he was trying to make you cum fast and with each thrust from him, you rocked harder against the wall, your hand scrambling to grab onto something and not being able to help yourself, you gripped his hand tightly, your nails digging into it and the pain fueled him even more.
the angle was perfect and with every thrust he reached that special spot inside you.
his hips moved like a needle does on a sewing machine, your tongue lolls out lewdly, almost drooling in the mindless pleasure.
squelch. squelch. squelch.
obscene noises were made each time he pumped in and out and in and out, his heavy balls slapping against your clit, sending jolts through you.
each thrust made your breasts bounce under your top, nubs hard and aching against the fabric.
ālisten to that!ā he snarls.
āhear how wet you are? taking my cock so willingly while everyone out there thinks i'm just taking a break.ā
you sobbed, trying to muffle it against your arm though it didn't do much help anyways.
ākookā¦ faster p-please, i needāā
he didn't let you finish your words because he obliged instantly, picking up the pace, his hips slamming inside you.
the same control he used on stage now driving you into insanity.
sweat dripped from his hair and onto your back, his free hand snaked around you to rub your clit in a tight fast rubs, matching the brutal rhythm of his cock.
your lips remained perpetually parted, letting out little āuh uh uhsā with each of his thrusts, not having any control to hold yourself up, your body was held like a ragdoll with one of his arms alone.
āyeah uh huh? you like this?ā
he asks, mockingly imitating one of your noises with a breathless chuckle.
āoh god..ā
you mewled, not even processing his words enough to reply to him.
āanswer me when i ask a question. tell me, do you like getting pounded like a secret slut while i'm supposed to be performing?ā
he lets out an animalistic sound, his palm coming down to give a sharp spank on your butt cheek, most definitely leaving a red handprint there.
ānhnnmm ahh y-yes so good. i want more. i want more pleaseee.ā
you choked out letting out quiet squeals, unable to keep up with his fucking while he poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, his head falling back, adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.
āof course you want more, this pussy never gets enough does it huh? so greedy.ā
he gives you a few more hard thrusts, his hips circling occasionally doing that grinding rhythm that makes your toes curl while you start fluttering hard around him as if trying to just trap him inside you forever.
ādammit you feel so good, g-gonna cum so hard inside you baby.ā
he stutters, his brows furrowing.
the pressure was starting to build fast so fast, from the way he dominated you, from his words, the rush of adrenaline and everything else... it was too much yet so amazing at the same time.
you wanted more, more and more.
your head thrashed side to side as you felt like he'd just hit deep inside your stomach, your hand scratching red lines on his tattooed wrist.
āyesāyesāyesāā
you yelped, trembling uncontrollably as you felt so near to your orgasm.
āthat's it cum on my cock, let me feel you.ā
he starts pounding you, angling your hips, manhandling you so he's able to reach the depths inside you that you didn't even know existed.
his hand quickening on your clit, doing that side to side and up and down motions on your clit, he knows it drives you a little insane.
he knows that you love it when he plays around with that little sensitive button of yours.
when he decides to pinch it between two fingers and holding on while delivering sharp thrusts, did it finally break you.
you came with a loud scream that ended in a wail.
āhahhh!ā
your pussy pulses around his pistoning length, milking him, making his pace falter at the heavenly feeling of you cumming around him.
but he soon picked back up, fucking you through it and chasing his own release while making your juices splash everywhere making a mess on the floor beneath you.
his breaths turned ragged, thrusts losing their rhythm as he got closer and closer.
thrust. thrust. thrust.
āgonna fill this cunt up baby ughh!ā
he hisses, slapping his palm beside your head as he buried himself to the hilt and came.
āmmmph..ā
you let out a pathetic muffled noise as hot spurts of his cum filled you to the brim, leaving so much of the white mess as he ground his hips slowly, murmuring expletives while pressing open mouthed kisses along your shoulder.
for a long moment you both just panted, bodies locked together, both of you throbbing in the same way with heartbeats racing together.
he didn't wanna leave you so soon or lose the feel of this sweet cunt wrapped around him that he was addicted to but time was almost up, he could hear the members getting ready and the staff calling for his name.
with a reluctant groan, he pulled out slowly with a grunt and an āohhā leaves you from the empty incomplete feeling.
your pussy gaping right in front of his eyes, leaking his cum as if saying without words how much she misses him already, he had to force his eyes away or else he'd probably just cancel everything and throw you over his shoulder and take you back to the hotel.
he pulled you close pushing your panties and jeans up, smoothing over them while you squirmed at the sodden feeling but the way he held you tighter confirmed that this was exactly what he wanted.
āyou okay?ā
he asked, eyes searching yours with concern and cups your cheek.
you nodded, a wanton moan leaving you as he kissed you deeply, tongue tangling with yours, tasting your cherry chapstick and your natural taste that he knows by heart.
āi love you so much, i will be finishing the show as soon as possible and then i will take you back to the hotel to finish this properly, you get me yeah?ā
he patted your clothed butt and you giggled even as your legs still trembled a bit as he leaned down to steal another kiss.
āi love you too, go kill the rest of the performance pretty boy.ā you cooed.
he grinned at the praise, cheeks flushing, that bunny toothed smile breaking through the post sex haze which you adored so much.
he adjusted his earpiece and took a few steps forward but he paused and turned to look back at you.
ākeep those panties on, i want my cum leaking out of you when i come back to you.ā
he winks, wiping sweat from his brows and rushing back toward the stage as if nothing had happened and he hadn't just said the filthiest thing ever.
you leaned against the wall with a giddy laugh, catching your breath, feeling his cum slowly start to sweep into your panties.
you watched him rejoin his members and dance like he hadn't just ruined you backstage.
your beautiful man is glowing even more now.
but one thing he didn't forget to do every now and then was look back at you with that secret smirk.
the world wanted him, yet you had him all to yourself and you never felt more lucky.
he was yours and you were his, it was a forever kinda thing.
you watched his tongue trace his bottom lip while singing and watching you with bedroom eyes.
ā³ summary: ten years of platonic safety, completely incinerated over cold kitchen marble. a frantic morning-after argument about a drunken confession turns into a dangerous game of chicken. you think you're being the smart one, desperately trying to protect a decade-long friendship from total wreckageāuntil a single, devastating kiss proves that neither of you can afford to stay just friends anymore.
ā³ friends to lovers!au;
ā³ pairing: idol!jeongguk x f!reader
ā³ warnings: shameless smut, heavy praise and unprotected oral. features a completely undone, whiny, and pathetically submissive jeongguk who is brought entirely to his knees, begging for a taste before fucking you through his own overstimulation. brace yourselves........ :)
ā³ word count: 13.1 k
a/n: this is actually my first ever request. here is the the original ask! the person who requested didn't reply anymore, so i took it upon myself to just run with itāyay for creative freedom and what not. hopefully i delivered question mark?
iām a bit anxious about this ngl since it is a bit out of my comfort area so please lmk your thoughts :')
we absolutely love subkoo propaganda in this house. though i must admit, i could've made him even more sub, but baby steps am i right?
ā
ONE SHOT
STARRING JEONGGUK
Youāre very good at making bad decisions.
You and Jeongguk have been friends for a very long time. Platonic friends, of course. The kind of bond forged in the messy, unfiltered trenches of youth long before the rest of the world decided he belonged to them.
You remember every single time heās been there for you, steady as an anchor. He was the one who sat on the kitchen counter at three in the morning, quietly listening to you cry over a brutal breakup, holding the pint of melting ice cream while you ranted. He was the one who dragged his exhausted body out of bed in the dead of winter just to jump-start your dead car battery, completely uncomplaining as his hands turned bright red in the freezing air. When you failed that massive university exam, he didn't offer empty platitudes; he just showed up at your door with a bag of cheap convenience store snacks and your favorite video game, sitting in silence with you until the heavy cloud in your chest lifted.
And youāve been there for him just as fiercely. You were the one who held his hair back in a cramped, dimly lit bathroom after he drank way too much at a party, rubbing his back while he muttered pathetic apologies. You were the one who helped him pack up his entire life into mismatched cardboard boxes when he finally left his small hometown, taping the edges shut while he nervously paced the room. You even let him experiment on you with a box of cheap, questionable hair dye on a random Tuesday, resulting in a green-stained forehead and a frantic midnight run to a 24-hour pharmacy, laughing so hard your stomachs ached in the fluorescent aisles.
However, you didn't take into account that he would get famous at some point. Obviously, he had all the cards to do so, you weren't blind.
Heās attractive. Heās sweet. He has a good heart that bleeds through everything he touches.
And then there are the physical realities you've forced yourself to ignore for years. He has impeccable, impeccable handsāveiny, strong, and large enough to completely swallow yours. He has a fiercely toned body, hardened by years of relentless dance practice and gym sessions, a sharp contrast to the gentle soul inside him. And, of course, those sweet, round eyes you melt for every single time he looks up at you, completely disarming whatever defenses you try to build.
So when he texted you saying he was back home for a little while before heading out on the massive world tour again, of course you said yes.
Why would you not? He was your best friend.
Except you completely forgot that during his brief stints of downtime, Jeongguk had a tendency to pick up hyper-fixated new hobbies. Which is exactly how you found yourself standing in the doorway of his private garage, completely frozen.
He was entirely underneath the chassis of a sleek, vintage car, legs sprawling out across the concrete floor. He was straining against a stubborn bolt, and the physical effort caused his dark t-shirt to ride up drastically, exposing a wide strip of his lower abdomen.
Your eyes trapped themselves right there, staring directly at his happy trail. It was a sharp, dark line of hair cutting perfectly across his toned stomach, disappearing straight into the low waistband of his grey sweatpants.
Avert your gaze? Maybe you should. You absolutely had to.
Instead, a stray, dangerous thought crossed your mind, wondering exactly where that trail led and if it really was a happy place. You would certainly guess so, taking into account the sheer volume of women who willingly flung themselves at him daily on global television.
Jeongguk, meanwhile, was acutely aware of the shift in the room's atmosphere the second you walked in. From his vantage point beneath the metal frame, he heard your footsteps halt. He could feel the phantom heat of your eyes burning into his exposed skin. His heart did a violent flip in his chest, his fingers tightening around his wrench. He purposely stayed still for a beat longer than necessary, his breath hitching, secretly thrilled by the weight of your undivided attention.
To break the suffocating silence, you finally spoke, semi-yelling over the clinking of his tools, "Yo! Koo, what the fuck are you doing?"
Hearing your voice, Jeongguk finally kicked against the floor, sliding himself out from under the car on his mechanic's creeper.
When he fully emerged, the sight of him made your throat go completely dry. He had grease smudged across his jaw, a dirty shirt clinging to his frame, and a sweaty forehead. A few moist, dark hair strands were sticking directly to his skin, and the tiny silver hoop of his lip piercing glinted sharply in the garage lighting.
You gulped. Hard. Maybe it was just because you hadn't seen him in a while, or maybe it was because the platonic shield you usually wore was rapidly cracking to pieces.
Jeongguk blinked up at you, tracking the slight bob of your throat as you swallowed. A quiet wave of satisfaction washed over him, melting his internal nerves into something warm and soft. He let his head fall back slightly, looking up at you through his lashes with the sweetest, most innocent smile he could muster.
"Hi," he replied softly, his voice a low, raspy rumble that did absolutely nothing to help your racing pulse.
He laughed, a bright, breathless sound, and stepped toward you with his arms wide open. It was clear he wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around you after being separated by a massive ocean for months, but you immediately took a sharp step back, hands raised in a defensive barrier.
"Don't even think about it," you warned, eyeing the black grease smudged across his arms. "I am not getting engine oil all over my clothes."
Jeongguk paused, his arms still half-extended, his lips pouting into a familiar, dramatic frown. "So?" he asked, tilting his head with an entitled little whine. "It's just a shirt. I haven't seen you in forever."
Before you could reiterate that you actually liked your outfit, he reached down, gripped the hem of his dark t-shirt, and pulled it over his head in one fluid, practiced motion. Your breath caught awkwardly in your throat. Now, the toned lines of his chest and abdomen were fully on display, glistening with a light sheen of sweat under the garage lights. He didn't even seem to notice your sudden internal panic as he casually crumpled the expensive fabric into a ball, using it as a makeshift rag to roughly wipe the grease off his hands.
Tossing the ruined shirt onto a nearby tool stool, he stepped right back into your space. "Better?" he murmured, a cheeky, triumphant grin spreading across his face before he locked his bare, warm arms securely around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
You let out a defeated sigh, but you didn't pull away. You hugged him back, burying your face against the warm crook of his shoulder, the familiar, comforting scent of him cutting right through the sharp smell of gasoline and metal.
If you were being 100% honest with yourself, you did have a crush on him. You had been harboring a crush on him for a very long time.
You just never vocalized it. To you, it was always safer to remain a constant, unshakeable variable in his chaotic life rather than risk ruining something so irreplaceable. All of his past relationships had eventually crashed and burned, a pattern that only grew worse once global fame started violently colliding with his love life and relentless schedules. You had absolutely no intention of losing Jeongguk to a stupid, juvenile crush youād developed nearly ten years agoāall because heād sweetly given you his last cherry popsicle on a scorching summer afternoon.
Jeongguk squeezed you a little tighter before finally releasing you, though his hands lingered on your arms for a beat too long. "I want to throw a party tonight," he announced, his round eyes shining with genuine excitement as he swiped a damp strand of hair from his forehead. "Just like old times. I want to actually have fun without a million eyes on me."
You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "Oh? Tell me about it. Who are we inviting?"
"Only old friends," he said instantly, his tone turning protective. "Nobody new. Nobody with a hidden motive or a vendetta. Just the people who knew me before... all of this."
You smirked, a teasing glint in your eyes as you nudged his bare shoulder. "What, so you didn't bring any international flings home with you in first class?"
Jeongguk let out a self-deprecating laugh, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his messy hair. "No way. I'm going girl-sober for a while. Women completely fuck up my senses."
He wasn't lying, and you knew it. Jeongguk was a hopeless, unapologetic serial romantic. He was a boy who loved with his entire soul, completely incapable of doing anything casual even if his life depended on it. It was his ultimate Achilles' heel. He wore his heart so openly on his sleeve, entirely defenseless, and people always seemed to have other, more transactional plans for it.
"Girl-sober, huh?" you echoed, trying to ignore the sudden, dangerous flutter in your stomach at his words. "Let's see how long that actually lasts."
"Oh, it will last," Jeongguk said, his tone dropping into a quieter, more deliberate register as he looked down at you. "You'll make sure of it."
You blinked, momentarily losing your train of thought as your eyes tracked a stray bead of sweat rolling down his collarbone. "Pardon?"
"Youāre the only one I can trust with my heart right now," he explained smoothly, a completely earnest, unguarded look washing over his features. He stepped a fraction closer, the heat radiating off his bare chest practically enveloping you. "So, yes. You. Making sure no one is hurting your super hot friend."
Your knees almost buckled right there on the oil-stained concrete.
Super hot?
Did he just casually drop that into conversation like he hadn't spent the last ten years being your dorky, platonic sidekick? Before you could even formulate a coherent response, Jeongguk caught the sudden shock on your face. A playful, slightly teasing glint sparked in his dark eyes, his lips tilting up at the corners.
"Am I not?" he challenged softly, tilting his head as if genuinely waiting for your assessment.
You swallowed hard, your mind scrambling to put the platonic walls back up before he noticed how fast your heart was beating. "I plead the fifth."
Jeongguk let out a breathy, dramatic groan, throwing his head back before looking down at you through his lashes. "God, Y/N, youāre so dramatic. I can openly say youāre hot."
Your brain completely short-circuited. "Sorry?"
"What?" He shrugged his shoulders, completely unfazed by the bomb heād just dropped in the middle of his garage. "Itās not like itās federal information. Youāre attractive, Iām attractive. You should be able to speak open truths."
You gulped again, the sound loud in your own ears as you looked anywhere but at the hard lines of his chest. "Fine," you grumbled, forcing the words past your lips like a confession under interrogation. "Youāre hot. Happy?"
Jeonggukās playful smirk instantly vanished, replaced by a dramatic, exaggerated pout. He whined, the sound high and petulant, as he crossed his arms over his chest. "No, see? Now I don't even want it anymore if you don't actually believe it."
You let out a sharp scoff, throwing your hands up in disbelief. "Where the hell isĀ that coming from?"
"I'm serious," he insisted, his voice dropping into a quieter, more vulnerable register. He stepped a fraction closer, his shoes almost touching the tips of yours. He looked down at you, completely stripped of his usual idol persona. "I don't want you to say things just because I want to hear them. I have enough people in my life for that,Y/N. Millions of them. I don't need it from you."
The sudden, raw honesty of his words hit you like a physical weight. You looked up, meeting his gaze, and swear his eyes just got ten times more sparkly and round, shimmering with a sudden, intense vulnerability.
He was practically vibrating with the unspoken urge to be perceived, truly perceived, by the only person whose opinion actually mattered to him.
The platonic armor youād spent so long building suddenly felt paper-thin. You let out a soft sigh, reaching out to gently tap his bare chest, right over his racing heart.
"Jeongguk," you said, your voice softening, holding his gaze so he knew you meant it. "You're hot. I'm not just saying it."
The second the words left your mouth, the heavy tension broke. A massive, radiant grin split across his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners into those familiar, endearing crescent shapes.
"ThankĀ you," he sang out in a sweet, sing-song voice, practically beaming as he swayed his shoulders from side to side like a praised toddler. The transition from a brooding, shirtless man to a needy, praise-hungry boy was so fast it made your head spin, leaving you entirely at the mercy of whatever games he was playing with your heart.
You spent the whole afternoon prepping for the said party. You were beyond glad for his shiny black card, which you used with zero remorse. It could buy the good alcoholāthe top-shelf stuff his agency normally rationed him onāalong with an obscene mountain of incredible snacks that you knew you would half-demolish before the guests even knocked on the door. You had bags of high-end chips, imported chocolates, and savory finger foods piled high on his marble kitchen counters, casually stealing a handful of pretzels every time you walked by.
His apartment was massive, but it was also quite dark. He had a penchant for heavy, blackout curtains and moody industrial architecture, and you laughed a ton when you tried to string up some extra LED lights around the living room and hallways. You muttered to yourself while balancing on a stool, desperately trying to ensure people wouldn't step on each other's toes in the pitch-black tomb of his very boy-coded apartment.
It was a chaotic mix of state-of-the-art gaming rigs, massive speakers, random workout equipment in the corner, and a giant plush couch that screamed bachelor pad.
His bedroom, however, was strictly off-limits. Locked and closed for the public.
As you passed the heavy wood door on your way to the bathroom, you paused. You hadn't been inside his room in a long way, and your mind naturally began to wander, curiosity pricking at your chest. You started to wonder how it had changed from the last time you were there, back when it was just a messy pile of clothes and a mattress on the floor. Now, as even a more famous star than he was at the start, did he have silk sheets? A massive canopy bed?
More dangerously, you started to wonder what women had seen those sheets. Which faces had looked up at him in the dark?
At last, you forcefully pushed the burning thought aside, shaking your head to clear the sudden spike of jealousy. It didn't matter. You had a job to do, and besides, the guests were finally starting to arrive.
The heavy front door clicked open, and the quiet tomb of his apartment was instantly flooded with chatter and laughter as his oldest childhood friends spilled into the entryway. Jeongguk was already standing by the kitchen island, the grease long washed from his skin, replaced by a soft, oversized black sweater and a fresh scent. Heād clearly been anticipating the social buffering, because by the time the first three people crossed the threshold, Jeongguk had already thrown back two heavy shots of tequila.
His round eyes were already bright and crinkling with a loose, alcohol-fueled warmth.
Throwing his hands into the air, his silver lip piercing catching the glow of the newly strung lights, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "Welcome, party people!"
The room erupted into cheers, his friends rushing forward to swarm him, throwing arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him into a chaotic huddle of loud greetings and deep belly laughs. From across the room, you leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him instantly dissolve back into the boy he used to be, completely shielded from the crushing weight of his global fame by the people who loved him first.
The party shifted into high gear with the easy, unpretentious noise of people who had nothing to prove to each other. In the hazy glow of the blue and purple lights, the living room felt less like a celebrityās multi-million dollar fortress and more like a time capsule.
"Iām just saying," Jin-woo, one of Jeonggukās oldest friends from his hometown, gestured wildly with a half-eaten chip, "If a zombie apocalypse happens right now, Koo is the first to die. Heās too polite. Heād try to bow to a zombie before kicking it."
"No way!" Jeongguk protested, his voice a little too loud, a little too slurred as he leaned heavily against the back of the plush couch. He poured himself another shot of tequila, his hand shaking just enough that a few drops splashed onto his knuckles. "I have muscle memory now. Iād do a 360-kick. Boom. Dead zombie."
"You'd cry if you got blood on your designer shoes," you chimed in from the kitchen island, swirling the ice cubes in your cup.
Jeonggukās head snapped toward you instantly. His sweet, round eyes were heavily hooded, a dark, glossy sheen over them as he tracked your movement. A soft, lazy smile spread across his face, his silver lip piercing catching the strobe of the lights. "Y/N... youāre supposed to be on my side. Always."
"I am on your side. I'm just realistic," you laughed, taking a slow sip.
You were barely on your second glass of vodka cranberry, the tart liquid still mostly full as you paced yourself. You had to. Someone needed to keep an eye on the house, and more importantly, someone needed to keep an eye onĀ him.
Jeongguk, on the other hand, was throwing them back like water. The pressure of the upcoming tour, the suffocating nature of his daily lifeāit was all bleeding out of him in the form of liquid courage. He was drinking to forget the idol.
An hour later, the loud, stupid arguments dissolved into the inevitable late-night deep talk. Three of his friends were sprawled on the floor, debating the existence of aliens, while Jin-woo had moved onto the balcony for a smoke.
Jeongguk somehow navigated his way over to you, his shoulders bumping into yours as he leaned heavily against the kitchen counter. He smelled like expensive cologne and sharp alcohol.
"You're barely drinking," he murmured, his voice dropping into that low, raspy rumble that always made your stomach do backflips. He reached out, his large hand wrapping around your wrist, his thumb casually brushing against your pulse point. His touch was warm, heavy, and intentionally lingering.
"Someone has to make sure you don't break your own furniture," you teased gently, though your heart was suddenly hammering against your ribs. "How many shots is that now? Five? Six?"
"Doesn't matter," he whispered, stepping a fraction closer, completely ignoring the chatter of his friends just twenty feet away. He looked down at you, his large eyes shimmering under the dim kitchen lights. "Everything feels... too loud out there, Y/N. But when I look at you, it stops."
Your breath hitched.
"Jeongguk, you're drunk," you whispered back, trying to maintain the boundary, trying not to let your ten-year-old crush completely take over.
"I am," he admitted softly, his grip on your wrist tightening just a fraction as he leaned his forehead down, almost touching your shoulder. It was that physical surrender againāputting himself entirely in your space, begging you without words to hold him together. "But I'm only brave when the sun goes down. You know that. Stay 'til sunrise. Please."
"Fine," you sighed, trying to ignore the frantic pounding in your chest as you gently patted his broad, sweater-clad shoulder. "But youāre taking the couch tonight, Koo. Iām not carrying you anywhere."
A soft, breathy laugh left his throat, and before you could even brace yourself, Jeongguk leaned in. He pressed his lips firmly against your temple, a lingering, warm pressure that smelled faintly of tequila and mint. "Thank you," he murmured against your skin, a string of another quiet, drunkenĀ thank yous spilling out of his mouth as he finally pulled back.
You stood there, entirely frozen, your brain struggling to process how to function normally. Those sweet, tactile gestures of his had remained exactly the same over the last decade. It was just a temple kiss. It was the kind of thing heād done a hundred times when you were younger, yet now, with his shoulders framing you and his deep voice vibrating in his chest, it rattled you down to your very core.
Before you could spiral any further into your own head, Hanaāone of Jin-wooās louder cousins who had tagged alongāyelled from the living room floor, clapping her hands together to get everyone's attention.
"Hey! Enough with the alien talk," Hana shouted, swirling the ice in her cup. "We should play something actually fun. Like truth or dare... or better yet, truth or drink!"
The room instantly erupted into murmurs of agreement, but nobody moved faster than Jeongguk. His face lit up, his round eyes wide and sparkling under the blue LED's as he practically jumped at the opportunity to drink more.
"Truth or drink," Jeongguk cheered, his voice loose and excited as he pushed off the kitchen counter. He grabbed the half-empty bottle of top-shelf tequila by the neck, giving you a quick, triumphant look over his shoulder. "Yes. Let's do it. I'm choosing drink every single damn time, I don't care."
He stumbled slightly as he made his way to the center of the room, dropping heavily onto the plush rug right in the middle of the circle, looking up at everyone like a kid waiting for a game to start. He was already so completely undone, and as you walked over to join the circle with your barely touched vodka cranberry, a sudden, heavy wave of anticipation settled deep in your stomach.
You knew exactly how Jeongguk played games when he was like this. He was honest to a fault, but tonight, with the alcohol running warm through his veins he might start being too honest.
The bottle of tequila sat right in the center of the hardwood floor, spinning rapidly under the flashing lights until it slowed down, its neck pointing directly at Jin-woo.
"Alright, alright," Jin-woo grinned, leaning forward on his knees. He looked across the circle at Jeongguk, who was sitting cross-legged, a little loopy, swaying slightly to the music. "Koo. First round. Truth or drink. What is the absolute worst thing about being a global superstar? Give us the real dirt."
You expected Jeongguk to reach for his cup immediately. His agency spent millions of dollars training him to handle questions like this with perfectly polished, diplomatic answers. Instead, Jeongguk just let out a soft, hazy laugh, his eyes dropping to his hands.
"The loneliness," he said, the sheer honesty of his voice cutting right through the lighthearted party atmosphere. The circle went quiet. Jeongguk looked up, his round eyes wide and entirely undisguised by his usual idol armor. "You think you're surrounded by the world, but when the stage lights go off, you're just sitting alone in a sterile hotel room in a country where you don't speak the language, wondering if anyone actually missesĀ you, or if they just miss the guy on the posters. It's suffocating."
A collective, sympathetic hum went around the room. Jin-woo blinked, clearly not expecting him to drop something so heavy in the first five minutes. You felt a familiar twist of pain in your chest, your eyes softening as you looked at him. Jeongguk didn't take a sip, he just gave a tiny, vulnerable shrug, completely comfortable laying his soul bare in front of the people who knew him before the fame.
Hana spun the bottle next. It whirled around before grinding to a halt, pointing straight back at Jeongguk.
"Oh, my turn," Hana perked up, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Okay, Jeongguk. You said earlier today that you're 'girl-sober' right now. So tell the truth: when was the last time you actually kissed someone, and did it mean anything?"
You held your breath, your fingers tightening around your glass of vodka cranberry.
Jeongguk tilted his head back against the edge of the couch behind him, a slow, lazy smile spreading across his face. He didn't even reach for the tequila bottle. "Two years ago," he stated bluntly, his voice a low, raspy rumble. "A girl I met during a break between promotions. And no, it didn't mean anything. That was the problem. I tried to make it mean something because I hate casual stuff, but she just wanted to tell her friends she was dating an idol. It felt transactional. I hated it."
"Damn," Hana muttered, taking a drink of her own beer out of pure secondhand awkwardness. "You're really not holding back tonight, are you?"
"I told you," Jeongguk murmured, his dark, glossy eyes suddenly shifting across the circle until they locked directly onto yours. "I don't want to say fake things tonight. I'm tired of it."
Before the heavy silence following Jeonggukās sudden drink can completely suffocate the room, Jin-woo quickly reaches out and gives the glass bottle another aggressive spin. It whirs sharply on the hardwood floor, a blur of green glass under the flashing blue lights, before slowing down and pointing its cap directly at you.
"Oh, finally! The spotlight shifts," Hana cheers, leaning forward on her elbows with a wicked, deeply intrigued grin. She doesn't hesitate for a second. "Okay, Y/N. Truth or drink. We all know you're fiercely independent in your daily life, but does that translate to the bedroom? Are you the type who likes to be completely in charge, calling all the shots, or do you prefer to submit?"
Your heart does a violent, erratic leap against your ribs. Out of the corner of your eye, you feel Jeongguk freeze.
You slowly turn your head to look at him, and the sheer intensity of his gaze almost makes you gasp. His sweet, round eyes are completely dark, his pupils blown so wide they nearly swallow the irises. Heās staring at your lips, his chest heaving under his oversized black sweater, practically vibrating with a sudden, suffocating hunger. He looks entirely undone by the question, his lips parting slightly as he waits for your answer with a desperate, breathless anticipation.
You clear your throat, forcing your voice to remain steady. "I think prefer being in charge," you reply, keeping it blunt and confident. "I like the feeling of control."
A low, collectiveĀ āOooooohā ripples through the circle of friends, but you barely hear them. The absolute heat of Jeonggukās unblinking stare is burning into your skin, making your throat go completely dry. Even though you answered the truth, you desperately need a distraction, so you lift your glass of vodka cranberry and take a heavy, long sip, letting the tart alcohol burn away the sudden spike of nerves.
"Knew it!" Hana laughs loudly, raising her cup to you in approval. "A total boss. Honestly, whoever ends up in your bed is a lucky bastard."
Hana grabs the bottle next, giving it a careless flick to keep the game moving. It spins and lands right back on her. Jin-woo immediately jumps in with a smirk. "Alright, Hana, truth or drink: Is it true you secretly cried when your ex got a matching tattoo with his new girlfriend?" Hana gasps, throwing a couch pillow directly at his face before grabbing her beer. "Shut up! I'm drinking, I am absolutely drinking for that one," she groans, chugging a massive gulp while everyone erupts into loud, teasing laughter.
The distraction gives you a brief moment to breathe, but when you glance back at Jeongguk, he hasn't moved an inch. He is still looking up at you from his spot on the floor, his silver lip piercing glinting.
The bottle gets spun again, whirring lazily until it grinds to a halt, pointing directly at another childhood friend, Jisung.
Jisung groans, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ah, man. Go easy on me. I've had a rough week."
Seojun leans forward, a thoughtful expression replacing his usual mischievous grin as the atmosphere shifts back into something a bit deeper. "Alright, Jisung. Real talk. Truth or drink: Since we're all getting older and life is pulling us in different directions, do you ever feel like you're getting left behind by the rest of us?"
Jisung sighs, a sad, honest smile touching his lips as he looks around the circle, his eyes briefly lingering on Jeonggukās massive, luxurious apartment. "Yeah," Jisung admits softly, his voice quiet against the background music. "Sometimes it's hard. Like, I'm so incredibly proud of Koo, and I love seeing all of you succeed, but looking at my own nine-to-five... it makes me feel like I'm standing still while everyone else is running. It's a weird kind of pressure."
"Dude, no," Jeongguk speaks up instantly, his raspy voice full of genuine affection. He leans forward, completely breaking the circle's boundary to grab Jisungās shoulder, squeezing it tightly with his hand. "Don't ever think that. None of this fame stuff matters if I don't have you guys to come home to. You're not left behind. You're exactly where you need to be."
Jisung smiles, visibly touched, and raises his glass to clink it against Jeongguk's tequila bottle. The warmth of their old friendship fills the room, but as Jeongguk pulls his hand back, his dark, heavy eyes slide right back to yours.
The rest of the party continued in a hazy blur of slurred words, loud, nostalgic belly laughs, and increasingly messy drinking. By the time the clock crawled past three in the morning, the high-energy atmosphere had completely dissolved. The final straw came when Jisung, looking pale and thoroughly defeated by the alcohol, stumbled toward the entryway and nearly threw up directly into a massive, expensive indoor plant pot.
Jin-woo caught him by the back of his jacket just in time. That was officially everyone's cue to leave.
There was a chaotic fifteen minutes of shuffling feet, mumbled thank-yous, and heavy slaps on shoulders as you helped herd his childhood friends out into the hallway. When the heavy front door finally clicked shut, the sudden, absolute silence of the multi-million dollar apartment felt deafening.
You turned back toward the living room, only to find Jeongguk dragging his feet across the hardwood floor. True to his word from earlier, he was clutching a plush, oversized pillow under one arm and trailing a heavy, dark duvet behind him, preparing to claim the sofa.
He was so incredibly drunk. His broad shoulders were slouched under his black sweater, his movements completely uncoordinated. As he tried to navigate around the low coffee table, his knee clipped the edge, causing him to stumble awkwardly. His hand shot out to steady himself, almost knocking an empty highball glass clean off the wood surface.
"Whoa, easy there," you murmured, quickly stepping into his space. You grabbed the glass before it could shatter, setting it safely aside, and then crouched down slightly to match his eye level as he heavily dropped his weight onto the edge of the cushions. "Koo... look at you. I think you should actually just take the bed tonight. I can sleep out here."
Jeongguk immediately gestured a clumsy, emphaticĀ no with his hand, shaking his head so hard a few strands of dark hair fell into his face. The sudden movement clearly sent a wave of vertigo through him, because it was instantly followed by a pained, whispered,Ā "Jesus..."as he tightly pressed his palm against his forehead, closing his eyes against the dim lights.
You cocked a brow at him, amused but secretly melting at how soft and defenseless he looked when the tough idol persona was stripped away entirely. "See? You can barely hold your head up. Go to your room, Jeongguk."
"No," he rasped, his voice incredibly deep and thick with sleep and alcohol. He slowly dropped his hand from his face, lifting his head to look up at you through his thick lashes. His sweet, round eyes were heavily hooded, wide and shimmering with some sort of vulnerability. "Don't go yet. Let's... let's talk for a while. I missed you. I missed you so much, Y/N."
Your heart did a violent, erratic hammer against your chest at the sheer desperation in his tone. It was a direct plea, completely unguarded.
Despite the warning bells screaming in your head about your decade-long crush, you found yourself complying. You let out a soft breath and sat down right next to him on the couch, the plush cushions sinking under your weight as his heavy, warm presence instantly enveloped you in the quiet dark.
The moment you settled onto the cushion, his heavy head fell sideways, landing directly on your shoulder. You were instantly engulfed by his scent. It was a fragrance so deeply familiar to you, cutting right through the tequila-infused softness he had going on tonight.
Jeongguk always smelled incredibly clean. Over the years, you had grown to associate crispy, clean cotton smells with his smile. Whenever his brutal, tight schedules didn't allow him the time to text or call you for weeks on end, you had found a strange sort of reprieve in those scentsābuying detergents or candles that smelled like fresh laundry just to feel like he wasn't entirely a world away.
He shifted against you, his cheek rubbing into the fabric of your shirt as the quiet apartment settled around you both. He noted the sudden, heavy silence in the room and tilted his head up just enough to look at your profile, his bottom lip pushing out into an almost childlike pout.
"Did not you miss me too?" he asked, his deep voice muffled against your neck, raw and terribly needy.
You couldn't help the soft smile that tugged at your lips. You turned your head slightly, your breath brushing over his hair. "Obviously, Koo. How could I not? Youāre my best friend."
At the wordĀ friend, Jeongguk let out a low, vibration-heavy hum in his chest. It wasn't a happy sound. He closed his eyes, his brow furrowing as he tightly gripped a fistful of the dark duvet resting on his lap.
"I'm so confused," he whispered, the admission sounding small and cracked.
You blinked, shifting slightly so you could look down at his face. "Why?" you asked softly, your heart doing a nervous, anticipatory flutter against your ribs. "What's making you confused?"
"Because it should feel different," Jeongguk muttered, his voice dropping into a register so low and raspy it sent a physical shiver straight down your spine. He didn't lift his head from your shoulder. He just pressed closer, his warm breath seeping through the fabric of your shirt.
You grew thoroughly confused, your fingers tightening around the edge of the couch cushion. "What? What should feel different, Koo?"
He let out a ragged, heavy sigh, his chest expanding against your side. "Everything," he whispered. "Iāve been thinking for a while... that love, real romantic love, should feel at least as deep and all-consuming as the type of love I have for you."
The wind was completely knocked out of your lungs. For a terrifying second, you forgot how to breathe entirely. Your mind raced back over the last ten years, the late-night phone calls, the quiet domesticity of your friendship, and the heavy, burning crush you had tried so desperately to bury. You bit your lip hard, the sharp sting of pain the only thing keeping you grounded, in a desperate attempt to steady your trembling voice.
"Jeongguk," you breathed, your voice barely audible over the hum of the refrigerator in the quiet apartment. "What... what do you mean by that?"
He finally pulled his head back from your shoulder, shifting on the plush cushions so he could face you fully. He looked entirely undone by the alcohol and the sheer weight of his own thoughts. He started explaining with his hands, his long fingers cutting through the dim light. His intricate tattoos shifted across his skin, and the silver rings on his fingers glinted sharply in the dark as he gestured in frustration.
"I can't do casual, Y/N," he said, his eyes wide, glossy, and swimming with a desperate, heavy sensitivity. "I can't. Because I know how true love should feel. I know it because of you. Every single time Iāve tried to date, every time Iāve tried to build something with someone else, I find myself associating what I feel for them in comparison with you."
A beat.
Two beats.
Three beats.
The silence in the room became so heavy it was suffocating.
"And every single time," Jeongguk whispered, his head tilting down as he looked up at you through his lashes, completely stripping away his defenses and surrendering his heart right into your hands, "Iāve found that they always come short. In comparison with you."
You tried to diffuse the situation right then and there. Your brain was working in overdrive, frantically constructing walls because the alternativeābelieving himāmeant stepping into a territory that could ruin everything you had built over the last years.
He was drunk. He was clearly not thinking straight. He was currently trying to be girl-sober, and in your mind, he was just projecting his deeply ingrained, serial monogamist tendencies onto the closest, safest thing he had. You.
It wasnāt true. ItĀ couldn't be true.
"Jeongguk," you said, your voice tight as you forced a breath into your lungs, desperately trying to ignore how loud your own heart was knocking against your ribs. "I think youāre just projecting. You're exhausted, you've been lonely on tour, and you're just confusing comfort for something else."
He muttered a low, raggedĀ "Jesus..."again, his hand rising to tightly press against his forehead. He didn't even seem to fully process what you said, completely deaf to the frantic rhythm of your chest as the alcohol and the emotional weight of his own confession finally dragged him under.
The raw intensity in his eyes flickered out, replaced by heavy exhaustion. Without another word, he let his upper body slide sideways, his head plopping heavily onto the plush pillow heād thrown on the edge of the couch.
He curled his body slightly into the cushions, his dark lashes fluttering shut as a deep, uneven breath left his parted lips, leaving you sitting there in the dim blue LED light, completely frozen next to him.
Thatās when you realize his bedroom door was probably still locked, a solid block of wood protecting a room you weren't allowed to enter.
You had absolutely no option but to sleep on the couch next to him. Letting out a quiet, defeated breath, you grabbed the edge of the heavy, dark duvet heād brought out, pulling it over both of your bodies to shield against the air conditioning. You shifted your weight, settling into the cushions as best you could, and tried to sleep.
It was impossible. Seven thousand thoughts were swirling in your mind, a chaotic storm of memory and denial.
But Jeongguk was drunk.
He was completely out of it, his deep, even breaths rising and falling against your side. He wouldn't remember this in the morning, you told yourself. Tomorrow, the sun would come up, the platonic armor would go back on, and he would just be your best friend again. You closed your eyes, letting the clean cotton scent of him anchor you as you finally drifted into a restless sleep, completely unaware of how thin the line between you had truly become.
But the next morning, he was nowhere to be seen.
When you finally opened your eyes, blinking against the harsh, bright sunlight piercing through the cracks of the heavy blackout curtains, the couch beside you was completely empty. You checked your phoneāit was god knows what hour of the late morningāand the realization that you were alone in the vast, quiet space hit you like a cold splash of water. The heavy dark duvet was pulled back, the plush pillow still holding the indentation of his head, but Jeongguk was gone.
So naturally, you grew a bit anxious.
A tight, familiar knot formed in the pit of your stomach as you sat up, the silence of the multi-million dollar apartment suddenly feeling incredibly heavy. Your mind instantly began to scramble, racing back through the events of the previous night. You hoped with everything you had that he would just forget what he said last night. You prayed the tequila had completely wiped his memory, that the slurred confessions about true love and people coming up short in comparison to you would just evaporate into the morning air. If he forgot, everything could go back to normal. You could go back to being the constant, unshakeable variable in his life.
But then the darker, terrifying thoughts started to bleed in, turning your anxiety into full-blown panic.
What if he remembered? What if he woke up with a pounding headache and a crystal-clear recollection of every single word that had left his mouth? What if he was so thoroughly mortified, so repulsed by the fact that he had crossed that sacred platonic line and laid his soul bare, that he had physically chosen to flee his own home just to avoid looking you in the eye?
You stood up, your knees slightly shaky, your eyes darting toward the hallway. His bedroom door was still closed, but the heavy silence in the apartment made it feel like he had abandoned the entire place just to escape the mess heād created in the dark.
Thatās when you heard the faucet running.
The sharp, metallic hiss of rushing water cut through the suffocating silence of the apartment, drawing your attention toward the kitchen. Your heart skipped a beat, the knot of anxiety in your stomach loosening just a fraction, only to tighten again with a completely different kind of tension.
With small steps, your feet padding quietly against the cold hardwood floor, you made your way down the hall. Every single breath you took felt like lead, heavy and burning in your chest. You braced yourself for a tense, awkward confrontation, preparing to play off his drunken rambling as a massive joke.
Instead, you rounded the corner and saw him in all his glory, completely naked from the belt up.
The bright morning sunlight poured through the kitchen window, hitting the sharp, fiercely toned lines of his back and shoulders as he stood in front of the sink. He had a clean pair of grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips, exposing that dark, dangerous happy trail youād been obsessing over the day before. His skin practically glistened, completely washed clean of the previous night's sweat and alcohol, and his dark, damp hair strands curled slightly around his nape. He was rinsing out a couple of mugs, hands moving with effortless, domestic grace.
As if sensing your presence, Jeongguk turned around.
There was no repulsion on his face. No awkwardness, no frantic desire to flee. Instead, his sweet, round eyes instantly crinkled at the corners, and a warm, lazy grin spread across his face, his silver lip piercing catching the morning light.
He greeted you in a sweet, entirely normal manner.
"Morning, sleepypants," he murmured, his voice a low, gravelly morning rumble that vibrated pleasantly in the quiet air. He set the mug down and gestured toward the espresso machine on the counter. "Coffee?"
You sit down awkwardly on one of the high barstools at the marble kitchen island, your hands folded in your lap as you nod your head. "Yes, please. Black is fine."
The silence stretches between you for a bit, heavy and thick on your end, though Jeongguk seems entirely unbothered as he presses a button on the espresso machine. The low whirring of the grinder fills the space, and the rich, dark scent of coffee begins to bloom in the air. Your mind is still a frantic mess of questions, the sheer weight of his shirtless torso in the bright morning light not helping your ability to think straight.
Unable to take the suspense any longer, you clear your throat. "Koo?"
He hums in response, not turning around just yet as he watches the dark liquid drip into the mugs, patiently waiting for you to continue.
You swallow hard, tracing a invisible line on the marble counter. "Do you... do you remember last night?"
Jeongguk freezes for a split second, his shoulders tensing just a fraction before he slowly turns around to face you. He leans back against the counter, crossing his tattooed arm over his bare chest, a totally blank, deadpan expression washing over his features.
"Last night?" he repeats, blinking his eyes with exaggerated confusion. He tilts his head, looking down at his own bare torso and then back up at you. "Wait... what year is it?"
You instantly catch onto the stupid joke, a rush of exasperated relief flooding your chest. You reach out, grabbing a random crumpled tissue you found sitting on the edge of the counter, and throw it straight at his face.
He ducks, but it clips his shoulder anyway. Jeongguk bursts into a loud, boxing-glove laugh, his eyes crinkling into those familiar, endearing crescents as the heavy tension in the room instantly evaporates.
"Yes," he says, his laughter dying down into a soft, knowing smile as he holds your gaze, his voice dropping back into that low morning cadence. "I remember last night, Y/N."
Your stomach drops straight through the floor. The relief you felt a second ago evaporates, replaced by a sudden, choking wave of heat that rises all the way to your face. You fumble with your words, your tongue feeling thick and clumsy as you try to form a coherent sentence.
"Youāyou remember?" you stammer, your hands nervously gripping the edge of the marble counter. "Then... what you said on the couch. Before you fell asleep. Did you... I mean, did you actually mean it?"
Jeongguk stays quiet for a while. The playful morning light suddenly feels too bright, too exposing. He doesn't move from where heās leaning against the counter, but the easy grin vanishes from his face. He looks down at his feet, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard, his chest expanding with a deep, deliberate breath.
When he finally lifts his head, his eyes are dead serious, devoid of any tequila-induced haze.
"Yes," he says, his voice a low, steady vibration. "I meant it."
You blink, your chest tightening so fast it hurts. "What... what did you mean, Jeongguk? Exactly?"
"I meant what I meant," he mutters, his jaw clenching as he shifts his weight. He crosses his arms tighter over his bare chest, a defensive instinct kicking in as he tries to maintain his footing. Heās trying to stay casual, trying to play the enigmatic card, but the slight twitch in his silver lip piercing gives him away.
"Yes, butĀ what does it mean?" you push, your voice cracking slightly out of frustration. You lean forward on the barstool, completely done with the riddles. "You don't get to drop a bomb like that, tell me everyone else comes short in comparison to me, and then just say 'I meant what I meant.' What does that mean for us, Jeongguk? What are you actually saying?"
Jeongguk stares at you, the silence stretching out between you like a taut wire. You can practically hear the furious looping in his head, the terrifying friction between the decade of friendship holding him back and the raw, suffocating desire to just stop hiding.
"It means exactly what you think it means, Y/N," he says defensively, his voice rising a fraction. "Why do I have to spell it out?"
"Because you were drunk!" you snap back, your own walls going up because you're terrified of getting your hopes destroyed. "Because people say crazy things when they've had six shots of tequila! You told me I'm the standard for your love life. Do you have any idea how insane that is to hear from your best friend?"
That's the breaking point.
Jeongguk cracks. The stubborn, defensive posture completely shatters, his arms dropping to his sides as he takes a sudden, aggressive step forward, closing the distance between the counter and your stool. He looms over you, his bare chest heaving, his eyes wide and burning with a desperate, chaotic intensity.
"It's not insane!" he bursts out, his voice cracking with a raw, emotional force that echoes through the quiet kitchen. He grips the edge of the marble island right next to your thighs, leaning down until his face is just inches from yours, entirely undone. "It's not the tequila, Y/N! I've been sober for months on tour and I thought about it every single day. Every girl I look at, every person I talk to, I'm just looking forĀ you in them. I'm tired of pretending I don't. I'm tired of the mystery. I meant that Iām in love with you, okay? Iāve been in love with you for years!"
"You're crazy!" you snap back, the pure panic in your chest bubbling over into anger as you push yourself back against the barstool. "You are completely crazy, Jeongguk! You canāt just wake up one day and decide to ruin a ten-year friendship because you had a breakthrough on tour! You don't just get to tear down everything we built because you feel like it!"
He flinches as if you physically struck him. The fierce, looming intensity drains from his posture in an instant, leaving him looking raw and incredibly small despite his broad frame. His eyes turn visibly sad, a thick, glossy sheen coating them under the bright kitchen lights. His jaw tightens, his silver lip piercing trembling just a fraction before a bitter, hurt laugh leaves his throat.
"Well, excuse the fuck out of me if I have feelings," he spits out, his voice cracking with a dangerous mix of anger and absolute rejection. He pulls his hands off the marble counter and takes a step back, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso again, as if trying to shield his chest from you. "Excuse me for actually trusting my best friend enough to be honest. I didn'tĀ decide to feel this way, Y/N."
"Itās not even about that!" you yell back, your hands flying into the air out of sheer frustration. You slide off the barstool, finally standing on your own two feet so you don't have to look up at him. "Jeongguk, think for one second! Could you actually afford to lose me if a relationship goes south? If we do this, if we cross that line and it blows up in our faces, we don't get to go back to being friends. I'm gone. You're gone. Everything is ruined. Can you honestly afford that?"
At your words, his entire demeanor shifts from heartbroken to super pissy and defensive, the vulnerability of his ego being bruised making him lash out.
"It wouldn't go south!" he barks, his chest heaving as he glares down at you, his face flushing a furious, hurt red. "Why are you already deciding we're going to fail? And you know what? It doesn't even matter because youāre standing here acting like you have the high moral ground! Like you're the only one who cares about our friendship and I'm just some reckless idiot trying to break it!"
"I donāt have a moral ground!" you shout, stepping right into his space, your voice matching his volume. "Iām just trying to be smart about this! Someone has to be, because you're clearly letting your emotions run completely wild right now!"
"Why should you be smart?!" Jeongguk erupts, his frustration completely breaking through the ceiling. He throws his hands up, the silver rings on his fingers flashing aggressively in the morning sun. He steps so close you can feel the radiating, shirtless heat of his skin, his breath hitting your face in short, ragged gasps. He looks down at you, his eyes searching your face with a suffocating anger. "Why do you always have to be the logical one? Tell me the truth, Y/Nāhave you ever even thought about me that way? Even once? Or am I just the only idiot whoās been suffocating in this for years?"
"Of course Iāve thought about you that way!" you burst out, the truth ripping through your throat before you could even try to stop it. "Every single day for the last ten years, Jeongguk! I have been suffocating right next to you, watching you date other people, watching you become a global superstar, completely terrified that if I said a word, Iād lose you forever!"
Jeongguk completely freezes. The furious, pissy retort dies right on his tongue, his mouth hanging open slightly as his chest heaves. His round eyes widen, the glossy unshed tears making them look impossibly huge as he processes your words.
"You..." he stammers, his voice becoming a breathless, vulnerable whisper. "You have?"
"Yes! But youāre sitting here acting like itās so simple," you say, your voice trembling with an overwhelming mix of anger, frustration, and a decade's worth of built-up tension. You take a step closer, your eyes locking onto his parted lips, then tracing up to the raw, completely undone expression on his face. He looks so helpless, so utterly desperate for your touch, standing there shirtless in the bright morning light.
You need him to understand. You need to prove to him that this isn't just some casual, easy dynamic he can play with. You want to prove a pointāto show him exactly what he's playing with, exactly how dangerous this boundary truly is.
Before he can utter another word, you reach out, your fingers gripping the soft fabric of his sweatpants at his hip to pull him in, and you slam your lips against his.
Jeongguk lets out a sharp, muffled gasp into your mouth, his entire body jolting at the sudden impact. But the hesitation lasts for less than a second. The moment he realizes you are actually kissing him, he completely shatters. A low, desperate groan rumbles deep in his chest, and his tattooed hands flies to your waist, his fingers digging into your skin with a terrifying, suffocating hunger.
The kiss is chaotic, fierce, and overflowing with ten years of unspoken agony. You pour everything into itāall the logic, all the smart choices, all the fear of losing himācrushing your lips against his until your teeth click. He tastes like the rich espresso he just brewed and the sharp, lingering heat of his own desperation. He follows your lead completely, surrendering to the dominance you admitted to just hours before, letting you call every single shot as he whimpers against your mouth, his frame trembling beneath your hands.
When you finally pull back, your chest heaving, your lips swollen and tingling, you try to step away to establish the boundary again. "See?" you breathe out, your voice shaky as you stare at his dark, completely blown-out pupils. "That is what we lose ifā"
"No," Jeongguk whines instantly, the sudden loss of your lips making him sound incredibly small and pathetic. His hands tighten on your waist, physically yanking you right back against his bare, warm chest. His nose brushes against yours, his breath hot and ragged. "No, Y/N. Please. Just one more. One more."
"Jeongguk, I'm trying to make a pointā"
"I don't care about the point," he groans, his voice turning super whiny, his bottom lip pushing out in a desperate, pouty expression that completely contrasts his heavily tattooed, muscular frame. He leans his forehead against yours, his eyes fluttering shut as he practically begs. "Just one more kiss. Please. Y/N. One more, and then Iāll listen to the logical stuff. Just one more."
You melt away entirely under the pathetic, desperate drag of his voice. Every ounce of your hard-earned logic completely liquefies, dripping away into the space between your pounding hearts as you slide your hands up his radiating chest to cup the back of his neck, pulling him right back down to you.
The moment your lips meet again, Jeongguk kisses you like itās the only thing he was ever put on this earth to do.
It is an agonizingly deep, consuming kiss that destroys any remaining illusion of your platonic past. He devours you, his plush lips parting with a fierce, wet desperation that immediately slicks your skin. He uses his tongue with a heavy, deliberate stroke, sweeping into your mouth to claim you entirely, tasting intensely of the bitter espresso and the sweet, clean mint from earlier. Every tilt of his head is a calculated shift to press deeper, his silver lip piercing sliding hot and sharp against your bottom lip, an intoxicating friction that sends a jolt of pure electricity straight to your core.
You let out a helpless, broken moan right into his mouth, the sound vibrating against his teeth.
The small noise completely undoes him. Jeonggukās hands abandon your waist to roam frantically all over you, his palms hot and heavy as they map out your body. He slides his hands down the curve of your back, his blunt fingernails digging into your clothes, before lifting up to cup your jaw, his tattooed thumb firmly pressing against your pulse point to hold you perfectly still for his assault. His chest presses flush against you, the hard, sculpted lines of his abdomen crushing into your frame until you can feel the frantic, booming rhythm of his heart matching your own.
He is entirely consumed, a slave to the sudden shift in your dynamic.
He briefly breaks the kiss, his lips only parting a fraction of an inch from yours, leaving a string of wet, heavy breaths between you. His glossy eyes flutter open, looking at you with a gaze so completely wrecked and swimming with desire that it makes your knees buckle. He whines against your skin, a high, desperate sound cutting through his deep morning rasp as his forehead drops heavily against yours.
"I'm gonna make you feel good," he pleads, his breath hot and ragged against your swollen mouth as his hands slide back down to desperately grip your hips. "Please, Y/N... please let me make you feel good. Just let me. Please."
You donāt reply right away, your mind completely fracturing into a thousand pieces as you stand frozen in his kitchen. Your thoughts pull you in every direction, desperately trying to analyze the wreckage of the last five minutes.
The damage is done. You already kissed himānot just a gentle slip of the lips, but a fierce, devastating confession of a kiss that blew every single one of your carefully constructed boundaries right out the door. The sacred line of the friendship hasn't just been crossed; itās been entirely incinerated.
As you stare down at his flushed face, a dark, heavy thought slips into your mind, taking root before your logic can tear it down:Ā Would it really be so bad to just go through with it?
If everything is already broken, if the mystery is gone, why keep fighting the very thing thatās been suffocating you both for a decade? You look at his chest rising and falling in sharp, ragged gasps, his skin radiating a maddening heat that pulls you in like gravity.
Before a single word can tumble past your swollen lips, Jeongguk completely unravels. His knees give out, hitting the hardwood floor with a soft thud as he drops down right in front of you.
The global superstar, the man who fills stadiums worldwide, is entirely brought to his knees, looking up at you with huge, glassy, pleading eyes. He looks so sweet, so raw, and completely submissive to whatever you decide next.
"Please," he whimpers, the word spilling out of him like a broken prayer. "Please, Y/N."
He doesn't wait for your permission. His hands slide up the back of your legs, his palms scalding hot through the fabric of your clothes as he pulls your hips closer to his face. He buries his face against you, his warm forehead pressing firmly against your lower stomach as a ragged breath hitches in his throat.
"Let me make you feel good," he begs into your clothes, his voice dropping into a desperate, deep vibration that resonates straight through your skin. "Just let me do this for you. Please."
Then, his plush lips press against your clothed thighs.
He kisses you right through the fabric, his mouth hot and damp, leaving heavy, branding presses of his lips along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. He nuzzles his face deeper against your legs, whining softly when you don't immediately push him away. The absolute friction of his silver lip piercing catching against the material, combined with the desperate, worshipful way his hands tighten on the back of your thighs, makes your breath hitch sharply in your throat. Your hands fly to his bare shoulders just to keep yourself steady, your fingers digging into his smooth, firm skin as the room tilts on its axis.
Your fingers sink deeper into the smooth muscle of his bare shoulders as the sheer weight of his worship pulls you under. The internal debate, the frantic logic, the fear of what happens when the dust settlesāit all completely evaporates.
"Okay," you finally whisper, the single word cutting through his desperate, ragged breaths. "Okay, Jeongguk. Do it."
The permission hits him like an electric shock. He doesn't waste a single second, his hands moving with an frantic, desperate urgency. He grips the waistband of your pants and underwear together, his knuckles brushing against your skin as he tugs them down your legs in a breathless hurry. You kick out of them, your feet hitting the cool hardwood floor, leaving you completely exposed to him in the middle of the bright kitchen.
When he leans his head back in, you let out a sharp, involuntary hiss as the hot, concentrated burst of his breath hits your sensitive pubic area.
But he doesn't touch you yet. Jeongguk just stays frozen on his knees, his hands still tightly gripping the back of your thighs to anchor you in place. Heās just looking. His sweet eyes are wide and completely dark with a devastating mixture of awe and pure hunger. His chest heaves, his silver lip piercing glinting as his lips part slightly, his gaze completely tracing every inch of you as if heās memorizing a holy text.
The intense, unblinking weight of his stare makes you shift your weight, a sudden spike of heat rushing to your face. "Jeongguk," you breathe out, your voice trembling. "What... what are you doing?"
"I need more room," he rasps, his voice dropping into a thick, desperate growl.
Before you can even process the words, his large hands slide under your thighs and around your back. In one swift, effortless motion, he lifts you completely off the ground. You let out a small gasp, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he carries you out of the kitchen. He moves with a singular, fierce focus, and in a matter of seconds, youāre in his bedroom.
He lays you down onto the mattress, and you find yourself completely sprawled across the dark, silk sheets of his bed, the heavy clean cotton scent of him enveloping you entirely.
Jeongguk doesn't even let you catch your breath. He crawls up onto the mattress immediately, his large, heavy body looming over yours for a fraction of a second before he slides right back down between your thighs. He hooks your knees over his shoulders, pinning you open, and buries his face directly between your legs.
The first touch of his tongue is a wet, heavy stroke that makes your entire body arches off the bed. He eats you out like itās a form of salvation, his mouth hot, wide, and utterly ravenous against your wet skin. He uses his tongue with a frantic, consuming rhythm, lapping at you with deep, deliberate strokes that pull a loud, undone moan right from your throat. The slick, wet sounds of his mouth against you echo in the quiet room, completely destroying any lingering sanity.
Even as he devours you, the desperate, pleading energy from the kitchen doesn't leave him. Every time you twist your fingers into his damp, dark hair to pull him closer, a muffled, high whine breaks from his throat, vibrating directly against your clit. He nuzzles his face deeper into your heat, his silver lip piercing sliding sharp and intoxicating against your most sensitive spots, making you sob his name into the empty air.
"Please," he whimpers against your wet flesh, breaking his rhythm for only a split second to breathe your name, his voice cracked and completely wrecked. His hands grip your hips so tightly his knuckles turn white, silently begging you to hold him there, to let him keep drowning in you. "Please tell me it's good. Tell me you like it, Y/N. Just let me stay right here."
You can only cry out in response, your hips instinctively rolling into his mouth as his tongue darts back inside, deeper and more desperate than before, completely surrendering his entire existence to the rhythm of your pleasure.
The sound of his name ripping from your throat sends a visible shiver straight through his broad, shirtless frame. Hearing how undone you are only makes him more desperate, his tongue working with a frantic, wet rhythm that has your hips rolling blindly into his face.
"You're so good, Koo," you gasp out, your knuckles turning white as you fist your fingers into his damp, dark hair, pressing him closer. "Ahāyes, right there. You're making me feel so good. So good..."
Jeongguk lets out a muffled, high whine directly against your core, the high-pitched, needy sound vibrating straight through you. The praise completely undoes him. He sucks a hard, bruising path up your inner lip, his silver piercing scraping perfectly against your most sensitive flesh, pulling a loud, broken sob from your lungs. He is utterly buried in you, his hands gripping the undersides of your thighs so tightly that his bicep muscles bulge under his smooth, tattooed skin. He nuzzles deeper, lapping at your slick heat with a ravenous, worshipful speed, swallowing your whimpers like they are the only thing keeping him alive.
The friction is too much. The intense, deep heat building in your lower stomach is expanding so fast it feels dangerous, blinding you to everything else in the room. You are getting so entirely into it, the overwhelming pleasure clouding your logic until you can't breathe, can't think, can't handle the agonizingly slow burn of just his mouth anymore.
You want him. You want all of him.
With a breathless cry, you pull your hands out of his hair and adjust the position you're in, your palms sliding down his broad chest, past his tensed abs, to the low waistband of his grey sweatpants. Jeongguk senses the shift immediately, his head lifting, his lips glistening, dark hair falling wildly over his wide, blown-out eyes as he looks up at you with a breathless, questioning whimper.
You don't say a word. You simply hook your fingers into the cotton of his sweats and underwear, tugging them down past his hips in one swift, demanding motion.
His cock springs free, thick, heavy, and leaking a bead of pre-cum that glints in the bedroom light. It twitches against his lower stomach, fully erect and radiating a maddening heat. Jeongguk lets out a raw, hitched breath, his hands trembling on your mattress as he hovers over you, completely exposed, his chest heaving as he waits in agonizing suspense for what you're going to do to him next.
You wrap your fingers firmly around the thick, pulsing base of his shaft, the skin scalding hot against your palm. Jeongguk lets out a shaky, pathetic gasp the moment your hand closes around him, his hips twitching forward instinctively. Without giving him a second to recover, you lean forward, parting your lips, and slide the plush, leaking head of his cock straight into your mouth.
He completely loses his mind.
A loud, ragged moan rips from his throat, echoing sharply in the quiet bedroom. You swirl your tongue around the sensitive ridge, catching the slick pre-cum, before sinking your mouth lower, drawing him deeper down your throat. The rich, clean scent of him mixes with the musk of his arousal, entirely consuming your senses. You use your tongue to stroke the sensitive underside of his shaft, your lips wrapping tight around him to create a fierce, suffocating vacuum as you bob your head in a steady, demanding rhythm.
He throws his head back, hair spilling over his forehead as a continuous string of broken groans and breathless whimpers spills from his parted lips. He doesn't try to hold back, his chest heaving as he watches you through hooded, blown-out eyes, his silver piercing catching the light every time his jaw slacks.
"Ah,Ā God, Y/N," he pants, his voice cracking with pure, unadulterated worship. His large, tattooed hand flies to your hair, but he doesn't push you downāhe just cradles your head with a trembling, gentle grip, completely submissive to your pace. "You're so perfect. Look at you... fucking hell, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Please, you're destroying me."
The praises are heavy, thick with a devotion that makes your chest ache. Heās praising you in a way you've never been praised before, treating your mouth like a sanctuary, completely unbothered by his own ego. You take him deeper, your thumb rubbing over his balls, and the combination makes his hips roll blindly against your lips, a low, desperate whine vibrating in his chest.
The edge is getting too sharp for him. The friction of your wet mouth and the agonizingly sweet torture of the rhythm has him shaking from head to toe. His fingers tighten in your hair, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps as he feels himself reaching a dangerous point of no return.
He suddenly pulls back just enough to slip his cock from your lips, a heavy string of saliva connecting you for a fraction of a second. Jeongguk hovers over you on his knees, his entire body trembling, his face flushed a dark, beautiful red as he looks down at your wet, swollen lips.
"I can'tāI can't just take," he begs, his voice breaking completely as he drops his forehead against your chest, his chest heaving against your skin. He is entirely undone, crying out as his hands slide down to grip your hips, physically pulling you back down onto the mattress. He positions himself right between your soaked, aching thighs, the heavy head of his cock rubbing torturously against your wet core. "Please, Y/N. I need to be inside you. Please let me come home. Please let me inside."
A dark, heady rush of power floods your veins as you look down at him. Seeing the man who fills stadiums worldwide reduced to a trembling, pleading mess right under you is intoxicating. You smirk against the flushed skin, your fingers sliding up his damp neck to tilt his face up.
"Put it on then, Koo," you murmur.
You say your consent, and the word acts like a green light. Jeongguk scrambles, blindly fishing a condom from the nightstand drawerāyou aren't even paying attention to where he gets it from, your eyes locked onto the sharp, beautiful lines of his tensed muscles as he tears the foil open with his teeth.
His hands are shaking so violently it takes him two tries to roll the latex down his thick, pulsing length.
The moment heās protected, he doesn't wait. He lines the wet, heavy head of his cock against your slick opening and sinks into you in one deep, agonizingly slow push.
A loud, broken sob rips from your throat as he fills you completely, stretching you out until you're entirely consumed by the sheer size of him. Jeongguk lets out a guttural, trembling groan into the crook of your neck, his large frame collapsing over yours, his full, shirtless weight pinning you into the dark silk sheets.
"Ah,Ā God, Y/N... you're so tight, you're so warm," he whimpers, his voice completely wrecked as he begins to move.
The friction is instant and overwhelming. Jeongguk doesn't fuck you with the practiced, cocky rhythm of a man in control; he fucks you with a desperate, frantic hunger, his hips snapping forward in deep, heavy thrusts that rock the entire bed. He is completely starved for you, his tattooed hand sliding under your lower back to lift your hips higher, taking every single inch you have to offer. The wet, slapping sound of his skin hitting yours echoes in the quiet bedroom, mixed with his continuous, vocal praises.
Heās riding the absolute edge from the very first stroke, the decade of built-up desire making him impossibly sensitive. His breath comes in short, panicked gasps against your ear, his silver lip piercing grazing your pulse point as his pace turns frantic, unhinged.
"I'm gonnaāY/N, I'm close, I can't hold it," he cries out, his voice cracking. He gives three more deep, blind thrusts, his entire body locking up as a low, ragged scream tears from his lungs. He spasms against you, his cock twitching violently inside your walls as he finishes first, spilling himself entirely into the condom.
But he doesn't stop.
Even as his climax ripples through him, leaving him completely overstimulated and trembling, he refuses to pull out. He knows you haven't crossed the line yet. With his jaw clenched and his eyes swimming with tears from the sheer, burning sensitivity of his post-nut state, Jeongguk forces his hips to keep moving.
He whimpers miserably with every single stroke, the friction against his overstimulated skin clearly driving him crazy, but he keeps pushing inside you anyway.
"I've got you," he pants, a high, needy whine breaking from his lips as he drags his body up and down yours, his movements slower now, heavier, grinding his pelvis right against your clit with agonizing precision. "I'm not stopping... please, baby, come for me. Let me feel you clamp down on me. Please."
The sight of him pushing through his own overstimulation just to please you completely shatters whatever restraint you have left. Your internal walls collapse. Your hips begin to roll frantically against his, your toes curling into the silk sheets as the tight coil in your lower stomach snaps.
You scream his name as a violent, crushing orgasm ripples through your body. Your internal muscles clamp down tightly around his thick shaft, milking him through the latex. Jeongguk lets out a loud, pathetic whimper at the tight squeeze, his forehead dropping heavily onto your shoulder as he rides out the wave of your climax with you, completely spent, completely yours.
He collapses right besides you, his massive, shirtless frame molding perfectly against you as he pulls you into his chest. Both of your chests are heaving in the quiet room, the only sound the ragged asymmetry of your breathing slowing down. Jeongguk nuzzles his face into your hair, tracing his plush, swollen lips along your jawline before kissing you tenderly on the cheekāa soft, lingering pressure that feels entirely detached from the frantic, consuming chaos of just moments ago.
You lie there, the cool air of the bedroom hitting your bare skin where his body isn't pinning you down. The reality of what just happened begins to settle into your bones, the heavy fog of pleasure lifting to reveal the massive, uncharted territory youāve both just stepped into.
"Jeongguk," you breathe out, your voice still a little raspy. You turn your head slightly, trying to look at him. "We should talk about it. About... us. What this means."
He lets out a soft, tired groan, burying his face deeper into your neck. His large, tattooed arm wraps securely around your waist, pulling you so close there isn't a single millimeter of space left between you.
"We will," he promises, his low rumble vibrating right against your skin. "I promise weāll talk about everything you want. Just... please let me enjoy this moment for a second. Let me just hold you."
You agree, nodding your head slightly against his chest, but you are visibly lost in your thoughts. Your eyes trace the unfamiliar contours of his bedroom, the dark silk sheets, the heavy shadows on the wall. The anxiety hasn't completely vanished, it's just waiting on the periphery, whispering questions about tomorrow, about his career, about the fragile ten-year foundation you just risked.
As if sensing the sudden shift in your energy, Jeongguk shifts. He props himself up on one elbow, hovering over you just enough to look down into your face. His eyes are incredibly soft, completely clear of the tequila from last night and the blinding lust from minutes ago. He reaches up, his gentle thumb tracing your cheekbone, wiping away a stray bead of sweat.
"Hey," he murmurs, his piercing catching the soft light. He looks at you with an unwavering certainty that makes your heart skip a beat. "Iām going to make sure nothing goes south. I promise you. I love you, Y/N."
Hearing the words spoken so clearly, without a drop of alcohol or adrenaline to hide behind, makes the last of your defenses crumble.
"I love you too," you whisper back.
He smilesāa genuine, boyish grin that reminds you exactly of the teenager you met a decade agoāand pulls you back down against him. As you nuzzle your nose deep into the warm, clean-scented crook of his neck, listening to the steady, unshakeable beat of his heart beneath your cheek, the frantic thoughts in your mind finally begin to quiet down.
Maybe the logic didn't matter. Maybe, against all odds, it really was going to be okay.
No matter how tired he is, your best friend always calls you on FaceTime whenever heās on tour and greets you with āMiss me?ā. Every single time youād reply with a ānoā, until you couldnāt resist him anymore when he suddenly shows up at your door unannounced.
friends to lovers. idol!jk āāĀ mutual pining. kissing. profanity. inspired by āMiss me moreā by Eric Nam!
length. 0.8k
memos. Thought of this while listening to Eric Namās new song, āMiss me moreā on loop. Also, can you tell that I miss jk in skinny jeans? Thereās just something about him in skinny jeans and before tattoos that just hits different. Anyway, enjoy this āminiā drabble. Have a couple more ideas in my head ā should I make a collection of them?
minis collection | main masterlist
You sit on top of your comforter on your bed with your legs stretched out, your left ankle crossed over your right. Your arms are folded across your chest as you have your head turned to your left and stare at your phone next to you. It lays flat on the nightstand, completely silent. Unfolding your arms, you twist your body and reach over with your right arm to tilt your phone toward you to check the time.Ā
It's about time he called. Why isn't it ringing?
Every time your best friend leaves to go on tour, he'd call you on Face Time. It doesn't matter if he had just done six encores or stayed up all night after a show. No matter how tired he is, it is a routine that he always sticks to. Not once is there a day that he doesn't call you.Ā
So now, youĀ expectĀ him to call you.Ā
Your hand tilts the phone back down so that it lays flat again. As you move your body back into the position it was in just seconds ago, you exhale softly. That's when your phone rings and a Face Time call from him comes through. You inhale sharply and reach for your phone again, adjusting your position so that you're sitting up with your legs crossed. Suspending the phone in the air in front of your face, you clear your throat before answering the Face Time call.Ā
"Miss me?" He has a smirk on his face as he's staring at you through the screen. The same smirk he always wears whenever he calls you on Face Time and asks that question.Ā
"No." You scoff while shaking your head.
"How many more times do I have to ask that for you to admit that you do miss me every time I go on tour?" He chuckles, raising his eyebrows.Ā
"You can stop asking that because I will never admit it." You see the video shaking as he seems to be walking somewhere and the background looks awfully familiar.Ā
"Hold on, I'll call you back." He says before abruptly ending the Face Time call.Ā
You stare at your phone home screen and softly blink twice before hearing the doorbell ring. Your head jerks to the left upon hearing the sound and it rings again. "Who is it?" You mumble to yourself while tossing your phone onto the comforter in front of you and inching off of your bed to go answer the door.Ā
You take a few more steps toward the front door of your apartment. "Who is it?" You call but there's no answer. Tilting your head to the side, your left hand reaches for the lock on the door and turns it to unlock the door before pulling it open.Ā
"You still won't admit it even if I show up like this?" He stands in your doorway with both his thumbs stuck inside his jeans pockets . He's wearing that stupid smirk again.Ā
"Jungkook." You stand on the other side of the doorframe and call his name. "What are you doing here?"Ā
"I came back a bit early from tour so I came to see you." His eyebrows move up and down. "So, did you miss me?"Ā
You don't answer and just stare at him. He's wearing a black CK t-shirt and skinny jeans. Seeing him standing in front of you like this felt like a dream. A dream that you didn't ever want to wake up from. Because you did miss him. You miss him every time he leaves to go on tour.Ā
"Damn it." You mutter under your breath as you exhale. You blink softly again before your right hand grabs the collar of his t-shirt and pulls his body closer to yours. His face is inches away from yours and his eyes are wide while they look down at you. "This is all your fault." You whisper while maintaining eye contact with him just before you stand on your toes to press your lips against his.Ā
Jungkook immediately responds to your intimate touch by closing his eyes and kissing you back. His right hand holds the back of your head as you take two steps back and he takes two forward so that he's now kissing you against the wall next to the door. While his lips stay connected to yours, he uses his left foot to push the door closed. His lips move gently against yours as his other hand wraps around your waist. You and he stay joined at the lips for a few more seconds before he pulls away.Ā
His eyes open as do yours and Jungkook looks down at you, his right hand now caressing your left cheek and his left still on your waist. "I'll take that as you did miss me? So are we now-?"Ā
You roll your eyes and chuckle softly, "Shut up."Ā
Jungkook smirks again with his eyes gazing at you seductively. He then pulls you closer to him by your waist and your chest is now touching his. You let out a soft gasp at the sudden pull and keep your eyes on his as he leans down to connect his lips with yours again.Ā
