Keni
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
hello vonnie
The Bowery Presents
bliss lane
izzy's playlists!
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Origami Around
pixel skylines
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Not today Justin
Sade Olutola
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Andulka
Color Me Curious
Cosimo Galluzzi
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
shark vs the universe
seen from Colombia
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Ecuador
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from Peru
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seen from United States
@piratesknewmyoceans
okay im gonna hypnotize you with my ruby amulet now DONT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT. im doing this to make you betray the king. IT IS NOT A SEX THING
I think the fact that you immediately thought about clarifying it’s not a sex thing kinda makes it sound like it is a sex thing.
FOOL. i would be using my sex amulet for that
had to draw this
Forever obsessed with butterflies as fairy wings on frogs 🐸 🥹
You would kill a man for this bedroom
Pools are reverse boats designed to keep land out
I am digging up a chunk of dirt and grass and plopping it into the pool while maintaining eye contact with you
The Onion pulling zero fucking punches.
The French really don’t fuck around.
not gonna become a repost account but i think about “4” “dumb fuck” every day
i was this close to turning off reblogs but someone here actually gets it
U DO NOT NEED CLOSURE FROM EVERYONE YOU DONT HAVE TO BE IN GOOD TERMS WITH EVERYONE
Unless you were a tech at NASA back in the day, when one time some hydrogen a) escaped in a particular building, and b) caught on fire. This was extremely difficult because hydrogen does NOT burn on the visible spectrum humans evolved to see (and flee). Rather, it technically does, but it’s so pale that in practice, no one could see it. Additionally, pure hydrogen burns without smoke and with so little ambient heat that you can’t really sense it till you walk into it. So, per the lore, for a few days all the techs in that building just walked around brandishing brooms in front of them like lances. If your broom lit on fire, congrats! You have located more burning hydrogen! Do not proceed!
oh my god it's real and it was LITERALLY called "the broom method" holy shit
this video shows just how hard it is to see hydrogen fire btw
"oh sorry, i guess i was infodumping again" - sad, shy, apologetic
"you sly dog, you got me monologuing" - cool, strong, confident
it’s all “be gay, do crimes” until an unabashedly queer person actually breaks the law. i’m starting to think some of y’all would consider jaywalking morally reprehensible
what be gay, do crimes is: identify in ways that confuse people. identify in ways that piss people off. be contradictory. be unabashedly queer. break all rules of gender conformity. steal from corporations. trespass. attend protests. attend riots. throw bricks at cops. vandalize. destroy hostile architecture. do back upon the world the hostility it has inflicted, but be kind to those who have suffered alongside you.
what some of you seem to think be gay, do crimes is: have a nose ring and loiter outside your local spencer’s
HEY! No one toucha my beans okay?
Toucha
I'm calling my lawer
Favourite vegetable?? Pls vote. trying to prove smth!!
1105 votes • Poll ends in 5 days 9 hours
🥕 carrotjesus Follow
OP clearly yuor followers are biased. Carrots are objectively better than broccoli of all things and i think it's problematic that you called carrots stinky it's really manipulative. also tomatos aren't technically a vegetable. maybe try thinking before posting passive agressive polls next time
🤡 jizzardtower Follow
shgdfdsg these tags. yes. chicken wings my favourite vegetable
✴ cadylady2002 Follow
Haha. I just realized the #eggplant looks a little like a d***. That is so #funny !!
👁 shreksbellybutton Follow
🦷 pigeonsarecool Follow
CHICKEM WIMGS
🍵 souperdouper Follow
shoutout to soup. won't stop making shoutouts for soup until one hears me and comes walkig over. i want soup.
i feel like a man lost in the desert having oasis hallucinations
Believe me, nobody was more jazzed about my interview with Consumer Reports than me. I grew up as a kid reading its dry, dry prose, dreaming about the day when I, too, would get to smash the living shit out of consumer appliances until they fell apart. Savagery would flow through my pen, dismantling multinational corporations for the capital crime of having made a dishwasher with buttons that scratch easily.
I had been "funemployed" for quite some time. In fact, I'd been without a job for so long that my parole officer told me I had to go get one, otherwise they would put me back in the hole. So, I decided to go out on a limb and write Consumer Reports about all the torture testing I'd been doing to my half-century-old menagerie of shitboxes. A few minutes after I sent the email, I got a breathless, panicked phone call from the head destructive testing engineer, who told me to get on a fucking plane and head out there pronto.
Plane? Plane? I made a solemn vow in my youth to never get in an automobile driven by anyone else. And even though it flies through the air using what I think is an elaborate series of lies, an airplane certainly qualifies. I cashed the plane ticket in for gas money, and then set out for a road trip in my most reliable 1978 Volare, its trunk packed full of spare fluids, tires, and parts, almost none of which I had to use.
There was just one problem. Their headquarters are located in a pretty weird spot of an industrial park. One of those big skyscrapers-on-skyscrapers places where nobody lives, and the food sucks, but there are thousands of parking spots. They all look the same, and I think I transposed a digit in the address when I was punching it into my GPS (a Garmin from 1997, whose speaker barely works and whose power supply consists of an absurd number of ganged-together solar panels that I broke out of desk calculators.) When I turned up, the building looked like any of the other ones in the complex, so I went on in.
The good news? I got the job. The bad news? The good folks at Kitchenaid were so terrified about how aggressively I dismantled their test blender that my job is "being paid to stay at least 100 feet away from any and all Kitchenaid employees, at all times." It pays pretty well, though, which is to their credit. I think it's because I made a good first impression. And second. And third. They really should have made those chopping-blade impellers out of a better plastic.
