he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
No title available
cherry valley forever
styofa doing anything
No title available
wallacepolsom
titsay
JVL
Kaledo Art
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
No title available
Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Andulka
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
we're not kids anymore.
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Product Placement
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Australia
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Canada
@phrog-crime
This user supports AO3
This user is anti-censorship
This user believes in “don’t like, don’t read”
This user believes in “ship and let ship”
This user believes that fiction tastes and preferences do not dictate moral character
wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god
Iron breastplate to ward off fairies, Fishnet leggings to ward off cod.
You're evil and you know it
good thing they're hidden from god and the devil
every now and then i remember how funny the lego batman Dick Grayson adoption story was. like, Dick was just a fanboy in an orphanage who decided it would be cool if Bruce Wayne was his dad, so when he met Bruce he straight up just asked if Bruce would adopt him, and Bruce wasn't listening to a word this kid was saying because he was distracted, so he just assumed Dick wanted an autograph and signed the adoption documents in Dick's hands, and then he just got in his car and drove off. Alfred had to be the one to go back and get him, just sighing as he opened the car door like 'well, i guess it's legal now, you better get in'. like that's gotta be top ten funniest fucking ways for Bruce to adopt a kid. i think that method should be used more, and i personally think it should be used by Tim.
like- fanboy/stalker child Timothy Drake; knows his parents suck and he decides he wants a new dad. and who would be fucking better than the man he knows for a fact to be Batman?! i want Tim to straight-faced no fear just march up to Bruce during some kind of event with guardianship papers he's already forged his parents signature on, deciding to face-to-face randomly ask this man to be his new dad.
Bruce is not paying attention to anything this kid says, by the way. Bruce is trying to leave the event because Jason's with him and he wants the kid to get an early night before school the next morning. there's press and people asking for pictures swarming the street between him and his car. it's too loud, he's got Jason clinging to his hand and trying to keep up from behind, and there's so many people clamouring for his attention that when this little kid somehow manages to slip up to his side, paper and pen in hand, that he vaguely remembers as one of the kids in his neighbourhood, Bruce just quickly scrawls his signature where the kid points and then tries to shove the paparazzi back again.
Jason's the only one who notices, having tuned out all the other visual and audio mess because he trusted Bruce to handle it. when he sees the glee on Tim's face his hand slips from Bruce, and while the man steps away to demand everybody clear a pathway to his car for him and his kid, he leans over and actually reads what Bruce just signed.
he looks at the paper. he looks at Tim. he looks at the paper.
it's genuinely the funniest fuck up he's ever seen the man do. he visibly has to hold back laughter as he claps Tim on the shoulder and solemnly declares, "welcome to the family, weirdo." before Bruce reaches back to grab him by the sleeve and tug him away again.
Tim goes home to pack his bags and then smugly shows up at Wayne Manor the next day, where Jason lets him in and shows him to one of the empty bedrooms. Alfred spots them and stops for a minute, wondering if this is something he should be involved in. then the kettle goes off and he figures it's not his problem. Bruce does not clock that there is another person unpacking and starting to live in his house until Tim sits next to him at the dinner table and no-shame starts referring to him as dad while Jason gives him the most shit-eating grin imaginable.
time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.
by talos this cant be happening
I think it would be really funny if Gothamites randomly saw Batman on patrol late at night and had no fucking clue what was going on. Dock worker watches the Bat-boat do doughnuts on the water (Batman was radaring for King Shark) and thinks, everyone needs some alone time, even if it's in these foul waters. A gaggle of librarians and pages closing up see Batman slinking around in the romance section (he needs the exact copy of a medieval romance to crack a super specific cipher), and just barely keep themselves from yelling out recommendations. A city maintenance worker watches Batman fall into a sewer (he has years of experience expertly slipping into them), and jumps right in after him. Some nurses in a break room watch Batman drop by for the fifth time to make sure a witness is still alive and debate whether he'd eat milk and cookies if they left them out. Funniest of all is that Bruce doesn't even notice himself being noticed (he's too sleep deprived) and just winds up being part of the pulse of the city.
Baelor Targaryen can you fight?? (He can)
weight of the world.
furthest we've ever been
i deliver pizzas & sometimes funny things happen
A discussion of a dream between Daeron and Aerion
Bsky
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 73 (masterpost here)
Damian: was he not- i mean i know he wasn't fatherly, but was he not strict when you two were younger?
Dick: *loud laughing* oh, man, not even close-!
Jason: yeah, he really wasn't- i mean, he tried to be on occasion i guess; but it wasn't really parental strictness more than it was just being harsh and bitter.
Tim: so B really didn't try at all at first, huh?
Jason: he didn't- ok, honestly? my personal theory is that he didn't know he had kids until after i died.
Dick: *laughter turns to wheezes* wHAT?
Jason: no- *wheeze* shut up, hear me out, *cackles*
Tim, audibly amused: what the fuck does that even mean--like you think he forgot he adopted you both?
Jason: no, no- i just think he didn't understand the correlation between adoption and actually being in charge.
Damian: you think that in his mind it was a one time thing? like 'oh, adopting kids? yeah i did that in the past, fun night'.
Tim: *wheeze*
Jason: y-*snort*-yeah, you get it.
Dick: SO WAIT- *deep breath* so you- so you think that for Bruce it was like he had no idea until after you died, at which point he was panicking looking around like 'FUCK A CHILD IS DEAD, SOMEBODY CALL HIS PARENT- ooooh, i get it now,'
Tim: *loud uncontrollable cackling*
Jason, also fighting through wheezes: no i- *choke* no, i mean like- i think he didn't really understand that he was supposed to be a parent in all the senses rather than just the legal. i think you were too happy with every non-parent-like decision he made, and i was too independent, so he thought we were all just chill living in each other's spaces.
Dick: *wheeze* he thought- he thought that Dad was just a title, like Mr or Mrs,
Damian: -like when you buy a two foot square of land online so you can legally be called a lord.
Dick: *cackling* tHAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS-
Jason: yeah, yeah- and then i died and Tim fuckin' showed up, and i have to imagine he was just white-knuckling it in the Batcave looking at him like 'god, i really need to lock the fuck in with this guy',
Tim and Dick: *start crying*
Damian: you think- *snort* so finding Drake was Father internally sighing and going 'ok, time to grind i guess'?
Jason: exac- *wheeze*
*connecting ping*
Bruce: boys, it's-
*a pause* *breathless laughter*
Bruce: i don't even want to know what's so funny this time. i'm just here to call Robin home; it's almost three, i want you to come back to the cave with me so you can get some sleep before your exam at school tomorrow.
Damian, disgruntled: *sigh* yeah yeah, on my way.
Dick, weeping, tone high-pitched: he's locking in-
Tim and Jason: *fucking lose it again*
no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?
you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.
Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now
i don't know who needs to hear this, but you're allowed to gain weight in your twenties. you are a grown ass adult now. your body can and should not be the same as it was at seventeen. allow it to grow along with you <3
As someone recovering from disordered eating, I need you to know that it's physically imperative that you gain weight past 17. Your body isn't finished growing at 17. You need to be putting on more mass, and that includes fat and all the other things. If you're exceptionally healthy you could also put on substantial muscle in that time, which also weighs more.
And if I said Megamind is one of the few movies that understands Superman.
And if I said Megamind through its three subversions of Superman shows a deeper understanding that the point of Superman is that he was loved and taught to love by good, present parents, and because of that he is able to return that love to a world even if it doesn't always accept it, and he is not corrupted by his power, than many other films either subverting or playing the superman story straight.
Megamind has three Superman subversions. One is obviously Megamind himself. He was not raised loved by the world, but rather was loved by those hated by the world. Because he was still raised with love, he does care about other people, hence his character development. But because he didn't receive wider love growing up, his own is misplaced at first.
Metro Man was not loved growing up in a way that mattered. His adopted father was clearly very absent, and while we don't know much about his family, their relationship seems superficial. Because of this, his sense of duty to the world is also superficial, hence his boredom.
Hal wasn't raised with power. He gained it and was shown how to use it by a 'space dad' who only taught him power and not love. Hence, he sees it only as a grasping means to an end.
All three of these subversions, in their negative space, create the silhouette of the superhero that they are parodying. That silhouette is of a space child that came to earth and was cared for very deeply by the world, and taught love through his experience of love, and because of that holds fast to his duty to the world. Which is Superman.
