probably crying over moiraine

"The White Tower is graven on your bones." WoT readthrough blog of @eve-is-obsessed I 💖 bitchy women

[pillowfriends]

now that I've finished the series, I need a new intro post. hi, I'm Eve @eve-is-obsessed, this is my sideblog for Wheel of Time shenanigans. SPOILERS ABOUND but are tagged #wot book spoilers so you can avoid them

this blog is specifically for MY thoughts on WoT so all my WoT reblogs (art, gifs, etc) go to my main blog @eve-is-obsessed.

tagging:

✨ books: #eve reads wot, #wot book spoilers, #eve reads [book abbreviation] ex #eve reads tsr

✨ show: #eve watches wot, #wot s3 spoilers

fic:

✨ ao3: eve_is_obsessed, lots of WoT writing

✨ prompts: I'm always open for drabble (100/200 word) prompts - can be a character, word, concept, whatever. my ask box and DMs are both open

misc:

✨ NSFW posts are all tagged as such

✨ I'm terrible at responding to dms here but feel free to ask for my discord

✨ speaking of, I'm on the mod team for a fishwives discord, dm if you want the link!

[pillowfriends]

as much as I love the RosPike audiobooks and often fall asleep to her dulcet tones, she goes so hard that I can really only listen to select comfort chapters and just end up looping them over and over. not because of the story but because sometimes if you play a random part she'll just be yelling. or singing a tavern song in overlapping voices. and did I mention the yelling. it's like ok I'm already anxious and can't sleep and superbly acted Rand crashout number 44 is not helping. Alexa play TDR chapter 7 again

[pillowfriends]

tragic: my new haircut is very fitting for a Mesaana cosplay but the problem is she has zero recognizable features and no one would know who I was

[pillowfriends]

rolling up to Jordancon with this stylish ruff and waiting for all the ladies to fall at my feet

[pillowfriends]

btw I did this. no ruff, but it was fun

[pillowfriends]

if anyone wants to send me single-word prompts, I'm in a Siuaraine drabble writing mood... any word that you can think of. I want a challenge

[pillowfriends]

all these drabbles are now compiled here, with minor edits from the tumblr versions:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[pillowfriends]

Honey

last one in the series, thank you everyone for your prompts! I also got an anon prompt for "ballyhoo" so combining the two here. thanks lakeofsilverpike for giving me a nudge to end this series on a happier post-canon moment.

note left by Siuan, approximately two years post-Last Battle

Love, I've gone to market – I hope to be home before you wake up, but dashing off this note just in case. It was a long night so thought I'd spare you the ballyhoo and let you catch up on sleep. Will bring honeycakes if the vendor is there, and apples for the horses – weather’s right if you want to go for a ride. (I'm also happy to be a shut-in today – we could spend the day in bed, or comb through that last batch of dispatches from Seandar if we have the energy.) Back soon. All my love, Siuan

[pillowfriends]

Dragon

(So original I know)

thanks! this one had so many options... I settled on a moment of hopelessness.

excerpt from Siuan's letters to Moiraine, 979-998 NE:

So much for Aes Sedai agelessness – I swear I've aged a decade in the year you've been gone. Every day I discover some new ache. This Dragon would be better named Draghkar, draining the life and energy from us. I must have spent twenty hours in the library this week, my only reward a fragment of prophecy directly contradicting Dorine’s interpretation. It unsettles me to cast my line so far into the future, but I suppose it can't be helped. Finding him is only the first step. Light, I’m tired. Why couldn't the Pattern have chosen someone else? Why us?

[pillowfriends]

Scars

thank you anon! this one also refused to stay at 100 words.

excerpt from Siuan's letters to Moiraine, 979-998 NE:

It seems that every time you come home, you bring a new scar, like you’re collecting them. With my fingers and mouth, I collect them too, learn them and map them onto you so I can hold them in my mind when you’re gone. Part of me resents that you change when we’re apart, that when I picture the contours of your back, I could be missing a new curve of muscle or puckered slice of skin. Of course, I wouldn’t wish you to be stagnant (although if I had my way, you’d be unharmed), I only wish we could grow and change shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. For six years we did – you could hardly get a papercut without me finding out within the hour. I got too used to that luxury. Go, be brave and reckless, collect your scars. Just promise you’ll bring them back to me.

[pillowfriends]

Tattoo

thank you anon, @mister-dancer and @moonscarislander! I'm almost through all the prompts (certainly faster when I do 3-in-1 like this lmao). @lakeofsilverpike requested something "slightly less knife to the heart." I think this fits the bill.

excerpt from Moiraine's letters to Siuan, 979-998 NE:

Dearest Siuan, Your letter warmed me. I reread it just before sleeping and had good dreams for the first time in Light knows how long. Sunlight poured over you as you showed me your new tattoos. I ran my hands over the upraised skin as I do with the ridged words of your letters. Your legs were in my lap and you were laughing. I woke at midnight and felt your presence lingering. Dazed, I placed my own hand on my own thigh and felt your calluses, smelled your tree-sap sweetness. Whatever magic you worked last night, work it again.

[pillowfriends]

Nightmare

thank you both! this one refused to be 100 words, I had to jump to 150...

excerpt from Moiraine's letters to Siuan, 979-998 NE:

I still can’t mask the bond while asleep. In my haste to bond Lan, there is too much we never learned. Last night he woke me awkwardly, saying I was agitated, and asked if in the future he should let me sleep. Perhaps he saw, or felt, my wish that it wasn’t his hand on my shoulder but yours. Is that so wrong? When I wake gasping, I’m overcome by a childish wish to be in your bed again, where it’s safe. You and I have already done that weighing work of learning when to push, when to retreat, when to offer silent comfort. Lan and I, though, are still nearly strangers to one another. I don't want to learn the love language of another person, Siuan. It’s awful, but I resent him for trying. I always thought knowing yours would be enough. Forgive me. I did not sleep well.

[pillowfriends]

if you’re still taking prompts: vice

thank you anon and @audalia! didn't end up keeping the word "vice" itself in this one but it's there in spirit.

excerpt from Moiraine's letters to Siuan, 979-998 NE:

In desperate cold hours I imagine myself a phoenix. Under your hands, panting, aflame, my impurities and weaknesses would burn away. I’d emerge naked and remade, honed into a better tool, rejuvenated for the fight. If she could touch me once more, I bargain with the Pattern, I would be ready… It wouldn’t work. When you touch me, I only ever want you more. You tempt me back into my flesh. I used to believe I could burn through all my desire, but now I know that each time the fire of your kisses fells me, I’m reborn burning hotter.

[pillowfriends]

Winter

thank you both anons who submitted this prompt and @lakeofsilverpike !

excerpt from Moiraine's letters to Siuan, 979-998 NE:

It was winter. My toes were like ice and you flinched every time they brushed your legs. You joked you'd turn me out of bed but instead you insisted I wear your socks too, and curled yourself around my feet until I called you ridiculous.

I have better socks now but my toes are still cold. Lan discourages the Aes Sedai trick of ignoring temperature. He says disregarding my body’s needs is the fastest path to frostbite. I do not tell him the sensation conjures memories of you, which ache worse than any chill. Sometimes needs simply cannot be met.

[pillowfriends]

Luminescent

thank you anon and @lakeofsilverpike for your drabble prompts! (I actually wrote this one before lakeofsilverpike's comment. it was a lucky coincidence)

excerpt from Siuan's letters to Moiraine, 979-998 NE:

Last night I dreamed of you glowing. You were floating among a bloom of luminescent jellyfish – once as a novice I called you a jellyfish, remember? We'd snuck out and you were trying on that billowy dress, and you gave me such a look that I never called you that again. I think it suits you, though – not the dress, it was hideous, but the name. Graceful, pale, mysterious. (And the unexpected sting.) You smiled, in the dream. You looked so peaceful, a great weight removed as the water held you. I could have stayed there forever, watching you glow.

[pillowfriends]

thank you @alias-dream for your drabble prompt!

excerpt from Siuan's letters to Moiraine, 979-998 NE:

I always hated the archetypal pining woman, the foolish femininity of wishing for things out of reach. I prized myself on practicality, individualism, everything I learned on my father's boat that felt wildly incompatible with sighing after a silhouette. Today, though, I was that woman. I set myself tasks and failed at every one. You can't tie a proper net if you're already dreaming too deeply of the dinner you’ll catch. I caught myself preparing my life for you, thinking when she gets back, when I see her – which is no way to live. You’ve been gone only two days.

[pillowfriends]

Tempest

thank you anon and @damodredpike for your drabble prompts!

excerpt from Siuan's letters to Moiraine, 979-998 NE:

I took lunch today with a Green and her Warder, and jealousy nearly ate me alive. He put his palm on her knee and my ears filled with a rushing that drowned out his next words. The only clear thought wailing through that tempest was that even if you were here, I would never be allowed that casual act of intimacy.

Then I pictured Lan and the jealousy bit deeper. Of course it’s not his fault he has a place by your side while I am denied one. I only wish, foolishly, to walk through the Tower hand-in-hand with you.

[pillowfriends]

if anyone wants to send me single-word prompts, I'm in a Siuaraine drabble writing mood... any word that you can think of. I want a challenge

[vancouver-lord-goldeneyes]

I'm gonna get flamed but as a Polycule Hater splitting it into just Rand/Elayne and just Elayne/Avi is so fucking funny. So Content Just For Me.

[made-in-manetheren]

Tagging Elayne as a "load-bearing bisexual" has me in stitches

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Her polycule now.

[pillowfriends]

Sarah also dropped some insane info about Rand's relationships - the plan was to only have Rand/Elayne and Elayne/Avi, with Rand and Min being close friends. I don't even know how to reconcile this with my view of s3 where I thought Rand and Aviendha had great tension... and I guess this is one way to solve the Min problem but I really wasn't expecting it. honestly this would have probably caused a lot of drama and discourse in the fandom, but I still would have liked to see how it played out both in the story and in the fandom 🫥 and honestly there's no way to preserve any of that without creating discourse so they may as well try something new. Rand and Avi being metamours... I'm spinning it around in my head, I don't know how I feel about it yet. curious to hear other thoughts 👀

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Okay how on earth does that work with min’s vision in s1 which is the same as the books. Who are the three hot ladies in his life? Elayne, Egwene, and Lanfear??

Or wait. Wait wait wait. What if this is more evidence they were gonna give rand a boyfriend or two.

Honestly I’m sad they apparently weren’t planning on avirand since I thought avirand was set up really well, and tbh. that kind of diminishes aviendha’s role in the story a bit?? But if they were gonna give rand some different love interests to make up for taking away avirand and minrand, then maybe. Or my long shot belief that min was gonna end up in a messy throuple with mat as her metamour and tuon as their hinge..

Tbh though, idk how I feel about taking the two Butch women in rand’s polycule and only pairing one of them off with a woman. My boy deserves to get topped by two masc bi queens I am just saying.

[pillowfriends]

to your last point, extra questionable that Rand only gets with the white femme love interest and not the two less feminine people of color. a boyfriend would have been nice though. as I said in my last post, we were apparently getting Asmodean so maaaaybe they were going to do something with that. I don't remember the specifics of Min's show vision tbh so I'm not sure how much room for interpretation there was