You will not be prepared for this man’s voice. But you will be delighted

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@parttwotriestowrite
You will not be prepared for this man’s voice. But you will be delighted
do kids these days know about stone
I understand that they largely do not
I’m applying all the contexts and meanings I can think of, but I’m thinking ... maybe I do not know.
You’ve probably heard “pillow princess” used derisively to mean someone who wants to receive sexual acts but not perform them on others.
Imagine that without the negative connotations, and then imagine the inverse. Stone is historically lesbian terminology for someone who wants to touch their partner sexually, but not to be touched in return. The mirrored image of the pillow princess. Distinct from “top/bottom” but there are similarities, and not necessarily linked with butch/femme. Sometimes “stone” is used for both the exclusive giver/receiver.
(It gets extra confusing when “stone butch/femme” is used to mean “very butch/very femme”, especially when plenty of very butch/femme lesbians and trans folk are not sexually stone.)
the infamous "futch scale" has done irreparable damage to lesbian and stone/high terminology so i'm here to say that:
"stone" is not lesbian exclusive. it tends to be common with lesbians due to traumas that are common for us. I think it should be a term used more freely the ace community because it's been very helpful in my experience.
"high" (ie. high femme) is traditionally what we call a pillow princess. pillow princesses aren't lazy or selfish, they're the counterpart to stone and if that's not what you want in a partner that's fine! but stop being rude and mean to them! if you mean someone is a selfish lover then say that and leave the princesses out of it!
stone generally refers to the giver and high usually refers to the receiver.
stoned butch and high femme <—weed joke
there's two types of conspiracy theories in american culture:
blatant antisemitism
not actually a conspiracy theory the cia really admitted to doing this in declassified documents that are publicly available but the average american is so brainwashed by nationalist fervor that they refuse to believe it and call it a conspiracy even though, and i cannot stress this enough, the government literally admits to doing it
bigfoot
alpha bros will always pick lions and wolves to superimpose their "I'm so badass I need no one" memes on as if those aren't the two animals most famous for having a buddy system and excellent group cooperation.
biologically accurate lion memes should be a thing I think
that last one is also true of alpha bros tbh
OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?
I JUST
GUAM?
IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM
KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST
“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
12/27, 8:37PM CT
ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM
12/28, 12:18PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***
12/28, 10:22PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY
GO COOKIES GO
@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY
lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and
12/30, 12:39AM CT
@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper
holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE
The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season
THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP
COOKIES ACQUIRED
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey
how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes
SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????
AND
IT’S
IT’S
IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-
I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED
Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks
Its not even an in-game feature
Oh my god it’s back
H O W
I’ve had this sort of thing happen.
At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.
I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”
No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.
I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.
sometimes i forget this comic exists and then i find it again and want to happy-cry
holy shit
#posts that would kill former us senator joseph mccarthy where he stood (via @a-really-bad-decision)
The part 2 where you team up to fight capitalism
This is not nsfw but it somehow feels like it ought to be
↑what I mean when I say “how far can you squirt”
choosing breeds of Christianity like do you prefer austere and minimalist antisemitism and homophobia or ornate and baroque antisemitism and homophobia, or perhaps Russian antisemitism and homophobia?
In love with the usage of “breeds” here like
Catholicism owners: This is an 85th generation purebred system of antisemitism and homophobia, we feed it only the finest organic grass-fed teleological proofs for the existence of God
Protestantism owners: This is Luther he likes bigotry
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read
Link here
Glad to see this movie getting the recognition it deserves. Hard to believe there’s a generation who’s grown up not seeing it .
Ebenezer Scrooge: Goes outside
500 Muppets: There goes Mr Asshole! There Goes Mr Bitch!
DOOMED, JEFF
YOU’RE DOOMED FOR ALL TIME