Percy Jackson and The Olympians

:) Follow my Instagram > @persassy_blowfish

[persassy-blowfish]

Headcanon: If percy never made it to camp in the first book!!

Kronos: bring me more peeled grapes

Some titan: okay

[persassy-blowfish]

*at a wedding*

Annabeth: what-

Percy, crying by the punch table: this is just so beautiful

Annabeth: Percy can you just-

Percy, dabbing his eyes and heading for the cake: I love weddings

Annabeth: Percy, get on the damn stage

Percy: Annabeth this is a wedding-

Annabeth: yeah and you’re the fucking groom

Marriage officiant, whispering: but why

[persassy-blowfish]

Person: Table for 1?

Leo: Ha, what a loser

Person, awkwardly looks at manager: would that be a table for 1 or not, sir?

Leo, sighing: yea

[persassy-blowfish]

When I die and go to the Fields of Punishment to push a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down, I would simply not push it and sunbathe on top of the boulder under the fiery heat of hell for the rest of eternity. Like rip to these Greek idiots but I’m different.

[persassy-blowfish]

Percy: look, Leo made me hearing aids for no reason at all

Annabeth: mhm, could you turn the fan on

Percy: alright here’s a can

Annabeth: no I said the fan

Percy, a day later: i made the flan

Annabeth: no, no, turn the fan on

Percy, a few weeks later: So I saved up enough to get the trampoline

Annabeth: no Percy, the FAN

Percy: ohhh right

Percy, decades later: ITS READY

Annabeth: what is?

Percy: THE ILLEGALLY HARVESTED LIFE SUPPLY OF POTATOES-

Annabeth: PERCY WHAT EVEN

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Percy: lets say if, hypothetically, I went bankrupt around two days ago and I were to tell annabeth-

Piper: oh you’d be dead

Percy:

Piper: you know, hypothetically

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Leo: have you ever wondered what peanut butter and orange juice mixed together-

Nico: No

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Grover: remind me what we’re looking for

Percy: anything, we have to find out what the Hunters really get up to

Grover: okay got it

Grover:

Grover: Percy what’s the lesbian agenda

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Annabeth: whoops

Percy: Annabeth you just set the Hera cabin on fire-

Annabeth: whoops

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Percy: No

Jason: percy but it says-

Percy: no no no

Jason: but percy-

Percy: THIS CAN’T BE THE END

Annabeth, about to win Twister: right hand fucking red percy

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ice cream: *a small bit melts*

Percy, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he looks into the sun: come on Apollo. i though we were cool, man

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Drew: children of Aphrodite can speak fluent French

Drew: but I wouldn’t expect you to-

Piper, eyes closed in deep concentration: oui oui baguette

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Percy: sometimes I wonder-

Nico: is it hard?

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Nico: I really fucking hate you. God. Mother fucking shit.

Nico: *chucks jack-in-the-box burger in the trash*

Nico: i really wish McDonalds would finish remodeling

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Annabeth: I wrote a novel.

Annabeth: it’s called “The Horrors of-”

Nico: All due respect but who told you you could write my biography

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Piper: why were you screaming and running away from Leo this morning? he was literally only holding a stapler

Jason: i don’t understand the question

[persassy-blowfish]

Leo: “if you can’t do time, don’t do the crime” literally implies to all criminals that if ur willing to spend a while in jail, please, do the crime

Leo: don’t you think so?

reporter: sir, we asked for your opinion on global warming

Leo: THE SAYING WAS MISLEADING, IM SORRY, ILL TONE IT DOWN A BIT