tired nerd @pialikesstuff - Tumblr Blog

Before June I have to share one of my favorite tiktoks

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

party-gilmore

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

greatmountainfloofsquatch

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

moghedien

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

moghedien

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

rainbowgazes-archive

new organs coming out soon

medium intestine

gallkidneys

inferior vena cava

table of contents

semi-colon

die-r (opposite of liver)

pancreas 2

eingedeutscht

regenbogenblicke-archiv

baldige Organneuerscheinungen:

Mitteldarm

Gallenniere

Hohlvene (schlecht in der Schule)

Inhaltsverzeichnis

Semikolon

Sterber (Gegenteil von Leber)

Bauchzweicheldrüse

manuciruja

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

manuciruja

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

forgondor

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

sanjidysphoria

nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence

gremlinservant

Just vaccinated three kids and got kicked thank GOD I am selling them today

Edit:

THIS IS A POST ABOUT GOATS!!

hood-ex

#(nods sagely) batman fandom

doing-90mph-in-central-london

he's going through a hair dye phase (sleeping in a berry patch)

doing-90mph-in-central-london

feels like some of u aren't properly appreciating the fact that he sleeps in a berry patch. and he rolls over and squishes the berries into his fur. because he's so sleepy and content.

doing-90mph-in-central-london

maybe people think he's an ugly dog but just to be clear he is actually a beautiful pig

blue0909

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

rattling-bag-of-bones

My lord I need you to make up your mind, where the fuck are we going

mandalhoerian-deactivated202510

my lord i think we're lost

depresseddepot

my lord????

little-slice-of-eden

*wheezing* please....My Lord....I just caught up

thatdootdevice

My Lord COME BACK?!

warlockofagnesi

MY LORD?? there is no way I can follow you there!

...all right My Lord [SIGH] I guess I will just have to trust you

evaceratops

my lord i WARNED you-

big-condiments-official

My Lord what happened to my boat

ospreyonthemoon

My Lord, the map

THE MAP, MY LORD

YOU FORGOT THE MAP, MY LORD!

succubusboyfriend

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

succubusboyfriend

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!

deutsche-bahn

Ich bin immer begeistert wenn in irgend'nem Buch oder einer Doku gesagt wird, dass jemand "nach [...] eilte". Auch wenn eigentlich eine flotte Kutschfahrt usw. gemeint ist, muss ich mir immer vorstellen wie der Kurfürst von Schlagmichtot querfeldein losgesprintet ist. Und der Hofstaat hinterher. Nette Vorstellung.

#german posting

borzoibabe

did you know?

- the menu at a restaurant is not an ingredient list you can use to create new dishes we could hypothetically make for you instead of the choices on the menu

- we do not have omelets on the menu because we do not make or serve omelets

- yes, i know we have eggs on the menu, but we still do not have omelets.

- yes, i realize omelets are eggs, but not all eggs are omelets, and the eggs we serve are not omelets.

- you cannot out-logic me so that i cave in and ring in an omelet for you. i am better at arguing than you are.

- there are no omelets here. there have not been, and will not be, omelets here. if you want an omelet you will need to go somewhere else.

- i can also promise that you do not want an omelet cooked by line cooks who have not been trained how to make omelets. because we don't sell omelets.

- no, i am not going to single-handedly put service on pause for the next twenty minutes while three cooks google how to make an omelet and then proceed to fuck up multiple omelets that our kitchen is not set up to prepare, so you can have an omelet.

-and we both know you'd bitch if it takes longer than six minutes to come out anyway.

- no, you may not just go back into the kitchen and make yourself an omelet. the line cooks do not take kindly to trespassing. also, what the hell.

- i hear that you want an omelet. that does not change the fact that we do not offer omelets. if you want to eat an omelet, you will need to go to another restaurant that does have omelets on the menu. this is not negotiable.

- i am the manager.

- yeah, alright, go fuck yourself too, bob.

borzoibabe

literally today a woman came in to the restaurant i work at, looked at the menu, looked around at all the tables eating, watched us take orders, watched us run food out to table. and then she approached me and asked "is this a restaurant?"

i thought for sure i misheard her, but no. she was asking "is this a restaurant?", almost as if maybe she had heard of the concept of restaurants but had never experienced one for herself, and she needed to get confirmation from somebody else.

i could not control my face. i had to walk away and another coworker had to step in to kindly explain that yes, the restaurant is a restaurant.

i would never lie to you.