Off-Brand Phantom

V | Leo | 26 | They/She | Chronically Online Still here.

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the problem with me is i cannot differentiate what is & is not my circus and what are & are not my monkeys. this gives you mental health conditions

[literary-sparks]

“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid

[becherdireinen]

sorry i never responded to your text, i've been busy being paralyzed by my own inability to do basic tasks that are piling up.

[kind-of-human2]

Imagine learning that the jerkass guy you’ve been trying to reach out to for at least a month who just killed himself was actually a repressed trans woman and now you have to listen to everyone misgender her because how are you supposed to bring that up in casual conversation

[apollos-boyfriend]

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

[sherbertilluminated]

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

[thearrogantemu]

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

[theoppositeofprofound]

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

[goblinindenial]

Ah feel 'sif an Odyssian task is basically a poor sod mid ADHD

[haarlow]

A Pandorean task - just the act of starting it unleashes all manner of disasters.

[cyranope]

damoclean task: the thing you've been putting off long enough that it becomes a constantly hanging doom over your head

pyrrhic task: you can get it done but it's going to cost you

medean task: you can get it done and you don't care what it costs you

dionysian task: task that might not be -better- if you do it drunk, but -will- definitely be more fun

hegelochic task: it was a simple job, but your name will be recorded in the annals of history for how impressively you fucked it up

task of theseus: a project for which the parameters have changed so many times that you're not sure it IS still the same task

gordian task: ok technically there Is a Right Way to do this but it's going to be fiddly and awful and take forever and what if. what if you just said fuck it. and started slicing

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[cuteness--overload]

He's using all his strength

[princess-rosiebird]

A good game of string.. I see he's played before

[velartis]

“what radicalized you” bro EMPATHY

[puppygirllaika]

"what radicalized you" well in kindergarten they told me to share things and be nice to people.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the thing about being "good with kids" is all it takes is literally just not trying to control and mould them with every interaction. it's just being a normal person and engaging with them through normal interactions like having conversations and playing games. it's just being genuine and friendly and not perceiving them as lumps of wet clay you are there to shape. "oh you're so good with kids" thanks it's because I think they are people

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one time the mother of some kids I was tutoring asked me what my "secret" was to having such a great relationship with them and I asked her, with as much grace as I could muster, "when was the last time you had an interaction with your son where you weren't trying to teach him something or telling him what to do" and she just. couldn't answer

[314eater]

The hardcore way to eat ramen: 1. Boil water 2. Eat block of ramen 3. Drink boiled water 4. Snort flavored powder 5. Fuck bitches

[boredbug-deactivated20130822]

you looking for this my friend?

[semememes-blog]

why is there a gif for this

[tall]

[adonischildsupportcase]

[wodneswynn]

It's wednesday

[carys-the-ninth]

Any time I want something low-stakes to be mad about I think about how they cut bagels in St Louis

[carys-the-ninth]

Why

[homunculus-argument]

I'm not a "will help, no questions asked" kind of friend. Because I will ask questions. I'm just not gonna question your answers. Like yeah if we're friends I can help you get rid of a body, no problem, but I still want to know who it was and what happened. Not because I don't trust that you'd kill someone who didn't need killing or would help someone you shouldn't be helping - we wouldn't be friends in the first place if I didn't know you well enough to trust your judgement. I'm just curious as hell and I want to know things.

[engenever-beaver]

I love how this implies you chose your friends by their ability to kill right people.

[candyredterezii]

starting a collection

[deceasedcardinal]

[blupeeblep]

Like to charge, reblog to cast

[treasuredplanet]

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game