Pinkest @pinkestlemon - Tumblr Blog

you are HORRIBLE and EVIL and I HATE YOU. YOU RUINED MY LIFE

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

pochayun

would you like to share with the class 🤔

makesoneteam

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

mercury-mage

would you like to unshare with the class

kholran

It’s finally happened.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.

beggars-opera

@victoriansecret I found your friend!!!

beggars-opera

cutecipher

the age verification shit is fascists trying to control the internet for everyone. the children part of this is a smokescreen and you shouldn't be falling for it.

cutecipher

"dont worry about the hypothetical harm" in 6 months youll be chiding people for not worrying about it

pigswithwings

women are really awesome and theres so many of them oh my god

pigswithwings

we are so fucking lucky theres women. we are sooo lucky theres trans women or we'd be fucked forever and ever

pigswithwings

we live in a world with trans women

feefal

Moldy/unmoldy doomed yaoi or yuri?

you got it boss, here’s your doomed strawberry yuri

Ping!

i went on the scooby doo diet where I just eat giant subs and processed biscuits and I gotta say im not feeling to

copper-evie

he plays some magical tunes fr trust

the-stew-goblin

OH FUCK HE NEEDS SOME STEW FOR GREAT MUSICIANS STAT

sandersstudies

We were doing an activity where the kids got to make a playbill for a musical about themselves and all the other kids were like “character list: mommy, daddy, me, my brother, my best friend” “scenes: I get a puppy, first day of school, my baby sister is born”

But one little girl was like “oh, it’s a musical about ME you say” and the character list was all the other girls in the class cast as her body parts, and a story about how her body works.

“Kaylee is nice so she will be the heart. Lily is my kidneys. Sapphire is the lungs.”

She surreptitiously showed me that the girl who kept taking the crayons she was using was cast specifically as “left buttcheek” and I had to pretend like that wasn’t the funniest thing I’d ever seen.

tgirl-tamag0tchi

Choking is all about restricting the blood flow. NOT crushing their fucking windpipe.

Use your thumb and fingers to press on the two major arteries on either side, and don’t press with your fucking palm please!!!

the-stew-goblin

Is it ok to crush their windpipe if I'm putting them in a stew in a non sexual way?

tgirl-tamag0tchi

Yeah that’s fine.

Adds flavor.

the-stew-goblin

YAY!

Remember to participate in kinks safely random people online!!

And participate in stews safely!

dogpuppy

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

moisterpeggingchampion

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

dogpuppy

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

joy-and-whimsy-official

Joy and whimsy detected! This response is joyful and whimsical!

shortwaveradioenthusiast

kingedwardsapphires

Me stepping out of the optometry office after slamming four lokos with the doctor and immediately meeting the love of my life (but I have social anxiety)

annelidarchive

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

lootpuppy-deactivated20260205

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

annelidarchive

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

guerrillatech

aflo

posting this on twitter will get you put into witness protection

truestoriesaboutme

The magic of childhood is that you were constantly encountering new things. The best way to feel that way again is to fill your life with new experiences.

terminallyonlinecat-deactivated

The magic of childhood is that you were constantly encountering new things. The best way to feel that way again is to fill your life with new experiences.