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How to woo your crush: Lessons from Asamiya on his courtship to Mayama:

I want to start this post by saying that I didn't know I would fall for these two so fast, but here I am. I just don't know what Japanese BLs have been adding in their BLs recently because it works really well on me when I used to feel so disconnected from them (Well done Japan, you made me fall for your BLs!)

Have no filters on your thoughts. Communication is the key of the heart! Asamiya tells them out loud and he doesn't shy away from telling them. So, do the same!

2. Don't be afraid of showing your appreciation when your crush do something. Asamiya may be a bit extreme, but have you ever tried showing how you like being gifted a bread from the object of his affection?!

3. Don't forget to send messages to your crush. If Asamiya could, he would give Mayama love notes every day, but he is trying really hard not to scare his crush. He tries to take it slow, while dying from showering him with proofs of his affection.

4. Make sure your friends know you're already trying to court your crush. Take Asamiya, he doesn't really like when his friends joke about wanting to date Mayama. He is trying really hard to woo him and he doesn't want his friends to meddle. Let them find someone else.

5. Tell them you like how they look to give them confidence. When Mayama was saying bad things about his body, Asamiya was quick to tell him that he would love him no matter what. Love is about the person and not only their appearance.

6. A bit of jealousy is acceptable, only when you're a character in a story. It's only a way as Asamiya to reassure his crush that he likes his personality, but also his looks.

7. Frustration may happen when you're interrupted. It's so hard to flirt when everyone is interrupting you're impromptu little flirting. Just like Asamiya you have to remain calm and wait for the next time you'll get really close to your crush.

8. Offer help when they are feeling cold. It's the perfect time for PDA. Follow Asamiya's example, you must be ready to get physically closer to your crush to help them feel better. It's time to show how useful, being in a relationship with you could be.

9. Always respect your crush's boundaries. Being a controlling suitor isn't really the right answer. Sometimes, you'll make mistakes and if your crush, as Miyama tells you out loud what their boundaries are, you must respect them. If you made a mistake, apologize because that the most respectful and sexiest things you can do. Get inspiration from Asamiya.

That's it for this week! I can't wait to see more, next week.

If Japan could cool it with these adorable hs bls, I would appreciate the opportunity to redirect some of my mental capacity literally anywhere else…

negrowhat

More ToptapMinlee for liio

pleaseandnothankyou

That third one though…

respectthepetty

Just Asamiya casually being insane all episode.

I want to tell Mayama to run but . . . what was my point?

mysurrealgaylife

heretherebedork

I really appreciate Japan's love of the 'popular guy falls in love with unpopular guy who is totally oblivious to it' trope. Their dedication has only made my life better. I hope for a million more variations.

Japan really has me by the throat with these adorable hs bls right now…

alaanz

Popular serizawa acts weird around me dares to ask the question of what if the main leads from school trip had ao3 accounts

thequeenofsastiel

Gotta say, I'm deeply curious about what Sun thought Jay might do here

There's absolute terror in his eyes. Seriously, what does he think Jay's plan is? He can't think Jay is about to kill him. I mean, Jay is looking at him in a cold and pitiless fashion

I too would be quite frightened if my Dom was looking at me like that, especially if I knew that s/he was a sadist. I suppose it's the unknown that scares him so much. Their relationship is frustratingly unnegotiated(standard disclaimer that if you're going to practice kink, always, ALWAYS, negotiate, don't do it like these two), so Sun has no real way of knowing how far Jay might take this.

I will say, it's notable to me that, despite Sun's resistance and fear of what Jay might do, he doesn't go to the lengths that he could to stop Jay, even with his stab wound. I find it highly unlikely that there would be no stronger actions for him to take in order to prevent someone from using a knife on him in that moment. He has a whole other uninjured arm that he isn't using to push Jay off of him.

Seriously, he could absolutely use his other arm to fight against Jay more effectively, but he doesn't. It's clear that, at this point, Sun ultimately feels that Jay has a right to do as he wishes to Sun. Sun might beg and plead and struggle some, but he won't ultimately try to stop Jay from punishing him. The main weapon he uses, at least in that moment, is this:

Which, as I think we all know at this point, will only be a goad to Jay's appetite

He is exactly the wrong Dom to use scared puppy(or bunny) eyes on to escape punishment. There isn't the kind of softness in him necessary for that to work. That tactic only works if your Dom doesn't like to see you in pain. Jay very much likes to see Sun in pain, so no amount of begging with words or facial expressions is going to sway him against hurting Sun. A lesson Sun is learning the hard way in this scene.

thequeenofsastiel

Both punishment scenes demonstrate an important thing that couples negotiating D/s relationships have to do, which is to figure out what kind of punishment actually works. Because if the sub is a masochist, it's often difficult to find a way to make pain work as a punishment. The fact that in the second scene Sun was willing to be a brat in order to be physically harmed by Jay demonstrates that this could be an issue. Even in Brat Tamer/brat dynamics, real punishment can be necessary, if the brat disobeys a rule that the Dom actually does want them to consistently follow and not break just to get funishment(for those unfamiliar and who haven't read my previous post on this topic, funishment is when a brat breaks a rule in order to get their Dom to do something that would normally be considered a punishment but is actually something they both find fun). Jay has learned that physical pain will not work as a punishment for Sun. I think he smiled after Sun bratted at him to receive pain both because Sun initially tried to avoid punishment when he didn't know that physical pain was the punishment Jay was planning, and also because he liked seeing that Sun enjoys Jay hurting him even outside of sex.

However, actual punishment is still necessary, and Jay now understands that it's emotional pain that's effective. Which is why, when he wants to break Sun out of that playful mood, he draws Sun's attention to his cut wrist

Something that absolutely works and brings Sun's attention and desire to be obedient to the forefront of his mind

One of the reasons true punishment is so important in a D/s relationship is that it actually helps center subs and makes us feel oddly calmer after. The biggest draw of D/s relationships for us is to let someone else be in charge. Free us from having to make decisions, something that, for whatever reason, is either difficult for us or just something we don't like doing. When our Dom punishes us, it reinforces the sense of them being the one in control and making decisions for us. Yet it can also be strangely empowering. The Dom can only punish us if we allow it to happen. Putting aside the lack of negotiation and the coercive nature of how their relationship started, both of which are unacceptable irl, the fact is, Sun allows Jay to punish him. He actively gives Jay that power by not truly fighting back in the first scene. But it's power that he's very aware he possesses.

You can only freely give someone power if you have power to give away. Becoming aware of that power, and knowing that you can take it back if you wish, is ultimately, as I said, empowering. Sun doesn't have to accede to any of this. Did Jay pressure him in a way that would be unacceptable irl? Sure. But Sun's revenge seeking has ended. He no longer has any need of Jay for anything except their romantic and kink relationship. He could walk away at any time(I'm ignoring Jay's behavior in the manhwa here because that version of him and their dynamic is different in fundamental ways). At this point, Jay has no real power over him except that which Sun freely gives. I believe this is why Jay's reminder of the effective punishment helps Sun focus and calm. Sun has given Jay power, and Jay has shown that it's meaningful power. Sun might be in the hospital after being beaten in a fight and almost killed, needing to be saved by others, but he still has power, to do with as he wishes. Seeing that power reflected in Jay's actions makes him feel safe. Centered. Loved.

Also, the way they look at each other here is so beautiful to me. The vulnerability and trust in Sun's face, with more than a dash of fear, is deeply relatable. The steadiness, seriousness, and intense focus in Jay's gaze fills my heart with longing. That level of calm and strength is something I and many other subs look for in a Dom. Regardless of the fact that rl kinksters need to establish their dynamic in a much more consensual fashion, these two characters and actors are able to very effectively portray the deep emotion of D/s relationships. The powerful connection it builds between those involved. How much it means to us when we're able to experience the dynamic we crave. I love it.

I have NEVER looked at Sea Tawinan like that until today. What in the actual fuck.