i wanna go the freak to bed

Hi! I'm Emily, and this is sort of a weird mix of fandom blog and random miscellany. P.S. You're awesome.

[not-a-space-alien]

Don’t let tumblr make you think it’s okay to

Lose the newborn antichrist 

Spend 11 years mentoring the wrong child with your supposed enemy 

Hypnotize a Satanic Nun

Turn fake guns into real guns

Sit moping about organizing your Soul music CDs while you wait for Hell to come beat your ass

Drop a bucket of holy water on a Satanic Duke

Drive across the M25 while your car is on fire

Stand around being useless while the antichrist saves the world

[determined-mind-deactivated2025]

[girlwhorpsalot]

I needed this.

[mentalmentalhealth]

Thank you to all the people who posted this so I ended up seeing it. I really needed this right now. Thank you!

[poptart42]

this image was made by @boggletheowl and their blog is a blessing

[jq37]

I’d like to believe that the reason that the Amazons have the most EXTRA fighting style in existence is because they’re a warrior people with no war to fight so instead of just doing basic training like normal people, Antiope is like, “And now I’m going to teach you how to BACKFLIP off of a MOVING HORSE,” because they have to fill their time somehow. 

[freaoscanlin]

#diana: why won’t you let me train as a warrior if we’re never going to go to war anyway? #antiope in the distance: LET’S TRY THAT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME ON FIRE #hippolyta: …i have my reasons (via @yesokayiknow)

[zamiiz]

A very sleepy boy 😸

[pinknegg]

the purge except it’s 24 hours where retail workers can talk back to customers and managers

[nguyen-hoang-huy]

There is a fundamental reason why we look at the sky with wonder and longing—for the same reason that we stand, hour after hour, gazing at the distant swell of the open ocean. There is something like an ancient wisdom, encoded and tucked away in our DNA, that knows its point of origin as surely as a salmon knows its creek. Intellectually, we may not want to return there, but the genes know, and long for their origins—their home in the salty depths. But if the seas are our immediate source, the penultimate source is certainly the heavens… The spectacular truth is—and this is something that your DNA has known all along—the very atoms of your body—the iron, calcium, phosphorus, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and on and on—were initially forged in long-dead stars. This is why, when you stand outside under a moonless, country sky, you feel some ineffable tugging at your innards. We are star stuff. Keep looking up.

Neil de Grasse Tyson. (via the-wondrous)

[hemaris]

having a 3yo brother means i get exposed to kids’ shows way more often than i thought i would at this point in my life, but man, binge watching thomas the tank engine as an adult is a wild fucking experience

all these trains (and there’s like 20 counting locomotives alone, don’t even get me started on the anthropomorphic train cabins) are MAD competitive the whole time and will constantly fuck up their own whole day by tring to prove they’re the biggest baddest train. and like, i understand that you gotta get you plot from somewhere and i imagine plotlines like this happen in cars etc. as well, but the other day i was watching and i noticed that all these goddamn locomotives have DRIVERS in them. that apparently have no control over their train’s actions at all whatsoever. so these trains wake up, pick up their drivers, go to work, get taunted by another train who’s like “ha ha i see u there with your 4 cabins but did you know i can pull SIX cabins and still fucking book it at 80mph” and the 4 cabin train will be like “fuck it i gotta prove myself now, hook me up with 4 more cabins” and will inevitably derail themselves or some shit while the engine driver just shuts up and kicks back the whole time

i explained this to my brother and was like, is that fucked up or what, but he just pointed at the green train and went “that’s percy” so i guess that’s his take on the situation

[tipsykipsy]

OKAY I’M GETTING IN ON THIS BECAUSE I’M MAD AND FULL OF COLA

I worked on that show. For three hideous months of my life, I did this.

And there was this whole unwritten rule structure about the drivers and what they did and when they did it and how/when they needed to act

And there was this weird fucking balance between what the trains did and what the humans did - the drivers would only act when the train can’t do a thing by itself. Hooking up to another car? Driver does it. Need to shift from one track to another? Driver gets out and does it. Loading up one of the cars? Drivers.

See something funny here? BECAUSE I DID. What driver would hear their sentient train say “fuck it i gotta prove myself now, hook me up with 4 more cabins” and NOT respond with “Percy just shut up and drive we have people to transport or the Health and Safety committee is going to breathe fire up both our asses”??? 

Naw, they hear their giant fucking trains with giant fucking faces whining about how they are getting old and outdated and how they need to prove themselves by doubling their reasonable capacity and they go “welp, okay” and they get out and they hook up those cabins.

Otherwise, the trains had total autonomy to do whatever petty competitive shit the plot of the day demanded that they do. Go way too fast and end up breaking because they wanted to race a new and not outdated engine that’s actually built for speed? They do that. Go 100% the wrong direction because they wanted to show their friends a thing they got loaded up with and end up ruining it? No probbo, Bobbo. Disobey directions given by Sir Topham Hatt HIMSELF because they’re too proud? You do the thing buddy. Strain way too fucking hard to carry 8 fucking cabins when they were only built for 4? YOU GO FOR IT YOU MORON TRAIN. 

SO WITH ALL THAT HERE’S MY THEORY that I had to develop because it was either that or never stop drinking ever again

Those drivers? They never speak to each other, never acknowledge the existence of any humans. They get in the train, go with the train, fix the train, load or unload the train. That is all they do. 

They’re not human. 

They are symbiotic extensions of the trains. They are a combination of the birds that eat parasites off hippos and fucking Boston Dynamics style robots where literally all they do is whatever shit their designated Train Of The Day deems worthy of their time. 

With no task to fulfil, they are thoughtless beings. WATCH THEM. They look around at nothing. They blink. Sometimes they lean on the edge of the window. 99.5% of the time, they do nothing, they see nothing, they interact with nothing. They are shaped in such a way as to avoid unsettling the real humans of the world, but are below humans in almost every way - Sir Topham Hatt never speaks to them directly in the way he speaks to the engines. 

If the train derails and it’s possible that a human driver would be severely injured? It’s fine, because they’re not actually human. They crumple into a heap of non-euclidian geometry and then rebuild themselves like an inflatable snowman. Their recovery is fuelled by the years of poor decisions they’ve helped enable - all this time they’ve been feeding off the intellect of these trains. 

Why do the trains never learn from their mistakes? Why, after more than 30 years, are they still getting stuck, taking on more weight than they should know they can handle, still derailing themselves? 

Because these symbiotic train extensions need their slice of the pie. They must feed. And what’s more cost effective than sandwiches? Thought. 30 years of quiet leeching, giving the trains enough processing power to do their jobs, but not so much that the trains don’t need them anymore. 

The trains are in a constant state of developmental hiatus because of the drivers themselves. 

NOW YOU MAY BE THINKING, this seems weird and unusual. Why would Sir Topham Hatt allow for this? Wouldn’t it be more cost effective for the trains to be able to learn from their mistakes and become better workers? 

And to that I ask you… from this entire operation, hauling coal, hauling people, hauling animals, being  “really useful”… what do the trains get out of this? They are kept alive and maintained, but neither are they allowed their own independent thought, or their own free time or interests. Everything they do is done under orders of Sir Topham Hatt.

And without the brainpower to devote to critical thought, they are unable to see how their petty struggles to be better than each other only reinforces the system where they are coerced into being “really useful”, above all else. 

WAKE UP SHEEPLE

[dalliance-5-deactivated20161112]

A guy decided to recap one of his childhood pictures. What a powerful moment.

[roughhewnends]

“Lordy, I hope there are tapes.” -James Comey

[1esknineteen]

[decoy-ocelot]

Oh, oh, this reminds me of the only known bilingual palindrome:

Anger? ‘Tis safe never. Bar it! Use love.

Spell that backward and you get:

Evoles ut ira breve nefas sit; regna!

Which is Latin for:

Rise up, in order that your anger may be but a brief madness; control it!

[piebakerofdoom-blog]

some reviewers: ugh i hate purple prose

me, sinking into the viscous pool of purple prose like a spoon dipped into honey, like a tear falling into a puddle, swimming through it like some nightmare fish of the deep who knows nothing except that it is darkness and mystery and strangeness and that it belongs here in the depths of the blue and violet sea, safe from the endless lapping waves above and the sunlight that sparks and flares on their tips, lighting the azure ocean into an endless expanse of jewels: can't relate

[iamnotsebastianstan-archive-dea]

not to offend anyone on here but like,,,,y'all need to get outside more, exist in the real world for a while and stop getting pressed over trivial shit that really genuinely doesn’t matter in the big picture that is life

[gayinquisition]

#This website is bad for the mental health of young people honestly#all social media is but this one in particular#The tone and attitude of this website is so unbelievably damaging I could literally write a dissertation on it#you think you’re progressive but actually this website is one of the most oppressive environments#you can’t have any opinion without immediately being attacked for it#regardless of what the opinion is; liberal or conservative or moderate#it literally doesn’t matter where your opinion falls#on this website your opinion is wrong and you’re an asshole for having it#even the attempts at social justice on here are questionable bc so many of u only know what this website has told you#and it’s so unbelievably polarising in its messages#social justice on here is extremist in its tone #and it’s just#so damaging to the way people think and feel and behave#and so many people spend significant portions of their life on here and this becomes their reality#but it’s not real it’s all a hyper inflated version of reality#u need to log off and check in with the real world away from this site#if ur offended by this ur exactly the person this post was targeted to

[storiesbetween]

[sp00pyjo]

i, martin luther, arrive at the church,

95 theses: posted Roman Catholic Church: outraged papal bull: burned

I am forcibly excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church

[rachol]

[blanketforyourshock]

you know ive hit quality blogging when i post a picture of 16 vicars riding oblivion

#oh my god

That’s what they said

[roseforthethorns]

I love how many of them are praying

[heaven-and-hale-deactivated2015]

man that one in the front right corner just does not give a fuck

[vassraptor]

And by looking at that picture, you can experience the roller coaster… vicariously.

[cumaeansibyl]

even better than the one in the front right corner: the one in the front middle who’s like HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

[oradianto]

😂

[quantumstarlight]

Wait but there are more! 

[alixabethmay]

Now this is the sort of quality religious content I want to see on my dashboard

[mishasminions]

SEEMS LIKE A HELL OF A RIDE

[thedeepwalrus]

HOLY WATER SLIDE

[shore-fire]

worship poem

thank God, sovereign of earth that the coffee line was only 11 minutes long this morning. i wake up late in a sprawled, exploded state from dreams which shake me with holy meaning. am i important? i get dressed. am i divine? i skip breakfast, and subsist off of hope, love, and creamer.

my job here, i view it as one planted. from the earth, i’ve grown and the sun collects on fragile skin, i marvel at the way water beads on my arms. i truly must be special, to be given such beautiful, bronze clothes.

and so the flower drinks the nitrous from the soil, and so the flower recycles the waste and feeds, and so the world returns lush and beautiful. in your life, you’ve had one of these grow on you, these photosynthetic, dazzling, sun-spotted humans that seem to nibble the bitter right out of the heart.

[sannam]

“As one man to another, Commander, I must ask you: did you ever wonder why I wore the lilac?”

“It’s a flower. Anyone can wear a flower.”

“At this time? In this place?”