Many thing

Hey howdy don't get rowdy // Sam, 26, pan, She/They // 26y/o American? You know what that means!! *becomes uninsured* // We like hockey now. Apparently.

[pbmonkeybutt]

Art gets reblogged to @pbmonkeybutt-likes-art go follow me there

[lamaison]

Legal Eagle asking "are you covered to have an open flame in the studio?" and a producer worriedly yelling "we're not!" as Ally goes to light a bong they filled with real whiskey is maybe the hardest I have ever laughed at an episode of Game Changer.

[ambassadorquark]

television exists so that lesser known actors can be cast in random mid to decent shows nobody watches where they will deliver astonishing performances potentially superior to anything winning any kind of award for no reason at all

[gaygoatshane]

ilya promising children cash if they win knowing he's gonna let them win and then asking shane for money because he doesn't have his wallet. he wasn't even an annoying husband yet but he was letting shane know his potential

[virginshane]

man was auditioning

[fangorn-forest]

summer sufferers poll: would you rather have…

the ability to repel all bugs so they can’t touch/bite/sting you

the ability to always be at a comfortable temperature while outside

no chafing ever again

Remaining time: 4 days 19 hours

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[hollanderthoughts]

I hooked up with ilya at the club, we went back to my place, solid 8/10, he has my number if he wants to hook up again when he’s in town. is that the situation with you?

Sorry I’m focused on 8/10 …………………. Maybe he wasn’t giving it his all with you? idk that’s crazy. Or could you just not be that good at throwing it back? Idk. That’s crazy. You’re crazy.

[hollanderthoughts]

hayden keeps telling me its so awesome to have a captain who appreciates the sober lifestyle and im like thats great man but i dont think where i go when im sucking dick and cock counts as being “sober” to be completely honest like idk if it’s the taste or just the weight of it or whatever but I’m like. Not on this planet anymore.

[roycohn]

will never forget the day of the charlie kirk shooting bc i found out from my direct report who just doubled over laughing at his computer suddenly and i was like what's up and he said "charlie kirk just got shot?" and i went and told my 85 year old work friend and HE was like "i don't care, he had it coming" (this man is a franciscan friar btw) (a literal man of the cloth) (you'd think they'd be the only people who morally have to be opposed to political violence but he was like "as far as my morals are concerned..... i don't want the guy who did it to get the death penalty" 🤷‍♂️) and then i had to go to ketamine therapy where i got high as fuck bc i had a little late summer cold and had taken a sudafed a bit beforehand and saw a vision of tilda swinton basically agreeing that political violence is fine and i afterward went to mcdonald's where they were playing all of sabrina carpenter's man's best friend album with literally none of the swears bleeped. and i felt like alice in wonderland the whole time.

[hutsonwoolyums]

Hey, do you remember when they got to the cottage and Shane carried Ilya’s bag inside and then when they got inside he was all nervous and tentative and rambling about cokes and his well and standing so sweetly waiting to be kissed which of course Ilya understood, so then they kiss and almost knock over a lamp on their way to the couch where Shane is careful not to hurt Ilya’s ribs and Ilya’s got his hand down Shane’s pants because he wants to fuck, please but Shane is like wait I’ll be quick and then Ilya’s like me too and we get the most adorable “really? really? 😄” from Shane and then he lays out the emotional stakes for their two weeks at the cottage and Ilya agrees to try to be honest for him and then Ilya wants to see his room and they’re being so playful with each other even when their lips are drawn together like magnets and Shane teases Ilya about the en suite bathroom as they walk toward Shane’s their bedroom and then Shane pretends to be a bellboy and calls Ilya “sir” so Ilya pushes Shane onto the bed and pins him down and they’re all happy giggly smiling with each other and Shane just goes limp from being under Ilya and Ilya starts to kiss down Shane’s throat but then Shane’s like “wait” and Ilya does but he looks so confused and his hair is already messed up and when he realizes Shane’s going to close the blinds he’s like no way, I am fucking you in broad daylight I want to see everything and then he’s got Shane backed up against the window and he’s kissing down Shane’s neck again and their hands are all grabby and Shane’s going limp and his head makes a thunk sound against the glass before he gets on his knees for Ilya and then Ilya’s hands are gripping at nothing against the window and he just rests his head there while he watches Shane blow him?

I liked that. 🙂‍↕️

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

imagine if castiel (godstiel?) single-handedly created the omegaverse in real life because he's sick of dean's weird hangups about his sexuality. cas just omega-fies himself and is like. well. see. this way you are still heterosexual.

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

loving the additions 🥰🥰🥰

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

knotting IS a cas kink btw that's why omegaverse is like that. it's like in that video i posted earlier today — coochie grabs, coochie takes, coochie doesn't wanna give back you know what I mean?

[ryan-sometimes]

LMAOOOO

[furnishedfurnace]

"I have a problem with my trans son. Not because he's trans, but because he inhaled all our food like fucking Kirby."

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*sandwich voice* the world is vast and beautiful and i have a sandwich

[expertmistake]

*wiggles fingers* balicazam!! Your sandwich is now yarn

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

idk what you did and normally i wouldn't complain but my sandwich has straight up vanished as if by dark magic

im not even joking my sandwich is gone and i am fucking pissed

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

motherFUCKER i bet i lost it on the railway tracks

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok im on a train right now. so what happened is I was rushing with my precariously-stacked luggage with my sandwich on the top. and unfortunately it was a vertical sandwich (baguette) and i didn't tie the plastic baggie shut. fucker slid right out of its wrapper

somewhere in this train station is a single perfect naked sandwich lying peaceably on the ground

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS RIGHT i lost it wheeling my luggage (jostling) across the tracks. i can see it from the fucking window. it's just sitting there, taunting me

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the train leaves in 5 min, I'm already in my seat, and as stated the sandwich is lying buttnaked on the train tracks.

i still kinda wanna run and get it tho

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fuck it im gonna

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

GOT MY FUCKEN SAMMICH

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it's always "gaud i thought you were doing a bit" and "gaud did you seriously risk missing a train & losing your luggage over a dirt sandwich" and "gaud don't eat a sandwich off the ground." never "how was the dirt sandwich, did you enjoy the dirt sandwich, was the dirt sandwich good???"

[fionasapplepie]

shane loves ilya no matter what but i think he starts to miss his very broken English. like for funsies shane would start to say all these complex words to look at ilya's cute little confused face but instead ilya is replying and understanding. like noooo sexy you're supposed to be illiterate

[ottawasintaurs]

ilya “my husband said no” rozanov and shane “can my husband come” hollander really are the codependency couple of all time

[my-2nd-account]

I'm all for Ilya picking up Shane in a sexual scenario. H o w e v e r, I do believe Shane is the one picking Ilya up in any other context. Ilya fell asleep while they were watching tv? Shane is carrying him to bed. Ilya refusing to go somewhere and stomping his foot and being stubborn? Shane throws him over his shoulder and carries him kicking and screaming. Ilya hurt his ankle while they were playing football at the cottage? Shane is carrying him inside and coddling his ass (he's fine but he's acting like he just got shot).

Which is why myshane is the one carrying myilyushka into the house after their wedding with the Pike kids.