I CAN MAKE YOU FALL TOO || 이한 x fem!reader ||
->|: santa doesn't know you like i do - Sabrina Carpenter
SYNOPSIS :(💬) when getting snowed in at your best friends cramped apartment on christmas seems like a nightmare to some, you come to find it’s your greatest dream.
PAIRING : leehan x fem!reader GENRE(S) : childhood friends to lover, requited love, fluff WARNING(S)/TAG(S) : kissing, skinship, reader is a bit hard on herself when it comes to her feelings WORD COUNT : 2,449
A/N : MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! i locked in so hard so that i could get this out in time and i finally finished!! unfortunately i cannot get enough of leehan so yes i’m writing for him again even though i just did but WHO CARES AM I RIGHT?? anyways merry christmas again, hope you all have a wonderful day!!🎅🚪
REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE SO APPRECIATED !!‧₊˚‧
“are you ready yet?” leehan’s voice rang through your phone that was sitting on your vanity, mixed in with all of your scattered makeup and hair products. you could tell he was growing more and more frustrated each seconds by the tone of his voice
“just..give me like 10 more minutes and i’ll be out the door.” you said as your took down your hair to restart your hairstyle for the 4th time. “seriously, you said that 15 minutes ago! are you even dressed yet?” he asked.
you turned to the mirror standing next to you, reflection an exact imagine back at you: a too big t-shirt littered with bleach stains from your high school years, sweatpants covered in cat hair, and your hair that looks as if you had just rolled out of bed despite waking up and hour and a half ago.
leehan sighed, trying to sound annoyed even though you knew he could never get mad at you.
“it’s only me! do you forget i’ve seen you snot-crying on the swings in 4th grade over someone trampling a caterpillar?”
you grimaced at his words, the embarrassment of the memory settling into a pit inside your stomach. the truth is, you’ve had a crush on leehan since before you’d even heard of multiplying. you’d watched him go through nearly every phase of life, listened when he needed to talk, offered your shoulder when he needed to cry.
about a year ago you swore that you’d never confess to him, too afraid to ruin the relationship the two of you had now. it’s not like he’d reciprocate your feelings, you saw all his past girlfriends, gorgeous girls who wouldn’t even so much as look in your direction when in public.
but that didn’t stop you from having the littlest bit of hope bloom inside of you whenever he called your name or looked at you as if you were the only girl in the world—his entire world.
“i know, i know,” you said as you struggled yet again with your hair, giving up and typing it into a high ponytail with your favorite floral scrunchie. “i’ll start heading over soon, i promise.”
“you better.” he replied, a smirk obviously playing on his lips by the sound of his voice. “i’ll let you do your thing, see you soon okay?”
“sounds good!” you shot back from across your bedroom as your dug like a dog through your closet for something casual but still cute. you eventually landed on a white t-shirt, a soft pink hoodie to go over it, the light gray sweatpants you got for christmas last year, and your favorite pink sneakers. grabbing all of your things, you rushed out the house and set off for leehan’s.
during the drive over to leehan’s house, you noticed an occasional fall of snow, nothing too crazy but definitely noticeable. by the time you arrive to leehan’s house, it was coming down even more. thin layers of snow covered everything in its white silky-ness, clinging to your hair and eyelashes.
you knocked on his door in your usual pattern, the one you two made up when you were 8.
knock..knock knock..knock knock
within seconds the door swung open, leehan beaming straight at you. you smiled back, trying to hide the queasy feeling in your stomach. leehan had a knack for making you feel this way—offering to carry your bag even if it’s not heavy, giving you 15 dollars when you only needed 5, or lending you clothes and not even ask for them back. but just as the butterflies in your stomach multiplied, hope beating wildly in your chest, he’d find a way to remind you you’re only friends, all you ever been and all you’ll ever be. a friend.
“jeez, it’s really coming down, huh?” he looked over you shoulder into the white flurry flowing behind you. “did you have a hard time driving here?”
you waved your hands frantically, as if you don’t want him to worry about when in reality all you’ve ever wanted was for him to care so much for you.
“i was perfectly fine, i’m sure the snow will end soon!”
a couple hours later, you were curled up on leehan’s couch, the christmas movie you watched together every year on the screen as you waited for him to come back so you could finally unpause it. leehan on the other hand was in the kitchen, a familiar smell leaking out and making its way into your nostrils.
“are you making cookies?” you called out from your spot on the cushion.
“yup! your favorite!” he called back.
you could feel the heat creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks. had he really remembered your favorite cookies when your own siblings couldn’t remember for the life of them?
standing up off the couch you padded over to the kitchen and peeked your head inside. leehan caught your eyes instantly, smiling as he presented the cookies that were still steaming on the pan. they were your favorite. he remembered.
“you remembered?” you asked, voice small and hushed.
“of course. how could i forget my favorite girls favorite cookie?”
your heart leapt into your throat, your body freezing. favorite girl? was he being serious? would he set the cookies down, step closer to you and brush a stray hair out of your face, tell you he’s loved you all these years? or would be laugh and deem it a joke.
it didn’t matter. you knew leehan was out of reach for you. like an expensive dress you could never afford so you have to stare through shop windows, fantasizing about wearing it while walking through the city under the warm spring sun. what mattered was staying by his side no matter what, whether he saw you as a friend or something more. all you want is to be with him, feel his presence and stay an important someone in his heart.
before you could think any longer, you felt a hand grab yours, leading you back to the couch. of course, it was leehan. his hand was softer than you’d imagined—warmer too. his grip was so gentle yet firm, as if he didn’t want to hurt you but didn’t want you to slip away.
“leehan..” you said under your breath, it was the only thing you could get out after he practically knocked the air from your lungs with one simple action.
he turned to look at you, eyes wide with concern seeing your flushed face.
“are you okay, do you have a fever or something?” he let go of your hand to feel your forehead, searching your face for any sign of discomfort or sickness. you backed away suddenly, his touch sending a jolt of energy through your veins.
“i’m fine,” you said quickly. “don’t worry about me..let’s just watch the movie.”
you slipped past him onto the couch, unpausing the movie as you covered yourself with the nearest blanket. even though you desperately tried to keep your eyes off of him, you could tell leehan was concerned. but how could you care when you almost poured your heart out to him right there in his living room?
you were stupid for thinking someone like him would accept your feelings.
after two painstakingly long hours, the movie had finished and you were now on a walk, leehan right by your side. usually, conversation would be flowing, topic after topic, inside joke after inside joke. but now it was just awkward, all you wanted was to dig a hole through the ground an jump straight into it, never to be seen again. leehan must’ve noticed the troubled look on your face, clearing his throat to speak soon after.
“are you..alright?” he sounded hesitant, like if he said the wrong thing you might actually end up digging that hole.
“of course! why do you ask?” you knew why, but you wanted to hear him ask, wanted to know he cared.
“well, back at the apartment it sounded like you wanted to tell me something before i checked your temperature.”
“oh uhm,” you racked your brain for an excuse.
“i was just gonna thank you for the cookies, you know, not even my siblings remember my favorite kind.” you let out an awkward chuckle.
“are you sure?” he stopped walking.
you turned around and saw he was staring right into your eyes, they were filled with the same hope yours were whenever he said something that made your heart do summersaults inside your chest.
“leehan?” you were concerned, never had he acted like this before. this was an entirely new side of him and to be honest, you wanted to see what it entailed.
he stepped closer to you, snow crunching softly under his feet. you were frozen in place, every scenario you’d imagine with leehan now flashing in your head. was this really happening? he took both your hands, eyes never leaving yours as he spoke.
“i’ve been holding it in forever, but i just can’t anymore.” you swallowed hard, wondering if he could feel your hands starting to get clammy already.
“i love you, y/n. i love you so much it hurts. every morning i imagine myself waking up next to you, your hair messy and sticking in every direction from sleep. making breakfast together, watching movies while we’re cuddled so close we can share the same blanket without any trouble.” his voice was cracking now, his breathing heavy and uneven.
“i swore to myself i’d never tell you, i’ve been keeping this in since high school. i’d see you talking to all these guys back then, the same guys i wished every day i could be just so you could see me as something more than a friend. guys who were smarter than me, stronger, more athletic, more attractive. i don’t want to be just a friend to you. i want to be more—i always have.”
his eyes were scanning over your features, his obvious worry and anxiety growing more and more with each second you didn’t respond.
“y/n?..” he asked in a hushed voice.
before he could say any more you grabbed his face in your hands, the hope that always sat in the back of your mind growing into pure courage. in the next second your lips were on his, years and years of yearning finally coming out into this one kiss. it didn’t feel rushed, forced, not even aggressive considering how much both you have been waiting for this exact moment.
it was gentle. a moment you two knew needed to be savored, like waiting for food to cool down before eating it in order to taste it for what it is instead of focusing on the painful sensation in your mouth. you didn’t want this to end. you wanted to freeze time, stay here holding leehan’s face as you pour out over a decade of love and want into this moment.
when you eventually pulled away, rosy and breathless, the only thing you could do was laugh. at the hopelessness you’d feel whenever you saw leehan talking to a pretty girl, whenever you two were out together and someone would ask for his number, when the whole time he was just was crazy over you as you were over him.
“what’s funny?” leehan asked, the corners of his mouth lifting despite him having no idea what you were laughing about.
you waved a hand, still laughing “it’s nothing, let’s just go back so i can make it home before it gets dark.”
you took his hand in yours and started walking, leehan quickly falling into step next to you.
when you finally arrived back to leehan’s apartment, you found your car practically buried in snow, the roads completely covered in inches of it.
“how am i gonna get home?” you questioned, starting to consider digging your car out with your bare hands. just then leehan appeared at your side, a small smirk playing on his lips.
“you could always sleep here, we’ve had so many sleepovers already so what’s the difference?”
“of course, now come on.”
he led you inside and closed the door behind the both of you. he went to his bedroom and rummaged through his clothes drawers for a bit before finding and handing you a hoodie and a pair of his sweatpants.
“here you go, you can take a shower and change into these. i already took a shower before we left so i’ll be waiting for you.”
as always, your heart skipped a beat—but this time it was different. there was no feeling of defeat trapped behind your ribcage, no pang of jealousy when you thought of the other girls leehan’s talked to this way. now there was just happiness, a huge, unkept garden of flowers blooming and filing your chest.
you took your shower and changed into the clothes leehan gave you, his scent still lingering faintly on the fabric. as a teenage girl, you had always dreamed of a moment like this—a cute guy lending you his clothes as he waited you to join him in bed, the two of you cuddled close until the sun rises. the fact that this could all be happening to you right now was still so hard to process.
“can i come in?” you stood outside the door, fixing your hair for the 3rd time in the past minute. the door opened before you just then, leehan smiling down at you. you walked into the room before sitting down on the edge of his bed, looking around as if you’d never been here before. but to be honest it really felt that way. to be laying in leehan’s bed and not having to imagine the way he looks at you, not having to fantasize about turning over and snugging into him.
he sat down on the opposite side of the bed, pulling the blanket down and tapping the mattress. you turned and realized what he was signaling. you laid down next to him as he settled into bed, one of his arms snaking around your waist as the other adjusted the blankets to they would cover your entire body.
soon enough you could feel your eyelids growing heavy and your breathing getting slower, tucking your head into the crook of leehan’s neck. he let out a content sigh as he ran a gentle hand through your hair, leaning in close before speaking.
“i’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered into your hair. “dream of me.”
and with that he placed a soft kiss to your forehead, ending off your fairytale of a day.
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