fucky stuff

mostly just stuff that made me laugh

[chrisweedpiano]

one of my favorite posts of all time

[oupyfactory]

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

[perception-filter]

[linguisticparadox]

One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 😐 and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that

[batbetbitbotbut]

#he still knew immediately who I was which was deeply funny to me bc I was 7-8 years old in 1997 #"yes that is my daughter who was apparently born in her 20s"

[laterkiss]

happy pride to my favourite post on reddit

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[tothechaos]

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

[fox-bright]

do not taste plants if you don't know what they are

do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet

hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro

[fox-bright]

And today, we have this winner:

I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...

In comments, they continue:

and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:

So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!

[fox-bright]

YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

[lastoneout]

[medievaljournalist]

tried shifting to a timeline where the ussr won the cold war & within minutes a team of cia telecommandos subdued my astral body & removed my ability to imagine or dream

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

“oooh i need junji ito to write me an essay” okay so youre a little baby so youre a little baby waby who needs mommys help

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

not junji ito. where did he come from. this is supposed to say chatgpt

[kla1991]

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

If graphic design is your passion then !!! GET OUT !!! 🚫🚫👎‼️🥶🥶🚫

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[future-crab]

So I follow N. D. Stevenson (comics writer and animator, most famous for Nimona and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) and his husband Lee Ostertag (also a comics writer and animator) on Instagram. When I started following them, they were both publicly presenting as women, and then a few years ago N. D. came out as transmasc nonbinary, and then earlier this year Lee also came out as transmasc. Anyway this is all setup to say that Lee had the chance to make the funniest post of all time and he took it:

Absolutely iconic.

[fearoftheminotaur]

I want to throw in that part of the context behind this meme was N.D. talking about how he sometimes gets hatemail for marrying a man as a former lesbian, and how many people seem to think he divorced his wife.

I have not managed to find anyone who thinks that in the wild, but it is so damn funny.

[natequarter]

[ID: a Bluesky thread between ND Stevenson and Lee Ostertag. Stevenson's original post reads, "Latest strain of out-of-touch Instagram comment has been ugh of COURSE you'd end up with a man and like, TAKE IT UP WITH HIM HE'S THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO TURN INTO ONE". Ostertag's reply reads, "Omg are they saying I pass 💅 ". Stevenson's response reads, "LEE HELP YOURE DOING TOO GOOD A JOB THEY THINK I DUMPED MY WIFE FOR YOU". /end ID]

[harperhug]

We’ve found the LGBT.

[vergak]

I'm a hard pillow hard mattress man. I need reliability. I don't want something to change into a completely different shape when I touch it, that's lying and I don't like liars.

[vergak]

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

My signature is worth negative 2 dollars and 82 cents.

[captaindibbzy]

[nycswebhead]

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

[nycswebhead]

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine