hey everyone i’m unbelievably tired of discourse so i’m just gonna say what’s on my mind. y’all can shove it if you disagree i do not give an absolute fuck anymore.
the dysphoria debate is not going to go anywhere.
we’ve found every fact there is, every source to back us up, every firsthand experience explaining why it is so fucking important to be inclusive, and every single fucking time we get the same insults and youtube videos and weird transphobic articles from 2013 that say nothing about dysphoria. it’s become such a war of “Real” vs “Fake” Trans and it exists nowhere but online and every single fucking person i’ve tried speaking about it irl agrees that the entire thing is nonsense.
they are not going to stop. truscum have found every excuse under the sun to misgender and invalidate anybody that isn’t perfectly passing or has the resources to fully medically transition. No, Not All Of Them. shut the fuck up. i know that not every single truscum and transmed in existence takes every opportunity they have to exclude people from the community, but the mentality is inherently transphobic. the argument is hurting people. the entire anti-nonbinary mentality has hurt me personally so fucking much, and there’s absolutely no end in sight. my only hope at this point is that hopefully one day these people grow up and realize they don’t have their entire lives to spend being nasty.
i am absolutely sick and tired of worrying about who is interacting with me online because they might find something about me to invalidate and decide to attack me for it. i’m afraid all the time of somebody with a bigger platform than mine finding me and deciding that i deserve to have slurs and insults thrown my way. every single time i log into one of my discourse accounts i just get so fucking tired. and i’m lucky, i have a relatively small audience across all my accounts. i don’t get attacked nearly as often as some others do, i haven’t personally been shown under the spotlight by kalvin and his fans, i haven’t had to deal with threats in quite a while. but at this point it’s just an echo chamber of us trying to get our sources to them and them trying to apply their personal experiences to everybody.
it will not stop. they aren’t going to stop insisting that being trans is inherently an awful thing. they will not stop attacking and harassing any trans person with differing beliefs. i’ve tried for months to just get a single person to read my sources, to come into a debate with an open mind, and in return i’ve been called some of the most disgusting things i’ve ever heard another person say. as soon as you have the guts to slap the label “tucute” onto your beliefs it puts a gigantic target on your back, and at any moment someone might decide to fire at it. the tumblr and instagram truscum communities are some of the most negative and hateful places i’ve ever seen.
i’ve tried quitting discourse. when a few posts on my old tumblr blew up i deactivated it because i was afraid. i haven’t let myself be honest with my identity or my presentation because i’m afraid of the harassment it might bring, despite being dysphoric. i want so badly to be out of it all, to worry instead about the transphobia that is so rampant outside of discourse. i wish i could focus on supporting young trans people coming out for the first time, to assure them that not everything has to be suffering. i wish i could say that a single person has bothered to listen to what i have to say and the sources i have to back up why i think the way i do. but i can’t, and it isn’t looking like that’s going to change any time soon.
i’m tired and jaded and upset, i have not made friends and every interaction i’ve had with a truscum or exclusionist has just made me more afraid to exist freely in the real world. the satire accounts, the “flop” accounts, the terfs trying to mask their beliefs under the guise of being a truscum or a transmedicalist, the insults and threats and pure hatred that pour out of these people is fucking shocking. i am fucking sick of it and i can’t get out because i get so fucking angry seeing these things directed at people, young people, questioning people, just for considering that their gender identity might be different than the one they were assigned at birth. it is exhausting having to ask every trans person i come into contact with their stance on the debate in order to feel safe. we are a community. stop pitting people against one another to appeal to a cisnormative society. just stop.
