A Blog About (Being) Persecutors

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[persecutorsandadjacents]

Blog about and for persecutors, run by a small group of persecutors and adjacents (ex: anger holders, prosecutors, maladaptive headmates, etc)

tags We use:

#original posts

#written dd/mm/yyyy

#actual system persecutor -posts written by persecutors (mostly applied to original posts)

#system persecutor

#directed towards non-persecutors

#reblogs

#persecutor related

#persecutor positivity

#persecutor

#evil alter -posts using the term evil alter

#terms

#moodboard

#community related

#recovery & help

#trauma related

#psychiatry

#character post

#reminders

#abusive hosts

#persecutor & persecuted -posts about persecutors that have been/are being abused by their headmates

[hollowandcoldanddark]

persecutors can be real fucking assholes and it can be really really hard to live with one. as someone whos tried to die cause of this shit, lets talk about it a little. its getting late at night so this wont be massive.

dont abuse ur persecutors more - do you think that the "i was abused and now am acting in a harmful way" person will appreciate more continuing abuse. try not to isolate them, lock them away, etc. theres a lot of advice like "dont ever" but i understand that you dont want your life to be in danger and you probably have fucking work to do

make it inconvineitn - if persecutors are feelong a bit stabby, keep your knifes blunt. make money slightly more annoying to access. hang around people who know. make it harder for them just a bit.

learn to tune it out/make peace with it - this is really really hard depending on what theyre doing or saying but if you can and there isnt much reconciling with them then this is a good idea. try to learn to not internalise it

talk to them - if possible talk about what they want or why theyre doing this. whats pissing them off. how u can help. make jokes. introduce them to life experiences. some persecutors probably are just malicious dickhats but most are not.

maintain a relationship - keep talkingf to them. keep doing this.

dont use a conditioning style of punishment, like if you are mean to em i dont let you do a thing you like or see the sun. this can be really triggering and framer you as an enemy, a threat, or just an asshole. they are not dogs.

persecutors reading: i dont know you. your systme needs to treat you like a person. and you need to try in order for it to work. i believe in you. the future can get better but u need to be [art of that change. maybe try merge dragons that helped one of our guys

[fvck-around-find-out]

Bitter pill for some of you "good" alters to swallow, but some "bad" alters split because you needed someone to hate.

Some persecutors act the way that they do precisely so you'll direct your hate onto them, where it's safe, rather than anger your abuser or abuse an innocent yourself.

Maybe actually unpack why you hate that alter before you do. "But they did this or that or" yeah, maybe they fucking did. But why did they do it? Just to be a cunt? Maybe. Sometimes sure. But sometimes you need to look a little deeper and give your brain some fucking credit – it can do some messed up shit to keep you safe. Including creating an amalgamation of morally bad behaviour that you can feel good about taking your anger out on.

Except, sometimes, that amalgamation has feelings and a name and know what their job is, and don't enjoy it. They do it because it's the only way to guarantee you're not going to cuss out your abuser and get you all hurt or killed.

[what-is-loveit]

you dont have the fucking right to abuse your alters or treat them like shit or mock them. you arent more entitled to existing than they are. get the fuck over yourself.

[what-is-loveit]

and you are not "the real one" either. being the host or the original or both or whatever else does NOT give you the right to treat your sysmates like garbage. it doesnt give you the right to try and control them or hurt them or mock them or shittalk them behind their back or whatever the fuck else.

[outcast-and-outlier]

the way yall talk about persecutors like theyre violent dogs instead of people is wild

[alteredpanel]

host complex so strong you forget how the disorder works

[persecutorlifeandsupport]

[ID: A thread of tweets from @Wradliks crew reading;

"Persecutor thread! Top tips from a persecutor on how to get along with the grouchy, disruptive, destructive or downright malevolent folks in your head crew #pluralgang #pluralpunk

First off, a disclaimer that I am one persecutor, and everyone's different, so ymmv. Also, I get not everyone likes the word "persecutor". Basically, this is for whoever feels it's relevant to them. Use your own words to describe yourself.

1) outlets. We need outlets for our energy. I don't know if others realise, but that explosive anger, than cold rage? Carrying that around is exhausting. Help us find healthy ways to decompress.

2) get to know what sort of energy/ behaviour you're carrying- is it scrutinising, structuring energy? Is it loud, aggressive energy? There's no one-size-fits-all. You need to tailor your approach to the specific qualities of your headmate

2) get to know what sort of energy/ behaviour you're carrying- is it scrutinising, structuring energy? Is it loud, aggressive energy? There's no one-size-fits-all. You need to tailor your approach to the specific qualities of your headmate.

3) when finding outlets, don't prescribe what *you* think is helpful. Let them suggest. I *hate* being told to relax. I hate having fun. I don't want to listen to a nice playlist. I want to do 40 press ups.

4) figure out what your "normal" looks like. I tried making myself positive for the others. It was horrible. I didn't feel like myself any more. I need to find a comfortable level of grim where I am supporting from my zone, in my element, but in a constructive way

5) that said, give us space to be vulnerable if we want to. The first time I asked someone for help, I broke down crying from relief. I'd never felt able to come down from hypervigilance before and trust someone. Demonstrate that we can trust you.

6) if we do get vulnerable, reassure us that things are being handled well in absence of our vigilance. When I relax, I need to know that we are gonna be able to handle life for a short while without me needing to jump in at a moment's notice.

7) set clear boundaries. No means no. Be absolutely clear in your self worth, don't take shit. If we try and test you and try and start a fight, trust yourself to stand your ground. Holding people accountable for their behaviour is a sign of love and respect

8) be really explicit and vocal about what's happening. Disrupt the logic of our dodgy processes. Say what needs to change. Offer clear alternatives. We are often very ethically minded, principled people who apply our ideals badly and never got a chance to learn any other way

9) be vocal when things go well. Find common ground. Encourage growth, encourage finding ways to apply your skills to healthier causes. Maybe your icey critic can write really strong letters to asshat landlords on behalf of other members in your tenant's union

10) if you need to challenge us but feel scared, enlist the help of several people in your crew and work together to de-escalate things. Make safety plans. Protect the vulnerable in your crew. You got this

11) building trust takes time. Be consistent. Set hard boundaries where you need to. Make lots of space for feedback. Be open to mistakes

12) and be open to who we might turn into when we don't have to carry on the same bullshit any more. There is so much more to life than causing grief and pain. Discovering that is beautiful, healing, empowering and devastatingly strange. Be there for us if that happens."

End ID]

[persecutor-positivity]

persecutors are just as lovable as any other alter type!!! your worth isn’t defined by your past!! everything will get easier in time, i promise

[persecutorlifeandsupport]

persecutors from endogenic systems are fabulous and worthy of love and i hope you have a great day

[persecutorlifeandsupport]

Persecutors are not bad people

You did what you had to do to survive

[sanctuaryroses-deactivated20241]

Helping persecutors

Accept where the alter is at emotionally. Dont make demands on them. It can be helpful to remind them that theyre in the present now and it is safe, but if it literally does not feel this way to them, it becomes about acceptance. Validate them. Yes you feel horrible. Yes everything hurts. Yes you were mistreated. Yes, youre angry, yes youre right to be angry.

Assess their "flexibility" or "frustration-tolerance". Keep attention to how they respond to when things dont go their way, how they respond to conflict. How flexible are they in changing their opinion, or adapting to new situations? How much more stress can they encounter before it gets to much for them?

Map how you help them around how flexible and how much frustration tolerance they have. Persecutors that can "withstand" going thru their painful emotions actively, whilst you hold their hand can benefit from mindfulnes, you can help them proccess, preferably together with an equipped therapist. If they do not have that flexibility, it is best to try to distract them from their emotional turmoil, if an alter literally does not have the flexibility, or wriggle room left to try to face any of this, even as it is hitting them in the face every single day, you should try to remove them from those feelings, not make them face them more. Distract them.

Humour and playfulness. Find out what they find funny, what makes them laugh, a lot of really heavy and crisis-like situations with persecutors can be avoided if you manage to.. literally make them laugh. Even if theyre being extremely hurtful and aggressive, be playful with them, dont mirror back to them that theyre "horrible", mirror back to them that "its really not that serious" and try to get them to laugh and see smth positive in the situation. This has literally saved my life ngl.

Find out what specific brand of feelings they experience as most "painful". I have alters who carry our shame, I have alters who carry self-hatred and rage at everyone else both, it tends to be split apart like that. Figure out what their heavy weight is. It can help you avoid triggering them worse, by trying to avoid saying things, or brining up things associated with those types of feelings.

Validate them. Figure out .. in some sense, what they are proud of. What trait or set of traits do they think are extremely crucial to survival to have? Theyll most likely be developed around those traits. I have alters who lack any and all empathy and a sense of guilt, theyre mostly developed around being tough and strong and having to survive, and staying calm in danger. Theres alters who are really emotionally intelligent, and empathetic, so quite the opposite. It gets tricky (im also guilty of this) if you yourself *think one set of traits is much more helpful, and important and necessary to have than the other* or even feel another set of traits or another survival strategy *is shameful or more weak than the other* this can become smth where alters feel you dont want them to exist, or you want them gone, which will lead to self-doubt on their part, and also to aggression towards you.

Be okay with set-backs. Remind them of progress already made even if they fall back into bad behaviours.

Dont lie to them about how you feel for them. But dont play favourites either.

[persecutor-positivity]

persecutors don’t deserved to be demonized. remember your self worth and value is not defined by other people and to take care of yourself! 💜💜💜

[coyoteroadkill]

ive said this before but it was on my old blog so I'm saying it again

dehumanizing abusers is not effective at doing anything other than make people think they're ontologically incapable of violence

[ajunicetryagain]

it's also creating a class of people who you can abuse while telling yourself that you're Good and Moral and Not an Abuser.

[kyraneko]

if you dehumanize the caught abusers then the uncaught abusers will use their humanity as proof of innocence

if you dehumanize the hypothetical abusers you create incentives for false accusations as a means of dehumanization whenever dehumanization is desired for other reasons

[persecutor-culture-is]

Persecutor culture is NOT being misunderstood. There’s reasons I do what I do, but I hate people saying I’m just “a traumatised, misunderstood alter”. Die.

.

[pearlite-blues]

Your sysmates are not inconveniences. They are not a disease. They are not your subjects, or sideshows to your life, or obstacles in your way, or toys to be bought and played with and discarded, or in any way lesser than you. They deserve to live their lives and make their own choices.

Do not lock away your sysmates. Do not destroy or delete their things, or read their private journals. Do not hit them or shun them or give them the silent treatment. Do not go on social media to trash-talk them and call them terrible people and tell the world how much you'd like them gone. Do not call them something they do not wish to be called. Come on, guys. This is as simple as the golden rule.

I said in a post some time ago, and have said repeatedly since, that there is no way out of coexisting with your sysmates. You can't ever leave, not for the rest of your life, and neither can they. The only real decision you have is figuring out how much pain you would like to inflict on each other before you learn how to live together. So do yourselves a favour and spare yourselves the melodrama. If nothing else, bad behaviour towards your sysmates will inevitably backfire on you. After all, they have the entire rest of your life to thwart your efforts to suppress them.

But I would still caution viewing this in the selfish way, because strong relationships with your sysmates are their own rewards. You and your sysmates will find something beautiful beyond words when you love each other, especially if they or you have never felt that kind of love before. When you know each other and support each other and are able to work together to achieve a goal, then the benefits reap themselves. It is essential you get to this point.

Of course, you and your sysmates need to put the work in. You can't make a relationship with wishes and good vibes. A lot of strategies to achieve this end are pretty straightforward, though not necessarily easy. Learn to compromise and have civil disagreements. Don't form cliques or gang up on each other. Make rules that prevent you from stepping on each others' toes all the time. Befriend your sysmates, but if this is incredibly difficult, adopt the "roommate strategy"-- that is, have good enough "housekeeping" (in this case, general life habits and behaviour) that you will not drive each other insane, and avoid intruding on each others' things. Learn how not to stew on your problems and to address them in a way that doesn't devolve into yelling.

Most importantly, though, I will once again reiterate that you should let your sysmates have the freedom, within reason, that they want to have. If the 10-year-old boy wants to say "fuck" and play Call of Duty, let him. If the teenage girl really wants to blast Taylor Swift on the way to work instead of what you want to listen to, quiet your mental ranting about how much you hate Taylor Swift, and pass her the aux. If the old man wants to spend his Saturday morning completing the crossword instead of being productive, then let that man finish his damn crossword. If you do this, then your sysmates will leave you alone when you do what you want to do. But-- and this is the important part-- when you show they can trust you on the little things, they will trust you with big things, and vice versa. You cannot get to the point where your sysmate trusts you with their deepest traumas if they cannot trust you to put up with listening to them talk about their interests. This is how your system becomes a support system: step-by-step, slow and steady, until it reaches critical mass.

No, your sysmates are not inconveniences. The real inconvenience is the one you cause yourself when you treat them like objects. No-one-- not you, certainly not them, not anyone around you-- benefits from adversarial in-system relationships. Your sysmates are individuals, and they deserve the respect that everyone deserves. (Even if they do not identify as people, they should still be treated with the kindness and decency you would treat a person with.) Most critically, they are individuals who will be there, night and day, 24/7/365, for the rest of your life. So stop locking them up or gossiping about them or otherwise making life harder for yourself and for them, and start acting accordingly.

[shellrots-deactivated20251213]

Do you guys ever come across to posts made by hosts literally admitting to show controlling behavior to other headmates and make it sound like a funny joke and you stare at it for a second before blocking them because even though you wanna help it's none of your business?

And people reblog it saying "haha thats our host" or "thats me" like that's normal behavior? Guys?

Or posts from non-hosts making jokes about how their host treats them and you have to hold yourself from commenting "that's abuse" because holy SHIT it goes so far sometimes.

And it's always the same kind of hosts that complain and talk shit about persecutors. Like my guy, you're abusing them. Of course they hate you.

I just saw someone post about their host forcing them to follow lifestyles and beliefs they personally don't have for years. No, not masking. Tell me this isn't controlling behavior. Straight up taking things they enjoy from their lives. Restraining them.

Hosts can be abusers too. Stop treating others (especially persecutors) like shit oh my god.

If you wouldn't do the same to an outer person, you shouldn't do it to your headmates too.

—Another host.

[factually-era]

Hearing about this shit always blows our mind like. How hard is it to just. Hold some basic respect and care for others. Wtf

[frogsforthefrogwar]

I truly believe any neurodivergent person can be framed as manipulative if their doctor dislikes them. What is masking if not manipulation if you view it uncharitably enough?

[frogsforthefrogwar]

it doesn't matter what your diagnosed with, solidarity with the "bad mentally ill people" needs to be a priority for you. No one is ever more than one bad mental health episode away from being labeled as manipulative and noncompliant