Contract for Awesamdude
Claire Keane
hello vonnie
wallacepolsom
🪼
taylor price
Stranger Things

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Kaledo Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
AnasAbdin
dirt enthusiast
Monterey Bay Aquarium

#extradirty
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
DEAR READER
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Mike Driver
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear
seen from Spain
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from France
seen from France

seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
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@peryo
Contract for Awesamdude
tommy: *plays the able sisters*
dream: TOMMY.
take your son to work day: supervillain edition
The Full Anemoi Cycle
//based on The Oh Hellos anemoi album
Bonus Art of our beloved mumza for my Oh Hello SBi series :]
“maybe the curtains are blue because the author just liked the color blue” set human critical thinking skills decades back
you get it
i would rather die than think critically about some bullshit "metaphor" just say what you fucking mean don't be a little pussy who has to hide their words
oh, sorry, of course sir, i have some books for you right here <3
Want to learn something new in 2022??
Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)
40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)
Excellent basic crochet video series
Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)
Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)
How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)
Another drawing character faces video
Literally my favorite art pose hack
Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??
Introduction to flying small aircrafts
French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding
Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)
Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)
Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)
Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:
Calculus 1 (full semester class)
Learn basic statistics (free textbook)
Introduction to college physics (free textbook)
Introduction to accounting (free textbook)
Learn a language:
Ancient Greek
Latin
Spanish
German
Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)
French
Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)
what if people made human versions of iconic tumblr posts and shipped them
no. no no no
Someone please draw the color of the sky as a very tall twink.
Oh shit, I'm an artist. Hold up.
Personally, I like his shoe laces. I bet you'd never guess where he got them.
Dunno if anyone’s done this yet but…
i love how this is so uniquely Tumblr™ that no one from any other website would get this.
Im... Im not sorry
I decided to make it worse
Sexy Leg Einstein Post
Gradient Zone Post
and MishaPocolypse join the group
color theory hospital post
I want you all to know that I despise every single one of you.
I'm just saying that we can totally make post revival Tommy (especially in snowchester aus) an old woman spiritually.
Wanna see but your hands shake like a bitch? Call over Michael so he can use his steady hands to thread the needle.
"When I was your age I was living on my own and independent" "Tommy, at Michael's age you were a street orphan" "Never said that was a good thing"
"it's gonna snow. I feel it in my bones"
Tubbo opens one of those tin cookie boxes to get a lil snack and it's just buttons.
Tommy will stop Ranboo as he's leaving the house for a syndicate meeting, just to wrap a knitted scarf around his neck and put a knitted hat on his head because it's way too cold to go out like that. "Tommy, I'm an enderman. We kinda don't get hot or cold." "Well if temperature doesn't matter then a few more layers won't kill you either"
Tubbo will eat 3 big slices of a cake Tommy made, then when he declines a fourth piece Tommy will be like "oh, you didn't like it?" "No Tommy if I didn't like it I wouldn't have eaten 3 slices already" "good good" *Tommy puts another slice on his plate*
You know all those berry bushes? Tommy will pick a few berries and sprinkle some vanilla sugar on top of them for Michael as a lil treat.
*sees Michael* "oh what a handsome lil lad"
*sees Fundy* "oh! You've grown so much!" "Tommy I've been fully grown for years-"
He always has a piece of candy on him
He will absolutely make way too much food every single time. Ranboo brings some of the leftovers with him to syndicate meetings.
I love this. This gives me life.
Also, let me add a few:
Tommy spends at least a few hours a day complaining about his various aches and pains. Tubbo really wishes he wouldn't do that while working in his mine and making them actively worse, but it's Tommy we're talking about here.
If my grandma taught me anything is that at a certain age you lose all diplomacy. Tommy didn't have much of that to begin with, and revival punched the last few drops of it out of him. Tubbo: "Now, Michael, remember to be careful with other people's builds, your uncle was exiled once for messing with one" Tommy: "That's bullshit, I was exiled because my stalker had more power than he should have and it shows, fuck you"
Listen to the Sunday Prime sermons at maximum volume because his hearing got f*cked over by all the tnt. You can hear it even from outside the mansion.
"Today is gonna rain, the air is all humid, I can feel it my throat" "It's completely sunny outside Tommy" (it starts raining an hour later)
Tommy sees literally any of his friends with no food in their hands: "You're so skinny, here, I got you a little snack, eat up".
Generally hands everyone food constantly because he has struggled with malnutrition for a long ass time and he's gonna make damn sure that none of his friends ever go through that.
Teaches Michael, Fundy, and Yogurt how to knit over some tea and war stories.
Tubbo makes him one of those rocking chairs as a joke but it flies by Tommy completely and he loves the chair so now tubbo keeps coming home to one of those old time scenes with the fireplace lit, Tommy in the rocking chair, knitting while telling another earstory to Michael who's lying or sitting on the floor in front of the chair, listening attentively.
There's? Tea times now?? Neither tubbo nor Ranboo remember even buying this whole cute, painted tea set. (Though the tea is p good and the snacks are amazing)
Tommy "I'll feed all of you fuckers through this winter" innit
"Tommy, we live in a snowbiome. It's always winter."
"I didn't really expect visitors so I just put together a little something" *wheels in a fucking family dinner*
He keeps slipping any of the kids a candy or a diamond whenever he sees one.
The diamonds are obviously ranboos
Listen. If Connor can be arrested for impersonating a veteran then Tommy can absolutely get a veteran discount.
He will also dish out lifelessons that are just fucking..... "Sharing knowledge with others is important so always call a bitch a bitch" "finish what you started. So don't stop at 2 lifes, take all 3 before the asshole can become an even bigger threat and ruin you even more" "don't be problematic, Michael" "if you never tell your dad he's your dad then he can't break the delusion and correct you. So simply don't." "Sometimes. Robots are better than people." "You can lead a ghost into a prison but you can't lead him out. So don't" "any animal is either a dog or a horse." "Sometimes your therapist quits to become a drugdealer and that's ok" "anyone can be an older brother and any older brother can betray you and break your heart. Also your skull."
Tommy’s life advice is always just like that. “1 out of 4 green-coded people is gonna be a bitch, so be careful around them” “Never get married, it’s a wimp move, no offence Ranboob and Tubster” “Dying is not pog, so just don’t” “If you ever see somene wearing a mask run away and change your name, face, and backstory” “Carrots and blue are the best cure to sadness” “Don’t get marriad to a pumpkin because they will all leave you” “Apparently it’s okay to blow up a country if it isn’t yours. If it is you get stabbed, so don’t” “NEVER mess with a woman’s Targay”
“Back in my days people actually fought for something” “Wasn’t that something drugs?” “But they were good drugs Ranboob”
Tommy somehow manages to keep a variety of flowers alive and flourishing despite the hars weather of Snowchester. Tubbo and Ranboo are convinced it must be magic.
“This house is a mess!” literally every surface is shining clean. There is one hair on the floor. Unacceptable.
“I also prettied up a bit that old suit you gave me to mend” Ranboo’s suit is now covered in little flower patterns. It’s the only one he uses to go to syndacate meetings.
He calls every potion he makes “an old family recipe”
Jack initially came over from time to time to complain about the loud volume of the Sunday Prime sermons, but ended up staying over more frequently for the tea and biscuit. They now sound like two old ladies arguing over old war stories every time they meet
4 out of 4 green coded people will wrong you and in Tommy's case that's just a fucking fact
Also yeah. Jack tends to fall in a very "old man" mood around Tommy. "I crawled out of hell with my own two hands and all I got for that was absolutely nothing so never trust anyone people won't appreciate you. *Angry mumbling*" "your 'uncle mimi' is a fucking prick but by prime or XD or whatever larger than life prick out there. Does he make some good biscuits" "I didn't even need some prick to gently lift me out of hell. All I needed was arm grease and determination!" "Young people and their 'therapy'. What's next? Processing your traumas in a healthy way? Not using a single person as a scapegoat for all your problems? Fuck off"
what are some words that sound like they mean something other than their actual meaning? i’m obsessed with “pulchritude” which means “beauty” but sounds like it’s a measurement of how quickly an animal dies when you poke a hole through it
“lugubrious” describes something that looks sad but sounds like it describes a thick, slow-moving liquid
“bucolic” which sounds like some kind of hacking plague cough but which actually means, like, soft, lovely, pastoral. like when something is called bucolic my instinct is to recoil and then i’m like oh wait that’s like country life or something innocuous. i’m not about to catch something and die horribly.
well I mean you probably will, but at least it will be in bucolic surroundings.
“Natty” sounds like it should mean run-down and shabby, but in fact means neat and tidy.
“hospitable” sounds, ironically enough, inhospitable.
I always thought hirsute means something like, vaguely intellectual. Like the kinda adjective you can apply to an opinion.
No, it's hairy. It always was hairy why do I never learn
I’m still convinced it’s spelled hirstute
“doughty” sounds like it means fussy or maybe frumpy (like “dowdy”) but it actually means “brave and persistent”
“dreadnought” is what, “afraid of nothing”? but usually we put “dread” in fantasy names to make them sound scary, like “the dreaded nothing”.
Pusillanimous.
It means cowardly.
It sounds like it should refer to something somewhere on your body that absolutely should not be there and requires medical attention.
Vermillion should be a shade of green, not red (maybe it sounds too much like viridian, which does mean green).
And when I learned that puce means a shade of grayish red/purple, that also felt wrong. Puce should also be green.
"Crepuscular" means of or resembling twilight, but always looks to me like it means something to do with a blood infection or other debilitating bodily condition. (Probably my brain is making a false connection to "corpuscles".)
“crepuscular” makes me think of geometry, for some reason.
“effervescent” means bubbly, but it makes me think of a cross between sparkly and iridescent.
This is exactly how I feel about "redoubtable." As an adjective to describe a person, it looks like it should mean unreliable, like somebody who never shows up when you need them to.
But no, it means FORMIDABLE AND IMPRESSIVE. How even.
This is what happens when you create a language by committee.
angels, deciding what shape to take when interacting with The Humans: well….eye contact is important to humans, right? they find it reassuring when they can see the eyes of the person they’re talking to. so if we have LOTS of eyes, in very visible places, that’ll be even MORE reassuring
can’t stop thinking how much sense it would make if every design choice angels made was just a misguided attempt to Relate To The Humans. imagine how those conversations went
wings: “humans don’t like things they can’t understand, so if we’re going to levitate we should have wings. in fact we should probably have lots of wings, since we’re so big and impressive. humans like wings”
loud, booming voices: “fuck off Azrael the humans needs to be able to hear us.”
glowing: “no no no, it’s about visibility, right? the main human sensory organ works by detecting light, so if we emit light…”
wheels: “why the hell are you shaped like that?” “piss off, the humans are really proud of this invention”
multiple faces/eyes: “it makes me relatable” “i swear to God it doesn’t–” “i need to see in every direction” “ Azrael you are a supernatural messenger of god you do not need–” “THE HUMANS NEED TO KNOW I’M WATCHING”
multiple limbs: “humans have lots of limbs! they like limbs” “look i let you keep the wings but–” “how do you expect me to walk?” “70,000 feet is not a reasonable number of feet, Azrael!” “fuck off i’m ENORMOUS”
general gross misapprehensions of biology: “holy shit are your wings made out of eyes?” “look before you say anything i’m like 100% sure i’ve seen animals who have both wings and eyes. and you can fit so many more in this way!” “….you godforsaken googly-eyed genius”
#and this is why angels got so boring in the new testament after the Updated Guidelines were rolled out. “Four limbs???? i’m only allowed a maximum of FOUR LIMBS????? this is BULLSHIT”
#alternatively all the reported sightings of creepy ass angels was literally just the SAME angel #just the same freak who kept changing its meatsuit for funsies before god caught on
ok i have REFINED my theory!
Old Testament Angels look like that because life in the ocean outnumbered life on land, so naturally when they visited earth they modeled their appearance on the most common lifeforms. Hench you get things like
radial symmetry (i.e. angels shaped like spheres) which is objectively cooler than bilateral symmetry (starfish understand this)
Very Numerous Limbs (2 is not the average number of arms in the ocean)
random glowing (bioluminescence)
just generally being objects of Absolute Terror to land dwellers
a thousand eyeballs being the Norm (have you seen scallops)
in the majority of inhabited Earth areas (i.e. anything deeper than the continental shelf) old school angels would actually pass as Normal And Relatably-Shaped Lifeforms
this checks out
I think you all need to know the actual reason that seraphim have six wings–with two they covered their faces and with two they covered their feet and with two they flew–because it’s awesome.
So, first thing, in most of the Hebrew Bible nobody can look directly at God’s face and live. God is simply too amazing/great/alien. You see God’s face, you die, not because God wants to kill you (God doesn’t!) but just … because it’s the inevitable result of contact with God’s holiness. (This is responsible for such incidents as the time God mooned Moses. Moses wanted reassurance, and asked to see God. God said, “well, you can’t see my face, but how about this. You hide in that crevice in the rock over there, and I’ll cover you up so you’re safe, and then I’ll pass by, and when I’m safely past you can look at my back, k?” And that’s how it happened.)
Anyway, even angels can’t bear to look at God, which is why the seraphim cover their faces in God’s presence. All the weird stuff you all have just been attributing to angels? Can be applied to God with at least as much plausibility.
And then we come to the seraphim covering their feet. Or, perhaps I should say “feet.” Because the Hebrew language, like many languages, has some euphemisms for genitalia. One of them is to call them “feet” or “hands.” This is how, for example, Ruth gets Boaz to marry her. She goes in and lays down at his “feet.” Wink wink, nudge nudge.
So when Isaiah tells us the seraphim are flying around covering their “feet” with a pair of wings, what they’re actually doing is this:
Gaud: makes a weird theory
The Bible: is somehow even weirder
this got tagged as “#the best non-robotfucker post on this website” and I’m super proud of that actually
IN HONOUR OF THE RETURN OF ABUSIVE C!DREAM…
The Way Of Kings is an ongoing, assassin AU Dream SMP fanfiction that just hit 50k words. It updates every Thursday, and is expected to be longer than my previous longfic, Crown Of Straw, Sword Of Gold, which stands at a whopping 186k words. (Like enemies to lovers royalty DNF? Check out that fic for sure.)
The Way Of Kings is the story of Tommy and Dream, a young, winged assassin and his vicious guardian, whose lives are thrown into chaos when they are tasked to kidnap — kidnap, not kill — the half-enderman son of the notoriously merciless King Sam. Terrified for the safety of his only child, Sam employs his most trusted advisor, Phil, to find the assassin he assumes is guilty of the crime, unaware that he and his son have helped that very assassin escape a death sentence in jail in return for his help catching the real culprits. Their paths intertwine in the most gruesome of ways, setting off of a chain of events that could leave their lives — and the kingdom itself — in flaming shambles. Yet somehow, a bit of love finds its way in there too. Whether it will be enough to stop the destruction is another question, though.
If you would enjoy Technodad (rip canon bedrock bros lmao), abusive exile-style Dream, and a strange little ender prince with more secrets than he knows, this is the fic for you. If you enjoyed my other works — Crown Of Straw, Sword Of Gold or A Very Odd Family, Indeed — then you would love this one as well. I’m working really hard on it, and it’s a ton of fun. Come join me for the ride!
Please heed the tag warnings. The Way Of Kings deals with graphic depictions of violence, child abuse, references to torture/mild body horror/starvation, and all the other gritty goodness that an abusive primeboys fic should have. It WILL, however, have a happy ending. I can promise you that.
After such an exciting day of lore, relax with something to read.
The Way Of Kings will not let you down.
Rhianna Pratchett confirming her father wouldn't be a """gender critical""" activist (whatever the hell those GCs stand for) if he were still alive
The GCs are Terfs. A specific type of transphobe. Quite a few British celebrity got recruited to their ranks and they have the money and clout to do a lot of damage unfortunately.
Terry passed away before Rowling started her downward spiral and played a significant role in creating the current toxic atmosphere around Trans rights in England . It is good to see that his daughter ,who is also a writer, stands up for human rights.
That’s despicable trying to “recruit” someone who’s DEAD. Not to mention there’s NOTHING in Pratchett’s books—including the ones of essays, articles, and speeches—to suggest he join in if he was alive.
And obviously his own kid would know his private opinions so hopefully the assholes will see her tweet and back the fuck off.
(GC stands for “gender critical”, when you see that it usually means that you’re talking to/about terfs who are trying to rebrand their image).
For those of you who are wondering who else the original tweet is referring to, they are talking about Margaret Atwood, a very prominent feminist author (probably best known for The Handmaid’s Tale). Because she is a feminist the terfs assumed that she’d naturally side with them, and it came as a massive shock (for some reason) when she very publicly opposed and humiliated all of terfdom.
But yeah I don’t know how terfs can possibly get through Discworld books without any kind of self-awareness but apparently they do. I’ve also seen them talking about how the Wives in the Handmaid’s Tale are all trans women (solely based on the fact that they are infertile). If you know anything about the plot or even the basic premise you’ll know how ludicrous that suggestion is.
Terf rhetoric basically revolves around throwing shit at the wall and then crawling around in anything that sticks, but the underlying transphobia is always present.
Rhianna Pratchett is the best.
“Terry Pratchett” is now a trending topic on twitter and everyone is just slamming the people who claim he would be transphobic. It’s been really nice to see
Also there’s this
And this. Bless @neil-gaiman
I’d already seen most of this on Twitter, but the Tom Hatfield tweet was new to me and got some laughs.
Also, this is the one that made me get all teary:
WEBSITES FOR WRITERS {masterpost}
E.A. Deverell - FREE worksheets (characters, world building, narrator, etc.) and paid courses;
Hiveword - Helps to research any topic to write about (has other resources, too);
BetaBooks - Share your draft with your beta reader (can be more than one), and see where they stopped reading, their comments, etc.;
Charlotte Dillon - Research links;
Writing realistic injuries - The title is pretty self-explanatory: while writing about an injury, take a look at this useful website;
One Stop for Writers - You guys... this website has literally everything we need: a) Description thesaurus collection, b) Character builder, c) Story maps, d) Scene maps & timelines, e) World building surveys, f) Worksheets, f) Tutorials, and much more! Although it has a paid plan ($90/year | $50/6 months | $9/month), you can still get a 2-week FREE trial;
One Stop for Writers Roadmap - It has many tips for you, divided into three different topics: a) How to plan a story, b) How to write a story, c) How to revise a story. The best thing about this? It's FREE!
Story Structure Database - The Story Structure Database is an archive of books and movies, recording all their major plot points;
National Centre for Writing - FREE worksheets and writing courses. Has also paid courses;
Penguin Random House - Has some writing contests and great opportunities;
Crime Reads - Get inspired before writing a crime scene;
The Creative Academy for Writers - "Writers helping writers along every step of the path to publication." It's FREE and has ZOOM writing rooms;
Reedsy - "A trusted place to learn how to successfully publish your book" It has many tips, and tools (generators), contests, prompts lists, etc. FREE;
QueryTracker - Find agents for your books (personally, I've never used this before, but I thought I should feature it here);
Pacemaker - Track your goals (example: Write 50K words - then, everytime you write, you track the number of the words, and it will make a graphic for you with your progress). It's FREE but has a paid plan;
Save the Cat! - The blog of the most known storytelling method. You can find posts, sheets, a software (student discount - 70%), and other things;
I hope this is helpful for you!
(Also, check my blog if you want to!)
i think if c!eryn broke c!dream out of prison would be sick, like imagine he’s been planning it after c!tommy said that he misses exile and that being with dream made everything a lot easier. they’ve been friends for ages, of course he wants what’s best for c!tommy, little does he know that dream is the last thing that tommy needs.
The idea of c!eryn trying to help and accidentally making everything seven times worse is hysterical and I want it to happen so bad
i’m such a weak bitch for the fantasy of “This Protagonist Is So Nice And Empathetic That It Saves The Fucking World” that shit’s so metal, kindness in media is punk as hell