RARE: Bob Marley Live In Concert! Perth. Western Australia. 1979.
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RARE: Bob Marley Live In Concert! Perth. Western Australia. 1979.
Are we in a Golden Age of Queer & Trans SF/F?
Hello and welcome to another ctan monthly update! It’s Pride Month, so today let’s talk about queer science fiction and fantasy. First some housekeeping: Mailchimp has been driving me nuts, with the newsletter sometimes displaying so tiny on mobile devices it was illegible. I’m trying on a new template today, with new fonts. Please let me know if this one looks better to you (or worse!) than before so I can keep improving it. Second, my apology this is a bit later than I intended, but I had knee surgery on Wednesday and as you can imagine it’s put a bit of a cramp into my schedule. I’ve discovered I would rather have my knee hurt and my brain work than be “pain free” but feel seasick from narcotics. Apparently opioids are not my friends! Bleah. And now to my slightly linkbait-y topic: are we in a “Golden Age” of queer and trans SF/F? Yes, yes we are, end of essay. Just kidding, of course I’m going to explain WHY my answer is yes. For the SFWA Nebulas Conference this month, I had proposed this question as a panel topic and was highly gratified it got chosen—even better, they let me moderate the panel, and SFWA populated it with a terrific slate that included Jordan Kurella, Charlie Jane Anders, Zabé Ellor, and L.P. Kindred. (I had also proposed “are we in a golden age of Asian SF/F?” which I also believe has a yes answer, but that one didn’t make the slate, so I’m trying to arrange it as a Zoom panel for later this summer for Capricon’s online programming. Stay tuned.) Jordan unfortunately had to miss the Nebs, so the other four of us soldiered on without him. One terrific thing about the slate of panelists is we had basically three generations represented. (If only we’d had a Boomer, we could have had four generations!) We each had different entry points to SF/F. So when I asked “Who was the first character in SF/F you read who you knew was queer?” we had four drastically different answers. Illustrating how far we’ve come: I, the Gen X “elder” on the panel, was the only one whose answer was a villain. Back when, it was a common trope to make a villain “extra evil” by slapping a coating of sexual deviance on them. Baron Harkonnen in DUNE was the first “gay” character I encountered. If only I’d stumbled upon Samuel R. Delany before Frank Herbert, eh? I didn’t get to Delany until I was in college. The first positive depiction of a gay character I could think of I read around 1990, in Ellen Kushner’s lovely book Swordspoint (Amazon, Bookshop), but the gay relationship between Alec and St. Vier is so delicately written there’s a kind of plausible deniability about it. But at least they’re both main characters—heroes, even! That book remains one of my faves to this day. Swordspoint was published in 1987, and right after I read it, another important book was published, Uranian Worlds, a bibliography compiled by Eric Garber and Lyn Paleo. Billed as “A Guide to Alternative Sexuality in Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror,” the book had first been published in 1980, and by 1990 needed a new edition because so many examples had to be added. Uranian Worlds was a complete bibliography of EVERY short story, book, or novella that included EVERY bit of representation of LGBTQ characters in sf/f/h for nearly fifty years… and it was only 280 pages long. Think about that. The editors of Uranian Worlds had scoured literature for every possible inclusion, small presses as well as large ones, queer lit mags as well as Asimov’s, for decades. And what they came up with just barely filled one not-that-big book. Nowadays, we have that much queer sf/f/h being published every year. If that ain’t a Golden Age, what is? The panel also talked about who the first SF/F writers were who we knew were queer or trans: for me it was Samuel R. Delany and Rachel Pollack (Rest in Peace, Rachel!) Now, I know more than I can count just from among my Twitter mutuals—and that’s not even counting the hundred-or-so queer writers I edited at Circlet Press! But speaking of writers being out. We discussed whether an author “owes” it to the audience to come out. Short answer: no. If you missed the discourse a few years back about “the helicopter story,” I won’t recap it here, but suffice to say it was just one high-profile example of an author being attacked online for apparently either being insufficiently “out” or not “visibly” conforming to audience notions of queerness, resulting in the author being treated like some kind of interloper or exploitative outsider…. which they might not have been. At this panel was the first time I felt there was consensus in the room that harm has been been done to queer and trans writers (by members of our own communities!) with the incessant questioning of “authenticity” and the demands on the public baring of identity. We’ve sharpened our knives to attack the systems that oppress us, but we can all too easily turn them on each other if/when we judge someone is “part of the problem.” As LP succinctly put it: we have to allow writers some grace. Zabé made an excellent point: you can’t treat sexual identity marginalizations exactly the same way you treat other marginalizations. Sexuality and gender are fluid, complex, and changing. There’s a huge difference between a white author pretending to be an author of color “for clout,” and an author who is in the closet or in transition writing about queer characters as a way to figure out their own sexuality or explore their identity. Charlie Jane mentioned that she and I know multiple writers who started out looking like “straight women getting off on writing about gay men” who are living as gay men now. Give people grace. Not everyone has the same safety, opportunity, or self-awareness to be “out.” In the late 80s and early 1990s, right after Swordspoint we had a small spate of queer flowering in SF/F, with Melissa Scott and Tanya Huff and Mercedes Lackey (Vanyel is the ultimate “bury your gays” trope, though…!) and others. Book publishing in the 1990s also went through a pro-diversity spasm, self-castigating about being too white, and SF/F being too male-dominated, as well. There was much talk about trying to diversify the writers being seen in anthologies, in best-of lists, and on award nomination slates. But the writers couldn’t just appear out of thin air. Not then. But they can now. We literally conjure them out of the aether—the Internet. What’s different now that has led to such increased numbers of queer and trans writers, but also the vastly increased representation of authors of color? It’s the Internet. The same Internet that is problematic as described above, nonetheless allows marginalized writers a visibility we wouldn’t have otherwise. It means that, for example, Hugo awards nominators can discover writers somewhere other than on a bookstore retail shelf. Editors can find and “meet” writers somewhere other than within New York publishing’s white-dominated cocktail circuit. This time when 21st century diversity initiatives have been launched, thanks to the power of the Internet, the writers and editors who emerged have been able to network and build a privilege structure of our own. Some of that happens with the help of SFWA, with things like the AAPI or BIPOC meetups at the Nebulas, and sometimes it happens with us building our own email lists, Discords, online magazines, anthologies, you name it. Instead of backsliding when the industry loses interest in the latest diversity “fad”, we’ve been able to keep expanding the opportunities for each other, to keep pulling each other up the ladder. It’s still not as strong or wide-reaching as some “old boy networks” out there, but SFWA itself is a far more diverse and welcoming place than it was in the 20th century, and the Nebulas conference really demonstrated that. There was much more said on the panel, of course, including what the four of us would consider a Platinum Age to be. (Btw, if you register as a Nebulas online attendee, btw, you can see the archived videos of all the panels from this year’s conference, including ours, and also participate in SFWA online programming all year round.) One final thought: it’s worth remembering that not only is this proliferation of queer and trans voices in the sf/f genres a massive improvement over 35, 25, or even 15 years ago, it’s also happening at the same time as a ton of book banning and book burning all across the USA. In fact, I believe book banning is so hot right now BECAUSE there are so many books coming out that don’t conform to the heterosexual conservative norms. SF/F has always been a place to dream of being different, and the genre is finally realizing its subversive potential. In the 1980s and ’90s we used to march through the streets chanting “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.” It feels to me like within the SF/F world, people finally have. DGC Vol 4 is live! Another month, another new edition! Volume 4 (of 13) is now live in Kindle Unlimited. In book 4, Moondog 3 hits the road for a major cross country tour and Daron must contend with a homophobic opening act, a budding friendship/attraction with a rock journalist, and the inexorable magnetism of Ziggy pulling him into his orbit every night on stage. READ IT NOW IN KU: https://amzn.to/3VuJvxN AND DGC VOL 1 is now WIDE! Book one is now on sale at various other outlets besides Amazon, although check out the “A+ content” I’ve added to the Amazon page, snazzy, no? Find vol one on Bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble paperback, Barnes & Noble Nook, and request the ebook to libraries through Overdrive. OR ADD IT TO YOUR GOODREADS TBR: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9447189-daron-s-guitar-chronicles WIP Report I’m excited to report that one of the short stories I wrote while trying to get my brain back in gear after I had COVID in September has sold to Julia Rios for Worlds of Possibility! The title is “This Goodly Frame, The Earth,” which is a Shakespeare quote because I failed to think of anything else and Shakespeare is a good plan B. It’s about intergenerational diaspora trauma among the women of a filipina-american family, eldest daughter syndrome, and what happens when a ship full of humans that can bend space and time returns to an Earth in climate crisis far sooner than expected. It’s kind of hopepunk, I guess? Meanwhile, Windmark, a.k.a. “the unexpected dragon book,” has passed 50,000 words, but I feel like I’ve barely gotten out of act one? But I’m notorious for misjudging how far into a book I actually am. Until I’m actually done I really can’t tell you where the act breaks or beats are. I just know when it is done, then it will be obvious. A wisecracking nonbinary power bottom just showed up to boss around the hero (from the bottom, of course) and is in danger of taking over the story. I think I’m having the problem that both my main characters are suppressing their emotions so much because of the past trauma that made them hate each other, that they are coming across kind of flat and all the secondary characters seem much more colorful and interesting! Clearly something has to crack soon… I’m also having the problem that I’ve set up a really misogynistic culture, which means our heroine and all the female characters are very much living under a constant threat of sexual violence. I know we’re in the post-Game of Thrones era, which was rapey as all get out, but I really did not set out to write what is essentially female body horror with this book. I sidestepped the issue in The Prince’s Boy by having no female characters… except in the end there is the body horror once the villain comes into physical contact with our heroes. I have to figure out where this one is going to land and how exactly my heroine is going to come into her power. It’s funny, I had half convinced myself to just write another all-male cast book… and then this female-bodied character put her foot down and demanded to be written. So I just have to figure out how to do her justice. AND NOW PHOTOS FROM THE NEBULAS CONFERENCE Met Nghi Vo in real life for the first time! Many Circlet Press alums were at the Nebs (and Moniquill won one!) Caught up with David D. Levine (another Circlet alum), here with Vela Roth and Amy Young-Leith (and me) With Kate Pennington. Who knows a lot about whales! And SB Divya. And I have way more photos than this but this is enough picspam, don'tcha think? Tour Dates & Upcoming Appearances 2024: - July 11-14: Readercon, Boston area - August 7-11: SABR National Convention, Minneapolis - October 16-20: World Fantasy Con, Niagara Falls 2025: - January 17-20: Arisia, Cambridge, MA (new hotel: Hyatt Cambridge) - March 12-15: ICFA, Orlando, FL - August 13-17: Worldcon in Seattle, WA Upcoming Cons Readercon last year was a really great time, with a very good outdoor hangout area that turned into a nonstop literary green room party. I just got my schedule and it looks like tremendous fun. July 11-13 in Quincy, Massachusetts (just a few miles south of Boston proper). My reading will be on Thursday night. Should I read from the unexpected dragon book? Or the hopepunk story? Or something smuttier? Hmmm…… Parting Thoughts Okay, no book recs this time, but I will leave you with a link to one recipe, because it is strawberry season here in New England, and that means it is strawberry PIE season, as well. It’s also the season when fresh basil starts showing up in the farmer’s market. Some years ago I took the idea for a dessert we often see: a sort of dessert salad of strawberries served cut up with chopped basil, with a dressing made of balsamic vinegar and maple syrup, but I made it a pie instead. Find the whole recipe at my blog: https://blog.ceciliatan.com/archives/2412 By next month maybe I’ll have read some of the books in my pile and will have some recommendations… I have to finish the proofs and edits on Daron’s books 11, 12, and 13 first, though! Until then! -ctan Read the full article
If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.
(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)
Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.
Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.
Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and
But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.
So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.
But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.
But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.
So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.
You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.
The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.
Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.
Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.
You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.
Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.
Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.
Never mind that last part.
And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.
Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."
To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.
It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.
So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:
Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.
oh hi hey there how u doin’ 💖✨
I keep forgetting what the differences are in the over the counter pain relievers, so I made a handy chart.
quick note that “anticoagulant” means “blood thinner” so DO NOT take aspirin w/ copious amounts of alcohol
i need to send this to my mom. she worries about the harshness of ibuprofen so she keeps trying to push acetaminophen on us GUESS WHAT DIDN’T WORK ON MY PIREOD CRAMPS MOM -hugs ibuprofen-
oh hey handy
ALL NSAIDs are anticoagulants–acetaminophen is the only thing on this chart that isn’t one. This is relevant to alcohol consumption but also to anticoagulant medication; I can’t take NSAIDs because I’m kept therapeutically anticoagulated. NSAIDs are also not safe for pregnancy, as they have been demonstrated to cause problems in fetal development.
Re: acetaminophen: “easy to accidentally overdose” actually includes even when you’re taking the recommended dosage over a long period of time. Basically, if you can avoid taking it, or take a lower dose in combination medications, you should.
Many people find that Excedrin or a generic formulation of the same is the best treatment for their migraines, and that is a combination of acetaminophen, caffeine, and aspirin, so claiming that aspirin doesn’t work for migraine is misleading.
Personally I’ve never found that acetaminophen alone provides noticeable relief from any pain, although my mother says it works for her headaches. It is, however, an effective fever reducer.
Had occasion to reference this again tonight, so it’s time for a reblog.
I gotta say, one of the greatest achievements of my 20s was that I learned (mostly) to differentiate between:
"I truly do not want to go" and
"I'm just feeling the Demand Avoidance, and I will like it once I get there."
Well, goodness, this one resonated much more than I was expecting. I mean, I get it. My mind was also blown wide open when I found out "demand avoidance" was a thing that existed, and that I'm not the only weirdo in the world who suddenly wishes it wasn't her birthday after anxiously waiting for her birthday for days.
Loads of people in the tags are asking how I do it? I feel this won't be groundbreaking advice, but here is what I have learned:
Previous experience. Really no way around it. Now that I hit thirty, I feel like I have done enough things to know, intellectually, from experience, what will feel nice if I overcome the avoidance, and what won't. For example, every time I go to the beach, I wake up early and would rather eat a tire than get off the bed. But I remember that every time I got up and went to the beach, I was glad I did it. So I just get up, feeling like shit, and get ready, feeling like shit, and I get to the beach and magic!! I feel great, I love the beach!! Sometimes you just gotta do it scared feeling kinda like shit.
Am I avoiding the thing or getting to the thing? I have a lot of demand avoidance around just, y'know, getting up, getting ready and going out the door. Universal human experience. If I notice that doing the actual thing (Swim in the pool!) sounds nice, but I'm avoiding having to rally myself to go do that (Fetch swimsuit! Sunscreen! Towel!), then I know it's demand avoidance and I should just fucking go.
Is the thing making me feel excited at all or just anxious? I have had previous occasions when I did the opposite; I convinced myself it was just demand avoidance when I really just. Hated the thing. And wanted to stop. If you feel a mix of excitement and dread, or excitement and anxiety, that might be demand avoidance. But if thinking of doing the thing just makes you feel actively anxious, then yeah. You don't want to do the thing.
Do the thing a little bit. Used often with dishes. I've seen this advice float around Tumblr a lot and it's correct. Commit to doing just a bit of the thing; a little bit of the thing; the smallest bit of the thing you can do. Getting started will make it clear right away if you don't want to do it (and in that case, you have permission to stop), or if you just having trouble getting started.
I don't know who needs to hear this but:
-"it only hurts a little" is still pain
-"I can ignore it" is still pain
-"I can cope with/manage it" is still pain
-"it's bearable" is still pain
-"I can push through it" is still pain
-"it doesn't hurt that much" is still pain
-"it doesn't stop me from doing x" is still pain
You don't need to be in agonizing pain to be in pain.
You aren’t ready for all of this!
April 28, 1977
Love Gun Photo Sessions (Rainbow)
Barry Levine's Studio - Los Angeles, California
📸 Barry Levine
"We experimented a lot with everything. That's how the series with the wildly multicolored, shimmering mylar background happened. It was 1977 and we had to do a Love Gun promotional shoot. I set it up in my studio and I wanted to get a series with different colors in the background because we had been using a lot of blacks and greys up to that point. I got these colored mylar sheets and reflected some plain white light from them, sometimes adding just a little bit of blue gel to the mix. I pulled the light a little out of focus because the patterns on the sheets were very odd, and I wanted to get really vibrant colors and images from the mylar. These shots appeared on magazines and newspapers all over the place. Some mylar shots, as well as other images I photographed, were included on the cover of KIϟϟ' World Tour 77-78 program. If you look really carefully, you can tell that those same shots were the photo models for the gatefold etchings inside Double Platinum, as well as the solo album covers, although we didn't have either of those projects in mind when we decided to shoot that day." - Barry Levine
Hey so this was posted on Twitter by @kbspangler and I saw it this morning and uhhhhh. Anyway, if you have been telling yourself things are fine and normal with you despite some signs that maybe they are not, please look at this.
How the FUCK do you get to green?! That doesn't even sound realistic!
It takes a long time.
[ID: A chart that ranges from green to red. Green is labeled “Thriving: I got this”. Yellow is labeled “Surviving: Something isn’t right”. Orange is labeled “Struggling: I can’t keep up”. Red is labeled “In Crisis: I can’t survive this.” Each section further describes what each section means.
Under Thriving are the examples: calm and steady, with minor mood fluctuations. Able to take things in stride. Consistent performance. Able to take feedback and adjust to changes of plans. Able to focus. Able to communicate effectively. Normal sleep patterns and appetite.
Under Surviving are the examples: nervousness, sadness, increased mood fluctuations. Inconsistent performance. More easily overwhelmed or irritated. Increased need for control and difficulty adjusting to changes. Trouble sleeping or eating. Activities and relationships you used to enjoy seem less interesting or even stressful. Muscle tension, low energy, headaches.
Under Struggling are the examples: Persistent fear, panic, anxiety, anger, pervasive sadness, hopelessness. Exhaustion. Poor performance and difficulty making decisions or concentrating. Avoiding interaction with family, coworkers, and friends. Fatigue, aches and pains. Restlessness, disturbed sleep. Self-medicating with substances, food, or other numbing activities.
Under In Crisis are the examples: Disabling distress and loss of function. Panic attacks. Nightmares or flashbacks. Unable to fall or stay asleep. Intrusive thoughts. Thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Easily enraged or aggressive. Careless mistakes and an inability to focus. Feeling numb, lost, or out of control. Withdrawal from relationships. Dependence on substances, food, or other numbing or coping mechanisms. [/end ID]