Too long for twitter, too short for the blog

[smbc-comics]

In the final round, they pelt you with eggcorns.

Check out the bonus panel on the site.

Upcoming book signings this summer.

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print.

[apjvff]

we are the last 100 bloggers...

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[vintageandroid]

i made a post like this before but I can't find it now. so. I'll just redo it.

What's the first "big news story" you remember from when you were a kid?

It's something I love to ask mixed-aged groups sometimes because I think it's really interesting to see the responses. I've gotten answers from the Olympics of [whatever year] to Watergate to more recent stuff from my niblings.

My first news thing I remember is the OJ Simpson trial. I vaguely remember watching the news with my grandparents before that, but that's the first story I remember, in part because my second grade teacher had us go play so she could watch the verdict 😂

[absolutelynotclassicusernam-blog]

I remember walking down the street and seeing a sign protesting George W. Bush’s war on Iraq, so I think that.

[smbc-comics]

The worst thing is how every time you yell at it, it acknowledges your suffering and tries to hug you.

Check out the bonus panel on the site.

Upcoming book signings this summer.

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print.

[smbc-comics]

And now I bully you with a wall of text.

Check out the bonus panel on the site.

Upcoming book signings this summer.

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[thestuffedalligator]

The best part of getting older is aging out of the demographic that gets killed in horror movies. I am now the age of the kooky local at the gas station who warns the band of college kids not to go to Camp Murderblood

[teratomarty]

Awhile ago, I took my intern out to an abandoned summer camp built over a desecrated Native burial ground and realised I’d become the eccentric academic who gets kids into horror movie situations in the first place.

[whyenn-reader]

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

[smbc-comics]

I once joked about this back when twitter existed and a Twitter Dominatrix told me that she'd done it plenty of times.

Check out the bonus panel on the site.

Upcoming book signings this summer.

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print.

[dyketrinitysantos]

part time sheriff, full time comedian

[oldhollywoodniall]

[walterlouis2]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[undeadentropy]

This is diabolical. Loud enough to notice, but virtually unidentifiable from a truck in motion. You pop the hood to see what's up and find nothing. You start it up and it doesn't make the noise. You go for a drive and it's fucking back. Psychological torture

[smbc-comics]

Actually, things were at their best during the last year of my life when I had no responsibilities.

Check out the bonus panel on the site.

Upcoming book signings this summer.

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print.

[uwillneverknowwho]

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

[wellsbering]

imagine your ex who you haven't seen in a decade (since he stole your car) shows up at your house. in the car. the one he stole from you. it looks like shit. your ex asks you to fix the broken car. then he tells you that the hot girl with him and his buddy (the one that helped him steal the car) is his new girlfriend. she is a member of the royal family and she looks capable of murdering you AND your ex with rage alone. you try to say hi. she does not say hi. no one admits it out loud, but you get the feeling that they're all running from the cops and they all want to hide out in YOUR house.

this is what happened to lando calrissian in the empire strikes back