resident Lover Girl

dispatch enthusiast, waterboy lover, hazbin fiend <3 | inbox: open!

[phntmhyv]

⋆·˚ ༘iris . . . 22 . . . she + her . . . personal blog and writing nook <3 welcome to my lil' museum of love and art -- this is a new blog; if you wish to see my old writing, please visit @xphntmhvx

mdni; writing blog, dark content, sfw + nsfw content ahead ! I primarily write for female reader but will write for male, ftm, or mtf, or gender neutral/fluid reader as requested !

itenerary — byi + writing rules | masterlist | about me

currently writing for hazbin hotel, helluva boss, black butler, phantom of the opera, v for vendetta, dispatch, and apothecary diaries !

[phntmhyv]

Good Omens season 3 has been on my mind lately so if anyone has requests for Aziraphale and/or Crowley x reader, send 'em my way <3

[wheel-of-fish]

Phantom Hands: Samuel Wyn-Morris

[autizm-bluat]

[do2faj]

Very very important periodical fit checks + height difference because I simply just couldn’t hold myself

[lunetheweird]

OP I AM HUNGRY OPPPPP

[do2faj]

Whenever I see someone get absolutely FERAL over the happy trail I drew I feel like a proud hunter whose traps are working efficiently

[qu4ntumch3m1calm3m0r13s]

Full on 🦋

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Going full overstimulated, desperate, brain blanked rag doll when you're in bed with Herm.

Every other second of the day you are composed and in charge. Knowing exactly what to say and do, being to go to person for any disaster that happens in the workplace or at home.

But when Herm lays a hand on you...it's all gone. Every composed thought, every witty reply, every semblance of control just...lost. Melted away.

Begging and sobbing and whimpering. Moving on auto pilot to bite and kiss and grip and bounce. Mumbling out half sentences between moans and choked up groans. Head lolling from side to side and eyes fluttering closed.

Nothing but Herm. His hands, his tongue, his cock. Herm who is soaking you through. Herm who is whispering sweet praises and doing soft check-ins between your clumsy grabbing hands. Herm who makes your mind go brrr.

The post nut clarity is always a bit embarrassing. Your whole body weak and sore. Sticky and itchy as he lifts you on shaking legs to the bathroom. Cleans you up and runs you a bath, peppering kisses against your cheeks and shoulders the whole time. Soaking the events away in soapy bubbles, leaned up against him as you slowly come back to yourself. Remember that you are indeed human and you can compose thoughts on occasion.

Just not when Herm is touching you like that.

[phntmhyv]

I love Valentine’s Day, not because of my partner, but because I’m a wretched romantic that’s a sucker for anything involving love, good or bad.

[rexxywuzhere]

Waterboy hc: he has scaring around his fingertips and toes, ears, from frostbite in the past. He’s had it like- multiple times at this point, he has a bit of nerve damage even.

I feel like he’d just accept it as a very normal thing that he just *has* so when his gloves come off the first time the Z Team is like WOAH what the fuck dude?? Why are your hands purple. And he’s like “aaaahhh haha yknow, winter-does- winter is, it’s cruel.” brushing it off like it doesn’t look gnarly and painful. They all have scars but the concept of frostbite just seems extreme to them all.

[phntmhyv]

you guys think Prism wears body glitter to make her even more reflective?

[phntmhyv]

thinking about being invited to Robert's housewarming party and spending the entire time dancing and talking and having fun. except your eyes keep searching for Waterboy within the small crowd. you search for him while he's getting a drink and talking to Malevola and his lingering stare finds you while you're dancing with Prism and Visi. Radio by Bershy starts to play and it takes all of your willpower to stay where you are because making your way over to him at this point would no doubt ultimately end up with the Z-team finding out that you're together . . .

[phntmhyv]

sorry I haven't been responding to asks, it's not that i'm not interested in them (I've started a draft for each), it's just that my semester has just started and I'm bombarded with new classes and emails from teachers and starting a podcast and learning my songs-

I'll starting responding when I get back into the swing of things which should be just a couple weeks!

[cemetexia]

speaking of rare fluff, do you have any fluffy/romantic/sfw headcanons for Waterboy that you haven’t shared yet? *eyes emoji*

yes i do!! heart emoticon heart emoticon

-waterboy is the kind of guy to fall in love during the friendship phase of knowing you, but won’t actually say “i love you” until he’s certain it’s not too early

-the day he falls in love with you and looks you in the eyes, the sun seems to glow around your face and this plays in his head

-hopeless romantic!! very very hopeless, he’s the kind of guy to lean on his mop and sigh dreamily when he sees you pass by in a room

-just as he feels more comfortable around robert, he begins to feel more comfortable around you. his stutter lessens, he talks more, he gets a grasp of his sentences because he doesn’t want to risk any conversation with you going awry

-will open doors for you! his grandma taught him to be a gentleman and he picked up habits from older romantic comedy movies they’ve watched together

-he likes all love languages, but his favourites are quality time and acts of service!

-he loves doing things for you that make you smile whether that be getting you a glass of tea/coffee in the morning, doing that one household chore you hate doing, or helping you clean the house during the weekend. a clean home feels nice, but a clean home with you is even nicer

-adores dates where you do your own thing together— say you’re in bed reading a novel coupé recommended and he’s laying next to you looking for metal bands to listen to and add to his playlists. just being around you makes him happy

-if you’re a hero alongside him, obviously you two have synergy. he puts a little more effort in his work in hopes it will impress you, and he gets all excited when you tell him you’re proud of him

-if you two cross paths during your respective routes, he’ll give you a big kiss before leaving you be

-speaking of, he loves kisses! literally anywhere; his hands, his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his lips especially, his shoulder if you’re shorter than him and can’t reach his lips, the top of his head if you’re taller, he gets all flustered when he feels your lips on him

-he even giggles if you add a big “mwah!” to your kisses

-would be hesitant at first out of fear of making you uncomfortable with his wetness, but he loves holding your hand as well. if you’re nearby, except him to take your hand in both of his and feel his clothed fingers feel the knuckles and tendons

-he finds you absolutely fascinating, like a blossoming plant in his bedroom garden with a colour he hasn’t grown before. he studies you, tries his hardest to learn every detail about you so he can please you as best as he can

-he finds himself feeling undeserving of you, especially after you do him a favour, but the insecurities wash away when you take him in your arms and shush him with soft kisses, telling him he’s everything you could ever ask for and that you’d cut him open and crawl into his skin if it meant feeling his heart beat every day

-he’s alternative c’mon, he has an appreciation for the macabre! would love an s/o with odd and scary interests as well, but would love you either way

-his grandmother knows everything about you as he begins to fall deeper and deeper into his affections for you, she’s happy knowing he’s found someone to spend his life with and constantly bugs him to introduce her to you

-would love hot baths together! he runs cold most of the time so he often sets his showers and baths to boiling. and having you perched on the edge of the tub running your hands through his hair with soap and telling him how handsome he is? he’s melting at the thought

-has plenty of photos of you! loves taking pictures as a habit he’s picked up from his grandma, and his gallery gradually fills until a large percentage is just you. he loves the way you confidently smile after a mission’s success

-will fall asleep on your chest if you’re having a movie night. he gets so relaxed laying on top of you and feeling your body heat beneath his that he can’t help but snooze. he snores so fucking loud

-he can very easily crack his bones! some mornings, you’ll wake up to the view of him twisting and contorting his body, turning his skeleton into a wet sheet of bubble wrap

-if you wake up before him and you sit up to stretch, he’ll watch you with the most love doped eyes, rubbing a hand on your back to feel the warmth. he misses your warmth. come back and hold him a little longer >:(

-he spends his breaks with you! i headcanon that he smokes VERY sparingly so as to not bring the smell back to his grandma’s, but if you smoke he’ll let you place a cigarette between his lips and light it with the ember end of yours

-his leads to him holding you by your hips as you light his cigarette with yours, bringing you close as you both inhale, then exhale the smoke i to each other’s mouths with a kiss :)

-refuses to let you get up to get a glass of water in the middle of the night if you’re thirsty— herm’s right there, just let him give you some straight from the source

-likes to plan your wedding together! you want an intimate courthouse scene? he’ll invite his grandmother and robert as his best man. you want an extravagant event? only the best and most perfect night for his lover. he’d prefer a smaller event though!

-just the thought that one day, he’ll wear a ring on his finger that reminds him he’s legally yours <33 so sweet

[userfish]

my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.

[creez-un-compte]

Your monkeys ?

[thereisalesbianintheforest]

those aren’t mine.

[phntmhyv]

I do not wanna put my boy through angst but I’m imaging how Waterboy must of dealt with being bullied, especially if he didn’t want to burden his grandma and if his parents werent around much….

Imagine him sitting in an empty bathtub, silently crying to himself or curled into a ball and just sitting there for hours until he manages to fill the tub up himself with the very ability everyone else makes fun of him for.

He sits and he just lays there until his back aches from the angle and the cold of the tile, and just sinks into the water as it slowly rises. It’s cold and constantly reminds him that he’ll never be able to rid himself of this burden. He’ll forever be soggy and damp and gross and unlovable and forever untouched by family or friends. But no matter how much it hurts, he simply can’t tell anyone how he feels because that’ll be asking too much and god forbid he becomes even more of a burden.

inspired by that one artwork by @/iridescent_petrichor on insta

[cemetexia]

mmmmm do we think waterboy cums in his pants just from a kiss? I think so…

oh he totally does the first time y’all make out!!

he’s so emotional when you pull him in to kiss him deeper, holding both of his hands as your lips kiss and rub in a rhythm he’s scurrying to match. his face is red, heart pounding in his chest as his mind runs a thousand thoughts a second. your hands feel so nice against his skin and you taste so good and he loves you so much— he shivers when he feels your tongue run across the surface of his bottom lip.

a hum of curiosity spills from your lips to his when he suddenly leans his weight over you, his hands tightening their grips on yours betwixt your fingers as his body trembles with ruin. cum squirts in long, watery ropes from his cock, soiling his wetsuit from the inside. he gasps and whimpers onto the flat of your tongue, tears stinging the corners of his eyes when he finally comes to the realization that he just came in his pants solely from kissing you. you didn’t need to touch him anywhere but his hands to make him cum.

he stutters a string of “sorry’s” before taking his hands out of yours, opting to pull you closer for an apology make out session.

[phntmhyv]

i think herm would be so sweet with an s/o who’s depressed (not projecting at all…. whatttt) and who can’t bring themselves to clean or make themselves food some days. and ofc he’s a perfect source of hydration when they don’t want to get up to get water 🩷

you know he would just be the sweetest thing ever...

Herm's a caretaker, that much is obvious from the start. He not only takes care of his grandmother full time, wants to be a hero, and has graciously worked as a janitor, he also manages to keep an eye on you at all times.

He'll most likely notice your mood is off or changing before you do. He notices your lack of energy one day and is immediately on high alert. He starts leaving snacks and water bottles or tea on your desk when you decide to 'skip your lunch break' because of 'your workload'. Sometimes he'll even bring you food that either he or his grandmother makes after he notices you start bringing a mere bag of chips for lunch, just so that he'll have a reason to coax you into the break room and eat with him.

He's naturally affectionate, so the way he squeezes your hand or places a light hand on the small of your back as you walk doesn't seem like anything new. But it's his way of keeping you within arms reach of him.

He also notices right away if you haven't been sleeping. Whether you have bags under your eyes or if your movements are slightly slower than usual, he's insisting that you take melatonin or drink something warm before bed. If he lives with you, he makes an effort to turn of all big lights in your shared home, and only use smaller, warm lighting to help reset your circadian rhythm. He also finds activities for you both to do that don't involve screens so that he can reduce your blue light exposure.

Herm is actually a bit subtle when he makes these changes, hoping that you won't notice how he attempts to modify your daily schedule. He doesn't baby you, per se. The last thing he wants is to make you feel... weak. But he does always make sure you have everything you need.

And yeah, Herm is the king of hydration. He's able to pick up on signs of dehydration that you may be showing before you can even spot them. Whether it's in your hair, your eyes, your lips, literally anything, he's kissing you as frequently as he can. He likes to remind you how much you're loved and, well, if he can keep you healthy while doing so, then he will. He'll even insist on showering with you if you don't have the energy to.

He's pretty familiar with feeling bouts of depression that he's had to handle on his own, so Herman will be damned if he lets you go through the same thing.

His love language is acts of service, so he will do anything and everything with his power to distract your mind with something else, and make you feel like the most adored person on the face of the earth.