jnco jeans queen @perplexingpurple - Tumblr Blog

larkstonguesinaspicpart1

I think they should make a fighting game where all of the characters are from the public domain

agentumbls

WHAT'S THIS? IT'S THE GREAT GATSBY WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

vicholas

rodrickheffeley

wokebutsleepy

cheaphalloweencostume

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

hyrude

shout out to the hot girl in my playwriting class who responds with “yeah, but that’s derivative of neon genesis evangelion” every time somebody brings up some artsy film i’ve never heard of and they immediately shut up and can’t argue without admitting they’ve seen nge. us regular-looking people could never get away with that. THAT’S what we mean when we say “use your privilege for good”

amarakaran

“[My wife] said, ‘You know, we’ve been together for nine years, and I think we’ll be together for a long time. But you will never know what I really think of you, and I will never know what you really think of me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, it’s kind of beautiful.’”

JOHN MULANEY The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

makomoriz

i know what you think of me, tim kreider

the-mad-prince-of-denmark

Hamlet: Why are any of us here, really?

Graveyard night watchman: Okay, but I’m asking about you, specifically.

katiemonz

lovin the new animal crossing yall

savedgame

tommy and Timmy are adults right like they run a store

halodite

i think they are toddlers

savedgame

how do they run a store so efficiently

halodite

they work together

perks-of-being-chinese

things you can do while quarantined:

build a rocket

fight a mummy

climb up the eiffel tower

discover something that doesn’t exist

give a monkey a shower

surf tidal waves

create nanobots

locate Frankenstein’s brain

find a dodo bird

paint a continent

drive your sister insane

honeyglazedbabe

They took jaboukie’s blue check after this tweet

auckie

When I was little I wanted to be Italian REALLT badly bc I loved the movie cars and specifically had a crush on this fucking THING

Which doesn’t speak English at all, all it’s line are in Italian and it’s name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didn’t know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like ‘hey what the fuck’ and I didn’t have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.

auckie

The reason I was downloading South Park episodes and songs on limewire and frostwire was because I was also obsessed with Kenny McCormick and for school we had to make a shitty little website about a world issue, so I found this free platform that doesn’t exist anymore but it was like a horrible little wix site from the mid aughts, and we based my groups theme on global warming. But when we were done with it I repurposed it as a perosnal site and lied about being a voluptuous blonde 19 year old woman who worked at a fictitious restaurant called the lunchbox, and I just wrote about how obsessed I was with Kenny McCormick and my sister found it and was like what the fuck is wrong with you. But she never told my parents. She also found this 80 page story I was writing about buddy the elf and all my weird skater ocs breaking into the moulin rouge, and at one point I was sick of buddy so I had a herd of buffalo trample him in the middle of a city and it was very tragic but jarring and unexpected. And she referenced a part of the story to me and it made me SO fucking paranoid that I wiped our entire, family shared packard bell computer and got in huge fucking trouble for it.