batman brainrot+

I post every few months with dumb stuff each time👍 (I do the same on Ao3 if you want fics: Phone_Duk)

[hazzymayy]

Returning to my roots

[icarusdiesatdawn]

Ted Lasso + text posts

[phoneduk]

hey are you actually black...?

I'm not, I'm Māori. ...was there indications I am black?

[nyukaart]

Teen dad Bruce(19y.o.) and Dick (8 y.o.) is my favorite thing

Bruce still being in College (med student) and deciding to adopt Dick just cause he can.Alfred is tired of the utter chaos these two bring Their dynamic is more like the Lego Batman movie more than anything honestly (they mean so much to meee)

[phoneduk]

Villain: *doesn't get a good look at Signal's costume and assumes that he's white like the majority of the batfam*

Villain: "You're only beating me up because I'm black! That's racist! Signal is racist!"

Duke: *stumped* "Firstly! You just robbed three different banks and took two people hostage. Secondly! I can't be racist. My TV is black."

[phoneduk]

The Batfam supporting Mo'vember

I think all of the boys would support Mo'vember (minus Bruce who won't on the principle it could give away his identity even though he donates millions each month).

Dick grows a magnificent moustache which he immediately shaves after the month is through after one of his siblings (Tim) made a comment about him looking a bit too much like a cop.

Jason actually grows a beard as well as a moustache and only shaves it after Roy tells him he's starting to look like Oliver.

Damian has those strong Arabic genes that allow him to grow a thick moustache despite his young age. He doesn't like the messy look and shaves after a week though.

Duke - grows a moustache, likes the moustache, keeps it into the new year, then suddenly looks in the mirror one morning and shaves it off. There are multiple complaints from his fans, both Signal's and Duke Thomas's.

Tim can't grow facial hair to save his life and by the end of the month still barely has facial hair much to his own annoyance and the amusement of his siblings.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Jason: I’m dating Roy

Bruce: Hmm (derogatory)

Jason: He has a daughter which makes you a grandad

Bruce: Hmm (delighted)

[arttuff]

this is canonically how tim added the pants to the robin costume

[phoneduk]

Soft Headcanons.

Damian: loves mythology and insists it's to better his disguise skills but he's really just fascinated by it. Not just Greek and Roman but Middle Eastern, Polynesian, etc.

Cass : loves sneaking up on people and does it to everyone at least once a week but gets annoyed when people do it back and ignores them.

Jason: insists hes got a stronger tolerance then everyone else. When he was younger and Bruce took him and Dick to a restaurant he'd challenge him to establish lemons with hotsauce on them and would then be annoyed when Dick wasn't that bothered by it.

Tim: had braces for like 5 years. He hated the braces and he hated that every orthodontist appointment they said he'd need them for slightly longer. When he finally got then off he didn't tell anybody and just showed p smiling except no one noticed and Jason just asked if he was feeling alright. Two months later Dick noticed and Tim keeps being pissy that his braces weren't actually as big of a deal as he always assumed.

Duke: quits coffee every two weeks in an attempt to be healthier but then when he has to get up early in the morning he forgets and drinks a cup and then the next day he's back to quitting coffee even though it never lasts.

Dick: Never learnt how to properly tie his shoelaces. Growing up in the circus he didn't really need shoes and when he did his parents got him easy slip-on shoes or shoes with Velcro. At the manor Bruce didn't realise for ages because Bruce tied Dicks shoes the first time and then he just forced his feet in without loosening it. As he got older Dick chose to just make up ways to tie his shoes rather than asking how to do it properly.

Bruce: does not comprehend the right amount of money to spend on gifts. He's rich, he spends his money, he doesn't see a problem. His kids who all grew up without money don't mind being given gifts, they do mind that they can't afford to reciprocate the same gifts because they don't have that sort of money. Bruce had to assure both dick and Jason as kids when he found them upset because he just spent so much on them and their plans for his birthday amounted to a drawing and macaroni art.

[phoneduk]

Hi so, you guys know David Corenswet??? The new superman????

I just, I was watching twisters and I realised something.

[phoneduk]

I think Bruce Wayne has the boring hobby of stamp collecting.

Thomas collected stamps first and Bruce continued it. He has stacks of stamp books at this point with stamps from around the world. At one point he flew to New Zealand to get rare Lord of the Rings stamps. With each kid that came along he had to carefully inspect his collection and decide which stamp book would be their inheritance.

None of them want his stamp collection if he dies - it's a constant argument over who should have to keep his thousands of stamps.

[phoneduk]

Headcanon that when Duke becomes comfortable with the family he instantly starts pulling the Black Card to win an argument.

The first time it happens is when Batman asks him to stay late in the cave to go over some reports but Duke is tired Damnit and B isn't listening to his protests so he pulls his best sad face and asks "Is it because I'm Black?" When Bruce says that Duke can't ask his siblings to cover for him. Cue the biggest panic that any of them have seen in a long time as Batman switches to Bruce and starts assuring him and telling Duke to go relax.

From there Duke has realised he's gotten a get out of jail free card that he uses carefully (Re: to get out of a gala early, to get his favourite food for dinner a couple of times.)

Using it on his siblings only works once or twice before they start on the orphan card that rarely works as they're all orphaned one way or another.

One time he used it on a villain and they almost instantly stopped beating him up to protest the accused racism.

[psychicbakeryskeletoncowboy-blog]

I’m picturing Tim and Duke as that one Jackie Chan scene where the black cop tells Jackie to take his id and pretend to be him.

Duke: Tim, I need you to do me a solid and take the SATs for me. I was working a case and didn’t have time to study, take my student id and pretend to be me.

Tim, after staring at Duke’s id for several seconds, with complete sincerity: This won’t work, I’m not 6’1.

[phoneduk]

Headcanon that when Duke becomes comfortable with the family he instantly starts pulling the Black Card to win an argument.

The first time it happens is when Batman asks him to stay late in the cave to go over some reports but Duke is tired Damnit and B isn't listening to his protests so he pulls his best sad face and asks "Is it because I'm Black?" When Bruce says that Duke can't ask his siblings to cover for him. Cue the biggest panic that any of them have seen in a long time as Batman switches to Bruce and starts assuring him and telling Duke to go relax.

From there Duke has realised he's gotten a get out of jail free card that he uses carefully (Re: to get out of a gala early, to get his favourite food for dinner a couple of times.)

Using it on his siblings only works once or twice before they start on the orphan card that rarely works as they're all orphaned one way or another.

One time he used it on a villain and they almost instantly stopped beating him up to protest the accused racism.

[damianwaynerocks]

my friend just told me that she thinks billy batson would be in both the teen titans/young justice/sidekick groupchat and also the justice league groupchat and that he would send the kids groupchat screenshots of justice league drama

[bobcatblahs]

Have some more of the Doctor Who text posts I’ve been hoarding

[kiachn]

Superbat headcanon:

Clark goes to interview Bruce Wayne. He expects either a flirtation by Wayne or just talking business. What Clark DOESNT expect, is to have Wayne, a multimillionaire/billionaire, info dump about Gray Ghost because nobody else would listen to him talk about it.

Now, when Clark leaves Wayne Enterprises, he knows all the Gray Ghost lore. What is he gonna do with this knowledge? He has no idea. But atleast Bruce looked happy infodumping on him.

[creekfiend]

[guy who has handled two conversations well in a row] I think I might be the most emotionally stable person on the planet of earth