Petty Spagetti

Alli, 20 y.o. Queer, avatar by viria. idk who did my header, but lmk if u do. Any pronouns.

[not-a-dis-a-ppointment]

Paintings that scream "a lesbian and gay man who are best friends in a lavender marriage"

[Image 1: Untitled by Haddon Sundblom, Image 2: Evening on the River by Michael Malm, Image 3: Playing Their Song by Joseph Lorusso, Image 4: On the river by Puteiko Vladimir Grigorievich]

[thecyndimistuff]

[roboticoperatingbud]

[wenchyfloozymoo]

[lastvalyrian]

If you have time to frisk you have time to whisk

[cryptid-sighting]

I hate the future man this shit sucks so much

[christianstepmoms]

they really are out here wasting gold, copper, pcb, and all sorts of tech resources just to overcomplicate and Reinvent the Window

[beaft]

my main requirement in a partner is someone who's willing to "yes, and" me. if i say something completely insane i need them to just pick that up and run with it and commit to the bit until we wind up with a conversation that's funny to us but completely incoherent to everyone within earshot. actually now that i'm typing this out i've realised my ideal relationship might just be "shitty improv comedy duo"

[beaft]

my other requirement in a partner is if i make a weird noise they have to make the same weird noise back to me and then we keep doing that until something interrupts us

[femme-bo]

whoever came up with love languages did not consider the butch ones:

• give acorn

• give rock

• tolerate cold hands on their warm tummy

• receive bite

• hand me things while I do my makeup

• get spooned

• stare at me

[the-quasar-hero]

I’m going to list off items and you just tell me if any catch your interest, okay? Here we go:

Lesbian chips

Explosive wallet

Licorice toothbrush

Burger that transports you to the cook’s childhood home

Hairy glasses

Smooth towel

Pillow full of sand

A fan that spins at uncomfortable speeds

Rose gold shovel

Perfectly straight corkscrew

A gay jeep

The last sip of the first wine ever made

Extraordinarily deadly fidget spinner

A teacup set made from tungsten

Glass grassblades

A blue water bottle of green water

Shark that knows how to do taxes

A copper ring engraved with a language unknown to all and two sizes too big

Sheet of drywall that repairs itself

Vibrating leather jacket (cannot stop shaking)

A bowl of sunlight

Taxidermized Komodo dragon that still moves

A book of lies that are true

The sharpest needle in the universe

A toilet paper roll made of salmon meat

[vapid-gay]

A rose gold shovel, a bowl of sunlight, and a shark that knows how to do taxes are most interesting to me

[the-quasar-hero]

[sword-and-nightingale]

[skin-slave]

[airlocksandaviariesarchive]

Looks like we can’t isolate, ignore, ibuprofen our way out of this one boys

[primeemeraldheiress]

[ultirex]

“feeling like a person again” collection

[nicetomeetmew]

This collab was not on my 2023 bingo card

(source)

[bbcwhereareyou]

This fucking guy.

[lostinhistory]

The funniest response:

[puppybeargf]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

FIXED IT

[unfollowfriday]

i heard naruto is based on a true story

[radiofreederry]

$50 A DAY???

[gaytanic-panic]

[waymond-wang]

- I bust my ass for this family. - Hey, so do I! Those vases don't just make themselves. - They also don't make money.

BEEF (2023) cr. Lee Sung-jin 1.02: The Rapture of Being Alive

[introvertedx10]

[headspace-hotel]

This linguistic problem is only going to continue getting worse unless we fuck it in the ass now.

[were--ralph]

if Mulan came out tomorrow there would be so many republicans talking about the transgender agenda

[were--ralph]

Okay maybe I should have clarified "if the movie Mulan released tomorrow " and not "if Mulan the character came out as trans"