oh alright

any/all

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[dogpuppy]

[oneheadtoanother]

[tall]

[slowspinningredemption]

incredible things happening on reddit right now

[br1xida]

Bro showers in a concept location of silent hill

[slavicafire]

why don't you present yourself more femininely?

fat medieval hedgehog

[flagellant]

cool cool cool i need to start raising funds to flee the country immediately.

[flagellant]

anyway hi i'm a mentally disabled homeless addict and the latest executive order isn't looking so great for me so if y'all could help spare some funds so i can fuckin flee the country asap that'd be much obliged

[flagellant]

yall i try not to ask for too much aid beyond the occasional grocery money thing but like. if you could reblog this even if you cant help otherwise it'd mean a lot to me

[dogpuppy]

[bananacockroach]

Hit the hay so hard last night that i found the needle

[pencilgore]

Missing my first child being born because dutch bros is giving out cockrings that say 'stay awesome grindqueen!' and their two locations in my town have lines that wrap into every single street within a two mile radius

[infectiouspiss]

i may have made a mistake by jerking it a little too hard last night because turns out the cervix softens up before a period to let the slime out easier. and i might have beaten her up just a touch

[pencilgore]

Straight up jorkin it soft n slimy style

[segamascott]

[ayeforscotland]

Roughly 6 months in and the US is already at the ‘full blown concentration camps’ stage.

[ayeforscotland]

The scum of the earth have found this post. Block the far right and move on.

[monsieurenjlolras]

This is your regularly scheduled reminder that "Life finds a way" is about the dinosaurs becoming transgender

[micromentality]

🧵 borrow-error Follow

ugh this human i’m living with is torturing me, they keep leaving fresh cut strawberries RIGHT outside the wall entrance on the countertop

🧵 borrow-error Follow

the strawberries are right there. i could just grab a slice and be back in the wall before they even knew what happened

🧵 borrow-error Follow

fuck it. i’m getting a strawberry

🌱 secret-world-of-rickie Follow

Good luck, op! Be careful!

🪤 mousehole-surfers Follow

hell yessss get that strawberry!!!! 🍓

🪡 live-by-the-needle Follow

hey, op it’s been a few hours is there an update?

👟 beansightings-updates Follow

guys it’s been a couple days i think that human fucking killed them

📌 pest-you-cant-control Follow

RIP error hopefully you got to try those strawberries before you were caught 🙏

🧵 borrow-error Follow

hey all! still alive! sorry for disappearing, the human is actually really nice! it just gave me the strawberry slices. like obviously we should keep being wary of humans, but this one is super chill

and yes, they tasted amazing 🤤

🏚️ watchingfromthewalls Follow

you fucked the human didn’t you

🧵 borrow-error Follow

of course not??? you think i don’t have an ounce of respect for my species?? you think i’d disgrace all borrowerkind by letting myself be manhandled and degraded into some toy for a giants pleasure??? it shared its food with me and we talked for awhile, as equals, and then we parted ways as friends. that’s it. god there are some freaks on this site

📎 hook-me-up Follow

you absolutely fucked the human

[micromentality]

🧵 borrow-error Follow

kill your self

🧵 borrow-error Follow

also im not a fae it literally says borrower in my username

🧵 borrow-error Follow

ur just jealous cuz i fucked a human

[comedownstairsandsayhello]

2027: Wizards of the Coast and the American Psychological Association collaborate on the D&DSM, 6th Edition, widely regarded as the worst thing ever published

[crabussy]

hi gang. reminder that we are some of the best sweaters in the animal kingdom (second only to equines) allowing us to stay cool and keep moving in hot weather. we have 10 times the density of sweat glands compared to other great apes.

we are ALSO insanely good at smelling rain (specifically geosmin, found in the soil and activated by rain) with the ability to smell 10 parts per trillion. this is speculated to have helped our ancestors survive!

we ALSO have absolutely batshit diets compared to most other animals. caffeine and chocolate are completely toxic to most animals but we can eat it without even feeling sick. even avocados are severely toxic to many animals to the point where it can be fatal to eat, but humans love it!!!

we are ALSO the best endurance runners ON EARTH out of ANY other species. we beat horses in endurance running. you know, the animals that gradually evolved away most of their toes in order to be the best runners?? yeahhh.

and to top it all off. our lifespan is unusually long for our species' weight/mass. typically, the bigger a species is, the longer its average lifespan (e.g. domestic mice live for 1-3 years, whales can live over 200) but we're very small for how long our average lifespan is. big cats like tigers live around 14-15 years, brown bears 25 years, yet here we are expected to live around 75-85 years. that is NUTS.

humans as a species are so extremely cool. it's not just our intellect that makes us amazing. we may not be the fastest or the strongest in the animal kingdom but we're super cool in many other ways. next time you sweat you can go wow!!! humans are so cool I'm able to keep moving because of my absolutely insane number of sweat glands! thank you evolution!