Pineapple

pineapple | she/they | 22 chromatic abhorration

[todaysbird]

Today’s bird is this Australian Darter.

[googiekitsch-deactivated2024071]

lol nice outfit loser *puts phone up to ear* huh…? what? oh um- okay. anyway 1828 called. they said they found something really really scary in goya’s house

[questbedhead]

I love me a pseudo-historical arranged marriage au but it always nudges my suspension of disbelief when the author has to dance around the implicit expectation that an arranged marriage should lead to children, which a cis gay couple can't provide.

I know for a lot of people that's irrelevant to what they want from an Arranged Marriage plot, but personally I like playing in the weird and uncomfortable implications.

So, I've been thinking about how you would justify an obviously barren marriage in That Kind of fantasy world, and I thought it'd be interesting if gay marriage in Ye Old Fantasy Land was a form of soft disinheritance/abdication.

Like, "Oh, God, I don't want to be in this position of power please just find me a boy to marry", or, "I know you should inherit after you father passes but as your stepmother/legal guardian I think it'd make more sense if my kids got everything, so maybe consider lesbianism?", or "Look, we both know neither of our families has enough money to support that many grandkids, so let's just pair some spares and save both our treasuries the trouble".

Obviously this brings in some very different dynamics that I know not everyone would be pinged by, but I just think it'd be neat.

[kyraneko]

This is actually a really cool variant solution to a real historical problem, wherein either primogeniture or other profoundly shitty customs led to wealthy parents having insufficient resources to provide for all of their children in a manner consistent with their station.

Historically, the Church and its widespread monastic structure functioned as a dumping ground for second/third/etc sons and all the daughters one can't afford to marry off adequately, with the military eventually picking up the slack for the former post-Reformation to the point where it's been argued that the need for something to occupy these dispossessed sons played a role in Europe's ongoing conflicts between its nations and the eventual push of imperialism and colonization over the rest of the world.

In a world where homosexuality were more accepted, it would offer a new option: spare a comparatively-small outlay of resources from the main family fortune to equip a house and accoutrements, which would be reabsorbed into the family as a return inheritance in a few decades, and contract a marriage which would be deliberately unable to produce legitimate offspring.

You get the advantages of creating marital ties with another wealthy family, the people married therein have a spouse and the status achievements that go with marriage, and the risk that your child goes off and marries someone unsuitable or inconvenient is removed entirely, as is the risk that they could marry someone and have legitimate, inheritance-claiming children with them. Sure, they can have affairs and thus get children if they're married to a same-sex spouse, but those children cannot be passed off as legitimate issue of the marriage, and so they pose less of a threat to the the main body of the family's wealth.

And, thus: perfectly reasonable reason why your pseudohistorical fictional characters can find themselves in a same-sex arranged marriage!

[aqueerkettleofish]

"Nicholas, we've arranged for you to marry Eric, in the neighboring kingdom."

"But father, I'm not...."

"I'm well aware. I've just decided that you shouldn't reproduce."

[cafffine]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

[theowlseye-deactivated20240403]

[officeshelpdesk]

The woke mob has made Santa gay! Mrs Claus has been replaced with a 5'8 twink named Tony Tinsel

[enemy-viv-deactivated20240228]

[kuradex]

day 205 Forretress

support me on kofi

[chalkandwater]

[merlinthegrey-deactivated201803]

Now that’s a motherfucking gifset. 

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

Slightly better timed version using guess and check

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

They weren’t laid out correctly anymore so here you go

[marinebiologyshitposts]

FISH KIN: @tofu-pofu, your fish kin is...

Ostracion bicaudalis, the Spotted Trunkfish!!!

Sometimes called either the Cowfish, Boxfish, or Shell-Fish, one of the defining features of this little guy is the "shell" it creates! By locking its scales together, it is essentially protected in a little box, keeping it together and safe from predators! Sometimes, it also has little "horns" jutting out of its forehead. Thank you so much for your donation!!!

[wizardpostsdotorg]

fuck my gay wizard life i’m so used to talking out my ass like a nobleman that at the doctors today i said “is it within your power to prescribe me something like that?” and she LAUGHED AT ME “i like the way you phrased that, yes it’s within my power”

[ot3]

i love channeling my impotent rage about things outside of my control towards ace attorney 5 and 6. which are also completely outside of my control. for now. but maybe if i get angry enough i can do something about them

[ot3]

STOP PLAYING ACE ATTORNEY 5 AND 6!

ACE ATTORNEY CHARACTERS WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE INVOLVED IN GEOPOLITICS

YEARS of videogames yet NO NARRATIVE USE found for MOOD MATRIX

Wanted to build stakes in a story arc? we had a tool for that. it was called: "CHARACTER WRITING"

"The dark age of the law is now. It wasn't the dark age of the law before" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged.

LOOK what Capcom have been demanding your respect for all this time, with the money and fanbase WE provided for them:

(This is REAL ace attorney 5+6 made by REAL capcom devs)

"Hello I would like fictional south asian country that needs external intervention to stabilize" they have played us for absolute fools

[suffer-louder]

[shiemi-blog]

[vanessagillings]

Wishing you a peaceful weekend ☕️✨

[babyypants]

How Ponify ruined my life

Possibly the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me occurred today. So I’m in a creative writing class at university right now and we had to print out twenty-five copies of our first, one page assignment to distribute to the class. I had to print mine at the computer lab as I don’t have a printer, but here are the three crucial facts that made this the worst mistake of my life.

1. Sometimes, when you log into Google on Chrome, it activates all of your extensions, even ones you’ve deactivated.

2. In high school, my friends and I got really into Ponify (a words replacing chrome extension) and switched the preferences so we could read political articles and have congress get into a “rousing snow ball fight” and the like.

3. Ponify reverted to its original My Little Pony lingo when opened on a new computer’s chrome.

So when I distributed my twenty-five copies of this I noticed the word “everypony”, my heart seized up and dropped into my stomach, and with my imminent death approaching, I began furiously correcting all twenty-five of them. My teacher, confusedly, agreed to let me correct them as I was too infuriated and ashamed to say my mistake aloud. 

I just realized, however, that the line “as she watched the binding fall away in her hand” was changed to “as she watched the binding fall away in her hoof”. 

And I just had to send this email:

And basically I’m ready for death how was your day

[sioltach]

“half-words”

[garbage-empress]