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Keni
will byers stan first human second
Misplaced Lens Cap
dirt enthusiast

oozey mess
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
RMH
One Nice Bug Per Day
AnasAbdin
almost home
art blog(derogatory)

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taylor price
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Kiana Khansmith
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Jules of Nature
Acquired Stardust
Peter Solarz
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@pepperparabellum
Hello. Here's my shit: { AO3 } { ABOUT } { FIC/WIPs LIST } You can message me at any time, with anything. You can give me fic/writing suggestions/requests as well.
āAnd then things got a little unpleasant for a few years.ā
āDude, you were literally kidnapped and locked in a basement.ā
āYeah, and that was unpleasant.ā
sorry but once you notice how often ppl use a southern accent as shorthand for being unintelligent you can never unsee it. classism is baked so deeply and why are you acting like anyone who talks the way my grandfather talks is stupid.
Hazbin Hotel really drove home for me how little I have in common with a North American WASP.
I didn't learn anything new, but this damned franchise scooped up all those conveniently scattered awarenesses inside me, piled them very uncomfortably together, and set this shit on fire.
Everything around this show is depressing and weird. From its failed attempt at religious deconstruction and its internalized queerphobia, to evoking old prejudices I thought I'd never see in media again, down to its double white consciousness and a subconscious, fatal perspective on how to handle Skid Row-like issues. Even the critiques of the show run on those same principles anyway. It's kinda like watching white people calling other white people white, but far less fun.
It exposes so much by outwardly being barely anything: characters, plot, worldbuilding, those aren't even there, but holy fuck, aint the whole white America (with some token people, no offense to them, but I have opinions) on full display. I mean spiritually white, and I never thought I'd say 'spiritually white,' but this show really inspired me to live my truth lol. I mean it, it radicalized me to hate American mainstream media like my biggest enemy, and it was my enemy the whole time, I just wasn't paying attention, and this shit just blasted me in the face.
I feel like I'm from another planet. And it's not even an internet thing, I didn't come to know of this show via being terminally online.
It's inescapable.
Somehow Vivziepop managed to radicalize me more than Malcolm X. It feels insane to say, but it's true.
Vivzie is exactly the white liberal that is not your friend. To say the least.
Thank you, Vivziepop, for reminding me that for some I'll forever be a [slur/s of choice] on a chain. Dingly dangly for the profit and entertainment. Cool. I feel very painfully and acutely represented. Please serve me more rape and chains uncritically. Sit on that fence even more. That's exactly the queer activism we need.
Talking about 'redeeming sinners' is exactly what we need. We needed this exact religious wording injected back into queer and marginalized spaces so much! We all need to help the discourse shift to the right, this way or another! But don't worry, Vivziepop can do you no wrong, she is bisexual, asexual, and whatever fits, Latina in theory, and maybe 1/64 of whatever else would suit her, a Cherokee princess in the making, so she can do whatever she wants. Our queer, non-white kween.
Rainbow capitalism has evolved to eat its own children. Sneakily, I guess. By 'eating its own children,' I mean I'm watching the fandom/hatedom (indistinguishable) beg/bully Vivziepop and her team to 'do better,' improve her merch, or put Lute on some fictional, idiotic pride float. Everyone is just accepting this as our reality now? That a bigoted shitshow is the best we can get, that it's 'ours,' instead of just booing it away. Can we stop? Why do you want Vivzie to feed you anything at all? Can we just wheel her out of town, please?
Yeah, if only we got Lute on the float and Sera to have more screen time. That would be peak. That would be good. That's as American as one's mind can get. We need Black cops. We need rainbow cops. Diversity is king. Let's get some non-binary Black lesbians into IDF, that's progressive. And no, 'free Palestine' people cannot see opressive logics anywhere anyhow, people seem to operate on 'this thing bad' and never actually grasp why this thing bad in any meaningful way.
And yes, gazing into Hazbin Hotel fandom/hatedom gave me insight into exactly that. We're never making it lol, with critical thinkers of that sort.
I'm losing my own damn mind.
A bonus: I once saw a 2mln views video on 'how to do Southern accent' (everyone has one) and in it, the guy said: 'don't worry where you root it from, you can get away with a Southern accent no matter what.' as in 'people can't tell anyhow.' which is always a fascinating rhetorical move: defining 'people' as everyone except the people you're talking about. I'm sure Southern people can tell you're a fake ass bitch lol. But he's right. You can get away with anything that way, if the group someone is imitating does not matter to the people doing the imitation.
What else is new, right? But somehow now I'm hyperaware of all this in an updated, shiny, 2026 manner.
Does it need to be mentioned that Millie's accent is fucking atrocious. And I'm by default deaf to accents like 'idk people talk weird,' so that's an achievement even I cringed. I know there maybe exist 123 people who genuinely sound like that, still, fake and unbearable. Faking accents should be criminalized. But hey, they got a Black woman born in Florida (and raised in California...) to do it!
Probably not the biggest of deals, this show, but it's such a condensation of so many deals I'll never be able to word it all properly.
"can men be lesbians?" bestie in 100 countries women can't be lesbians is this really the most pressing issue rn
I know people say that the normal amount of pain is zero but I think all of you who say it doesn't hurt to stand or walk (at least a little) are lying
Me when people insist that they don't have regular lower intestinal pain. The fuck you mean things just...go through you without a huge dramatic production? You're eating actual food you have to chew and swallow like it's nothing, and I spent an hour in pain this morning because I drank too much water. Congrats on your magical guts dimension that means you are never aware of what is happening inside you unless you...what, anger some sort of evil ghost?
the big man is the masculine dom and the dom is the top and the little man is effeminate and transgender but fully passes as a cis man and has top surgery but since he doesnt have bottom surgery he literally has to be a bottom theres no way for someone with a vagina to top and the bottom is the sub and they are both uncomplicatedly homosexual with zero positive emotions for women and they both have adhd and autism but only the kind of autism that doesnt actually disable you and they also crossdress but in a specifically humiliating way (why would a MAN wear a DRESS??? š¤Ŗš¤Ŗ etc.) and they live together in a big house that they can both effortlessly afford and they're married and have 2 kids a dog and a cat (because Big man is dog coded and Little man is cat coded) and neither of them have jobs or lasting damage from canon events they've been through or physical disabilities or PTSD that I cant turn into Angsty Ship Content and the sun has a big smiley face and birds are just V shapes on the paper it doesnt have to be more complicated than that you dont have to flesh them out. you dont have to. and if you think about it wouldn't it just be soooo much effort to draw a whole bird?? youre just having fun its mean to ask you for detail. and my teacher lives at the school and the bus driver lives in the bus and everything is exactly the same :)
It struck me as very weirdly on point. People who have interacted with fandom spaces probably could have PhDs on this bullshit, I didnāt. I just have weird, very disturbing observations that would make me hate women if I didn't know any better. Hashtag not all white cis women, but a lot of white cis women, and probably some non-cis and non-white too, which changes not much bc let's be serious about the numbers.
What revolts me to no end is the humiliation fetish disguised as gender non-conforming inclusion, and as inclusion of trans men. Itās a porn add-on, thatās what it is.Ā
Itās like claiming loli porn is here to represent and advocate for sexual assault victims lol. No one would do that. Haha hihi smooth femboys ([sometimes] with [female genitalia weird term]) how hot. Same bullshit that cis men did and still do to trans women. A branch of the tree, Iād say. Sure, porn in general is fine, but when it rots oneās brain to the point of not being able to see the people that make them horny without entering a total gooner-sexist-dehumanizer mind, itās a damn problemāand they are probably an incel. If Iām not supposed to respect incels with their anime waifus (some are pretty harmless Iām sure, just some weirdos) Iām also not respecting an adult woman who goons to feminized boys and has twinks as her husbandos. Iām not shaming, Iām just saying itās the same thing, thereās no objective reason to see those people differently, the only āargumentā being āexcuse me Iām a woman.ā Yeah & if Iām porn to you, fuck you, lol*, you should know the drill. What do you want. Go fool someone else, Iām feminist, Iām educated, I have rights, thank you. I donāt want you anywhere providing serious ārepresentation.' Stay in your damn basement.Ā
(* Iām not the standard target tho, and yet⦠world is a miraculous place)
There is also so much auto-infantilization on top of what is already said in the original post. If somebody just wants to make fetish content, we could get over it. But somehow, when queer people or women do it, it is suddenly elevated, itās art, itās happy pride, itās this and that and fuck the fuck off why wonāt you. No, it isn't. It is like saying fanservice made of jiggly boob physics is here to represent big-chested women. Go make a fool of someone else. Iām tired. I aināt your fool, I aināt your anything, you bunch of creeps fapping to misery porn bc the misery doesnāt happen to people who look like you this time around. Which I get. Still creepy and reactionary. Maybe itās aside from what the post is about, but imo closely related.
Sure times are changing. Now we can sexualize-via-dehumanization everyoneāboys, girls, and enbies, as they sayāand it technically IS more equality, but first Iād rather no one expects me to be happy about it looking that way, second I wish people were seeing this shit for what it is more often. Idk, people are fucking gross, and we will never have nice things, and thatās a depressing conclusion & I donāt like it.Ā
And as some people mentioned, there is racism involved ofc. But the racism goes round really mysterious ways sometimes. Iād say itās evolving too lol.
petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)
AMENDED
happy pride everyone
haircut š
Aroace Grace being the most accepted headcanon is so very important to me.
His life wasnāt worth less because he didnāt have a partner or kids. He loved the world and his work and just being alive. He had so much love to give even if it wasnāt in the way that was considered ānormal.ā To live is to love, no matter the form it takes.
"It's so fucking over... My life is ruined... " ā
Demoralizing, hopeless, no goals, gets you stuck in misery
"THIS IS ALL PART OF MY MASTER PLAN." ā
Confident, energizing, hopeful
Acknowledges the hardships but makes it epic
Eludes to something bigger even if you don't know what that is
You sound evil and super smart
Ā Why Have You Forsaken Me?
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Characters: Charlie Morningstar
āIs that what you did, Mom? Did you make me exist just to carry your burden when you grew tired?āĀ
Summary: Charlie climbs to Lilithās abandoned observatory, desperate to talk to her, to know: is she abandoned, cursed, or simply impossible to love? Alone beneath it all, she wonders whether she should commit sacrificial suicide no one asked for, or commit to life and become pregnant with herself.Ā
Or: Charlie debates if she'd rather be Jesus or Virgin Mary.Ā
To be read on AO3 h e r e
Rating: Teen Word count: 2k (~10 mins)
CW: religious imagery & symbolism, religious trauma, suicidal ideation, self-sacrifice (contemplating), motherhood, parental abandonment, immaculate conception (as a theme I guess)
hey hey! so i found your post in the #tadc drama tag and im not sure how much i can really comment on this as a white person ((like gets-red-in-the-face-when-i-bend-down kind of white)).
but i wanted to correct this bit of misinfo in your response about the whole tshirt thing: "I understand the t-shirts were black by default (as shirts for designs tend to be), but yet again I didnāt study it because holy shit, I am guilty of wasting my time on earth, but this ⦠why. Just why."
so i play like a lot a lot a lot of jackbox ((im lowkey an addict)) and i think you misunderstood what the anon was getting at about the tshirts.
the game mk and an were playing is called tee k.o. and the game is basically cards against humanity with shirt designs. the shirts actually arent black by default. when you create the shirt in game, you get to pick the color.
the anon was saying that the microaggression here was them picking a black colored shirt to write the word nega on it ((which imo does add to the uncomfortableness of the situation)). not trying to be offensive when i write this but imagine they wrote words that looked like ch*nk on a yellow shirt or bean*r on a brown one.
Ok. I accept your correction as valid. I trust you. Now I feel not only too autistic, but also too old.
I think it boils down to perception in retrospect.
I'd be that guy who always picks a black shirt for everything and think absolutely nothing of it if I'm writing on it. I'm sure there are people like me out there. I would literally have to conduct an investigation on more of their streams to be able to say if anyone has any shirt-picking tendencies and weight it against that particular instance. Then, maybe, we'd be getting onto something.
I hope it's getting clear(er) why it's getting more insane the further we slide.
Why am I even here. I WAS JUST PASSING BY.
PS congratulations on flexible blood vessels, mine could never.
So, I know you answered this a while ago, and I'm not sure if you've changed your stance on it since. But I wanted to point out a few things regarding the "nega" controversy surrounding the TADC voice actors as someone who is Blasian (black on my mom's side and Korean and Filipino on my dad's side).
Even though you believe the joke wasn't racist, Michael and Ashley confirmed it was in their apologies. And I can tell you right now, as a WOC, that it was. The butt of the joke was black people. One could argue that it was Ashley instead; however, who really is taking the brunt of white people giggling like hyenas about dancing around the n-word? Mind you, this was a running gag for 20-30 minutes throughout the stream.
Like your previous anon said, the basis of the "nega" joke was that it was "not touching you racism." It's on the same level as non-black people saying, "What up, my ė“ź° (naega)," to black people. If they get called out for that shit, they have a pre-established loophole to be all, "Wellllllll, I didn't say the n-word! I said something that sounded like it, so you can't get mad at meeee." They're not slick, and this isn't new. And that's the exact argument white fans have been using to sweep the situation under the rug.
In your response to that anon, you used the example of mixing up the words "artistic" and "autistic," but the difference here is that "autistic" isn't a slur, and you're not saying it with that intention.
Calling this "casual racism" feels like minimizing actual casual racism, along other possible -isms and microaggressions.
The thing is, this is a direct example of casual racism and a microaggression. That's why an absurd amount of white fans are so quick to shut down conversation about this and label it "nothing burger drama." You have to be able to understand nuance, perspective, and plow through layers of instilled white bias. Watching that stream in addition to seeing fans' reactions instantly made me feel icky because it was a reminder of how blatant racism can be towards us, but how inconspicuous it can be towards others.
Ashley accidentally saying something that sounded like the n-word wouldn't have been a big deal, but she, Michael, and the other two streamers are guilty of running that joke into the ground. They drew it on a deliberately chosen black-colored T-shirt, and even Gooseworx cracked a joke about "nega."
As a disclaimer, I'm operating under the assumption that you're black since you were talking on the TADC issue and I noticed AAVE in your About Me section. I know that we aren't a monolith. I've seen all sorts of reactions across social media, ranging from rage to nonchalance. But let me ask you this: why would black fans, haters, content creators, or just regular-ass people be this upset in the first place? That feeling has to come from somewhere.
What can I say, if you feel that way, then you feel that way, and I believe I understand why.Ā
The only thing that changed is that I listened to the beginning of the stream, and how it started, being someone saying ānegaā & Michael going āwhat did you say? that sounded like something else.ā And then, indeed, it was a bunch of white people giggling around the n-word, which is in very poor taste, but half of it was chat-prompted from what I saw, but Iām not sitting watching the whole 20 minutes, come on, Iām not writing a scientific paper here. I understand the t-shirts were black by default (as shirts for designs tend to be), but yet again I didnāt study it because holy shit, I am guilty of wasting my time on earth, but this ⦠why. Just why.Ā
I feel terms like āhaving a stance on sthā really belong to the bigger picture. Does that godforsaken example fit somewhere into the bigger picture? Iām sure. I just prefer the bigger picture.Ā
I didnāt see any fans reactions, Iām not on tweeter, I donāt engage. If I saw people being plain stupid, then yeah, that would probably piss me off, but what else is new.Ā
I donāt care what some people say in some livestream, thatās my stance, if I need one. I donāt care about those damn people at all, Iām surprised to learn they have names. I watched TADC & I liked some art & thatās about it for me. The show itself is pretty non-offensive (thatās why my main job here is raging about Hazbin Hotel, bc this shit is one big offense in itself; but still I donāt give too many fucks about what Vivzie said 123 years ago, who cares, itās probably horrible, thatās just to be expected. Goose can do her job more or less right. Vivzie canāt. Itās not or/either, but I just felt like bringing it up. I just donāt care about creators as people, I care what they put out there, and only investigate if their work is sus as fuck.)
I know the bar is in Hell. But thatās where we are.Ā
āIn your response to that anon, you used the example of mixing up the words "artistic" and "autistic," but the difference here is that "autistic" isn't a slur, and you're not saying it with that intention.āĀ
Yeah, and they werenāt saying anything with that intention either. That was my point. They were giggling about the taboo. To which I often say: whatever.Ā ((also: some people absolutely do use 'autistic' like one would use a slur, including dancing around it 'in a polite way', like 'well after all you are ... um, well... ummm... (me: not helping, letting them simmer, with a very attentive look on my face) well we aren't all the same, are we :) (them: genuinely(?) feeling like they saved face with diversity card(??) and not doubled down on the worst aspects of wtf they're saying.) I genuinely prefer people being like 'shut the fuck up, [slurs] ' or 'get your *** **** ******* * ass over here' (this one ofc might be offensive or affirmative depending on who/when says that) it saves everyone time and pretense. that is to say, white lib skilled with words aint your friend either. I find that far more condescending and systemic issue than someone being like HAHA THAT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE A THING...... NO ONE SHOULD SAY........ yeah it's childish as hell & that attitude stems from systemic issues. America is inherently racist. neurotypicals are inherently ableist. and so on. but this instance is just stupid and inconsequential, it's the 'high brow' dancing around it I genuinely despise, because that carriers real prejudice. just say the fucking word you pretenscious non-aggressive elitlist fuck, jesus. whichever word that is. yet again: no trace of this here, imo. just highschool level of ignorance & getting all pumped up from almost doing a bad thing. I don't think those people have any Black (real) friends. what state(s) are they even from? didn't check. might sound harsh, but whenever I hear 'Black fans are dissapointed,' 'disabled fans are dissapointed,' and so on, I'm like: what possesed you to be a fan in the first place?))
āEven though you believe the joke wasn't racist, Michael and Ashley confirmed it was in their apologies.ā
Thereās no objective truth they could confirm or deny, what else could they say? Itās just classic damage control, running on a script, they are expected to say āyes that was very very ugly, weāre so sorry,ā so they did. Allegedly, I didnāt see that. They exist somewhere out there in a world I try not to give a shit about.Ā Also I don't believe there was a joke to begin with.
āIt's on the same level as non-black people saying, "What up, my ė“ź° (naega)," to black people.ā
Idk about level, maybe, but no one said anything to a Black person. Thatās why I donāt consider it microaggression, it was very directed at nobody.Ā
I just wanted to stick to the facts, instead of running with the offense. Yet again, I understand some people take offense, thatās their right. Iām just against making this what it is not, saying they said sth they didnāt, not checking for details. Maybe that stems from being autistic and having that sort of primal fear that someone will just take what I said at weirdest moment, misconstrue it in their measly neurotypical brain, and casually ruin my life while no one will listen to me bc why would they. I donāt wish that on anybody on principle.Ā A few of them, even.
I like my definitions crisp is all. Ofc one can debate definitions too. It is an interesting case tho, specifically bc itās so meta.Ā
Tl;dr I agree that it was very poor taste, I donāt have it in me to feel anything about it, I was just passing by. I think there are bigger issues to spend oneās energy on, even in unimportant fandom beefing spaces (which I avoid, Iām here to write cope.) Iām also around those peopleās age & being a millennial desensitizes you to stuff lol. Also Iām guilty of laughing at the worst shit, at worst times, physically unable to stop (greatly exploited by others in high school! also āve been told I sound like a hyena so you evoke some solidarity here), so, Iām biased.Ā
Iām just too autistic for this shit.Ā
I hope it's clear I'm not 'defending them,' I just don't care what some white normies have to say on anything in the first place. But those normies sure aren't the devil either.
My answer/thesis would be: people are pissed because people are tired. People shrug because people are tired.Ā
Itās just tiring. I just want to eat good food and sleep. Iām sorry. Iām a simple guy.Ā
Take care<3
Edit: first post here, someone rightfully saying I'm wrong about the shirts here
This whole 'Alastor had a white dad' thing pisses me off so much.
Louisiana made interracial marriage illegal in 1896. Then, in 1908, they went even further and criminalized interracial cohabitation and sex (it was a felony, up to five years of imprisonment with or without hard labor), by 1910 you couldnāt live together under any circumstance.
No, you couldnāt have a live-in servant either, because that could be a loophole, and law tends to reinforce itself against those.Ā
Think about the actual reality of that era. Who would risk it? What for? Sure, people fell in love despite the laws, I guess. But the fandom consensus is that Alastor's dad was an abusive asshole. If he was just an abuser, why would he bother to RISK HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE RUINED? If a white dude simply wanted to abuse people, he could do so within the bounds of the law without risking a prison sentence.Ā
The existence of a biracial child could have been treated as evidence of the felony. Heād dump them and move on.Ā
And wtf is up with this Hartfelt fan surname. Please I beg of you. aside from all the historical inaccuracy, did it win some Most Anglosaxon Name poll or something?
And do you know when that law finally went away? Do you know when interracial relationships were actually decriminalized?
IN FUCKING 1967. Yes, 1967. And Louisiana didn't even officially remove the ban from its state books until 1972 because fuck you, thatās why.Ā
I havenāt seen Season 2 bc fuck this show, so I donāt know exactly how they handled Alastor's āradio career,ā but I suspect bullshit. Moving his timeline from the 1920s to the 1930s is a marginal improvement at best. From what Iāve seen, a lot of people seem to be under the impression that Jim Crow racism in the South was basically just colorism, but slightly worse. No. White people would preferably not be in the same room as you. Period.Ā
This absolute negation of basic historical facts is really striking. This whole thing, both in-show and in-fandom, trivializes segregation to Hell and back(sic.) It was a great reminder of how much Americans either do not know their own history, or are in complete denial about it.Ā
To everyone yelling āitās just a fantasy!āāyeah, and it's a very stupid and ignorant one.Ā
I just donāt whoās that for.Ā
Sorry that actual segregation happened, was a massive deal, and now gets in the way of your Disneyland New Orleans, drama-flavored, ādifferent-colored-people-mingling-bc-yay-diversityā fantasy? Sorry your favorite murder boy wouldnāt have the life youād like to imagine, for whatever reason youād like to imagine it that way?Ā
I understand Black people whoād like a break from how bleak reality tends to be, but I suspect thatās not the majority contributing to this.Ā
Mixed-guys are in season I hear, with a lot of the romantasy love interests being spiced-up by being made ātanā & racially ambiguous in the text. I mean, if someone decides to make a live-action adaptation one day (god forbid), someone's gonna get the job, and good for them. But letās not pretend this isnāt just catering to a predominantly white female audience, where all the ārepresentationā talk is secondary at best.Ā
Itās the tall dark and handsome bullshit all over again. Welcome to the 20s. What a time to be alive!Ā
To me, this Hazbin whitewashing just feels like another layer of āit wasnāt even that badā propaganda, intentional or not. Same old. What disgusts me in the current 20s is the additional layer of gaslighting: ālook, itās representation! <3ā So now, when you demand some basic respect for marginalized groups, youāre⦠a bigot? Woah. Nice. I suppose Iād prefer being called a bunch of slurs of one's chosing, at least thatās honest. How conservative of me.
Pisses me off, man. America really pisses me off.
And it's also a PSA that whatever rights we lose now, might take a long damn while to get them back. So be mindful of what you support.