Perpetual Timewarp

The musings of Stan & Clara

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Hi. I'm Bob Zumba of Bob Zumba Aerobics.

Stan & Clara

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Intercom

Stan & Clara's intercom = baby monitor

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Stan & Clara's Afternoon

Agenda: 

Find all the cool hiding spots in the house.

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I could make better wine with grape juice and vodka.

Stan

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Watched Willy Wonka.  Ate all the candy in the house.

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I don't know if I told you this, but it's my birthday and I deserve another bowl of cereal.

Stan

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You can't make two Swedish Fish kiss.

Stan

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Clara: I searched for a baby drug rug. I didn't find anything. Stan: The FBI just flagged you.

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Aw, man, Counting Crows sucks!

Stan, in the middle of a different conversation

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Clara: Hey! Look at me! I'm a Harlem Globetrotter! ::whistles a tune::

Stan: ... That's the Andy Griffith theme song.

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I feel like Googling things.

Clara

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Pie delivery

Clara: I wish the cat would deliver us pies. Strapped to his back.

Stan: What kind of pie would you get? Can my pie be cheesecake?

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I'm going to make a salad. Oh, but I don't want to cut the carrots up. I'll break them in half. Oh, they are hard to break. I'll just put them on the lettuce whole. This is the crappiest salad ever. What else do we have? A cucumber. A whole cucumber. I could put pickles. What about jalapeños? I envisioned a salad with chicken, but we don't have that. You know what, though? I'm gonna feel healthy after I eat it.

Stan

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Stan: Do farmers use cows as currency in Vermont?

Clara: No. No they do not.

Stan: Like, "Here I'll give you Bessie for some ... other prized cow."

Clara: Nobody names their cow Bessie these days.

Stan: Everybody names their cow Bessie.

Clara: Yeah, on cartoons.

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Got any cheese?

Clara: Do you want to go to Vermont and buy some cheese?

Stan: Where do they make cheese, anyway?

Clara: Farms .................

Stan: Oh, I was thinking at delis.

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Well, it's ten o'clock. Time for my midnight snack.

Stan

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What's that word there? “Oh it’s tom. It was Tom, but you said I can’t do proper nouns.” -Stan