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Alright! I’m pissed off again!!

I wanna make it clear that I do not read 100YQ for several reasons. However, the main reason is the way Mashima completely 180’d Grays character to make him in love with Juvia.

But I want to talk about these panels and how cruel they are.

Obviously these are reminiscent of when Juvia sacrificed herself for Gray during Alverez. I’ve spoken in a previous post about how terrifying that situation is for Gray, but I’ll bullet point it:

Gray is a character that has immense survivors guilt, and above all else, does not want anyone else to die for him.

Gray, in his mind, has lost nearly everyone important in his life because of him- His parents, Ur, Ultear, he almost killed Natsu, Erza almost died in the tower of heaven, and Lucy during the grand magic games.

Gray is self-loathing to a fault. He doesn’t believe he’s worth being cared for- much less worth dying for. He’s so willing to use iced shell not because he thinks there’s no other option, but because Gray is suicidal.

Juvia took away Grays agency in the face of his death on purpose. She intentionally killed herself to prey on Grays survivors guilt by telling Grays her life belongs to him. She made Gray responsible for her life. She then proceeded to turn herself into blood to ensure that Gray would be unable to die. (And he says the haunting line “my blood doesn’t feel like my own.” That’s horrific, and also means that in the canon he could physically feel Juvia inside him.)

After this is when we see Gray do a complete 180 when it comes to Juvia, because now he feels indebted to her because she died for him.

Now Gray is reliving this situation again. And Gray, like many victims of abuse, convinces himself he’s in love with Juvia so he can imagine he gave his consent. Anyone who’s had someone threaten harming themselves if you didn’t stay with them knows the guilt you feel. The only time in the main story we see Gray say he loves Juvia in any way is when she killed herself for him. Gray is not acting out of love- he’s acting out of guilt. And it happens again! Gray only says that he “Never noticed that he loves her this much” because her life is in danger. He doesn’t love her, but he believes that he has to.

The fact Hiro Mashima wrote Gray as an accurate depiction of abuse on complete accident will never fail to piss me off.

gratsu-prophet

Natsu Dragneel Headcanons

Natsu is Gay- genuinely look at Natsu and find me a spot where he actually likes women

Natsu is some kind of non binary- but he was raised by a dragon and doesn’t really know what gender is. He refuses to learn.

I’ve never seen a more AuDHD boy in my life

Unlike Gray, he never really learned how to mask it and doesn’t care to

He’s better at coping with his sensory issues, but bad smells and loud noises really fuck with him

Natsu is chronically underestimated, and is always doing the most to regulate himself

He has boundless energy and needs to be walked. Like he needs someone to go and watch him while he kinda just runs around to make sure he doesn’t set a forest on fire

He has EDS- this boy is always scrambling about in several ways

He hoards shit like a dragon! He’s got too many trinkets in his and Happy’s house, I mean absolutely everywhere. The living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, his room. He finds something mildly interesting and it is going home with him

He eats Gray's cigarettes to piss him off- it’s technically fire so it counts. It’s not gonna hurt him, and it gets Gray to gradually stop smoking

This boy has a canonically crazy alcohol tolerance, but he doesn’t really like the taste of most liquor so he doesn’t drink

Natsu really likes music, but he listens to the loudest, most abhorrent(/pos) noise possible. Industrial, breakcore. It helps regulate himself

Natsu has more social awareness than people think. When he’s being stupid, he’s doing it on purpose to lighten the mood and make his friends smile

He’s a lover boy. Any time someone thinks Natsu doesn’t know anything about romance and angel gets shot and dies

He really sees Gildarts as a father figure- or at least uncle figure

He’s very cuddly with any of his friends. He’s kinda like a big dog who thinks it’s a lap dog

Natsu doesn’t realize his own strength in mundane situations

Dyspraxic king. Look at him

tfw your bad ending is when you're happy with friends 🗿

#persona 5 royal #persona 5 #persona 5 akechi #goro akechi #akeshu #shuake

something something nom on those thighs

#chaeya #genshin kaeya #kaeya alberich #genshin impact #genshin fanart #genshin childe #childe tartaglia ajax #tartaglia #childe

#goro akechi #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #persona 5 akechi #p5 akechi #akeshu #shuake

wrackdecipher

Rock You Like A Hurricane, The Scorpions, and Billy Hargrove.

So this isn’t really a meta, but it’s more like Billy (and the Billy fandom’s portrayal of Billy) after you dig a little deeper into who he is as a person.

I want to talk about the show using The Scorpions 'Rock You Like A Hurricane' as Billy’s first impression introduction music. This song and the band perfectly encapsulates not just how others see Billy but how Billy enjoyers see Billy. Enjoy!

dirtbagdefender

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Dacre Montgomery as Billy Hargrove STRANGER THINGS 3.04 The Sauna Test

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DARK! BILLY HARGROVE Stranger Things (2016 –present) season 3

shiphappensmate

Something that will always remain in my mind

In the basketball scene, when Billy is all over Steve

He pushes him around

Shows off

Then immediately turns to look at him

Look how he looks so freaking proud of himself at having Steve's attention

Then of course

Nancy comes in

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El, Billy and his mother — STRANGER THINGS S3 EP8

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Billy Hargrove ~ S3 Chapter 1 - Suzie, do you copy? The beginning of the end

more

shieldofiron

Being penis delirious was invented in 1984 by Billy Hargrove

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DACRE MONTGOMERY as BILLY HARGROVE Stranger Things (2016 - present) 2.08

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idk there’s just something about the way that anyone who shows Billy Hargrove an ounce of compassion gets punished for it that makes feel Very Not Good.

Max expresses genuine fear and concern for him from the moment she realizes that something is genuinely wrong. she is the one lingering, watching him even after her friends have gone to set their plan in motion, praying for him to not be flayed. she’s the one at the window of the sauna room, the person that Billy cries to. he begs her for help, and she tries so hard to give it, to reassure him. she’s the one pleading with him, trying desperately to remind him of who he is, doing everything she can to break him free from the Mind Flayer and what does she get? he dies a horrible, gruesome death in front of her and she is plagued by survivor’s guilt, sinks into a depression, is uprooted from her second home as her mother crawls into the bottom of a bottle. she admits to being suicidal!!! and then she gets killed because her grief and pain marked her as a prime target for the same evil that took her brother away.

Heather is the only person at the pool to recognize that something is wrong with Billy. she sees that something isn’t right, she hears him in distress. she comes to his aid and she asks how to help him, and she, too, gets killed for her trouble. her only crime was having empathy for him.

Eleven isn’t an outlier here!! she reaches out to Billy repeatedly, gets hurt multiple times because of it, and after she is finally able to make a connection with him, when she finally finds the thread that pulls him free from the Mind Flayer’s control, she is forced to watch him sacrifice himself for her. that shit is traumatizing!! and after all of that she loses her dad, too!! sure, Hopper is alive, but Eleven doesn’t know that until months later, so she goes through this traumatic experience and immediately begins grieving her father.

even Susan gets the short end of the stick. she was stuck in an abusive household, but in the one scene we see of her and Billy together, she tries to get Neil to back off of Billy. it’s a small act and it doesn’t work but it’s there and what does she get? her stepson dies. we don’t know what Max meant by the “bad fights” Susan and Neil had, but we can guess. she loses her stepson, and her marriage, and her home. and, after everything, she almost loses her daughter, too.

and as much as I hate the Karen storyline, she almost gets the same treatment when she attempts to talk to him at the pool. in fact, it’s Billy himself who saves her from that fate, who protects her by telling her to leave him alone. if she hadn’t listened, the Mind Flayer would have made him attack her, too. you get the sense that if she cared more, that if this was really about Billy’s feelings, she would have been hurt or killed, just like the others.

every person to show Billy Hargrove the slightest semblance of care gets punished for it and I Do Not Like That One Bit.

hargrove-mayfields

Something that I think gets overlooked a lot is Billy’s car.

We all know it’s a beautiful car and that he loves it and what not, but the specific choice of a Camaro is intriguing to me. It could’ve been any muscle car out there, and they chose a Camaro. Why?

Personally I think it’s because of the Camaro’s tag line. The ‘79 z28 was advertised with the tag line “From people who know what performance is all about.” I think that’s kinda neat. Apply it to Billy since it is his car after all, and we can look at it with the meaning the ad intended, that he’s got to worry about being the best. On the court, being a good son and role model for his step-sister, the whole good screams thing, it’s all a competition to prove his worth. But we can look at it too as a theatrical performance. Driving that car and living the way he does because it gives others the impression that he’s masculine and tough enough that the vulnerability underneath is hidden. Like he’s acting.

Looking beyond just the ‘79 ads even though that’s the model he has, there are two other tag lines that seem pretty significant to me.

From the ‘96 z28 and race car ad there’s one that says “Oh look, he’s got his father’s attitude.” I know that’s way after the show is set but it could’ve still been part of making the choice of a Camaro specifically because that’s like, very representative of Billy as a character. They showed us with the scene in his bedroom that the way he behaves is to please his father, to the extent that he acts like him towards Max. Which conveniently is exactly what that tag line is about, and also ties back in to the previously mentioned ‘performance’.

In a ‘97 z28 ad there’s another that says “If everyone owned one, maybe we could’ve prevented disco.” Disco was a queer scene, that’s very obviously (and disgustingly) saying that men wouldn’t have been feminine and gay if they had a muscle car, specifically a Camaro z28 like Billy has. I mean, that’s pretty darn self explanatory for a queer-coded character, but in case it’s not clear, he drives a car that’s supposed to make him more like his father, and help him ‘perform’ like he’s masculine enough to not be perceived as gay. Whether or not you believe Billy is gay, it’s still relevant because Neil calls him a queer right before he hits him to degrade him.

I don’t know, maybe I’m looking too far into it, but that’s seems pretty deliberate a choice to me.

strangerthings5theories

I love the deeper reading of Billy's car 💖💖 I do think the Camaro is supposed to tell us a lot about him. The show deliberately turns it into a symbol for him (examples here), and the fact that it's loud, rough, and flashy, but ultimately inexpensive, tells us who he wants to be - within his working class limitations.

He's trying to prove to the world - and to Neil - that he's not a pussy. He's faster, louder, stronger, and more manly than his peers. BUT... it's all an act. Inside, he's still the kid we saw on the beach, hungry for softness and love.

I disagree that this says anything about his sexuality. The specific connection to disco is a reach. It's definitely true that he's desperate to prove his manliness. However, he'd feel this desperation whether he's straight or queer. Neil doesn't tolerate any softness whatsoever; that's a "feminine" trait, and we all know what he thinks about women. Billy would respond to that by violently squashing any parts of himself he perceives as soft, no matter what his sexuality is.

bowiebond

I’m sorry but this scene will always get to me.

He is being purposely antagonist, reckless, music blaring and foot heavy on the pedal but his entire demeanor screams that he doesn’t care. Not in a cool way, not in a cruel way, but in a “so what?” way. Billy is a 100% ready to crash and burn and take everyone with him because he loathes their happiness, their freedom, the rules and expectations he’s constricted by. Billy puts every people in one of two categories. The Hated and the Desired.

He’s only charming to those he can use, who he wants, but outside of that, everyone else are used as fuel to make his hatred, his jealousy, his anger, burn brighter. When you are so full of hate and can only establish a persons worth on how they can serve your reputation or help your survival, you stop feeling anything else.

You stop feeling happy, you’re constantly irritated and forced to put on a face and when that faces drops, there is only the ever-growing apathy.

Billy doesn’t care that he’s scaring Max, that he’s speeding, or that he’s going to hit those kids. There’s two outcomes. He offs himself with this stupid stunt and takes his bitch step-sister with him, or Max stops him and he gets to feel the rush of adrenaline explode inside his veins like heroin.

Billy does not care which outcome happens.

He’s seventeen, apathetic to it all, and ready to accept whatever life throws at him, even if it’s death. And god, haven’t most mentally ill teens felt that at least once in their adolescence.

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