Unfortunately, I Exist

It’s tragic, really.

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Fun fact:

I don't think I'm built to be a modern college student. I'm meant to be a young woman in the Victorian era who's not allowed to formally attend school and learn science and math because they're men's fields but steals books and learns anyways and becomes really good and writes under a pseudonym and frequently causes chaos but never gets caught because I'm really good at playing "sweet, innocent, and dumb"-

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Hearing my alarm sound when I’m out and about generates the most visceral reaction from me.

Like I’m just minding my business and going about my day, but suddenly I hear my alarm and I’m petrified. Frozen in an existential paralysis, wondering if I’m truly awake or if I’m dreaming. The sheer anxiety of questioning what it is I’m missing, who might be missing me as I drift farther and farther into this version of reality that I have dreamed, that grows more tangible day by day.

And then the person shuts off their alarm and I remember that I’m in line at a Walmart.

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Dolly Levi from Hello Dolly is the BLUEPRINT for gaslight, gatekeep girlboss.

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Another thought.

The main Southpark boys and the song “Life Itself” by the Glass Animals.

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One thought.

Stan Marsh and “Freeze your Brain” from Heathers.

Thank you, that is all.

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Y’all ever get unreasonably excited reading a very cheesy fanfic? Like the mean boss x worker who is too tired and not paid enough to deal with his crap? And then the mean boss finally realizes they maybe don’t hate the firecracker employee and that they maybe even like them? Or the slowburn that finally realizes that they like each other? Or the friends to lovers?

Cause I get like that. I don’t care if this is my fifth time reading it, I will still giggle and kick my feet because THE TROPES ARE TROPING.

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Another year, another chance to be an even bigger disappointment

What a thrilling life we live

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Badly Summarizing the Morals of Stories:

The moral of the movie Edward Scissorhands is “Don’t trust teenage boys.”

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Why do I write the most poetic stuff about random things. There are past examples but like the most recent one was this, and I guarantee you will not guess what I wrote it about-

There are still lands the revolution has not touched. These are the lands in which I dwell, the lands rich in honey sweet teas and carpeted in velvet, the seas flourishing with expanses of reefs and creatures untouched by grief. It is pitiable that the rest of the continents have destroyed themselves when there are such riches to abound, free of thievery and corruption. Alas, to each their own, even if they shall choose the bitterness of bile and sharp tang of blood in their mouths.

THIS WAS WRITTEN ABOUT DABLOONS. THE RANDOM LITTLE CURRENCY THAT’S BEEN GOING AROUND TIKTOK WITH THE CATS. I SENT MY FRIEND A DABLOON MEME AND SHE SAID

“Didn’t the dabloons trend end with the dabloon revolution?”

AND APPARENTLY I WAS POSSESSED BY A DABLOONS CAT AND THEY GHOST WROTE THIS THROUGH ME-

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Growing up is understanding all the “difficult” math from shows you used to watch.

They’re not nonsense numbers and letters anymore and I hate it-

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Me when a series I like is back with another season so I can finally be relevant again when I post about it:

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Not gunna lie, I feel like most psychological experiments would have exponentially more entertaining data if you conducted it on or with a Gen Z kid. The results would probably be wildly inaccurate for the rest of the population, but hey it’d be hilarious.

Like for real, the Elevator Conformity experiment?

Elevator Groupthink: An Ingenious 1962 Psychology Experiment in Conformity

What vintage Candid Camera can teach us about the cultural role of the Occupy movement.

Do that on a Gen Z kid and chances are that they’ll just start blasting music and twerking or recite the Bee Movie script or just start reading fanfic on their phone or live tweet or snap about the situation.

Yes, I do say this as a part of Gen Z. Like fr, I would love to see the conclusions people reach about an experiment if a Gen Z kid was a test subject because I know that I would do some of the wildest stuff and I’m pretty sure that the data someone got from an experiment conducted on me would be absolutely skewed and completely inaccurate-

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Witch hunters when the woman they bound and tossed into the water actually sinks:

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I think it’s hypocritical for the U.S. government not to accept documents completed in gel pen.

Like, can you honestly tell me that Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, or even John Hancock would not have chosen to use a colorful, glittery gel pen to sign the Declaration of Independence if they had the option???

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Peak child craving academic validation is getting a burst of serotonin when you hear the little noise from when you get a problem right on Khan Academy-

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Y’all ever have epiphanies about your coping mechanisms and habits and mental health while talking about some of the dumbest things with your friends?

…no?

GREAT CAUSE I TOTALLY DON’T DO THAT EITHER, NO SIR-

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Dang, guess I have another obsession.

Welp, time to make this my life until I either inevitably burnout from this fixation or wait for it to overtake my every waking moment-