Aspiring himbo

PrinceJakeFireCake on Ao3. It only took me 7 years to put it here

[phoenixkaptain]

Dear Followers: terribly sorry

[brawlite]

honestly sometimes there's no better feeling than rereading a fic you've written and coming out of it going, "yeah that actually this DOES slap. exactly what i wanted to read. fucking nailed it."

[benzohoarder]

[figural]

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

[minothtime]

Basically, a translation could be:

I just think it's so interesting that people end up falling in love with their friends' boyfriends! I absolutely despise every single one of them. give me my fucking homie back you goddamn bastard

[liminalweirdo]

translation tags by @minothtime because they are so so good

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[viralfrog]

[littlegingermochipie]

lmao the guys are indonesian so basically what they said throughout the video is "le, le, le! oper, lae!" (le, le, le! pass it to me, lae!) and then "masuk! masuk! masuk!" (get it inside! get it inside! get it inside!)

note: this funny video made by user ahmaddolisir on instagram

[hollow-head]

"who do you self insert as when you read?"

This is me when I read:

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You're the secondary character in this type of media. (horror, comedy, apocalypse, cartoon, rom-com, documentary, reality TV show, etc) Are you surviving?

you are the secondary character in THIS media genre!!

Are you surviving?

yup!!!! I love it here!

yeah!!

Yeah but I'm not happy

I'd rather not but I will

I'm arospec and got romance save me

I am DEAD

results

Voting ended onJun 2

op note: all the submissions I get are really cool ideas!! Thank you!! Keep them coming!!

I am looking at you catboy. I don't know how you do it.

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

do you have some crazy family lore

yes

no

no but i know someone else's crazy family lore

results

Voting ended onJun 3

[phoenixkaptain]

I need to read all of Jujutsu Kaisen and Jujutsu Kaisen Modulo so I can write the Modulo Yuuji going back in time and absolutely wrecking his adult teacher fic that my mind has latched onto.

[were--ralph]

how good at video games in general do you consider yourself to be

fucking awful. i am playing on easy and not ashamed

i mean definitely not good

like. worse than average but i try my best and do ok

perfectly average idk

a little bit better than average, some might say

im objectively good. not the best but certainly better than average

p good

im preeeetty good borderline goated at video james

fucking goated, next

I am the best in my friend groups

i do not play video games. fucking nerds.

i only watch people play games, im like. a semi-gamer.

Voting ended onMay 30

[smol-smol-baby]

🧀👶

[phoenixkaptain]

I just think the hearts add a lot of comedy to this statement

[odinsblog]

Fairy godmother cranes guide their confused gator godchild back into pond

[drops-of-universe]

"craving a food means your body needs something that food can offer" now what the fuck does my body need with an ice cream

[syd-cudi]

it makes your brain happy! your body could use some joy too

[drops-of-universe]

no everyone shut up and listen. truths were said

[icannotgetoverbirds]

in all seriousness, if you're craving ice cream, it's likely that your body needs fat and carbs. If ice cream isn't an option for whatever reason, you can try to feed yourself something else with a significant amount of fat and/or carbs. You may also be dehydrated if you're craving sweets.

That said, sometimes your body and brain do genuinely just need a pick me up.

The more frequently you practice intuitive eating like this, the better you'll get at figuring out what it is that your body is asking for.

Also, a great trick is to take a look at what you're craving, note the nutritional contents (fat, carbs, protein, plant matter/fiber) and try and figure out what else sounds tasty for your particular craving. This can give you more data points to go off of. For instance, if you're craving ice cream, but a sweet roll sounds just as good, it's probably carbs your body is asking you for. That said, if you're craving ice cream and a sweet roll doesn't sound good at all BUT a bagel with strawberry cream cheese or avocado toast DOES sound good, you know it's fat you're needing.

If all you're craving is ice cream and nothing else sounds worth the effort, you may just need a low effort mood boost, which is also totally valid! This can also help you even if you can't have ice cream, because now that you know what your body actually wants, you know there are more ways to fulfill that order than the way it asked you to!

[myvanityisavirtue]

[haveievermentioned]

also, uh.. Migraines. I started getting a migraine and all of a sudden I just NEEDED Ice cream. I had some in the freezer so put some in a cup, went off, and it was instantly fixed. Turned out the cold in ice cream can alter the blood flow via the veins in the top of the mouth and that somehow can fix migraines? Ice water will do the same. But if you are getting a migraine, try getting ice cold water or ice cream to the roof of your mouth as a first step fix.

[vaspider]

I have genuinely never regretted listening to my body when I had a genuine craving.

A couple of months ago, when we were trying to get my insulin/blood sugar all set and I was struggling real hard, I also had a HUGE craving for shellfish. I generally don't eat shellfish on account of, you know, Jewish, but when all I could think about for DAYS was eating COLD SHRAMP RIGHT NOWWWWW, I went and got some.

I felt better right away, and my wife pointed out that we usually use sea salt in our food, which usually doesn't have iodine in it. She got us some sea salt with iodine, and I stopped dreaming of shrimp, and my blood sugar/insulin situation calmed down, bc iodine helps glucose processing.

Also like... even though it was extremely treyf, it made me feel good to listen to my body and give it what it asked for, even if it was a "forbidden/bad food" the way that most Americans talk about ice cream. Sometimes just listening to yourself is what you need as much as anything.

It makes you more confident in your body, and that's rad.

Also, I use that ice cream trick for migraines all the time.

[penrosesun]

The Talmud actually directly addresses the topic of severe cravings and for the record, eating treyf in your situation was absolutely following halacha:

מַתְנִי׳ עוּבָּרָה שֶׁהֵרִיחָה — מַאֲכִילִין אוֹתָהּ עַד שֶׁתָּשִׁיב נַפְשָׁהּ. חוֹלֶה — מַאֲכִילִין אוֹתוֹ עַל פִּי בְּקִיאִין, וְאִם אֵין שָׁם בְּקִיאִין — מַאֲכִילִין אוֹתוֹ עַל פִּי עַצְמוֹ עַד שֶׁיֹּאמַר דַּי. MISHNA: With regard to a pregnant woman who smelled food and was overcome by a craving to eat it, one feeds her until she recovers, as failure to do so could lead to a life-threatening situation. If a person is ill and requires food due to potential danger, one feeds him according to the advice of medical experts who determine that he indeed requires food. And if there are no experts there, one feeds him according to his own instructions, until he says that he has eaten enough and needs no more. (Yoma 82a)

[vaspider]

That does actually make me feel a lot better, thank you!

(Seriously, fixing my iodine levels REALLY helped my body regulate sugar.)

[kittydesade]

Iodine levels are a whole thing that’s been backgrounded in a lot of countries because we get it through iodized salt, but if we stop getting our required iodine it can really fuck us up.

[phoenixkaptain]

My favourite part of Harvest Moon: Skytree Village is Edmond, who comments that it's a good time to read when it's sunny, rainy, morning, midday, and evening, tells you about crop mutations, and also has the funniest interaction with Sam.

My second favourite part is Sophia saying "anmimals" because I know intellectually that it's a typo but my heart says that's just how she pronounces it.

[phoenixkaptain]

One of the funniest things in Ovenbreak is Almond Cookie being genuinely judgemental over Rebel Cookie "resorting to theft" yet completely accepting of Roguefort Cookie doing the same. Literal favouritism. Hilarious.

Like, come on. This is so funny.

[calamitys-child]

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

[phoenixkaptain]

All of us should be talking about this. Look at her. Look at their little face. The head tilt? The smile? The arms tucked behind their back? This is so fucking cute I can't even stand it.