just some guy

Avery | 28 | Portland | Genderqueer Lesbian | He/They | Autistic/ADHD & Physically Disabled | White | Blog is occasionally NSFW - follow at your own risk

[creekfiend]

Y'ALL. @plantdogbug may have solved my doing art lying down problem... "face down sun lounger" for tanning is the thing. here's two pics of ones I found just searching that phrase:

I haven't gotten one yet bc I'm still trying to determine if there's any differences between all of the available ones or if they're essentially the same thing. But. IF ANYONE ALSO HAS THE PROBLEM OF WANTING TO DO STUFF BUT NOT BEING ABLE TL BE UPRIGHT...!!!

[sapphling]

whenever you talk about medical abuse or antipsych a lot of med & psych professionals on tumblr love to cite their job titles as proof that they have the Authority to Prove You Wrong not understanding that the reason that works to shut patients up in real life is because you hold the power to permanently degrade their quality of life/quality of care and they're afraid of you because of it, not because they genuinely agree that you're better than them

[firewalkwithmedvd]

man if you're disabled you've GOT to find some way to make your fuckass body a source of pleasure whenever you can. jacking off. eating good food. wearing soft clothes. kissing an animal on the head. whatever you can do

[syrenki]

"retiring for the evening" is a very useful concept lol we should be free to say "i'm not gonna be chatting anymore tonight" without then having to pretend to be asleep. if we ever talk and you say goodnight don't stress it if i see you online later hahahahah

[sioltach]

Person in the grocery store had amazon rainforest sounds blasting on their phone as they shopped and I think that's a beautiful use of free will

[sioltach]

"people who don't wear headphones in public are a nuisance" except this one. I respect their indomitable human spirit

[second-time-around]

very 🥰🥰🥰 when musicians leave bits in songs where they're saying 'is this thing on?' or 'it's still recording y'know.' chairs scraping, retuning guitars, saying 'let's do that bit again', 'was that take any good?'

[phleb0tomist]

reminder to all disabled people that you’re allowed to tell people “i can’t do that” about stuff you can ‘technically’ do but which harms you or requires a period of recovery or preparatory rest etc. you don’t have to explain the complex nuances of your condition to anybody who demands it. i’ve found it’s honestly better to give the least amount of info about your symptoms unless you trust a person a lot. you hold the power over your health information. you choose whether or not to share the details of your condition with people who might not understand.

[little-grey-dowitcher]

So many people never learned to live with harmless discomfort at any point in their lives and holy fuck does it show

[little-grey-dowitcher]

“But I wanna know!” You’re gonna have to learn to be ok with not knowing some things, especially when those things involve personal details about strangers that they’re not comfortable sharing.

“But it’s confusing!” If you take the time to educate yourself it’ll no longer be confusing. Otherwise you’re just gonna have to learn to be ok with being confused.

“But it’s weird!” You probably do weird things all the time. Everyone does weird things sometimes. Life goes on.

“But it scares me!” Is it hurting you? No? You’ll be fine. Being scared and being harmed are not always the same thing. Learn to tell the difference and then act accordingly.

“But I want it!” And I want a million dollars. You can’t always get what you want.

[little-grey-dowitcher]

A lot of people were also never told “no” as children and the consequences of that manifest in similar ways. Learn to be ok with being told “no.” You’re not gonna die if you don’t get your way in every single situation ever.

[sexybritishllama]

idk man sometimes i like it when video game writers are allowed to plan a series of events that happen in a specific order and affect each other in turn to become an overarching narrative, and i don’t mind trusting those writers to take me through those events in the order that is emotionally effective. i don’t really care if a game forces me to go through the forest area first before i can attempt the icy area because maybe there’s things that happen in the forest area that inform later scenes in the icy area. maybe we don't need more superficial player choice open world concepts if it comes at the cost of the ability to write a story with actual significant plot events and character development in each section

[tpwrtrmnky]

sometimes it occurs to me that while "get bottom surgery and then use a strapon" is an obvious course of action for many trans lesbians, a lot of cis people would be extremely confused by the suggestion that someone would do this.

[duchessvongooseberg]

🗣️ 📢 ‼️

[creekfiend]

i think many people read a level of hostility into my responses to certain interactions that is not there, because they are used to the level of hostility being displayed towards ME being normalized. many, many interactions slide by with a veneer of "socially acceptable" simply because we have normalized the idea of people constantly champing at the bit to determine if they personally Approve or Disapprove of your personal life choices. this is actually not a premise I accept. i will not respond well to attempts to engage me which are engineered to make me defend myself to strangers, and I think it shows a PROFIUND level of disrespect and self involvement to think that I would give a single solitary fuck what a rude stranger online has to say about my life choices. i make decisions very thoughtfully and using many types and sources of information. i seek this information out purposefully, from sources that I respect and trust, and I spend quite a lot of time discussing these decisions with people in my life who have much more knowledge, information, and experience in these subjects than I do. and certainly more than any internet rando who thinks their opinion should hold weight with me.

these interactions are RUDE. it is NOT acceptable to treat people this way. this contributes to some of the least healthy social environments wherein people are constantly looking over their shoulders in fear that whoever has the most social power will enact coercive control bullshit cloaked in "disapproval" in order to punish them. i have less than zero tolerance for this behavior.

i have a lot of sympathy for people who engage in this behavior bc they come from spaces where it is normalized. this is not a behavior that is engaged in only by some sort of specific type of Bad Person. it is behavior that is incentivized in shitty social spaces, and that unfortunately includes A LOT of society. people who default to this sort of interaction, i wish you a very "find social spaces where people don't use judgement and coercive control to keep people in line."

my blog is one such social space. the price of entry is not fucking speaking to me like that.

the decisions other people make in their lives will make you feel varying degrees of discomfort, often. for various reasons. these feelings are of course valid but they are not the responsibility of the people whose choices you are reacting to. trying to use those feelings to Enforce Acceptable Behavior in others is insufferable at best and frankly a nasty little symptom of white supremacy at worst. this sort of social environment is not a natural outcome of interacting with people who make different choices than you would make. it is an outcome of being in social spaces where authority and hierarchy are valued and enforcing the One Correct Way To Do Things is something that is done via punishment. I'm not here for it and I won't pretend to be.

[creekfiend]

i think some skills that are extremely important to develop that a lot of people in spaces I am adjacent to do not yet have are 1. the knowledge and acceptance of the fact that there are countless multitudes of ways for human beings to arrange and live their lives; there is a huge diversity of human social norms 2. viewing your own accepted social norms as the litmus test for whether people are Behaving Acceptably is an act of supremacy 3. to this end it is very important to figure out how to determine what behaviors legitimately cause harm. understand that your answer to this question will be different than other people's, based on differing values. 4. understand also that "I must DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS" as a response to your own discomfort with someone else's choices is an impulse borne of a desire for control.

[creekfiend]

omg please (only if you want of course) expand on what you said about omegaverse being Wrong about dog sex

well there's a few different things but here's my primary objections, based on my personal experience assisting with dog breeding:

- knotting itself REALLY does not seem fun for most dogs (Glimmer disagrees but she is. an outlier in my experience.) they definitely are compelled to mate, and I think that must be enjoyable, but once the tie happens most dogs are immediately like "goddammit" and just stand around in a state of chagrined regret for twenty minutes. the most extreme version of post nut clarity. some of them REALLY hate it and you have to grab the bitch to prevent her from trying to run off with the dog's dick still in there bc she could potentially really hurt him. so there is a lot of comedy potential there imo. firstly you're stuck together for half an hour and it's deeply inconvenient. what if one of you needs to get up and grab something off the dresser. imagine the stupid little shuffling walk they'd have to do. and then also imagine if there was a very real danger that someone would freak out and try to Escape your dick in a blind panic and you'd have to try to keep them calm so they didn't give you some sort of dick injury? very funny.

- on a more social implications level, I think it is cowardly to not do a left hand of darkness thing where when someone ISN'T in heat, sex simply Does Not Occur. Ever. as in it is physiologically*not possible* to have sex outside of heats, and no one has any interest in it. that would change human society SO much & is a really fascinating world building scenario, imo, and I think it's really weaksauce that ppl aren't exploring it. heat cycles exist because of a very very different model of ovulation cycles that result in pretty extreme physiological and therefore social differences re: sex, and I think that's interesting to think about in terms of human social structures and how much they would be changed if our reproductive cycles worked more like dogs!

anyway. obvious disclaimer that I have not Read Every Omegaverse Fic and I'm sure some people are exploring things thoughtfully because the world is full of a diversity of human experiences. but IN GENERAL, in the most prevalent media depictions, there is a profound intellectual laziness that I simply cannot respect. i understand that it's just about being horny. but please can't ppl try to be horny in a more thoughtful and interesting way. incurious horniness is nothing to me

[keriarentikai]

I was googling pictures of foxes and found this one. It has definitely made a good attempt at ruining sexy fox fics for me. Look at them. They hate their lives. They're making the world's worst small talk. They are both imagining how great it will be to go home to their own bed. They are counting down the seconds.

[creekfiend]

YOU GET IT!!!!!!

[arrowquillpokemon]

game: has any kind of elemental based fighting system

me: apply pokemon logic

[gluttonousgoddess]

To be fair Pokemon element logic is rooted in normal logic.

[arrowquillpokemon]

yeah, everyone knows a wrestlers biggest weakness is the local pigeons

[karnalesbian]

go outside and try to suplex a bird

[dolleyeresponse]

tell me how bug resists fighting

[karnalesbian]

go outside and try to suplex a bug

[parkchanwoohoo]

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

[deslizada]

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

[catilinas]

i love shipping magazines and i especially love them when they sound like they were written by a mildly aggravated cargo ship

[jingerpi]

I never really wanted to get into this on here but I want to talk about it now so nobody can stop me.

honestly one of the worst things is that I knew. a lot of people talk about not knowing they were trans until xyz event where they realized and went through whatever hardships and then transitioned. people talk about repression and discovery and all these things. and those are all powerful and important experiences I don't see myself as above them in any way. but I knew.

I was never an egg, I was never in denial. when I was 3 years old I dreamed I was a princess. I know this because my family retells it as a funny story. I tried to wear my sister's clothes regularly, I asked people why there wasn't a word for the reverse of a tomboy, I put on makeup, I used she/her pronouns online since I first learned to read and write.

I don't bring this up to do this "I've always been a woman deep down, so you should listen to me as super valid Mr psychologist gatekeeper". my point is that it didn't matter.

I knew, and it didn't matter. it wasn't an issue of having to figure out who I was and then realizing that. it's that who I am was intentionally killed and locked away at every turn. it's not that I didn't realize I was a girl, it's that I wasn't allowed to be one. I was hurt and punished and sent to conversion therapy repeatedly. I can't "go back in time and tell my younger self to save her years of struggle". it wouldn't matter. it wouldn't change anything at all. the issue wasn't a lack of information. it's a lack of power. kids and trans kids especially are subject to so much abuse and we have no power to do anything about it. it is such a great tragedy beyond words. knowing what you want to do and wear and say and be, that you want this name and these pronouns and that cute dress, and being powerless to do anything about it anyway. forced to wear clothes picked out for you by a guardian, only able to use pre-approved nicknames online. only allowed to engage in these specific hobbies and have these specific friends. all of whom treat you like garbage. but it doesn't matter. it doesn't even matter if you know it's unjust, there's no way to do anything about it. it is perhaps the most powerless position anyone can be in. there is no level of knowledge or personal strength that will get you out of it. you just have to shut off until enough time passes for the law to deem you as worthy of being a person.

I think that's a big part of why I'm like this now, once you see that powerlessness, when you experience the depths of hopelessness and disenfranchisement, you can never unsee it. it does something to you

[jingerpi]

it's easier to think that I did something wrong. that if I were smarter or stronger or cleverer I could've figured it out. and that when I did get out of that place, that it was due to my strength. but the reality is it wasn't. none of it was my fault, and that's almost harder to handle. there's no amount of trial or belief or hope or self knowledge that can magically warp the world to be kind to you. when I got away it's because I was a legal adult. that's it, that's all that changed. the only thing holding me back that entire time