anyway my eternal struggle is finding a balance between my desire to explore messier & more complicated dynamics and relationships versus my desire to explore Mello just being down DEBILITATINGLY bad for Near. like tearing out his hair insane with lust over this guy who's sitting on the floor making their puppets kiss. lying awake at night staring at the ceiling vividly recalling a moment earlier in the day where he touched the back of Near's hand. face warm heart racing. he's 20 going on 21 but feels like a middle schooler w/ his first crush. Near is meanwhile writing OC x OC erotic transformers fanfiction with analogs of Mello and himself as the main love interests & waiting for Mello to get out of denial enough to [REDACTED]
concept: Near "accidentally" emails his transformers erotica to Mello [<- guy who doesn't know how to flirt normalstyle] and then follows up with "please disregard I meant to email that to my personal account." Mello of course reads the erotica anyway and he picks up on Near's OC being a self-insert but does NOT pick up on the fact that the other character is supposed to be him, so instead of getting the hint that Near wants to fuck him he thinks Near wants to fuck a transformer [<- this could be a little true as well, we just don't know] and falls down a rabbit hole trying to figure out how to make a custom robot suit that he could have sex in
possibly funniest option here is if Near is NOT actually interested in robot cosplay sex but in the process of investigating it, Mello develops a new fetish
i think one of the worst things the left wing internet ever did was push the idea that oppression is basically a virtue, and being oppressed is a sign of your morality. it has made it likeâŚimpossible for some of you to hold the idea that most people are privileged in some ways and oppressed in others. AND a lot of you seem to have it in your mind that terrible people cannot be oppressed, and that oppressed people cannot do terrible things, which is a dangerous rhetoric to hold imo.
I had assumed I was reaching at first but i noticed that sometimes when there is tension between the kagebros, Mob gives off an intimidating stare at Ritsu but then switches to *Ritsu my pride and joy* fond look, its so subtle specially in the anime
During the alley scene
at claw (this one is too subtle but still, also ritsu is sweating and anxious)
but here it is in a chapter from the anthology where its more obvious so its not just meÂ
like no wonder Ritsu is constantly walking on eggshells and eventually snapped
 Mob please stop giving your brother mixed signals, look what you did now he obtained loss
Okay Iâve added this before but I think i can explain it better
So I talked about the kagebros miscommunication through eye contact, and I wanna relate that to the the fact that ritsu saw his brother having powers as the norm. And after the accident he saw having powers as the only way for him to be able to talk to mob as theyâd be on the same level
So hereâs a âcommunicating through powersâ arc happening
Serizawa vs mob (friendship 100%)/Touichirou vs mob (compassion 100% and kindness 100%)/Dimple vs mob (trust 100%)/and the comparison between communication through psychic powers vs eye contact shown with Takenaka vs mob / then ritsu (100%) vs mob
*sees a bird* i should learn to identify birds *sees a flower* i should learn more about flowers *reads about history* i should become a history expert *sees a skirt* i should start sewing my own clothes *sees someone playing tennis* i should try playing tennis *reads poem* i should write my own poems *listens to music* i should learn to play an instrument or sing *sees a picture* i should get into photography *sees -
To split means to divide up, and is a term used to describe when people with PDs get stuck in intense black-and-white thinking that divides people and things into extremes like âall goodâ and âall badâ. Splitting is a defence mechanism most often described as part of BPD but is also experienced by other cluster B disorders. It is often accompanied by intense anger or distress.
There are many similarities in the way splitting looks and feels across the cluster B disorders, although what triggers our splits might be different. Splitting can be both negative (someone or something is worthless and bad) or positive (someone or something is amazing and perfect) but in both cases, the belief is extreme, unrealistic or unnuanced. Here are some potential triggers for splitting in NPD:
Making a mistake
Finding a task or new skill difficult
Being ignored or someone not paying attention to us
Being complimented
Someone confessing a crush on us
Getting a particularly good/bad grade
Receiving highly positive/negative feedback
Feeling insulted, disrespected or not being taken seriously
Being (falsely or accurately) accused of something
Being disappointedÂ
Being seen as weak or incompetent
Someone acting like they're better than us/more knowledgable etc.
Why does splitting occur?
Situations like the ones listed above can trigger a rush of intense thoughts and/or emotions in people with PDs, who often struggle with emotional regulation. Splitting is the brainâs way of trying to handle these thoughts and feelings and make sense of a potentially complex or overwhelming situation.Â
People with NPD typically struggle to recognise or tolerate grey areas or mediocrity; there is only perfect or worthless, superior or inferior, etc. A person may be seen as either perfect and special or useless and worthless. Splitting can also occur when something happens that contradicts a person with NPDâs beliefs about themselves or another, for example when someoneâs equal or chosen person disappoints or upsets them, or when a person with NPD has an experience that threatens their grandiose sense of self.Â
âHow can someone I care about or idolise do something bad or hurt me?âÂ
âHow can I have made a mistake when Iâm perfect?â
These are some of the intolerable contradictions that splitting exists to try and make sense of.
What does splitting sound like?Â
Here are some examples of a personâs worldview when splitting. In a split, these thoughts can occur towards people we normally wouldnât think this way towards, like loved ones that we care about. Mentions of homicidal and suicidal ideation; reader discretion is advised.
Splitting on oneself: I am a god amongst mortals and everyone should be grateful to be in my presence. Iâm so perfect and wonderful. It canât be my fault, I never do anything wrong. Everyone worships me. // Everyone hates me and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. I am the worst, I am so worthless and stupid. I need to just disappear. I should kill myself. Iâm a monster and I deserve to die.Â
Splitting on others: Theyâre incompetent, useless, worthless. Their lives mean nothing, they are utterly worthless. I hate them and want them to die. I want to make them suffer like theyâve made me suffer. They should kill themselves. They deserve to die. I donât care about their worthless feelings. I donât care if they suffer. I could ruin their lives and take everything from them.
Splitting on a task or activity: This is ridiculous and pointless. Anyone who actually likes this is stupid. Thereâs no point trying. Iâm quitting, Iâm just embarrassing myself. I hate doing this.
Whatâs it like when we split?
Splitting can sometimes lead to a ânarc crashâ, which is when a person with NPD loses their grandiose âfalse selfâ and feels intense distress, self-loathing, hopelessness etc. Splitting might lead to a crash if someone is splitting on themselves and sees themselves as worthless and terrible, or if the experience of splitting and the thoughts that occur alongside it feel shameful.Â
Here are some anonymous confessions from people with NPD about how they experience splitting:
â[When I split on someone,] I begin to feel contempt for them and think theyâre completely below me and want to bring them downâ
âIf my equal person disappoints me I split and devalue them... it makes it very hard to keep relationshipsâ
âItâs always on a chosen or equal person. It feels like my entire perception of them gets rotten or infected... all I see [are the things about them I hate]... Iâm afraid I will give in and hurt someone, and I donât wanna do thatâ
âMy splitting is almost exclusively targeted at myself and usually negative... even the things that usually bring me back up feel shallow and like pityâÂ
âI either crash out and... just want to destroy everything and give up. Or Iâm like angry and fuelled to change everything about myself & my life... if I am self-aware during it then I crash harder bc itâs embarrassing to meâÂ
please help me. iâm a disabled lesbian who has been surviving on the streets since the beginning of the year. iâve been forced to turn to sex work to keep my basic needs met but the men are disgusting and treat me like shit and i still spend most nights camping in garbage enclosures and eating scraps that the local food places throw me. iâve applied for section 8 and community housing but i already know that iâm going to be on the waitlist for a bit. i just want to take a shower and have a roof over my head for a few nights without having to sleep with someone to do so. if you have anything you can spare, please consider sending it my way. every little bit helps. iâm sorry for not posting more frequently, my body feels like itâs falling apart and the walk to the library is getting harder and harder on me. please keep this post circulating in my absence. thank you for reading
it's upwards of ninety degrees outside and i'm severely sunburnt from lack of shelter. the owners of the garbage enclosure i was camping out at found me and kicked me out but luckily didn't call the cops on me. i'm a little closer to the library now which is nice because they never ask me to leave but after 8pm i'm out on my own for the night. i can't do this on my own, please consider sending a few dollars my way so i can eat and get a hotel room. i'm so desperate at this point, i don't want to live like this anymore. please help me, please boost this post, spread the word, PLEASE i'm begging for any type of help. thank you for reading
given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that
all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.
People in the notes are saying "You can!" referring just to the hospital visitation part, and sure (depending). But people should have access to ALL of the benefits of marriage without needing to be married.
You should be able to add anyone you want on your health insurance plan.
You should be able to sponsor the visa of anyone you choose to move to your home country.
You should be able to name anyone you choose as the legal-from-birth legal coparent of any child you give birth to.
You should be able to apply for student aid on your own at any age.
And yes, yes, ideally healthcare and college should be free, international migration should be unrestricted, and the entire concept of legal parenthood should be rewritten from the ground up. But right now we're talking about marriage benefits.
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