Take things one day at a time.

Christina Marie

[thememedaddy]

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[cykelops]

another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”

[cykelops]

found it

[ferrettaur]

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that

[skoople]

another heavy handed symbolism moment: my mom has a potted sunflower in the kitchen. because it is a sunflower, it keeps turning towards the light from the window. my mother keeps rotating it so it faces inward because she wants "to see its beautiful petals and have it really brighten up the space!" . the sunflower is visibly wilting .

[imperialinquisition]

are you going to tell her or

[skoople]

her masters degree is in biology

[acidgirl]

never shouldve smoked that shit, now i’m on the july 17th 1995 cover of newsweek

[acidgirl]

[peduin]

Happy 30th birthday bisexuality

[fluentisonus]

Anything That Moves 1996 issue #10 cover

[malibuklaus]

[galadriel1010]

Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.

[transcyberism]

I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.

[markv5]

Вставай, скоро молоко раздавать будут!…

[sergeantbabylegs-deactivated201]

[ranma-official]

the translation is significantly more Soviet in tone than the original, which is great

[naamahdarling]

I lost a needle I liked in my pincushion so I decided to get a strong magnet and see if I could pull it back out.

I pulled out 68.

I very rarely sew.

This was my grandmother's pincushion. How many were hers?

[autisticnightfury]

Finding a 68 needles in a haystack pincushion

[naamahdarling]

Where you would expect to find needles!

AND YET.

(I jibbled out some more so we are at 71 and I can feel at least two more in there by sweeping the magnet across. Now hunting for my strongest one.)

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

tomato is perfec t size for put needle inside very soft and comfort needle

[featherwurm]

A friend suggested 'a mimic that eats needles' and I got the most vivid mental picture.

[sentient-tent]

This is Tie, she is going to eat all of the notes

[sentient-tent]

reblog to feed her notes

[elodieunderglass]

How is she doing this

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[iamthelowercase]

Hello, tumblr! I saw something on here the other day that worried me, so I decided to Do Science about it. But I can't do it alone: I need your help to build the dataset!

Here's what I need you to do:

If you see a post with a "mature content" label, and it's 2026, DM me a link to the post.

Yes, that's really it.

I am hoping to collect several thousand such posts, so that I have a decent sized dataset. I do not care what the post is about; if it's labeled as "mature content", I want to add it to my dataset.

If I get 10,000 posts in my dataset before August 31st 2026, I will post my preliminary findings then. I won't feel comfortable calling my findings "settled" before 2027, unless I get over 50,000 posts.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Me when I'm struggling to interpret instructions in a knitting pattern

[great-and-small]

Texting the ecologist friend after she gave birth to ask “on a scale of kangaroo to spotted hyena how bad was it”

[alterac]

Hold on I need to look something up.

[talesfromtreatment]

You are going to regret that. My preemptive condolences.

[ostolero]

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

[sayaratyriea]

and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details

[mortimermcmirestinks]

(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[dontmean2bepoliticalbut]